i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability. think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.
as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck
Yo, you know this is a huge part of the Scarlet Witch’s powers, yeah? It’s called probability manipulation (duh) and it’s fucking kickass.
WHEN THE WRITERS OF “DOCTOR WHO” FOUND OUT THAT DAVID TENNANT HAD TROUBLE SAYING WORDS ENDING WITH -OON WITHOUT REVERTING BACK TO HIS NATURAL SCOTTISH ACCENT, THEY WROTE AN ENTIRE EPISODE AND INVENTED A NEW TYPE OF ALIEN JUST SO THEY COULD MAKE HIM SAY “A JUDOON PLATOON UPON THE MOON.”
my feminist rage literally fuels me I was struggling to open a new pickle jar and my dad said “give it to me I’m a man” and I looked him dead in the eye and suddenly opened the jar without a problem I’m like the feminist hulk
The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.
No one here seems interested in the grimy parts of mental health. Everyone wants to talk about mental illness as quiet introverts drinking tea and nervously stuttering over words. No one ever talks about symptoms like paranoia or hallucinations or hypersexuality…
my cat civilization has been going for 27 years now. we have developed writing and have friendly trade relations with a caravan of lizards. i’m told you can achieve space travel at some point. it’s amazing.
the best part about pacific rim is that for the rest of human history there’s just gonna be that section of time known as “those few years we had to use giant robots to beat giant interdimensional lizards”
“what’s worse? getting kicked in the balls or childbirth? i guess no one will ever know haha”
as a cis male i feel like i should say getting a kick in my baloney pony would not hurt as much as having my VAGINA STRETCHED OPEN AND FORCING A TINY HUMAN THROUGH IT WHY IS THIS EVEN AN ARGUMENT HAVE YOU SEEN A PERSON IN CHILDBIRTH YOU CHICKEN FRIED FUCK
““Your generation would probably ‘livetweet’ the apocalypse” you say, and you laugh
You mean it as an insult, and I understand,
Or you don’t
because the word lies awkwardly on you tongue, stumbles as it leaves your lips, air quotes visible
You meant it as an insult, so you don’t understand, when I look into your eyes and say “Yes”
Because we would.
It would be our duty, as citizens on this earth
to document it’s end the best way we know
and if that means a second by second update
of the world going up in flames, or down in rain, or crushed under the feet of invading monsters
so be it.
It would mean a second by second update of
“I love you”
“I’m scared”
“Are you all right?”
“Stay close”
“Be brave”
It would mean a second by second update of the humanity’s connection with one another,
Proof of empathy, love, and friendship between people who may have never met in the flesh.
So don’t throw the word ‘Livetweet’ at me like a dagger, meant to tear at my ‘teenage superiority’
Because if the citizens of Pompeii, before they were consumed by fire,
had a chance to tell their friends and family throughout Rome
“I love you”
“I’m scared”
“Don’t forget me”
Don’t you think they’d have taken the chance?”—
Sometimes it hurts when people scorn internet cultre (via herrsassyfras)
i find the idea of platonic soul mates so fucking amazing, like imagine finding someone who you feel complete with but you don’t have to worry about losing them to messy romance because they’ll be your best friend forever instead
soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them
There is a plausible theory that no IKEA employee has ever actually applied for the position. Instead, they were all once mere customers looking to buy reasonably priced furniture… But they got lost in the store, unable to find an exit. Each night after close, smartly dressed office people sweep the aisles for poor, aimless souls. They tenderly dry their tears, hand them a t-shirt, and whisper, “Welcome aboard.”
you know when you think you’re a little less marvel trash than you used to be but then marvel releases something new and you realise that nothing has changed…. nothing will ever change….
self care is valid and good, but at some point you gotta step back and check that you’re actually truly caring for yourself, which sometimes means bullying yourself into getting up and getting air and light, and eating healthy, and doing the things you dont really want to do but you know are good for you. sometimes taking naps and letting yourself off are the best options to be good to yourself, but sometimes theyre not, and you should be careful about it.
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WATCH TV SHOWS FOR A SINGLE CHARACTER OR SHIP. BECAUSE YOU SHOULD DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.UNLESS BANK ROBBERY MAKES YOU HAPPY, IN THAT CASE, JUST CHEAT AT MONOPOLY.
why dont we ever talk about how movies condition girls to associate glasses and curly hair with ugliness because that is so fucking damaging to young girls who grow up seeing girls who look like them always be the “before” of every makeover
read this post. read it again. read it two more times. read it aloud. i want this to be ingrained into peoples’ minds
Can we please just talk about how sassy Professor McGonagall was?
Just look:
"Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?"
I mean really:
"I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look at Umbridge directly in the eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher."
So much sass:
"Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?"
She's just full of it:
"I doubt it will make much of a difference," said Professor McGonagall coldly, "unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the entrance hall."
Her zingers are the best:
"Well, usually when a person shakes their head," said McGonagall coldly, "they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans --"
Seriously though:
"You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don't let you off homework today. I assure you that if you do die, you need not hand it in."
And finally, my all-time favorite:
"It unscrews the other way."
