hades isn’t a badass. hades named his three-headed-guard-of-the-underworld-dog spot. hades whispers to his flowers to make them grow. hades grows fruit. there’s no sun in the underworld.
hades isn’t a badass. stop saying this false thing
In myth, Hades’ most remarked upon traits are 1) how
responsible/reliable he is, 2) how sober-minded he is, 3) how dedicated,
implacable, and long-remembering he is, and 4) how boring and grim
most of the other Olympians think he is to be around. Oh and notably,
that if you play him a song he likes, he’ll basically give you anything
you ask for (though not without conditions.)
Hades is, canonically, a gigantic nerd. If they’d had train sets,
he’d have been the Olympian who collected train sets, meticulously corrected with exacto knife and hobby-paints the errors toy-makers introduced to those train sets, and then endlessly talked about
those train sets to anyone sat next to him at thanksgiving dinner (when
he wasn’t trying to rope them into an interminable discussion about
gardening or divine law, that is.)
He’s the sort of god who frequently handed out punishment like giving
someone a million-piece puzzle where every piece is shaped the same,
that resets itself at the start of every day if you don’t complete it,
and then he keeps the last piece on his person at all times as a secret
private joke for eternity because he finds you personally
distasteful (not even because he’s mad at you or hates you particularly;
he just doesn’t like you as a person)
He is. A. Gigantic. Nerd.
He’s also like one of the only gods who is faithful to his wife. And he listens to her like when she asks for a soul to be released and he’s like “But honey, the rules.” And she just gives him that look and he goes “Yes dear,” and lets the soul go with the easiest freaking instructions ever in a myth. And the human still fucks it up. Not his fault Persephone, not Hades’ fault this time.
Essentially, Hades is sorta like the accountant suburban dad who collects really specific figurines and gets really grumpy when people mess up his lawn. Do you know how hard his wife worked on those roses? He is calling his attorney. Oh wait, he is also an attorney.
ppl who dont understand the dynamic of ethnic oppression in europe obviously havent gotten to that unit in 7th grade history how close minded and uneducated can u be to not understand that all racism is oppression but not all oppression is racism how can u turn a blind eye to the fact that yes a great vast majority of holocaust victims were white but would u not classify the deadliest genocide in history as oppression??? when franco was trying to wipe out non-castilian ethnic groups in spain like the catalans and the basques and the galicians was that not oppression???? what about the balkan conflicts in the 90s??? yes somewhere within their histories these oppressed groups have benefited from white/european privilege but that doesn’t mean that they haven’t been oppressed and targeted and killed off because the american formula for discrimination is not something that can be applied to the rest of the world’s history esp countries that have been somewhat racially homogenous until the modern globalized era
“I love that character,” I say as I come up with upsetting headcanons for them. “Absolutely adore them,” I tell you as I bunny up sad story ideas for them. “They’re my favorite,” I sigh as I pick the most depressing songs for a playlist for them.
“I just want them to be happy,” I insist as I write horribly angsty oneshots centered around their misery.
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
the roman emperor Gaius made his favorite horse a senator.
“Things I must you tell a lot of, believe it you hardly can, but hear tomorrow it already will you, be well in the meantime. Oh my ass burns like fire! what on earth is the meaning of this!—maybe muck wants to come out?” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, in a letter to his cousin Marianne
The Romans would add lead to their wine because they thought it tasted better, historians believe that this caused a rise in the amount of mentally disabled babies, possibly including Gaius and some other emperors
why y’all saying “Gaius” like it means shit though
it’d be like “president John” or “James” or “George”
Buy a bat (I have my old color guard rifle) or similar. Keep it in your room/near your bed.
Get a lock for your bedroom door.
If you’re moving into a new place, change the locks. Who knows who had a key to your place before you.
Keep your phone/a phone in your room.
Get a weather alert system set up. App, weather call, little weather radio that tells you about major weather events.
Adopt a pet
Wave at your neighbors. Take note of the ones that make you uneasy. Watch out for kids always.
Be nice to your mail person. No matter what.
If you choose to drink/etc alone, unplug your wifi router. You’ll thank me.
Have extra seating. People sit when they visit. Your one comfy chair is great for you. Not so great for you + grandma + ur five cousins, your aunt, and a couple others.
Learn the self-Heimlich
When you take a shower, bring your phone to the bathroom in case you fall your phone is no longer halfway across the house, it’s just on your counter
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Idk what else
If you live in an one-room apartment, put a screen around your bed. It’ll feel less like you visit people, esp. strangers, into your bedroom. Also you’ll feel much safer sleeping in the enclosure.
Cook enough for a few meals each time you cook, and freeze the extra food. That way you’ll prevent things from expiring and it’s great when you don’t feel like cooking or have no time or energy for it.
Give a key to someone near you trust, or hid it somewhere few people will look, like up in a tree. Shutting yourself out isn’t nice, esp. not at night.
Put something translucent like curtains or stickers for windows where people can walk past or look in. You’ll feel less watched that way.
Put some contant money somewhere in your room. Good to have in case your bag gets lost or stolen.
Feeling lonely? Remember, online contacts are not less valuable.
I would say maybe set reminders for everything too. Taking meds/vitamins, working out, going to sleep, waking up.
Buy a small fan for white noise at night if you’re the kind (like me) that gets anxious at all the little ambient noises that ANY building can supply in the dark.
Don’t watch scary movies in the dark by yourself, with no visitors.
NETFLIX, if you can afford it. It’s also useful because you can watch movies / shows with your online buddies at the same time, miles and states and (sometimes even) countries apart.
get an app like safetrek. never walk into allies or empty streets if there is a more populated/well-lit route to your destination. keep emergency contacts in your wallet and a red cross card with your blood type on it in case anything happens. carry a list of medications you’re allergic to, if any.
walking around with a headset or headphones discourages people from yelling at you on the street, and it’s easier to escape from hasslers. however, it’s pretty advisable to not have anything actually playing so you can be aware of your surroundings. if anything, have it at low volume.
if you get grabbed on the street (this used to happen to me a lot), immediately scream, and the person will usually get startled, giving you time to get away.
if you feel like you’re in a really bad place, call someone, or even pretend like you’re calling someone. say where you are. act like you’re planning on meeting up with them. be loud about it. make it seem like someone will notice if you go missing, even for a little bit.
also u should look up manufacturer’s coupons like damn i feel like a successful suburban mom every time i walk into cvs and save 2 dollars on my toothbrushes
Have a backup of three days’ worth of meds if you can. Hide it so nobody steals it and you aren’t tempted to use it instead of refilling. Replace these fairly often.
Have a decent first aid kit – you can buy one or put one together from other purchased parts. Know how to use it. There’s great resources for how to build and use one online.
Keep a supply of hygiene/illness supplies on hand; pads, tampons, yes, but also heating pad/water bottle/rice bag. Thermometer, a variety of painkillers, cold medicine.
A couple big trash bags, some quick and easy cleaning supplies, a box of corn starch (to solidify liquid messes), latex/vinyl/nitrile gloves, plastic shopping bags, some extra cleaning cloths and washrags in a bucket under the sink in the bathroom. You WANT to plan ahead for horrifying messes, TRUST me, my darling babies. If you’re going to be going off at both ends during a nasty bout of the Martian Death Flu, you want to spread one of those bags out on the floor to contain misses and spills, keep the bucket with a shopping bag in it handy, and STAY BRAVE. This from experience. This REALLY helped ease my mind when I was the sickest I had ever been.
Extra hidden toilet paper, baby wipes to clean up tender areas, basically anything you might need in an emergency where you are really sick and can’t leave the house.
Make sure there is a list of emergency contacts posted visibly in your house, numbers along with names and relations. Put the numbers for a people and a pet poison control center on there, too, you might need them. Maybe even make sure your address is written there. In a panic, I have forgotten my own address. This is eminently possible if you move a lot.
Have a notebook hidden somewhere with all the important adult stuff you need to know in it. Go nuts with it. Not your bank account number, but your bank’s number to call if your card is stolen. Your car’s information. Utility company billing numbers. Just … anything you might need quick reference for or might need in an emergency if your house is thoroughly robbed. Hide this book where you can find it and could direct someone to it, but it isn’t in plain sight.
Have a notebook with all your friends’ and relatives addresses and phone numbers, and if possible, their hours of operation, in case you need to reach people fast, or in case you need someone to talk to NOW. Call those numbers when you have to. Please.
And, last, something I really don’t want to have to tell you to do, but I’m gonna do it anyway because it makes things easier in an emergency.
Please have handy the phone number of an emergency 24-hour vet. Have it on your fridge so you can remain calmheaded and not flail around in what’s already gonna be a hard time for both of you. CALL AHEAD and tell them what to expect so they can be ready for you. Stay calm as you can, your pet needs you. You can freak out later. Be strong.
And please think in advance what you plan to do with your friend’s mortal remains so when the time comes you aren’t caught not knowing what to do.
Talk to your family about whether you want your organs donated after you die, and what they want done with their organs.
I don’t get how some mothers can say “i don’t care the gender as long as the baby’s healthy i will love them” before going into labour for 8+ hours then 17 years later kick their daughter Jessica out of the house because she was born a Justin.
omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon
and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there
and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza
and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door
so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens
What I love about Wilson Fisk is that when Vanessa initially rejects him, and then later says she doesn’t know if she wants to see him again, he respects that and is like alright if you’re not interested I’ll just get on with my business and he doesn’t push her into anything so I guess the takeaway is if a man who bashes peoples heads off with car doors treats women better that you do, you need to rethink some things in your life
In about four days of existing this post has gained more notes than I have followers. There have been some pretty interesting tags and comments so far:
My favorite thing, though, is people including the names of their stuffed animals:
“i just got turned into an incubus or a succubus and i’m like the least smooth and most self-conscious person on the planet so i’m literally starving because i don’t know how to seduce people” AU. BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE A VIRGIN.
“i’m a siren and i keep accidentally forgetting that i have roommates now and and end up putting them in my thrall when i’m singing taylor swift songs in the shower” AU
“i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU
“i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO” AU
“i’m a med student who has a huge crush on the hot guy who works at the coffee shop who always gives me free drinks when i’m stressed and calls me princess even though i pretend i think it’s annoying but i’m extremely concerned about him because he always smells like smoke so i always give him lectures about how terrible cigarettes are for you and i may have made a powerpoint which is probably excessive but lung health is extremely important and oops it turns out he’s part-dragon or something hahahaha oops” AU
“my best friend got turned into a frog and now i’m being the best wingman/woman/person ever by carrying them around to bars and getting hot people to kiss them in hopes of hooking them up with their true love” AU
“i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class” AU
i just saw an ad that was probably supposed to say accident lawyers but it said accidental lawyers and i can’t sotp laughing “just got my law degree aw man this wasn’t what i meant to do how am i gonna get out of this one”
i love this post because my dad literally got his law degree by accident?? he was the first person in his family to go to college and he didn’t understand how majors worked (he thought that it was just like.. if you take a lot of math classes you’re a math major and that it was just a figure of speech) so when it was time for him to declare his he realized he hadn’t actually been working towards any major in particular.
so he went through and looked at the required classes for every major offered at his college to see if the classes he had taken matched with anything, and lo and behold he found a pre-law degree. and he thought, “well ok, i guess being a lawyer doesn’t sound too bad.” and that’s how my dad became a lawyer.
do you have any recs for (ya) books (or movies!) that ~feel~ like fanfiction? (this is a weird ask, but i feel like if anyone were to understand what i mean, it's you?) cheers
books:
A Hero at the End of the World by Erin Claiborne (coffeeshop AU, but also MAGICAL)
Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith (bisexual awakening slash sci-fi B movie apocalypse AU)
The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater (modern AU Marauders)
Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz (human/merboy AU)
The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black (what if vampires? AU)
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz (a plain old fashioned high school AU of the first water)
The Secret History by Donna Tartt (college AU written by a classics major)
Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman (one of those boring in theory but actually incredible AUs that make you never want to read the source material ever again)
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (this is literally a novel based on fanfiction one of her characters wrote in Fangirl, sooo - COMING THIS OCTOBER)
other media:
Penny Dreadful (gothic literature fanfiction with a few OCs, like Ethan, the gunslinging, soft-spoken, bisexual American werewolf)
Jupiter Ascending (someone got their hands on the self-insert novel you wrote when you were 12 and threw a few million dollars at it)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (I mean seriously)
Sense8 (all these people have a mental connection, experience each others’ lives, and have singalongs and group sex)
The History Boys (high school AU, bonus everyone’s queer)
Kill Your Darlings (highbrow film about a literary movement, actually includes the shit you wanna see like library blowjobs and Daniel Radcliffe getting banged, possibly feels like fanfiction because visually it is Drarry)
Agent Carter (cute G-rated WIP about Peggy’s adventures, will probably end up being Peggy/Angie, makes you cry about Steve like 10 times even though it’s a gen fic)
It was my senior year in high school and wrestling season had just ended. My aunt sent me a congratulatory musical card – the kind that plays part of a song when you open it – which I thought would be fun to tape to the inside of my locker (I shared this locker with a friend of mine) so that it played every time I opened it. This one played “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner. It worked, and I enjoyed it for a few days until the weekend which I spent in the mountains on a hiking trip with my dad and brother.
When the trip was over I checked my phone and saw that I had a voicemail from my locker-mate saying there was “a bomb scare or something” and that I had to talk to my principal on Monday. That Monday morning, I met with my principal who explained to me that a night janitor heard a ticking noise coming from my locker (apparently that’s what those cards start to do when they run low on battery) and called the police, who called the bomb squad, who shut down the two major intersecting roads near my school and brought in a robot to inspect my locker. When the robot x-rayed the locker, they saw the “device” taped to the door, some half-empty water bottles that happened to be on the top shelf that they thought must have been chemicals or explosives. They also thought they saw wires connecting everything together. Eventually they saw the monstrosity for what it was and shut down the operation, but apparently it was a pretty elaborate production. The article made the front page of the local newspaper the next day, complete with a photo and everything.
I never really got into trouble in high school and the principal knew who I was, so after talking for a few minutes we agreed that the whole thing was an honest mistake and that there was no malicious intent (although he said some parents were upset to the point that they wanted me suspended, expelled, or even to pursue some kind of legal action) and he let me off the hook.
In his own words: “I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to lecture you about, but I have to say something. I guess don’t… uhh… modify lockers anymore?”
So a new blog has started called “Is There Rape In It”. Basically, it’s a blog dedicated to listing movies, TV shows, and videos game that have rape in them, so that victims and survivors can avoid triggers.
Since they have just started up, they don’t have full lists yet. So if you are aware of rape in any of those forms of media, please reblog their lists and let them know!
One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.
OKAY BUT NO LISTEN TO THE MAD MAX THEME IN ITS ENTIRETY BECAUSE IT IS FOR REAL A THING OF UNPARALLELED AWE-INSPIRING RAMPAGING TRIUMPHANT PERFECTION
the fucking RAGE DRUMS and the P.T. Barnum-esque fuckin’ CIRCUS MUSIC - like, you know shit is going to get CRAY when that comes in - and it’s just this continuous pounding build that leads into these STRINGS that are so incongruously fucking BEAUTIFUL and hope-stirring and victorious and sure you might be racing straight to your fucking death on this hell-road but goddamn it you’re going down swinging
I MEANNNNNNNNN
this movie did a lot - a lot - of things right but holy shit son
this soundtrack is transcendent
Like…thirty seconds into the soundtrack and I’m going “BRING ME MY WHEEL, WARBOYS, AND LOAD UP THE RIG.”
the thing about being someone who’s never catcalled is that you start to wonder why like is it because im ugly???
and then you realize that youre judging your worth by whether or not you are objectifiable to a man and thats so fucked up like honestly its so fucked up
but the worst part about the patriarchy is that it still sits at the back of your mind regardless like “nobody thinks youre pretty because they dont see you as a sex object” like somehow thats a desirable thing and it fucks me up
You’re either public property or completely invisible.
so i took my 16 year old brother to see mad max yesterday, and it’s all he can talk about, claiming it might be his favorite movie and can’t wait to see it again
some of the things he loved? (without being prompted by myself whatsoever)
he loved that in that world oppression clearly existed, especially for women, but women had a hand in overthrowing that system
he loved that the extent of the sexualization by the film makers (and not the clearly evil bad guy) was the women bathing fully clothed - he was a little worried at that point and looked at me in the theater wary of what might be coming, but was quickly relieved
he loved that Mad Max was made no lesser a man by working with Furiosa
after he said all that on the way home, i asked him if he thought guys wouldn’t like it because the main character is a woman to which he replied “SHE’S A BADASS AND IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT THEY’RE MISSING OUT”
(in an argument) oh wow you really fucked up now asshole. you just committed a post ad ergo hoc argumentum ad epidermis propter nauseum ad hominahomina magna cum laude, fuckface. prepare to taste my blade
I am fluent in Latin and like seventy percent of that was prepositions.
why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist
yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter”
what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady
Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein is not the monster.
Wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster.
I said many ignorant people nowadays thought ‘Frankenstein’ was the name of the monster, and not of the scientist who created him. Mary Shelley said, ‘That’s not so ignorant after all. There are two monsters in my story, not one. And one of them, the scientist, is indeed named Frankenstein.’
(Kurt Vonnegut)
It makes you want to give Mary Shelley a high five. I’m glad she knew how brilliant she was all along.
I will never understand girls who throw their bras at guys on stage those things are fucking expensive and he has no use for it like what do you want him to do pass it down to his first born daughter
I thought this was going to be slut-shaming but it’s glorious
So I had this internship in India. While there, I got sick. It wasnt a big deal, just needed an IV and some antibiotics, in and out in like three hours. I go to pay for my hospital bill (which was like $70) and the receptionist person asks me what I do/why I am in India. They find out that I am a student in America and they give me a discount because they know how poor American students are.
If anyone’s trying to learn a language I’ve recently discovered this company called the Language Pod Company and it is so much better than Rosetta Stone and it’s completely free (unless you’d like one-one-one teacher-student help then it’s like $25 a month which tbh you shouldn’t really need because they make it really clear in the lessons). It’s super easy to navigate and it even gives you a history of the language. There are audio and video lessons. Real-life situations and different speakers. They even write the letters for you because I know sometime it’s hard to learn to write in a language that doesn’t use the same alphabet that you’re used to. You’re welcome.
Reblog if you’re part of the ‘I read a lot of fan fiction and now I have a bizarrely accurate judgement of how long it takes me to read a particular number of words’ squad
gaslighting is not disagreeing with your interpretation of what happened, subjectively. It’s disagreeing with the literal, objective, even physical facts of what happened, and telling you you’re remembering them wrong.
this can be done on a societal scale, but it’s a lot less like “millennials are lazy and entitled” and a lot more like “the united states has never practiced military interventions in latin america”
like, for instance, my mother used to cuss me out when she was angry and call me a bitch, and tell me I was ruining her life, etc.
she would sometimes tell me that I was whining and making a big deal out of nothing after this happened. this was a cruel, abusive thing to tell a twelve year old. it wasn’t gaslighting, though.
she also used to rely on the fact that I have memory problems and later tell me that those events literally never happened, and I was making them up completely or had “dreamed them.” this is gaslighting.
someone who wasn’t there for the events, doesn’t know what happened, and isn’t on an orchestrated campaign to make you trust their memories in place of your own isn’t gaslighting you. that doesn’t mean they’re behaving well or aren’t abusing you, but gaslighting is a specific abuse tactic, not just anything someone does that’s out of line.
california anti-drought measures are always like “take shorter showers! consider brushing your teeth with the sink turned off” and never mention the fact that nestle is bottling all of our fucking water and selling it to people who live in areas with plenty of water
It’s like the Irish potato “famine” I stg
In California, residential use only accounts for 4% of total water use. Industrial use is 80%.
Source:
This is true of any resource. Yes turning your lights off will save you a but of money. But industry wastes far more electricity than you. Yes recycling your garbage is good. But companies, like the retail chain i work at produce far more garbage than you ever could and do not recycle it at all.
Turning natural resource and environmental crises into individual responsibility is form of class warfare so fucking insidious
Honestly just burn every company to the ground or cut them off from electricity and water systems
Tax them heavily for their usage Make recycling mandatory or theyre fined Oh im sorry am i stepping all over your precious free market I hope to choke it out
