It’s because dead people were covered in white shrouds, and the ghost was the dead person come back to life and walking around with the shroud still over their head.
Like… I was aware of the existence of funeral shrouds.
Why has it taken me twenty-five years to realise that that’s where the ghost sheet comes from.
Why am I so dim.
OH MY GOD I NEVER REALISED
I like thought it was to show the shape… of where they weren’t - like they’re invisible… and then… I DONT KNOW GOT STUCK IN A SHEET
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night:
Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience.
Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength.
So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face.
I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage.
From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
In high school I did costuming for The Wiz and accidentally made the Lion’s wig too backheavy and didn’t even know that toupee clips were a thing then. (it was the first ever show I designed and costumes for) In the first show, during the middle of the scene when the lion is introduced, the wig fell off his head. There was a beat of stunned silence, followed by a scandalized “MY WEAVE” from the actor for the lion and the audience lost it. It was practically glued to his head after that.
During my high school’s production of Chicago the boy playing Amos got a little flustered with his lines during Funny Honey and ended up calling Roxie his ‘waifu’
In the final dress rehearsal for our high school production of A Christmas Carol, we had to do a quick set change from Scrooge’s office to his bedroom in the scene where he meets Marley’s ghost. However, this also meant that the actor playing Scrooge had about 15 seconds to peg it to the wing, and do a quick change from a full suit to a set of pyjamas, then hop into a bed to be carried on stage. But on this show, Scrooge just couldn’t make it in time and the only people who knew about it first were the assistant director, the costume/makeup people and those in charge of carrying the bed on stage. Everyone else was oblivious. So the silence settles in, the lights come up, and the music starts, with the sounds of Marley’s chains pre-recorded over the music. Marley has no choice but to make his way on stage without a Scrooge to confront. This is the moment when everyone realises, and the tension in the air is unreal. The music guys fade the sound out and Scrooge still isn’t in the bed. So Marley takes a seat by Scrooge’s bed and pulls off this huge, incredible, improvised monologue about his time with Scrooge and what he has come here to do. Throughout this, everyone backstage is dying. Some doubled over laughing, some trying to claw Scrooge’s eye out for missing his cue. But the audience did absolutely nothing. Then Scrooge vaults himself into the bed and makes like he’s asleep. Marley slowly stands up and says “time to make myself seen” and the rest of the scene went on without a hitch. tl;dr - Marley enters Scrooge’s bedroom and Scrooge isn’t there. Marley saves the whole play by coming up with a huge and brilliant monologue to the audience about his time with Scrooge just when we all thought we were fucked.
oh boy do i have some stories from my most recent show
my buddy drew and i both played Puck in our high school’s rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream (don’t ask, our drama teacher had a cool idea that we’d both play him at the same time as if we were twins and like alternate our lines and say things at the same time and stuff, it was neat, you had to be there) and during our second showing the person who played Robin Starveling brought one of those fake candles onstage except at one point she dropped the candle and iT SHATTERED ALL OVER THE STAGE and we had dancers coming onstage after Puck’s monologue and they were all barefoot and we didn’t want them to step on the glass so drew and i had to nonchalantly bring a fuckign BROOM onstage as if it were just any stage prop and right after we finished our monologue and the lights went down we had about 5 seconds to sweep the glass off the stage as quickly as possible it was a shitshow
during our final show there was this one moment where drew has to hop on my back and i have to piggyback him offstage and it worked flawlessly every other time but for this oNE PARTICULAR SHOWING my dumb ass didn’t plant my feet well enough and as soon as he got on my back my knees buckled and i deadass just collapsed onstage so we quickly and non-verbally agreed to have drew piggyback me offstage instead but i’m also like 40 pounds heavier than he is so it looked really awkward with me on his back and him kinda just hobbling away
ok during the parts where either Puck or Oberon has to sprinkle this magic whatever from this love flower onto certain characters there’s usually a pinch or two of glitter in the flower props that we get from a cup that’s filled with glitter backstage but for our final show we still had a lot of glitter left in the cup that we had to get rid of so we had the brilliant idea to just fuckin pour the entire rest of the contents of the Glitter Cup into the flower prop so it was filled to the literal brim and have the person who played Oberon dump it all over the person who played Demetrius so during that scene drew and i watched from the wings and struggled to hold in our laughter as we just saw this GIANT CLOUD OF BRIGHT PINK GLITTER emerge from the flower prop and settle all over our Demetrius so like the entire right side of his face and body was absolutely coated in glitter it was so fucking hilarious and the best part was there was this big confrontation scene between Demetrius, Lysander (shoutout to my pal brad), Hermia, and Helena and they all had to stay 100% serious doing probably the most intense scene of the whole play with Demetrius looking like a vampire from twilight the whole time. as soon as he came backstage he came after our Oberon angrily yell-whispering “FUCK YOUUUU” at him it was AMAZING
so hey fun fact for anyone who wants queer history trivia: the first disco in Seattle was opened in 1973 and was a gay bar called “shelly’s leg” and it was named after a dancer named shelly who lost her leg in a confetti cannon accident and used the insurance/lawsuit settlement money to open a gay disco.
a) This is such a fantastic story that I wouldn’t care if it were made up, except that
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death
during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.
The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people
King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.
Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.
Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes
At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.
When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.
Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.
During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.
The Roman Empire had a group of Holy Chickens. Fortune was good or bad depending on how well they ate.
The hero Perseus was so popular in ancient Greece that multiple cities tried to claim a relation to him. Mycenae did this by connecting its name to his myth. Because of this, the name is said to derive from the pommel (mukes) of his sword, which he dropped; the mushrooms (mukes, again) that he ate there and the bellow (mukema) Medusa’s sisters let forth when they finally gave up their pursuit (which obviously happened near the city).
Prayers to the gods in Ancient Greece were often first spoken, then tied to the right statue so they would not be forgotten. If a prayer was unanswered, it was acceptable to curse the god instead (and tie said curse to the statue as well).
It is unclear whether the Greeks actually sacrificed humans or just really liked writing about it.
Priests had little to no power in ancient Greece.
The goddess Hera, queen of the gods, was not only goddess of marriage, but also of divorce.
Aphrodite was goddess of love but also goddess of the Gentle Sea (as opposed to Poseidon who ruled the chaos of the sea).
Apollo was considered the most Greek of all the Gods but he’s originally from the East.
Artemis was the goddess of the wild, terrifying and dangerous, until Homerus turned her into a gentle virgin.
In the ancient Egyptian afterlife, they believed they had to pass certain levels to get to rest in peace. One of these involved being chased by a giant dung beetle
Margaret Thatcher was on the team that invented Mr Whippy ice-cream
In 1970 famous Japanese author/actor Yukio Mishima wanted to restore Japan’s empire by giving the emperor back his power. He and his extremist group, the Shield Society, took over the Tokyo JSDF headquarters and after a long speech, he attempted to commit seppuku, which meant taking a sword and slowly cutting your abdomen open from side to side and then slicing the body cavity vertically up the center. One of his followers was in charge of severing Yukio’s head if he wasn’t able to complete seppuku, which he wasn’t. But this soldier was like 19 and freaked out. He closed his eyes, took a swing at Yukio, and cut off part of his skull, Yukio still alive. He tried again but this time took a chunk out of Yukio’s shoulder/arm. Finally, some other person had to come up and cut off Yukio’s head to put him out of his misery.
historians wanted to figure out what had given the north the upper hand in this one key battle in the civil war.
they set up re-enactments, looked at pictures, read the stories, and came to the conclusion that the north had a fence to hide behind,
a literal FENCE turned the tide of the civil war.
(we thank the fences we do)
Potatoes are from Peru, and Europeans didn’t desire them. So Frederick the Great used reverse psychology to get potatoes to be popular in the Kingdom of Prussia. He had patatoes heavily gaurded. Thus, making people interested in them. Some people even started stealing them.
Peter the Great traded several of his tallest Russian soldiers for possession of the original Amber Room from a Prussian king, who liked the idea of surrounding himself with tall fighters.
There is a writer known as B. Tavern, for whom a lot isn’t well known about. It is believed that he did live in Mexico, where a lot of his novels are set in, including The Treasure of the Sierra Nevada.
The writer, Ambrose Bierce disappeared one day in 1914 in Mexico. No one is quite sure what happened to him.
There are small objects called Roman Dodecahedrons that have been excavated in many places from Wales to Italy, though most have been found in Germany and France. No one is quite sure what they have been used for, though some have been found with melted wax. Speculations have ranged between candlestick holders to survey instruments to religious artefacts.
There is no such thing as a brontasaurus. A group of archeologists coming to the end of their dig strung together what bones they did find and called it an whole skeleton so as not to have come up empty handed.
Leia has, for various reasons, a very dubious outlook on classic Jedi training methods. This is not just because of various circumstances surrounding her son, she’s had this opinion for many years before his birth. But Luke was insistent when Ben proved Force sensitive and there was nothing Leia could say otherwise that had any documentation, any records, any proof.
(she’s concerned that her use of the Force might be considered Other, or Grey, or Dark)
It’s like this: the Jedi are unsubtle.
It’s like this: Moving a blaster’s nose a half centimeter causes the shot to miss by a feet. It’s much easier to make 5 blasters miss than to throw 5 Stormtroopers backwards.
It’s like this: when Leia speaks, she is Forceful. When she speaks to a room, she starts with nudges to make everyone listen, she slides in quiet elation at her words, she ends with encouraging a feeling of being able to do absolutely anything in the Universe.
And she lets her speech carry out the rest of the details, rather than her Force, she lets her people decide how to act, she lets choice finish their decisions and these decisions and choices lasts longer when she leaves the room than if she simply Forced someone to say, “I will do as you command.”
(she takes after her mother, she hears)
Leia wonders if that was how Palpatine caused her father to go Dark, and remains quiet when Luke trains her son.
And when Ben turns, she feels the reverberations, and can’t find it in her to blame Luke for it entirely.
(she wonders if she should have Spoken, or if it would have made things worse)
[[[because lol]]]
The base is collapsing around their ears, their TIE fighters are falling from the sky, and That Girl has come back with That Lightsaber and more training and for the life of him Kylo cannot hold his ground against her so he’s running but those are things he’s not examining too closely. Instead:
“HIGHLY TRAINED FIGHTERS, he says,” Kylo swears under his breath and dodges around more Stormtroopers, hoping they’d stall his pursuit. The Force tells him they don’t do a damn thing. “PICKED from a YOUNG AGE, he says, BETTER than CLONES, he says, THEN WHY CAN’T YOUR STORMTROOPERS HIT THE BROADSIDE OF A DEATHST–”
Hux suddenly skids to a stop. “She’s here.”
“WHO’S HERE?!”
“I don’t know what she has, the scientists can’t figure it out but when she’s around,” Hux staggers, panting, “at this point, no one can aim straight if she’s even on the same planet, let alone the same room and–”
“WHO?!” Kylo reaches out and grabs Hux by the throat, pulling him to his toes. “GIVE ME A NAME.”
A throat clears behind him.
“Ben,” His mother says.
Kylo freezes.
“Put that back where you found it. We need to talk.”
Leia has, for various reasons, a very dubious outlook on classic Jedi training methods. This is not just because of various circumstances surrounding her son, she’s had this opinion for many years before his birth. But Luke was insistent when Ben proved Force sensitive and there was nothing Leia could say otherwise that had any documentation, any records, any proof.
(she’s concerned that her use of the Force might be considered Other, or Grey, or Dark)
It’s like this: the Jedi are unsubtle.
It’s like this: Moving a blaster’s nose a half centimeter causes the shot to miss by a feet. It’s much easier to make 5 blasters miss than to throw 5 Stormtroopers backwards.
It’s like this: when Leia speaks, she is Forceful. When she speaks to a room, she starts with nudges to make everyone listen, she slides in quiet elation at her words, she ends with encouraging a feeling of being able to do absolutely anything in the Universe.
And she lets her speech carry out the rest of the details, rather than her Force, she lets her people decide how to act, she lets choice finish their decisions and these decisions and choices lasts longer when she leaves the room than if she simply Forced someone to say, “I will do as you command.”
(she takes after her mother, she hears)
Leia wonders if that was how Palpatine caused her father to go Dark, and remains quiet when Luke trains her son.
And when Ben turns, she feels the reverberations, and can’t find it in her to blame Luke for it entirely.
(she wonders if she should have Spoken, or if it would have made things worse)
instead of only meeting when they’re about to lose eachother, rey, finn and poe all meet at the start of the movie when rey goes rummaging through the wreckage of the tie fighter they crash-landed in, and finds two mildly concussed strangers and a bunch of parts that require serious scrubbing but will probably keep her fed for a week.
points to consider:
rey already found bb-8 before she finds finn and poe, so: emotional reunion between poe and his droid while rey and finn look on and think, independently of eachother, what a swell guy
rey offers to share her rations for the day, but makes them do the scrubbing while she sits in the shade and relaxes for once
they end up at rey’s place and by this point rey already knows they’re with the resistance and she’s a little bit flustered because she lives in a literal wreck that she decorated with flowers and dolls and scavenged rebel alliance paraphernalia. she’s kind of glaring and i-dare-you-to-say-something at first, but the boys love it. finn is looking around trying not to be too obviously wide-eyed at all the home-y touches b/c he grew up in such a sterile, uniform environment where they probably didn’t have a lot of personal effects. poe comments that it’s cozy and actually reminds him of the squad dorms on d’qar because pilots always have a mess of parts lying around and little model ships and things, and rey would fit right in; rey is trying to be Very Dignified about everything but inside she’s all !!!!
because of reasons, poe and finn are stuck on jakku for a couple of days before the resistance can pick them up, so rey takes them scavenging. poe is very bad at climbing things, but finn manages to keep up and he knows a lot about star destroyer junk and he and rey get a little geeky about it and finn starts thinking that if the resistance won’t have him after all, maybe rey will and he can stay on jakku and be a scavenger with rey and live in rey’s lovely home. tl;dr by the end of the day he’s mentally scribbling ‘mr. rey’s husband <3 <3 <3′ in his journal.
rey still ends up beating plott’s thugs to defend bb-8 and the boys are like …oh.
when they board the falcon during their emergency getaway, both poe and finn assume it’s going to be poe flying it, but he ends up in the co-pilot seat hanging on for dear life and by the time they’re in orbit he’s pretty sure he’s about to do something incredibly inappropriate, like ask rey to marry him
finn still gets the jacket. idk does he still have that cynical ‘we can’t win’ moment at maz’s place and after he and rey say goodbye poe follows him all hey buddy i’m sad that you’re going but i totally respect your choice so here’s something to remember me by?
poe introducing finn and rey to leia. they’re all in various states of exhausted dishevelment but poe’s got his arms tight around them and his sweet, crinkly-eyed smile and leia decides on the spot that yes, she will officiate this wedding.
There was literally an article in this Sunday’s New York Post dragging Aaron Burr for saddling NYC with a grid system instead of wide Parisian boulevards. The first line was “We’ll never have Paris here in New York. But we could have … if not for Aaron Burr.” Marvelous. Hamilton’s ghost is weeping tears of joy.
This is the best addition to this post in 10,000+ notes and I would like to personally thank you for sharing this crucially important historical development
200+ years later and Burr still can’t catch a break from Alexander Hamilton’s legacy
I sometimes have to pay for water, but with a phone and some wifi, I get to read whole novels about my favorite characters for exactly zero additional dollars
How goddamn rad is that
all the love to the fanfic authors who make this possible, y'all are the best
me [sweating]: everything is under control situation normal uh had a slight weapons malfunction but uh everything’s alright now we’re fine we’re all fine here, now, thank you how are you?
Man. I feel so thirsty lately. I can’t drink enough water. I feel like the senator guy in that X-Men movie after getting exposed to Magneto’s mutant machine, and he keeps drinking drinking drinking water uncontrollably until he dives into the ocean and becomes a terrifying jellyfish creature and explodes. Freaking Magneto. I was already sympathetic to the mutant cause. Why you gotta hate?
You’re not a mutant, honey, you’re a mermaid. It’s all right. Once your scales start coming in, you won’t be as thirsty.
You know, being a diagnostician in a world with more public magical creatures must be a trip and a half.
“Extreme thirst has a lot of causes. Let’s check your blood sugar, and let’s take a skin sample to see if you’re developing scales.”
“Joint pain is pretty common when someone’s pushing themself that way with training, and I’d definitely recommend some rest, but it sounds like it’s been coming on with the moon so we might want to do a blood test to check for lycanthropy.”
“I’m going to give you this journal. Keep track of how often you’re near bodies of water and copses of trees – not single trees, there needs to be a cluster.”
“Bear with me, I know you’re lactose intolerant, but buy a pint of milk and keep it in your kitchen. If it spoils faster than expected, we’ll have a better idea of what’s going on here.”
“Have you considered that you may not, in fact, actually be a mammal?”
“Okay, I’m going to have to refer you to a specialist. It looks like your tertiary dentition is coming in.”
“I think we need to check for allergic reactions to silver, iron, a few types of wood, garlic, and holy water. That’ll help us rule out some possible causes for this rash. In the mean time I think you should avoid Italian food and holy ground.”
“Have you noticed clusters of birds following you? Were they corvids? Hm, interesting. You ought to come in to the office so we can discuss this further.”
“That itching sensation might be a rash, but I think we ought to give you an MRI and see if you’re about to grow horns.”
why do people think that the weasley brothers would corner harry and threaten him if he doesn’t take care of ginny?
i like to think they all had a prayer circle for the poor boy because ginny had her fair share of putting her brothers in their place when they piss her off.
fandom be like: “take care of our sister harry! or we will kill you!111!”
im sorry but it’s most likely this:
“she’s small but she’s powerful, here’s hoping you don’t get another scar.”
Harry probably realises Ginny is listening and gives a melodramatic sigh and says “Well, she’s already left a scar on my heart, so-” and Ginny snorts with laughter and her brothers all leap out of their chairs in terror.
They wouldn’t start a prayer circle; they’d be taking bets.
George whips everybody in the ‘first fight’ category of betting, when Ginny explodes at Harry for something minor months after they get back together. He rigged it, obviously (Fred would have been horror stricken if his death turned his brother into, nightmare of nightmares, a stiff). He splits the winnings with the pair of them.
Ron cleans up when Harry proposes. In retrospect the others decide they shouldn’t have let him gamble on that one.
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The IZ Collection goes up to a 2X and has a wide range of masculine and feminine clothes.
They look gorgeous, but be prepared. They are expensive.
“Rey is given a luxury that comes so easily to male heroes – she simply turns a corner, finds a magical item (Luke Skywalker’s Lightsaber, no less) and it awakens the Force in her. Just that. No searing infertility, no rape, no revelation of past abuse, no heartbreak, no sacrifice. No heroine who’s validity is defined by what she has sacrificed, in the way of Katniss handing up her life for her sister, becoming a martyr for a revolution. In the way of Ariel, handing over her power to speak in order to walk on land. No poison apple, no needle on a spinning wheel here.”—Opinion: Girls Explain Star Wars To You – (via damelola)
‘how will i exPLAIN that to mY ChilDREn iF therE are GaY PeoPle iN a StAR WAR’
no please look me in the face & tell me again that ‘why did the guy kiss the guy’ or ‘why did the girl kiss the girl’ would be a more uncomfortable or inappropriate conversation to have with your children as compared with ‘why did Leia kiss her brother’.
I don’t give two shits about kylo ren or his getting a redemption arc but if it will make general leia “didn’t deserve this” organa-solo happy I will drag his twenty-whine year old greasy pool noodle ass back into the light myself
HOSPITALS. ARE. ALREADY. REQUIRED. UNDER. LAW. TO. PROVIDE. LIFE. SAVING. EMERGENCY. CARE. REGARDLESS. OF. ABILITY. TO. PAY. OR. EVEN. CITIZENSHIP.
Stop acting like Americans have no access to emergency healthcare unless we socialize medicine.
IF. YOU. GO. AND. CAN’T. PAY. YOU’RE. STILL. THOUSANDS. IN. DEBT. THIS. IS. NOT. ACCESS.
This hospital in my city just threw out a homeless man
The hospital which took me in after I collapsed from the fist sized tumor over my heart, released me after refusing to diagnose it as cancer, which would have forced them to give me some kind of treatment. The doctor at the county hospital which took me in looked at their tests and said, “this is CLEARLY cancer, why didn’t they diagnose it? We can’t let you leave.”
Hospitals find ways when they want to, to avoid helping people when they want to.
“Oh that’s illegal, you should sue” “ with what money and how will I get the time and energy when I’m busy recovering from chemo?”
People who can’t afford treatment also can’t afford to protect their rights.
Absolutely this: “People who can’t afford treatment also can’t afford to protect their rights.”
Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.
The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.
how many men who say they’re in the friendzone are actually in the “I was just nice to him because I felt bad for him but now he’s getting all clingy and manipulative to the point that he is making me regret basic human kindness which I feel really guilty about but I just want to be free from this nightmare” zone
my fave thing about rey is that a tiny droid she just met tells her ‘hey that dude stole my master dude’s jacket’ and she just fuckin wrecks him as if she’s not going to hijack an enormous ship like 5mins later
Stormpilot is my favorite ship at the moment and I’m so happy that there’s so many fics already, and look, I made a rec list of some of my favorites so far.
updated: 28.12
how to fall in love with a fairytale by AndreaLyn |
Except here he is, now, thirty-two years old and starting to believe in fairytales again and that’s all Finn’s fault. | 2.8k
you don’t see what you possess by starstrung | Finn isn’t under any illusions. The only reason he’s made it this far is out of sheer dumb luck, and the skills of his friends. | 3.2k
waking by kirargent | When she speaks, Poe’s heart sputters like a bot without quite enough power to fully function. “Finn is awake.” | 2.6k
recovery begins by defira |
In the aftermath of the assault on Starkiller base, Finn struggles with his recovery, and Poe struggles with his feelings. | 2.7k
hyperspace by penthos | Finn has a tiny, tiny crush on Poe Dameron. Everything’s fine, situation normal. Except that Finn is overly dramatic, Rey is just trying to help, and BB-8 is the hero we all deserve.
| 1.6k
asterism 32 by black_nata | “Keep it,” he says. “It suits you,” and has to bite his lip to keep anything else from spilling out of his big mouth. | 4.6k
just like it should by fabrega | “You’re the Resistance’s best pilot, and he’s wearing your jacket. Just go talk to him!” | 2.6k
answers from jackets by dansunedisco | Finn wears Poe’s jacket, and people take notice. | 0.5k
awakenings by beetle | Finn wakes up and the first thing he sees is Poe. | 5.2k
I relied upon the moon by mnemosyne | tumblr prompt: How about the amazing trope of “you will recognize your soulmate by the first words they say to you (as it is tattooed on your skin)” but as finn was in the stormtrooper program his was removed. | 2.2k
helping hands by isloremipsumafterall | Poe’s squadron catches on that Finn and Poe like each other and decide to try to help Finn out; it’s not really helpful at all. | 1.9k
coming together by BlackRose2014 | I can fly anything. Are you Resistance? FN-2187 stared at the words scrawled in messy Standard on his forearm. He didn’t know what they meant. Well, he didn’t know what they were supposed to mean at least. What they meant for him, though, was extra protocol sessions and more scrutiny from his superiors. | 6k
climb inside my body (captive in my skin) by ShowMeAHero |
Poe’s parents took special care to explain soulmate marks to him, pointing to the blaster rifle fire on his left arm and explaining that, as he grew, so would the mark. It would become a whole picture, growing and developing as his soulmate grew and developed. Poe worshiped his mark, examining it every day for changes. | 2.7k
it felt like burning by 13thdoctor, JHarkness | The five times Poe kisses Finn, and the one time Finn kisses him back. | 4.7k
the defect of a defector by doctornemesis | The defect in the defector was not necessarily his moral sense of right and wrong, but his ability to love and be loved. The truest form of free will one could make. | 1.3k
a stitch in time by moss28 |
Finn and his jacket both make it off of Starkiller Base, though they’re in rough shape. Poe thinks he can fix at least one of those things. | 2.6k
the end of the red thread by cloudnine101 |
Poe is beautiful and funny and kind. Finn has no idea what to do with him. | 1.4k
Hi! I was wondering whether your awesome 'Poe is a space princess' trope/headcanon is something you're writing or a general prompt type thing because reading it kinda started an avalanche of plot ideas. Thank you! :)
Go for it! That was just an idea one of my friends had; I wrote her that story as a gift, but it’s certainly not my headcanon and it’s free to a good home. Write as many stories as you want about Princess Poe!
also fun fact: if you replace bb-8 with a puppy, the force awakens instantly becomes a rom-com about a tiny concerned dog going on a quest to find a date for its charming but lonely owner, and comes back with two excellent prospects in tow.
