one thing I find hilarious is when Shakespeare quotes are used out of context
like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night
and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son
“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up
it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”
“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”
all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted
It’s not necessarily bad but it is kind of funny, sometimes.
I see these VERY SERIOUS POSTS with the ‘greatness’ line and I’m just like…no. It’s a dick joke. Rule of thumb for William “This Seems Like A Good Moment For A Sex Joke” Shakespeare: if it has the word ‘thrust’ in it, it’s a sex joke.
Lily Evans who didn’t properly ask the Sorting Hat to put her in Slytherin, but when it told her Slytherin would be a risky place for someone like you, replied bravely defiantly that she wasn’t going to be intimidated by a piece of headwear, go ahead and put her in the damn house
The Sorting Hat calls out GRYFFINDOR! with the tear at its brim looking even more like a smirk than normal
Bullies Neville Longbottom during their first year
Hopes that any Muggle-Born, but especially Hermione, gets killed during their second year
Mocks Harry for being traumatized by his past during their third year
Is gleeful about a family (including children) being terrorized, a woman being sexually assaulted, and hoping Hermione gets the same during their fourth year
Joins Umbridge’s Inquisitorial Squad to help her find students to torture during their fifth year
Fans: why do people think he’s a bad guy just because he joined the Death Eaters?
Last time I got one of these I did 10 Interesting Facts About Tolkien. For this one, I thought it’d be fun to do random stories from the filming of the Peter Jackson LOTR movies. After watching all the DVD commentaries/documentaries a few more times than I care to admit, I’ve picked up a few fun stories. I linked as many youtube clips of the commentaries as I could find.
Alternative Title: 9 Times Someone Almost Died While Filming LOTR, and 1 Time Someone Was Smart Enough to Actually Prevent It
While shooting the battle at Helm’s Deep, Viggo Mortensen actually chipped a tooth. However, he refused to stop shooting and insisted that instead they simply glue the tooth back together until the scene was finished.
The location used to shoot the battle at the gates of Mordor during Return of the King was actually a land mine. Actors were warned to avoid digging into the ground or kicking anything to avoid hitting a bomb, and throughout the day they’d accidentally unearth rockets and landmines, which the army would then come and pick up.
In Two Towers, when Aragorn is floating down the river face-down, Viggo had to do the same thing (obviously.) However, he and the crew underestimated the strength of the current and eddies in the river, and combined with the heavy costume Viggo was wearing, he nearly drowned.
During Bilbo’s Birthday Party, when Merry and Pippin set off Gandalf’s giant firework, Peter Jackson didn’t warn Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd that the firework was actually going to explode. He told them only that it would spark and fizzle a bit. So when the firework did, in fact, explode, Billy’s shriek is quite genuine.
At the end of Fellowship, when Sam runs into the river after Frodo, Sean Astin accidentally stepped on a large shard of glass. His foot was bleeding pretty bad, so he had to be choppered to a hospital.
During the scene in Two Towers when Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli find the pile of orc carcases, and they believe that Merry and Pippin have been killed, Aragorn kicks one of the helmets down the hill. Peter Jackson wanted Viggo to aim the helmet as close to the camera as possible, and so Viggo did four takes with increasing accuracy. On the fifth take, the aim was great, and then Viggo let out this great scream and fell to his knees. Jackson was pretty impressed, and only found out later that, when kicking the helmet, Viggo had broken two of his toes. Despite that, it was the best take, and is actually the version that appears in the film.
During one of the scenes in Two Towers, Orlando Bloom and Gimli’s scale double Brett accidentally fell off their horse. Brett fell on top of Orlando, and Orlando cracked a rib. Luckily the injury wasn’t too serious, though the cast teased Orlando about all his complaining.
While filming the sequence in Two Towers of Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli chasing after the Uruk Hai (basically 10 minutes of all three of them running nonstop), Viggo had two broken toes, Orlando had a cracked rib, and Brett Beattie (Gimli’s scale double) had a dislocated knee, but they did the shots anyway. Such troopers.
While shooting the scene where the hobbits run down to the Buckleberry Ferry in Fellowship, Dominic Monaghan got a splinter in his foot. Yep, it really is that underwhelming. But they make it sound really funny.
During Two Towers, when Faramir has caught Frodo and Sam and Gollum, there’s a scene when Faramir uses his sword to lift the One Ring from under Frodo’s shirt. David Wenham, who plays Faramir, was worried that he might accidentally stab Elijah Wood, so he insisted that a trained swordsman come and do that scene. Thus making him probably the smartest guy on set.
“And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death.“
Harry laughed, but he was one of the few who did.
Can you imagine how this would have looked to other students?
Dumbledore tells the students that visiting the third floor corridor will lead to a most painful death, and what does the famous and mysterious boy-who-lived do? He laughs.
it pisses me off when i get customers at my job who tell me “at least it’s FRIDAY” like..no?? it is at best my Wednesday like are you from a magical world where everybody gets a weekend? fuck you
I’m laughing bc in food and retail fridays are the beginning of the three hell days
Literally
My personal solution to this: when I’m talking to someone in retail or a waitress/waiter or something to that effect, I go with “So how far are you from your Friday?” And then they can either be like “Oh my God, DAYS,” or “Actually today’s my Friday, it’s awesome” and I don’t come off like an ass. Y’all work hard. I KNOW you work hard (yeeeeeah, I’m not exactly from a rich family myself, if you catch my drift). So damn straight I’m going to take the extra moment to acknowledge that you might be facing a hellish schedule.
Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?
not gonna lie that still looks intimately real
I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.
Fucking witchcraft, man.
fucking look at this shit though
Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:
THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.
amazing
And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.
They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.
The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.
One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?
Motherfucker randomly started moving.
So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.
I NEVER KNEW THE RAPTORS WERE DUDES IN SUITS I KNEW THE REST BUT NOT THAT
^ I second that…..I knew about the T-rex and Tri…but Raptors! fuhhhhh!!! love that movie
Spielberg knows the language of cinema. Even if the Trex was functioning fully at all times we would have gotten it in doses because that’s the way to make something even more terrifying. Spielberg makes big budget action films but I challenge you to find another director who has been so consistent and meticulous over such a wide range of genres and budgets. PTA, deal Toro,and Tarantino are all of the same caliber as Spielberg but none of them have the range he does.
gotta agree. i really came around to spielberg, because initially i was pretty snobby and was like “buh he’s the mcdonald’s of film directors,” but after rewatching poltergeist, i realized that even if he was shaky on horror, he tapped a guy like tobe hooper (you know, the guy who did Texas Chainsaw) to bring the horror expertise, and he slapped his big, splashy stamp on it, and it works. beautifully.
it’s like stephen king – you don’t have that kind of career for four decades without knowing your shit.
remus would have been so good at finding loopholes for the marauders to slip through like i mean as a prefect he would have had to know all of them to an extent and i can just see sirius hopping onto his bed like “hey moony can we do this thing without technically breaking any rules” and remus would be like well no but you could do this and then guess who doesnt have detention despite the fact that all anyone at the slytherin table has had for dinner the past four days is haggis
Romeo Blue, America’s second Jaeger, was first launched on December 15, 2015, to combat a Kaiju named Hardship. Romeo Blue overpowered the Kaiju using a piece of a beltway bridge as a melee weapon, earning its first of many kills. Romeo Blue would later fail to locate the Kaiju Knifehead at the ten-mile mark in Anchorage, leading to Gipsy Danger’s deployment the night Yancy Beckett was killed in action. Romeo Blue eventually met its end in Seattle, when a Kaiju smashed its Conn-Pod, killing both pilots. The Jaeger was then sent to Oblivion Bay.
Romeo Blue, America’s second Jaeger, was first launched on December 15, 2015, to combat a Kaiju named Hardship. Romeo Blue overpowered the Kaiju using a piece of a beltway bridge as a melee weapon, earning its first of many kills. Romeo Blue would later fail to locate the Kaiju Knifehead at the ten-mile mark in Anchorage, leading to Gipsy Danger’s deployment the night Yancy Beckett was killed in action. Romeo Blue eventually met its end in Seattle, when a Kaiju smashed its Conn-Pod, killing both pilots. The Jaeger was then sent to Oblivion Bay.
Women cook for men for the same reason cats bring their owners dead animals. You think it’s because they love and respect you, but really they just think you’re too incompetent to feed yourself.
i really hope men who see this post don’t think its just a joke. every woman i have ever known to cook regularly for her male significant other has done it bc she literally does not think he is capable.
First and foremost, we’re in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, not some oppressive 3rd world country. Women here have rights, we can say what we want, dress how we want, and do pretty much whatever we want (within the confines of the law).
Moving on, if you’re going to bitch about how we can’t go around topless, then I will have to agree with you there. Like if a guy can show his nips why can’t women? Well the reason is simple, Western culture sexualizes the breast. There are studies and extra bs that may get thrown onto this post but honestly, idgaf. The point of this post is this… BIG FUCKING DEAL. So what? You can’t go around with your tits out, boofuckinghoo. You don’t have to cover your body from head to toe so stfu and deal with it.
Not all women live in fear, I repeat, not all women live in fear! I am so tired of seeing these posts about how women live in fear and we travel in packs to the bathroom (coughyouknowwhoyouarecough) for safety and all this bs.
Stop. Just. Stop.
I walk the streets at night and am fine, I have never had an issue that I couldn’t handle. If I get a gut feeling that something might happen, NEWS FLASH my gut doesn’t give two shits about your gender; if I get a gut feeling about danger it means that there may be a person I need to be cautious of, male or female. Cause let’s be honest, women are bad people too and do horrible crimes just like men do.
So, could you so-called feminists please STFU about how women do this and women do that cause honestly you don’t speak for all of us. And I highly doubt you feel the same as you claim on the internet.
“
The delegates were appalled by the lack of gender equality in America. They found the U.S. to be lagging far behind international human rights standards in a number of areas, including its 23 percent gender pay gap, maternity leave, affordable child care and the treatment of female migrants in detention centers.
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The women discovered during their visit that women in the United States have “missing rights” compared to the rest of the world. For instance, the U.S. is one of three countries in the world that does not guarantee women paid maternity leave, according to the U.N. International Labour Organization. The U.N. suggests that countries guarantee at least 14 weeks of paid parental leave. Some countries go further – Iceland requires five months paid leave for each parent, and an additional two months to be shared between them. “
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Another main area of concern for the delegation is violence against women – particularly gun violence. Women are 11 times more likely to be killed by a gun in the United States than in other high-income countries, and most of those murders are perpetrated by an intimate partner. While the Obama administration has talked a lot about combating violence against women, its efforts have been frustrated by Congress’ inability to pass new federal gun restrictions.
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The women’s other recommendations for the U.S. include passing campaign finance reform that would allow more women to be elected into office, because the networks that raise money for political candidates are mostly dominated by men. They also suggested raising the minimum wage, which disproportionately affects women, and passing a federal law to stop the slew of new abortion restrictions in the states that are shutting down women’s health clinics across the South. “
While the delegates were shocked by many things they saw in the U.S., perhaps the biggest surprise of their trip, they said, was learning that women in the country don’t seem to know what they’re missing.
“So many people really believe that U.S. women are way better off with respect to rights than any woman in the world,” Raday said. “They would say, ‘Prove it! What do you mean other people have paid maternity leave?’”
Okay but consider this- Elizabeth Swann. She’s a pirate nerd from the beginning. She’s fascinated. And by the time the Black Pearl blasts Port Royal she knows enough to defend herself- first with the iron, then with the Code. That nerd studied pirate law enough to quote it.
And not just pirates. Presumably she’s been on a ship once- when she comes over from England. But nope no piracy wasn’t enough for this kid no she did some intense studying of sailing too because why not. So when they’re being chased down who’s coming up with all these nautical maneuvers? Elizabeth fucking Swann, sea nerd extraordinaire.
Fast forward and she’s not just a nerd anymore. And she isn’t a pirate, either. She’s the Pirate King, doing battle with Davy Jones and the entire British navy, with every Pirate Lord and their crews behind her. No more improvised weapons, no more parlay- she commands every black heart that ever set sail. And then her bae becomes ferryman for every soul lost at sea.
So then what? Everyone just goes back to what they were doing? And Elizabeth just goes home to make a quiet life for herself as a single mum? From studious sea nerd to Pirate King and now suddenly she’s happier at home, waiting for Will?
Give me an epilogue where Elizabeth has her father’s estate and enough gold to keep her comfortable for a lifetime, but instead travels the world, her son at her side. Adventuring and exploring, in and out of the law. Tell me she calls up Calypso for tea from time to time and they talk about uncharted lands and the price of sugar. Tell me in some ports she’s recognized as the daughter of Governor Swann and wined and dined. Tell me in some ports she’s recognized as the Pirate King and gets barrels rum on the house.
Tell me even honest sailors whisper stories of the mysterious and elusive Pirate King, who rarely strikes at all but then vanishes for years at a time.
Tell me Elizabeth spends time aboard the Flying Dutchman, so she can be with her husband, and her son can be with his father and grandfather. Imagine young William learns to sail on his father’s journeys to and from the land of the dead. And when he finally captains his own ship, he’s learned to be both a respectable gentleman and a good pirate.
Imagine Elizabeth spending her life on the sea, sometimes with Will and sometimes not, with a wind from Calypso always in her sails, adventuring enough for lifetimes as a part-time well bred lady, part-time Pirate King.
yes this
Does the epilogue ever imply that this doesn’t happen, though…?
All we know is she’s on a cliff with a kid. They never say she goes home and becomes a housewife.
I love sincerely arguing over citation formats. On that note APA format is absolutely the best and easiest.
enjoy making a cover page for your fucking 2-page paper while i’m over here with the superior MLA format (Magnificent, Logical, Astonishing format) eating up multiple lines on the front page to bump up my page count. MLA is not only the most efficient, it is the most environmentally responsible option. the earth is dying and my grandchildren will know that it wasn’t my fault
Y'all can go eat a shoe.
Chicago is where it’s at.
Chicago ruined citations more than they ruined pizza
i’m sorry you can’t handle the depth of our pizza or the superior style of our footnotes. who needs a four line heading to bump up your page count when you can take up the entire page with a speculative footnote that boils down to i actually don’t really know what the answer is to this, somebody should work on that but i wrote this at three am so it ain’t gonna be me.
like your pizza, your APA is cheap, easy and slides by tests of academic rigor like the greasy cardboard crap that it is.
chicago pizza and style adapt to whatever your toppings and academic needs are, while after putting cheese and sausage, or sources with any depth from further back than the first three results on a google search, on your MLA and APA shit folds like burnt fucking wax paper.
chicago style. real research. real academia. REAL PIZZA.
I like how Bethesda manages to be more progressive than most of the games industry by doing as little work as possible.
Unnamed npcs like bandits are randomly assembled from the available body features, which inadvertently leads to more balanced gender and race representation, because every physical attribute has an equal chance to be chosen. In Skyrim, marriageable npcs are marriageable no matter what the player is, because having a single “marriageable” box to tick when coding npcs is easier than having to check for multiple variables like race and gender in the player.
No one in any bethesda game will treat you any differently or even speak differently other than “he” or “she”, and even then a lot of dialogue uses “they” or your characters titles rather than your pronouns to save dialogue lines.
It is literally less work to just represent everybody equally. The next time a game dev tries to say they don’t have the resources to include more diverse representation, you push that shit back at them because that shit is bullshit.
“St. Louis, Mo., Dec 14.– Ruling that male attire was not unbecoming to Mrs. Mary Bertha Schmidt, alias ‘Mister Schmidt,’ judge Hogan, in police court here, refused to fine the young woman who for two years posed as a man and who ‘married’ her cousin, Anna Assade, last October.
‘I think you look very nice,’ said the court. Mrs. Schmidt was clad in her neatly pressed trousers and pinchback coat. She explained she had adopted the garments because she could earn $80 a month as a man and $6 a week as a woman.
‘If a woman can earn $4 a day by reason of wearing trousers, I say wear ‘em,’ said the court, and ‘Mister Schmidt’ walked out of court with a smile on ‘his’ face.”
my favorite side effect warning is for antidepressants
pros: you won’t want to kill yourself
cons: you might want to kill yourself
Back when I was in a psychiatric hospital, and was offered antidepressants, my mother had declined them due to that apparent side effect. So the staff actually explained about this effect antidepressants have, that give reason to that warning. When first taking antidepressants they raise up your energy first. So that you have the energy to do the tasks you might have avoided doing due to your depression. Because of this those who were already suicidal, now have the energy to go do so. Which is the ones this warning is given for. It’s not that a side effect of antidepressants magically makes you want to kill yourself, it’s the energy it gives those who were already struggling with suicidal issues, to actually attempt the act.
Very informative…
Wow. I’m so glad you explained that. Now I understand
My high school choir/psych teacher actually told is about this. She also said if you have a suicidal friend who starts seeming like they might be getting better because they have more energy, that’s the time to be cautious because that’s when they may still be suicidal but they’ll actually have the energy to go through with it
THIS. a thousand times THIS. I had it explained to me in my AP psychology class in high school. super fucking important.
College psych classes say the same thing. Suicidal people are at the most risk as they begin to come out of their depression because of rises in energy/motivation. And if they have bipolar depression and get mixed state episodes (not terribly common, but it’s getting both depressed and manic at the same time,) that’s also a really risky time, for similar reasons.
In ancient Rome, pants were considered effeminate. Only dirty barbarians wore pants. A good Roman male was expected to keep a breeze on his privates at all times. Also, women couldn’t wear togas. If you saw a woman wearing a toga, it meant she was a prostitute.
History side of tumblr: verify please?
*Bursts through the door*
You rang?
I should probably clarify I mean trousers, not underpants, for all you folks of the British persuasion out there. Romans didn’t have undies as we do, but they did have loincloths. Generally they just let it all hang out, though. Wearing leg wraps or thick loincloths was a sign of old age or weakness. Think of high school boys today who wear shorts in winter to prove their toughness; it was the same for Romans.
Trousers were despised in ancient Rome because they were worn by barbarian Germanic tribespeople. In iconography that depicts Germans, they are shown with wild hair, long beards and pants to distinguish them from the good, civilised, neatly-shaven toga-wearing Romans.
Just look at those filthy barbarians. In trousers! So unlike us masculine Roman men.
#judgingyou
Wearing pants in Rome was a big no-no. A good Roman citizen simply wouldn’t wear pants, and they were banned from the Senate, Forum and Circus, so any Gallo-Germanic representative from the provinces had to change into Roman dress before he would be admitted.
Slaves and non-citizens still wore them, but freeborn Romans attached enormous prejudice to trousers. Inevitably, however, they became popular among lower classes until, in the lead up to the sack of Rome by the Goths, strong anti-Germanic sentiment against barbarian invaders led to Emperor Honorius banning pants in Rome. That’s right, trousers were banned. (Codex Theodosianus 14.10.2-3, tr. C. Pharr, “The Theodosian Code,” p. 415)
This site here should give you a quick run down on the basics of Roman dress. Togas were for men, and women wore long flowy dresses called stola that covered everything down to their feet. There’s a hilarious poem by Ovid where he talks about getting off on seeing a girl’s ankles; that’s how modestly they dressed (Amores, Book 3, Elegy II). The stola also came with a headscarf attached. Women were expected to cover their hair when they went out, which means dress standards for women were not unlike the dress codes of some Muslim countries today. Wearing the stola with the headscarf up says “back off boys. I’m a respectable Roman lady. Go find someone else to annoy.”
can’t touch dis
Prostitutes, of course, need to send out the opposite message, and the simplest way to do that was by cross-dressing. If a Roman man walked down the street and saw a group of girls wearing men’s clothing and scandalously showing off their legs, he’d know instantly they were lupae, she-wolves; what we might call ‘ladies of the night’. In law, prostitutes actually came to be denied the privilege of the stola so that at all times they would be marked as meretrices. Prostitutes were also known to cut their hair short and dye them fantastic colours to further advertise their availability. This site should give you further information; it’s got some great quotes from source texts too.
Four years earlier, in 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot and killed.
Five years before that, in 1963, Medgar Evers was shot and killed.
Eight years before that, in 1955, a young Black man named Emmett Till was tortured, then shot and killed.
These events, and numerous others with frightening similarity, happened in a line, and in the early years of the first decade to reap the social benefits of the Civil Rights Movement, Marvel Comics gives the fans (and the world) a Black male superhero whose primary superhuman aspect… is that he’s bulletproof.
Not flight, or super speed, or a power ring.
The superhuman ability of being impervious to bullets.
Superheroes. Action heroes. Fantasy heroes.
Power fantasies.
Is there any doubt the power fantasy of the Black man in the years following multiple assassinations of his leaders and children by way of the gun would be superhuman resistance to bullets?
In American society, the Black man has come a long way from the terrors of the past handful of centuries, only to crash right into the terrors of the 21st century. Some of those terrors being the same exact ones their grandparents had to face and survive — or not.
There are Black men who are wealthy, powerful, formidable and/or dangerous. They can affect change undreamt of by their parents, and their parents’ parents. Their children will be able to change the world in ways we can intuit and others we can barely begin to try and predict.
But a bullet can rip through their flesh and their future with no effort whatsoever.
And so we look at Luke Cage, a man who gets shot on a regular basis, whose body language is such that he is expecting to be shot at, prepared for the impact — because he knows he can take it.
And maybe, in the subconscious of the uni-mind of Marvel Comics, is the understanding that Luke Cage may unfortunately always be a relevant fantasy idea for the Black man.
2012 – Trayvon Martin is shot and killed.
2013 – Jonathan Ferrell is shot and killed.
2014 – Michael Brown is shot and killed.
2015/2016 – Luke Cage premieres on Netflix.
I look forward to seeing if the Luke Cage of that show will have a true understanding of his power and what he symbolizes.
Final papers are busy killing me right now and I am all of the anxiety, so please talk to me about what a Leverage Hogwarts AU would be like.
OH MAN OKAY.
So I know we all have thoughts and feelings and whatnot about the characters as they appear in the show, but lets focus on their 11 year old versions because I think they’d be slightly different.
THE CREW:
Parker is a half-blood orphan, and a Slytherin through and through. Her ambition is to be the greatest curse breaker to ever walk the earth. Why would she steal from Muggles when magic is such a great challenge? She’ll learn bravery and loyalty and a love of learning and knowledge for its own sake later on down the line. Right now though it flat out doesn’t occur to her to be afraid, she’s never had people of her very own so loyalty is a nebulous concept, and learning is awesome when it gets her where she wants to go. The hat barely touches Parker’s head before barking out her House. McGonagall, who spent three weeks trying to track the young scamp down in order to deliver her letter, breathes a sigh of relief and shoots Snape a look of sheer gloating triumph.
Eliot is a pureblood, and a Gryffindor, but that tends to surprise the people who get to know him well as an adult. He values bravery and the defense of the innocent and his head is full of stories of heroes and valor and he has so much faith. He is bright the way that the young idealists always are before the world gets its grubby paws on them. The shiny wears off in Auror training, when he gets to see how the wizarding world really works. After that, bravery doesn’t hold the same value for him anymore, and nor do ideals. He makes his world a little smaller, a little easier, and focuses on people instead. Once he finds them, he makes himself both sword and shield. Gryffindor is the house of his youth, but Hufflepuff is his “final form” so to speak.
Hardison is a Muggle-born who spends the intervening weeks between getting his books and getting on that dang train absolutely devouring every word. He wants to know it all, he wants to see everything, he is absolutely enamored with his new world from the word ‘go.’ It’s absolutely no surprise to him when the hat pronounces him a RAVENCLAW! “Age of the geek, baby,” he says to himself as he struts to his seat at his new table.
Nathan is an absolute hatstall as an 11 year old, a halfblood who never thought he’d get to go to Hogwarts - never dared to dream he’d follow in his witch mother’s footsteps. He’s brave, inquisitive, hard-working, and he’s not entirely sure what he wants to do but he’s going to be the very best. He discusses his options with the hat for several minutes (who better to learn about the houses from than a hat that sat on all the Founders’ heads?), alternating between advocating for a house he might fit in and playing devil’s advocate to the hats suggestions. Eventually, amused when it realizes what the child is playing at, the hat settles on Ravenclaw: a solid foundation of knowledge will be necessary for Nathan on his path, whatever he decides it will be.
Sophie has many names and many faces. She leaves behind the girl she was and guards that information more dearly than her own life. On any given day, she might say she was a student at Beauxbaton, Durmstrang, Salem, Hogwarts, or any of the hundreds of magical institutions that dot the planet. Her favorite color is yellow, and that might be indicative, or it might not. The truth is a matter of perspective.
Recurring Characters:
Tara Cole - Hufflepuff
Maggie Collins - Ravenclaw
Archie Leach - Gryffindor
James Sterling - Slytherin
Colin “Chaos” Mason - Ravenclaw
The setting:
Former Unspeakable Nate Ford and his band of cohorts act as modern-day Robin Hoods, pulling elaborate scams targeted against the greedy and the corrupt of magical society. Nate was inspired to begin his con business when the Ministry refused to allow research into the magic that could have saved his son’s life.
Hitter - Eliot Spencer was an elite Hit Wizard until a mission went seriously wrong, now he’s a wand for hire with a reputation for getting the job done by any means necessary.
Hacker - There’s not a language Hardison doesn’t speak, a runic script he can’t decipher. He combines his expertise with wards, rituals, arithmancy, and Muggle tech to break the systems in ways nobody sees coming.
Thief - there’s not a curse Parker can’t break, no system she can’t slip through. By hook, crook, or transfiguration, she’ll get in and out with the goods.
Grifter - Sophie can become anyone she needs to be, and that’s before she taps into her metamorphmagus abilities.
Mastermind - Nate knows how to bring them all together. The consummate jack of all trades, and a master of knowing exactly how to put the right people in the right position to get the job done.
“I thought I was just going to do Hamilton for fun; I didn’t realize that I was stepping into a historic piece of theater. I mean, President Obama came to the fifth preview of the show– we hadn’t even opened yet! We had heard three days before that he was going to be in the audience, and everyone received an email saying, “Please show up to Hamilton as though it was airport security.” We were on lockdown until the president got there. When he came backstage, he said, “A lot of people make really great things and they never get recognized. You guys should really enjoy that you’ve made something great and it’s being embraced from the very beginning.” He shook everyone’s hand. We were in awed silence. The only two times that someone of note has come backstage and it’s been that silent was for Obama… and Beyoncé, who came with Jay Z. Everyone rushed to meet her, so I was like, “Okay, I probably won’t get to shake her hand, but as long as I can, like, breathe the same air, it’s fine.” And then she looked at me and said, “Were you the king? You were f–––ing incredible!” She told me she was going to steal my walk, and did an impersonation of the walk I do when I enter the stage. And then she looked me up and down and said, “I saw everything.” That’s when the ground opened up and I fell into my grave and died. A tombstone went up and it said, “Cause of Death: Beyoncé.””—Jonathan Groff for EW’s Best & Worst issue of 2015: This was the year that… “I played the king in front of the president– and Queen B” (via jgroffdaily)
My family ranted to me last night about how they think Donald Trump is the only responsible person trying to run for president and they think “everyone supports him”.
I want to prove them wrong.
This really means nothing if no one votes tho, So please, VOTE if you can.
I try to avoid political posts as a rule, but this man is a truly abhorrent human being.
i work as a barista & people tell me all the time that The Drinks Got Gender. Thats A Lady Coffee, people try to say
its fucking bean water
can’t believe i can’t just reply to this but: maybe they’re actually telling you that this coffee has an important status. Lady Coffee
oh shit i was in the presence of bean water royalty oh fuck i must have looked like such a rube. such a fool.
what the fuck does this post mean ive been trying to decipher its hieroglyphic encrypted message but i cant
“From a deconstructionist stand point, I have to disagree with a large portion of the customers that I, a humble barista tend to each day. The assertion that certain coffee drinks are more suitable for one gender or another is folly. For as we know: 1. gender is a social construct, & 2. coffee of any type is simply hot water strained through roasted beans, & has no greater affect on either culturally assigned sex.”
“What ho, kind friend! Is it not unfortunate that I cannot simply reply to this post, & most reblog it? What a farce, this blue website! Ah, but I digress: what if perhaps your customers were not asserting not the suitability of the drink for a given gender, but rather indicating some matter of status? Perhaps the coffee is possessing of a high rank in society. This is of course my purely grammatical viewpoint on the subject.”
“Oh, damnation! This does in fact seem much more likely than my own ludicrous assumptions, & I was no doubt in the presence of roasted bean royalty! Some emissary from foreign soil! Curses! What a country bumpkin I’ve made myself out to be!!”
“Six people find out why making deals with gods is a bad fucking idea”
“Child attempts to save various gods and humanity from ancient evil; ancient evil is only somewhat impressed”
“Bond girl becomes too gay to function.”
A schizophrenic prophet and her LGBT friends sacrifice Straight Larry to zombies
a gay bunny flies around after the only city in the world blows up
You have my attention
Angry smol elf teams up with grumpy tall elf to fight aforementioned grumpy tall elf and bring him to justice for crimes against humanity.
Ohh, so many!
“A mage and a cat-boy walk a lost star home.”
“Man with amnesia looks to regain memories with the help of a sarcastic scarf.”
“A group of disappointments try to become less so.”
“Two plants try to save the world.”
“Why am I doing this, I don’t even want to be a princess, I hate you all!”
“A group of gay adults with powers decide to destroy oppressive government.”
“A halfling teenager, her werewolf girlfriend, and their pack protects their town.”
“The fates reborn decide it’s time to fuck up Olympus.”
“Everyone is unreliable,” or “A diverse group of young adults and their parents have their lives fucked up by a serial killer and each other.”
“Dealing with grief by fucking your teacher is so not a good idea”
In which a collection of assorted and diverse magical beings come to terms with the fact that politics will fuck you up; also everyone is LGBT because curiosity>medieval hangups after a few hundred years.
Or if that’s not your taste: In which angels are a thing that happened around 1947 and just kind of never left; also everyone is LGBT because fuck you I do what I want.
OR: In which cities are sentient and like to fuck with their citizens; also everyone is LGBT because LITERALLY WHY NOT.
do you think after Ron and Hermione got out of the trapdoor and raised the alarm and were being patched up in the hospital wing
do you think they were given the most royal proud mama smackdown by McGonagall like “ how DARE you infiltrate a death maze you are ELEVEN and miss granger how on earth did you solve my chessboard i”
and hermione interjected like “oh professor it wasn’t me. i’m useless at chess. it was ron.”
and McGonagall turned to look at Ron Weasley in total amazement at this 11 yr old kid who had been pretty ordinary in all her classes but had apparently beaten her in death chess and he just shrugged like “rookie mistakes, professor. you made some rookie mistakes.”
Just look at those filthy barbarians. In trousers! So unlike us masculine Roman men.
#judgingyou
can’t touch dis
