this really cute customer came in today and i asked him how he was paying and he said ‘hasta la visa baby’ and then he blushed and cleared his throat and was like ‘um.. visa please’ and i kinda wanna marry him
friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”
hail satan
rain satan
snow satan
tomorrow there is a 90% chance of precipisatan
it’ll be foggy in the morning, lots of condensatan
OK, when you guys get down here to hell, give the doorman your URLs and I’ll get you VIP treatment.
You guys are alright.
my chinese students really love english profanity because they dont get in trouble for it
i try to just ignore it so they don’t get a reaction and keep using it
but today during a creative writing exercise, a character was arguing with a dragon, and the kids needed to decide what the character would yell
this one kid raises his hand and calmly submits his suggestion of “f*ck you, you foolish dragon motherf*cker”
i dont know its just
its difficult not to react to that
American Christmas: don’t be naughty or else you’ll get coal
German Christmas: don’t be naughty or else you’ll be kidnapped by a demon who stuffs you in his wheat basket and eats you
I’M CLEAN
i took
a shower
the amount of people that think these aren’t art forms angers me
i think my favorite story is my bisexual friends father hating that she liked the same gender so he sent her to a catholic school an all girls school
an enclosed space with nothing but girls
I like to imagine him crossing his arms and thinking “why yes, this is a sound decision”
“the perfect plan”
“women shouldn’t have to wear makeup unless they want to!”
YEAH
“you don’t have to conform to society’s expectations of feminine aesthetics! ”
YEAH
“women who don’t wear makeup are better; i only like women who look good without makeup; women who wear makeup are fake; etc.”
NOOOOOOOOOOO
petition to start romanticizing brown eyes
The colour was rich like chocolate and soft as fur when she was happy, but when crossed, quickly became the rocks the ships shattered against in the storm.
I am immensely pleased with this.
Aw this made me happy
petition to start romanticizing brown eyes
The colour was rich like chocolate and soft as fur when she was happy, but when crossed, quickly became the rocks the ships shattered against in the storm.
I am immensely pleased with this.
Aw this made me happy
a transgender person has a child
they are now transparent
I almost thought there was gonna be something mean at the end of that. Nope. Just a pun
REFUSE to CONFORM to SOCIETAL NORMS, GENDER ROLES, or the HARRY POTTER EPILOGUE
I honestly think people forget that the church and state are supposed to be separate. Give me one non-religious reason against same sex marriage. One non-religious reason against stem cell research. One non-religious reason against safe abortions. Go ahead.
I’ve been saying this for YEARS.
“it’s like freud always said,” says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily
nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek
how old are you
“thatkilljoy” living up to the url i see
‘it’s alright, we’re all girls here’ is like the worst coercive thing to say to a young girl who’s expressing she’s uncomfortable about a situation and the fact that it’s so rampant is pretty disgusting
but y’all like to forget girls can abuse girls right
reblog this
OH IM SORRY MOM DID THE MIDDLE OF MY SENTENCE INTERRUPT THE BEGINNING OF YOURS?!?!!?/1/!?!?1/!/1?
i told my mom that this post started gaining me followers when i first posted it and she got really mad because she was offended and she actually interrupted me to tell me how rude it was
clouds look so friendly i wish i was a cloud
this cloud doesnt look very friendly to me
the term “aro-ace” is especially lovely because it also sounds like “arrow ace.” are you aromantic and asexual or are you an incredibly skilled and deadly archer. surprise, you’re both
Let’s not forget the original arrow ace:
ARTEMIS JOKE I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG
shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.
it is actually really sweet when someone stays up late to talk to you
What if they fall asleep by accident though?
then you love it even more because they stayed up even though they were dead tired just to talk to you ya doof
I always appreciate this.
I hate when you sit in class and do absolutely nothing
like, I could do this shit in the comfort of my own bed.