I wonder if beyonce has a booking agent or just wakes up fully dressed and says ‘I will sing tonight’ to a terrified assistant
i’m laughing so hard at this email i got from okcupid fuck
Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCKKKKKKK
do you ever realize that we spend our days hoping imaginary people will kiss each other
the-fandoms-have-the-phone-box:
imagine a series where everyone is already dead and enjoying the afterlife but the events start to happen and people start to revive so the plot focuses on people trying to cling to death because they dont want to go back to the world and live and have to put up with everything
so in this series instead of the usual “everyone dies” tragedy the problem becomes that “everyone lives”
WRITE A BOOK
do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely
do i like you or do i like that you like me
do I like you or do I like the idea of you
do i want to be in a relationship or do i just want to prove that i’m worthy of one
If the Winter Soldier was responsible for the Kennedy assassination and Magneto tried to STOP the Kennedy assassination then that must mean somehow Magneto lost a fight to a guy wITH AN ENTirE ARm MADE OF METAL
if i intimidate u in anyway but u want to be my friend this a sign to talk to me right now
so in her lifetime, a woman can lose about ten gallons of blood through her period.
that’s enough blood loss to die twenty times
women are metal as fuck
*curtsies*
Dude, it’s not just women. ANYONE with a vagina is metal as fuck
AMERMRICA DOSNOT KNOW THE JOJ OF TETRIES CHOCLAY ORNAGE
WHAT THE HEC IS THAT I SWE TO FIBLAY IF THIS US AMITHER FANTACLAY CANDE WHEL MIPPLING A
heple
HOL DOKE YOU GINSA LILIP WIPLI TETRU
who’s gilli goshe oppler to film ass chili piss city and telma thelma brill wanks chocolay oranage eximpt evelemere
am I having a stroke
also kids shouldnt be scared of their parents. theres a difference between “im not gonna do this bad thing because i respect my parents and i dont want to disappoint them” and “im not gonna do this bad thing because im scared of what my parents will do to me if i do”
when boys have sleepovers do they sleep in the same bed like girls do or do the rules of no homo include sharing beds
girls always share beds. and covers and clothes and food and personal space. sometimes even bathrooms
Girls share everything.
#girls dont believe in no homo #all da homo #dont give a fuck.
straight: gotta be skinny as a stick. can’t be curvy. gotta be straight. straight as a ruler.
gay: happy
bisexual: you can only be attracted to two people in your life. choose wisely
pansexual: you have to be attracted to literally everyone. sorry bud i dont make the rules
polysexual: attracted to only the finest polyester fabrics
asexual: attracted to anything that starts with the letter a. ants? yep. agriculture? you got it. the alphabet? you better believe it buddy
…but not being sure if you’re ready to start:
NOT HAVING ANYTHING PLANNED
WRITING ANYWAY
Tumblr has taught me more about feminism, womens rights, rape culture, slut shaming, mental illness etc, more than school ever had. So don’t you dare tell me this website is a complete and utter waste of time
I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.
people were writing “hot or not” lists on the bathroom stalls when i was in 8th grade and the dean of students came on the morning announcements and said something i will never forget “we’ve got some bad apples at this school… and it’s applesauce season”
um so lemme get this straight…tiana starts her own business in a time where black women had next to no rights….mulan pretty much saves china and becomes a top ranking military official….but the annoying sister in frozen makes a throwaway line about being gassy and gets lauded as the the first feminist princess??
The amount of questions Bastille asks in thier songs really stresses me out
are you gonna age with grace? do you like the person you’ve become? can you fill the silence? how am i gonna be an optimist? how am i gonna get myself home?
like idk dan you figure it out
never going to be over the fact that Arthur and Molly Weasley had seven children of their own, and hardly enough money or space to make due, yet they never thought twice about having an extra space at the table or making one more sweater at Christmas for the people who came into their family by circumstance.
#people Harry should have seriously fucking considered naming his kids after
Girls, romanticize yourselves. You are a queen. You are a warrior. You are an enchantress. You are a mermaid. You are a goddess. You are all of these things and more, you are the stuff of fairytales.
Women, traumatize others. You are a dragon. You are a wolf. You are a bump in the night. You are the last thing they see in the darkness. You are all of these things and more, you are the heart of their fucking nightmares.
I am all of these things.