Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
a puppy or kitten is a 15-year commitment. this holiday season, don’t give one as a gift unless you know the person is ready for that. don’t give them to children who are going to get tired of it when it gets bigger. too many animals end up in the pound in january.
none of your mythological faves were even remotely straight like welcome 2 the real world jackass hercules had a fuckton of anal sex
People believe what they choose to.
it’s literally not a matter of belief there is literally a vase with a painting of zeus fucking his cupbearer ganymede while ganymede is holding a dildo like u can’t just not believe in thousand year old pottery
O H MY GOD
i mean dude
2013 even looks like a shitty number to me and it was a shitty year
2014 looks so much more appealing to me.
2014 is going to be a good year, i can feel it.
no words can explain how wrong i was.
LITERALLY NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT 2015 Y’ALL ARE ON YOUR OWN
Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
SHOTS FIRED
- How bodies decompose
- Wilderness survival skills
- Mob mentality
- Other cultures
- What it takes for a human to die in a given situation
- Common tropes in your genre
- Average weather for your setting
yoooo
In starbucks taking photos of a guy taking creepshots of young college girls. It’s currently a standoff, because he realized what I’m doing and is paralyzed with indecision.
Update: I have told him he can put them on reddit if I can put him on tumblr. He’s turning red. People are staring. He’s showing me that he is deleting them.
A god among us mortals, tbh.
when my mom took care of babies my favorite story is about this toddler named eli who took a while to talk and everyone was concerned about it but one day my dad was like “eli, can you say ‘car’?” and he looks at my dad and goes “yes, i can. why do you ask?”
my ex boyfriend’s first word was “mother” - followed by “i’d like another bottle of milk please.” - kids who don’t talk until they can bust out a whole sentence are the fucking greatest.
So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”
and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.
vegan vampires.
“What is shipping?”
I’m laughing forever thanks Kakashi
Where’s that gif of Deadpool walking up to Spider-Man at comic con while he’s posing for pictures and just linking their fingers together?
this is pure gold
Fun fact: Kakashi and Deadpool are the same cosplayer
david-tennants-little-fangirl:
my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance
hahaha
i just read gay porn
Never stop reblogging this
plot twist: fat girls get the respect, representation, and clothing options they deserve
“cater to me because I’m fat”
TREAT ME LIKE A PERSON BECAUSE I’M A PERSON IS LITERALLY ALL I’M ASKING FOR. FAT PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE PEOPLE BECAUSE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WE’RE PEOPLE
when no one in class is ready for the test
it’s wild how america is basically a dystopia but we’re conditioned almost immediately upon starting school to believe that it’s not and that it’s the pinnacle of freedom
i mean, that in itself is kind of the hallmark of a dystopian nation
yeah.
Since Johanna Mason was the only living female victor of 7 for the Quell, I would like to think that when they called up “Ladies first” she just stomped over, grabbed the piece of paper herself and shouted “GEE I WONDER WHO THE FUCK IT COULD BE? HOLY FUCK BALLS IT’S ME I’M SO SHOCKED” and the Peacekeepers have to drag her away from the microphone
i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
That is exactly what happened.
There’s 15 days until 2015 and I still don’t understand how 10 years ago isn’t the 1990s.
In 15 days, 2030 will be as far away as 2000.
WHAT
WHAT THE HELL, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS.
Guys, if you can’t fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately try to push their shitty product on you?
Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if - instead of shoe cleaner - their product was DICK.
That’s a woman’s reality: a never-ending, thinly veiled penis infomercial. Moral reasons aside, you shouldn’t catcall simply because it doesn’t work. From an economic standpoint, dick is over-saturating the marketplace. Supply and demand. Too many guys are trying to supply dick. Droves of desperate dudes are drastically decreasing dick demand, detrimenting distribution.
Simply put: The Cock Market is an all time low.
The reason vagina is such a valuable commodity is because it’s harder to come by. You can’t just get it through a hole in the wall at a truck stop bathroom. You want your product to sell, you have to create a need.
In everyone’s best interest, gentlemen, treat your dicks like the McRib. Periodically take them off the market. Give consumers a chance to miss them and forget how gross they really are.
”—Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel)
I died ten times reading this.
(via absentlyabbie)
this is such a great way to explain it to guys who don’t get why women don’t want to say hello to them or get hostile when they do. THEY avoid the kiosk salesmen when they say, “Hello!” just as much. That sales person could just be friendly and might not go on about it, but you don’t know and you don’t want to chance it.
(via robotsandfrippary)
i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”
it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud
Everyone should watch Sky High for the sheer fact that there is a character whose mother is a superhero and father is a super villain and the kid’s name is Warren Peace.
Warren Peace, man.
He also looks like this, if that helps at all
This movie is ridiculously underrated and the fact that they didn’t get to make it a four-part series like they had planned is a tragedy
THEY PLANNED 3 OTHER MOVIES
WHY DIDNT THEY
WHAT??? WHY DIDN’T THEY MAKE MORE???
