Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
things that will make me immediately lose respect for you:
- yelling at/hitting animals
- treating your significant others badly
- using slurs
- purposely misgendering someone
- embarrassing people for fun
- Being a racist asshole
- Being a homophobe
- Infringing on other peoples’ rights
also, yelling at/being incredibly rude to someone in the service industry (waitress/waiter/bartender/fast-food worker/etc)
BEING PRESSURED INTO SAYING YES IS NOT CONSENT AND YOUR FEELINGS OF BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ARE STILL VALID AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
I REPEAT
BEING PRESSURED INTO SAYING YES IS NOT CONSENT
AND YOUR FEELINGS OF BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ARE STILL VALID
AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT
When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:
“I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury.”
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”
And the most frequent response of all:
“Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”
The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”
These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”
A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.
I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”
The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….
”—Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)
THIS BOOK SAVED MY LIFE AND I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH
EVERYONE ON EARTH SHOULD READ THIS *except abusers
(via theinconstantones)
Reblog if you would be comfortable living in a dormitory with an openly transgender or intersex individual. We’re working on a campaign for gender neutral housing and we could use your support.
According to Vulcan mourning traditions, a death is mourned only if the life was wasted. Leonard Nimoy lived an incredible life and leaves behind a wonderful legacy - one of compassion, creativity, and kindness. Let’s honor his life and celebrate his legacy by making an effort to uplift and encourage our fellow travelers on this little blue planet. #LLAP
Also! A Vulcan mourning tradition that survived from the ancient times before the teachings of Surak is the distinction between mourning and grieving. A life wasted was mourned, the death of someone held close was grieved. The traditional statement given, in recognition of a problem for which there is no foreseeable logical solution, is “I grieve with thee.” LLAP
@ people who use they/them pronouns: I am so sorry you have to deal with know-it-alls who think they & them are only used for multiple people and I’m also sorry you have to deal with people who try to get you to use he/him or she/her pronouns you keep doing you ok
REALLY THOUGH. (I am so sorry that people are terrible, sweeties, and if I ever fuck up because I fuck up at everything please tell me because I want you to be comfortable and I am sorry that I fuck up at everything.)
The best part about shipping Shakespeare characters is that, somewhere out there, there is a published scholar who agrees with you.
What about across plays
Can I ship Oberon with Hamlet
Shylock with Othello
Titania with Violet
Rosalind with Benedick
Romeo and Hamlet ft. Juliet and Ophelia facepalming in the distance
I just realized that Romeo/Hamlet’s ship name is Homeo and I’m behind that 100%
When an American hears the degrees in Celsius
When everyone else hears the degrees in Fahrenheit
#was going to be a nice 80 degrees out#we had a foreign exchange student from…
it’s amazing how frozone’s wife didn’t even show her face in the incredibles and had like the smallest role ever yet somehow succeeded in delivering the best lines in animation history
i wanna go for walks in the middle of the night but i also don’t want to die ya feel
just girly things
Thor volunteering while on earth to help coach a little girls sports league. I really don’t even care what. He cheers them on to victory and buys them all hotdogs and afterwards they sit in the grass and braid his hair and fill it and his beard with flowers. They rename the team The Valkyries.
Every time they start losing badly, the game gets mysteriously rained out. Nobody has the guts to say anything.
I believe in this
Germans: Oh you’re learning German? Hey, you’re not so bad at it. Don’t razzle dazzle it up though.
French: About time you learned French.
Russians, Koreans, Spanish-speakers: WOW YOU’RE LEARNING MY LANGUAGE? LET ME HELP YOU I CAN GET SOME MATERIALS FOR YOU AND RECOMMEND SOME SITES AND VIDEOS, DID YOU JUST SAY “HELLO” IN MY LANGUAGE? YOU ARE SO GREAT WOW I AM SO IMPRESSED
Dutch: but why would you do this
why would you do this
Cassandra Clare
(via astropelican)
sending your kid to catholic school is the easiest way to guarantee your kid will not be catholic
Fun story: a friend of mine discovered she was bi-sexual and into bdsm at a catholic school after a nun put her over her knee and spanked her. Christians just can’t seem to get anything right.
• shirts actually designed for girls with larger chests
• plus size clothing ACTUALLY intended to accommodate plus size people not just scaled up littler clothing
• clothes for tall people that won’t ride up
• pants for people with no butts
• cute bras in bigger sizes
•the fashion industry’s understanding that there’s lots of body types and every body type deserves to feel good in the clothes they wearpockets
Fucking pockets
PREACH
february 30th and 31st do not exist, and there is no february 29th this year
if you have something due march 2nd:
that is this coming monday
get off of tumblr and get on your assignments, guys
Reblog to save a life.
“Negroes,
Sweet and docile,
Meek, humble, and kind:
Beware the day
They change their mind.”
Stay woke.
“Man humans are lame why don’t we have like wings/horns/etc”
Humans can’t even handle having different skin colors how well do you really think that would go
#basically the plot of x-men
#literally the plot of x-men
psa: dont ever order from Lime Crime Cosmetics its a super shady company, the owner is a complete jerk who’s dressed up as a nazi on different occasions and theyve been known to steal and sell credit card information
this post mysteriously disappeared off my blog hmmmm
boost this, she keeps the shit about her well hidden, I had no idea
do you want to know something?? I always wondered what the hell kind of hairstyle the Ancient Egyptians were trying to portray with depictions like these
and this
until I did my hair this morning and
oh
welp
you can take the noses off our statues but until you find a way to take Egypt out of Africa we’re still going to find ourselves
Say it again for the people in the back
