Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
Like not once did she say “I want a prince to come and rescue me from my situation.”
She just wanted to look cute and turn the fuck up at the party.
(via sighes)
i sent this photo to one of my friends
with the caption ‘motherfuckin bubbles. you best envy me’
and all he did was reply with ‘ARE YOU NAKED????’
i was like, ‘what??????????no???’
‘who the fuck takes a bath naked are you mad ???’
BECAUSE I DO. IN CASE YOU HADN’T GUESSED, IT’S A FUCKTON. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT SPEAK WORD COUNT, THAT IS OVER TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY PAGES, SINGLE SPACED SIZE TWELVE FONT.
Anyway, the point to that is that I just hit 200,000 words in the novel I’m writing (which is my baby and the goddamn bane of my existence) and I feel like I’ve slain a fucking dragon with nothing but a pointy stick.
When I die, I want my bones fused into position so I’m flipping the bird with both hands, then I want to be launched into orbit so I’ll just end up this angry space skeleton constantly disapproving of everything that happens on earth.
Plus, they’ll have to change all astrology charts.
Jupiter is rising on Virgo, and the angry skeleton is moving into Aries.
At 712 notes, this is my most successful ever text post.
DO YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF WRITER’S BLOCK WHERE YOU ALREADY HAVE A PLOT, YOU KNOW WHAT TO WRITE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE IT AND YOU JUST STARE AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN FOR HOURS UNTIL YOU FINALLY CLOSE THE DOCUMENT AND CURSE YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE
CAUSE I DO
Dear person reading this,
You made it through another year. You made it through the hard times and pain. You made it through all the times when you all you wanted to do was give up. You made it. You made it another year and I promise you can make it another year. I am SO proud of you.
I needed this.
same
I needed this A LOT right now.
so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.
So one of my friends broke her arm falling off her porch and her hot neighbor friend took her to the emergency room. When she about to get a xray the technician asked “is there any possibility of you being pregnant?” and she’s like “No” the technician looked at her, looked the the hot neighbor friend then look back at her and asked “Are you sure?”
If Toph can reduce the entire plot of Sozin’s Comet to a few bland sentences, “Nice man but it didn’t really work out between us.” probably translates into the most epic and heart wrenching love story conceived.
this really cute customer came in today and i asked him how he was paying and he said ‘hasta la visa baby’ and then he blushed and cleared his throat and was like ‘um.. visa please’ and i kinda wanna marry him
friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”
hail satan
rain satan
snow satan
tomorrow there is a 90% chance of precipisatan
it’ll be foggy in the morning, lots of condensatan
OK, when you guys get down here to hell, give the doorman your URLs and I’ll get you VIP treatment.
You guys are alright.
my chinese students really love english profanity because they dont get in trouble for it
i try to just ignore it so they don’t get a reaction and keep using it
but today during a creative writing exercise, a character was arguing with a dragon, and the kids needed to decide what the character would yell
this one kid raises his hand and calmly submits his suggestion of “f*ck you, you foolish dragon motherf*cker”
i dont know its just
its difficult not to react to that
American Christmas: don’t be naughty or else you’ll get coal
German Christmas: don’t be naughty or else you’ll be kidnapped by a demon who stuffs you in his wheat basket and eats you
I’M CLEAN
i took
a shower
the amount of people that think these aren’t art forms angers me
i think my favorite story is my bisexual friends father hating that she liked the same gender so he sent her to a catholic school an all girls school
an enclosed space with nothing but girls
I like to imagine him crossing his arms and thinking “why yes, this is a sound decision”
“the perfect plan”
“women shouldn’t have to wear makeup unless they want to!”
YEAH
“you don’t have to conform to society’s expectations of feminine aesthetics! ”
YEAH
“women who don’t wear makeup are better; i only like women who look good without makeup; women who wear makeup are fake; etc.”
NOOOOOOOOOOO
petition to start romanticizing brown eyes
The colour was rich like chocolate and soft as fur when she was happy, but when crossed, quickly became the rocks the ships shattered against in the storm.
I am immensely pleased with this.
Aw this made me happy
petition to start romanticizing brown eyes
The colour was rich like chocolate and soft as fur when she was happy, but when crossed, quickly became the rocks the ships shattered against in the storm.
I am immensely pleased with this.
Aw this made me happy
a transgender person has a child
they are now transparent
I almost thought there was gonna be something mean at the end of that. Nope. Just a pun
