In the course of my rewatch-all-5-seasons-of-Leverage binge over the past few months, I’ve realized that my favorite long-running gag is Eliot choosing the wrong thing to get mad about.
Sophie accuses him of sleeping around with waitresses and stewardesses? “FIRST OF ALL, THEY’RE CALLED FLIGHT ATTENDANTS”
Hardison denies stealing Eliot’s sandwich and says “you probably ate it yourself and forgot about it?” “OH, MY SANDWICH IS FORGETTABLE????“ [launches into insanely detailed cooking techniques of what, to be fair, does sound like a bonkers delicious sandwich]
Hardison announces that he’s bought a brewery in Portland where they can hide out slash take cases slash brew their own beer? Everyone else is like “why the eff did we have to move to this new town with no warning” and Eliot is LIVID that Hardison is underestimating how hard food and beer pairings are. “THE BREWPUB MENU IS THE HARDEST KIND OF MENU TO DESIGN!”
I literally never get tired of it. I could watch Christian Kane get offended at implausibly bizarre perceived insults ALL DAY.
You know what though, like, to me what’s glorious about Elliot is that, to me, he’s always choosing the RIGHT thing to get mad about.
1) ignoring the sex shaming because he’s not gonna dignify that with a response but standing up for how the women choose to identify themselves.
2) attacking the most obvious lie because it has been established that Hardison appreciates the Elliot!food (a squeeze of lemon) and how dare Hardison not only lie so obviously but also choose to call into question all of Hardison’s appreciation of what Elliot had made in the past. I mean he might as well have called Elliot himself forgettable, which is a LOW BLOW, especially for a man who recognizes and makes an attempt to remember what makes things distinct.
3) Everyone else is being upset that the team is together (in a new location) but Elliot has already accepted that the team is together. And is going to be in it, for better or worse.
In sickness and in health; and through bad beer and difficult to pair foods.
‘Til his dying day.
(But that doesn’t mean he’d not gonna have old-married-couple fights about the details.)
I’m laughing my head off. “There should have been a warning.”
The warning is that it’s a retelling of the fucking Illiad. Honest to God, a story involving one of the most famous same-sex love affairs in the history of literature and there should have been a warning?
“Leonard Nimoy, who played the most famous TV scientist of all time, Mr. Spock, came from an arts and theater background and in real life is nothing like his character. Yet he told me that because Mr. Spock and “Star Trek” have inspired so many young viewers to become scientists, researchers who meet him are always desperate to give him lab tours and explain the projects they’re pursuing in peer-to-peer terms. Mr. Nimoy nods sagely and intones to each one, ‘Well, it certainly looks like you’re headed in the right direction.’”—NYT (via gq)
oh my GOD so i was talking to a buddy in psychology and then this kid came in who looked exactly like him and gave him a book he’d forgotten at home
and i went “holy shit you have a twin?!?” and he was like “yeah! his name is jason!” and i was like “????? i thought YOUR name was jason”
long story short i have one of them in my math class and another in my psychology class and i’ve developed a friendship with both of them but i thought they were the same person this entire time
remember this post? not-jason is refusing to tell me his name and everyone’s keeping it from me so i’m just calling him not-jason
the whole “why do girls travel in packs when they go to the bathroom lol” joke gets a lot less funny when you realize that it’s because we’ve had it etched and engraved into our minds since our parents first started dropping us off at the movies or at the mall that we absolutely always need to stick together with our girlfriends no matter what, even when we go to the bathroom, because the bigger the group we were in, the smaller the chances were of us being harassed or abducted by creepy older men in public.
I’ve started to think about this a lot. Like I think it’s almost instinctual for girls to go to the bathroom together for SAFETY. Not because we’re “silly girls lol”
so I work at a library now and during training we were shown each section and how they’re organized bluh bluh normal stuff, until we got to the 680s and my boss sighed at this shelf nearly busting from the weight of a shit ton of yarn books. now you may be wondering “how much is a shit ton of yarn books exactly max???” well let’s just say it’s about 2 shelves worth crammed onto one.
so when we got to this area my supervisor looked at us new pages and said in the most serious voice, “if anyone EVER gives you book donations never EVER accept donations of yarn books. EVER.” and we all laughed but deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew that was not a joke.
fast forward to a month later (today) and my shift starts pretty normally, I’m casually chatting with my co worker about video games and sorting books in the workroom when this couple walk into our workroom with big boxes saying they wanted to donate some books. so my coworker nods and says something about just leaving them there and he’ll grab our manager. so they put down these boxes and leave. so my manager comes along exclaiming how nice it is to get such a big donation and so she walks to the boxes, opens them, and starts shouting “JAMES GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW JAMES IT HAPPENED AGAIN” and so now I’m interested and I walk over and it just looks like boxes filled to the brim with books until I see the books all had library stickers on them and all have the numbers 680. so james comes running over and sees them and drops to his knees and starts shaking his head.
so then we got the details. apparently all libraries in my city all have too many yarn books and since you can technically check out a book and return it to any library and they’ll just shelve it there, all libraries just try and get rid of the books by tricking other libraries into taking them in. ways of this happening is staff from one library checking out the maximum amount they can of yarn books and dropping books around another library, or just viciously shoving these books through our returns, and now this, and apparently it’s a full out war with war maps and planning sheets written inside these yarn books. so please for the love of god never donate yarn books to your local library
If anyone ever complains about celebrity culture today, or despairs at how we’re all obsessed with actors, just hit them with some facts about acting in Imperial Rome:
Romans were obsessed with actors called pantomimes, masked, silent dancers who told stories through movement, not unlike our modern ballet dancers. You might not think that sounds exciting, but people went apeshit over them.
Seriously. People formed fan clubs for their favourite pantomimes. There is an inscription on a wall in Pompeii that gives endorsement to a political candidate from the Paridiani - the fan club of the pantomime Paris. The Paridiani were like the ancient equivalent of our Hiddlestoners and Cumberbitches.
These fan clubs could get really, really violent. They formed factions that would sit together at the theatre, and brawls often broke out as they fought over their favourites. (For some reason, riots hardly ever occurred at the amphitheatre, where people were getting murdered and torn apart by beasts, but at the theatre, where they were watching ballet dancers of all things, riots broke out all the time. Unbelievable.)
In 14 CE the populace rioted when one of the pantomime actors hired
for the Augustalia refused to perform unless his pay was
increased; the tribunes had to request an emergency meeting of the
Senate so they could beg for more money before the people tore them apart. (Dio
56.47.2).
I cannot overstate how serious some of these theatre riots were. In Tiberius’ reign, it is believed that the rivalry between the pantomime fan clubs was the biggest threat to law and order in the city of Rome. They were so bad they required Senate intervention. Actors
were targeted and punished for inflammatory behaviour, expenditure on
entertainment was slashed, and the crowd was brought to heel by threats of exile for
disorderly conduct. They were threatened with exile to stop the fighting. Suddenly the Cumberbitches don’t seem so bad.
Sometimes the rioting and the licentious behaviour of the actors meant that emperors would banish entire theatre troupes from the city of Rome, or from Italy itself, to keep order.
The rivalry between the actors themselves was no less intense. At one
performance, the pantomime Pylades heckled his rival (and former pupil)
Hylas, who was playing Blinded Oedipus, by calling out “You’re seeing!”
In another story, Pylades was playing Insane Hercules when
the spectators heckled him for using inappropriate gestures. Pylades
ripped off his mask and yelled, “Fools! I am playing a madman!” and tried to fight the audience. (Macrob
Sat. 2.7.15-17.)
This same Pylades (he got around a lot) also shot
actual poisoned arrows into the audience when he was playing Hercules.
Similarly, the tragic actor Aesopus (not a pantomime) is said to have gotten so into his role as the villain Atreus that he actually killed one of the servants crossing the stage.
Emperor Caligula was so passionate about acting that when a clap of thunder interrupted the performance of his
favourite pantomimes, he tried to fight the sky. Seneca says: “Emperor
Caligula was angry with heaven because it kept drowning out
his pantomime actors… and when his revelry was terrified by lightning
bolts (which must have fallen short of their mark!) he called on Jupiter
for a fight to the death, exclaiming the Homeric verse: “Either lift me
up, or I will lift you!” (De Ira, 1.20.8).
Many emperors and aristocrats had pantomimes as boyfriends (Maecenas, Caligula, Nero, etc.) Those chosen as imperial consorts were the best of the best; it would be like monarchs or presidents today taking Oscar winners as their lovers. Tom Hanks and Vladimir Putin, anyone?
Certain emperors became so caught up in the celebrity and entertainment-fuelled culture of Imperial Rome that they started acting themselves (something that was hugely degrading for any freeborn person, but especially an aristocrat or an emperor to do). Caligula was assassinated when he was on his way to the theatre, to prevent him from making his public debut as an actor. The famous Nero often performed and acted in tragedies, weirdly enough, while wearing masks fashioned after his own face, or (if he were playing a woman’s role) after the face of his dead wife Poppaea, whom he kicked to death. Nero was so into performing that he forced people to stay and watch him, and there are (probably exaggerated) stories of women giving birth and men shamming death so they could escape because no one was allowed to leave. (Could you even imagine Barack Obama starring in Broadway shows? Or Queen Elizabeth spending her nights playing Lady Macbeth at the Globe? Incredible.)
People complain today about girls being obsessed with actors, but it was the same in Rome. Juvenal says: “When nancy-boy Bathyllus is dancing the Leda pantomime, Tuccia wets herself. Apula whimpers, just as if she were in a man’s embrace, drawn-out and with sudden anguish.” (Satires, 6.63-5). I need a cold shower.
Another, humorous description of female infatuation with actors: “Some women burn for sordid folks and cannot rouse desire
unless they see either slaves or servants in short tunics. The arena ignites
some, or a mule-driver flooded with dust, or an actor made low by exhibiting
himself on stage. My mistress is one of these; she jumps all the way from the
orchestra and the first fourteen rows and with the plebs in the upper seats seeks
what she loves. (Petronius, Satyricon, 126).
Empresses were not immune either, and pantomimes were involved in sex scandals at the highest level. The Empress Messalina forcibly seduced Mnester; the Empress Domitia Longina seduced Paris. (Both of the actors were executed.)
And that doesn’t even scratch the surface!
In conclusion, if you think our modern obsession with celebrities or the tendency for teenage girls to obsess over actors is in any way new, think again. This has been happening since the years BC. It happened in Greece, it happened in Rome, it happened in Shakespeare’s time. At every point in history, people have been obsessed with actors and celebrities. Just be grateful we don’t have to watch our world leaders acting anymore.
Me: Wow!!! There are so many great fics written for Darcy, who is the main character in a lot of them! Now I want to read about the other strong female characters in the MCU! Like Helen Cho, who is super smart and amazing and nearly died trying to stop Ultron and is actually the reason why Vision exists in the first place!!!
Me: …what?
I’m sorry but i feel like to say something. First of all , showing hate to another female is not bring any help.
2. It’s not about race but about the occupation of the character you want to write about. It’s really difficult to write about canon character in science , the writers might turn them into OOC or they won’t feel good enough with the lack of sophisticated knowledge.
3.There’s lots of Darcy fic cause this fandom has been together for a long time since maybe 2011 and people stick together. Also, some writers prefer to write funny/outgoing character with so much sass and no canon story/background. The writers will not get criticized for writing too much girly/funny/whiny character in doing canon char.
4. For the newcomers , they want to have a try writing , they will write Darcy first cause it’s easy and then they start with other canon characters later.
5. In fandom world, there’s lots of misogyny and prejudice to women already. We should stand together and help each other. I think we should try making suggestion/comment in a good way until someone get interested.
I still hope you or someone will start writing fic about Marvel women. I’ve been waiting for a long time too. I’m sorry for my broken English, i’m not protecting anyone. I just think women should help each other in such a men-dominated world like this.
Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look alike contest to a fucking drag queen.
Charlie Chaplin once failed to even place at a Charlie Chaplin impersonator contest.
Hugh Jackman went to comic con as Wolverine, only 2 people noticed him and one told him he was too tall.
Christopher
Reeve use to go to a restaurant in costume when filming Superman. When
he went in the Superman costume he was mobbed by people all the time.
When he went in the Clark Kent costume no one realized he was
Christopher Reeve.
Ben Carson is such a great example of how the concept of raw intelligence doesn’t exist, and that people can have wildly varying types of intelligence. This man is the best brain surgeon in America. Possibly the world. He invented a new way to treat seizures. He separated conjoined twins in a surgery that everyone else said was impossible. And he thinks going to prison makes you gay. He thinks the pyramids were grain silos built by the biblical Joseph.
So maybe you suck at something because in one area you’re Ben Carson The Politician but in another area you might be Ben Carson The Neurosurgeon.
I just had the most invigorating conversation during the break in my class when all the dudes left the room and it became just a round table of women talking about ernest hemingway
“im so tired of being compared to the SEA”
“do you ever think his creative process was just whipping out his dick and sadly slapping it against a typewriter”
Not over the fact that Melissa Rosenberg, who wrote Jessica Jones, was the screenwriter for all the Twilight movies. Killgrave is the deconstruction and brutal condemnation of characters like Edward Cullen: powerful men with a dark past who fixate on the heroine, deeming her exceptional, stalking and controlling her and calling it love – men who claim to know the heroine, know what’s good for her, better than she knows herself.
Guess we know what she really thought of Edward now, ha.
oh my god ok, you guys, so @blackdogrunning and i were talking about rpf and crackfic, and something amazing has occurred to us, which is this:
even before team leverage was team leverage, they were all (save nate) pretty well known, in certain parts of the population, for doing what they do. but you know what happens with any group of well-known people?
THAT IS CORRECT, FRIENDS, IT IS FANDOM. consider the way that mattingly says, ‘wait, the parker?’ and his face is like holy shit this is all my guilty spank bank fantasies come to life. somewhere in the leverage universe, in some weird corner of the internet (lbr prob on ao3) there lives rpf crime fandom. it pops up every yuletide and normal people who aren’t criminals are never sure if it’s, like, rpf, or if there was an unaired pilot for something that didn’t get picked up, or what, but there it is, every year!
so starting even before team leverage gets together, we’ve got, like:
infinite fic about sophie’s backstory, none of which is anywhere close to the truth, all of which she reads, some of which she uses to create new personas, none of which she will ever admit to
(it’s still kinda flattering tho)
there’s a part of fandom that’s convinced that she’s the descendant of the grand duchess anastasia and the government is after her, and that’s *very* flattering, even though it’s obviously ridiculous
there’s another theory going around that she’s actually twins, or triplets, because surely no single person could–
shippy fic about hardison and cha0s. and hardison KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN because he knows how the internet works, ok, and it makes him kinda crazy because that dude is the WORST and he would never do THAT, and certainly not in the weirdly domestic way that some of these fics suggest
# LEVERAGE # ELIOT SPENCER # ALEC HARDISON # PARKER # SOPHIE DEVEREAUX # LIKE I’M NOT EVEN SORRY ABOUT THIS # WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR LIKE THREE HOURS # AND WE’RE STILL FUCKING GOING # APPARENTLY WE’RE GOING TO DIE IN THIS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS BIN # SO I HOPE THAT EVERYONE IS COOL WITH ME REBLOGGING MY OWN SHIT SO I CAN ADD TO IT # BECAUSE THIS IS ENDLESSLY HILARIOUS TO ME # LIKE ENDLESSLY # E N D L E S S L Y # THINK OF THE SWEET SUMMER CHILDREN WHO READ THE YULETIDE FIC AND WERE LIKE WOW THAT WAS GREAT # AND THEN SUDDENLY ARE NECK DEEP IN WEIRD CRIME FANDOM # AND THEIR ONGOING FRUSTRATION THAT THEY CAN’T FIND THE SOURCE ANYWHERE # LIKE WHAT # IS IT REGION LOCKED # IS IT ONLY AVAILABLE ON VHS IN CZECH # WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE # SORRY THAT I’M BASICALLY THE WORST Y'ALL - @bydaybreak
au where everyone is born with a very unique tattoo on their ankle, nobody else in the world has that tattoo.
every time you fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears somewhere else on your body. (not necessarily soulmates, just who you fall in love with.)
imagine people who fall in love easily having their bodies completely covered in tattoos.
aromantics who only have their own ankle tattoo on their body.
people who have love affairs having to cover up the other secret tattoo from their spouse/partner.
a new tattoo appearing on a celebrity’s body in new photos and a very lucky fan (who had recently met the celebrity) realizing that it’s their tattoo.
elderly ladies sitting around tables in nursing homes telling the story behind each of their tattoos.
kindergartners who giggle as they look at their own ankle tattoos together and dream about the future tattoos they’ll have when they’re all grown up.
people trying their best to deface tattoos of ex-lovers who broke their hearts, but they can never go away.
just think about this, guys.
ok but when u realize you have your partners tattoo and yours never shows up on them
Why do you want me to do sad things? WHY? Also, I dislike that these marks are just for romantic love. Why can’t you have one on each ankle, one for romance and one for platonic love?
- Imagine aromantics who one day see their romantic mark on someone, pulling them aside and explaining that they’ll never reciprocate that way. Imagine them becoming friends and the joy they both feel when the romantic mark slowly becomes platonic.
- Imagine a child learning about marks in school and going home to ask to see their platonic marks on their parents. Except only one parent has a mark…
- Imagine obsessive love, dangerous love, making the mark on a person’s skin twist a little, go jagged and smeared.
- Imagine moments of intense love making the mark glow.
- Imagine a couple where one person suddenly develops a new mark they won’t discuss, making the other confused and suspicious… until they reveal that they’re pregnant.
- Imagine that reincarnation exists, and that’s the only way a mark can be duplicated perfectly. People looking at paintings and sculptures and wondering if someday an archeologist will discover a depiction of their mark.
if your stomach’s sensitive because of anxiety, by all means spread out the food you eat over the course of the day instead of having large meals, just don’t…not eat. you will go into hypoglycemic shock and that will suck.
By the way, symptoms include:
Shakiness.
Nervousness or anxiety.
Sweating, chills and clamminess.
Irritability or impatience.
Confusion, including delirium.
Rapid/fast heartbeat.
Lightheadedness or dizziness.
Hunger and nausea.
(because of the nausea, eating might not feel like the thing to do at first. I’d suggest drinking a coke or something.)
I’ve dealt with sugar crashes before and I’ve collapsed and whited out. I’ve had friends do it too. If you think you’re going into hypoglycemic shock, and if there’s anyone else near by, tell them you think it’s happening, even if you’re not prone or it’s never happened before. If your’e alone, make your way slowly to the kitchen/wherever you have food/drinks. The standard rule is to take in 15 oz of a sugary drink (orange juice and soda–not diet–are the best) and wait 15 minutes to see if it’s over, then keep doing that until your sugar is stabilized. Then you can eat. If you think you’re about to collapse, especially if you start to feel dizzy, sit down and lay down or lean against something. Don’t risk injury, it’s better to pass out while you’re laying down than it is to collapse and hurt yourself.
luke cage is a freaking dreamboat and here are ten reasons why:
says cute things like “sweet christmas”
flirts with girls at his bar. can you imagine getting flirted with by luke cage? having him lean over and say something really sweet and sincere? i would tip him like 200% without thinking about it
likes dogs
is genuinely offended by the idea that he might hurt dogs
shows jessica his powers by putting a buzz saw to his sexy abs? lol luke ilu ur such a show off
obeys traffic laws
a lothario with the ladies but has a code of honour (no cheating!)
when he breaks something important (ie; a bed) he actually goes out and buy a new one right away and i admire that tenacity
knows how to admit when he is wrong
does not yell at drunks even when they throw up on his shoes
I know I run a book blog so maybe this isn’t the right platform for this, but girls: Please look out for other girls. Tonight I was stuck at a bus stop in Shoreditch circa 2 AM and saw another young woman getting harassed by a drunk, aggressive dude, and at first I thought, “She’s got it under control.” But then he started touching her and I went “No, that’s definitely not right.” So I barged over and shoved him out of the way and said, “Beth?? Oh my God, how are you, I haven’t seen you since grade school!” And this girl I’d never seen before in my life threw her arms around my neck and whispered, “You are an angel, thank God.” We talked for fifteen minutes, the creep lost interest, I watched her get on the bus and I will sleep so much better knowing she got home in one piece. If you see something weird happening, intervene. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, and I think that’s worth the risk when you consider the alternative.
In your opinion, does the Harry Potter series have literary merits?
Absolutely. Setting aside the obvious fact that it got a whole generation of kids reading and made intellectualism cool to them and gave young girls positive female role models while also gently introducing them to the idea that the world isn’t black and white, studies have also shown that kids who grew up reading Harry Potter are more tolerant and compassionate individuals. JKR used things like house elves and werewolves and giants and Death Eaters to show kids why discrimination and bigotry are fucked up. Hell yeah. HP has so much merit. Honestly like how you could argue that it doesn’t, I have no idea.
