Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.

plantybabe:

Girls are such beautiful creatures but u only ever see a hot guy like once a blue moon on the 3rd last tuesday of july at exactly 12:35 or u miss it

exghoulfriend:

it is crucial to believe and respect girls when they say a guy is giving them bad vibes even if they don’t give you a reason why

tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

blackqueerbravado:

acepeggy:

okay hear me out aromantic natasha who as a ~thing~ with clint and every time somebody asks them to define their relationship natasha raises an eyebrow while clint makes vaguely exasperated hand gestures

#all i can think of is clint waving around a coffee pot and making noncommittal noises then flapping his hands near his chest then shrugging and chugging the coffee pot #and natasha’s like ‘yeah that exactly’

impwhoretant:

impwhoretant:

I’M CLEAN

i took

a shower

puyols-hairdresser:

when you’re doing school work and someone asks you what the answer is

benedictedcumberbabeof221:

I’m British and I can’t even make a nice cup of tea

rincewindsapprentice:

Some people love to shut down people who talk about trans and intersex issues by saying that they’re “only 1% of the population” and thus can be ignored since they “aren’t statistically significant enough.”

By that logic, we can now systematically ignore:

• Redheads
• The entire state of Rhode Island
• Anyone who makes over $500,000 a year
• Pacific Islanders
• Australia

ohitsjustkim:

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

oMGGGG

pizza cares

Pizza understands

pizza spelt its own name wrong

hiatus-is-killing-me:

jimmypagesunderagedgirlfriend:

a tEENAGER???… withPOLITCIAL OPINIONS?? no… politics for adults. this not affect you. go sit at kids table

(5 min later) this new generation of teenagers doesn’t care about anything besides parties and the internet

niceisneat:

here’s a tip

if someone says they don’t drink, they don’t fucking drink

respect it

stratogender:

ahoneyjumbleutopia:

stratogender:

ok but consider this: nonbinary superheroes

“are you a man or a woman?”
“I’m a hero”
“What gender are you”
“Super”

A+

shingeki-no-mass-effect:

dajo42:

realistically the space under my bed is very small so if a monster did in fact live there it would have to also be very small

it would be some kind of baby monster

i would have to look after it

The true horror: responsibility

pun-rocker:

You know why I love AUs? Because the whole point of them is that everything is changed, and yet these two people are still going to meet and fall in love- that they’re so set in stone and so meant to be that you can change literally everything in a hundred universes and they’ll fall in love over and over again. 

howlnatural:

Anyone who makes fun of fanfiction has never read really good fanfiction.