Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
glasses are so stupid. u wanted to lie on ur side??? fuck off. u wanted a hot drink???? u can’t see shit now bc ur glasses are fogged up. go out in the rain???? tough luck shithead.
i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”
I have a dog.
I have coffee.
I have tumblr
HAHAHAHAHAH boys suck i want twelve
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.
think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries
finding fanfiction i haven’t read yet
“you still listen to fall out boy?”
Today this girl in class looked different because she had straightened her hair and I told her it was so pretty and straight and she goes “unlike me”. So me thinking that she has bad self esteem, I say “don’t say that. You’re pretty.” To which she replies “oh no, im pretty. I’m just not straight.” And I shit you not my stomach still hurts from laughing too hard.
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me
Dear followers,
have you eaten today?
did you take any meds you need?
how about hydration?
maybe a nap if you need one
you are awesome
keep it up
Help me prove a point
[anxiously hopes u consider me a friend]
tumblr has educated me on so many things and i can’t go on for a whole 5 minutes in real life without wanting to start a fight with someone
STOP SCROLLING
straighten your back, mate
NOW GO ON
woah thanks i really needed that today
tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time
FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME
PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever and I always need it omg
Reblog if school has ever caused you:
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Social anxietyShe doesn’t believe that this happens please help me show her it does and it’s an issue.
SOMETIMES I GET SO FUCKING ANGRY WHEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM A GIRL BECAUSE MY MONEY HAS TO GO TO BUYING BRAS FOR THESE STUPID ORGANIC MILK BAGS AND PADS FOR MONTHLY UNWANTED SUBSCRIPTION OF LUCIFER’S WATERFALL LIKE WTF MAN WHY DONT THESE THINGS COME FREE WHEN MY UNWANTED PACKAGE IS GIVEN TO ME SERIOUSLY THO
the US is unreal like girls cant wear shorts to school, you can literally lose your job for being gay, and unarmed black children are brutally murdered on the regular but old white ppl r still like “what a beautiful country. i can freely carry a gun for no reason and some of our mountains look like presidents. god bless”
why the fuck cant i have a best friend who lives 30 seconds away from me who always comes over and we just stay at each others houses whenever movies are so deceiving
College will be nice for you friend.
Rape isn’t about uncontrollable sexual desire. You only have to listen in on a Call of Duty game to see that. When that kid crows, “I raped you!”, he’s not calling the other guy sexy; he’s saying he defeated him, dominated him, humiliated him. That’s what rape is about, and that should scare you.
gonna reblog this till I stop tumbling
two robots who are girlfriends and one is super high tech and the other is kind of a cheap poorly made model and shes really self conscious compared to her shiny new state of the art girlfriend but the high tech girlfriend is like shhshhshh no baby ur adorable glitches and faulty parts and all
So basically lesbian wall.e?
#is it even 100%certain that wall.e is a guy anyway
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK YOU’RE HIRED
