one of my favorite things is that there is surprisingly little scientific literature about the common house cat, because it turns out cats are the least cooperative research animals on the planet. They don’t care what you want them to do. food? you know what, we’ve decided we’re not even hungry right now. what is this, a maze? we’re gonna sit right here and lick ourselves for the next forty-five minutes, what are you gonna do about it.
it’s like, “okay science, we’ve done about 4000 tests to determine the intelligence and emotional perspicacity of domestic dogs, let’s do cats next”
“well sir, we’ve conducted a full battery of all the standard tests”
Every time I’m reminded about how amazing Ginny is, by a friend or a post or a stray thought —
Like how great her talent must be at Quidditch for being able to play both Chaser and Seeker competitively and even beating other players who’ve been training as Seeker the whole term while she only filled in for Harry…
Or how she always, always, always defends those who cannot defend themselves — that girl from the battle, Luna, Neville, and even Harry…
Or how she must have been the loyal friend to Hermione when Harry and Ron were being idiot boys quarreling with her…
Or how she fought against the trauma of being possessed by Voldemort, and how she never lost her sense of humor in spite of everything that had happened, and how deeply she still cared for those around her…
Or how she always understood Harry on a level that needed no words and explanations…
I think to myself, “man, Harry must love her so much.” He would probably get moments where he would just stare at her and count himself lucky not only because she loves him, but also for the simple fact that she is there with him, she is in his world, she exists. He would just look at her and think, “Marry me,” and even after they were already married, he’d still get those moments. And he’ll always have those moments for the rest of his life because Ginny is his great love and that is beautiful because I could not wish anything less for him.
There’s a glitter war in my house. It started with me putting glitter in my sisters bed. She then threw the glitter on me, covering the couch with sparkles as well. At this point, it has escalated to a point where there’s glitter in the fridge, the freezer. You can’t eat food without chowing down on some. It’s in every room of the house, coating everything. My brother went to school with an outfit that could put David Bowie to shame. Today we had to have a family meeting, and I have never seen two people look so disappointed and so fabulous.
PETITION TO MAKE LEARNING ANOTHER LANGUAGE COMPULSORY IN ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRIES FROM A YOUNG AGE BECAUSE ENGLISH SPEAKERS ARE LAZY ASSWIPES WHO EXPECT EVERYONE TO SPEAK ENGLISH AND NEVER BOTHER EVEN LEARNING ANY OTHER LANGUAGE.
Actually, most of us would love speak another language but our education system sucks so we literally learn 4 words. It’s not because we are all lazy.
AMEN TO THAT
AMEN GURL. How can you stereotype all English people as lazy you little worm
^^THIS. I took nine years of public school Spanish (VOLUNTARILY, I MIGHT ADD) and I can name you like six colors, five buildings, and a handful of emotions. Working hard to learn another language DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR SHITTY-ASS CLASSES.
So, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly. They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.
the thing you forget until you watch a show like supernatural is how damn impressive it is that leverage managed 77 episodes without ever having a character make a dumb choice just to advance the plot
Recovery tip: When someone says “You can call me any time”, take advantage of that. Actually call them when you’re having a bad day. That’s what they said they would be there for and it’s better than you having a relapse. A relapse can kill you; a friend could be yours for life.
I TELL THIS TO EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT AND NO ONE UTILIZES IT AND IT MAKES ME SO FRICKIN SAD
no one ever says that Rome needed help from aliens to build their empire
#l laughed for days when i found out that #ancient egyptians used water to reduce friction and move blocks for distances #and that this was literally DEPICTED ON THEIR HIEROGLYPHICS #but ~western archaeologists~ #thought that the pouring of water depicted ~superstitious rituals~ #jfc
As an archeology major, I can vouch for this being absolutely true:
Any time we see something we don’t understand, we mark it down as ritual purposes. It’s actually a catch-all euphemism for “We have absolutely no clue what these people were doing here yet so until we work it out we’ll pretend it was something to do with their religion.”
And yeah, sometimes it is a white people thing. When white people went into Canada the natives introduced them to the delights of maple syrup. The white people asked “Well, how did you ever work out this sap was edible and delicious.”
The native people responded, “Oh, well, Squirrel showed us.”
White people: Hahahaha They’re off on that totem animal spirit guide thing again.
It wasn’t until this century that scientists actually observed squirrels in that area cutting holes in sugar maples, waiting for the sap to crystallize, and eating it.
The native people were actually being literal and the white people thought they were being metaphorical. Sigh.
Reminder that Steve Rogers was born in 1920, and Bucky Barnes was born in 1917, which means that Steve was in his early twenties during the war, and Bucky was in his mid twenties. I know that they’re both portrayed by 30 year old men, but really? They probably looked more like these guys:
Don’t forget that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had to grow up way too
fast, not only because of the war, but because they were teenagers in
the Great Depression, they were part of an extremely marginalized group during a time of extreme tension, and the whole dead parents thing. Don’t forget that Steve and Bucky probably never got
to do dumb teenager things because they both had to do whatever work
they could to stay afloat and then a WAR happened.
Think about all that pressure once Steve was “Captain America” and became a propaganda piece. Think about the atrocities of war that they’d have seen. Think about the fact that they both faced death. Think about the fact that Steve’s best friend died. THINK ABOUT HOW THESE KIDSARE NOW SUDDENLY 95+ YEARS OLD. Think about Bucky, waking up and technically being maybe 27 and having to reconcile all the things HYDRA made him do as the Winter Soldier.
Peggy Carter was born in 1919. She is only a year older than Steve. She’s still in her twenties during Agent Carter, y’all. Let that sink in for a moment. She’s still in her twenties.
That flashback scene in The Winter Soldier with the “I’m with ya till the end of the line”? They were teenagers then. TEENAGERS.
REMINDER THAT THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGERS WERE ALL CHILDREN.
THIS IS NOT EVEN IN THE FOOTNOTES ON THE LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE OKAY
“Kids love black holes the way they love T-Rex. And I think it’s because each of these entities can eat you. And anything that eats you, you give your highest respect.”—
Neil deGrasse Tyson, The Inexplicable Universe: Unsolved Mysteries (via
u know what women need to stop being embarrassed about their periods
need a tampon? ask your friend for one, even if there are boys around
replacing a pad? don’t bother hiding it on the way to the bathroom
u have cramps?? dont be afraid to tell your male teacher that you need to go to the nurse for a pain killer
you don’t have to apologize for talking about your period in front of men, if they’re uncomfortable they can go away but I have a feeling they’ll survive lol
can we just please stop making what almost every single woman goes through every single month as a way of ensuring the human race doesn’t go extinct into something taboo
That’s one thing I cannot stand. Gay people will refer to the LGBT community as the gay community, refer to LGBT rights as gay rights, refer to same gender marriage as gay marriage, but when a bi/pansexual person wants to call themselves gay all of a sudden using the word as an umbrella term becomes a major problem.
A white rich suburban mom called me a dropout and told her very young daughter (who made the comment I was working very hard) this is where she’d end up if she didn’t do well in school
Finally
I graduated top 10 from both high school and college to hear the dropout speech from a white suburban mom
It’s like a right of passage for working in service and retail jobs
Finally I am a true waitress
The AMERICAN WAITRESS
There is no one with less respect for service workers than the rich white suburban mom. They always have this shitty attitude and treat you like a literal slave. I have never had any other kind of person ask to see the manager.
Please do not stick your dick in someone’s ass and then put it in their pussy without wiping it off. That will cause a bacterial infection to the likes of which you’ve never seen. Love yourself as I have loved you.
YEA
People still reblogging this but for real do not do this shit. That bacterial infection can turn to a blood infection and your ass will die. All for some dick. You wanna die over some mediocre bootyass sex? Love yourself.
oh my god so i have a friend who’s a writer and we were talking about how hard writing is and at some point she said ‘‘well usually when i get stuck i kill somebody’‘ and it took at least 30 seconds of me staring at her and being absolutely terrified before i realized that she meant she killed characters and that my friend was not, in fact, a recreational murderer
does anyone else secretly have that “i liked it before it was cool” complex but wont admit it
it’s more along the lines of “you guys were fucking making fun of me for liking this before it was cool” kinda complex
Also a “I super excitedly tried to show this to you years ago and you brushed it off and now you think you introduced it to me and that is infuriating” kinda complex
Warning: I DO use dude, man, bruh, and bro as completely gender neutral terms, HOWEVER if I call you one of the above and it bothers you, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me.
