Ok so real talk I dated this guy for a while and whenever I went down on him I would tie my hair up. He told me later that I had accidentally conditioned him so that anytime I put my hair up around him he would immediately get a boner.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: When you treat retail employees like shit, you become an instant joke. You are the story they tell over coffee to make their friends and family laugh at the idiot. You are the person they mimic in a squeaky voice.
Next time you want to yell at a retail employee, imagine them repeating what you are about to say in a squeaky voice. Because that will be your legacy.
Ships where they hate each other and are enemies but slowly and unintentionally turn into friends and care about each other and still try and act like jackasses to one another but with love ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know why I love AUs? Because the whole point of them is that everything is changed, and yet these two people are still going to meet and fall in love- that they’re so set in stone and so meant to be that you can change literally everything in a hundred universes and they’ll fall in love over and over again.
If Christian Grey wasn’t a rich pretty boy, and was say a fat, middle aged, used car salesman; 50 Shades of Grey would be made into a Lifetime Original Movie, with Mr. Grey ending up in jail. Seriously, this book raises every red flag warning signal I learned during my Military Police training. Grey is a fucking psycho. If a 4th book comes out, it’ll be about him finding a good place to dump Anastasia’s corpse.
IF YOU TELL A GIRL SHES PRETTY IT WILL BOOST HER SELF CONFIDENCE FOREVER
SO IF YOU FIND A GIRL PRETTY
GROW A SET AND TELL HER
no ok but like 2 years ago this one guy called me pretty and I still remember it to this day like whenever I think I’m ugly I’m like well at least that one guy that one time thought I was pretty
WARNING THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS CATCALLING OR SAYING “HEY SEXY”, ETC.
is it true that girls have to be careful when they take baths because their vaginas can like swallow water or something and then get infected and then they can die or is that just a myth
did you take sex ed in texas
let me just say that i live in texas and in my sexual education a girl asked what the clitoris was and the teacher told her that it didn’t exist.
Thor see’s Darcy as his little sister, just as she looks to him like an overprotective big brother. So when Darcy brings her dates to the tower Thor greets them in full armour, while the other Avengers look on amused. Needless to say, none of them call her back.
If you ever get annoyed when someone tells you to do something remember that her record label told Sara Bareilles that she needed to write a love song if she wanted to make it onto the charts so she wrote a song basically telling them to go fuck themselves, named it ‘Love Song”, and it spent 363 weeks on the charts and hit #1.
