adelindschade freaking out with hatred over Canadian geese is the best thing ever.
Y’all bitches thought us Canadians were nice? Yeah, that’s because then we can go home and remind ourselves that we cursed you with those bitches. And then laugh.
Fuck you. Fuck all of you who had anything to do with the creation of this vile thing. I was going to bed and now I’m seething with searing hate over the fact THEY ARE BACK, AND THEY ARE BACK WITH A VICIOUS VENGEANCE.
I never did tell you about the time some kids thought it was a perfect prank of let one inside the school to reign terror on the rest of us.
No one knows exactly how it came in but we heard it. HONK. HONK/ *SCREAM*/ and we had to investigate. Watching some poor soul all but abandon her locker as this thing CHARGES, (”GET BACK TO CLASS YOUNG LADY.”) Some dare devils went out to face this thing and was promptly chickened back into the safety of the classroom after 4 boys took on one single fucking goose.
ONE FUCKING GOOSE WITH THE RAGE OF SATAN
WHAT. DID. WE . EVER. DO. TO. YOU.
WHAT. DID . YOU. SACRIFICE. TO CREATE. SUCH A DEMON.
Look, we have a reputation to uphold. We’re the nice ones. But you know what they say about the nice ones, right? That inside they’re seething balls of hate rage?
Canadian Geese are our hate rage in physical form.
I expected this from Australia. Not you. Not our friendly, non-problematic neighbors. We share lakes. And fish. And syrup. Don’t be a dick.
You know, out of all the superpowers, I would fear anyone with the power to control Canadian geese. Send those fuckers to war. Send them to bombard your enemies. Canadian Geese. Should. NOt. Be. messed. With.
You cannot possess me for I belong to myself But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give You cannot command me, for I am a free person But I shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
Denial:
you know what? my grades are probably fine! i need to stop worrying so much
Anger:
well FUCK THE SYSTEM for putting so much pressure on us to excel academically and FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS A TEST GRADE DEFINES ME
Bargaining:
dear god, please let me pass the test. just send me a sign i'll do alright so i can stop worrying, okay? i'll do anything you want, just... just send me a sign. .... .... ...okay, dear satan....
Depression:
*hysterical sobbing*
Acceptance:
okay, fuck it. just... fuck it. i will live in a cardboard box and i will live off the grid because i am going to fail this. i accept my fate. fuck this.
I am DESPERATELY trying to inform everyone that IT IS ALREADY UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO KILL UNARMED FLEEING FELONS/SUSPECTED FELONS
In the 1984 case Tennessee v. Garner, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that killing an unarmed fleeing felon (and even SUSPECTED felon) is unconstitutional.
This ruling has not been overturned and is still valid and standing today!
au where the government incarcerate bucky in a high security secret facility and the avengers just conspire and break him out and when a government official comes to stark tower and is like ‘hey give barnes back’ tony is just like ‘he’s not here’ and the dude is all ‘he is sat right there’ and tony just goes ‘nah thats my cousin sergei’ and the government can’t do anything bc technically bucky barnes has been dead for 70 years and every year the facility gets a christmas card from the tower signed steve, tony, clint, natasha, bruce, thor and ‘cousin sergei’ and the card is just a picture of bucky with reindeer antlers on
Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.
A man in a room full of women is ecstatic.
A woman in a room full of men is terrified.
this blew my mind
Speaking as someone with a lot of experience getting sexually harassed and more, I can confirm that this is true. In a room full of men, I’m thinking about my odds of getting out the door relatively unharmed.
I can understand people who go vegan I cannot understand people who go vegan and start spreading dangerous lies about how vaccinations work, about different chemicals used in food processing, about antibiotics or other things. Seriously, just because you don’t have a clue about chemistry, don’t spread your bullshit.
I’m sorry but chemicals are bad for the human body
I’m sorry but our bodies are made up entirely of chemicals
Steve needs to have a Swear Jar and every time someone says a profanity in front of him, he just holds it out. The especially bad ones cost two dollars, don’t think Steve will let you get away with that. And this goes on for months and months and when Bucky starts coming around, he notices it. And he also notices how Steve doesn’t swear in front of any of the Avengers.
And when he gets Steve alone, he’s like, “what gives, you’ve got the worst mouth out of anyone I know.”
And Steve, with a perfectly innocent expression, says, “they made assumptions, Buck. I think those assumptions should at least buy a new bike, don’t you?”
And Bucky just stares at him, awed, like, “I forgot how fucking devious you are.”
Until the last word of the first paragraph there is no strong indication that this isn’t SU
if you give kids zero restrictions they’ll become the nicest fucking kids ever who never do drugs or get into trouble i know because my parents let me do nothing but eat chicken nuggets all day and read hentai until 4am and i am a straight A student
Seriously though this seems to be the case with a ton of people I know, if you don’t restrict them all the time they actually do better and are mentally healthier
WHY DON’T PARENTS UNDERSTAND THIS?!?
Literally the only hard restriction my parents ever gave me was a very terrifying “Treat our books well or on your own head be it” and I go to bed by two and eat and do homework and have no interest in drugs or alcohol.
How are you? It’s been a long time since we talked. Are you still working on that project that you were thinking of as a child? You were always so creative and bright, so even if you aren’t, I’m sure that something new and amazing is coming your way.
I know times can get tough, and I’ll be here by your side. I may not always be there, I may not always be able to help as much as I’d like, but I am here. You’re my treasure, after all, and I love you. No matter what you do, I’ll be here. Sometimes, when you feel disappointed in yourself, just remember that I am proud of you.
You’re my beautiful sweetheart, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. One of the most beautiful things in this world is your smile- not because your teeth are perfect, but because your happiness shines through. Your happiness, and nobody else’s- there will never be anyone like you ever again, and it makes me overjoyed to be able to say that you are mine.
I love you, darling.
Keep your head held high, and keep moving forward. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you.
Love, Momma
P.S.
Remember to drink lots of water, stay healthy, and take any medicine if you need it. Love you! Many kisses!
I have been laughing for the last 10 minutes. because of "Australia come get your big ass birds" thank you for that most glorious line
If ya’ll think I’m playing, I’m not.
You’ve probably seen the post about the fuck up between the American Possum and the Australian Possum. Now let me introduce you to fuckery of the “Canadian” Goose
There is nothing Canadian about this God Damn Goose. It is not nice. It is not adorable. It’s EVIL. IT IS DIRECT. IT IS SADISTIC. THIS THING WOULD FIGHT A SNAKE AND PROBABLY WIN
THIS BIRD IS THE EPITOME OF “FIGHT ME,” AND WILL INDEED. FIGHT. ME. AND YOU. AND ANYONE ELSE IT FEELS LIKE FUCKING UP.
They come in hoards. They lounge by the parking lot. The grocery store. The highway. The hold up traffic because when they pass, the cars know better than to endure the wrath of this Canadian goose.
iT TAKES AN ARROW TO THE HEAD, NOT EVEN A KNEE, AND CONTINUES GOING ABOUT IT’S GOD DAMN BUSINESS TERRORIZING THE PUBLIC
HOW IS THIS BIRD CANADIAN? WHAT IS CANADIAN ABOUT THIS BIRD?
THIS BIRD IS A MENACING MOTHERFUCKER. IT BELONGS IN AUSTRALIA WITH THE REST OF THE DEADLY MONSTROSITIES DOWN THERE! I KNOW THE SWOOPING MAGPIES ARE A BITCH, BUT GOD DAMNIT, WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT.
fyi non-natives wearing moccasins isnt cultural appropriation but if you want moccasins you should definitely be buying them from natives. otherwise youre creating profit for the white people who were/are trying to exterminate us.
I was told this by a Native American guy I went to school with so now I do that. I’d rather put money back where it belongs. This resonates deeply with me as a black woman who tries to support Black and Non White individuals. - K
!!! Please this thing, don’t buy crappy moccasin rip off shoes from chains, please make sure you buy authentic ones made by us!! Also stop wearing them in the fucking rain and ruining them goddamnit
also the ones made by first nations are always way better anyway????? there’s this woman named Sunshine Tenasco-Brazeau in eastern canada that makes them for babies and they’ve been known to sell like crazy because they’re amazing.You can get them here and she employs tons of other first nations women and it’s a great little native-owned company.
Reblogging this for the links in the last comment. It’s really cool to raise awareness, but it’s even cooler with something like this to provide links to places where you can actually buy the goods in question!
One thing I’ve learned: when people end whatever they’re saying with “idk, I’m probably not making any sense,” it usually means they are telling you something very close and personal to them, something that’s such an integral part of their being that they have trouble putting it into words that do it justice.
i want to hear about that time jane foster got stitched up in the er by claire temple.
i want to know how karen page worked as a temp for stark industries, and how one day she spilled her coffee all over herself and pepper potts. she thought she was going too be fired but pepper was the one to apologize and pay for both their dry cleaning.
did you know christine everhart once interviewed maya hansen, but the article was passed over for more of tony stark’s misadventures?
for sharon carter’s tenth birthday, her aunt peggy took her to a show starring broadway legend angie martinelli.
one time maria hill was pulled from a mission because the day before she had sustained a concussion and a broken nose during a sparring session with melinda may.
bobbi morse and natasha romanoff like to argue about who came up with the “public displays of affection make people uncomfortable” trick, but they’ve executed it enough times together.
living with darcy lewis was hell because she kept stealing jane’s shirts and stretching out the chest. jane kept accidentally using darcy’s razor. she once sat on and broke darcy’s glasses. their cycles synced and whenever one of them got sick, the other was sure to follow.
whenever maya hansen and betty ross meet at a conference, they get horrendously drunk. they’ve been arrested for disorderly conduct and indecent exposure twice.
Is anyone else kind of freaking out that “Uptown Funk” is destined to be a landmark pop song, and it happened in our generation? Like it’ll be in the Rolling Stone Top 500 songs of all time? Like you will hear it at weddings and birthdays for the rest of your natural born life?
“Ah, yes, Constantine. With it’s soaring DVR and online watches, how it’s trending with over 40k tweets, how it managed to keep 1.0 even on dead slot, and how it has higher viewings than most other DC shows, on top of us having the fans make free advertisements, their endless campaigning. Yes, Constantine, the show that makes us money because of the rabid fanbase.
“if you don’t consider breasts sexual organs then why do you care if i grab them” well EXCUSE ME BUT IF I JUST STRUTTED UP AND GRABBED YOUR EAR AND FELT IT UP LIKE MMMM YEAH BABY I BET YOU HEAR REAAAL GOOD WOULD YOU NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE
You know what bothers me? When I see a person, usually a girl, who’s had plastic surgery and I express how gorgeous I think she is (not because of her surgeries, I’m not always aware of that anyways) and some butthead, usually a girl, butts in and goes “oh but she’s had work done though” like that’s supposed to make me think less of her. No. Go away. I want to appreciate this person’s beauty in the present time we’re in. The past doesn’t matter unless they want it to. I don’t want to taste your bitterness. Girls, we can’t tear each other down like dis.
YES
Also, society weirdly does not apply this to things like braces? Like you don’t hear people say things like “Oh thats not their real smile, they had work done.”
“Most Whites find it easy to ignore residential segregation. I experienced a good example of this inattention when I told a lunch-table’s worth of White colleagues at the Center for Advanced Studies in the Behavioral Sciences about the linguist John Baugh’s project on “linguistic profiling” (Baugh 2003). Baugh has developed a matched-guise test in which a single speaker uses a “White professional,” a “Latino,” or a “Black” voice in making telephone inquiries about the availability of advertised rentals in the San Francisco Bay area. The “White professional” voice is much more likely to yield an invitation to make an appointment to look at the property, while the other accents are more likely to result in a response that the rental is no longer available. My colleagues, all sophisticated scholars, were genuinely surprised at this result; several mentioned that they had thought that this sort of discrimination had long since disappeared.”—
Jane H. Hill, The Everyday Language of White Racism (via wretchedoftheearth)
*****
This is like when me and my white soon-to-be husband were looking for places. I’d call up and they’d say, “Come on down! Get an application!”. Because I don’t “sound” black.
Then I’d walk in 2 minutes later and they’d be all, “Oh. Sorry, we just rented it.”
Then I’d send him in and he’d get an application.
The best part? Walking back in while he was completing the application. “Oh, they gave you an application? But they told me it was just rented. ODD. THAT. I’m going to report them so let’s just skip this place, m’kay?” The looks on their faces and the pathetic apologies were just too much fun.
Used to deal with the same thing with road trips. Hotels would tell me that there were no vacancies, but my white roommate would go in and get us a room, usually cheaper than advertised.
I’m going to reblog this every time I see it on my dash. My parents pointed out how this phenomenon worked when we were moving to PA (they’d get steered to crummier neighborhoods and have to insist on being shown others). Housing discrimination is still pretty widespread and the gatekeepers? Tend to either intentionally or due to unchecked bias reinforce the status quo.
It always floors me the things people are surprised at. Meanwhile, every person of color is sitting here like, “Oh. Must be another day that ends in Y, and in other news, water is wet.” Like, really, people are surprised by this, and whenever they show surprise at learning stuff that we go through, I have to poker face, lest I end up giving them the most disbelieving side eye in history because how do you NOT know this? But then, you know. Some people have the privilege of being able to be unaware it because it’s not a problem they have to deal with. :/ (via lori-jaye)
Sounds like my friends when they were looking for a place in Midtown memphis(mostly white liberal middle class area)… they said people would invite them to see the places and then would either suddenly become unavailable or they would just ignore their phone calls.. but the Obama’s said “no more excuses.. work harder”…
ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS I’VE SPENT SHIT TONS OF MONEY ON CALLIGRAPHY PENS FOR ART AND YOU’RE TELLING ME I CAN MAKE MY OWN FOR LESS THAN 4 FRIGGEN DOLLARS??? THIS IS BULLSHIT MY ENTIRE ART LIFE IS A LIE
I don’t understand how there’s no Black Widow movie. A little girl being taught to be a spy from childhood. Destroying her youth and innocence and learning to kill. Competing against 27 other girls to stay alive. Being pushed to the breaking point morally, physically, and emotionally. Seeing The Red Room forge her into a weapon. The beginning of her career - assassinating diplomats, manipulating prisoners of Russia, outsmarting SHIELD. Backstory to Drakov, Sal Paulo, the hospital fire, and Budapest. And then a rookie SHIELD agent has her in sight on his scopes. His finger is in the trigger, but he hesitates. She looks scared. She looks tired. She looks like a fighter. So, he brings her in, and takes her under his wing.
From a child assassin to a Russian defector. And they could throw Bucky and Yelena in there, along with Clint and Fury, and maybe even a Peggy Carter/Dottie Underwood Red Room origin story.
Like, who heard that and went - ‘no, I’m gonna go with Spiderman for the third time, and this guy who can talk to ants’?!
I know you guys are really busy, but, have you thought about maybe giving Constantine a chance on your site? We have a strong fan base and lots of loyal fans. No to mention the show has some of the best actors you’ve ever seen.
