tbh if adult Remus Lupin with an actual job persuaded Neville to transform his boggart into Snape wearing women’s clothes, god knows what shit he was up to when he was a teenager
Don’t you tell me that remus wasn’t a tiny prototype of satan
the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.
im crying anyways how do i thank these tiny little babies
Right, so. I’m angry all over again and I’m going to be angry for a while, because if I see one more idiot defending the rape scene over the fact that “that was just what happened in medieval times,” I am going to put a brick through my computer screen. This won’t be as long or…
ok but what if like. werewolves transform under the full moon but theres just this one and by day hes a big tough guy and then when he transforms hes a tiny dog. just fucking. just fucking turns into the tiniest, fluffiest dog
“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.
A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.
I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,
So what happens if two people who have promised their firstborn to separate witches have a child together? Do they both just pop up in the nursery and have a custody battle?
I need a book about a little girl whose parents had promised their firstborn to different witches and the only way that both ends of the deal were fulfilled was for them to have joint custody of the child.
I love it!
And then the witches, forced to share a cottage while raising their joint stolen child, fall in love…
bisexual people passing as straight when they’re in a straight relationship is not “passing privilege.” it’s erasure. it’s assimilation.
that’s like saying that femme lesbians have privilege over butch lesbians. invisibility might keep people safer on a micro-level which is fucked up, but it’s all based on people thinking they can tell who’s queer & who’s straight just by looking at them, which is infinitely problematic and painful.
don’t alienate queer people who are assumed to be straight. invisibility is a symptom of hetero-normativity, not a privilege.
Saying “we white people have no culture” sounds like this cool, self-critical, anti-racist statement but it’s actually making out that the ways white people (by which the speaker almost always means white Christian Anglophone Americans or occasionally white Christian Anglophone Brits) live/eat/make art/ think about ethics etc. is just the Default way of doing things and everyone else is wierd and fascinating.
English is a language, not default human speech.
Christianity is a religion, not default human belief.
Western nuclear families are a specific social arrangement, not default human living arrangement.
White Anglophone cultures’ ideas about gender are a specific set of ideas, not default human gender.
The Latin alphabet is an alphabet, not default human writing.
Modern staff notation is a specific musical system, not default human music.
“White people food” is a specific kind of food (or rather several specific kinds) not default human food.
Christmas and Easter are specific religious/cultural festivals, and the specific ways they are celebrated in white Anglophone Christian communities are specific forms of celebration, they are not default human annual events.
Assuming white Anglophone Christian norms are just default human behaviour isn’t actually challenging racism.
SCIENCE HAS CONFIRMED THAT DOGS LOVE US BACK BECAUSE THEY GET THE SAME RUSH OF OXYTOCIN WHEN THEY LOOK AT US THAT WE GET WHEN WE LOOK AT THEM
Are you telling me that dogs are looking up to us and think “omg what an adorable fucking cutiepie”?
a while ago I read an article about how dogs love us back, but recognize that we’re different from them, while cats see us as bigger and clumsier than them, but do not consider us different
Dogs: I am fuzzy creature and you are a different adorable creature and I love you!!!!! Cats: I am lanky and graceful and you are a giant mess
This is why cats occasionally try to bathe and feed us
It’s true; cats see us as giant dumb hairless babies. That’s why they bring us half-dead prey– to teach us how to hunt and eat properly. That’s why they attack when we rub their bellies– that’s how parent cats teach kittens to defend themselves. That’s also why they meow– cats communicate with other adults on a frequency we can’t hear, but meow at kittens because their ears aren’t fully developed. They even specialized a set of meows they use only for humans, because we are especially deaf babies.
I laugh so much at those homophobes who are into literature and classic stuff because like hey you’re into michelangelo? gAY. you like Virginia Woolf books? totally leSBO. you think oscar wilde is modernist and agree with his philosophies? gAY. you like the iliad? greek mythology? any era of history tbh? GAY GAY TRIPLE GAY. everything you love is covered in gay. all the great writers and musicians and artists you admire were queer as all hell hAH
HEY WRITERS OF ALL KINDS AND AGES AND MAYBE EVEN DNDERS OR TABLETOP GAMERS ARE YOU READY FOR SOMETHING SUPER RAD? I HOPE SO ‘CAUSE
RANDOM
MAP
GENERATOR
WITH
EDITING FEATURES AVAILABLE
IT DOESN’T REALLY DO LAND MASSES OR ANYTHING BUT IT SURE AS HELL WILL MAP THAT CITY/VILLAGE/SHIP/DUNGEON/WHATEVER THAT YOU’VE BEEN MEANING TO MAP OUT FOR YOU
Sex tip: If he’s pressuring you to do anal, buy a dildo the same size as his dick, and ask him to do it first. If he’s scared of the pain- case closed. There’s absolutely no reason that he should expect it to feel any differently for you. If he says that it would be emasculating, belittling or ‘gay’, then that man is a misogynistic homophobe, and you better run for the hills as fast as your legs can take you.
It’s my business when men are forcing their girlfriends into anal sex. It’s my business when women are getting surgeries on their labia and breasts so they can look like model’s in playboy, its my business because young girls are being forced to act out porn scenes with their first boyfriends in case their boyfriends leave them or stop thinking that they’re hot, it’s my business when men are so gorged on porn they think a woman who doesn’t send nude pictures is weird, its my business when men are taking up-skirt photos and groping women, it’s my business when women are being forced to have sex without condoms so that it will feel better ‘for men’, because there are no condoms in porn scenes, its my business when women are lying and faking their orgasms because porn has taught men that sex is about THEIR pleasure, and that sex is just endlessly pumping their dick into a woman over and over again, it’s my business when I can’t look up anything on the internet without coming across advertisements for porn, its my business when I can’t look up any information on my sexual orientation without being overrun by porn even with the safe search on. Its my business, its my business,its my fucking business.
That’s the expected cost to taxpayers over 10 years from Obama’s proposed free tuition plan, the White House admitted Friday.
That’s about the cost of 8 months of war in Iraq. Seems like a much better investment of my tax dollars to me.
I bolded
It’s amazing how 80 billion isn’t worth mentioning when it’s about killing people, but is suddenly a huge, horrifying barrier when it’s about improving lives.
I’d still pay for it this. I’d be the one good thing my taxes would be going towards. Cause it sure ain’t going to infrastructure or schools at this rate »
Real talk, if any of you guys need me to be your fake gf/BF because you got some creep talking to you, let me know. I got you. I’ll make myself look hot and be all lovey and intimidating so they can hop off
Any time guys I got you. No strings attached fake relationship partner here ready to go.
I have the possessive girlfriend thing down and I’ve been told that I do scary like no one else. I expect nothing in return. I got you covered.
sometimes i’m like “why am i still here” but then i realize that i’m often the only person who is around to take bad-to-eat stuff out of my dog’s mouth and i think there’s this sort of western idea of “if youre not CEO youre nothing special” but my dog is still alive bc of me and i’m still alive bc of other people so maybe i’m just here to pet cats and wear sweaters and help people take the glass out of their mouth. you know? maybe i won’t be CEO but maybe i’ll be able to help somebody afford their trip home. and i think that’s pretty okay, you know?
This one time i was in church and my mom said she would give me 10$ if while the priest was flinging “holy water” at us i would run into the aisle once he passed and start hissing and screaming “IT BURNS”
do u know how many angry Christians i got in my inbox because of this
666?
Why isn’t anyone talking about what a great sense of humor your mom has?
my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.”
so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree.
she’s so pleased with her self
incredible
parents are weird
yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.
you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.
but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support
what’s it like to be taller than 5’2”??? is it nice? can you comfortabley reach cupboards?
We live in constant fear of the short ones, who (in my experience) will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table, and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want
Alright story time.
I’m 6′0″, and one of the ways I assert my dominance over short people poke fun at short people is by holding my hand all the way up and asking them for a high five.
I do this all the time, but in highschool, I was friends with this one girl who I swear was about 4′5″ at most, and I put my hand all the way up and asked her for a high five.
Without hesitation, she literally climbed up my side like a fucking ladder and gave me the high five before hopping off and staring at my slack jawed face.
The Deserter’s Song (Radical Face) :: Man Burning (Josh Ritter) :: Hail St. Sebastian (The Mountain Goats) :: Hebrews 11:40 (The Mountain Goats) :: This Losing Fight (Sons of Bill) :: When The Pin Hits The Shell (The Drive-By Truckers) :: Hurt (Quiet) (Nine Inch Nails) :: All Is Well (It’s Only Blood (Radical Face) :: Good Man (Josh Ritter) :: Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1 (The Mountain Goats)
