Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

roaringwhitelion:

okcissie:

I’ve noticed that Minion bath products are a thing, and that many of them are banana-scented.

The fragrance used to impart a banana scent is called isoamyl acetate. Isoamyl acetate is also an alarm pheromone in bees. It’s released when a bee stings something/someone, prompting other bees to sting the same target.

The Minion shampoo has mysteriously infiltrated my house, and my youngest sibling (the only one who uses it) has not been stung since its appearance, but I wouldn’t count on anecdotal evidence…

If you have an allergy to bee stings, I strongly recommend choosing a different scent.

I’m a chemist and I found out I’m allergic to bees after working with isoamyl acetate and being stung twice on my way home from work. Do not use isoamyl acetate as a fragrance and especially not on children, which Minions are marketed to.

Please please please not on children. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

avatarmerida:

screwyouhiddleston:

i’m in the “i want a black widow movie not a sixth spiderman film” squad

marvel keeps making movies about the wrong arachnid

asleepywitch:

sidereanuncia:

txwatson:

severusluver:

gulag-nietzschean:

I LEARNED RECENTLY THAT PLATO WON THE GOLD MEDAL IN THE OLYMPICS FOR WRESTLING THREE TIMES. THIS PUTS A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS. I ALWAYS IMAGINED PLATO TO BE FRAIL AND MISSHAPEN BUT HE MUST HAVE BEEN FRICKEN RIPPED. I WONDER IF ARISTOTLE EVER FELT ANXIETY ABOUT GETTING PHYSICALLY (I.E. NOT JUST METAPHYSICALLY) DISMANTLED BY PLATO. PLATO WAS PROBABLY PISSED OFF BY AT LEAST A HANDFUL OF QUESTIONS ARISTOTLE ASKED HIM. ARISTOTLE WAS A LITERAL GENIUS TOO. IMAGINE PLATO LECTURING AND WRITING ON A BLACKBOARD AND ARISTOTLE THROWING A COMMENT OUT THERE ABOUT SOME COMPLEX MISSTEP IN PLATO’S LOGIC AND PLATO’S CHALK JUST SNAPS AND ARISTOTLE’S TESTICLES SUCK WAY BACK UP TO WHERE THEY DROPPED FROM, THEN PLATO IN A BLUR APPEARS BESIDE ARISTOTLE SITTING AT HIS DESK AND HE PICKS HIM UP AND SUPLEXES HIS MACEDONIAN ASS.

This needs to be a comic.

louisrzurn

given the content of a lot of Plato’s conclusions I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Plato responded to a lot of reasonable criticisms with “Fight me” and that was the end of it.

ANOTHER FUN PLATO FACT

People think of Plato as kind of feeble because we think of philosophers that way, but some historians believe that we have conclusive evidence that he wasn’t

and it’s been staring us in the face the whole time.

Because Plato’s real name wasn’t Plato - it was Aristocles. 

So some historians believe that ‘Plato’ was a nickname, bestowed upon him by his buddies. And do you know what Plato roughly translates to when you flip it out of greek? Broad. As in, broad shouldered.

This guy’s been going around with a name that literally means ‘Buff McWrestleton’ and we still think of him as a feeble old guy (probs. because Aristotle wanted us to…)

Plato confirmed for big buff cheeto puff.

let-the-phoenix-fly:

malfxoys:

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

Read the whole thing.

prismatic-bell:

gengarites:

JOHN JOLIE-PITT IS NOT A GIRL

STOP SAYING HE IS

STOP CALLING HIM BY HIS BIRTH NAME

END THE TRANSPHOBIA IN THE MEDIA

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

For those who may genuinely not know—since the media likes to make sure you don’t—John is the chosen name of the Jolie-Pitt child the media refers to as Shiloh. Angelina first noticed signs of transness in John when he was about three and angrily refused to wear pink or dresses, insisting they were “for girls” in language that separated himself from “girls” as a group. Angelina and Brad chose to do the appropriate thing and ask John what kind of clothes he would like to wear and what he would like to be called. He chose his own name, and chooses his own clothes and haircut.

As a result of this Brad and Angelina have faced severe media backlash, including accusations that they are not fit parents and media support of Brad’s mother, who forcibly dresses John in girls’ clothes when he visits her. The Jolie-Pitts are doing everything they possibly can to affirm to their son that his identity is valid (including Angelina recently restricting Grandma’s access to him on the basis that her son’s mental health is more important than his grandmother’s self-righteousness), and the media is doing everything it possibly can to say they’re wrong.

Support the Jolie-Pitt children and parents, and remember that his name is John, and he is a boy.

bonehandledknife:

redshoesnblueskies:

anothertgwfan:

busy-beaver:

fangirljeanne:

awkwardthuggin:

I don’t know how many of you guys know about it but this new movie, “Mad Max” just came out  and has already reached critical acclaim. I haven’t seen it , but it’s supposed to be this groundbreaking masterpiece and a huge step for feminism. Which is all good and dandy In theory. But on tumblr there’s been a lot of criticism because the ALL white cast (with the minor exception of Zoe Kravitz). One of the most frustrating things about these types of movies and conversations is that there’s ALWAYS these white feminists that want to tell POC that we have to overlook lack of diversity and basically “take one for the team” (the team being feminism/woman). No. I’m not going to do it. It is fucking disrespectful and borderline racist for you, a white person, to tell minority women that we have to ignore not being represented. Since turning 18 and starting to really think about racism and the media, it is especially uncomfortable for me to watch movies and tv shows with NO people of color. This world is mostly non white and it simply doesn’t make sense for our media to not represent it. And as for feminism, this is not the first time this has happened. When Girls came out, minority women were expected to ignore the show having an all white cast because it was written and directed by Lena Dunham. And anyone who dared to not ignore this issue was considered “non progressive”. This is why I don’t identity as feminist. Because this is unacceptable. It’s unacceptable for these huge steps for feminism to not include people of color. And if you’re white and telling people to get over it, you’re a part of the fucking problem.

Okay, I don’t want to take away from some really great points you’re making about how white feminism often downplay or outright dismiss the representation of women of color, especially in discussions of mainstream media WOC are often silenced or ignored.

However, I need to point a few errors that are a common form of microaggression that I see pop up all the time in intersectional discussions of representation, specifically in regard to the recognition of indigenous women of color.

There are THREE women of color in Mad Max Fury Road. Zoe Kravitz (which you already listed), but also Courtney Eaton and Megan Gale. Eaton and Gale are biracial Maori women. The presence of Polynesian women in this film and a fictional future are incredibly important on multiple levels. 

The Mad Max films are set in a post-apocalyptic Australia. In fact, the franchise began as Australian films, George Miller the writer/director/creator of this world is Australian. This is not merely a geographic location, but an important cultural context for the films. 

What’s important about the location and the presence of Polyneisan women within this future world is how their very roles reflect the history of colonialism in the Pacific region. Polynesian people were forced to relocate, our cultures and even identities erased. Many of us are biracial and our own ethic identity are often erased due to a form of cultural genocide that was not unlike what was done to Indigenous people of the Americas. 

Polynesian women have long been viewed as tokens of exotic beauty. Taken as trophies, and forced in to sex work. Not unlike Fragile. Some, like The Valkyrie who actively fought against colonial oppressors. While Zoe/Toast is biracial black and Ashkenzai jew, she two represents an aspect of WOC’s journey through white supremacy and colonialism which was the driving force behind the trans-atlantic slave trade. 

Polynesians often are erased, or mistakenly seen as white passing often because White Western culture only teaches how to see black or white, ignoring or wholesale erasing all the many colors in between. One of the really ugly truths behind why so many indigenous people are “white passing” is because of the long legacy of us being raped by white oppressors. Many of us only being valued as “pretty” sexual objects for the enjoyment and consumption of white men.

There is a BIG difference between being white passing and having your ethnicity erase from mainstream awareness. People, even POC, default code Polynesian women as white because they only SEE the parts of our features that are stereotypically viewed to be “white.” 

I immediately recognizing Fragile and The Valkyrie as women of color, and was deeply moved about how their presence and individual roles in this film reflects the struggles of many indigenous women throughout history and to see them empowered and fighting back against their oppressors made my heart soar.

Also there ARE other people of color in the film, though by virtue of the dominate culture in the film being literally white male supremacy, the only men of color we see are in the lowest cast of society. Not uncommon in colonialism either, given how white men see MOC as a threat to their power and masculinity.

My only real complaint about race in this film is the lack of Indigenous Australians in leading roles. There are a few of them crowd shots of the Citadel’s lower class, and at the end of the film we see a disabled Indigenous Australian man become the focus of a full two second shot, acting as the face of the oppressed class as he is quite literally is lifted up to salvation by women of color.

There are powerful visual moments in this film, that tell not just a story of punching down the patriarchy, but of the dismantling of colonial oppression where indigenous women play key roles in the fight and future of the world.

So please don’t steal this context from the these women. It is very important to many women of color. 

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU 

I’m a Maori woman and it means so much to me to hear someone say FINALLY point this out. I wanna say this to ALL of tumblr so LISTEN UP!

The line between POC and White is very blurred in my culture. There are no ‘full’ Maori left, so everyone is biracial. I wanna point out that this is a very old way of thinking, as nowadays if you’re Maori then that’s it. YOU. ARE. MAORI. 

No matter what you look like, you are Tangata Whenua (people of the land). But I’ll be using it to get my point across. 

There are people with all sorts of different skin colours in my culture now and It makes me SEETHE whenever I see comments like the op. How DARE you dismiss ANYONE FROM A CULTURE THAT ISN’T EVEN YOUR OWN, just because you have been taught to only see in black and white and you can’t accept the fact that they’re from said culture JUST because they don’t ‘look like it’. For us, having people with dark skin, light skin and everything inbetween is NORMAL and we don’t question it. 

So don’t you DARE say that those beautiful woman in that film ‘DON’T COUNT’ We aren’t just some three letter word that you can label us with at your convenience. ‘PoC’ is not some super secret club. You don’t get to decide who is Maori and who is not. So you take that racist BS and shove it because we’re not interested. Especially when it is coming from someone who knows nothing about our culture and the people in it. 

Also, I know your intentions were good but PLEASE don’t refer to us as ‘white-passing’ as it’s just another way to isolate people within their own culture. We are Maori. End of story.

(emphasis mine)

Co-sign from this NZ-raised Polynesian woman.

We’re all mixed here. All of us. It’s so normal that we don’t put a freaking percentage on it and we realise that heritage and ethnicity is more than the colour of your skin, your particular shade of brown or how ‘ethnic’ your features are. It’s what you are.

One of my favourite parts of this movie was to see my people on a movie screen. It’s so rare for those of us of polynesian heritage to see ourselves reflected back in cinema and to see posts and articles that erase our culture or dismiss our heritage because we aren’t dark enough for someone of another culture is not only racist and ignorant, it’s also incredibly hurtful.

#mad max   #racism   #fucking finally   #it’s taken ages to find a good post on this   #reblogging for commentary   (fel-as-in-tumbld)

This hasn’t gone around in a while, and the Fury Road fandom has spread out a bunch so I’m reblogging. This is important, intersectional representation is important.

[a not-unimportant tangent: whitewashing of the warboys is commented on frequently, yet below the white-power hierarchy there are a lot of POC warboys (are there enough? probably not); it’s just hard to find them since they are all painted white in homage to their oppressor/god. What this tells us about the in-universe racism is clear, and what this tells us about the movie’s meta-commentary on racism is clear.  It’s not that the movie is whitewashed so much as the in-universe racism causes the war boys to literally whitewash themselves. 

You add to that that Joe - despite the in-universe racism - has 2 WOC in his ‘wives’, evoking the horrid yet universal fetishization of WOC by their enslavers….That’s damning and self aware commentary on racism by the movie.  It is not perfect…but it’s also not omitted.]

Reblogging this because it’s been awhile and I have many new followers and while I admit that the POC representation could be better in the movie with more Aboriginal actors both male and female, it’s fairly hypocritical of posts arguing for representation when they are committing acts of erasure themselves.

Additionally the fact that these boys are metaphorically ‘raised white’ speaks to Australia’s historically bad and ongoing issue with white men raping indigenous women and stealing their children to be raised as white.

When “act of genocide” was used in the 1997 landmark report Bringing Them Home, which revealed that thousands of Indigenous children had been stolen from their communities by white institutions and systematically abused, a campaign of denial was launched by a far-right clique around the then prime minister John Howard. It included those who called themselves the Galatians Group, then Quadrant, then the Bennelong Society; the Murdoch press was their voice. (x)

Mad Max is a story made by an Australian director, honed by an Australian screenwriter, and I wished people would stop forgetting that.

31spadesdown:

Okay but can I just say

Bernie Sanders is being REALLY smart about his campaigning.

If you look at who’s funding his campaign, versus who’s funding Hillary Clinton’s, he gets most of the actual workers (labor unions, education unions, etc), while she’s mostly supported by big money (banks, huge companies, etc). Bernie doesn’t have the cash to out advertise or buy votes or really compete with her economically, he has to be backed by the average person if he wants to get somewhere. 

And the people that agree with him the most are millenials, and the millenials are the ones who don’t vote as much, so what does he do? He promotes and starts bills to cut the cost of college and university, and lower the interest of student loans. 

He’s raising the minimum wage, and funding education. He’s getting the interest and the favor of those who would have otherwise not voted. If he gets our votes, he gets a HUGE leg up in the election. 

He really does believe in the things he’s doing, and would probably have tried to do them anyways, but he’s definitely timing these things VERY thoughtfully.

owlpostagain7:

Both Ron and Hermione had decided to remain at Hogwarts, and though Ron said it was because he couldn’t stand two weeks with Percy, and Hermione insisted she needed to use the library, Harry wasn’t fooled; they were doing it to keep him company, and he was very grateful. 

---

Madam Pomfrey retreated, leaving Ron and Hermione to help Harry gulp down some water. 

---

Ron and Hermione left Harry’s bedside only at night.

---

“Hermione told me to come and check on you,” said Ron in a low voice, helping Harry to his feet. 

---

Ron and Hermione were supposed to be studying for their exams, which would finish on the day of the third task, but they were putting most of their efforts into helping Harry prepare.

---

“You can’t tell me you’ve stopped having funny dreams,” Hermione said now, “because Ron told me you were muttering in your sleep again last night.”

---

Harry could tell they had rehearsed this conversation while he had been asleep. He didn’t say anything.

---

He liked it best when he was with Ron and Hermione and they were talking about other things, or else letting him sit in silence while they played chess.

---

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks that plainly said There’s no point arguing with him.

headphonescinderella:

anightvaleintern:

stvolga:

why do all children know the floor is lava game do we all just learn it from older children and inadvertently share it with each other like some natural inevitable cycle why do children discover the floor and the concept of gravity and up and down and suddenly pretend to be afraid of it why do we play with the physical limitations of our world 

This has been explored.  Apparently there is a thing called Children Culture.  Some of the skipping songs and jump rope songs we learned as kids have no known origin as ever having been written or performed by adults.  Some games have no known origins as well.  Essentially, kids like to tell each other things and pass them around and sometimes if something particularly cool or interesting gets made, the entire school learns it.  And then those kids teach their siblings or cousins or friends from other schools and they teach their whole school until it becomes a whole mass knowledge thing by all kids and continues to be for years and years.

It’s conceivable that the lava game is another aspect of kid culture.

I know my kids don’t seem to know it and they were pretty separated from other kids growing up.

kidchars

cheshiretiffy:

pats-a-lats:

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

Holy shit.

academicfeminist:

neoliberalismkills:

thewiggywalker:

cultofeve:

neoliberalismkills:

neoliberalismkills:

so here’s a thought: who cares if food stamp recipients test positive for drugs. we still deserve food.

this has been the single most controversial post I’ve ever made and it’s literally just saying drug users deserve food lmao

And medical care. Drug users should not have to earn the right to medical care. Everyone deserves access to medication and treatment for pain and illness. This should not even be a question.

True, but they should also be put into rehab until they are a fit and functioning member of society again…addiction is a curable disease after all.

excuse you? you’re not in any way granted the right to take drug users to rehab if they haven’t chosen to go. fuck you. we’re not children that need to be lead by someone. we’re human beings who deserve our autonomy and you’re part of the problem.

“Functioning member of society”

What does that even mean????

On the one hand: yes, addiction is a disease and it would be great if really quality rehab programs were (gasp) free so that they were more accessible to the middle and lower classes, rather than being so expensive that it turns into the privilege of the wealthy.  It would save a lot of lives and spare a lot of pain if everyone had access to rehab with no stigma attached.  It’s not your right to force them to go, but it should be an option available to them.

On the other hand: literally what the fuck.  If your qualifier for ‘functioning member of society’ is ‘someone who works toward the greater good of the people around them,’ then not only do children not count, neither do, say, Wall Street bankers, or many CEO’s.  Or a fair number of cops at this point.  In fact, if we’re making decisions based on how useful people are, jobs that currently pay minimum wage, like making food, doing maintenance work, or keeping hospitals clean, should be some of the highest paying jobs in the nation, along with doctors and teachers.  And furthermore, someone’s annual income and/or medical conditions (like for example addiction) don’t dictate their level of humanity.  We’re not talking about handing out millions of dollars, okay, we’re talking about someone’s right as a goddamn human being to be fed and cared for by the people around them, regardless of their decisions.  Being able to eat is a right afforded to murderers and child molesters.  You tell me why being a drug addict should deny you that right.

rage-quitter:

rage-quitter:

so my grandmother just told me a joke…

“Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?”

“I dunno, ‘cause flowers are pretty cool?”

“In loving memory of all the faces that were buried there.”

i just like omg grandMA NO 

i told my grandma that this post got almost 6k notes and she was very pleased to know that the internet likes her jokes

NICE

assetandmission:

goddessofidiocy:

[quietly breaks table] natasha romanoff is not a romantic prop to use interchangeably 

This has got to be the fourth time I’ve reblogged this.  I think I’ll do it some more.

post-teenager:

gayleafcrime:

its not “you have to have sex with trans women or youre a transmisogynist” it’s “stop viewing people as genitals, what the hell”

This post has officially gotten me anon hate. Keep spreading it!

snarliekelly:

agentbering:

jessepumpkin:

i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer

#but until I reach that point I’m a fucking delight and you should appreciate that

This is what it means to be an introvert. Not being shy. This.

maggieconnelly:

pondarling:

matt-smith:

do you ever just passionately miss the first series of doctor who but not just because you miss Nine but because you miss the monsters and the simple story lines that were new and so interesting and the companions that didn’t need a magic back story to be special and weren’t just a new puzzle for the doctor to solve they were just ordinary people with ordinary lives and taught (especially the young viewers) that anyone can be a hero i just really miss season one okay

I also miss Nine a LOT.

reading-while-running:

every-flavored-bean:

Ok but imagine every other Hogwarts student finding out each year why the Defense against the dark arts teacher has left.

“Harry Potter kiLLED HIM WITH HIS BARE HANDS?”

“Harry Potter erASED HIS ENTIRE MEMORY?”

“Harry Potter let hiM TURN INTO A WEREWOLF?”

“Harry Potter disCOVERED HIM IN CHEST??”

“Harry Potter let heR GET CAPTURED BY CENTAURS?

Forget the curse, Harry is the real problem here.

theologicalmess:

spyderqueen:

misandrwitch:

Hands up if large groups of aggressively loud white boys in your vicinity freak you out

One of the things that bonds women, POC, and LGBTQA+ together: The fear of white men in numbers.

Where is the lie.

noelknd:

I always hate it when girls say “But I’m fat,” and then I automatically reply with “No you aren’t!” because that isn’t what I want to say.

What I want to say is a century ago you would have been a goddess.

What I want to say is you are a goddess now.

What I want to say is that society stole that word from you.

What I want to say is “So what? Fat does not mean ugly. Fat is not a bad word. You are fat. I am fat. And we are beautiful.”

What I want to say is fat and ugly are not synonymous.

What I want to say is my god, if you are fat, be fat, but fall in love with yourself all the same because you are so much more than weight and weight has never been everything.

But I always say “No you aren’t!” and they always know I’m lying.

GOD THANK YOU.  I have fought my way through the mire of pronouncing this concept for years, and for someone like myself whose whole world revolves around my ability to make words do what I want them to, that’s been incredibly frustrating.

My friends talk about how they’re fat and I want to scream for not having the words to say what I mean.

This is what I mean.

zinyea:

redheadlandmermaid:

I’m here for the girls who unwillingly consented to sex or sexual acts because they were in a situation where they didn’t feel as if they had the right to say no and now feel violated but don’t feel like they can say they were raped or molested.

this is probably one of the most important text posts i have ever seen because i feel like this is a HUGE issue among teenagers especially young girls in today’s social culture and nobody talks about it. nobody tells you that you were in fact abused and sometimes it takes you years to finally realize what happened to you was wrong, and it’s really scary and confusing! we need to teach each other that “rape” or “molestation” can happen in many circumstances and not just the ones we are taught!!!!

jourdehn:

10000bc:

sometimes i’ll see ppl in their early 20’s completely fucking covered in tattoos and im like damn what if one day youre 33 and u want a new tattoo but u cant get one cuz u done run out of skin

I thought this was going to be really negative but Im glad with its turnout

This is totally a thing I worry about though.  Like I want script fucking everywhere bro, but what if I find a really great quote or a fantastic poem is written twenty years from now and I don’t have space?

whiskey-and-ink:

I think people who don’t menstruate overall just don’t understand that we cannot stop the blood. If there’s nothing to collect it, it’s going everywhere. Most people can hold a shit, can hold a piss, and can hold back sex, until it’s convenient. When we bleed there is just no stopping it. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing to catch the blood, it will keep coming.

That’s why this free-tampon discussion is over your heads. You don’t get it. You can compare it to toilet paper or condoms all you want but most of us have control over those things. When we bleed, we keep bleeding until it’s done. There’s no clenching or muscle training that will keep us from bleeding everywhere.

So stop talking about what you don’t understand. If condoms can be free, so can tampons.

alyciainwonderland:

lady-patra:

shiraglassman:

purpleshimapan:

fireandwonder:

shiraglassman:

shiraglassman:

We just bought a cute sofa from an antique shop, while being very obviously a couple and looking like a butch/femme salt and pepper shaker set, and the shop owner wanted to know how long we’d been, and I quote, “hanging out.”

I’ll still laughing at this the next morning.

*gets down on one knee in front of gal pal* *takes out ring* Will you hang out with me?

There was one time I was out shoe shopping with my partner and I was debating buying these cute pastel green shoes. The saleswoman was like “well why don’t we ask your friend here?” I said “oh actually this is my partner.” The woman stared at us blank faced for a few awkward seconds before forcibly smiling and saying, “partner in crime?”

JAW….DROP…. 

In a store once with a girl I used to date, browsing through all these different mattresses. One of the sales ladies came over and talked about all the beds with us for quite some time while we told her what we were looking for. It was painfully obvious we were a couple, like literally holding hands and calling each cute pet names out loud. Finally the sales lady laughs nervously and says “sooo.. wow, what kind of roommate setup is that that forces you two to have to share a bed!?”
I just sort of stared at her for second at a complete loss and said “… the dating kind…”

Reblogging again for that last one

vivianvivisection:

biruskis:

If the Winter Soldier was responsible for the Kennedy assassination and Magneto tried to STOP the Kennedy assassination then that must mean somehow Magneto lost a fight to a guy wITH AN ENTirE ARm MADE OF METAL

Marvel writers sweat intensely

Canonically in the comic, Magneto has lost to the X-Men.  When they had neither Jean Grey nor Professor X (psychics) with them, and both Wolverine (metal skeleton and claws) and Colossus (metal everything) with them.  You don’t get more impaired than that against Magneto.  I’m sure HYDRA could have found a way.

starrr-prince:

onethingconstant:

agentnicdown:

• Steve, Bucky, and Thor chilling after a battle, sharing some of Thor’s special brew because they’re the only ones who can handle it.
  
• Thor setting the hammer on a table and grinning at Steve, Care for another try?
• Steve shrugging good-naturedly and taking hold of the handle. Sure, why not.
• Thor watching nervously while pretending not to be nervous.
• Steve budging the hammer.
• Thor LOLing.
• It would seem that you are still simply unworthy, Captain.
• Bucky snorting, tossing back the rest of his drink, and stepping up next to Steve. Are you kidding me? Move aside, Rogers.
• Bucky grabbing the handle with his metal arm and pulling and pulling and glaring and looking to Steve.
• Give me a hand.
• That’s not how it works, Buck.
• Just get over here, ya punk.
• Steve grabbing hold just above Bucky’s clenched fist.
• Thor LOLing in the background.
• Bucky and Steve getting ready, Steve beginning with On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3–
• And the hammer lifts off the table so easily that the two stumble back, shocked, hands still clasped one above the other.
• Silence.
• Bucky and Steve hold the hammer in the air and look at Thor in unison.
• Thor stares wide-eyed.
• Well, he begins after a few more moments, … if there are no pictures, it never happened.
• Bucky yelling for Nat or Sam to get their butts in the room to take a photo before Thor can call the hammer back to him and growling Don’t let go Steve for fuck’s sake DON’T LET GO–

ACCEPTED SO HARD.

NEITHER of them thinks that they are worthy, but they both believe that the other is so their faith in one another balances it out