I want the first time Natasha meets Darcy to go as follows:
Darcy walks in with Thor because her car broke down on the way to the Avengers party and he had to go get her… Again. She walks in and Thor introduces her. Nat is just normal and says it is nice to meet you…
people should just reply to anon hate with this
damn dude thats brutal
I honestly don’t know which of these is more guilt tripping
i remember back in first grade my school did this thing every year called a readathon where everyone wore pajamas to school and we had blankets and pillows and we built little nests on the floor and literally did nothing but read all day with periodical hot chocolate breaks and it was ENFORCED that everyone had to read the whole time i think i just defined paradise
i am 27 and i think this sounds like a wonderful day
I WANT A TRUE HORROR MOVIE WHERE ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE INTELLIGENT AND DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND TAKE ALL THE PROPER PRECAUTIONS BUT STILL WIND UP GETTING KILLED BY THE ANTAGONIST
NOTHING IS SCARIER THAN DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN IN VAIN AND STARING IN THE FACE OF FUTILITY
(plus I would like not to yell at the characters for being dumb for once)
*pulls up to the fanfic drive-thru window* uh yeah, i’ll take a fake relationship with a side of mutual pining and thinking the other isn’t interested, thanks
#[comes into fanfic restaurant] I DIDN’T ORDER ANY OOC-NESS MAKE ME A NEW ONE
i choose to believe that marvel are secretly filming a black widow movie and they are going to pull a beyonce on us and release it without warning
When they make a black widow movie, the trailer needs to be all mysterious and the song playing needs to be Scarlett Johansson singing a lullaby cover of the itsy bitsy spider
I need this in my life
That sounds fucking terrifying.
The lullaby should be in Russian.
This is like my 10th time Reblogging but it’s too good not to
DO YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF WRITER’S BLOCK WHERE YOU ALREADY HAVE A PLOT, YOU KNOW WHAT TO WRITE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE IT AND YOU JUST STARE AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN FOR HOURS UNTIL YOU FINALLY CLOSE THE DOCUMENT AND CURSE YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE
CAUSE I DO
Yes.
So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.
The Black Widow is Russian.
Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.
Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”
Successful 92.6% of the time.
sail boats are the easiest thing to steal ever because they don’t have a key because there is no engine. all you need is a sound knowledge of the wind and a yearning to conquer the seas
#I think you mean piracy #There is a real historical precedent for this [x]
august, september, halloween, november, december
I think you mean august, september, halloween, turkey, christmas
I believe it’s spelled hot as balls, fuck it it’s school again, halloween, turkey, christmas
don’t forget new years, forever alone, windy as fuck, shit its raining, allergies, oh hey its actually decent, wait nevermind
and a partridge in a pear tree
what I want in avengers 2 is that the avengers are shocked to hear thor has another friend on earth beside them, his lady love jane, and erik.
‘wat do you mean u have another friend!?’
'aye, she’s jane foster’s assistant and a valiant warrior as well, brought me down with an electric shock when we meet’ :D
'WhAT?1!’
and I think we need to discuss the fact that Darcy Lewis and Skye would be a brOTP to end all brOTPs. Let’s face it, they’re both intelligent, snarky babes who have to deal with an endless amount of intergalactic fuckery and can wrangle scientists like total bosses. AND they’re both technogeeks
I cannot be alone in thinking this. Can i?
hi there, anon. i didn’t realize i took a lot of selfies. thanks for the info. so, your question was whether i think i’m pretty. you already answered that no, i am not.
and i have to agree, anon. i don’t think i’m pretty bc i’m not.
i’m fat.

i always have a double chin.

i constantly look like i haven’t slept in a week bc of my dark circles
and, i always look sunburnt. idfk why

i have this white line across my nose that makeup can’t cover up

i have tons of wrinkles on my forehead. like what the hell? i’m 25
also, it’s the size of fucking texas

i still don’t know how to smile in pictures bc i hate my fucking teeth

my feet are flat. my hips are huge. my boobs are weird. i am covered in stretch marks. my voice is grating. my ears stick out two miles from my head. i am always fucking sweating and i’ve been asked if i was pregnant more times than i can count.
so, you’re right. i’m not pretty. i can’t stand the way i look.
which is why it’s so fucking important that i post “a lot” of selfies. bc, anon, you’d better fucking believe that if i look in the mirror that day and don’t cringe, i’m gonna take a fucking picture to save that tiny little second. and GOD FORBID i show the world that i posses a little self love every once in a fucking while.
TO ANYONE READING THIS: DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR LIKING THE WAY YOU LOOK—EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A SECOND. IF YOU LOOK NICE, YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING SELFIE AND YOU SHOW IT TO THE GOD DAMN WORLD BC THEY DESERVE TO SEE THE GOD/GODDESS YOU ARE!
that beard finally coming in? go ahead, bro. take a selfie.
you finally got that piercing you’ve been wanting? not really my style, but you’re fucking rocking it. take a selfie.
your boobs look awesome in that shirt? take a selfie.
you finally lose or gain that weight you’ve been working on? take a selfie.
your eyeliner look awesome? your new sunglasses make you look like a celebrity avoiding the paparazzi? you killing that tux? you feel a tiny, rare level of self love? you always on a high level of self love? you just like your face?
TAKE A MOTHAFUCKING SELFIE!
thanks for the question, anon. this one’s for you.

I think I missed out on the “neat and cute handwriting” gene that every girl seems to have and this is unfair
I am all about stories where the hero and villain know each other very well and were once friends, but I could deal with it being used another way.
What if instead of being used for drama, for wistfulness and pleas to join the other side, it was more…
“I guess your grades are more important to you than your morals are,” my English teacher spits out, lecturing our class about cheating that’s been going on in the school.
My classmates and I exchange glances. Well, yeah, we all seem to be thinking together. Isn’t that what they’ve been showing us since middle school?
and our mental and physical health.
remember when everybody was pissed at iron man 3 and pepper potts because they thought him destroying all his armors meant he’d never make armors again, and he did it all for her. when like. nah
but anyway. if he HAD just stopped making armors we wouldn’t be getting the supervillain Ultron. Look at your life, Tony. Listen to Pepper
I ran out of glitter last time I went into town. I like to carry glitter to shower people (the ones I know at least) in a sparkly shower of stupid when they come out with something shitty.
So the moral of this story is, I need to buy more glitter.
… I need to say something shitty around you.
Only once I’ve bought more glitter. I don’t do it at home either. Too hard to clean out of the carpet.
people say ‘I love you’ in a lot of different ways
‘eat something’
'buckle up’
'get some sleep’
'here have my fries’
'Im gonna draw you something’
“You’re a dork”
'Be safe’
'You can have the last slice’
'did you get home okay?’
this makes my insides warm