Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
A relationship is like a house
If a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
Unless that house is a lying whore
Then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
This took the best possible turn.
i just remembered people with penises can’t have multiple consecutive orgasms ohhjhhh my g OD HAHAHAHHKDFHAH
Well people with vaginas have periods so I think y’all deserve all the orgasms you want
that’s….really sweet… omfg
This post is also inclusive of transgender people this is the most positive post be seen all week
You can be mature and respectful and still have a dirty sense of humour.
You can curse a lot and still be highly intelligent with a massive vocabulary.
You can be quiet and reserved and still be witty and even outgoing in certain circles.
You can be intelligent and sharp-minded and still forget what month it is
you can dance if you wanna, you can leave your friends behind
Whenever I hear people say that classical music is boring I just want to remind them that Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture called for a cannon to be fired a total of 16 times.
External imageremove cattle from stage
Forever reblog.
You can hear him say oh snap
9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that
the hell kind of classes are you taking?
I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”
breaking news: white cis boy drinks a can of monster energy drink, more at 11
breaking news: tumblr feminists continue to make jokes about cis white guys which in turn make them look exactly like the idea of man hating feminists that I thought we were trying to break away from
breaking news: I am a cis white boy and I was talking about myself, sit down child.
hooray for the ladies
who are using their fame
to get shit done
(not intended to be a complete list)
plot twist: the day before the ant man premiere marvel releases a statement saying “oops, wrong insect”, along w a lenghty black widow trailer, next day the black widow origin movie is released and all is well in the world
I hate when parents use the whole “I pay for your food and clothes and everything else!” Excuse to make their kids feel guilty. Its like, oh, yes, sorry you decided to have a child and actually have to care for that child. What a horrible thing for a small human to need those things and for the birthgiver to care for them. Poor you.
Imagine your OTP having a fun day at the beach.
#that awkward moment when (via nieniekoto)
For Cherik fandom beach is like Fight Club:
You DO NOT talk about Fight Club
3rd RULE of Fight Club: If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
Things nobody ever tells you about female bodily functions, so you have to google it to find out it’s perfectly normal:
Vaginal chemistry being acidic enough to bleach your black underwear.
wait… so *that’s* what happens?!?
I THOUGHT IT WAS STAINS NO WONDER THEY WEREN’T WASHING OFF
holy shit i was so embarrassed about this
[annoyed nat voice] bartON
[muffled clint in the ventilation system voice] bartoff
when i was a child i used to think teens were grown ups and when i was a teen i thought college students were grown ups and now that im a college student im just like what the hell is a grown up anymore
Now that I’m older than college age I’ve concluded that grown ups are a myth.
srsly tho if marvel thinks they can replace a black widow movie with 5 mins footage of nat’s backstory in aou they can go and bury themselves in the backyard
