tumblr is such a bizarre kind of social interaction. like. the rules are so different here. I once unfollowed someone because they said prime numbers were ugly and that was simply the last straw for me. imagine hanging out with a friend and getting up from the table and never talking to them again because they told you they hated prime numbers. that’s what I did.
i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.
when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.
maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.
is that magic??
honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.
My ankles never twist. I’ve always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. I pulled my shoe on and kept running.
I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. I knew a guy who never made an error when typing.
Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don’t realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside.
this is the cutest post i have ever read…
Nooo I’ve actually shared this theory before. Like my Dad is really lucky finding parking spaces. And I’ve never cracked my phone even though I drop it on the time and have an average case. Like what if everybody gets one trivial part of their life that they’re illogically lucky at?
this post makes me feel better about myself
Left turn magic here. I’ve pulled up to 4 lane roads with medians and had no traffic at 5 pm, just to turn left.
Okay, so, now that you're suffering and probably in need of a person to rant to: what are the Foxhole Court books about, I am curious and also overly optimistic about how much free time I'm likely to have this summer.
OmG
well first of all I hope you have a great summer!
and secondly /fuck/ where do i start
Basically the foxhole court books (which is actually called the all for the game series) is basically a trilogy about
Well
A game and a team that plays it? God i don’t know how to describe it
But it’s not quite a sports book and it’s not quite a thriller
It’s suspenseful
But the MAIN THING TO UNDERSTAND is that the characters are absolutely incredible. The characters and their interactions are what make everything worth it. They are fantastic.
I’m going to type this with as much seriousness as i can possibly muster
I have read many, many hundreds of books in my life
these were at the fucking top, and Andrew Joseph Minyard is my #1 favorite book character ever
So basically
1) a really interesting (and made-up?) sport that is written really well even for people like me who don’t like sports
2) incredible twists and turns and surprises; a great plot and excellent writing to back it up
3) CHARACTERS AND THEIR INTERACTIONS
4) Andrew Joseph Minyard
also! If you’re planning on reading them, get them all at the same time. (I got all of them on my kindle for $1.98 cause i had some coupon things? but i don’t think the regular prices are much more) They flow right into each other like one big book. Having all three is a necessity in my eyes; it took me two and a half days, i was so caught up. Couldn’t put them down
so
yeah
there is my rave review. :) EVERYONE SHOULD READ THESE FANTASTIC BOOKS
You should really write a book about your life. In the meantime, tell us all a story, please?
I AM EXTREMELY STRONG: a story about furniture
the summer that i was about thirteen or fourteen, my mother decided to buy a la-z-boy for my stepdad, skip, for their anniversary. she did this because my mother loves giving presents and my stepdad loves sitting down.
she needed someone to help transport the chair from the furniture store back to our house. my brother was, at the time, at Sports Camp For Young Boys Who Want Girls To Kiss Them, and skip was obviously out of the question, so her only option was me.
me at 13, a self-portrait:
pigeon-toed
desperately physically unfit
favorite snack was mozzarella cheese. no garnish. just…… balls of mozzarella cheese
in my “i only listen to blink-182 and my favorite color is linkin park after dark nailpolish,” phase
SO OFF WE WENT.
the chair was in a big furniture warehouse, like a schewels or something. my mother, a woman who never goes into a situation without a to-do list and a plan of action, knew immediately what she wanted.
it was a broad recliner, taupe-ish, with a retractable foot rest. it was the everest of chairs. once you sat in this chair, you were never getting up. you would have to be brought your meals. your loved ones would bid you adieu, sadly, waving from the living room. “we’re going on a family vacation,” they would tell you, and you would say, “there is nothing left for me but the warm embrace of this chair, and death.”
“mollyhall, help us move this,” my mother said.
“us?” i asked. “as in, the three of us? we are moving this chair?”
i looked at the Everest Chair. i looked at my mother. i looked at skinny mcdimples. i gestured at my own noodle arms, and at skinny mcdimples’ everything.
“uh,” i said, pointedly.
“we can DO IT,” my mother insisted.
“uh,” repeated skinny mcdimples, this time with urgency.
“LISTEN,” said my mother, drawing herself up to her full height of a whopping 5’5”, her voice dropping about 6 octaves to decibels typically only heard in whalesong.
“WE CAN LIFT THIS FUCKING CHAIR.
I AM.
EXTREMELY.
STRONG.”
THAT’S MY SECRET. I AM ALWAYS FUCKIN’ PUMPED ABOUT FURNITURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
skinny mcdimples and i quickly snapped into action, because nobody wants to fuck with a 5’5” hulk woman with a love of leisure seating. my mother lifted the whole front of the Everest Chair, running high on adrenaline and self-righteous fury, while skinny mcdimples and i struggled desperately with the back half, shooting one another frequent, panicked looks.
by the time we got it out to the car, poor skinny mcdimples and i were sweating bullets, hands slipping all over the suede, sending up desperate pleas to the lord jesus to keep the Everest Chair from crushing our bodies the way it had crushed our spirits.
my mother lifted the Everest Chair with one hand and tossed it into the bed of the truck.
“see?” she asked. “i told you. piece of cake.”
“piece of cake,” skinny mcdimples and i agreed, in between bouts of vomiting from exertion and crying.
i think about skinny mcdimples sometimes. how is he doing? is he still working at the furniture store, or did the trauma of the Everest Chair send him into a downward spiral that led to a career 180? did he realize that if he can lift the Everest Chair, he can lift everything? is he a pro wrestler now? did he marry? does he ever think of me, thirteen, chubby as hell, clinging desperately to the back of the Everest Chair and hissing, “i’m gonna die, we’re all gonna die here,” under my breath?
SKINNY MCDIMPLES, WHAT BECAME OF YOU?
we pulled out of the parking lot. i was too physically exhausted to do anything but curl up in the passenger seat and—
thump.
thumpthump.
thumpthump. thUMP. THUMP.
“what is that? is something knocking?”
KNOCK KNOCK.
WHO’S THERE?
HUBRIS.
IT’S YOUR OWN
GODDAMN
HUBRIS,
MOM.
we pulled over.
i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.
the Everest Chair sat rocking in the truck bed, knocking against the back window every time a breeze rolled by.
“you can sit on it to hold it down,” said my mom. she had a wildness in her eyes.
a sweet, jolly-looking old man in a pickup truck not dissimilar to our own pulled into the parking lot where we were throwing down with the Everest Chair. he leaned out of the driver’s window, his santa eyes sparkling. “do you ladies need help?” he asked. “i have some bungees in the back if you need ‘em.”
there it was!!! our chance for salvation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mother’s face darkened. her lips went white. she seemed to expand outward, like the size of her rage with this chair and her tragically useless daughter could not be contained by the human body. her voice sound like the way the sky looks just before it dumps so much water on your house that you have to immediately start bailing water out of the windows with buckets when she said—said, not shouted, because her rage had gone far past shouting:
“WE DON’T NEED ANY FUCKING HELP.”
yes, we did!!!!!!!
we did desperately need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“wait,” i whispered fruitlessly as Santa Man drove hastily off. my mother turned back to the Everest Chair. she tossed a tarp over it, and stretched a single bungee across its girth.
one bungee cord and a tarp?
ONE BUNGEE CORD?
AND A TARP?
“there,” she said. “piece of cake.”
“look, i don’t want to be the one to bring this up,” i said cautiously as we got back into the truck’s cab, the Everest Chair still thumping merrily. we both ignored it so steadily we made thetell-tale heart guy jealous. knocking? what knocking? HAHA, EVERYTHING IS FINE. AFTER ALL, WE USED ONE BUNGEE CORD. AND A TARP.
“bring what up?” my mother asked.
i swallowed. “um….how are we going to get it inside the house?”
****
6 HOURS LATER, AT THEIR ANNIVERSARY DINNER:
“i love my new chair!!!!! did you have it delivered?”
“mollyhall and i did it ourselves,” my mother said, taking a cool sip of wine. “it was a piece of cake.”
Rey and Poe teaching Finn how to shoot, "Guys I already know how to shoot a target, I was a stormtrooper," No, you learnt how to miss a target, you're not a storm trooper anymore so you should be able to hit a target now."
Finn’s like *long silence*
*checks blaster*
*rapid-fire shoots literally ALL THE TARGETS dead-center*
“They’d check our blasters to make sure we’d fired them, but they couldn’t check to make sure we’d actually hit something,” he says, looking at the blaster again and then just shrugging. “Also, I had the top score in my class every session.”
The new captain jumped from the deck, fully dressed, and sprinted through the water. A former lifeguard, he kept his eyes on his victim as he headed straight for the couple swimming between their anchored sportfisher and the beach. “I think he thinks you’re drowning,” the husband said to his wife. They had been splashing each other and she had screamed but now they were just standing, neck-deep on the sand bar. “We’re fine; what is he doing?” she asked, a little annoyed. “We’re fine!” the husband yelled, waving him off, but his captain kept swimming hard. ”Move!” he barked as he sprinted between the stunned owners. Directly behind them, not 10 feet away, their 9-year-old daughter was drowning. Safely above the surface in the arms of the captain, she burst into tears, “Daddy!”
How did this captain know—from 50 feet away—what the father couldn’t recognize from just 10? Drowning is not the violent, splashing call for help that most people expect. The captain was trained to recognize drowning by experts and years of experience. The father, on the other hand, had learned what drowning looks like by watching television. If you spend time on or near the water (hint: that’s all of us) then you should make sure that you and your crew know what to look for whenever people enter the water. Until she cried a tearful, “Daddy,” she hadn’t made a sound. As a former Coast Guard rescue swimmer, I wasn’t surprised at all by this story. Drowning is almost always a deceptively quiet event. The waving, splashing, and yelling that dramatic conditioning (television) prepares us to look for is rarely seen in real life.
going into summer people, take a good long look at it because you know if you can, you’re going to the beach, or the pool, or whatever body of water is nearby that people swim in. be smart, be safe.
I’m a
sucker for ships where Person A is damaged and Person B is their salvation, and
when you look closer, you find that Person B is damaged, as well, just in a
less obvious/volatile way, and Person A is their salvation right back.
In the musical of my life after I’m long gone, my wife Vanessa is going to be the one who steps forward as the hero. Vanessa is not particularly fond of musicals—she only likes good ones. She is not effusive in her praise, or boastful. But when I looked up from that Chernow book and said “I think this is a hip-hop musical,” she didn’t laugh, or roll her eyes. She just said, “That sounds cool.” And that was all I needed to get started. As I fell in love with the idea of a love triangle between Eliza, Alexander, and Angelica, she said, “Can you have Angelica rap? That would be cool.”
I am someone who is so averse to travel that I wrote a whole musical about not wanting to leave my block in Washington Heights. It was Vanessa who booked us trips and time away from New York. “You don’t get any writing done here because life keeps popping up.” Thanks to her, Hamilton was written in Mexico, Spain, Nevis, Sagaponack, St. Croix, Puerto Rico, The Dominican Republic—long trips where Vanessa would take me there and then leave me alone to write while she explored. She is my first audience, and she’s a tough audience, so I know if I impress her I’ve cleared the highest possible bar. She’ll come home from work and say, “Your king tune was stuck in my head all day—that’s probably a good sign.” This started out as a note trying to explain how my wife really is the ‘best of wives and best of women,’ but I’m trying to get at something more important—this show simply doesn’t exist without Vanessa. It’s a love letter to her.
”—Lin-Manuel Miranda on the role of his wife, Vanessa Nadal, in the creation of Hamilton. From the annotated libretto in Hamilton: The Revolution (via darrenburr)
In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.
no you don’t understand we actually do say that
i crashed my car into a bridge
THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME
We also say “That’s not my beer” for “That’s none of my buisness” and I think that’s beautiful
is germany even real
My roommate dated a German. When I was making dinner one night, he asked my roommate, “this food… does it taste?”
At our confusion, he explained that in Germany, food either “tastes” or “does not taste”. Which he then said he supposed said something about German food.
To be fair we do say “it tastes good” and “it tastes bad” and many variations thereof, but when we want to be succinct, then yes, it just tastes or doesn’t taste.
Other fun turns of phrase in German include:
“Ich versteh’ nur Bahnhof” = “I only understand train station” for when you’re confused
“Hast du Tomaten auf den Augen?” = “Have you got tomatoes on your eyes?” for when someone’s not seeing the obvious
“Auf die Schippe nehmen” = “Take someone on a shovel”, basically means to take the piss out of someone
“Du gehst mir auf den Sack” = “You’re walking on my sack” for when you’re pissed off
the world is beautiful
also there’s two more variations of “Du gehst mir auf den Sack.” (btw by sack we mean testicle. yeah.)
“Du gehst mir auf den Senkel.” = “You’re walking on my shoelace(s).”
“Du gehst mir auf den Keks.” = “You’re walking on my cookie.”
ALSO WE HAVE THE WORD “DOCH” (basically means yes, but in response to someone saying no) AND IT IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY THAT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS NO EQUIVALENT
I MISS ‘DOCH’ SO MUCH you basically have to settle for “does so” or “yes it does” or something not half as succintly defiant
I also miss “aneinander vorbei reden” = “to talk past each other”, meaning when people are completely missing each other’s points / talking about two different things. It’s such nice imagery.
And we call stupid people “Hans Wurst” = “Hans Sausage” (no matter if you are boy or a girl)
Yeah, if we are surprised we say “Holla die Waldfee” = “Holla the forest fairy”
Seriously though, how do children grow up without “doch” und “trotzdem”?
Holy mackerel I love this soooo!!
Also we have “noch in Abrahams Wurstkessel sein,” or “to still be in Abraham’s sausage pot”, which is basically saying you haven’t been born yet. As in, when Carter was president of the US, I was still in Abraham’s sausage pot.
I know “noch als Quark im Schaufenster liegen”, “to be still on display in the shop window as curd cheese” for not having been born yet.
Or there is the slightly less icky “mit den Mücken fliegen”, “to be flying with the mosquitoes”, or something my uncle says in his dialect: “Sternle putze”, “to be cleaning stars”.
Let’s not forget fremdschämen - to be ashamed/embarassed on behalf of somebody else.
Or our wonderful alternatives to calling somebody “Wimp”: Schattenparker, Turnbeutelvergesser, Warmduscher… (somebody who only parks in the shadow, somebody who forgets their gym bag, somebody who only showers with warm water… the list is endless)
ok so i saw @vicesandvipers daily show au with lams and just had to do an episode for it! I only managed to get the first part but im oddly proud of it so here you go! hope you all enjoy! :D
John takes a deep breath as the countdown to recording ticked down, even with a few years under his belt, it never get less scary. But he loves his job, loves it with an fervor most could only hope for. He is so lucky, especially considering who he had taken over for. Benjamin Franklin was a legend of late night TV for years, and oh the kick he would have gotten over this administration! Washington and his fractured cabinet were something else.
ok but late night talk show host John Laurens who is having a fucking ball poking fun at the washington administration and gets extremely fired up about black lives matter and essentially becomes the smiling, freckled Jon Stewart of late night tv
running jokes in the show include:
• john’s dad think’s he’s a lawyer. shh, nobody tell him
• John Adams Continually Fails To Look Normal In Any Photograph
• george dadington tries to control his administration of arguing five year olds
• alexander hamilton is Literally Still Talking Right Now
• the petition to replace thomas jefferson with a small puppy
• james madison using WebMD at work
• just a simple farmer boy from south carolina
• “more _____ than i have freckles”
• no, angelica schuyler is not yet running for president
• john laurens’ delicate southern sensibilities
and OF COURSE alexander hamilton seeks out any and all mention of himself in mainstream media and gleefully watches just about every episode of john’s show and includes a couple of sly references to it in one of his speeches, and from there it becomes a war of inside jokes and tweeting at each other until finally alex gets interviewed on john’s show and by this point other late night shows are catching on to this, and peggy’s show has an ongoing segment called “Holy Shit, Will You Two Just Kiss and Shut Up Already”
no but after that John and Alex becoming legitimate friends and partners and working together to spread awareness about serious issues (mental health, LGBT+, homeless kids) to the point that john ends up giving a speech at the white house (”In this week’s news: holy shit, i met the president”) and the next running joke on john’s show is that any time alex is brought up, john says “and now to my very good friend, secretary hamilton” complete with suggestive eyebrows
honestly just give me late night tv comedian john laurens
Okay,
so you know what I want to see in the Black Panther movie?
Natasha sparring with one or multiple of T’Challa’s
bodyguards.
Bad guys keep trying to get T’Challa when he’s on diplomatic
trips, but the bad guys keep getting punched in the throat by his bodyguards.
This happens multiple times. The
scene will cut from T’Challa trying to stay awake during a meeting about
embargos or something, to his bodyguards brawling in the parking lot.
T’Challa doesn’t even know there
are bad guys half of the time because that’s how efficient and brutal his
entourage is.
I want at least one Wakandan to watch the news, shake their
head, and say, “What is up with these white people?” But then T’Challa gives
them a really stern look, because he is a righteous and progressive king. I
want the Wakandan to kind of blush and correct themselves with, “Excuse me, I
meant people of European descent.”
Bonus points if this is one of his bodyguards, after seeing
Spiderman doing literally anything.
I want a flashback to Civil War, where T’Challa’s team of
bodyguards are losing their minds. “How do you lose an entire king?!” And the oldest,
wisest, most-done-with-this-shit bodyguard (let’s call her Aunika) just puts on
a pair of shades, and goes, “Where’s the Panther suit? Wow, it’s missing? What
a coincidence.”
She is so done with his shit, she puts a tracking chip under
T’Challa’s skin like he’s a pet labradoodle. And then she puts a tracker on the
suit. And then she puts a tracker on the backup suit he doesn’t think she knows
about. She is too damn old to be running all over the globe trying to protect
this meatball.
And traditionally, the bodyguards aren’t supposed to talk to
anyone except each other and their king, and Aunika is old enough that she
still won’t say anything to the other Avengers. But she will absolutely drag T’Challa’s
ass when they’re alone.
But in, like, a mom way.
T’Challa gets pretty, very young bodyguards, sent from all
over Wakanda, and he’s like, “They’re so smol and precious.” And Aunika is
like, “You’re all literally the same age. Nakia has six inches and thirty
pounds on you.” And T’Challa looks her dead in the face, “So smol. So precious.”
Okay, when Aunika is talking to T’Challa, she is 100%
polite. All the time. But she pulls some wild shit. Like she has new recruits
for the Dora Milaje program prove they can bench press his bodyweight. And they
have to get it right, so he obviously has to be there to get bench pressed. New
recruits have to be able to run a half mile with him in a fireman’s carry, and
in a bridal carry. “Aunika, you never had to do any of this when my father
hired you.” “My king! Are you implying I am just making up new requirements? To
what end? To embarrass you?”
T’Challa goes on an Avenger’s mission and it goes
pear-shaped basically immediately. His bodyguards swoop in, crack the Hydra
base open like an egg, do some quick reconnaissance, pick up the information
the Avengers were supposed to get, and then they wait around. And poor Nakia is
like, “Let’s just grab him and go!” But Aunika is like, “If we rescue him, it’ll
hurt his feelings. We just have to wait for him to get out himself and then we
can act like we just got here, and then we can go.” But Nakia is still like, “Then
why did you tie me to this metal chair?” And Aunika is like, “So he can ‘save’
you.”
Nakia: “Is this because I failed the flight simulator? I can
retake it tomorrow!”
Aunika: “I can’t hear you over the sound of our king
performing a daring rescue. Hello T’Challa. It’s been so long I forgot what you
looked like.”
(That is a dramatic lie. It’s been 24 hours, tops.)
I want Aunika to try to adopt Sam Wilson, to save this sweet
summer child from these white savages. “I mean, these savages of European
Descent.”
Basically, I want 80% of Black Panther to be Serious Plot,
and the other 20% to be his bodyguards dealing with his life decisions.
Even just stick on a few more words at the start or end to clarify
further. I’ve found that if someone mishears you and you repeat the
exact same words, they’re far more likely to continue mishearing the
sentence.
it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
“What was it like seeing all the ancient civilizations rise and all that? Like did you watch the pyramids being built?”
“Nah, i was only born in 1991. But you know what i did see? The development of the technology age. When I was a kid, computers were big, bulky, and overheated constantly. Phones were attached to walls by cords and you didn’t know who was calling. If you connected to the Internet it was through your phone line too, so you couldn’t make calls and surf the net. They were just figuring out all that wireless and portability stuff. Cell phones were the coolest things. They had so many different styles and types until they came out with touch screens on phones. Then they kinda stopped coming out with really different styles.
“There was also this thing called a floppy drive. It was the main stage device but it only held a few mb of data. Then CDs. I remember having a 14 mb flashdrive and being cool cause it held so much.”
“What’s a flash drive?”
“… Memory stick. It was a memory stick.”
“When I was young there was a brick a mortar store where you got movies and games. It was like Netflix, Hulu and Steam put together. We called it: Blockbuster.”
“… what the fuck is a … block … buster?”
“It’s just what we called it. And back then, and remember it was over seven hundred years ago, gays couldn’t get married. Having a gay relationship could get you in big trouble.”
“What? You’re making this up. How could a relationship-”
“It just did. They could fire you from your job. They could kick you out onto the street.”
“But, but! You’d die!”
“They didn’t care.”
“… fuck …”
“And there used to be a place called Florida! It’s underwater now but-”
Canada’s Fort McMurray’s 80,000 residents were forced to seek refuge away from their homes because of the massive wildlife in recent days. The airline West Jet and Canadian North compassionately allowed the residents in dangers to bring their pets in the cabin.
See the photographs of the evacuees below with their multitude of pets in different sizes!
Gosh, see that’s why I love Hardison bc he doesn’t see a problem, he sees a solution. No office? Still feeling a bit insecure about your place in your family and where your family’s relationship is after a trauma?
BUY the building your not-dad person lives in and give Eliot a chainsaw. Where’s that crime against humanity painting? Put it over the mantle or something, it’s beautiful and terrible. Bring in a couple extra fridges bc Eliot refuses to let his gourmet deli meats to be in the same fridge as Hardison’s fifteen 2 liters of orange soda. And Sophie demands something other than coffee and orange soda. Parker just wants a workbench to build rigs(and small explosives).
let’s be real if harry was raised by mcgonagall he would not only be the most badass kid at hogwarts, he would be the most polite, and the sweetest, and would probably have neater hair, not to mention he would most likely kill voldemort at age eleven and still meet minerva for tea with the time to spare
harry: mama, just killed a man minerva: have a biscuit
Okay so, everyone’s written love letters to how good the soundtrack of Hamilton is (and you should listen to it seriously it is fantastic)
But I need to talk for a second about the meta involved in the musical construction.
The main musical genres used in the soundtrack are rap, right? We know that already ‘cause that’s what got everyone’s attention in the first place – a MUSICAL about ALEXANDER HAMILTON casting POC ACTORS in MAIN ROLES and RAPPING????????
But lookit this, the soundtrack isn’t ONLY comprised of rap and R&B numbers.
There is one character in particular who sings a classic musical number like you’d expect from a Broadway show: King George.
So right here you have the Classic Showtune style of King George at odds with the rap/R&B style of the American revolutionaries.
The writer of the show, Lin-Manuel Miranda (In The Heights), has gone on record saying that the reason he chose to do a rap musical is because rap and R&B have been The Music Of The People for the past thirty years.
So right at the start you have the narrative of the young, frustrated, Revolutionaries railing against the Old World Order with new visions of what a country and a government Should be, by pitting the old school idea of what a Showtune is against something that Broadway has never really heard before – at least not this successfully or this completely.
But then you keep going deeper into it, right? Rap has always traditionally been a collaborative effort – there are very few, if any, rap songs out there that don’t have the backing of a chorus, at the very least. It’s just sort of the nature of the genre, no rapper raps alone, they always have support. Likewise, while there are solos in the songs in Hamilton, no character sings entirely alone. They’re either backed up by the ensemble, or they’re joined by one or more of the other characters.
In contrast, King George only sings alone. His songs are entirely just him. There’s no backup singers or anything.
Not until, at the very end of the song and at least one of the reprises, he calls for everyone to sing with him, and even then it’s just a couple of lines of meaningless “dadada da das.” So even where there are other voices singing along, where the Revolutionaries willingly join in of their own volition (either to support or debate, it doesn’t matter), King George’s brief backup is ordered to.
So there you have the Democracy versus Monarchy comparison.
And last but not least.
All of King George’s songs are reprises of the first one. Even after the Revolution is over, you know, he changes up some of the lyrics, but it’s still the same tune.
Because a monarchy by definition is unchanging until the individual monarch’s death, and even then there’s no guarantee because of course they’re usually kept within a family. So a monarchy cannot, by its own nature, have anything new to offer.
I need to go see this showwwwwwwww, everything about it is incredible, but the tickets are sold out for three months straight.
A lot of people have reblogged this post pointing out that “Burn” is a strictly solo piece and therefore doesn’t fit into this theory.
I’ll admit, when I first wrote this, I was in the middle of only my second listen-through, so I was writing mostly off of my impressions of the first listen-through.
I have since listened to it a few more times and specifically went back to “Burn” to double-check what it did.
And, of course, I found that it really was far outside of the structure established with the rest of the soundtrack that I vaguely outlined here (and that a lot of other people have added onto).
My response to that is: Of course it is.
“Burn” exists outside of the structure of the rest of the libretto because … wait for it … she’s taking herself out of the narrative.
You know how some people, when they go through a bad breakup, cut their hair or dye it a wild color, get a piercing, grow a beard? Just something that helps them remove themselves from the person they were while they were in that relationship?
Well, what do you do in a musical where one of the most poignant things is the musical style? You drop it.
Eliza sings by herself, in a style much more reminiscent of Traditional Broadway than anything else in the show (barring King George) because she’s removing herself from the story they were telling.
“Burn” exists outside of the structure of the rest of the libretto because … wait for it … she’s taking herself out of the narrative.
On a meta level, I think the fact that both Lin Manuel Miranda and Leslie Odom Jr. got nominated for Best Lead Actor in a Musical is fucking hilarious.
Aaron Burr will always have to compete with Alexander Hamilton for his accomplishments.
alexander hamilton:
my religious and moral principles are strongly opposed to the practice of dueling, and it would even give me pain to be obliged to shed the blood of a fellow creature in a private combat forbidden by the laws
(5 minutes later)
a group of republicans:
*looks at alex a lil weird*
alexander hamilton:
i will shoot every single one of you in the fucking mouth right now
Okay so I just saw Hamilton yesterday and I’m still kind of in shock of the fact that I actually saw it but I’m gonna tell you guys as much as I can about it. Alright here we go!
•Only 34 of the 46 songs on the album are listed in the Playbill
•It doesn’t include Aaron Burr, Sir, A Winter’s Ball, The Story of Tonight (Reprise), Meet Me Inside, Guns and Ships, What Comes Next?, Cabinet Battle #1, Cabinet Battle #2, I Know Him, We Know, Stay Alive (Reprise), and Best of Wives and Best of Women
•Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story is called Finale in the Playbill
•There was a buttload of applause everytime a new main character was introduced
•In Alexander Hamilton, when Christopher Jackson says “moved in with a cousin, the cousins committed suicide” ensemble member Gregory Haney (I think) stands on a chair center stage and pretends to hang himself
•In Aaron Burr, Sir, when Burr says “talk less” he does little hand movements with it
•All of the beat boxing during the rap sections for Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan is just Hercules banging his fist on the table. During his verse, John takes over
•In My Shot, when Hamilton says “Mr. Lafayette hard rock like Lancelot” he points at himself with a super proud face on
•When Hamilton says “I think your pants look hot” Hercules puts his foot on the bench and swipes back his coat Michael Jackson style to reveal his lovely pants
•Later in the song when they do the “woah woah wooooooooooah…” the Schuyler sisters and some other people are on the bridge and with each “woah” they do a cool mechanical arm thing
•In The Story of Tonight Hamilton says “and when our children tell our story” the person on stage left (I don’t remember if it’s Lafayette of Mulligan) just looks really shocked like he never even thought about having kids
•In The Schuyler Sisters after Burr’s introduction Peggy comes onstage first stomping around like a tiny child and it’s really cute. Throughout the song she gets dragged around by her sisters because she’s a child who cannot be trusted
•At the end of the first chorus and the beginning of when Burr talks again, the rotating stage spins slowly and the sisters all walk in the opposite direction so it looks like they’re actually going somewhere and it’s super cool
•In Farmer Refuted Mulligan says “oh my god, tear this dude apart” to Hamilton and massages his shoulders like a wrestling coach which makes him start walking over to Seabury to speak his mind
•Then Aaron says “let him be” and Hamilton backs down, still looking kind of upset
•After that, Mulligan goes over to him and pats him on the back as a silent prompt to say something to Seabury. Aaron doesn’t see it so he thinks he won’t say anything
•When Alex finally starts talking over Seabury (who’s standing on a little footstool) he just looks really shocked and offended
•Burr is also kind of shocked because he didn’t think Hamilton would do it since he talked to him
•After a little bit, Seabury moves his footstool in front of Hamilton but he steps in front of it
•Then Hamilton gets up on the footstool with Seabury and he’s just so disheveled at this point it’s great
•In You’ll Be Back, everyone has left the stage by the time his song starts and he’s decked out in the entire outfit
•Rory O’ Malley is really good so don’t by salty if you’re seeing him and not one of the other three Georges
•In Right Hand Man when Ham goes “they’re battering down the battery check the damages…etc” He’s walking downstage and Mulligan just follows him for no other reason than to go “brrrrrah”
•When Burr is trying to talk to Washington and then Hamilton comes in, he’s like “as I was saying…” to try and continue the conversation and then G. Wash is just like “close the door on your way out” and Burr’s face just drops
•During Helpless Jasmine and Anthony keep sneaking around and doing cute couple stuff and it’s adorable
•They dabbed in the show. Twice.
•The first time is in Helpless when Hamilton gets the okay from Phillip Schuyler to marry Eliza and he does a happy dance ending in a dab
•In the beginning of Satisfied, John Laurens is just super duper drunk while he’s talking and it makes me laugh but it’s also really sad because it’s kind of a reference to him also loving Hamilton
•Then when they do the whole rewind thing, they actually rewind all of the choreography and lighting cues to get back to that might and it looks SO COOL
•A lot of the stage direction in Satisfied is the same as it was in Helpless which is to be expected but it’s still so crazy to actually watch
•At the end of Satisfied when they go back to the toast, Angelica’s entire attitude is really strained like she wants to be happy but she just can’t
•The pelvic thrust that the gang does is in The Story of Tonight (Reprise) and it starts when Mulligan says “to the newly not poor of us” and he starts the thrust, then Lafayette joins in, and finally Laurens
•Laurens’ voice just completely changes when he says “on the siiiiiiide, Burr” and it’s hilarious
•Aaron goes “she’s married to a British officer” and Alex just goes “oh shit” and it’s completely there and he doesn’t fade away when he says it or anything it’s great
•The choreography in Wait for it is really simple and beautiful and there’s only ever light on Burr
•The first time Ariana DeBose is the bullet is when you hear the gunshot at the beginning of Stay Alive because a British soldier tried to shoot Hamilton but he’s hunched over a letter so the bullet (Ariana) goes right over his head
•Charles Lee is usually played by John Rua which I didn’t know
•Thayne Jasperson is the doctor in all of the duels
•In Meet Me Inside John Laurens says “I’m satisfied” but he still tries to fight Lee and Hamilton has to hold him back
•When Washington says “thank you for your service” he takes off his hat and bows super deeply
•Pippa’s annunciation in That Would Be Enough is On Point™
•At the end of Guns and Ships G. Wash sends a letter to Hamilton and as he’s singing, the letter is taken from the stage right side of the bridge all the way to the left and down the stairs to Hamilton where he reads it and journeys to Washington
•The entirety of History has its Eyes on You is Washington talking to Hamilton
•Laurens killing the British soldier in Yorktown is so great I love it
•The dance sequence in Yorktown is just sO FREAKING AMAZING
•In What Comes Next? People are still exiting the stage from Yorktown and King George keeps running into them with a disgusted look on his face
•King George only has his fun coat robe thingy on in his first song. After that, it’s gone and he becomes more distressed and disheveled with each song that he does
•The setup for Dear Theodosia starts with Burr taking a chair on ½ stage right and standing behind it while he sings in the only pool of light onstage
•When Hamilton starts singing he brings his own chair onstage and stands behind it in the same way as Burr. The light switches to him and it goes out on Burr as he sits down in the chair
•Once Burr starts singing again his light goes back on and Alex sits in his chair
•JOHN LAURENS’ DEATH KILLED ME IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I CRIED DURING THE SHOW AND IT WAS THE SADDEST THING EVER YOU GUYS I DIED
•When Hamilton and Burr are having their midnight conversation in Non-Stop Burr is stage right and the light coming from behind him looks like he opened a door it’s cool
•When Angelica says “don’t forget to write” she’s standing on the outer circle and it rotates away from Alex like she’s going across the ocean and Eliza’s on a different part of the circle so when Angelica rotates away, she rotates to him and it’s really cool
•At the very end of What’d I Miss? Jefferson does a weird flappy arm thing and prances in a wide circle which is why Hamilton does a smaller version of it in Cabinet Battle #1
•G. Wash is a quality MC
•When Hamilton says “while you were off gettin’ high with the French!” Madison gets a coughing fit and has to sit down which causes Ham to turn his debating attention towards him
•There’s an actual piano onstage for Take a Break
•ELIZA’S MATERNAL BEATBOXING OH MY GOD IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
•Angelica and Eliza are super cute together during this song and I love them both so much because they’re super sister-y it’s great
•In Say No to This, part of the set is three lampposts spread out evenly across the outer rotating circle. At the end of the song, Maria, Alexander, and Mr. Reynolds were all standing on the outer rotating circle in roughly the same spots as the lampposts which was really cool
•James Reynolds is wearing a goddamn cowboy hat
•When Hamilton says “stop crying, goddamit, get up” Maria is actually on her knees begging
•The yes exchange between Ham and Maria near the end of the song are supposedly them having sex which makes a lot of sense but she’s literally sitting on his lap and he’s like feeling her up it’s super sexual
•At the end of Say No to This as James Reynolds is walking offstage, he claps his hands once and then Maria looks at him and starts to follow him off, then looks back one more time before exiting. It’s one of the main contributors to me that he was very controlling in the relationship
•When Hamilton says “talk less” in The Room Where it Happens he imitates Burr’s hand movements as well as his voice
•In Washington on your Side, Burr starts the song looking in the direction that Hamilton just went and Jefferson is pretty much like “who the fuck is this boy right here?”
•Madison doesn’t enter for the song until he has to talk and when he does, he’s saying “which I wrote” to some person offstage that we can’t see
•During most of the song there are just spotlights on each of the Southern Motherfuckin’ Democratic Republicans but every time they say “OH” in the song, all of the lights flash for a second and then go away so it’s just the spotlights again
•In I Know Him, Ariana DeBose whispers the name John Adams to King George from kind of far away so he goes “what.” And then she whispers it again so that he can hear it
•I Know Him ends with George sitting on a stool down stage right
•He doesn’t leave until the middle of The Adam’s Administration so in the beginning he’s trying to dance to the song from his stool but it’s in such a different style so it’s hilarious
•Leslie Odom Jr. started laughing when he looked at King George III during the song but he had to keep singing
•In We Know, Jefferson goes “my god” and the expression on his face is so great
•The lighting in Hurricane looks like an ocean and on the outer rotating circle you can see all of the things that happened to Hamilton before he came to America it’s super cool
•In The Reynolds Pamphlet, Hamilton is sitting at his desk center stage while Jefferson is reading out loud down center stage facing the audience and Philip is between them facing his father upstage
•About halfway through Jefferson’s reading, Philip backs into him and they switch places. T. Jeffs hands Lil’ Ham a pamphlet and continues to read it over his shoulder with a grin on his face (he makes sure to point out the “most of them in my own house” part). When he’s done reading, he sends Philip on his way where he looks up at his dad and walks offstage with his head hung low
•T. Jeffs is just bouncing up and down on Hamilton’s desk during the song I don’t know how he bounces so much
•Daveed Diggs as Thomas Jefferson is super bouncy
•There are a lot of happy dances in the show
•Like
•A lot of happy dances
•FUCKING BURN HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE SECOND TIME I CRIED IN THE SHOW
•When Eliza set the letters on fire I was just bawling my eyes out I was a fucking mess during a lot of the second act
•When Philip talks to Eaker during the show there’s an actual show being performed center stage that pauses during their conversation and resumes when it’s over
•George Eaker is a piece of shit.
•George Eaker is a piece of shit.
•I want to strangle George Eaker with my bare hands
•There are sound effects during Stay Alive (Reprise) of blood gushing from a wound and it’s horrifying
•Whenever Philip tries to talk you can hear how much pain he’s in and Anthony Ramos’s acting is so amazing
•Stay Alive (Reprise) was the third time I cried
•Eliza’s scream at the end made me want to curl up into a ball and die
•It’s Quiet Uptown also made me cry
•The lighting completely blacked out center stage during the whole song which made it look like a chasm
•When Madison says “please” in The Election of 1800 he’s wiping his eyes with a handkerchief and it’s so sweet
•Burr hears what everyone is saying about each of the presidential candidates and when the guys say “like you could grab a beer with him” he’s like “yes” but he doesn’t actually say it and he’s does a little fist thingy
•The second dab is in The Election of 1800 when Hamilton promotes Jefferson instead of Burr and he does his own happy dance involving a dab
•While Hamilton’s talking, Burr and Jefferson are standing on different sides of the stage. Burr has a really excited smile and Jefferson has a smug-ass grin
•When Hamilton says “Jefferson has my vote” Burr’s smile slowly turns into a really angry face
•In Your Obedient Servant, Burr sends one paper as his letter. What he gets back from Hamilton is at least five pieces of paper and Burr just looks at them like “good lord Hamilton writes too goddamn much”
•"This man will not make an orphan of my daughter" broke me and I cried for the fourth time during the show
•Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story was just me attempting to process everything that had happened
If you guys have any questions about the show feel free to ask me! My inbox is always open!
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
BURN.
OW OW OW OW.
Well, we just started Blow Us All Away.
It’s been my pleasure to know y’all; I like red flowers, especially roses, so bring those to the funeral.
It’s Quiet Uptown.
In case you were curious.
You have not known guilt until you make your parents cry with a musical you talked them into watching.
YOUR OBEDIENT SERVANT.
First off, I love how passive aggressive this song is, I PASSIONATELY love this song.
But now we’re starting Best of Wives and Best of Women and all bets are right the fuck off.
The
World
Was
Wide
Enough
Okay I’m gonna get the fuck off your dash in just one second but:
All Hamilton wants, through the entirety of his life, is to be remembered. After his death, Eliza does years of work to try to get him remembered. And yet he wasn’t. He vanished. Until recently I couldn’t say word one about Hamilton other than, A, he was on the ten, and, B, he was George Washington’s Secretary of the Treasury. If pressed, I might have been able to remember something about him having had an affair. Out of everything that could have happened to him, that is doubtless the worst, in his opinion. It is, indubitably, a tragedy.
But. Having said that. We remember him now. Someone cared enough to go and dredge up Hamilton’s history and give it to us and say “Look, look, this is someone worth remembering, this is someone who should be in our history, in our culture, in our memory.”
And you know what, fuck me, that’s beautiful. I love humanity.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
BURN.
OW OW OW OW.
Well, we just started Blow Us All Away.
It’s been my pleasure to know y’all; I like red flowers, especially roses, so bring those to the funeral.
It’s Quiet Uptown.
In case you were curious.
You have not known guilt until you make your parents cry with a musical you talked them into watching.
YOUR OBEDIENT SERVANT.
First off, I love how passive aggressive this song is, I PASSIONATELY love this song.
But now we’re starting Best of Wives and Best of Women and all bets are right the fuck off.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
BURN.
OW OW OW OW.
Well, we just started Blow Us All Away.
It’s been my pleasure to know y’all; I like red flowers, especially roses, so bring those to the funeral.
It’s Quiet Uptown.
In case you were curious.
You have not known guilt until you make your parents cry with a musical you talked them into watching.
YOUR OBEDIENT SERVANT.
First off, I love how passive aggressive this song is, I PASSIONATELY love this song.
But now we’re starting Best of Wives and Best of Women and all bets are right the fuck off.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
BURN.
OW OW OW OW.
Well, we just started Blow Us All Away.
It’s been my pleasure to know y’all; I like red flowers, especially roses, so bring those to the funeral.
It’s Quiet Uptown.
In case you were curious.
You have not known guilt until you make your parents cry with a musical you talked them into watching.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
BURN.
OW OW OW OW.
Well, we just started Blow Us All Away.
It’s been my pleasure to know y’all; I like red flowers, especially roses, so bring those to the funeral.
OMG AND CABINET BATTLE #1 like damnnn. I want to see this musical so bad but I'm not willing to sell my vital organs lol
YO ME TOO. Okay, like, I hate Jefferson and have done for years (I am committed to my emotions about historical figures, I’ve hated TJeff for almost as long as I’ve been in love with the Marquis de Lafayette, and I have no regrets). BUT, that said, I love his part in Cabinet Battle #1. And Hamilton’s. But I particularly like the line “Look, when the British taxed our tea, we got frisky; imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whiskey.”
And you know, I don’t feel like selling my vital organs, but if someone’s willing to pay a few grand for an assassin, they could hit me up and I’d be prepared to get the money with someone else’s vital organs, if you feel me.
(In other news, The Reynolds Pamphlet just started and…WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS, HAMILTON. Also, slay him, Angelica, SLAY HIM.)
FAM Yorktown gets me hype. Especially when Hercules comes is. I die every time but i cry literally every time i hear the stay alive reprise, it's quiet uptown, the world was wide enough and who lives who dies who tells your story
OH MY GOD FOR REAL. Yorktown, like, that is my JAM. Also Stay Alive (I like all the…fighty songs, basically, Yorktown, Stay Alive, Guns and Ships, yeah; I am a little too Hamilton for my own health because I am also the sort of person who meets strangers and goes “I punched this person you know, therefore we’re going to be friends.”).
And oh God, the Stay Alive reprise. Do not touch me, I will never be okay, this musical has destroyed my life.
AND. For emotions in the most compact form I’ve ever encountered, Best of Wives and Best of Women might kind of take the cake. It’s so fucking short and yet??? By the end of it, I’m DEAD, I am SLAIN. (Actually, go read the actual letter, it is fucking tragic.) And oh my God, The World Was Wide Enough is just like. NO. I mean, yes, but ALSO NO. This musical, man, this is so fucking distressing.
Like, we’re listening to I Know Him and my parents are cracking up (and so am I, I love King George’s songs) and I’m just like “It goes SO BAD from here, guys, enjoy it while you got it.”
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I’m trying not to think about the upcoming trainwreck now that we just finished Say No to This, SO. It occurs to me that, in Hamilton, basically every female character who appears except Peggy (who…doesn’t really appear) is in love with Alexander Hamilton. AND YET. They still pass the Bechdel test with the very first appearance of the Schuyler sisters.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Update: my mom, like me, is a Gryffindor to the bone. My mom, like me, basically burst into tears during Yorktown (I mean, I burst into tears for me, which was…like…two tears total, but whatever). Why do Gryffindors all cry during Yorktown? is it because we’re all combative victory-loving people? Because that’s my explanation.
I‘m showing my parents Hamilton (well…the soundtrack…because who has money these days) and my mom was crying by the start of Satisfied and I’m just like…can I in good conscience show her It’s Quiet Uptown? I’m gonna have guilt at the end of this.
BUT HAMILTON IS IMPORTANT SO I’M GONNA DO IT ANYWAY.
Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.
Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.
You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.
That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?
do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life
Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.
that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras
Omg I can’t
As a guy I second this.
If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.
I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.
And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan
