I think that if voldemort really wanted to kill harry potter the night the spell didn’t work on him he could’ve just picked him up and thrown him out a window given the fact that he was a one year old infant
moment of silence for all the characters who had good character development potential but their writers were pieces of shit who were either incapable of fleshing them out or absolutely refused to
we Americans act really cocky and assholey about freedom to hide the fact that our government is crumbling and nobody is actually free so please give us this one day to be annoying about it
Kinda feel bad for poor Americans now. A bit like the asshole kid who you realise is only acting like that cuz their parents are cruel and neglectful.
Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.
“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, before I could say anything.
Remember that reddit post that was going around several months ago about the dude who wanted an open relationship with his girlfriend because he wanted to date “hotter” women than his fat girlfriend but then when she agreed she was dating…
many of my favourite hetero ships are basically the guy being totally in awe of his amazing warrior girlfriend like she could punch him in the face and he’d thank her
Remember that time a spy who was incredibly talented in seduction tried to drug Wash with her lipstick and he was just ‘haha no, spoken for’ and she had to club him over the head instead
john quincy adams was the first US president to grant a personal interview to a female reporter, and the only reason he allowed it was because the reporter (anne royall) caught him skinny dipping in the potomac, sat on his clothes, and refused to let him get dressed until he answered her questions and if you dont think that’s one of the coolest stories of early US society then idk what to tell you
FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS
Being southern is really funny cause were inherently fake as hell “bless your heart” is THE shadiest sentence in the entire lexicon of americanized english
i love women who aren’t hesitant to make the switch from cordial and sweet to real fucking bitchy in 2.5 secs I get so fucking excited like omg yes bitch turn it the fuck up!!!
ppl who are like “hm I think the last time I cried was like 2 years ago at my grandpas funeral” are surreal to me like they’re just on a different plane of existence that I cannot achieve like if I’m in the cafeteria and they don’t have cinnamon toast crunch that day I might/will start snifflin
there should be a two year period after high school where it is socially expected that kids not work or go to school or do anything but take road trips, read books, meet new people, and take lots of pictures
Can this actually be a thing
It’s called a gap year and its pretty normal in other countries except the US.
NONO NO NO NO SO I HAD CLASS WITH MY LIT TEACHER TODAY AND HIS LEFT ARM IS AMPUTATED FROM JUST BELOW THE ELBOW AND HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE PUTTING THE PAPERS ON HIS DESK INTO HIS BREIF CASE AT THE END OF THE CLASS AND I GO TO HIM AND SAY “YOU NEED A HAND?” AND ITS SILENT AND I JUST WHISPER OH NO AND HE STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY I WAS SO EMBARASSED
