Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win
Month
Guys, if you can’t fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately try to push their shitty product on you?
Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if - instead of shoe cleaner - their product was DICK.
That’s a woman’s reality: a never-ending, thinly veiled penis infomercial. Moral reasons aside, you shouldn’t catcall simply because it doesn’t work. From an economic standpoint, dick is over-saturating the marketplace. Supply and demand. Too many guys are trying to supply dick. Droves of desperate dudes are drastically decreasing dick demand, detrimenting distribution.
Simply put: The Cock Market is an all time low.
The reason vagina is such a valuable commodity is because it’s harder to come by. You can’t just get it through a hole in the wall at a truck stop bathroom. You want your product to sell, you have to create a need.
In everyone’s best interest, gentlemen, treat your dicks like the McRib. Periodically take them off the market. Give consumers a chance to miss them and forget how gross they really are.
”—Nat Baimel (@NatBaimel)
I died ten times reading this.
(via absentlyabbie)
this is such a great way to explain it to guys who don’t get why women don’t want to say hello to them or get hostile when they do. THEY avoid the kiosk salesmen when they say, “Hello!” just as much. That sales person could just be friendly and might not go on about it, but you don’t know and you don’t want to chance it.
(via robotsandfrippary)
i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”
it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud
Everyone should watch Sky High for the sheer fact that there is a character whose mother is a superhero and father is a super villain and the kid’s name is Warren Peace.
Warren Peace, man.
He also looks like this, if that helps at all
This movie is ridiculously underrated and the fact that they didn’t get to make it a four-part series like they had planned is a tragedy
THEY PLANNED 3 OTHER MOVIES
WHY DIDNT THEY
WHAT??? WHY DIDN’T THEY MAKE MORE???
- this whole time i’ve thought dark marks are black, but it turns out they only go black when voldemort touches them. the rest of the time they’re “vivid red”. karkaroff said his had been “getting clearer” all year, implying that it faded during that decade-or-so when voldemort…
Asking a Sphinx “so will you move please” will forever be one of my favorite Patented Harry Potter Solutions
+
I don’t understand
Like….I celebrate Hanukkah and even I got that.
2,121,566 people are not esteban julio ricardo dela rosa ramirez and counting!
We’ll find you esteban julio ricardo dela rosa ramirez.
This post is scandalous.
reblogging because esteban julio ricardo dela rosa ramirez cant.
If you scroll past this I am going to assume your name is esteban julio ricardo dela rosa ramirez.
I couldn’t not reblog…
“beauty and the beast” where beauty’s dad comes home with the rose and is like oh shit oh shit this terrible monster says i have to come live with him forever because i picked his favorite flower and beauty just goes fuck that and puts on her pants and marches down to the…
Trans Siberian Orchestra | Carol Of The Bells
*headbangs* CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS
You can be mature and respectful and still have a dirty sense of humour.
You can curse a lot and still be highly intelligent with a massive vocabulary.
You can be quiet and reserved and still be witty and even outgoing in certain circles.
You can be intelligent and sharp-minded and still forget what month it is
you can dance if you wanna, you can leave your friends behind
I have a soft spot for parental figures who don’t want to admit they’re parental figures.
“I am not a father,” he says as he is followed by a horde of children.
beginning of joke
i honestly dont understand this joke and its frustrating me
Well, I guess you’re missing the
I do have a remarkable tendency to miss the Juicy Juice Hypotenuse.
Can we always call it that oh my god
i went to look up coup de foudre (“love at first sight”) but i fucked up
i fucked up so much
i didn’t know it was possible to fuck it up this much
i tried to see if it was true and i fucked up even more i’m sorry
This is so beautiful
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
I love the term scientist because it’s so vague. Whenever I hear scientist, I imagine someone hurriedly trying to do every kind of science at once
I’m gonna start watching Attack on Titan
Wish me luck
what the fuck
what the FUCK
humans are kinda cute we pass stories down generations to instill a sense of wonder in people we’ll never know and we have little bells on our houses to tell each other that we’ve arrived and we shiver when we get cold and we have an endless amount of curiosity and if the night sky is clear our first instinct is to look up at the stars and think about going on big adventures
I want to hug this post
this is my personal and professional manifesto
