Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
*drops food on floor*
germs: go get it! quick!
king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule
my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy
you know how much pressure there is on girls to be good at every video game they play, because if they fuck up once there’s going to be a heck of a lot of people saying how girls suck and how they shouldn’t play video games
So, about a month ago, me and my younger sister decided to hit up the local thrift store. I stumbled upon this gem.
For $2, I decided to take this treasure home, and aptly name it “Crying Baby Pumpkin-Head”. When I got home, I realized it had a cord, and plugged into the wall…
What in God’s holy name did I buy this is a soul sucking demon of Satan.
maybe i’m a goddamn bleeding heart hippie liberal but i’m totally down with paying an extra .50 cents for a thing of fries if the person who makes me those fries doesn’t have to work 3 jobs just to survive.
most studies show that prices would only have to go up by 1 to 3 cents in order to raise employee wages significantly
or, you know, the ceo’s could take pay cuts but that would be so hard for the poor multimillionaires
Shoutout to the nice cops, like the ones who found my stolen wallet in the subway station trash. And to the professional, caring cops who actually want to protect and improve their communities. So many are awful that it gives even good ones a bad name. Who knows, maybe praising…
i want jewish wizards fighting against the nazis and branding them with swastikas, taking revenge for the slaughter of the six million and fighting in the resistance. i want rabbi wizards in their shetls, making the menorah glow in the dark, even when things were so terrible that…
fun statistics for adults!
“when I was a kid, I had no help with college tuition, I was hardworking and paid it all myself”
-Annual tuition for Yale, 1970: $2,550
-Annual tuition for Yale, 2014: $45,800
-Minimum Wage, 1970: $1.45
-Minimum Wage, 2014: $7.25
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 1970: 4.8
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 2014: 17.3
the older I get, the more I look back on my favorite YA heroines with a growing sense of protective mothering, like I want to gather them all up in my arms and go “you did what when you were sixteen? oh no, get back inside, Chosen One or whatever you’re going by these days, let me swaddle you in blankets and we can eat some chocolate and I’ll tell you how you’re great without having to fulfill the prophecy.”
“…leave your sword and love triangle outside, thank you”
Things I learnt today: During WW1, MI5 used Girl Guides to send secret messages. They used Girl Guides because they quickly found that Boy Scouts couldn’t be trusted and were’t efficient enough.
jack the ripper identified
*swat team descends on graveyard*
we fuckin got him now
i just lost 4 followers
Come at me, fuckboys!
well now we face a dilemma: if the the swat team is the fuckboys, are we morally obligated to help a member of the skeleton army escape them, even if he’s a known Victorian murderer?
Pen caps that don’t fit on both ends of the pen.
WHAT KIND OF MOTH IS THAT
an angry one
i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet. that is mankind’s legacy.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.
literary jokes never grow old
the painting in the attic does that for them
