no mom I don’t want a boyfriend I want a kingdom
reblog if your family has a plastic bag with plastic bags inside
we need a universal hand signal for “my parents don’t know about that”
LOL y’all ever seen them “pro dark skin” posts/blogs but none the people on there are actually dark skin. The darkest they get is like Keke Palmer. When i talk about dark skin i want to see DARK SKIN
This
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a puppy or kitten is a 15-year commitment. this holiday season, don’t give one as a gift unless you know the person is ready for that. don’t give them to children who are going to get tired of it when it gets bigger. too many animals end up in the pound in january.
none of your mythological faves were even remotely straight like welcome 2 the real world jackass hercules had a fuckton of anal sex
People believe what they choose to.
it’s literally not a matter of belief there is literally a vase with a painting of zeus fucking his cupbearer ganymede while ganymede is holding a dildo like u can’t just not believe in thousand year old pottery
O H MY GOD
i mean dude
2013 even looks like a shitty number to me and it was a shitty year
2014 looks so much more appealing to me.
2014 is going to be a good year, i can feel it.
no words can explain how wrong i was.
LITERALLY NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT 2015 Y’ALL ARE ON YOUR OWN
Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
SHOTS FIRED
- How bodies decompose
- Wilderness survival skills
- Mob mentality
- Other cultures
- What it takes for a human to die in a given situation
- Common tropes in your genre
- Average weather for your setting
yoooo
In starbucks taking photos of a guy taking creepshots of young college girls. It’s currently a standoff, because he realized what I’m doing and is paralyzed with indecision.
Update: I have told him he can put them on reddit if I can put him on tumblr. He’s turning red. People are staring. He’s showing me that he is deleting them.
A god among us mortals, tbh.
when my mom took care of babies my favorite story is about this toddler named eli who took a while to talk and everyone was concerned about it but one day my dad was like “eli, can you say ‘car’?” and he looks at my dad and goes “yes, i can. why do you ask?”
my ex boyfriend’s first word was “mother” - followed by “i’d like another bottle of milk please.” - kids who don’t talk until they can bust out a whole sentence are the fucking greatest.