psa if you ever meet me in real life I am really sorry for how much I swear like it’s really not a joke I have a mouth on me like a fuckin sailor and I can usually turn it off around adults but if you’re under thirty five I will likely throw one ‘fuck’ in for every three words that leave my mouth it’s shocking
Ah, yes. “Fucking” is an indicator that a noun is coming, and there is a 40% chance that the noun is “fuck” or “fucker,” with an option on “shit.”
i wonder what effect wide-spread/public vampirism would have on the evolution of language
like i mean obviously i havent slept properly in like two days but seriously how does it evolve without the assistance of former generations dying out. do people use the words “grisbittyng” and “yolo” in the same sentence. are there parts of big cities where its like walking into a different century like are there neighbourhoods in chicago where people literally speak old english and the teachers at the schools use old english and like the people who live two blocks away speak a creole of ge’ez and polish and like. dude i want cultural implications of vampirism that go beyond bloodbanks i want linguistics and politics and medical science and history and religion, i want hypovolemic vampires who speak akkadian in the home and are devout worshippers of inanna and have a home care nurse to help with making sure the picc line theyre getting lactated ringers solution via isnt partially occluded!!! help
ok i have no excuse for this but
i just got my drivers license renewed and can you imagine the dol dealing with ‘what is your birthdate’ ‘august 27 1662′ ‘what’
but everyone else too, all the bureaucracy’s gonna be fucked
‘bloodtype?’ ‘no preference,just fresh’
‘sir are you a senior’ ‘i was born in the fifteenth century, i should hope so’ ‘sir i’ll need to see id’
and like—how do you deal with a population that’s collecting social security while being functionally 15 or 28 or 50 what do you do about them when they don’t die what does it mean to have a group whose physical ability is unchanging, is there a vampire draft, is there a separate database for vampire SSNs because they draw social security for different reasons what is going on with that
how do term limits work, is there a mandatory down period, or are vampires bound to the same term limits as mortals and if so are there protests about this
afa social security goes i would assume in this setting it would be based on physical ability rather than necessarily age for vampires, which is very similar to what it is for humans: you can get benefits if youre 65+ OR if you physically cannot work, id assume for vampires its just the latter or else “yeah ive been on retirement for 400 years” “you’re the size of a seven-year-old” “yeah and”
hypovolemia DOES NOT count if youre a vampire, some people seem to forget that. there’s IV saline as an adtl to blood, bc quite honestly vampires are wimps and “have you ever tried to drink blood that has half a cup of salt in it?? it’s disgusting”
oh dear god IDs the big question is ofc do they show up in photographs bc if not there is a big market for photo-realistic artists in the govt and in most big companies, bc IDs with descriptions are… pretty easy to bypass, especially when you’re immortal. i’ll bet some places have fun with it, like a lot of art students’ university IDs will be ridiculously stylised, possibly like cubist or some shit.
i assume there are systems in place to keep someone from being head of state for 700 years.
murder???? how do you solve a vampire’s murder how do you identify the victim is it like “so i found this pile of ashes, and this person went missing near here recently, i guess this is our person??” does no one even bother to investigate? i feel like vamps wouldnt put up with that
……Forensic scientists specializing in ash analysis.
Would vampires have to get special, like, carbon-nitrogen profiles done? Stuff that would stay in the ashes? “We did a molecular ratio test on the ash pile and the profile matches the following individuals quite closely.”
thats FASCINATING ngl, although like i wonder how the community feels abt it, like on one hand if someone gets murdered and theres no way to identify the remains ppl are gonna get pissed, if you mandate fancy tests ppl are gonna get pissed (like how they dont want to be fingerprinted since they “arent a criminal”, u know?), its all a mess
Okay, but guys: POLITICS. I mean okay, let’s be optimistic that effectively immortal people would willingly step down from power after a number of years in office. Given how addictive power can be, it’s questionable, but like I said, optimism, because otherwise everything is basically fucked and there will never ever be social or political change whatsoever with a monarch/president still subscribing to rigid old timey values.
But still. Imagine a UN convention where a representative of one country still has visceral firsthand memories of how that dude across the room once served as a general in the war that tore his country apart. Or a Congress where former slaves and slave owners have to sit next to each other. Or a forward-thinking president trying to pass a law about gender equality when a significant segment of the population were raised in an era where women were considered property. HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK???
How would prison/criminal punishment work for vampires? I mean, the motivation against being in prison for humans is kind of that we have limited lifespans, so it matters if we spend twenty-five of them locked up for murder, but if you’re looking at eternity does it even matter? How do you enforce laws when the person in question is immortal and nigh-invulnerable? Do you charge a vampire with murder if they accidentally kill a donor or do you treat it as manslaughter? After all, the vampire knew they were technically risking the person’s life and (assuming that vampires have some degree of moral compass and got consent for said blood suckery) so did the donor. Are there contracts? Are there supervised donor cafes, where humans can get a hearty meal after, y’know, being a hearty meal, all under the protective watch of someone ready to save their neck if things get dangerous? What if vampires have a starvation point, where they lose cogency and are no longer considered mentally fit to make their own decisions, and kill someone in that state? Are they culpable for those crimes later, after their mind comes back to them?
Holy fuck, what about turning people? Do humans have a note on their license like you do for organ donations, indicating whether or not they can be turned into a vampire in the event of massive trauma that would otherwise prove fatal? (HOLY FUCK are there vampire paramedics who are good at treating injuries but are mostly sent to MCI’s, sent in to triage the wounded and find those who are actively dying and search them for the card or get their permission and turn them, leaving the wreckage of buses and car crashes with a clutch of frightened new vampires? Do they offer therapy to these vampire paramedics? I am concerned about these vampire paramedics now, is it considered a freakish occupation choice or the indication of the highest caliber of control and selflessness, to expose yourself to so much blood?) Is there counseling offered in cancer wards and to those with lethal illnesses, weighing the benefits and issues of immortality? Is there a minimum age, preventing infants born with minimal APGAR scores being turned? Is there a mandate that the actual potentially-turned person has to give consent, and do they have to be over the age of consent to do so, or just over the age where they can comprehend what’s happening? Is it murder if you turn someone without their consent? Could you have people testifying at their own murder trials, or would you have to invent an entirely new category of crime?
American History: Bernie Sanders is the first Jew to win a presidential primary.
Bernie Sanders would be the 1st non Christian president. That’s an important distinction that is often ignored, actually.
The amount of comments I got on this post saying “JFK was catholic tho” like…. you do understand…. Catholicism is a form of…. you know what nevermind lmao. This is why college should be free. #FeelTheBern
Hinder: a dating app that matches you with dates in progress nearby so that you can cockblock them
That would be an amazing idea for people who want to end a bad date or feel unsafe but don’t have people to call them or to hijack their date. Got an hour to kill? Ruin local dates near you! Great acting practice! Are you the old high school friend? The ex? The “SO” their cheating on? The online friend who didn’t realize you both live in the same city? Users can match with people who need interrupting phone calls, incessant texts, a full on walk in.
“Other pernicious myths around ADHD include the perception that adult women, including successful professionals, can’t have ADHD.
Just the opposite. When the structure of school and college make way for the anarchy of balancing work and maybe having children, keeping ADHD at bay becomes harder.
Littman works with, and has studied, the impact of ADHD on high-IQ men and women, many of whom spent years masking their symptoms with their high abilities. As she tries to target if ADHD is the issue, she asks whether they are “constantly in a state of being overwhelmed and frantic about coping with day-to-day basic things?” Most burst into tears. “These are the people least likely to be acknowledged and because of the shame of feeling smart, they don’t feel they are entitled to help.””—Decades of failing to recognize ADHD in girls has created a “lost generation” of women - Quartz (via brutereason)
Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.
“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, before I could say anything.
The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.
“You like it?” Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.
I pull up at this nice ass house, I’m walking to the door as the woman pulls in her driveway so the pizza is definitely not late.
I’m all smiley and courteous and shit, she tipped me $1 on a $51 bill.
The next house I have is in a lower class neighborhood, she tips me $4.00 on a $14 bill.
rich people don’t value yr labor at all
This has ALWAYS been my experience in food service. Rich people tip like shit because they feel your job isn’t a ‘real’ job. They’re used to being serviced so they don’t appreciate hard labor. It’s so gross.
And poorer people always tip nice because…well the opposite reason.
Do not let adults steal this generation from you. Relish in selfies. Snapchat pictures of coffee to your friends, huddle around an iphone to watch Vines. Shamelessly love this generations commodities, like how your parents loved THEIR commodities, like disco or Hammer Pants or whatever else. Do not let angry adults take away your chance to experience the uniqueness of right now.
my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me
i told my dad about this text post and he got so excited he teared up and then he said he felt like he just adopted forty thousand new children to share his wisdom with and he hopes all of you meet kind, sweet people he would be proud of
IT MAKES ME SO MAD WHEN I SEE OR HEAR LANGUAGES THAT I CANNOT UNDERSTAND. I WANT TO SPEAK EVERY LANGUAGE FLUENTLY. I WANT TO TALK WITH EVERYONE I MEET IN THEIR NATIVE LANGUAGE. LANGUAGES ARE BEAUTIFUL. THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND THEN THEY HAVE A TON OF DIALECTS.
when you block a popular person due to personal reasons but then you still see their posts on your dash (reblogged from other people) because the block feature doesn’t work that way
i was literally just complaining about this to someone
Don’t forget the askterisk, it’s really important!
Since I know there are a lot of toxic folk in the community, reblogging for reference for those who may need it.
yup this is exactly what I do. block the person and blacklist the url.
I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference
and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”
Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”
Benjamin Franklin helped to create Impeachment Clause of US Constitution. He realized that if a president were to “render himself obnoxious,” then people would logically consider assassination unless there was a legal way to get rid of the president.
Just obnoxious. Not treasonous or acting outside of the best interests of the American people. Just really really fucking annoying.
If Trump becomes president I’m switching my major to music so when our country inevitably becomes a nuclear wasteland, I can be the guying playing the flamethrower guitar while the War Boys attack unsuspecting wanderers.
listen, there is absolutely nothing that gets me going like mutual seemingly unrequited pining like? i live for both people losing their minds over the other person in bitter silence. savoring every single accidental brush of their fingers, elbows, thighs, every stray glance, memorizing every gesture or expression they catch while the other isn’t looking, all while being absolutely convinced that it’s one-sided only to finally!! finally find out it wasn’t in a triumphant moment of bliss after years and years of delicious, soul-rending, torturous, heart-wrenching pining. i literally don’t care about the fact that this trope is predictable af and always plays out the same way i will still go wild over it every single time like they’ll be doing the same reveal scene i have seen a million times and i’m still on the edge of my seat gasping “are they gonna kiss???”
i regret ever making this post because as a result people keep recommending me heterosexual love stories like “you’ll love this!” really. will i linda? will i
SO AT OUR SCHOOL THERE ARE NO PHONES ALLOWED BUT WE STILL TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL BECAUSE WE’RE FUCKING IDIOTS AND TODAY THE CLASS PRES ALMOST RAMMED THE DOOR DOWN AND YELLED “HIDE YOUR PHONES THE HEADMISTRESS WILL CHECK YOUR BAGS FOR PHONES AND TAKE THEM AWAY IF SHE FINDS THEM” AND FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS YOU COULD SEE THIRTY FACES OF PURE HORROR AND THEN PEOPLE STARTED SCREAMING AND TAKING OFF THEIR SHOES AND PUTTING THEIR PHONES THERE, SOME PUT THEIRS IN THEIR UNDERWEAR, A GIRL WITH THICK CURLY HAIR PUT HERS IN HER FUCKING HAIR, SOME HIDTHEIR PHONES IN THEIR BOOKS, A BITCH I HATE TAPED HERS TO THE BOTTOM OF HER CHAIR AND I HID MINE ON MY BRA AND THE EARPHONES ON MY SHOE AND YOU COULD SEE BULLIES HELPING THEIR VICTIMS HIDE THEIR PHONES AND ASKING THEM IF IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT THEY HID THEIR PHONES ON THEIR PANTS OR STH AND AFTER THE HORROR HAD PASSED PEOPLE WERE YELLING BECAUSE THEIR PHONES SMELT LIKE DIRTY FEET IT WAS AMAZING
let this die i beg of you
This is beautiful and shouldn’t die.
I SWEAR TO FUCK THIS HAD LIKE 400 NOTES AN HOUR AGO WHO MADE THIS BLOW UP WHO
a beautiful situation showing humans working together and co-operating
@ the people who followed me for one specific thing i’m really sorry my interests are all over the place and that sometimes i will suddenly start posting a fuck ton of something i’ve never mentioned before whoops
Despite the vast quantities of domestic!AU fanfic that exist to the contrary, there’s still a common misconception in TVlandia that romantic relationships are only really interesting when imminent or imperilled; that any sort of emotional contentment or continuity between the characters will be boring to watch. And yet platonic relationships, in which we’re also meant to invest, are just as frequently treated as rock-solid: inviolable except, potentially, at a few plot-critical junctures. And that’s a big problem for romantic pairings – or rather, for our ability to invest in them, because the plain fact is, you can’t successfully threaten to destroy a thing you’ve never committed to building. Not only will nobody care, but there’s literally nothing to tear down except your own expired eviction notices. When you make it your telegraphed aim, week in, week out, year after year, to perpetuate a will-they, won’t-they dynamic, it becomes increasingly hard to give a shit about the won’t-they episodes, because, just like a child threatening to run away to the circus, it doesn’t matter how loudly you scream And this time, I mean it! – we all know you’re bluffing.
Having gone this route, the writers then wonder why fandom is often far more invested in seeing those platonic (predominantly male/male) relationships become romantic than in their canonical (predominantly male/female) pairings. Which: yes, we want queer representation, and yes, we enjoy our own interpretations of the characters, but at base, the problem - as far as you TV writers are concerned, anyway - is trifold. Firstly, you’re limiting your romantic male/female interactions to fit a preordained narrative, which paradoxically weakens the same relationship they’re meant to promote by shallowing its development. Secondly, because you’re worried portraying a platonic male/female relationship in addition to your romantic one might confuse viewers as to who, in fact, the girl is meant to end up with, you don’t create any extraneous narrative potential between characters of the opposite gender. Which means, third and finally, that your same sex interactions are likely biased towards male-male, as most shows tend to have fewer female characters overall – and when they do appear, as per the first point, you’re usually orienting their participation around a single particular man, instead of letting them talk to each other – which means the most naturally developed, complex relationships portrayed are, overwhelmingly, between men.
Thus: having firmly invested your audience in the importance of a romantic relationship, you then proceed to use all the juiciest romantic foundations – which is to say, shared interests, complex histories, mutual respect, in-jokes, magnetic antagonism, slowly kindled alliances and a dozen other things – in male/male scenes, and then affect gaping surprise when your fanbase not only notices, but expresses a preference for it.
everybody always makes the marauders out to be super cool and suave but dude
they had codenames
they named their own friendship group
as far as i can tell only aBSOLUTE DORKLORDS DO THAT
how much do you wanna bet the entirety of hogwarts refused to call them ‘the marauders’ and they got all grumpy abt it
The entire exchange between them all during their 5th year exam also attests to this. 1. He’s sitting in my chair 2. He’s wearing my clothes 3. His names remus Lupin?? That’s not even funny ! but they all laughed. And they’ve known he’s a werewolf for how many years at that point? 3? I can’t get over it lolol it is absolutely dorky.
Sirius and James wore matching Phoenix shirts while riding the motorbike together.
Elvendorks.
In addition (and I will categorically never get over this) sixteen year old James Potter doodling Lily’s initials in a love heart on his DADA OWL exam?
And for god’s sake, they dedicated a significant chunk of their free time to drawing their entire school (and not just any school- Hogwarts, the most convoluted building anywhere ever) and enchanting it to keep track of every single person, not to mention the fucking stairs and the walls that move. This map can see people under the Invisibility Cloak, doesn’t give two shits about Polyjuice Potion.
They were gi-fucking-gantic dorks. You can bet that their dorm room had more advanced textbooks in it than any other in the castle. You can bet that their homework (despite often likely being done a little close to the line) will nine times out of ten be twice as many inches as they were asked for including moving, colour coded diagrams and insanely complex theory on how to improve the effects of said spell or potion, potential applications that literally no-one would have thought of.
Like the very fact that they’re canonically fucking mischief makers of the calibre of Fred and George, the fact that they caused trouble that way is just textbook behaviour for a lot of really really bright kids? They were goddamn geniuses, and they were bloody bored 90% of the time, so they pushed themselves. Acing transfiguration? No problem, let’s become Animagi to help our best mate. Ancient Runes way bellow our skill level? Fine, we’ll use a combination of that, arithmancy and charms to make a map that tracks people all over the castle.
They were absolute nerd kings, and I sodding well love it.
One of the most ludicrous things parents say is “Why aren’t you more grateful to us for feeding, clothing, and sheltering you?!”
It’s because you’re the parent. You have a duty to feed, clothe, and shelter your children. You’re not doing them a favor by making sure they don’t starve. You’re fulfilling one of the responsibilities of parenting. Your children don’t owe you for doing what you’re obligated to do.
my favourite thing about Toph Beifong is that she was told it was impossible to earthbend metal and she immediately said ok you know what and invented metalbending
“When the weather gets cold in a few months you will complain about it then, so enjoy this heat”
I will bitch about it now, I will bitch about it then, I will bitch about everything there is ever to bitch about, because guess what, Im a bitch
I feel like this needs to be Seussified.
I will bitch about heat. I will bitch about cold. I will bitch about sunshine, and about growing old.
I will bitch about everything, inside and out. You will find there is nothing I can’t bitch about.
