Ian McEwan, The Cement Garden (via erotec)
THIS. IS. SO. IM.POR.TANT. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(via sandyorschell)
neVER insult soul punk in front of me because patrick may put the i in lie but i will put the i in i will punch you in the damn face
one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there
I’m doing a persuasive speech and this would really help me out.
If you think animals should be adopted from shelters, reblog.
If you think animals should be bought from pet stores, like.
*REBLOGS FURIOUSLY*
ALSO they did a really good job of structuring it so Don Giovanni has this slow slide from “charming rake” into “full-blown amoral sociopath glutton” and then he’s dragged to hell on the table he invited the ghost to dine with him at
An episode of Supernatural where a lucky rabbit’s foot comes back into Dean’s possession and the entire day is full of him winning couple’s retreats and Cas accidentally falling on top of him and Sam just kind of
when you yell “puppy!” at a lil dog and they get happy and wag their lil tail like “yess!! i am a puppy!! a baby dog!!! thank you!!!!!!”
When you yell “puppy!!!!” At an old dog and they wag their tail and get all happy like “yes I am still a little dog thank you for noticing! !”
#every dog is puppy. all dog. no age limit on puppy. all are puppy. puppies.
when i say “friends come and go but fob is forever” i’m not even joking honestly. i’ve listened to fall out boy since middle school. they got me through middle school. like 2/3 of the friends i had in middle school? we went our separate ways. fall out boy? we’re in this together for the long haul
OK DID ANYONE ELSES SCHOOL SYSTEM DO THAT THING WHERE THE TEACHER GOES *clap clap clapclapclap* AND EVERYBODY DOES IT BC TODAY MY TEACHER DID THAT AND EVERYONE INSTINCTIVELY DID IT AND WE’RE FUCDING SOPHOMORES
My Costumer taught me his bitter song, and it is guaranteed to make you feel better, especially if sang with a group of people joining in. So I thought I’d share it for any of you who might need it
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
If you’re bitter and sadistic and about to go ballistic
If you’re bitter and you’re jaded clap your hands
Do not allow people to mispronounce your name.
Do not allow people to mispronounce your name.
policecodeforzombieontheloose:
So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager.
“Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?”
“Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team.”
“What team?”
And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.
And I thought he was gay
If you call yourself ugly you have no right to turn a guy down at all
for once someone using my art as a proper reaction to a mind numbingly stupid statement wow
You can have a gender preference and still be bisexual. You are still 100% bi. You are valid.
my brother told me that in the bathroom at monumentour someone yelled “fall out boy sucks” and another guy yelled “what the fuck did you just say” and they got in a real fist fight
i will defend the faith goin down swingin…
boys r so weak. boys r some pathetic shit. if u punch me in the boob my boob will still b able to sustain life for a new fuckin human. my boob can sustain the human race. if i kick u boys hard enough in the nuts u will never reproduce. ur genetic line is over bub. one well placed stiletto and u are getting shitty half-assed boners and no babies 4 life. who has the power son. who owns u. girls own u. i own u punk. sit down
when my friend told her drug dealer that she was transgender he immediately started using the correct pronouns for her and her parents dont so theres an issue there
when i have a crush on someone i can never tell if they have a mutual crush on me or if i’m just noticing and exaggerating every bit of attention i’m getting from them and amplifying it into something it’s not