For those of you who don’t already know, there is a petition going around to actually stock binders in stores (like Walmart/Kmart/Target etc.)!!!
ALSO, people who don’t bind. Please, can I have your attention?
Here is your chance to exercise your allyship. Sign this petition. It can be very, very difficult for people who bind to get access to effective binders. They often resort to harmful things (like tape) that can break their ribs or suffocate them.
Please, sign the petition. You will be saving someone from immeasurable pain.
ONLY 560 TO GO
I don’t know what the 560 above refers to but right now the petition is still looking for 63,000 signatures. Don’t assume they’ve almost hit quota and thus don’t need your help :)
This addition is important because assuming that was exactly what I did do
Howling Commando Era pranks please because the Army takes that sort of shit seriously and since Steve is so very eager to fit in with the rest of the guys obviously the best thing to do is to include him in the neverending circle of pranks that get pulled both on themselves and others (mostly others)
For your consideration:
Gabe and Morita shaving off one of Dugan’s eyebrows while he sleeps. The next morning Bucky making him shave off the other so he’s still in uniform
Apple pie-ing Steve’s bed. It’s hilarious watching most half asleep/drunk guys try and get into a short turned down bed, but they forget that Steve is a tiny bit stronger than most guys and he just puts his legs right through the sheets. Everyone gets laundry duty the next day, but nobody tells Steve why.
That time the river froze over and Dernier thought it would be fun to drive a General’s car onto the ice and tie it underneath a bridge. It might still be hanging there come spring, which is credit to his knot skills.
Also the time they dismantle a famous bridge to see how it is made and then somehow ended up with a few spare parts after putting it back together again. They then blame the Paras
Dugan might have also stolen a plane from the RAF and proceed to send postcards from every city they visit in it
Steve once got them all very drunk and recruited some of his USO friends to stage a well-needed makeover, thus starting the rumor of that one time the Howlies turned up to parade in stockings and red lipstick.
The sucessful mission off the coast of France in which they were in a submarine and fooled a German U-boat into thinking they were a fishing freighter full of drunks by singing loud showtunes over the radio
An assortment of increasingly disgusting and tasteless ‘drinking’ games involving various bodily fluids that ultimately ends with Bucky and Peggy threatening to shoot every last one of them because Steve is a punk who never backs down and no they aren’t playing freckles they are all vile and unhygienic.
An Admiral betting Steve a whole month’s rations of rum that he can’t pick up a tank. Steve can absolutely pick up a tank, and he proves it by putting it on top of his jeep.
There is also that time when the allies drop fake wooden bombs on fake German airbases, which is how Falsworth reveals he’s actually a damn fine whittler and they start leaving carved wooden dicks behind in the bases that they raid.
Steve doesn’t know how they do it, but every single time they arrive in a new base or hideout or fucking foxhole in the ass end of europe, someone always finds the time to cover the shithouse with pages from Captain America comics
Bucky Bear. No matter how many times Bucky tries to throw it away, set it on fire or use it as a weapon to smother a HYDRA operative, somehow the fluffy little fucker always makes its way back into his gear
It is also worth noting that no matter who they prank, one rule stays firm; no one fucks with Peggy. It’s not that they think she can’t take it because she is a woman, it’s because she went to an all girls boarding school and they play fucking hardcore pranks
No offense but if Star Wars Episode VIII was nothing more than 3 hours of Poe flying around to different planets and showing Rey and Finn all the wonders of the universe, all the food and drink and fun they missed out on, with BB-8 and Chewie makig noises in the background, and an occasional cut to a shot of Captain Phasma with her helmet off lifting weights, I would be perfectly happy
As with any organization, the Resistance found it necessary to produce training holovids on a variety of topics, from basic demonstrations of the use of important equipment to more nuanced vids on cultural or personnel issues. They were a small force, but tended to be somewhat geographically scattered by necessity, and it saved a lot of time to have a small collection of introductory holovids to show new recruits to get them quickly up to speed.
The most entertaining holovid, however, was widely held to be this one.
DEALING WITH YOUR INEVITABLE CRUSH ON POE DAMERON
The title music swells, epic and orchestral, over a black screen. Fade in: a photo, taken outdoors, head and shoulders, of Poe Dameron, squinting slightly into the sun, jaw set in determination. His hair is tousled and he is in a flight suit and leather jacket, ruggedly attractive.
Another flourish of music, and the title pops bright white text over a black screen:
DEALING WITH YOUR INEVITABLE CRUSH ON POE DAMERON
Fade to footage of Poe Dameron, in a sleeveless tight undershirt smudged with grease and worn-thin trousers that fit very flatteringly behind, bending over to demonstrate how to use a new system of tie-downs to secure equipment such as small spacecraft in inclement weather. His hair is a little too long and falls across his forehead; he habitually shakes his head a little to keep it away from his eyes, in a charming gesture, and he frequently looks to the camera for guidance, which gives him an appealing, almost supplicant aspect, especially since he frequently smiles at the cameraman.
Voiceover (male, smooth, cultured, the same one who narrates most of the rest of the instructional holovids the Resistance produces): “It’s not a question of if, but when. It’s a natural part of joining the Resistance. Everyone says, oh, it won’t happen to me, I’m immune to that sort of thing. But everyone in the Resistance eventually ends up with a crush on Poe Dameron.”
Cut to head-and-shoulders shot of a middle-aged mechanic, female, in work attire, clearly in a spacecraft hangar, holding a wrench in one hand. There’s a label at the bottom of the screen: Yana, Mechanic. Below that it says, He Remembers Her Name. “You may think you’re immune to his looks,” she says, “but then he remembers your name after only having met you once, and claps you on the shoulder, and calls you ‘buddy’ and smiles at you.” She sighed. “And it only gets worse from there.”
Quick cut to a shot, zoomed in from a distance, of Poe Dameron standing on the ladder to the cockpit of his X-Wing. It is a video; he is watching someone offscreen do something, the wind gently ruffling his tousled hair and his helmet under one arm. His mouth is slightly open; after a moment he licks his lower lip, then grins, like he’s about to speak.
Meanwhile, voiceover:
“Don’t be alarmed. These are natural feelings. Take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. And you can console yourself in the knowledge that he has this effect on everyone.”
Cut to head and shoulders shot of a young pilot, female, dark-haired; she is attractively dressed and made-up, but wearing her flight suit. The label at the bottom of the screen says Jessika Pava, Pilot, and is subtitled, He Has Saved Her Life About 100 Times. “It’s not his fault,” she says. “That’s the thing you have to keep in mind. He’s really like that. He’s really actually nice to people. He’s completely sincere.”
A still shot fills the screen: Poe Dameron, very young, aged perhaps sixteen or seventeen. He is standing on a table, possibly dancing, shirtless, wearing New Republic Academy uniform trousers and suspenders. The suspenders are slipping down his shoulders, and he has his head tipped back and is provocatively mock-fellating a bottle clearly labeled “Corellian Death Rum” while staring seductively into the camera. He is clearly intoxicated.
Meanwhile, voiceover:
“Methods of coping with this affliction vary by individual. Some people pretend they don’t feel it. Others give themselves over to it. A few daring individuals have tried to actually go for it. But it seems that despite a wild youth, Poe has settled into a reasonably responsible adulthood. It is not recommended that you pursue him aggressively.”
Cut, footage of a very attractive blonde woman in her early thirties, in a New Republican Starfleet uniform. She is labeled Garella Unaeron, and subtitled Shared Single, Memorable Wild Night Of Passion. “I just broke into his quarters and got naked and lay in his bed until he showed up,” she says, looking smug. “It went well for me, but I mean, we were also like eighteen. So. I don’t imagine that’d go as well now he’s defected to the Resistance.” She tosses her hair, clearly taking a moment to remember. “But I mean, if you go for it,” she went on, “much as I loathe his politics, I gotta say, he’s really great in the sack. I don’t imagine he’s lost the knack, it’s not the kind of thing you get worse at with practice.” Suddenly her expression changes, twisting into suspicion. “Wait, who did you say you were again?” The camera jerks and the footage ends abruptly.
The next shot is a craggily-handsome man in his late thirties, with a scar down one cheekbone that speaks of a life of action. He is labeled Naeher Adamant, and subtitled Had Actual Grown-Up Sexual Relationship. “A gentleman never kisses and tells,” he says, unsmiling, but he looks pleased nonetheless, or perhaps fond. “I can tell you, though, that Dameron is never other than entirely genuine. There’s no need to play games.”
Another cut, another interview subject, head and shoulders of a shiny-polished droid. Titled CR-31T, Mechanic, and subtitled He Is Really That Nice All The Time. “I’ve never worked with any other human who went so out of his way to make sure I understood that he considered me a person, on par with a biological organism,” the droid said, a little shyly. “It’s not— I don’t mind, you know, I know what I am, but he’s just— he’s so nice.”
Cut to footage of Poe Dameron, dressed in his flight suit, clearly training footage of some kind as he is watching someone offscreen and gesturing a little hesitantly to parts of his gear, as if in demonstration. He is apparently a little bored with making training videos, however, and is making amusing faces at the offscreen person, exaggerated expressions of wide-eyed wonder and grimacing trepidation.
Meanwhile, voiceover:
“So when you find yourself suffused with inappropriate feelings for this particular individual, just remember, you’re not alone. Speak to your counselor about what coping method is best for you. And above all, don’t make it weird: we’re relying on him, and his possibly-unholy combination of dashing charm and uncanny good luck. Try to use your misplaced erotic energy wisely.”
The music swells again, and the scene cuts to another video of Poe, zoomed in on him from quite a distance; he is outdoors, watching something at a distance with a vacant half-smile. The wind, again, ruffles his hair slightly, attractively, and he laughs silently, eyes crinkling up fetchingly. The title rolls up the screen again:
DEALING WITH YOUR INEVITABLE CRUSH ON POE DAMERON
As the scene fades to black, the title is the last thing visible, then winks out as well.
____
This is part of a longer thing that’s not really coming together yet but I promise it will. @artgroves and I are working together on it and I am more excited than I can even express.
I am crying. Try to use your misplaced erotic energy wisely.
Like, if no ones gonna read it, you should still write it.
If no ones gonna see it, you should still do it.
If no ones gonna hear you, you should still say it.
You’re not measured by how people react to you.
You’re not measured by how people react to you.
Sometimes it’s so hard to remember that I am a whole person with inherent worth in and of myself, and that my worth does not only exist when people reflect it back on me
Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944 Chamber of Secrets: 85,141 Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253 Goblet of Fire: 190,637 Order of the Phoenix: 257,045 Half-Blood Prince: 168,923 Deathly Hallows: 198,227
Word count in the LOTR Series:
The Hobbit: 95,022 Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227 Two Towers: 143,436 Return of the King: 134,462
Molly Weasley having so many grandchildren that the kids start stand in specific formations to spell bad words with their sweaters in the Christmas photos
Molly Weasley’s children and their spouses specifically picking out baby names that start with certain letters so that they can stand in specific formations to spell bad words with their sweaters in the Christmas photos
I’m probably way late to the party in posting this, but I thought it was such good commentary.
If some art house director made a movie about, say, the
malaise-inflected ill behavior of the fading gentry by filming nearly
500 hours of footage of actors banging around an Italian mansion and
then sculpting it into a movie in edits, that this would be considered a
major artistic achievement would be inarguable. Doubly so if the
finished product managed to tell a moving story with minimal dialogue,
with most emotion being conveyed through blocking and meaningful glances
between actors. It would be a triumph of cinema, a profound statement
on what movies have to offer the art of storytelling that theater and
novels cannot provide.
Well, that is exactly what “Mad Max” is, even if it pulls the stunt off
with car chases and cartoonish violence, instead of gazing out of
windows while the music subtly swells in the background. The fact that
it’s such a fun movie shouldn’t distract from the fact that
it’s also an artistic experiment toying with how to use the tools of
film-making to tell a story in an entirely different way than we’re used
to.
C’mon, Academy, Oscars for George AND Margaret please! And for all the other MMFR nominees, too!
“Mad Max” is more than just a really good movie. It’s also a wildly innovative movie, one that plays with the very idea of filmmaking itself. The director, George Miller, tore up the book on how to make a movie, taking huge risks in doing so, and ended up making the movie that people could not stop talking about this year.“
- The reason you get extra hungry before and during your period is because your body is physically burning more calories, sometimes as many as 300 more per day for the duration of your period, with an elevated BMR (base metabolic rate) in the days before it starts. So no, you’re not being weird or gross or undisciplined if you want to eat a bunch of chocolate - your body is just burning the same amount of calories you’d expend in 25 minutes on a crosstrainer to shed your uterine lining.
- This is especially important to remember if you’re already, for whatever reason, eating fewer calories per day than it takes to maintain your current weight, which is about 2000 for an adult, though it can be dangerous to have much less than 1300 per day. Think of it like this: if you’re eating 1600 calories a day out of a potential healthy 2000, and your body suddenly wants an extra 300, you’re not craving 1900, but 2300, which is the difference between wanting a chocolate bar and a slice of toast, and wanting an entire extra meal. So, I say again: DO NOT feel bad about wanting to eat more during your period. Your body is working hard, and needs fuel!
- Paradoxically, despite the rate at which you’re burning calories, you’re also retaining water, which can make you both feel and weigh as heavier. Speaking personally, I’ve noticed my weight fluctuate by as much two kilos (4.5 pounds) before and after a period, rising before and during, then dropping sharply afterwards. So if you’re struggling with body image or weight issues, this is a suboptimal time at which to get on the scales: the result you’ll get will only reflect a temporary reality, not your actual progress, and is therefore unhelpful.
- If, for whatever reason, you’re self-conscious about easing your cramps with a hot water bottle where other people can see it, whether at home or work, consider using a plastic soft drink bottle filled with hot/boiling water. Even if you put it openly on your lap, instead of tucking it under a shirt or into a front hoodie pocket, it will just look like a regular bottle of water, and any relief is better than none!
- No, it’s not weird if you shit more during your period than usual, either. The hormones your body releases that make your uterus to contract and release sometimes end up in the bowel, particularly if you happen to produce a lot of them, which means that bowel contracts and releases, too.
- If anyone tries to make a dumbass sexist joke about your being more [insert stereotypically negative feminine quality here] while on your period, you can tell them that actually, menstruation raises testosterone levels, not oestrogen. (Telling them to go fuck themselves with an angry cactus can also be therapeutic.)
- The cramps and lower back pain often experienced during menstruation, when the uterus expels its contents and your hips shift slightly wider to accommodate it, are a microcosm of what happens during actual labour. So yeah: it can hurt!
- That being said, we’ve culturally accepted the idea of massive period pain as normative to such an extent that many people don’t realise their pain is a sign that something’s wrong. Despite how common they are, a lot of conditions like PCOS and endometriosis are poorly understood in terms of their etiology, which means it can be hard to get an accurate diagnosis. But if your periods regularly have you screaming, vomiting or totally incapacitated, get checked out: you shouldn’t have to just shut up and endure because it’s ‘meant’ to feel like that. It’s not, and there are ways to manage it.
- As well as being a form of birth control, you can take the pill to control or stop your period. When used to prevent menstruation, the pill tricks the body into thinking you’re already pregnant, which stalls your cycle (and stops you from actually getting pregnant). Though some people worry that it’s unnatural not to menstruate for long periods of time, or for your body to ‘feel’ pregnant for so long, it’s also important to remember that, after an actual pregnancy, especially if you breastfeed, your period won’t resume right away. This is called
lactational amenorrhea, which can work as a form (though not, I hasten to add, a 100% reliable form) of natural birth control. Basically, it means your body is focussed on producing milk for an existing child, such that you can’t easily conceive another one until the first child is weaned. While this varies from person to person, the important thing to remember is that there’s ample biological precedent for stopping menstruation for long periods of time whether you’re pregnant or not, and that choosing to do so via the pill doesn’t make you unnatural, nor does it cause your body to do something it otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t.
In conclusion: periods suck, but knowing how and why they work and how best to manage them can make them suck slightly less. So go ye forth, and be educated!
A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
Honestly I will always be grateful to Brooklyn 99 for giving us “cool motive, still murder” as a quick, no-frills response to all these weak white boy villains with woe-is-me backstories that fandoms inevitably try to woobify.
Forget the Myers-Briggs fucking personality assessment. I am dead tired of hearing if someone is an INFP or an ESLQ or whatever. I want to know if someone is melancholic or choleric. Bring back the four humors. I wanna see “Kaley, 16, phlegmatic” when I go to someone’s blog. Who is with me. Lets make this happen
here’s a test i found. go wild, y'all. (im choleric.)
i love when mulder or scully have some extended emo ass voiceover bc that’s their fucking report and skinner whos Just Trying to Do His Damn Job has to read pages of their bullshit like. they never solve a damn case but heres three pages meditating on human mortality also mulder cried on it a little
You could make an argument for Steve being in almost any hogwarts house but because I like Steve in situations where he confuses everyone and fucks shit up I kinda really like Slytherin oops
Oh my god yes and also give it to me. Bucky gets sorted into idk Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff after an awkwardly long deliberation but Steve just barely gets the Hat on his head and it doesn’t even pause or give him time to ask to be in Bucky’s house, just instantly screams “SLYTHERIN!“
Everyone is slightly deafened and extremely baffled, they were literally already making room for him over at the Hufflepuff table. The other Slytherins take one look at him and can’t decide if they’re thrilled or terrified; half of them hate him and half of them want to be his own personal Death Eaters because obviously that is where this situation is going, of course it is, wait why is Rogers talking to that Gryffindor with the broomstick fetish and those weird Potions-obsessed Ravenclaws who disappear once a month. Did he just try to beat up Rumlow and Rollins for stealing Foster’s bag, does he not know she’s a mudblood? Why is he even talking to Barton, Barton is practically a Squib!
Cross-house friendships skyrocket, inter-house scuffles also skyrocket, and Professor Pierce’s neutrally pleasant smile suffers greatly. Professor Fury passes out infinite detentions, detentions for everyone.
Natasha Romanoff is mysteriously there for all of them despite never getting caught doing anything ever. No one wants to know why.
Headcanon: Steve Rogers has two favorite television programs: Call The Midwife and the in-universe version of Agent Carter, which he refers to as “The Peggy Show.”
As in, “Hey, Sam, did you watch The Peggy Show last night?”
(Sam has started watching it in self defense, because otherwise Steve will just recite the entire plot of the episode to him).
Steve’s favorite parts of The Peggy Show include: when Peggy is right, when Peggy is smarter than men, when Peggy saves the day, and when Peggy punches people. This is the entire show. He likes the entire show.
Once, when Steve went to visit real Peggy, she mentioned that they were making a TV show of her life, and that it was “Completely ridiculous, just fanciful nonsense. In real life my outfits were all significantly better, and the men were all significantly worse.”
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
This post is one of those things that I will reblog every time it appears on my dash. This is so important, and no one ever tells you about it.
I almost didn’t read this but then I did and I’m really glad that I did.
Super important
Yes! This is why I make the majority of my clothes, and those that I don’t make I thrift fancy stuff and tailor it to fit properly. The best advice I can give is to never settle for off the rack sizing because the arbitrary numbers mean nothing and you will look the best by learning how to sew a little, hem your pants, cut the t-shirt into a crop top, make your skirts waists perfectly, and look rad as heck.
you gotta make the clothes fit you, not make yourself fit the clothes
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It really drives me insane that I don’t know how people feel about me. Like am I nice??? Am I funny???? Am I mean???? Am I rude??? Am I obnoxious??? Am I dumb???? What am I????????????????????
Red flag: “No one but me is allowed to touch you.”
Totally cool: “It makes me feel weird when you flirt with other people, can we talk about that?”
Red flag: “If you loved me, you would stop being friends with them. You KNOW it makes me jealous.”
Totally cool: “I hope we’re together forever. I’m so in this for the long haul.”
Red flag: “If you ever left me, I would kill myself.”
Totally cool: “Your mom is really unkind to me, can we try to minimize how often you bring me when you visit her?”
Red flag: “Your mom hates me, you need to stop talking to her. She’s trying to ruin our relationship.”
Totally cool: “I love you so much, oh my god.”
Red flag: “It’s a good thing I love you so much, because no one else would. You’d be alone forever without me.”
Other important red flags to keep in mind: someone who wants to jump into emotional/financial co-dependence very fast (like moving in together right away, or becoming each other’s only confidantes right away) and won’t take no for an answer; someone who tries to minimize how often you leave the house or interact with other people; someone who threatens you or themselves or your family or pets or possessions or financial future; someone who uses guilt to keep you from leaving a relationship.
Very important reminder: You do not need a reason to leave a relationship. Neither does the other person (or people). A relationship is over when one of the people in it says it’s over, period. Obviously it’s kind to take the end of a long relationship seriously, but abusers and manipulators have lost the right to that conversation. Lie if you need to–your safety is much more important than their feelings.
STAR WARS PROMPT: Finn is a missing prince and his royal family finds him.
Their ship malfunctions, the mission goes south, and the royal guards catch them trying to steal parts and get the hell out of orbit. Poe is clapped in irons and thrown into the royal dungeon without incident, but the droid who processes Finn starts beeping dramatically, and in short order Finn is surrounded by excited doctors who take his blood, print his feet, and gape wildly at each other before apologizing, profusely. One of them starts weeping as she bandages the little puncture on his arm, where she’d drawn blood.
“Um, that’s all right,” Finn says, uncomfortable, trying to pull his arm away. She weeps harder, and mutters something about twenty-three years and eight pounds, eleven ounces. “You don’t have to–do whatever it is you’re doing. You could let us go, though, if you want,” he adds optimistically.
They do not let him go.
Instead, they sweep him into the nicest room Finn has ever seen–all gold and marble with real silk curtains and a forcefield glittering over the windows. Two humans are waiting for him–one very old woman, and one man maybe a little younger than the General. The man lets out a little involuntary sound when he sees Finn, and the woman visibly pales, gripping the man’s arm tight enough that Finn can see her knuckles whiten.
The man recovers himself first, although he can’t stop himself from staring at Finn, as though some private secret is laid bare by Finn’s face. “What’s your name?” he asks Finn, hoarsely.
“Finn Dameron,” Finn tells them, and begins uncertainly to give them the cover identity he and Poe came up with a while back. “I’m a pilot on the New Destiny, on my way to Yavin 4. My ship crash-landed just outside the capital, and–it was all a misunderstanding, but you’ve got my copilot in your dungeon, ma’am. Sir.”
“Your name is not Finn Dameron,” the old woman says, brushing off the man, and Finn feels a brief flicker of panic–does she know? How could she know? They’re not in First Order territory–when she steps forward until she’s standing just in front of him. She’s just as tall as he is, and her eyes are dark and glittering. She takes both of his hands in hers, and Finn feels his mouth go dry, a strange dread welling up in him for whatever she’s about to say next. “Your name is Orion Nox D’elian,” she says in a clear, merciless voice. “Your father was Lesser-Prince Isa Nox D’elian. You are my grandson.”
*
Finn tries to explain that it’s not possible, he was a Stormtrooper, he doesn’t have a family, but everyone keeps chiming in to explain how it is possible. Lesser-Prince Isa was killed on a hospital-ship raid. All the children who didn’t die were taken by the First Order, including Lesser-Prince Orion. He was three months old. They’ve been looking for him ever since.
Looking for Prince Orion, Finn reminds himself, staving back the panic and shaking his head wildly at the servant who tries offering him a platter of unfamiliar sweet-smelling fruit. Not FN-1287, and definitely not Finn Dameron, Resistance soldier.
“Your mother has been notified,” the man says, who turns out to be High-Prince Mada Nox D’elian, and keeps telling Finn that he’s his uncle. He can’t seem to stop smiling, and it’s not helping Finn’s nerves.“She’s on a diplomatic mission to Titian 3, but she’s already on her way back. It shouldn’t take more than a day.”
But Finn doesn’t have a mother–has never had a mother–and the thought of this strange woman appearing and claiming the title makes him suddenly sick. “I want to see Poe Dameron,” he says loudly, interrupting the High-Prince, who is showing him a holo of Lesser-Prince Isa, who looks horrifically like the face Finn knows from the mirror. “He’s my friend. My copilot. In your dungeon. Can you–I want to see him. Please.”
When they bring Poe up, he’s clearly been run under a sonic, because the sweat and grime they’d both accumulated on the journey from the crash site is gone. He’s also been bundled into a raw silk robe, and someone’s spritzed tea-tree oil into his hair, as Finn discovers when he races to hug Poe and get his grip on reality back.
“Hey, hey, buddy,” Poe says cautiously into Finn’s hair, hugging back just as tightly. His body is tense against Finn’s, but he doesn’t seem like he’s about to bolt, as much as Finn might welcome the idea.“You okay?”
“I’m okay,” Finn confirms, still inhaling tea-tree oil. “They, um. They think I’m their missing prince.”
“Wow,” Poe says slowly, hands slipping away as Finn reluctantly detaches himself. “I mean. Wow. That explains why they keep calling me princess-consort, anyway.”
maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)
reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about
maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?
I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)
6 years later and avatar (the james cameron movie) is still completely incomprehensible to me. like you’ve got the highest grossing film in recent history and no one actually enjoyed it beyond “eh. it was okay”
Avatar is such a weird anomaly. It’s the highest grossing film EVER (not adjusting for inflation) by a huge margin and yet it left virtually no footprint on popular culture. It had its 15 minutes of fame to the tune of $2.7 billion dollars worldwide, and within a few years it’s like no one remembers it even existed. You only ever really see it mentioned these days in the context of its record-breaking box office.
One thing I love about Judaism is that long involved conversations about things like “can a zombie attend shul?” or “can i use my pet dragon to light candles on shabbat?” or “is meat from a replicator kosher?” are seen as completely normal.
Yes, but it should avoid contact with a Cohen if it can, and if the dragon is a Gentile sure, why not, a pet dragon is an ideal Shabbos goy, since it probably lives with you, and will get a kick out of helping. If it’s a Jewish dragon, though, no, it’s better for you to do it yourself rather than cause another Jew to violate Shabbat.
Wait wait… if a jew owned the dragon as a pet wouldn’t using the beast’s labor to light candles be pretty explicitly prohibited?
Good point. Is the dragon property, or is it a roommate?
I think it was ruled that one may allow a dragon to ignite a fire if (a) the dragon is non-sapient, and preventing them from lighting the fire would be animal cruelty, or (b) the dragon is sapient, non-Jewish and not in indentured service.
And one cannot bring a dragon into a household for the express purpose of lighting candles at a later date, since the Jew would be directly benefiting from the dragon’s actions on Shabbat.
But if the dragon just happens to live there already and feels the urge to light candles, it should not be stopped from doing so – as the sages said: “the same candle that benefits one can be used to benefit one hundred.“ (Shulchan Aruch HaRav, 276:6)
Imagine a villain getting injured and losing their memory and the heroes finding them and taking them with them and taking care of them and the villain gets their memory back after like a week but doesn’t want to say anything because the heroes are being so nice to them and nobody has been that nice to them in so long and they don’t want it to end and they’re maybe getting fond of the heroes but don’t tell anyone shhh. But eventually something happens and the heroes are in trouble and they’re trying to get the villain to run away because they still think they’re an amnesiac with no idea how to defend themself and they’ve grown to like them and don’t want them to get hurt but the villain just pushes past them toward whatever is trying to hurt the heroes and just fuckin goes guns blazing and destroys them
Well damn
I need this in my life
@joons this sounds like something you would write??
Things I noticed on the 195th time viewing Fury Road:
When Max is collecting hidden guns inside the rig and he points and snaps to the one behind Furiosa, Cheedo is the one who obeys Max and retrieves the gun. She is so used to obeying the commands of men that she doesn’t question it like others do.
When Cheedo runs to go back to Joe after Angharad’s death, her anger is so pure and audible, such a 180 from how we’ve seen her til this point. When the other girls tell remind her of Angharad’s words “We are not things”, she lowers her voice and screams, almost growling back at them “And now she’s dead!”.
Max has a flashback of Glory being run down just before Furiosa pins him to the Rig and tries to make him shoot himself in the face with his own gun. He is shaking his head, twitching it quite a bit during the first part of the film, trying to get that image out of his head while trying to defend himself and escape.
Max never does join the Vuvalini at their camp site. He stays inside the rig during Furiosa’s emotional reunion with them, and he remains near the rig when she speaks to him later. He still feels apart from them. Unaccepted by anyone but Furiosa.
Max’s personality and body language shift so noticeably after he rides out to catch the women on the salt. It’s incredibly, incredibly obvious he’s had a major change happen in his mind. From here on he is one of the group, interacting seamlessly with each member of the crew, even the Vuvalini women, who have given them their trust.
It is one of the Vuvalini who calls out to Max “Stay with me” when he’s momentarily stunned while fighting on the rig. This transitions into a vision of Glory asking him to stay with her. We’ve seen a repeating theme of women asking Max to stay with them through this film. This can be viewed as them welcoming him, caring for him, or it can be viewed as torturous for Max, because he can never stay by their side.
Nux is revealed to be on the Rig, and the women still do not trust him, but Max does. He goes to destroy the Bullet Farmer, and he brings back the wheel and boot for Nux. At this point Max knows fully that Nux is like he is…swept up in a situation, where it’s best they all work together to survive.
Nux is the only other person Max touches, skin to skin, besides Furiosa. He touches his head and gives him this affectionate pat to urge him back into the Rig during the speed battle with Slit.
Furiosa’s pain from her stab wound is made clear quickly/ As she shifts gears to ram Joe’s Gigahorse, you can her the raspy, airy sound in her voice lets you know what is happening to her, even though her wound is fresh. A++++ for Charlize’s acting, again.
Slit points at Furiosa when he is aiming to kill her while driving the Razor Cola. Nux points at Capable and the Vuvalini when he is about to destroy himself for them.
Max speaks in a very mannerful way during the blood transfusion. He even says “thank you” while asking one of the girls to hold something for him. He says “sorry” numerous times. Important because it’s completely extraneous, he has no reason to speak with such manners, yet ye does. He is communicating with gratitude, which in such a world, is almost completely forgotten, yet he does it here. He could bark orders, but he chooses to speak orderly and kindly to everyone in this scene. He cares for and respects them all enough to treat them properly, as mankind once treated people before they devolved into insanity.
Max continues to hold Furiosa’s head until the fade. (pardon me for my sobbs)
Another auditory detail that I noticed on my…somethingorotherth viewing: The Vuvalini woman is saying “Stay with me,” but what actually makes Max get up is that two polecats land on the rig and one of them says to the other, “You finish them, I’ll finish her,” meaning Furiosa. Ha, not today motherfucker.
But what if Anakin isn’t ignoring Kylo Ren? What if that great pull Kylo feels towards the Light is Anakin Skywalker desperately trying to save his grandson from his own fate, the way his wife and son tried to save him?
what if Anakin is literally constantly standing behind Kylo Ren, sputtering with ghostly frustration, going, “No! No! No! Do not do that! Do NOT do that! oh for fuck’s sake.”
This is almost certainly what is actually happening.
“Ben if you skewer my son-in-law with that lightsaber then SO HELP ME”
“Ben Solo your mother is blaming me for this, get your ass home and apologize now or I swear-”
And Yoda and Obi-wan are watching, shaking their heads. “Now you know how we felt,” Obi-wan says.
Yoda agrees: “A bitch, karma is.”
I love this. So many people can just totally see Anakin trying to strangle Ben from the afterlife.
I didn’t even like Star Wars before TFA and even I can say that this is the ONLY truly feasible option.
Do you know who doesn’t get enough love from the Harry Potter fandom?
Madam Poppy BAMF Poppy
Escorted a teenage werewolf to a deadly tree each month.
Took care of that teenage werewolf after every full moon and you know that she probably fussed over him and mothered him and gave him a bunch of chocolate.
Literally didn’t question things.
This boy has a bite that’s turning green and he says is from a dog? Okay.
This girl is half-cat? Alright
Had to put up with Harry’s excessive injuries each year.
Took care of and cured a bunch of petrified students.
Didn’t put up with Malfoy’s crap.
LITERALLY YELLED AT DUMBLEDORE!
YELLED AT THE MINISTER OF MAGIC!
KICKED DUMBLEDORE AND THE MINISTER OF MAGIC OUT!!!
Was the one who took care of Cedric Diggory’s corpse.
Refused to resign under Umbridge’s regime because she was afraid of what would happen to the students.
Took care of everyone during the battle in HBP.
Fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and tended to the wounded/dead.
Probably had to deal with hundreds of students who misused the Engorgio Charm.
can i just say like telling people not to smoke or drink alcohol while they’re pregnant is ableist and classist as fuck and it needs to stop
first off the majority of smokers/substance abusers are from disadvantaged and poor backgrounds or are struggling with mental health issues and they use it as a coping method so to tell them theyre a bad person for doing that is both classist and ableist
the main argument against it is that your child will come out disabled but honestly if that happens so what??? whats wrong with that??? this whole mindset has deep fucking roots in ableist thought process and im fucking sick of it. like. why do you hate people with disabilities lol
okay but if you’re not going to go outside could you at least open a window and let some air in
Am I reading this right?
All yalls kids gonna have fetal alcohol syndrome and my kids are gonna be zooming past them in school
These folks have drank so much of their own kool-aid
If you do anything while pregnant that you know could be an active risk to your child’s health, could have a negative impact on their ability to navigate the world? Once the child is out of the womb, we’d call that child abuse. Once you’re a parent, you have a responsibility to the tiny person you helped create. If you’re going to carry the pregnancy to full term, yes you need to stop doing certain things, or at least damn well try. My cousin was born addicted because his mother was, and he did nothing but scream endlessly while in withdrawal. If you voluntarily choose put put your child through that, even if they don’t have permanent health repercussions from it, you’re a bad damn parent. And honestly, if your baby is disabled as a result of your refusal to stop doing addictive things, you aren’t going to be able to provide for their special needs because you’ll be too busy accommodating your own desires over what’s best for them, just like you did before. If you really cant quit, you shouldn’t be carrying the kid to full term in the first place.
^^ This exactly. This is not coming from some sort of terrible anti-vaxx logic, where people think that they’d rather have their child die of a COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE disease than somehow magically ‘contract’ autism from a vaccine (spoiler alert in case my derision did not carry through the internet: vaccines do not, have never, and will never cause autism, because that is not how autism works and also not how vaccines work, and furthermore if you’d rather indulge your baseless paranoia than protect your child and those who can’t be vaccinated, you’re a bad parent; the tag ‘vaccinate your spawn’ contains my rants to this effect). The logic of “do not smoke or drink or do drugs while pregnant, OR, if you know you cannot quit your vice of choice, avoid pregnancy” is based on the desire to protect newborn children from preventable problems that can threaten their lives. As mentioned above, children born addicted to a drug suffer brutal withdrawal–fun fact, withdrawal can KILL adults. Delirium tremens, the last phase of alcohol withdrawal, has a mortality rate of between 5% and 15%. FOR ADULTS. Even with the best medical care possible–and by the way you’ll need to pay for that and, in the US, it won’t be cheap–there’s obviously a mortality rate for addicted neonates. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) and other related disorders can include problems ranging from mild developmental issues (ADHD or autism-like symptoms, and as someone who manifests a nice dose of the former with an option on the latter, I can confirm it ain’t a picnic) to severe neurological problems (actual damage to the central nervous system or brain which…um, do I really need to go into detail here). Among other things. I included a nice link to Wiki so you can do your own research.
Hell, if for some reason protecting a kid from preventable life-long problems isn’t exactly your cup of tea, try some self-interest on for size: being on strong drugs or vasodilators (like…well, alcohol) while pregnant can increase the risk of problems FOR THE MOTHER. (We’re going with ‘mother’ here as the generally accepted term for ‘person whose uterus is physically containing a growing fetus’ and I just…I don’t want to hear about it, okay.) Pregnancy is already a risky business, because it demands a total alteration of the mother’s body (more here x, also this is the CDC’s page on pregnancy complications which is actually a little thin on the ground but hey gotta start somewhere). For the love of all that you hold holy, why WHY WHY would you knowingly increase that risk by adding drugs (illicit or otherwise) and/or alcohol to the mix? Christ, it’s recommended that pregnant folks avoid COFFEE so that they don’t mess up the delicate system–in the later months of pregnancy, you’re not supposed to lie on your right side because everything’s so squished by that point and lying in the wrong position can bring on a faint as the vena cava is compressed. See above re: WHY WHY WHY.
So…yeah. No. Honestly? What are you doing? Get clean before you have kids. It’s better for EVERYONE INVOLVED and also for my blood pressure.
Your boss is not your friend. Your boss is not someone you can trust. Your relationship with your boss needs to be entirely professional.
Do not do your boss favours. No working for free. No doing unreasonable duties. No working outside the hours you state as available.
Do not say anything to your boss. About anything. Keep it work related. They will only use personal information against you.
Know your rights. Know the laws. Your boss will come at you trying to get you to quit like its a favour to you. Its usually because they can’t legally fire you.
Be wary around your coworkers. Some will have no problem passing things along to your boss. Such as your mental health or financial standing
Never offer to pay for anything lost, stolen or broken. Especially if money is missing from the till.
Demand safe working conditions.
Your boss is only there to exploit your labour for profit. Unfortunately you need that labour to sustain yourself. Just be careful.
Your boss will likely act buddy/buddy with you. Let them. But don’t reciprocate. They tell you how they got wasted and are super hungover at work? You tell them how you wish you weren’t such a boring person who goes to bed at 10p every night. They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.
super mega important: “They tell you how much they don’t like your co-worker, you tell them that the co-worker tries their hardest.”
sext: you look like the universe decided that it was tired of being so immense so it compressed all of its beauty and complexity and wonder into a smaller form so it could make everyone around it feel like they were a part of the stars
An anon requested an "unconventional" set of tags for the tag game going around (where people reblog and write in the words and click whatever tag shows up first). So here’s some ones that I don’t think I’ve seen around before!
