Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
I WENT TO VISIT MY GRANDMA AT THE NURSING HOME AND THE LADY LITERALLY DOESN’T KNOW POOP FROM APPLESAUCE BUT SHE MUST HAVE REMEMBERED ME BRINGING SOMEONE TO CHRISTMAS BECAUSE SHE’S LIKE “SO HOW’S KALEB” (AKA MY GIRLFRIEND, KAYLA) AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “SHE’S DATING A GIRL AND HER NAME IS KAYLA, MOM”
WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT MY GRANDMA WAS LIKE “OH HOW LOVELY. I WAS A LESBIAN ONCE YOU KNOW.”
What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in?
…
WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO GIVE ME FEELS ABOUT PETUNIA MOTHERFREAKING DURSLEY??????
Stage 1: NOW KISS
Stage 2: NOW FUCK
Stage 3: NOW BREAK EACH OTHER’S HEARTS AND THEN MEND THEM SLOWLY WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER WITH REVERENT, TREMBLING HANDS
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE SAY DRUMMERS AND BASSISTS DONT MATTER
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A BEAUTIFUL BASS LINE?
EVER FELT A KICK DRUM IN YOUR CHEST?
I feel like this should be the opening to a pop punk version of colors of the wind
i just heard a blood curdling scream coming from my sisters room so i ran in there all worried and she looks up from her laptop and whispered, “i liked one of his photos from 2009”
this gets funnier as the years go by
Why do adults think “So what’s your major? Oh, and what are you going to do with that?” is acceptable small talk
What am I going to do with my degree? Hang it on the wall and cry, probably
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the frick
IT SHOCKS NO ONE THAT AN ISLAND COSTS LESS THAN A COLLEGE EDUCATION IN AMERICA
was trying to speak german today.
accidentally used several spanish words.
proceeded to curse.
in french.
whoops.
Someone once asked me if I spoke Chinese, in German, and I responded Sí un poco.
shout out to all of you for getting confused over the different languages you speak while I’m only kind of sure of where to put commas
HOW TO CHEER UP IN 2 EASY STEPS
- WHISPER “BEEP BOOP” TO YOURSELF.
- REPEAT UNTIL NOT SAD.
((BUT WHY DOES THIS WORK??????))
1. plug your nose
2. say sneep snoptry saying ‘boopedeedoop’ in a really deep, manly voice
Try and say bubbles in the angriest voice you can
the last one will work I promise you
- Get some cheap dishes and break them when you get upset.
- Learn how to say “NO” and don’t feel guilty about it
- Buy something frivolous for yourself once in awhile, like a new hat.
- Never again do anything you don’t want to do.
that’s damn good advice
No, I’m serious, if women all got together and went into electrical engineering or automotive repair en masse, then ten years later people would be talking about how it was a “soft field” and it would pay proportionately less than other fields.
Likewise, if men moved en masse…
James Potter would have been so in awe of Ginny Weasley
when people say “i dont believe in science”
what are you even talking about
I can’t honestly be the only one who gets really disappointed if their calendar picture for the month of their birthday is rubbish, right?
i have been waiting for this post my whole life
“no man will consider you an equal.”
that’s true. peggy carter is not your equal, she’s your superior.
You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.
100%
200%
What is a black tumblr?
Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.”
“How much money does college cost in America?”
