Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

vicesandvipers:

ok but late night talk show host John Laurens who is having a fucking ball poking fun at the washington administration and gets extremely fired up about black lives matter and essentially becomes the smiling, freckled Jon Stewart of late night tv

running jokes in the show include:

• john’s dad think’s he’s a lawyer. shh, nobody tell him

• John Adams Continually Fails To Look Normal In Any Photograph

• george dadington tries to control his administration of arguing five year olds

• alexander hamilton is Literally Still Talking Right Now

• the petition to replace thomas jefferson with a small puppy

• james madison using WebMD at work

• just a simple farmer boy from south carolina

• “more _____ than i have freckles”

• no, angelica schuyler is not yet running for president

• john laurens’ delicate southern sensibilities

and OF COURSE alexander hamilton seeks out any and all mention of himself in mainstream media and gleefully watches just about every episode of john’s show and includes a couple of sly references to it in one of his speeches, and from there it becomes a war of inside jokes and tweeting at each other until finally alex gets interviewed on john’s show and by this point other late night shows are catching on to this, and peggy’s show has an ongoing segment called “Holy Shit, Will You Two Just Kiss and Shut Up Already” 

no but after that John and Alex becoming legitimate friends and partners and working together to spread awareness about serious issues (mental health, LGBT+, homeless kids) to the point that john ends up giving a speech at the white house (”In this week’s news: holy shit, i met the president”) 
and the next running joke on john’s show is that any time alex is brought up, john says “and now to my very good friend, secretary hamilton” complete with suggestive eyebrows

honestly just give me late night tv comedian john laurens

Okay so where’s the fic?

moontyrant:

Okay, so you know what I want to see in the Black Panther movie?

• Natasha sparring with one or multiple of T’Challa’s bodyguards.
  
• Bad guys keep trying to get T’Challa when he’s on diplomatic trips, but the bad guys keep getting punched in the throat by his bodyguards.
  
• This happens multiple times. The scene will cut from T’Challa trying to stay awake during a meeting about embargos or something, to his bodyguards brawling in the parking lot.
• T’Challa doesn’t even know there are bad guys half of the time because that’s how efficient and brutal his entourage is.
• I want at least one Wakandan to watch the news, shake their head, and say, “What is up with these white people?” But then T’Challa gives them a really stern look, because he is a righteous and progressive king. I want the Wakandan to kind of blush and correct themselves with, “Excuse me, I meant people of European descent.”
• Bonus points if this is one of his bodyguards, after seeing Spiderman doing literally anything.
• I want a flashback to Civil War, where T’Challa’s team of bodyguards are losing their minds. “How do you lose an entire king?!” And the oldest, wisest, most-done-with-this-shit bodyguard (let’s call her Aunika) just puts on a pair of shades, and goes, “Where’s the Panther suit? Wow, it’s missing? What a coincidence.”
  
• She is so done with his shit, she puts a tracking chip under T’Challa’s skin like he’s a pet labradoodle. And then she puts a tracker on the suit. And then she puts a tracker on the backup suit he doesn’t think she knows about. She is too damn old to be running all over the globe trying to protect this meatball.
  
• And traditionally, the bodyguards aren’t supposed to talk to anyone except each other and their king, and Aunika is old enough that she still won’t say anything to the other Avengers. But she will absolutely drag T’Challa’s ass when they’re alone.
  
• But in, like, a mom way.
  
• T’Challa gets pretty, very young bodyguards, sent from all over Wakanda, and he’s like, “They’re so smol and precious.” And Aunika is like, “You’re all literally the same age. Nakia has six inches and thirty pounds on you.” And T’Challa looks her dead in the face, “So smol. So precious.”
  
• Okay, when Aunika is talking to T’Challa, she is 100% polite. All the time. But she pulls some wild shit. Like she has new recruits for the Dora Milaje program prove they can bench press his bodyweight. And they have to get it right, so he obviously has to be there to get bench pressed. New recruits have to be able to run a half mile with him in a fireman’s carry, and in a bridal carry. “Aunika, you never had to do any of this when my father hired you.” “My king! Are you implying I am just making up new requirements? To what end? To embarrass you?”
  
• T’Challa goes on an Avenger’s mission and it goes pear-shaped basically immediately. His bodyguards swoop in, crack the Hydra base open like an egg, do some quick reconnaissance, pick up the information the Avengers were supposed to get, and then they wait around. And poor Nakia is like, “Let’s just grab him and go!” But Aunika is like, “If we rescue him, it’ll hurt his feelings. We just have to wait for him to get out himself and then we can act like we just got here, and then we can go.” But Nakia is still like, “Then why did you tie me to this metal chair?” And Aunika is like, “So he can ‘save’ you.”
  
• Nakia: “Is this because I failed the flight simulator? I can retake it tomorrow!”
  
• Aunika: “I can’t hear you over the sound of our king performing a daring rescue. Hello T’Challa. It’s been so long I forgot what you looked like.”
  
• (That is a dramatic lie. It’s been 24 hours, tops.)
  
• I want Aunika to try to adopt Sam Wilson, to save this sweet summer child from these white savages. “I mean, these savages of European Descent.”
  
• Basically, I want 80% of Black Panther to be Serious Plot, and the other 20% to be his bodyguards dealing with his life decisions.

lifepro-tips:

Even just stick on a few more words at the start or end to clarify further. I’ve found that if someone mishears you and you repeat the exact same words, they’re far more likely to continue mishearing the sentence.

jerseydevious:

why have a regular high school au when you can have a sky high high school au

hormonal teens and superpowers

fujoshi-kianna-leigh:

littlestartopaz:

ayellowbirds:

danielkanhai:

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?”
“Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.”
“Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?”
“I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

“What was it like seeing all the ancient civilizations rise and all that? Like did you watch the pyramids being built?”

“Nah, i was only born in 1991. But you know what i did see? The development of the technology age. When I was a kid, computers were big, bulky, and overheated constantly. Phones were attached to walls by cords and you didn’t know who was calling. If you connected to the Internet it was through your phone line too, so you couldn’t make calls and surf the net. They were just figuring out all that wireless and portability stuff. Cell phones were the coolest things. They had so many different styles and types until they came out with touch screens on phones. Then they kinda stopped coming out with really different styles.

“There was also this thing called a floppy drive. It was the main stage device but it only held a few mb of data. Then CDs. I remember having a 14 mb flashdrive and being cool cause it held so much.”

“What’s a flash drive?”

“… Memory stick. It was a memory stick.”

“When I was young there was a brick a mortar store where you got movies and games. It was like Netflix, Hulu and Steam put together. We called it: Blockbuster.”

“… what the fuck is a … block … buster?”

“It’s just what we called it. And back then, and remember it was over seven hundred years ago, gays couldn’t get married. Having a gay relationship could get you in big trouble.”

“What? You’re making this up. How could a relationship-”

“It just did. They could fire you from your job. They could kick you out onto the street.”

“But, but! You’d die!”

“They didn’t care.”

“… fuck …”

“And there used to be a place called Florida! It’s underwater now but-”

culturenlifestyle:

Canada’s Fort McMurray’s 80,000 residents were forced to seek refuge away from their homes because of the massive wildlife in recent days. The airline West Jet and Canadian North compassionately allowed the residents in dangers to bring their pets in the cabin.

See the photographs of the evacuees below with their multitude of pets in different sizes!

Keep reading

vulcan-sunflower:

Gosh, see that’s why I love Hardison bc he doesn’t see a problem, he sees a solution. No office? Still feeling a bit insecure about your place in your family and where your family’s relationship is after a trauma?
BUY the building your not-dad person lives in and give Eliot a chainsaw. Where’s that crime against humanity painting? Put it over the mantle or something, it’s beautiful and terrible. Bring in a couple extra fridges bc Eliot refuses to let his gourmet deli meats to be in the same fridge as Hardison’s fifteen 2 liters of orange soda. And Sophie demands something other than coffee and orange soda. Parker just wants a workbench to build rigs(and small explosives).

knitmeapony:

flikky:

flikky:

Okay so, everyone’s written love letters to how good the soundtrack of Hamilton is (and you should listen to it seriously it is fantastic)

But I need to talk for a second about the meta involved in the musical construction.

The main musical genres used in the soundtrack are rap, right?  We know that already ‘cause that’s what got everyone’s attention in the first place – a MUSICAL about ALEXANDER HAMILTON casting POC ACTORS in MAIN ROLES and RAPPING????????

But lookit this, the soundtrack isn’t ONLY comprised of rap and R&B numbers.

There is one character in particular who sings a classic musical number like you’d expect from a Broadway show: King George.

So right here you have the Classic Showtune style of King George at odds with the rap/R&B style of the American revolutionaries.

The writer of the show, Lin-Manuel Miranda (In The Heights), has gone on record saying that the reason he chose to do a rap musical is because rap and R&B have been The Music Of The People for the past thirty years.

So right at the start you have the narrative of the young, frustrated, Revolutionaries railing against the Old World Order with new visions of what a country and a government Should be, by pitting the old school idea of what a Showtune is against something that Broadway has never really heard before – at least not this successfully or this completely.

But then you keep going deeper into it, right?  Rap has always traditionally been a collaborative effort – there are very few, if any, rap songs out there that don’t have the backing of a chorus, at the very least.  It’s just sort of the nature of the genre, no rapper raps alone, they always have support.  Likewise, while there are solos in the songs in Hamilton, no character sings entirely alone.  They’re either backed up by the ensemble, or they’re joined by one or more of the other characters.

In contrast, King George only sings alone.  His songs are entirely just him.  There’s no backup singers or anything.

Not until, at the very end of the song and at least one of the reprises, he calls for everyone to sing with him, and even then it’s just a couple of lines of meaningless “dadada da das.”  So even where there are other voices singing along, where the Revolutionaries willingly join in of their own volition (either to support or debate, it doesn’t matter), King George’s brief backup is ordered to.

So there you have the Democracy versus Monarchy comparison.

And last but not least.

All of King George’s songs are reprises of the first one.  Even after the Revolution is over, you know, he changes up some of the lyrics, but it’s still the same tune.

Because a monarchy by definition is unchanging until the individual monarch’s death, and even then there’s no guarantee because of course they’re usually kept within a family.  So a monarchy cannot, by its own nature, have anything new to offer.

I need to go see this showwwwwwwww, everything about it is incredible, but the tickets are sold out for three months straight.

A lot of people have reblogged this post pointing out that “Burn” is a strictly solo piece and therefore doesn’t fit into this theory.

I’ll admit, when I first wrote this, I was in the middle of only my second listen-through, so I was writing mostly off of my impressions of the first listen-through.

I have since listened to it a few more times and specifically went back to “Burn” to double-check what it did.

And, of course, I found that it really was far outside of the structure established with the rest of the soundtrack that I vaguely outlined here (and that a lot of other people have added onto).

My response to that is: Of course it is.

“Burn” exists outside of the structure of the rest of the libretto because … wait for it … she’s taking herself out of the narrative.

You know how some people, when they go through a bad breakup, cut their hair or dye it a wild color, get a piercing, grow a beard?  Just something that helps them remove themselves from the person they were while they were in that relationship?

Well, what do you do in a musical where one of the most poignant things is the musical style?  You drop it.

Eliza sings by herself, in a style much more reminiscent of Traditional Broadway than anything else in the show (barring King George) because she’s removing herself from the story they were telling.

“Burn” exists outside of the structure of the rest of the libretto because … wait for it … she’s taking herself out of the narrative.

superhusbands4ever:

On a meta level, I think the fact that both Lin Manuel Miranda and Leslie Odom Jr. got nominated for Best Lead Actor in a Musical is fucking hilarious.

Aaron Burr will always have to compete with Alexander Hamilton for his accomplishments.

reallyanowl:

When Lafayette says he’s going back to France to get guns and ships he’s really just going next door to Les Mis to steal from the barricade

overfour-sets-of-corsets:

Okay so I just saw Hamilton yesterday and I’m still kind of in shock of the fact that I actually saw it but I’m gonna tell you guys as much as I can about it. Alright here we go!

•Only 34 of the 46 songs on the album are listed in the Playbill
•It doesn’t include Aaron Burr, Sir, A Winter’s Ball, The Story of Tonight (Reprise), Meet Me Inside, Guns and Ships, What Comes Next?, Cabinet Battle #1, Cabinet Battle #2, I Know Him, We Know, Stay Alive (Reprise), and Best of Wives and Best of Women
•Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story is called Finale in the Playbill
•There was a buttload of applause everytime a new main character was introduced
•In Alexander Hamilton, when Christopher Jackson says “moved in with a cousin, the cousins committed suicide” ensemble member Gregory Haney (I think) stands on a chair center stage and pretends to hang himself
•In Aaron Burr, Sir, when Burr says “talk less” he does little hand movements with it
•All of the beat boxing during the rap sections for Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan is just Hercules banging his fist on the table. During his verse, John takes over
•In My Shot, when Hamilton says “Mr. Lafayette hard rock like Lancelot” he points at himself with a super proud face on
•When Hamilton says “I think your pants look hot” Hercules puts his foot on the bench and swipes back his coat Michael Jackson style to reveal his lovely pants
•Later in the song when they do the “woah woah wooooooooooah…” the Schuyler sisters and some other people are on the bridge and with each “woah” they do a cool mechanical arm thing
•In The Story of Tonight Hamilton says “and when our children tell our story” the person on stage left (I don’t remember if it’s Lafayette of Mulligan) just looks really shocked like he never even thought about having kids
•In The Schuyler Sisters after Burr’s introduction Peggy comes onstage first stomping around like a tiny child and it’s really cute. Throughout the song she gets dragged around by her sisters because she’s a child who cannot be trusted
•At the end of the first chorus and the beginning of when Burr talks again, the rotating stage spins slowly and the sisters all walk in the opposite direction so it looks like they’re actually going somewhere and it’s super cool
•In Farmer Refuted Mulligan says “oh my god, tear this dude apart” to Hamilton and massages his shoulders like a wrestling coach which makes him start walking over to Seabury to speak his mind
•Then Aaron says “let him be” and Hamilton backs down, still looking kind of upset
•After that, Mulligan goes over to him and pats him on the back as a silent prompt to say something to Seabury. Aaron doesn’t see it so he thinks he won’t say anything
•When Alex finally starts talking over Seabury (who’s standing on a little footstool) he just looks really shocked and offended
•Burr is also kind of shocked because he didn’t think Hamilton would do it since he talked to him
•After a little bit, Seabury moves his footstool in front of Hamilton but he steps in front of it
•Then Hamilton gets up on the footstool with Seabury and he’s just so disheveled at this point it’s great
•In You’ll Be Back, everyone has left the stage by the time his song starts and he’s decked out in the entire outfit
•Rory O’ Malley is really good so don’t by salty if you’re seeing him and not one of the other three Georges
•In Right Hand Man when Ham goes “they’re battering down the battery check the damages…etc” He’s walking downstage and Mulligan just follows him for no other reason than to go “brrrrrah”
•When Burr is trying to talk to Washington and then Hamilton comes in, he’s like “as I was saying…” to try and continue the conversation and then G. Wash is just like “close the door on your way out” and Burr’s face just drops
•During Helpless Jasmine and Anthony keep sneaking around and doing cute couple stuff and it’s adorable
•They dabbed in the show. Twice.
•The first time is in Helpless when Hamilton gets the okay from Phillip Schuyler to marry Eliza and he does a happy dance ending in a dab
•In the beginning of Satisfied, John Laurens is just super duper drunk while he’s talking and it makes me laugh but it’s also really sad because it’s kind of a reference to him also loving Hamilton
•Then when they do the whole rewind thing, they actually rewind all of the choreography and lighting cues to get back to that might and it looks SO COOL
•A lot of the stage direction in Satisfied is the same as it was in Helpless which is to be expected but it’s still so crazy to actually watch
•At the end of Satisfied when they go back to the toast, Angelica’s entire attitude is really strained like she wants to be happy but she just can’t
•The pelvic thrust that the gang does is in The Story of Tonight (Reprise) and it starts when Mulligan says “to the newly not poor of us” and he starts the thrust, then Lafayette joins in, and finally Laurens
•Laurens’ voice just completely changes when he says “on the siiiiiiide, Burr” and it’s hilarious
•Aaron goes “she’s married to a British officer” and Alex just goes “oh shit” and it’s completely there and he doesn’t fade away when he says it or anything it’s great
•The choreography in Wait for it is really simple and beautiful and there’s only ever light on Burr
•The first time Ariana DeBose is the bullet is when you hear the gunshot at the beginning of Stay Alive because a British soldier tried to shoot Hamilton but he’s hunched over a letter so the bullet (Ariana) goes right over his head
•Charles Lee is usually played by John Rua which I didn’t know
•Thayne Jasperson is the doctor in all of the duels
•In Meet Me Inside John Laurens says “I’m satisfied” but he still tries to fight Lee and Hamilton has to hold him back
•When Washington says “thank you for your service” he takes off his hat and bows super deeply
•Pippa’s annunciation in That Would Be Enough is On Point™
•At the end of Guns and Ships G. Wash sends a letter to Hamilton and as he’s singing, the letter is taken from the stage right side of the bridge all the way to the left and down the stairs to Hamilton where he reads it and journeys to Washington
•The entirety of History has its Eyes on You is Washington talking to Hamilton
•Laurens killing the British soldier in Yorktown is so great I love it
•The dance sequence in Yorktown is just sO FREAKING AMAZING
•In What Comes Next? People are still exiting the stage from Yorktown and King George keeps running into them with a disgusted look on his face
•King George only has his fun coat robe thingy on in his first song. After that, it’s gone and he becomes more distressed and disheveled with each song that he does
•The setup for Dear Theodosia starts with Burr taking a chair on ½ stage right and standing behind it while he sings in the only pool of light onstage
•When Hamilton starts singing he brings his own chair onstage and stands behind it in the same way as Burr. The light switches to him and it goes out on Burr as he sits down in the chair
•Once Burr starts singing again his light goes back on and Alex sits in his chair
•JOHN LAURENS’ DEATH KILLED ME IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I CRIED DURING THE SHOW AND IT WAS THE SADDEST THING EVER YOU GUYS I DIED
•When Hamilton and Burr are having their midnight conversation in Non-Stop Burr is stage right and the light coming from behind him looks like he opened a door it’s cool
•When Angelica says “don’t forget to write” she’s standing on the outer circle and it rotates away from Alex like she’s going across the ocean and Eliza’s on a different part of the circle so when Angelica rotates away, she rotates to him and it’s really cool
•At the very end of What’d I Miss? Jefferson does a weird flappy arm thing and prances in a wide circle which is why Hamilton does a smaller version of it in Cabinet Battle #1
•G. Wash is a quality MC
•When Hamilton says “while you were off gettin’ high with the French!” Madison gets a coughing fit and has to sit down which causes Ham to turn his debating attention towards him
•There’s an actual piano onstage for Take a Break
•ELIZA’S MATERNAL BEATBOXING OH MY GOD IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
•Angelica and Eliza are super cute together during this song and I love them both so much because they’re super sister-y it’s great
•In Say No to This, part of the set is three lampposts spread out evenly across the outer rotating circle. At the end of the song, Maria, Alexander, and Mr. Reynolds were all standing on the outer rotating circle in roughly the same spots as the lampposts which was really cool
•James Reynolds is wearing a goddamn cowboy hat
•When Hamilton says “stop crying, goddamit, get up” Maria is actually on her knees begging
•The yes exchange between Ham and Maria near the end of the song are supposedly them having sex which makes a lot of sense but she’s literally sitting on his lap and he’s like feeling her up it’s super sexual
•At the end of Say No to This as James Reynolds is walking offstage, he claps his hands once and then Maria looks at him and starts to follow him off, then looks back one more time before exiting. It’s one of the main contributors to me that he was very controlling in the relationship
•When Hamilton says “talk less” in The Room Where it Happens he imitates Burr’s hand movements as well as his voice
•In Washington on your Side, Burr starts the song looking in the direction that Hamilton just went and Jefferson is pretty much like “who the fuck is this boy right here?”
•Madison doesn’t enter for the song until he has to talk and when he does, he’s saying “which I wrote” to some person offstage that we can’t see
•During most of the song there are just spotlights on each of the Southern Motherfuckin’ Democratic Republicans but every time they say “OH” in the song, all of the lights flash for a second and then go away so it’s just the spotlights again
•In I Know Him, Ariana DeBose whispers the name John Adams to King George from kind of far away so he goes “what.” And then she whispers it again so that he can hear it
•I Know Him ends with George sitting on a stool down stage right
•He doesn’t leave until the middle of The Adam’s Administration so in the beginning he’s trying to dance to the song from his stool but it’s in such a different style so it’s hilarious
•Leslie Odom Jr. started laughing when he looked at King George III during the song but he had to keep singing
•In We Know, Jefferson goes “my god” and the expression on his face is so great
•The lighting in Hurricane looks like an ocean and on the outer rotating circle you can see all of the things that happened to Hamilton before he came to America it’s super cool
•In The Reynolds Pamphlet, Hamilton is sitting at his desk center stage while Jefferson is reading out loud down center stage facing the audience and Philip is between them facing his father upstage
•About halfway through Jefferson’s reading, Philip backs into him and they switch places. T. Jeffs hands Lil’ Ham a pamphlet and continues to read it over his shoulder with a grin on his face (he makes sure to point out the “most of them in my own house” part). When he’s done reading, he sends Philip on his way where he looks up at his dad and walks offstage with his head hung low
•T. Jeffs is just bouncing up and down on Hamilton’s desk during the song I don’t know how he bounces so much
•Daveed Diggs as Thomas Jefferson is super bouncy
•There are a lot of happy dances in the show
•Like
•A lot of happy dances
•FUCKING BURN HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE SECOND TIME I CRIED IN THE SHOW
•When Eliza set the letters on fire I was just bawling my eyes out I was a fucking mess during a lot of the second act
•When Philip talks to Eaker during the show there’s an actual show being performed center stage that pauses during their conversation and resumes when it’s over
•George Eaker is a piece of shit.
•George Eaker is a piece of shit.
•I want to strangle George Eaker with my bare hands
•There are sound effects during Stay Alive (Reprise) of blood gushing from a wound and it’s horrifying
•Whenever Philip tries to talk you can hear how much pain he’s in and Anthony Ramos’s acting is so amazing
•Stay Alive (Reprise) was the third time I cried
•Eliza’s scream at the end made me want to curl up into a ball and die
•It’s Quiet Uptown also made me cry
•The lighting completely blacked out center stage during the whole song which made it look like a chasm
•When Madison says “please” in The Election of 1800 he’s wiping his eyes with a handkerchief and it’s so sweet
•Burr hears what everyone is saying about each of the presidential candidates and when the guys say “like you could grab a beer with him” he’s like “yes” but he doesn’t actually say it and he’s does a little fist thingy
•The second dab is in The Election of 1800 when Hamilton promotes Jefferson instead of Burr and he does his own happy dance involving a dab
•While Hamilton’s talking, Burr and Jefferson are standing on different sides of the stage. Burr has a really excited smile and Jefferson has a smug-ass grin
•When Hamilton says “Jefferson has my vote” Burr’s smile slowly turns into a really angry face
•In Your Obedient Servant, Burr sends one paper as his letter. What he gets back from Hamilton is at least five pieces of paper and Burr just looks at them like “good lord Hamilton writes too goddamn much”
•"This man will not make an orphan of my daughter" broke me and I cried for the fourth time during the show
•Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story was just me attempting to process everything that had happened

If you guys have any questions about the show feel free to ask me! My inbox is always open!

caps-bestgirl:

Angelica: I came as soon as I heard.

Alexander: Angelica, thank God someone who understands what I’m struggling here to do.

Me: 

beebourieedo:

ur magical and i believe in u

iztarshi:

Inspired by various tumblr posts.

Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.

Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.

You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.

That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?

You really want a human.

fishyfellow:

snorlaxatives:

the-little-engine-that-couldnt:

snorlaxatives:

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

This really cheered me up

penicillium-pusher:

my favorite thing Matt Murdock does is turn off the lights when he goes and fights people like “lmao who’s blind now motherfuckers, taste my sticks of justice”

brbgottagoread:

Me: *gets anxiety making a phone call* Also me: *feels completely at ease and downright cheerful wandering around unfamiliar city with only vague knowledge of how to get to where I’m going*

satirizing:

speaking of misogyny

let me tell you guys something that ACTUALLY happened in my screenwriting class last week

one of the female writers in our class is writing a feature about this gang of teenage girls who sort of become vigilantes and murder men who harass women (that’s a shitty logline of it but it’s actually fucking awesome and highly stylized and over-exaggerated like tarantino in a good way bc i fucking hate tarantino). ANYWAY their first kill is this guy named taylor. taylor is one of the girl’s boyfriends. it is heavily implied and the writer confirmed that he abuses and rapes her. not explicitly seen, but she has bruises, there are scenes implying it etc.

so. she wrote the part where they kill taylor. and one of my professor’s comments was about how he felt like he didn’t hate taylor enough.

to which me and my female friend were like um what?? we hate him. he fucking raped and abused her. wE HATE HIM. HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON.

and my prof was like well yeah i hate him but i don’t HATE hate him. and we argued about it. so he took a poll of who hated taylor. ALL of the girls in the class raised their hands. none of the boys did. when he asked who didn’t hate taylor all of the men raised their hands. and me and my friend started laughing because of COURSE they did.

and my prof was like why are you laughing and the writer was like “i think they’re laughing at the gender difference in that answer” and my prof was like “well, from my male perspective, i don’t think i’m being sexist”

WHAT.

first of all did you hear that sentence at ALL do you understand how paradoxical it is?????

second of all, no. just no.

and then my prof went on to say “i feel like we need to see taylor be horrible. like bad solution, he kicks a dog”

evidently a man can abuse and rape a girl and not be hated, but if he kicks a dog then he’s PURE EVIL

and THAT is exactly what’s wrong with our society