When I was growing up any time my brother upset/hurt/was rude to or downright nasty to me I was told “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you” “he’s just doing it to annoy you”
Like??? I know?? I know he’s being mean to upset me. I know he’s saying horrible stuff to annoy me. And guess what?? I’m annoyed!!!!
I was literally told not to be upset, because his intentions were to upset me????
How is that not upsetting? Especially to a young girl??
THE GASLIGHTING STARTS EARLY.
As I was relentlessly bullied, I was often told not to react because the reaction was what they wanted, and that they would stop bullying me if I did not respond.
In reality, no, they just tried harder. All the advice ever taught me was to bottle up all the pent up frustration and misery, so ultimately what changed was that no-one knew how badly I was suffering.
Nothing is changed by inaction.
“Ignore them and they’ll go away,” is the most horrible damaging fucking lie I was ever told. If you don’t react, then they know they can bully you without consequences.
And why, if they were in the wrong, was it my fucking job to deal with it?
I still get told this when my teenage brother is being mean (I’m almost 20). It still makes me furious, and I still don’t have a good comeback.
I got told this when it was literally an adult man picking at me, a disabled little girl, until I would cry. Because his wife was my mother’s friend and said wife would get defensive and even angry if I (or anyone) dared get angry at her husband for being an arse to everyone because “that’s just what he does”. Somehow a disabled child was supposed to summon up levels of maturity and acceptance that a grown man was just apparently unable to manage.
People like this don’t want to take responsibility for policing their own behaviour, but if you get sick of their BS and start doing the policing for them, look out. Because they or their enablers will consider you the actual bad guy.
…holy shit. Holy. Jesus Christ, give me a minute to process this.
I…have never considered that the whole point of someone harassing you was to get a rise out of you. I have lived my whole life thinking that “they’re just doing it to upset you” was a completely legitimate criticism of MY behavior.
I am eighteen years old and I have considered myself a freak for my entire life because I was always upset.
Holy fuck, this would mean I was within my rights to be angry all those years because…people were trying to make me angry? That…that logic might take a few days–months–years to settle in.
So I don’t know how it happened. I read Lord of the Rings and I was like “Legolas and Gimli, obviously, they literally sail off into the sunset together”, but I wasn’t especially hardcore on the subject, and then I talked with my mother about Legolas and Gimli (she’s shipped it since she was like eleven, so) and I was still kind of laid back about it.
And then one day I just fucking woke up and I was like “LEGOLAS AND GIMLI ARE MY NEWEST TO-THE-DEATH, RIDE-OR-DIE, YOU’LL-PRY-IT-FROM-MY-COLD-DEAD-HANDS SHIP” and like what the fuck, how did that transition happen.
…..relatedly, does anyone want to suggest any good blogs/fics?
being a female means needing to see 10 different doctors to get a proper diagnosis because they always think you’re exaggerating and/or lying
define proper diagnosis. I mean, does that just mean the diagnosis you want?
no :) it means going to 10 different doctors who disbelieved your symptoms until the 11th found cysts on your ovaries :) which may mean infertility :) sit on a cactus :)
I call bullshit
Of course you do. Like the first 10 doctors. 😒
I call bullshit on the story. If you think you have an issue you should see a specialist not just your PCP.
Like the 4 “specialists” I saw for the crippling numbness in my face and legs I had for over a year while they told me it was “stress”? When it was finally found that I had scars on my brain and spine? Those “specialists” we’re male neurologist who wouldn’t give me an MRI because “women stress too much”. Go fuck yourself.
MY SPINE WAS BROKEN FOR 2 YEARS BECAUSE MY DOCTORS TOLD ME I JUST HAD BAD CRAMPS AND REFUSED TO TAKE XRAYS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. WHEN WILL BOYS REALIZE THEIR EXPERIENCES ARENT STANDARD???? I ALSO LOVE THIS IDEA THAT YOU CAN JUST GO TO A SPECIALIST WHENEVER YOU WANT LOL IF OUR PCP DOESNT BELIEVE US WHEN WE TELL THEM OUR SYMPTOMS THEY ARENT GONNA REFER US TO A SPECIALIST YOU FUCKING MOLDY WALNUT
My parents began noticing something large in my throat, saw a specialist….Guess what? Told me to lose some weight..even though I wasn’t overweight. I would have my period for weeks at a time. Was told that it was teenage hormones and stress.
Two fucking years later I attempted suicide they ran a battery of tests as required and bam! They find out that I have untreated Hashimoto’s. The “thing” was a goiter. Possible symptoms of an untreated thyroid disease is the goiter, unexplained weight gain, and depression. All they had to do was test my blood, but they said young people don’t have thyroid problems. 😒
-Allie
Ten years ago, my mother—who is a pretty tough cookie—started feeling both ridiculously wired, anxious, and incredibly emotional. Every doctor she saw told her she was going through early menopause, even though she was still menstruating. Her health declined to point where she was barely sleeping, losing weight, and crying constantly, which was a huge red flag because my mother never cries. Finally, she went to see another doctor 2.5 hours away who referred her to an endocrinologist. And what did the endocrinologist say? He diagnosed her with one of the most advanced cases of Grave’s Disease he had even seen, and said if she had gone just a few more months without being treated, she could have FUCKING DIED.
Also, it turned out that her thyroid levels had been moving out of the normal range in a progressive pattern for years, but nobody bothered to look at her past test results until after the diagnosis. They would just do a test, see that it was “in the normal range” and leave it at that. She could have caught it before she even had symptoms, instead of basically being accused of having hysteria.
i had a brain aneurysm/hemorrhage ten years ago, doctors still tell me im faking my disability BECAUSE YOU CAN TOTALLY FAKE LIMITED MOVEMENT OF THE LEFT SIDE
My sister had intercranial hypertension which was causing headaches, dizzy spells and loss of vision, and you know what the hospital told her? She was being a hysterical girl and making it up. A few weeks later she spent roughly a month in hospital and had several lumbar punctures to relieve her RECORD HIGH spinal pressure that was causing so much strain on her brain and optic nerves she was being sent blind.
Everytime I see this post (and it’s been a good 5/6 times), it has different stories and experiences of women who have been horribly mistreated by doctors and it just blows my mind that this is so big. It’s absolutely disgusting how terribly women are treated in the medical world and something needs to be done about that.
my friend lea had back pain, then pain in her legs and feet, and then numbness. despite seeing 7 different doctors over 2 years, by the time they found the cancer it was inoperable. chemo and radiation didn’t work. the cancer spread. she died and left behind a 5 year old daughter.
A few years ago I would go through spells where I literally could not stand on my own and I couldn’t get out of bed. I would be freezing and too weak to eat. I would keep having heart palpitations as well. I got up the money to go to a clinic and they told me it was just stress and to basically just work on chilling out. I saved up money for a few weeks to do this and I pretty much get a “chill out” from them.
As time went on it got worse, most noticeably the heart palpitations were happening almost constantly. I went again to a different clinic and was told it was normal and that it was probably stress. They did no tests, and they told me it would “just go away”.
Two weeks later I ended up collapsing going down some stairs, and at the hospital it was discovered that I had such severe anemia that my heart could barely keep up with trying to get enough oxygen to my body. I had developed left ventricular hypertrophy (my heart muscle is too big) and because of them ignoring me and dismissing me I’m at a much higher risk of heart attacks and stroke now.
I went to the doctor with severe intermittent pain in my upper right stomach area that was so bad I had to miss school. Despite the fact that my period has been on a regular 3 month cycle for years, and I still had two months left until my period, my doctor told me it was period related cramps and or indigestion. 2 months later I’m in the hospital getting my gallbladder removed. It was so obstructed that there was gangrene developing my my system.
So…everyone who’s given me shit for that one post (about medicine and equal treatment and shit) can just read this because I’m sick of defending my case.
I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard.
FEMALE HEART ATTACKS
I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is description is so incredibly visceral that I feel like I have an entire new understanding of what it feels like to be living the symptoms on the inside. Women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have… you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor the we see in movies. Here is the story of one woman’s experience with a heart attack:
"I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, ‘A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.
A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you’ve been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you’ve swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn’t have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation–the only trouble was that I hadn’t taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.
After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).
This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. ‘AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening – we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven’t we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I’m having a heart attack!
I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn’t be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else… but, on the other hand, if I don’t, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.
I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics… I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn’t feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.
I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don’t remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like ‘Have you taken any medications?’) but I couldn’t make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.
I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stents.
Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.
1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body, not the usual men’s symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn’t know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they’ll feel better in the morning when they wake up… which doesn’t happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you’ve not felt before. It is better to have a ‘false alarm’ visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!
2. Note that I said ‘Call the Paramedics.’ And if you can take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!
Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road.
Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what’s happening with you instead of the road.
Do NOT call your doctor – he doesn’t know where you live and if it’s at night you won’t reach him anyway, and if it’s daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn’t carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later.
3. Don’t assume it couldn’t be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it’s unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive to tell the tale.“
Reblog, repost, Facebook, tweet, pin, email, morse code, fucking carrier pigeon this to save a life!
I wish I knew who the author was. I’m definitely not the OP, actually think it might be an old chain email or even letter from back in the day. The version I saw floating around Facebook ended with “my cardiologist says mail this to 10 friends, maybe you’ll save one!” And knew this was way too interesting not to pass on.
okay, i know that us folks with mental illnesses tend to sort of cluster together, so here’s a reminder for everyone with depression & anxiety who has friends with depression & anxiety:
other people’s mental illnesses are not your fault.
while it is a good and kind thing to support your friends struggling with anxiety and depression, it is never your responsibility. you are not a bad or evil person for saying “caring for you isn’t something i’m prepared to do; please find someone else to support you.”
you are never, ever, ever required to provide energy and care to someone to the point where it is detrimental to your own mental health.
if you are your friend’s only source of care, your first priority should be to find them backup sources of care. you cannot be on duty 24/7. it’s not fair to you.
you cannot cure them. you cannot fix them. you cannot save them.
ultimately, their recovery, self-care, and ability to live day-to-day with their illness is something they have to do. they don’t have to do it alone– but they have to do it.
sometimes their mental illnesses make them do shitty things to you. when that happens, you’re allowed to feel hurt. you’re allowed to be pissed off. understand: their mental illnesses, and the behaviors associated with it, are not their fault. it hurts them just as much as it hurts you. that does not mean the impact of it on you is not real and painful.
sometimes you’ll feel frustrated by your friend, or exhausted by them, because caring for others is frustrating and exhausting. this does not make you a bad person. taking out that frustration and exhaustion on your friend is a dick move. but you’re not a dick for feeling those feelings. take a deep breath, acknowledge your own emotions, and move forward.
if your friend relies on you to the extent that your life becomes about caring for them, something has gone wrong.
Please reblog this post if you’d go and see a movie starring Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Dormer as lesbian assassins.
File under: things I didnt know I needed until five seconds ago
can we fit lupita nyong’o in there somewhere
Lupita can play the government agent trying to track them down, except she ends up working with them when it turns out her bosses are corrupt.
Hoping we can fit Anna Kendrick in as the nerdy/over-caffeinated/talks-too-fast computer whiz who they are sent to kill but they end up liking her too damn much they make her a part of the team.
And Birgitte Hjort Sørensen as the really hot Swedish villainess who goes out of her way to protect Anna Kendrick’s character because she’s the key to a multimillion dollar exposé.
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
sunscreen
a travel alarm clock or watch
mylar emergency blanket
a backpack is a must
downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
sleeping bag
travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
swiss army knife
can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.
I really needed this
I’m bringing this back for December to remind everyone.
You did not waste your year.
If you made it this far, that’s already not wasting your year.
You made it through the year, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you saw the sun and felt the rain, and most importantly, you’re still here.
trelawney worked at hogwarts for like 17 years so she must at some point have had at least one sick day
so someone must have had to teach her classes and I really hope it was mcgonagall because can you imagine
‘this class is like 90% bullshit so I strongly recommend you just enjoy your tea because the tea leaves aren’t going to tell you anything. you can sit staring into glass balls and deciphering the meaning of your reflections if you want, but doing your transfiguration homework would be a better use of everyone’s time. I’m leaving now, if professor trelawney asks what you were taught, tell her I showed you an obscure form of palm reading and you can demonstrate by pointing at your hands and looking thoughtful - she’ll never know the difference’
Okay i thought I misheard at first but no, I def did not. For any leverage fans who realized one of Mikel Dayan’s lines wasn’t subtitled in the first ep of leverage she shows up in…. She’s saying that their leaders plan led them right to Eliot spencer, and it isn’t translated because she ends her sentence with ‘kus ha'ima shelcha’, literally ‘the c*nt of your mother’ but basically used like ‘son of a b*tch’.
“I’m grounded in who I am, and I am a confident black man. A confident, Nigerian, black, chocolate man,” he said. “I’m proud of my heritage, and no man can take that away from me. I wasn’t raised to fear people with a difference of opinion. They are merely victims of a disease in their mind. To get into a serious dialogue with people who judge a person based on the melanin in their skin? They’re stupid, and I’m not going to lose sleep over people.”
“I just don’t get it. You guys got every single alien in this movie imaginable to man. With tentacles, five eyes. Aliens that, if they existed, we’d definitely have an issue,” he said. “We’d have to get them to the government and be, like, ‘What are you?’ Yet what you want to do is fixate on another human being’s color. You need to go back to school and unlearn what you have learned.”
Chug your ale each time Dickens introduces a new character.
Do a shot each time you look over your shoulder during 1984. Two shots if you get up to close the curtains.
Slam a Red Bull every time you turn the page in Wuthering Heights. Just to stay awake, really.
Take a sip of wine for every Biblical sin you’ve committed. Start at Genesis.
Drinking with friends
Take turns trying to recite the infamous 11,282-word sentence from Ulysses in one breath. Whoever stops first has to drink the most.
Smuggle booze into a library. Or go to your bookshelves. Pull out books at random, playing “Never have I ever” with books: “Never have I ever read Throne of Glass,” etc. All who have read the book in question must take a drink.
Take turns reading passages from The Bell Jar aloud. Whoever cries hardest must be cut off from alcohol immediately. This is followed by a group hug and gentle rocking.
Group-read a Shakespeare play and take a shot whenever there’s a joke about venereal disease, gender roles, or sexual relations.
Me, writing:
Have I already had someone shrug recently? Yeah I think she shrugged like two minutes ago already. I'm pretty sure I've written someone chuckling like five times. Everyone chuckles so goddamn much. Maybe everything is just super amusing here. How about I switch it up a bit and have someone raise an eyebrow curiously yeah that'll work hell yeah
If you have the Calculator% app or any other hider app(things that hide apps and pictures), GET RID OF IT QUICKLY. This jackass district attorney has put the lives of a lot of teens in danger by revealing these apps to parents. Now parents everywhere are going through their kids’ phones, looking for trouble(which they’ll likely find).
Closeted teens everywhere are likely in a lot of danger right now. If you use a hider app to hide resources or a diary or anything else, it’s very possible your family might find it.
Please please help yourself and remove these apps immediately! Switch your SD card if you need to! I’m not even trying to scare people but I know that when I was a teen, had mom found my hider app I would have been in for a world of hurt. Please be safe!
Today I met a woman, whose age she did not mention because she is a lady, was buying a lot of Star Wars merch because we had it on sale. And she was telling me that she couldn’t wait to see the new one and how she was going to stay up and see the midnight release and take pictures of people in costumes. She was so excited, and then she leans in close:
“You know, all these young men at these conventions- they see me and they ask me trivia about this that and the other thing and I tell them- ‘Son, I went to see the first one in 1977 before you were even a twinkle in your daddy’s eye.’ If I don’t know the answer, its because I damn forgot.”
exams would never be scheduled on christmas. no important sporting event would ever be played on easter. it’s about time that jewish holy days are given the same respect.
Exactly.
I should add that this isn’t limited to us Jews, either. In the past two years or so, both the Olympics and and the World Cup coincided with Ramadan, and a lot of Muslim athletes were left in the really shitty position of having to choose between either not fasting or putting their athletic performance at risk. If Christians had a fasting month, you bet your ass no sporting events would take place until it was over.
I am here for the Religious Solidarity movements.
Yes? All of this? Like I heard someone make the case that there are ‘too many’ Jewish or Islamic major holidays to give students all of them off and I was just like ??????? I recognize and appreciate that I benefit massively from being Christian, because I get my holidays off due to the fact that the school system literally built their breaks around them. Yes. This. These things. I am so here for the Religious Solidarity thing that I can’t even articulate how here I am.
Okay maybe this is just me giving the benefit of the doubt to the woman I basically idolize but I don’t think JKR is just showing up ten years late to the party trying to take credit for the idea of poc Hermione????
She specifically said the only canon traits were frizzy hair, brown eyes, and cleverness so I interpreted the tweet as her expressing appreciation for other people’s visions, not trying to claim it as her own
I wonder if J.K. Rowling will ever actually write an important character as a minority, or if she will just leave it open and then claim it later when it doesn’t affect her sales so she can seem very politically aware
this! exactly.
Okay but she didn’t say “yes this is how I’ve always imagined her #officially canon” she says she LOVES black Hermione. As in appreciated the vision that other people have come up with
Not that it wouldn’t have been nice to have more representation explicit in the books but maybe it is POSSIBLE???? that she has since become morE AWARE?? that representation is important???? And out of respect for the influence of her series, is trying to do better now????
But that’s crazy. Everyone knows people never change, are always as ignorant as they were twenty years ago when they first started writing aNd defINITely wouldn’t do anything to give an impression to the contrary for any reason but to make themself look good
• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.
• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.
• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.
Useful information, esp. if you haven’t taken self defense.
I reblogged this once before to add this and I’ll do it again…
keep your wrist straight.
You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend. I actually can’t believe this isn’t in there.
Other good pointers:
if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if he’s wearing loose pants. There’s no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - you’re punching your bones into their bones and ow). If you’re going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.
see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards
other delicate areas:
the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if you’re being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, he’ll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)
the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless you’re super strong, your punch probably won’t wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)
Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.
the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)
the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. It’s all cartilage so it probably won’t hurt you all that much and most people will be like “DUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELL”)
the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attacker’s back to face you, try to hit’em in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You can’t really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)
if you’re held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isn’t pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit
-Also, remember that a guy’s junk is not an off-button. Don’t think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesn’t drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.
-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.
-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch.
-Yelling and shouting makes you scary.
Nothing much to add to this, it’s pretty much all there. So. Reblog. Oh, also, it’s really easy to break a nose - go for the eyes too. All it takes to avoid a shot to the throat is tucking your chin.
Also, that part about the ear - don’t punch. An open hand over the ear hurts a lot.
Tumblr teaching me how to fuck a bitch up
Also if you fuck up their face it’ll be easier for police to identify the attacker.
If someone gets you from behind and you cant punch them, go for the underside of the upper-arm. A bad pinch there is legit so painful because that skin is super sensitive. Also this cant be stressed enough, if the attacker is a guy then fucking rip his junk off.
And try your best to stay off the ground!! Keep a wider stance, bend your knees- do what ever you can to stay balanced
A couple other tips!
Even if your attacker is female, a solid knee or kick to the crotch will hurt.
Tip for chokeholds: if you can force your chin into the crook of their elbow (like described above), you’re right next to some sensitive tissue. A hard bite will be unpleasant for you, but REAL PAINFUL for them.
Aim for joints if you can–slamming a kick into the outside of their knee can rip tendons, pop ligaments, and damage bone. If you have a corner at hand, try to slam their arm across it at the elbow. Grab a finger if you can and try to snap it at the bottom knuckle–this is also a good trick for pushy guys at bars/parties/whatever–by jerking it back at hard as you possibly can.
Try to use your environment! This can be hard in the heat of the moment, but trust me, if you can slam their head into a wall or hit them with something heavy, they’re going to need a minute before they can come at you again. That minute can be unspeakable valuable.
There’s no such thing as a dirty move when you’re fighting to protect yourself: yes, kick that guy in the balls, nail that girl with a headbutt to the nose, kick them while they’re down, bite, scratch, rip out hair, stab your fingers into their eyes.
It is not a crime or a failure to get help. If you’re being attacked on the street, scream ‘fire’–unfortunately more effective than most other things. If you’re being attacked in a building, try to break a window or get into a hallway, and then scream. If you have the option to get someone to back you up, take it.
Nor is it a crime or a failure to run. If you manage to put your attacker on the ground, or somehow mildly incapacitate them, don’t assume the fight is over. As someone so astutely pointed out before, adrenaline can work wonders, so they might be able to get up even if you’ve done damage. If you’re close enough to a crowded area or a locking door to get there fast, sprint. Your best bet is to either render yourself inaccessible (locking door) or render the witness count unacceptable (crowd).
If you’re not close to a crowded area or another ‘safe’ location, take the moment when your attacker is incapacitated to kick them as hard as you can. I’d recommend the back to avoid the risk of them grabbing your ankle and taking you down with them. Aim for the kidneys (just below the end of the ribs), but barring that, stomp on them. I’m serious, stomp the shit out of them. Use your heel, put as much of your weight into it as you can, and try to shatter a hand or break their ribs. (Warning about stomping someone’s ribs: this may cause complications including fractured ribs, punctured lung, pneumothorax, etc, and those can be lethal, so…like…be aware. Relatedly, yes, a palm strike to the nose can cause the bone of the nose to damage the brain, causing death and death-like symptoms, but it’s sort of unlikely that you could manage it by accident.)
In the event that your attacker gets you on the ground beneath them: this is the most tactically disastrous position you could be in. You WANT to be on top, where you have the freedom of movement to punch them in the throat/nose/solar plexus and then get back up. First, you need to limit your attacker’s movement, which means going against your instinct to escape. The best way to keep someone limited in this position is to lock your legs around their waist as tightly as you can, just above the hips–the thigh muscles are insanely strong, so they’re unlikely to be able to just shrug you off. This brings your attacker closer to you, and you can further immobilize them by hooking one arm around their neck if you’re strong enough. Once you have them trapped like this (having someone locked into this position, with your legs around their waits, is called having them in your guard), you have a degree of control, and they’re too close to punch you. I recommend (from experience) jamming a thumb into their trachea (windpipe, right at the hollow of their throat). Alternatively, clap both hands over their ears as hard as you can. If you’re not lucky, this will be incredibly disorienting and rather painful to boot. If you ARE lucky, you might blow their eardrum. Slam your forehead into their nose, try to break it. Use your close range to try to stab a finger into their eye (like I said, fight dirty). The ultimate goal is to make your attacker disoriented enough to scramble out from underneath them, roll them so that you’re on top, or get up and beat them to a vertical position. Anything that will accomplish that goal is fair game.
Aaaaaand that’s what I’ve got off the top of my head for actual combat, if anyone wants tips for avoiding combat in the first place message me. It’s possible that I might be a little paranoid, but hey…who’s judging.
Oh. Forgot one thing. If someone’s pinning you to a wall and you have their face close to your face, take as deep a breath as you possibly can, get close, and scream like a goddamn banshee. Embrace your inner fire alarm. Remarkably alarming at close quarters, they’ll probably let you go or at least loosen their grip for long enough to get a good hit in.
i think it’s time people realize that there is an actual need for shows to be professionally filmed and sold in order to stop bootlegs being filmed because no matter /how/ many times actors talk about bootlegs and ask for people to not film them people are still going to do it. Broadway is an incredibly hard thing to have access to when you’re a teenager or young adult and don’t live close enough to New York because overall, it costs a lot of money. There needs to be perspective from both sides and each side needs to give a little to take a little. Stop making theatre closed off for those who can’t afford to see it. Don’t just complain about a problem, realize that there IS a solution to it and fix it because at the end of the day, people are still going to want to see shows from Broadway and /will/ find a way to see them, illegally or not.
No but seriously.
This all goes hand-in-hand with the whole “NO ONE CARES ABOUT BROADWAY ANYMORE~~~ /SADFACE” BS spewed by Broadway industry/NYC tourism board people.
Like, they’ve got this narrative in their head that people just suddenly lost all interest in theater one day and are trying to paint themselves as the victims of an uncaring public completely oblivious to the fact that attendance went down around the same time that ticket prices started inflating into the hundreds for seemingly no other reason than “they felt like it.”
Back in the ‘90s you could get orchestra seating tickets for a popular new Tony Award winning show for somewhere between $80-$100.
Now? Theaters are charging the same amount for seats in the nosebleed section with an obstructed view. It’s ridiculous. Orchestra seat tickets these days are going for as high as $500. That’s a 400%increase over the course of twenty fucking years.
Imagine spending ~$1000 on a night out with your partner and that doesn’t even cover the cost of dinner.
Outside of lotteries – which not every theater does, aren’t highly advertised, are not easily accessible to people who work/are visiting – it’s literally impossible to buy a pair of tickets without ending up spending somewhere between $200-$400 unless you’re seeing a show that’s been running for over ten years.
People can’t afford to go to Broadway anymore.
Or if they do, they have to save up or wait for a sudden influx of money and then choose one show that they really want to see that year and hope anything else will still be open by the time they get the money to see that.
You cannot continue to price more and more people out of Broadway theaters and then 1) complain that no one’s coming anymore so they must not care, and 2) complain that people are finding other ways to try to experience these unnecessarily exclusive shows.
The film industry was partially founded on the idea of making theater more accessible to people who couldn’t patronize Broadway. When did the theater industry decide that film was its enemy?
No wait, I’m not done.
People want to see the shows.
That’s why bootlegs exist! Not because people are selfish, but because they can’t afford the only means of actually seeing them.
You really think that people who pay for bootlegs wouldn’t happily pay for a legitimateprofessional recording?
Why do you think Andrew Lloyd Webber is slowly working his way through his entire catalogue and putting out DVD’s? Of even the FAILED projects! And people are watching them! They’re watching them so enthusiastically that he’s in the process of reviving at least one of those epic failures!
For fuck’s sake even the Metropolitan Opera has a partnership with one movie theater chain to livestream their productions because they understand this very basic concept that people will pay to experience something they really want to but not if they can’t afford it.
Also, What does it say that every time a musical is filmed and released, it always has big named stars attached to it, it’s always labeled with ‘movie of the year’ and always tops the box office for the weekend it’s released?
The fact that Phantom of the Opera with gerard butler earned back more than twice it’s budget despite heavy criticism. Hairspray from 2007 earned almost 3 times. Mama Mia earned back 12 times its budget.
Because i can afford ten dollars to see a movie, i might even be inclined to see a movie twice or three times in theatres, and still buy it on DVD for 25$ when it comes out. which, all in all is less than 60$.
Clearly the point ins’t that musicals aren’t popular, despite what pop culture would like to tell you about theatre kids. Musicals are always popular, and movie musicals almost always do well financially, and id bet money its because it’s a lot easier to take a chance on seeing a new movie for less than the cost of a dinner than to see a broadway show for the cost of a mortgage payment.
I can think of three live shows filmed, off the top of my head (Rent, Shrek and Cats) and they’re all very well done, (i mean, cats as a show is kind of generic) I own a copy of all three, and to be honest I’d rather have copies of these shows as filmed on stage then the ones i have that are actual movies. Stage performance is an entirely different medium than film performance and you can’t really encourage people to embrace a new art form if youc ant expose them to it.
Might I also add that there are also people interested in Broadway productions, but they don’t live in the US or Britain, so they don’t get to see it, because half of the productions don’t get translated and performed here. And if they do, some of them don’t have the quality of the original performence.
So it’s not just about the tickets. I might have enough money to actually buy a ticket to Broadway, but not a ticket to London or New York!
People shaming jo for supporting a black hermione now, but in past saying emma was exactly how she envisioned her are really missing the point. Jo is white, and she saw a lot of herself in the character so it makes sense for her to see hermione as white. But despite this she has always, ALWAYS said it’s amazing how people see the characters differently and she has always supported that.
So don’t start attacking her now for being fake, instead maybe question why you have to be so bitter and cynical despite this happy and amazing casting.
yo btw if u ever have a crush on an aromantic person or anyone on the aro spectrum please don’t try to put the other person on the spot for not returning your feelings.
Like, don’t go “oh my gosh imagine if you weren’t aro! We would have so much fun…” Or “aw man, I wish you weren’t aro…” Because that’s disrespectful and makes it seem like the other person is at fault for the feelings YOU developed.
So if you ever have a crush on your friend who’s aro, please don’t be rude or disrespectful. Don’t invalidate their identity and romantic orientation because you want a romantic relationship with them. They don’t.
This goes for everyone. It’s really rude to tell someone that their sexuality or gender (who them are) inconveniences you because you like them.
What the fuck, is this a thing people do? Who does this? This is so shitty. If you want to privately be sad that someone is (FOR WHATEVER REASON) not returning your romantic interest, that’s okay. But then remind yourself that…shit, man, that person doesn’t owe you anything. No. Nothing. Your unrequited feelings are your problem, not their fault.
I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.
Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:
A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target
For example:
Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.
What went wrong here?
Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.
Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy
A rule of thumb for men:
If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
Listen to them about what they tell you
If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men
tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.
okay but please please tell me someone sat down and wrote after-mulan fic where some days li shang wakes up and rolls over and murmurs mulan’s name and reaches out for her only to hear “call me ping today” whispered back
and how everyone else not in the know thinks he has a wife and a secret army boyfriend and that he’s hiding one from the other
and someone tries to tell mulan and she just collapses laughing because they’re close but totally wrong
and li shang all the time just deals with it because he loves ping and he loves mulan and he doesn’t care what name he’s using or what gender he’s kissing as long as he can sneak one kiss a day
the dragon kind of creeps him out sometimes but it’s all cool
There’s been so many studies on this it’s ridiculous and I think we need to stop focusing on the why and just respect people’s genders and stop forcing gender roles on to people (and I totally see how a TERF could twist this so don’t even try). However, as a genderqueer person I do get a little joy from this. Now we just need someone science-y to point out sex is a construct.
get fucked gender essentialists
someone send my dad this lmao
HUMANS ARE A SEXUALLY MONOMORPHIC SPECIES
HUMANS ARE A SEXUALLY MONOMORPHIC SPECIES
HUMANS ARE A SEXUALLY MONOMORPHIC SPECIES
This is pmuch common sense. We are not anglerfish. We are not elephant seals. We are not orangutans. We are not peacocks. We are sexually monomorphic - that means there are literally no actual difference between males and females outside of our genitalia, and humans are similar to crows and dolphins in that aspect. And thus, our rigid concepts of gender and sex roles are entirely social constructs. One based on a myth of sexual dimorphism that does not exist in our species.
Science, motherfuckers
THERE WE GO. Now when someone tries to de-legitimize your gender identity, your response can be “SCIENCE BITCH I’M VALID AS FUCK.”
“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is a phrase often thrown around to prove that women are materialistic, but if you listen to the song you realize that it’s really about how men think a woman’s looks and youth are the only valuable assets she has. They’ll trade her in when she “loses her charms”, so she needs to collect diamonds and valuables to sustain herself when she’s old and alone.
Consider that the song was written and performed during a time when women couldn’t find a job for decent pay, that the only way they could survive financially was to tie themselves to a man and hope he’d stick around and provide support.
The real message is that men are shallow and flighty, so take their sweet words with a grain of salt and make sure you get something real out of the relationship.
