If someone says dont touch me, please dont
- laugh and obnoxiously say “Touch. Touch.” While poking them
- put your arm around their shoulders/grab their arm
- say “why are you so sensitive? jeez, touchy!”
- keep touching them in any way shape or form
Please do
- remove your body part from their body part unless you wish for your body part to be ripped the fuck off
The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow.
Gentlemen.
A FULLY EXTENDED MODERN LONGBOW GEE GREAT THANKS NOW ALL I SEE IS A WOMAN FIRING A FUCKING BABY OUT OF HER UTERUS AT AN ARCHERY TARGET
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you
Right so I bought this cute new umbrella with clouds!
I took it out for the first time today and got home and looked at it and look! Look!
I couldn’t believe it! I went out again in heavier rain and look!
Rainbow clouds! My umbrella is magic!
I am a happy bun.
Reblogging this in the daytime because I feel it is important.
OH MY GOD I NEED ONE!!!!
i ship a lot of otps, ot3s, brotps and foetps, but i will never ship anything as fiercely as i do ‘ragtag bunch of misfits turned found family’.
i want trans kids to be safe so badly.
No media about the fact that there’s a All Male, African American High school on the southside of chicago who year after year has a 100% graduating senior class who ALL get accepted to 4 year universities/colleges.
they just want to talk about how whether a person’s death on the southside is gang related or not.WHAT
This is ridiculously impressive.
I’m just looking up sources, and the statistics are really incredible.
My mom just told me that because I’m a boy, I can’t wear dresses.
Like, sometimes I just wanna dress up all fancy in a dress and be a bomb-smashin booty-rockin drop dead diva, okay?
She wants me to get rid of my dresses because I’m a boy, but I wanna prove a point to her.
i wanna thank the ao3 guys for making the page look like an academic website so that i can read fanfiction in the library so that people think i’m doing research for a paper when i’m actually reading about two guys fucking
I’ve decided to design a line of clothing, and I’m going to call it It Has Pockets. It’s going to be a line of simple dresses and skirts and every single one will have fucking pockets.
We should be funding this
add women jeans with real pockets please.
and leggings with secret pockets
Do not let adults steal this generation from you. Relish in selfies. Snapchat pictures of coffee to your friends, huddle around an iphone to watch Vines. Shamelessly love this generations commodities, like how your parents loved THEIR commodities, like disco or Hammer Pants or whatever else. Do not let angry adults take away your chance to experience the uniqueness of right now.
I really love this post
stuck in the constant limbo between “really excited about my own writing” and “pretty sure I can’t actually write”
So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT
But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.
Cry
but what did your driving instructor say
WHAT DID HE SAY
THIS IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER
152,000 people want to know what your teacher responded.
We’re closing on 600,000 people, what did he say?
Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him
stage 1 of friendship: what’s up ily so much!
stage 2 of friendship: oh god i hope i’m not being too clingy or bothering them
stage 3 of friendship: hey dickhead fucking answer me
Stage 4 of friendship: im outside your house and im coming in
Stage 5 of friendship: I’m already in your house when are you coming home
“i am an adult” i whisper as i colour a fan with crayons so it’ll look pretty when it spins
fuck everyone it’s beautiful
Today someone came into the cafeteria and yelled “there are free bagels in the student center but they’re running out!” I stood up immediately and just ran. Apparently half the cafeteria had the same idea because soon I was sprinting alongside 100 other students desperately making their way across campus in the name of free bagels. God bless
When I reblog posts with low notes I feel like I’m shopping at whole foods. This is some locally grown fair trade indie label content, and I support it
Dear young females,
if a man ever interrupts you say “excuse me I wasn’t finished.” and finish ur statement. The looks u get and his mortified reaction will make u unstoppable.
demand respect.
It’s great because after you do this for a while and you get the self-confidence, you can communicate a whole paragraph of “how dare you interrupt me, peasant” with a sharp look and a hand movement.
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain