Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

noctuatacita:

startedwellthatsentence:

tvalkyrie:

breadpocalypse:

ilovejohnmurphy:

furryputin:

ilovejohnmurphy:

corntroversy:

ilovejohnmurphy:

is “chai” a TYPE of tea??! bc in Hindi/Urdu, the word chai just means tea

its like spicy cinnamon tea instead of bland gross black tea

I think the chai that me and all other Muslims that I know drink is just black tea

i mean i always thought chai was just another word for tea?? in russian chai is tea

why don’t white people just say tea

do they mean it’s that spicy cinnamon tea

why don’t they just call it “spicy cinnamon tea”

the spicy cinnamon one is actually masala chai specifically so like

there’s literally no reason to just say chai or chai 

They don’t know better. To them “chai tea” IS that specific kind of like, creamy cinnamony tea. They think “chai” is an adjective describing “tea”.

What English sometimes does when it encounters words in other languages that it already has a word for is to use that word to refer to a specific type of that thing. It’s like distinguishing between what English speakers consider the prototype of the word in English from what we consider non-prototypical.

(Sidenote: prototype theory means that people think of the most prototypical instances of a thing before they think of weirder types. For example: list four kinds of birds to yourself right now. You probably started with local songbirds, which for me is robins, blue birds, cardinals, starlings. If I had you list three more, you might say pigeons or eagles or falcons. It would probably take you a while to get to penguins and emus and ducks, even though those are all birds too. A duck or a penguin, however, is not a prototypical bird.)

“Chai” means tea in Hindi-Urdu, but “chai tea” in English means “tea prepared like masala chai” because it’s useful to have a word to distinguish “the kind of tea we make here” from “the kind of tea they make somewhere else”.

“Naan” may mean bread, but “naan bread” means specifically “bread prepared like this” because it’s useful to have a word to distinguish between “bread made how we make it” and “bread how other people make it”.

We also sometimes say “liege lord” when talking about feudal homage, even though “liege” is just “lord” in French, or “flower blossom” to describe the part of the flower that opens, even though when “flower” was borrowed from French it meant the same thing as blossom. 

We also do this with place names: “brea” means tar in Spanish, but when we came across a place where Spanish-speakers were like “there’s tar here”, we took that and said “Okay, here’s the La Brea tar pits”.

 Or “Sahara”. Sahara already meant “giant desert,” but we call it the Sahara desert to distinguish it from other giant deserts, like the Gobi desert (Gobi also means desert btw).

English doesn’t seem to be the only language that does this for places: this page has Spanish, Icelandic, Indonesian, and other languages doing it too.

Languages tend to use a lot of repetition to make sure that things are clear. English says “John walks”, and the -s on walks means “one person is doing this” even though we know “John” is one person. Spanish puts tense markers on every instance of a verb in a sentence, even when it’s abundantly clear that they all have the same tense (”ayer [yo] caminé por el parque y jugué tenis” even though “ayer” means yesterday and “yo” means I and the -é means “I in the past”). English apparently also likes to use semantic repetition, so that people know that “chai” is a type of tea and “naan” is a type of bread and “Sahara” is a desert. (I could also totally see someone labeling something, for instance, pan dulce sweetbread, even though “pan dulce” means “sweet bread”.)

Also, specifically with the chai/tea thing, many languages either use the Malay root and end up with a word that sounds like “tea” (like té in Spanish), or they use the Mandarin root and end up with a word that sounds like “chai” (like cha in Portuguese).

Every language does this! It’s called semantic narrowing (the process is, anyway). Here’s a post where @linguisten explained it. :)

marypsue:

Man, I want queer fairytales too, but what I really want is for them to follow traditional fairytale tropes and structures while they do it. I want rules of threes and true names and quest stories and impossible tasks and disguises and riddles, I want blood and death and happy endings. I want more stories in the shape of oral folk tales, but with queer people in. Modern reimaginings where ‘and the prince was really a princess’ is a solution to the problem of the narrative are great, but I’d like to see more where it’s an uncommented-upon fact that there are queer people in this fairy tale, but the tale has other, very traditional problems (the princess won’t laugh, the cow has gone dry, the bridegroom intends to murder and eat the bride) that they need to solve by being kind and clever and brave and a little bit rebellious, as well as whatever their identity may be.

kasadilla11:

arudetrans:

aqeu:

@ bernie supporters: if hillary wins the primaries, vote for hillary.

@ hillary supporters: if bernie wins the primaries, vote for bernie.

either of them are so much better than anyone on the republican side and don’t refuse to vote just because your fav didn’t win

Literally

THIS. 

This is how Trump could win, not because he has the most supporters, but because he has enough supporters if his detractors don’t vote. Don’t let him win. VOTE. Even if your favored candidate doesn’t make it past the primaries, VOTE and keep Trump out. 

Unless you’re a Trump supporter. Then I want you to take a good, hard look at your life choices. And get some therapy. 

revolutionary-tonaka:

knightsolaireofthesun:

roachpatrol:

roachpatrol:

kenaabik:

So I see this

and all I can think is 

this

oh my god this got so many notes

Eat shit, Ra

Why am I laughing???????

fatgirlopinions:

allshallknowthewondr:

fatgirlopinions:

some of my biggest insecurities only became insecurities after my mother pointed them out to me and turned my characteristics into flaws.
parents, fucking watch what you say to your kids. 

I know this post is meant for women, but this.

This post is for everyone actually, no worries. Boys and other genders can definitely experience what I’m talking about in my op.

kushandwizdom:

feminismandhappiness:

flickerman:

i wish there wasn’t such a stigma around being proved wrong, bc it’s a part of life, no one can be right all the time. if we didn’t feel as much shame about it i think a lot of things would change a lot faster

we all need to practice saying “I hadn’t thought of it like that” “I hadn’t seen it that way before” “I must have misunderstood the first time I heard about it” “if I had known those facts I wouldn’t have thought like I did”

I need to learn this 🙈

cultural-hoxhaist:

goodie-badwife:

audible-smiles:

lipatti:

am i the only person not affected by generalized positivity… like post it notes in bathrooms that say ‘you’re beautiful’ or posts that are like ‘smile! you are a beautiful sunshine flower!’ i’m just like … okay…

I just heard a psychologist (Guy Winch) say that the people that positive affirmations help most are actually the people who have high or at least normal self-esteem. They really do cheer those people up!

But for the rest of us they run so counter to our general worldview (we’re fundamentally bad and deserve nothing) that our brain rejects them immediately as lies and uses that moment to remind us of how terrible and abnormal we actually are.

What usually works for people with low self-esteem is stuff like writing out a list of very specific things we know we’re good at, and revisiting it every day to write a paragraph elaborating on one of those things (i.e. “I’m a compassionate person and here are five examples”) to try to set our brain on a different track long term.

That makes so much sense.

the psychology behind the “ok that sounds fake but ok” meme 

pipistrellus:

ryanvoid:

i adore how much Dirty Millennial Writers focus on found family as a central theme. we love it so much! we all just wanna move in together in a big house with all of our friends and marry everyone, and i think that’s nice

ia we’re all super dysfunctional organisms and we all want to come together to form one MUCH LARGER dysfunctional macroorganism and i think its a very noble ambition

lovefreeanddiehard:

This is truly a historic year. We’re either going to elect a woman, a Jew, the Zodiac Killer, or the start of the Fourth Reich.

daisyridly:

listen. there’s nothing “boring” about ships that are stable and built on mutual trust and respect. there can be angst and drama and all those juicy bits without the characters being absolutely abysmal to each other all the damn time

queenriver:

fun fact: if you text a landline, it’ll call the landline in a robot voice and read the text

less fun: our intern was locked out this morning and didn’t realize the number she had for the other assistant was a landline so she texted it because she was locked out so at 9:30 this morning our phone rang with a robot voice loudly saying PLEASE LET ME IN before hanging up

owlmylove:

if you were praised for being smart as a child and now feel crippling sensations of inadequacy when you don’t instantly know how to do something perfectly clap your hands

cptndorito:

one of the many things I super love about Deadpool is that they treat negasonic teenage warhead like a teenager, sure she has awesome as fuck superpowers but she doesn’t have any sort of romantic hints, she isn’t irresponsible with her powers, she has a guardian with her when she does her (awesome) dangerous shit, she is most definitly not treated like a child, but she is also not treated like an adult, she has a responsible guardian with her when necessary who even tries to feed her protein bars, I think that hollywood tends to forget that there is an in between stage, that teenagers do exist and need to be represented as something other than unrealistically mature or unrealistically immature 

dubiousculturalartifact:

knitmeapony:

internbucky:

i want a nick fury movie tbh

like

i want a movie of nick fury & maria hill hunting down the scattered hydra cells and completely fucking up their shit

God I want this

And I want it as a straight up road trip movie as they take out Hydra in the US.

I want all or all but the final battle scenes to be off-screen.

I want them to consist of Nick listening in on a headset while muffled screams and weapons fire is heard, while he eats a nice sandwich and smiles to himself about how he told those assholes not to cross Maria.

I want another one to consist of them being held up at gunpoint, and I want Nick to say “would you like to?” and Maria gesturing with her hands still up, saying “no no, sir, I know you’ve been wanting to all day,” and he nods and she drops to the floor to get out of the way of gunfire, a filing cabinet crashes to the ground next to her, and she pries it open to sift through the intel while the shadow of bodies flying through the air cross over the paperwork as she reads.

I want them to become a regular at a diner at the geographical center of the country, where they tend to come and regroup and get some rest.  And there should be a salt-of-the-earth waitress there with a midwestern accent who flirts with them both and knows how they like their eggs and coffee.  I want Nick to tell more stories about his badass Grandfather and I want more backstory about him in general.

I want them to trade off between Maria’s vehicle of choice – a black SUV that, while somewhat obvious, basically has 99% of available SHIELD tactical gear neatly stowed in the back, and Nick’s vehicle of choice – a sedan from the early 80s that makes up in sheer stopping power what it lacks in style.  Scenes of them cruising through the night with extremely classy music playing low on the radio.

I want them staying off the radar in cash-only motels, sharing a bottle of whiskey while they stitch up and plan their next move.

I want them dressed to the nines in an extremely expensive hotel – I want Nick in a straight-up tuxedo – when it’s time to infiltrate and get a high level operative out of the US government.

I want them to talk shit about the Avengers, but low-key.  Except for Natasha.  They both agree Natasha suffers fools about as well as they do.

… maybe what I really want is a Nick Fury TV series.   Hm.

also Melinda May ditches Agents of SHIELD because they don’t appreciate her, and joins this roadtrip, yes/yes?

organasrey:

organasrey:

organasrey:

leia ‘aren’t you a little short’ organa totally takes after her father anakin ‘shorter than i expected’ skywalker

luke ‘theres still light in him’ skywalker totally takes after his mother padme ‘theres still good in him’ amidala 

honestly people try to make out that luke is like anakin and leia is like padme. but tbh watching the movies it seems like its completely the other way round

isohels:

truffledmadness:

orphanspace:

isohels:

My tummy doesn’t have to be cute. It holds my internal organs.
My thighs don’t have to “crush men’s skulls”. I use them to carry myself.
My stretch marks don’t have to be tiger stripes I earned. They came when I grew.

Stop.

feeling this

This!

I feel like even body positivity is too focused on, like, the appearance of the body. I know I became a whole lot happier with my body when I started thinking of it less in terms of how it looked (to me or anyone else) and realized, that, like…

When I feel cool breeze on my skin on a really hot day, my body did that for me.

When I step into a bath after a hike, and my muscles ache, but in a good way, and the steam all around me makes me feel like a flower blooming, my body did that for me.

And the hike before it, and standing on a large rock breathing the raw winter air seeing the power of the half-frozen river. That too.

When I’ve had a plate of pasta puttanesca, and I chopped and sauteed the ingredients and now I’m full-but-not-uncomfortable, and warm all over, and perfectly content, my body did that for me.

My body doesn’t have to look awesome to be awesome. It’s awesome because it’s where I live.

Best comment.

lupinatic:

affirm-ace-ions:

asexual-sorey:

dendrago:

Pros of ace friends:

“Netflix and chill” actually means watching a show and relaxing.

What is the other meaning?? Isn’t it supposed to actually mean watching a show and relaxing?

Apparently it’s supposed to mean “pretend like you’re inviting someone over for movies but it’s actually for sex.” So I’m definitely in the too asexual for this meme club.

-Mod Talie

Cons of being the ace friend:

You’re the only one who thinks ‘netflix and chill’ actually means watching a show and relaxing, and issuing invitations for such to others gets really awkward.

Fun story.  I’m not ace, but I AM oblivious, so I bounded up to my roommate/friend a few months back when Netflix and chill was first a THING and I was like “Hey, bro, buddy, comrade, you want to hide in the dorm room tonight and watch Netflix and chill?”  And there was at least one person near us who was like “This just in: we’ve officially confirmed that these two are banging.”  And I kind of blinked because, yeah, everyone and their brother thinks my roommate and I are banging (including her girlfriend and the girlfriend is…remarkably okay with this), but I had no idea how one thing had turned into the other, and my roommate had to sit down and explain it to me after she stopped laughing.

smittygirl:

chaoskirin:

Super Tuesday. Bernie really gained some ground.

Hillary won all the states she was supposed to in an area of the country where most of the voters were coming out to vote for Republicans.

But Bernie won Minnesota and Colorado. (And OK and MN) which Hillary absolutely needed.

We are sitting really well, people. Don’t give up now.  MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE you vote in the primaries. This is not something you can do ‘if you have time.’ This is the point where Hillary’s Superdelegates are going to start really paying attention and thinking about who is more electable.

Don’t let it be Hillary. There are major blue states coming up in the primaries. Sanders must win them. Your single vote can make a difference.

THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT.

VOTE. PLEASE.  VOOOOOTTTEEEEE.

tolkien-in-beleriand:

silverhairedelf:

celeborn-of-doriath:

silverhairedelf:

tolkien-in-beleriand:

Oh my God OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

You know I never actually read The Lord of the Rings Epilogue because I thought I couldn’t deal with it and you know what?

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!

Have a look at this part and you will understand why

‘But the Elves are sailing away still, aren’t they, and soon there’ll be none, will there, dad?’ said Rose; ‘and then all will be just places, and very nice, but, but…’

‘But what, Rosie-lass?’

‘But not like in stories.’

‘Well, it would be so if they all was to sail,’ said Sam. ‘But I am told they aren’t sailing any more. The Ring has left the Havens, and those that made up their mind to stay when Master Elrond left are staying. And so there’ll be Elves still for many and many a day.’

‘Still I think it was very sad when Master Elrond left Rivendell and the Lady left Lórien,’ said Elanor. ‘What happened to Celeborn? Is he very sad?’

‘I expect so, dear. Elves are sad; and that’s what makes them so beautiful, and why we can’t see much of them. He lives in his own land as he always has done,’ said Sam. ‘Lórien is his land, and he loves trees.’

‘No one else in the world hasn’t got a Mallorn like we have, have they?’ said Merry. ‘Only us and Lord Keleborn.’

‘So I believe,’ said Sam. Secretly it was one of the greatest prides of his life. ‘Well, Keleborn lives among the Trees, and he is happy in his Elvish way, I don’t doubt. They can afford to wait, Elves can. His time is not come yet. The Lady came to his land and now she is gone; and he has the land still. When he tires of it he can leave it. So with Legolas, he came with his people and they live in the land across the River, Ithilien, if you can say that, and they’ve made it very lovely, according to Mr. Pippin. But he’ll go to Sea one day, I don’t doubt. But not while Gimli’s still alive.’

Is he very sad? 

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP LIVING AFTER THIS???

HELP ME. I DID NOT NEED THIS PAIN. This family is killing me. Whenever Celeborn is ready, Celebrían and Galadriel will be waiting for him.
@celeborn-of-doriath, Are you very sad? 

OMG YOU GUYS @silverhairedelf @tolkien-in-beleriand can we please just talk about how tragic and sad ALL of the Celeborn parts are? Can we talk about this until I am drunk off all this glorious, magical, delicious angst??

I love that part from the epilogue. It’s so sad but wonderful. And the prologue is just as sad. 

“It is said that Celeborn went to dwell there after the departure of Galadriel; but there is no record of the day when at last he sought the Grey Havens, and with him went the last living memory of the Elder Days in Middle-earth.”

FOTR prologue, p. 15, Houghton Mifflin 1987 edition

So he goes but takes the last memory of the elves with him!?!? JUST MURDER MY HEART ALREADY. but are we done with Celeborn angst yet? Aw hell no y’all.

“Drink, Lord of the Galadhrim! And let not your heart be sad, though night must follow noon, and already our evening draweth nigh.” - Galadriel to Celeborn, FOTR, Farewell to Lórien, p. 365, Houghton Mifflin 1987 edition

HOW IS IT SO ROMANTIC AND PAINFUL AT THE SAME TIME?!?!

“Kinsman, farewell! May your doom be other than mine, and your treasure remain with you to the end!” - Celeborn to Aragorn, ROTK, Many Partings, p. 260, Houghton Mifflin 1987 edition

I’ve heard some people say they think in the above Celeborn is referencing Lórien, which doesn’t make sense for a lot of reasons, but this debate is easily solved by reading Tolkien’s letters, where he directly states Celeborn is speaking about Galadriel here as his ‘treasure’.

AND ARE YOU CRYING YET??? Celeborn has some super sad lines that I think get overlooked, or that people just don’t realize are there. So tragic. I love him. Help. Help me. It hurts.

Since my heart is breaking into thousands of pieces, I thought I would also contribute some sad lines that Celeborn says. Let me remind you of Celeborn’s prediction of the end of Middle Earth.

“‘Now is the time,’ [Celeborn] said, ‘when those who wish to continue the Quest must harden their hearts and leave this land. Those who no longer wish to go forward may remain here, for a while. But whether they stay or go, none can be sure of peace. For we are come now to the edge of doom. Here those who wish to await the oncoming of the hour till either the ways of the world lie open again, or we summon them to the last need of Lórien. Then they may return to their own lands, or else go to the long home of those that fall in battle.’”
-Celeborn to The Company
(The Fellowship of the Ring 358)

Excuse me, Celeborn? None can be sure of peace? We are come now to the edge of doom? Then they may return to their own lands, or else go to the long home of those that fall in battle? CAN YOU STAB ME JUST ONE MORE TIME? I don’t think you’ve hurt me enough yet.

I have yet another example of sad Celeborn (and Galadriel) lines.

“'It is sad that we should meet only thus at the ending. For the world is changing: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, and I smell it in the air. I do not think we shall meet again’ [said Treebeard].
And Celeborn said: ‘I do not know, Eldest.’ But Galadriel said: ‘Not in Middle-earth, nor until the lands that lie under the wave are lifted up again. Then in the willow-meads of Tasarinan we may meet in the Spring. Farewell!’”
-Treebeard, Celeborn, and Galadriel in conversation
(The Return of the King 959)

WHY? I also would like to touch upon the example you brought up about Celeborn taking the last living memory of the Elves with him when he sails. Can you imagine what he must have felt? He probably held on so long in Middle Earth BECAUSE he knew that when he goes, ALL THE ELVES GO WITH HIM. How depressing is that? Celeborn carried the memory of his people. That is no light weight to carry. He probably had to come to terms with letting that memory slip away from Middle Earth before he could sail. He had to be content in some weird way that the memory of the Elves would be no more once he left. POOR CELEBORN. MY HEART IS ACHING, EVERYONE.

@celeborn-of-doriath and @tolkien-in-beleriand, this post has become one long post of very real Celeborn feelings, AND I LOVE IT. It’s heart-breaking, BUT I LOVE IT.

**Quoted material from the Complete Classic Harper Collins 1994 edition

I am going to murder both of you for making me remember

 “It is said that Celeborn went to dwell there after the departure of Galadriel; but there is no record of the day when at last he sought the Grey Havens, and with him went the last living memory of the Elder Days in Middle-earth.”

and

“'It is sad that we should meet only thus at the ending. For the world is changing: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, and I smell it in the air. I do not think we shall meet again’ [said Treebeard].

And Celeborn said: ‘I do not know, Eldest.’ But Galadriel said: ‘Not in Middle-earth, nor until the lands that lie under the wave are lifted up again. Then in the willow-meads of Tasarinan we may meet in the Spring. Farewell!’”
-Treebeard, Celeborn, and Galadriel in conversation

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THESE TWO BITS SPECIFICALLY!

Now I’ll just get back to my tears.

reywallker:

i love the mythbusters they’re like those weird uncles that you only see occasionally at big family reunions and every time you see them they’re like, “hey kid, wanna see what happens when we light a bee hive full of jalapeños and grenades on fire and shoot it?” and you’re like “uncle adam no” but it’s too late and there go your mother’s hydrangeas 

thebibliosphere:

hadanelith:

thebibliosphere:

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please?

All right buckle the fuck up kids, it’s the year 2012 and I’ve just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It’s a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven’t edited a single thing in months which isn’t about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there’s a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I’m not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It’ll be dead by page 24, but I don’t know that yet. I’m just editing one more vampire boner fest.

The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

And that’s the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You’re all fucking WELCOME.

downtroddendeity:

death-limes:

coelasquid:

This whole “trust Tumblr blindly” thing is eventually going to kill someone, as I became pointedly aware of on one occasion I was making fun of how poorly a particular bleach-based drain declogger was working on my sink and got a chorus of really dangerously misinformed people telling me to pour vinegar in after it because all cute little cool kid diy home care blogs they’re following talk about vinegar like it it’s the big secret the cleaning companies don’t want you to know.

And I cringed knowing that someday, some Well Actually expert who read a blog article once is going to give that advice to someone who unfortunately didn’t take high school chemistry and isn’t aware that MIXING VINEGAR AND BLEACH MAKES CHLORINE GAS.

holy fucking jesus tits reblog to save a life

For those not aware, vinegar is not the only thing you shouldn’t mix with bleach. Bleach is pretty nasty stuff, and if you’re using it to clean, you’re almost certainly using too much of it- the concentration used to sterilize things in microbiology labs handling extremely dangerous diseases is 1 part bleach to 9 parts water.

Besides vinegar, it’ll react with basically anything acidic to make chlorine gas, which includes a lot of household cleaners. Toilet cleaner, for one- my mom learned this the hard way with those solid bleach things you put in the toilet tank.

It’ll react with ammonia to make chloramines, which are also unfun. Ammonia is also a common ingredient in some household cleaners, as well as in pee, so be careful using bleach on really nasty toilets or litter boxes or whatever.

Bleach and hydrogen peroxide usually doesn’t produce poisonous gas (it bubbles a lot, but it’s mostly oxygen), but you still shouldn’t do it, because I had to say “usually.”

Basically when in doubt, rinse the thing you bleached with LOTS of water before you use any other cleaning chemicals on it.

thoodleoo:

i just really love when someone has studied a historical figure for a long time and gets so familiar with them that they talk about them as if they were friends. like there goes my boy caesar killing a bunch of gauls again! oh julius you rascal

fishyfellow:

snorlaxatives:

the-little-engine-that-couldnt:

snorlaxatives:

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

This really cheered me up

kyraneko:

callmegallifreya:

error-404-fuck-not-found:

dendritic-trees:

fuckingflying:

I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?

Nim Chimpsky.

Fucking monkey pun.

And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But

BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.

Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.

There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous.  The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs.  And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.

Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.

And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.

Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”.  We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.

The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.

Half a byte of data is a nibble.

I LOVE US

communified:

steverogcrs:

RIP to the greatest meme of all time. The father of all memes. The Dicaprio meme. (1994-2016)

You need to be more specific cause this one is still chugging along