Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
wait
Don’t get so angry about it, it’s all fun and games
… until someone loses their eyes
MYTHOLOGY PUNS <3
“if feminists want equality does this mean we can punch women now?”
go ahead chicken shit punch me in the fucking face. i will shove your entire upper body into your own ass and make you fuck yourself from the inside out
DEADPOOL WILL HAVE HIS OWN MOVIE
DEADPOOL WILL HAVE HIS OWN MOVIE
DEADPOOL WILL HAVE HIS OWN MOVIE
DEADPOOL WILL HAVE HIS OWN MOVIE
IN 2016 (x)
“[Deadpool] will actually have no connection to the one that was in Wolverine,” said Reynolds.
This could hopefully be all kinds of hillarious…:D
It’s amazing that people will see a kid yelled at or manhandled by a parent and say “It’s not my business, you can’t tell someone how to raise their kid” but if someone lets their son wear a dress it’s a public discussion.
no other song is “this generation’s bohemian rhapsody”
bohemian rhapsody is every generation’s bohemian rhapsody
I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”
Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”
id listen to you guys.
Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”
Oh my god
I’m already a fan. I want merch.
who ever said high school was the best 4 years of their life must have had a really fast metabolism and was probably really popular and had lots of friends and got good grades and did not have social anxiety
i just think its so adorable when boys do that thing with their hair where they have it all over their bodies but its actually fur and they have four legs and a wet nose and they’re puppies
constantly thinking “wow, i’ve really internalized some toxic shit”
- accept that no pun is actually Good, but that the true nature of a good pun is to be so terrible that it becomes good.
- say every pun that occurs to you. i’m so serious about this, sometimes the most well received puns will be ones you considered not saying.
- ALWAYS laugh at your own puns, even if nobody else is. (especially if nobody else is.)
- know that you are hilarious. puns are a limitless resource and you have taken it as your duty to bring this gift to humanity. you are a hero.
Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is okay. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.
I love the term “partners”.
Are we dating?
Are we robbing a bank?
Do we run a legal firm?
Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
Who knows.
82. steve and bucky make everyone marathon the lord of the rings and the hobbit movies. darcy goes around for days calling clint “legolas” and pretending to be gollum.
