what do you mean a thesaurus isnt a dinosaur
this is adorable as fuck and you can’t tell me otherwise
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
“boys dont like it when-"
"girls don’t like it when-”
“people would probably like you better if-”
FAVOURITE POST
I’m watching Thor on TV (again), and I will never stop giggling over the scene where Jane, Darcy and Erik are checking Thor into the hospital.
Because Jane gets all defensive and flustered when Darcy announces that she hit Thor with the van, before trying to deflect onto…
How relationships work:
I like your butt.
However, I can notice other butts. They can be nice too.But your butt is my favourite butt. It’s the nicest butt. Because it’s mine. And I can touch it.
This.
ok but consider this
- natasha and clint spending christmas together on clint’s farm
- natasha and clint going to a tree farm together
- natasha all bundled up on thick scarves and a knit hat standing back and sipping her hot peppermint mocha while clint chops down…
brainfreeze is my favorite pain response because it’s literally your body telling you to stop eating fucking snow, you stupid jackass, what is wrong with you
I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH
OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE
THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION
“Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens.” -My Asshole Cat
Something like this happened to me. Not life-threatening, but it was still one of the most awful experiences of my life. Two boys asked me out every day for half of eighth grade and most of ninth grade–both of them, together, at the same time. They weren’t huge guys, but they were a lot bigger than me and they were athletes and they thought it was funny to call me a tease and tell the whole school I was playing hard to get. The fact that they had girlfriends? Yeah, that didn’t help people’s perspective of me either. I didn’t beat around the bush, I didn’t suggest that I thought it was cute or flattering, I flat-out said no every single day.
There were times when they would walk up and sit on my desk or play with my hair without my permission, and I had a track record of violence (although I never got nailed for anything by the administration), so I would have been blamed if I reacted. Unless I wanted to get suspended, I had to sit there and take it. And I did. For over a year. I got increasingly aggressive with my rejections–one of them tried to grab me and hug me, and I threatened to kick him in the crotch. And they continued, even after that. Until finally, while the teacher for one of my classes was out of the room, one of them tried to grab me one time too many. I grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into a table and said, very seriously, that I would break his hand the next time he laid one finger me (I have enough martial arts training and anatomical knowledge that it wasn’t remotely a bluff).
He believed me, and the two of them finally left me alone (and I wasn’t reported to any teachers), but I was told repeatedly by a lot of people that I shouldn’t have gotten violent because they were complimenting me. That I should have been flattered because they were popular and I wasn’t. That it wouldn’t have gone so far if I had just said yes. That I SHOULD have said yes because I didn’t have a boyfriend and God knows my life should revolve around the dream of the Disney fairytale.
You know what? Fuck that. I have the right to turn down any date I want, and I shouldn’t have to put up with harassment because of it. I have the right to say ‘do not touch me’ and be acknowledged without threatening to break bones. I have the right to say 'hey, I don’t need a boyfriend to be a fully constructed human being’ without being judged. And the worst part is that my situation? No matter how unpleasant and violating it felt? IT WAS MINOR. GIRLS DIE BECAUSE OF THIS.
Don’t teach girls how to break fingers and deviate septums. Teach boys how to respect us as human beings, not toys for their amusement.
[reading fic]
[cute thing happens between otp]
[covers face]
[grins]
[slides down in chair and pulls legs up]
[long high pitched whine]
[straightens self out and continues reading]
cry laugh feel love peace panic:
“Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?” -vampmissedith.tumblr.com
THIS IS MANDATORY READING!
(via feminist-space)
EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ THIS.
(via stfueverything)
My lesbian aunt is moving to my hometown and I was telling my mom about how I’m gonna hangout with her and stuff and my mom looked upset and she was like “We need to have a talk.” and we sat down and she said “Your aunt lives a certain lifestyle that I don’t want you to adapt from her” and I was internally screaming but then she finished with “so whatever you do don’t let her talk you into smoking pot” i’m crying my aunt is 52
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow
you have a beautiful imagination
beautiful
so i went into the other french class to drop off some things for the professor
and they were learning about compraritives and superlatives and the prof was like
“how do you say ‘i am better than you’?”
some kid in the back yelled “je suis beyoncé” and i lost my shit so hard
memes come and go but bees and the skeleton war are forever
i lied. bees are not forever. go to savebees.org to learn more about how you can help
google search: how to survive the shitty three weeks of school after thanksgiving and before winter break
I was so sleep deprived the other day that I tried to zoom in on a paper
wtf I just made that post
oh wait that is my post
I havent slept in 2 days
i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer
#but until I reach that point I’m a fucking delight and you should appreciate that
This is what it means to be an introvert. Not being shy. This.
Ok, since Cumberbatch is officially Strange, there needs to be a scene featuring Cumberbatch and Downey Jr. where someone says something along the lines of “No shit, Sherlock” and they both look at each other uncomfortably.
Cannon = thing that goes boom
Canon = an event that occurs within a published story
they both destroy ships tho
Did you just
he did
YES
I JUST AWED OUT LOUD I LOVE THIS VERSION