Imagine Natasha and Pepper get all the guys together and convince them to make a pin-up calendar for charity.
Steve is the immediate and only choice for July.
Sam Wilson volunteers before all the Avengers even find out about it.
Tony tries to convince them that he should be all 12 months; they let him have December.
When they don’t let him have every month, Tony insists Rhodey needs to be in it somewhere then; he manages to bribe him into it.
Bruce politely declines involvement. Somehow the Hulk ends up on the spread for March.
Clint thinks it’s a nude calendar and shows up with nothing but a bow and quiver. They let him go through with it under the condition that he’s not allowed to go full frontal. — Hawkeye’s majestic buttocks graces the page for May.
Not really knowing what this strange Midgardian custom is, Thor hears about Clint’s bold photo and insists on posing with nothing but Mjolnir. (He makes sure it’s well placed.) (November is a very popular month that year).
Not to be outdone by an archer and a demigod, Tony has his photo redone wearing exactly three pieces of the Iron Man suit. He proclaims there’s nothing half the women of America haven’t seen already.
After that, Tony immediately insists that Steve needs to pose with nothing but the shield. Everyone is astonished when he thinks on it for less than a minute before agreeing. “It’s for charity, right?”
Once Captain America goes for it, no one else can bring themselves to do anything less.
By the end, the entire calendar is full of beautifully photographed artistic nudes of male superheroes.
They make over $2 billion for a collection of their favorite charities.
Mad: #vision is confused but game#he points out he’s #uh #‘fully functional’ #on an as-needed basis #that freaks out the photog though #he poses with just the cape on #bucky insists he’s doing it if steve and sam are #because he’s too stubborn not to #he stares right into the camera #people either really like june or flip past it immediately #pietro’s the only one who doesn’t have a signature accessory to pose with #so he poses in a sprinter’s crouch #not pictured #wanda out of frame #alternately making fun of him and screeching #now everyone can say ‘i’ve gone blind’ in sokovian
NASA scientists have reported that they’ve successfully tested an engine called the electromagnetic propulsion drive, or the EM Drive, in a vacuum that replicates space. The EM Drive experimental system could take humans to Mars in just 70 days without the need for rocket fuel, and it’s no exaggeration to say that this could change everything.
But before we get too excited (who are we kidding, we’re already freaking out), it’s important to note that these results haven’t been replicated or verified by peer review, so there’s a chance there’s been some kind of error. But so far, despite a thorough attempt to poke holes in the results, the engine seems to hold up.
The only important thing that happened during the Dem debate.
He is garbage.
but but but the 1%!!!!!!
Ok hold on, I actually just read the article and it actually seems the people who said “oh he’s garbage” or whatever didn’t actually read what they reblogged.
His plan involves increasing taxes, yes, but he’s also planning to do away with private insurance premiums. You’re actually saving money via that plan, so ultimately better off financially. Put simply, private insurance premium going away means all that money back in your pocket. Then, you pay SOME of that money to taxes. Taxes go up, BUT you’re paying less than you’d have paid the private company. So yes, you’d be paying more taxes, but in total your expenses go down by thousands.
Read the things you reblog, dammit.
Uhhhh
You literally admitted he says he wants to increase taxes.
oh boo hoo, you pay a little bit more in taxes. how else do people expect shit to get done? -_-
… Really?
oh no my taxes are going to be more
and people nationwide will stop suffering from lack of healthcare
and maybe ending poverty will take a step in the right direction
and maybe private insurance companies will stop gouging people
and hey I’ll actually have a net positive after all this since it saves me money in the long run
and hey maybe we’ll be on par with every other 1st world country on the planet
and hey maybe parents will call the hospital when their kids are sick instead of waiting it out because their insurance rates are too much for them to afford
but
oh no my taxes are going to be more
Same rhetoric as obamacare. Premiums are up, coverage is down, but hey. At least everyone….no wait.
Government run healthcare is the biggest croc of idiocy alive today. Medicare, medicaid, obamacare, all failures. All dying. But juuuuuust one more right? This time it will work!
so what r ur opinions on minecraft?
So… The NHS…
Guys, Sanders is asking for a 2.2% health care tax hike to cover health care costs. If your household is earning $70k a year, that’s $1,540 a year in extra taxes.
There will also be a payroll tax levied on employers of 6.7%. Assuming the entire cost is passed on to workers (and I guarantee you it won’t be - customers will also pick up part of the tab), that’s an extra $4,690, bringing the total to $6,230 a year.
Obamacare average household premiums were about $16,800 in 2015, and are still rising. That’s at least 2.7 times higher than the tax hike (a highly conservative estimate), and will probably be higher as health care costs continue to rise.
You will not need to pay for premiums in a single payer system. You’re literally saving over thousands of dollars a year if you’re a middle class citizen, and even more if you’re a working class citizen.
There are plenty of other examples of nations that have implemented a single payer system, and their citizens are paying significantly less than Americans.
ALSO. The generally used cut-off for ‘middle class’ in political debates is a person making $250,000 a year. Are any of you even fucking CLOSE to that? ‘Cause I kind of doubt it. By that definition someone can ‘raise taxes on the middle class’ and still not raise the taxes of 99% of the people I know. So when someone mentions ‘middle class’, you damn well need to ask what numbers they’re using. It’s totally possible that they’re not talking about and yours at all. The tax code certainly makes a distinction between those of us making under $50k and those making over $200k, and so would Sanders’ plan!
I live in Australia and I had to have a brain tumor removed a few weeks ago and I know for a fact, because of the research I did prior to my surgery, that if I lived in a country without significantly subsidised health care I would not even know I was sick, because American doctors do not recommend an MRI for people presenting with my symptoms – because of the cost.
I would literally be fucking dying if not for government run health care. Everyone against it can shut the fuck up forever.
slightly higher taxes so everyone–literally everyone–can access higher education and healthcare??? i don’t understand why or HOW people are angry about this
Oh look it’s communismkills being wrong again like in almost every post they’ve ever written
tl; dr: “Increasing tax on the middle class–which most people are not part of–to save money for everybody.”
don’t forget to register to vote before February. millenials are the largest age group rn but we’re the smallest group to actually vote. ik you think your vote doesn’t matter, but it really does esp when you add all of us up. voting is super important, especially if you don’t want a republican run congress. you might not want to do jury duty if you register, but voting is sooo important. pls register to vote. it’s your right to vote, and honestly, if you don’t vote, then you have no right to complain about politics/who’s president bc you did nothing to change it (as long as you’re 18+ by the deadline)
Phalanx warfare often resulted in the two opposing ranks each veering off towards their respective left as each soldier tried to huddle under their neighbour’s shield, with the result that if the officers weren’t careful they could charge and completely miss the enemy because they’d huddled off in different directions.
Among other things, Caesar Augustus’s sumptuary laws outlawed end tables. Apparently having things in easy reach when you were sitting down was too luxurious.
The Catalogue of Ships in Book 2 of the Iliad mentions a delegation from Athens, even though Athens hadn’t been founded at the time the sack of Troy would have taken place. This surely has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Athens was where the Iliad was first written down.
Herodotus is sometimes frighteningly accurate for a man whose approach to documenting history was to ask as many blokes in as many pubs as possible about what had happened and then write down the consensus. Only sometimes, though.
The first part of initiation into the Eleusinian Mysteries involved carrying a live piglet down to the sea and bathing with it. Piglet sales spiked in Athens every year because of this, and the city occasionally suffered a piglet shortage.
(It is unknown whether or not participants were allowed to stun their piglets for easier transport.)
friend: im so glad i met you… you’re so fun to talk to! i love talking to you…
me, to myself: no. you fool. its the other way around. i, in fact, am the one who is glad to have met you. i am overjoyed in your presence. do not say that you enjoy talking to me more.
adults:
college 2 expensive??? just apply 4 scholarships!! it's that easy!! apply to every singl one and u can pay 4 the college, ur just a lazy millennial (:
scholarships:
$500 Scholarship, must be grad student majoring in neurobiology, must provide SSN, very large essay, impressive resume, published work and research, birth certificate, organ donor, ran a marathon. also ur competing against 2 million other students, good luck!!
tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.
“sir or ma'am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”
“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”
“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”
“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”
whenever I feel bad about having a weird name I remind myself that C.S. Lewis’ middle name was Staples
When I was a kid, one of my family members quoted the first line of Dawn Treader—“There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it"—and I said, “Brave words from a man whose name was Clive Staples Lewis,” and my mom lost it.
god damn it Han Solo is not some smooth ladies man or even some legendary cool smuggler dude like Han Solo is literally an enormous dork with no talent besides a pretty face and a way with words who is constantly in over his head & trying to look like a mega cool kid but the mega cool kid is 100% an act
Like literally every Han Solo scene can be summed up as either *internal screaming* or “idgaf wait yes god sorry yes i gaf but please pretend I didn’t say so I’m cool dammit I’m mega cool”
And that’s why he’s perfect & great
#like I’m p sure he won the falcon by accident#and if he really did make the kessel run super fast that was also an accident#can he even actually fly or is chewie just kind of doing it for him and sighing a lot#Han Solo#we just don’t know#he is literally just making up half the shit that happens as he goes along and is constantly surprised by not being dead#he’s that one D&D player who doesn’t plan or listen to the other players plans and just kinda charges in yelling but somehow constantly rolls 20s and everyone is like h o w
@the Star Wars fandom: I’d like to throw my two cents in on the whole “Leia was never even tempted by the Dark Side” trend that is seemingly going on right now. Firstly, yes, I understand the joke–gosh darn those whiny Skywalker boys, the girls are so tough and strong (and they are, they absolutely are, don’t get me wrong). But…all the same, guys, I just can’t see it that way. This girl wasn’t just tempted by the Dark Side, she flirted with it on like a daily basis for probably years (both before and after she knew what it was). I mean:
Leia Organa burns with anger. She was horribly, incalculably hurt, more than once, and one of the ways she coped with that was by being angry. (In fact, Carrie herself has described Leia as such, and as having played Leia as such–as a very wounded and broken girl who is incredibly, incredibly angry.) And as we know, according to the Jedi:
“Fear leads to anger Anger leads to hate Hate leads to suffering”
But that doesn’t make Leia any the weaker for it. In fact, I would even say that it goes to show just how strong she was. Because yes she was hurt. (She was hurt so, so badly, so many times.) She had every right to be angry, and hurting–and she did. She was angry. She did hurt. And it would have been so, so easy for her to give into the temptation of the Dark Side through that. Because of that. Because there are so very, very many kinds of temptation–and honestly, with Leia’s anger being such an integral part of her and part of her main coping mechanism, I personally can’t see Leia not being tempted by the Dark Side for years–since before she even knew it was truly a Thing, let alone that it had a name. Because oh, how easy it would have been for her anger to consume her–for her rage and her hatred to supplant all else, until she was nothing but a driving force of nature, a wildfire bound in human flesh that burned all in her path.
But you know what? She didn’t fall. Despite everything, Leia Organa did not fall. And that, to me, shows an incredible strength–one that supercedes even a claim that she was never tempted. (Because to me, saying that she was never tempted strips her of the fury of her wrath, the burning of her pain, the blazing of her power. Because to me that says she wasn’t wounded in the very soul by what happened to Alderaan, to her mind beneath Vader’s probe, to her heart again and again–and she was. Oh, she was. Because to me, taking away Leia’s anger and the rawness of her hurt means taking away what made her such a real character, a real woman, a real survivor.)
Ironically enough, it was love that brought her back from that possible path, just as it brought Vader back from the brink. Because I would eat my left shoe if it wasn’t Luke and Han, Chewie, Threepio and Artoo who kept her grounded, kept her here, gave her something other than anger and fear and hatred and revenge to live for.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents on the matter,
Thank you, Seren. I wish I could find the article now, but there was a good write-up on women being allowed to be portrayed as monsters rather than the virtuous heroine or the victim. We all have a dark side, a dangerous streak. To deny that women have the capacity for evil is to deny that they are fully human.
Leia Organa has indeed flirted with the dark side. She is still fighting the good fight when we see her in TFA but I don’t think that her inner battle is over and her victories have not come easily. Leia has straddled the line between dark and light a few times, but ultimately clawed her way back to the light before she could be consumed by the darkness. Let’s giver her credit for struggling against her demons, rather than treating her as an empty, innately good character.
When Leia speaks of Snoke’s influence over Ben, you can see on her face that she has empathy for her son. She was disgusted with Vader, she didn’t want to understand him, but she has walked a long road with Ben and the appalling things he does do not shock her, she gets it.
This is a woman who has done a lot of growing in order to overcome her darker tendencies and it is a battle that she must engage in daily.
Everyone please sit down and be schooled by Seren. Girl knows her Leia meta.
Will you please me a funny story? I got dumped yesterday, and I think a story will make me feel better
oh man. listen, @theworldasweknowit16 first of all, as evidenced by the fact that i am only answering this now, i hope that someone way funnier and WAY better at managing their inbox was able to make you laugh when you needed it. hopefully by this point you don’t even need dumb, tardy ol’ molls ofgeo who has turned up to her own comedy special 25 minutes late with a box of donuts and gets belligerent with the audience when they don’t appreciate her turning all the lights off and making them watch all 8 episodes of the blue planet, consecutively.
“THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!! SHUT UP AND LET DAVID ATTENBOROUGH TALK!!!!“ - me, almost certainly getting fired and definitely not getting any royalties
anyway, the point is, i’m very sorry that your relationship ended. that sucks, buddy. for what it’s worth, i think there are bigger things out there for you. single or doubled up, i think you’re gonna be amazing.
ANYWAY, i don’t have any funny, like, ~breakup stories~ because although i know this will come as a shock to all of you, since i am incredibly charming and not at all neurotic, i haven’t had that many relationships that were serious enough that somebody needed to like, Officially End them??
that being said, i have seen destruction in my time, so this story is about the time @urgirlmontana and i walked in on a robbery-in-progress and tried to buy some wine.
so the thing you have to know about me is that fundamentally, to my core, the only thing i really want out of life is to never be gauche or rude, ever, ever. every single one of the mistakes that haunt my dreams are times where i blithely said or did something that violated a rule i didn’t know or maybe just forgot.
i live in constant fear of getting sent to the Principal’s Office of Life, where i imagine an old lady with all of the characteristics of a cat i once had (half an ear, a snaggletooth) makes me sit in detention highlighting all the parts of Emily Post that i don’t have memorized.*
*so like, all of Emily Post. what was the final word about elbows on the table?
the other thing you have to know about me is that i really, really love wine.
luckily for me, there is a convenience store within a couple blocks of where i live that sells two of my favorite things: junk food and wine. and it’s not like i live in a bad part of chicago; like, chicago is chicago but i live in a pretty quiet neighborhood. i mean, i know the neighborhood dogs by name, you know what i’m saying?
my favorite is named maggie she’s a black lab she loves me and if there was a god she would be mine. i mean–what?
haha.
just jokes.
my point here is i never think twice about leaving my house at night to pop to the store or go for a walk or go to this all-night diner place that is like, for sure gonna give me some kind of terrible disease but makes surprisingly good milkshakes. and i extra never think twice if i have someone with me! it’s the buddy system! nothing ever goes wrong when you use the buddy system.
literally the only child at that summer camp NOT destined to die in a terrible water-related accident. DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM THE MANDATORY SCREENING OF THE BLUE PLANET?
so off we go to purchase our late-night booze & candy–my candy vice of choice at the time was a 3 Musketeers bar–and the short but brisk walk gave me just enough time to like, really get into the zone in terms of thinking about the food i was going to get. like you know when you’re preparing to buy candy and even thought you’re a grown ass adult who can spend however much you want to on whatever the hell you want to, there’s still that tiny voice in the back of your head that sounds like your mom that’s like you can get ONE of those ten candy bars in your hand?
anyway, we get to the store and when we walk in there’s a guy standing right in front of the door. he’s got his arm extended and he’s holding on to another guy who is also standing in front of the door, and honestly, my first reaction was like, “rude??? this is an entryway and an exit??? move like 7 inches to stand in front of the cheese.”
except don’t stand in front of the cheese. i may want some of that later.
my second reaction was: wow, that dude is covered in blood.
now, you would THINK that at this point, my third thought would be something along the lines of, “ABORT ABORT ABORT,” but because of that thing where i never want to be rude to anybody, ever, i instead panicked about Blood Guy noticing me staring at him. so i averted my eyes and skittered past them pretending like i hadn’t noticed.
“HAHA, BLOOD? WHAT BLOOD? I DIDN’T SEE ANY BLOOD. I WAS LASER-FOCUSED ON THIS SHIRAZ.”
when we got to the back of the store where the wine was–and i would like to say, in our defense, nobody actually IN the store at ANY point was like, “don’t come in, we’re busy robbing this establishment,” or even, “if you’re going to be here you have to contribute.” they just sort of let us go to the back of the store and loudly debate what kind of wine we wanted.
while montana read off labels and prices, i wandered up the candy aisle, thinking to myself that i was soooo great for letting that guy bleed without staring at him or making him uncomfortable. like, we’ve all bled profusely in convenience stores before, haven’t we? no need to make him feel uncomfortable.
“um,” montana said suddenly.
“what?”
she pointed. the entire front of the store looked like it had been the victim of the home alone kid. shelves were upended, that weird vat of soup i don’t trust was splashed everywhere, and the very sweet young man who works the register was standing kind of frozen behind the counter, alternating looking at Blood Guy and then back at us.
nobody said anything. it was like all five of us realized at the same time that we had walked in and not noticed what was happening. but like!!! who eXPECTS A ROBBERY? nobody expects a robbery. that’s why they’re effective!!!!
“i don’t…think they’re going to let us buy wine,” said montana.
here’s the thing: how do you get out of a store that’s being robbed but doesn’t…seem interested in robbing you? well, i don’t know what Emily Post would tell you to do, but what we did was put the candy and wine back (IN THEIR PROPER PLACE, because we’re not assholes) and just……excused ourselves.
literally, we just walked back to the door, told everybody goodnight, and left. and like, they let us go? nobody stopped us? i’m pretty sure the sweet boy that mans the register said “have a nice night”?
“so…….wanna go somewhere else?” i asked as a police car pulled up and two cops ran into the store.
“sure,” montana said. “i could go for some pop tarts.”
Every time I read that post about doing things out of spite I remember that C. S. Lewis put that fucking street lamp in Narnia because Tolkien once said that no good fantasy story would have a lamp in it.
Also, in case anyone was curious, Lewis and Tolkien were like…strange bitter author buddies, and Tolkien complained about the heavy-handedness of Narnia’s Christian metaphor, and Lewis complained about EVERYTHING in LotR, basically, and they wrote each other into their stories. According to most reports, the man who carved the Wardrobe was heavily based on Tolkien, and in Middle-Earth C.S. Lewis became (wait for it) Treebeard. Which I imagine was a very interesting conversation.
“You’re the magician who builds a wardrobe leading to Narnia!” “You’re a thing called an Ent that shepherds trees and takes years to make a decision.” “….what the fuck.”
And as far as doing things for spite goes, I can think of at least two major plot points in LotR that only exist because Tolkien was bitter about Macbeth. My takeaway from this would be that if the only thing keeping you going is Sheer Undiluted Bitterness, you’re in good company.
i know literally nothing about great gatsby but i know tumblr and with that knowledge i am 500% sure that jay gatsby hits some motherfucker with his car
Poe hanging around two giant space puppies more often than not, but being completely blindsided when Jess refers to Rey and Finn as his. And then smirking and thinking “damn right they are.”
Finn not being terribly bothered by how strict his doctor and nurse are, because they’re not mean, and it’s structure. He’s free, but he needs that structure now that he’s not running on sheer adrenaline and while trying to find his fit with the Resistance. He can’t break a lifetime of habits in a few weeks, but he can take baby steps.
Poe having low key nightmares about Kylo Ren violating his mind, and waking up to find Rey standing over him. He accidentally kicks her in the gut the first time and it’s all a big mess, but eventually he just gets used to waking up to her being there and she gets it.
Finn making friends with Snap Wexley and Admiral Statura, first because they’re going over the information Finn can give them and cataloging this knowledge, and then because Snap gets the bright idea to teach Finn how to play poker. “You have your people, and then you have your poker buddies, Finn. And your poker buddies will make sure Poe doesn’t fleece you for the shirt off your back, the rotten shark.”
Snap introducing Finn to fire whiskey.
Poe laughing at Finn’s first hangover, but then getting him a painkiller and cuddling with him.
Finn trying sugary foods for the first time and loving them.
Snap realizing he can bribe Finn with candy, and ruthlessly exploiting it to win his prank war with Poe.
Poe teaching Finn to kiss, because his guy is ridiculously eager, but ridiculously awful at it. Not that Finn would have had a lot of time to practice in the First Order. Besides, Poe might have a teeny, tiny possessive streak, and be stupidly pleased he gets to teach him.
Rey being so absorbed with her Jedi training, and trying to figure out the Force and “be at one with it”, that it takes Poe and Finn some time to realize she has some capital I issues.
Poe and Finn not figuring out two of these Issues until they’re sent on a rescue mission with her, Snap, Jess Pava, and fellow First Order deserter, Officer Phasma, to bust out Admiral Akbar. Namely that A) Rey can’t swim AT ALL and they crash land in a lake, and B) Rey is utterly ill-equipped to deal with the winter planet they’re on. (Which really, they should have thought about this sooner.)
This leads to a comedy of errors where Jess and Phasma have to go free the Admiral and rendezvous with them at the exit point, and Snap and Finn securing the exit point while Poe has to get Rey across that channel, clinging to his back like a baby monkey because the water is deep and there’s only a tiny underwater ledge they can inch by on, and she’s terrified. (And hypothermic and turning an alarming shade of blue.)
Finn, however, is very gallant and dashing and being an utter boss in making sure the exit gets secured and Poe and Rey are safe. Poe’s not even going to lie, he’s very turned on.
Rey being utterly mortified once they get back to base, and Finn refusing to let her be embarrassed, because he’s learned that’s what a team and a family are for. Covering your back when you’re down.
Finn learning astromech so he can understand what BB-8 keeps saying, but refusing to give up their special thumbs up signal. Poe realizes he’s about to be in trouble when he walks in on the two of them doing that.
Lt. Connix and Jess taking Rey out on leave trips, because Rey needs friends and Rey is a big dumb space puppy who hasn’t realized that Finn and Poe are not just friends, and that maybe she needs people to talk it out with that aren’t a Jedi master or the objects of her affections.
Rey can drink them both under the table, because the only alcohol back “home” was the equivalent of 100 proof moonshine, and you have to get used to it early.
Then they realize she doesn’t even know she’s been given an account with credits.
Lt. Connix and Jess realizing Rey might have an Issue about food, because she uses all of her credits to buy packs of really awful food rations, and she gives them out to people she cares about.
Poe and Finn have several packs of awful food rations, but they eat them proudly because they realize Rey is a big dumb space puppy and giving food is the highest form of showing affection she knows.
Poe was so very wrong. Rey is a ridiculously awful kisser. Still, that means there’s just that much more practice time for him and Finn.
Finn wrangling the other two into bed the way he likes it, so he’s the one facing the door. If someone comes in for them, they’ll have to get through him first. Besides, Rey’s softer, and gets cold at night. And if she’s in the middle, Poe’s arm settles around Finn’s waist at the perfect level that makes him feel safe, too.
Poe realizing that while courting is definitely a thing where he grew up, and with other cultures on the base, Finn and Rey have no clue what it is, and dammit, his dumb space puppies deserve to be courted properly.
i dont know if you’ve been keepin up with the stories in Flint or not but my water deadass looks like this:
and a few friends are buying me bottled water and what not because I can’t use the tap and while I’ve been using it to bathe/wash its gotten to a point where i can’t really just shrug off the patches and shit on my skin. most of the water i’ve previously had i’ve given to my sisters to ensure my baby niece and nephew have access to untainted water for cleaning/bathing, so if you could help out with bottled water or what not i’d really appreciate it, considering it’s getting really hard to get ahold of in my area or what not, or even if you just want to donate my paypal is beiialedge@aol.com, thanks i really appreciate it.
I’m already seeing a lot of portrayals of Finn’s backstory as a Stormtrooper hinging on wanton violence and trauma. But I wonder if anyone has considered that the way Troopers are conditioned might be by an excess of care/attention, not by violence? I mean, we have evidence of that reading in the fact that Finn’s negative reaction is noted and pursued by his commanding officer. That demonstrates a heightened awareness of each of the troopers, not a lack of care. I wonder if maybe the medical care for troopers–as an example–was absolutely the best that money can buy, but not offered with pleasantries. Like, maybe Finn has had medical care thousands of times but usually he was put under sedation at the drop of a hat rather than allowed to stay conscious and engaged with the medical process. Like, maybe the biggest difference between his current medical care and what he experienced as a trooper is that they’re going to explain what they’re doing at every step now and he’s going to have to push himself to heal, not rely on them making it easy on him.
Like, if a trooper got a spinal injury, wouldn’t it make sense for the clearly affluent First Order to simply replace the spine and, like, build new muscle tissue or whatnot, rather than putting a trooper through longterm physical therapy and making him choose which course of treatment he wants.
Also, I think it’s worth thinking about how everything is easy as a trooper, but nothing is personal and that might be another key difference. I totally buy the idea of Finn being chronically touch-starved and unable to assert choices, though. I am loving that trend in the fic. I bet other key differences could include:
now he has to own things and remember where they are. Like, he takes off his shoes outside and then forgets that, you know, they’re his and he has to come back barefoot to find them later
also remembering how stuff belongs to other people too. Like, he doesn’t recognize the gesture as significant when Poe gives him the jacket. It’s not until Poe says it, maybe even later when he thinks about it again, that it’s a gift.
having to remember names is probably very hard. and then finding out people have two names each, that probably frustrates him and blows his mind equally.
it might take him a while to understand how different people’s backgrounds are. like, maybe he assumes everyone knows how to use a lightsaber because Rey was good at it. If Rey knows it, he just assumes everyone knows it. That’s the way it was for troopers: everyone knew exactly the same things. You never chatted about your childhood because it was exactly identical to everyone else’s. He probably grows to really love hearing people talk about their pasts. He probably makes a lot of friends by being just utterly charmed by the most prosaic of stories.
i bet the messiness of the base bothers him. i bet he has to keep telling himself it’s fine that no one has scoured that wall over there, it’s totally fine. because he clearly wants to go find a bucket and a sponge and just bleach the fuck out of that mold.
god, he is actually probably the neatest ever. once he gets a hang of the idea of this being his room, he probably keeps it fucking spotless
Leia has, for various reasons, a very dubious outlook on classic Jedi training methods. This is not just because of various circumstances surrounding her son, she’s had this opinion for many years before his birth. But Luke was insistent when Ben proved Force sensitive and there was nothing Leia could say otherwise that had any documentation, any records, any proof.
(she’s concerned that her use of the Force might be considered Other, or Grey, or Dark)
It’s like this: the Jedi are unsubtle.
It’s like this: Moving a blaster’s nose a half centimeter causes the shot to miss by a feet. It’s much easier to make 5 blasters miss than to throw 5 Stormtroopers backwards.
It’s like this: when Leia speaks, she is Forceful. When she speaks to a room, she starts with nudges to make everyone listen, she slides in quiet elation at her words, she ends with encouraging a feeling of being able to do absolutely anything in the Universe.
And she lets her speech carry out the rest of the details, rather than her Force, she lets her people decide how to act, she lets choice finish their decisions and these decisions and choices lasts longer when she leaves the room than if she simply Forced someone to say, “I will do as you command.”
(she takes after her mother, she hears)
Leia wonders if that was how Palpatine caused her father to go Dark, and remains quiet when Luke trains her son.
And when Ben turns, she feels the reverberations, and can’t find it in her to blame Luke for it entirely.
(she wonders if she should have Spoken, or if it would have made things worse)
[[[because lol]]]
The base is collapsing around their ears, their TIE fighters are falling from the sky, and That Girl has come back with That Lightsaber and more training and for the life of him Kylo cannot hold his ground against her so he’s running but those are things he’s not examining too closely. Instead:
“HIGHLY TRAINED FIGHTERS, he says,” Kylo swears under his breath and dodges around more Stormtroopers, hoping they’d stall his pursuit. The Force tells him they don’t do a damn thing. “PICKED from a YOUNG AGE, he says, BETTER than CLONES, he says, THEN WHY CAN’T YOUR STORMTROOPERS HIT THE BROADSIDE OF A DEATHST–”
Hux suddenly skids to a stop. “She’s here.”
“WHO’S HERE?!”
“I don’t know what she has, the scientists can’t figure it out but when she’s around,” Hux staggers, panting, “at this point, no one can aim straight if she’s even on the same planet, let alone the same room and–”
“WHO?!” Kylo reaches out and grabs Hux by the throat, pulling him to his toes. “GIVE ME A NAME.”
A throat clears behind him.
“Ben,” His mother says.
Kylo freezes.
“Put that back where you found it. We need to talk.”
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. How else HOW ELSE I ASK YOU could a whole pack of storm troopers fire down a narrow hallway and hit nobody?
This is EXACTLY how I picture LEIA’S abilities holy shit good shit wow A+++ I want to write this a million times and have everyone write Leia like this.
@darkthestars I feel like you might be interested in this
(One fun part is that this was a totally thing in the old EU (And may even be a thing now- the first of the FFG RPGs post-Disney has it as an option.)
Jedi can aid and direct their side in battle. If they’re good, strong enough, they can affect things on a planetary scale, making everyone on their side better and more coordinated. A true master of the technique could make a bunch of peasant farmers taking up arms against a tyrant fight every bit as well as she can. Thing is, you’ve got to be careful, or your override their wills completely, and things fall apart if you get taken out- there’s some theories that this is why the Imperial fleet went to pieces so fast at Endor after the Emperor’s death, far faster than word of his demise could have spread.
Using it to throw off your enemy’s aim, to make them mishear orders or fire at things that aren’t there would just be an application of the same technique, only applied defensively rather than offensively, and really, isn’t that what a Jedi’s supposed to do?
It’s called Battle Meditation and it’s one of the rarest, most prized and most useful jedi abilities. Individuals with this ability change the outcomes of wars, they generally lead from the front and the only other jedi with this power that I know is a woman.
If Leia is some kind of Battle Meditation Savant then for one it would make her vastly more powerful than Anakin was ever displayed to be (at most he had very advanced precognitive abilities, common to all jedi). It would also explain exactly how the fuck ewoks triumphed over the best imperial regiment available, simply by virtue of the greatest display of force ability in known history.
“Hold me in the holy space
between clasped fingers:
yours and mine.
Let me be the trembling breath,
let me spin salvation off my tongue,
at least let me try.
I don’t know much about
being divine. But I know right now–
this crowded apartment,
your feet propped up on my thighs.
I don’t know gospel, but I know
what your body feels like
from inside.”—PRAYER BOOK, by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)
I just imagined Sirius being called out to sorting and the hat getting ready to shout SLYTHERIN! almost before even touching one of Sirius’ hair - just like it has done for every Black and Malfoy for centuries- and then suddenly all he hears is this eleven year old thinking “Don’t you fucking dare”
Luke:
Rey while I understand the desire to experiment and outdo Kylo Ren could you perhaps stick to a lightsaber staff? A lightsbaer trident is just .....wrong
Luke:
Rey when I told you about my training with Master Yoda I did not mean that you should do the same things. Could you please let me down before I break a hip. I am not a young man anymore
Luke:
While I am both proud and very disturbed that you managed to discover Force Lightning on your own could you please not use it to cook sausages? We have a perfectly good fire
Luke:
While I understand your anger at the Senator after the way he insulted Leia you cannot use the Force to make him punch himself and then gleefully ask " Why are you punching yourself" This is not how a Jedi is supposed to act
Luke:
I agree that it's effective but in an honorable duel a Jedi is supposed to use The Force and their lightsaber to defeat their opponent not land mines
Luke:
I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK THEY ARE ADORABLE! SPIDERS ARE NOT SUITABLE PETS REY! OH GOD THEY ARE IN MY ROBES. GET THEM AWAY FROM ME
Luke:
Rey we are facing a Sith Lord! Now is not the time to make fun of Supreme Leader Snoke's name. Rey stop laughing
“‘I’ve spoken with Disney people, and they were completely blindsided by the reaction to the new Star Wars characters,’ Marcotte went on to say. ‘They put a huge investment into marketing and merchandizing the Kylo Ren character. They presumed he would be the big breakout role from the film. They were completely surprised when it was Rey everyone identified with and wanted to see more of. Now they’re stuck with vast amounts of Kylo Ren product that is not moving, and a tidal wave of complaints about a lack of Rey items.’”—
The interesting thing about this to me (though entirely anecdotal) is that I’ve spoken to a lot of different people about the new movie. Among my friend group and sort of casual folk, men and women alike, people generally responded well to all characters, with maybe slight preference for Rey or Poe.
Among the Hollywood working men I’ve talked to: Kylo Ren. Unanimously, no question.
Which has interested me for many different reasons and will continue to be something I puzzle out but I can’t help but specifically with this, if true, wonder: To what extent are these decisions about what kids want being made purely from the perspective of a very specific subsection of society?
You know, I went to see TFA completely fresh-faced regarding Star Wars. I only saw the prequels as a kid when I understood shit of what was happening. Never saw the original trilogy. All I knew of Star Wars I picked up by pop culture osmosis.
And Kylo Ren did NOTHING for me. NOTHING. I didn’t care about him. I really didn’t. The hell did I know of this kid? Do I have any idea why he went to the Dark Side? None whatsoever. He wants to be like his evil grandparent, okay…. why, exactly? What does he want? What the fuck is he upset about?
Rey and Finn I got. Rey and Finn they explained to me. Rey and Finn they made me care about. The only reason I had to be invested in Kylo Ren was his parents, but his parents meant nothing to me.
So aside from what’s carried over from the other Star Wars movies, I literally see NO reason why Kylo Ren is interesting or appealing. None. At all. And THAT’s the guy they expected me to be excited about? (If this is true)
Leia has, for various reasons, a very dubious outlook on classic Jedi training methods. This is not just because of various circumstances surrounding her son, she’s had this opinion for many years before his birth. But Luke was insistent when Ben proved Force sensitive and there was nothing Leia could say otherwise that had any documentation, any records, any proof.
(she’s concerned that her use of the Force might be considered Other, or Grey, or Dark)
It’s like this: the Jedi are unsubtle.
It’s like this: Moving a blaster’s nose a half centimeter causes the shot to miss by a feet. It’s much easier to make 5 blasters miss than to throw 5 Stormtroopers backwards.
It’s like this: when Leia speaks, she is Forceful. When she speaks to a room, she starts with nudges to make everyone listen, she slides in quiet elation at her words, she ends with encouraging a feeling of being able to do absolutely anything in the Universe.
And she lets her speech carry out the rest of the details, rather than her Force, she lets her people decide how to act, she lets choice finish their decisions and these decisions and choices lasts longer when she leaves the room than if she simply Forced someone to say, “I will do as you command.”
(she takes after her mother, she hears)
Leia wonders if that was how Palpatine caused her father to go Dark, and remains quiet when Luke trains her son.
And when Ben turns, she feels the reverberations, and can’t find it in her to blame Luke for it entirely.
(she wonders if she should have Spoken, or if it would have made things worse)
[[[because lol]]]
The base is collapsing around their ears, their TIE fighters are falling from the sky, and That Girl has come back with That Lightsaber and more training and for the life of him Kylo cannot hold his ground against her so he’s running but those are things he’s not examining too closely. Instead:
“HIGHLY TRAINED FIGHTERS, he says,” Kylo swears under his breath and dodges around more Stormtroopers, hoping they’d stall his pursuit. The Force tells him they don’t do a damn thing. “PICKED from a YOUNG AGE, he says, BETTER than CLONES, he says, THEN WHY CAN’T YOUR STORMTROOPERS HIT THE BROADSIDE OF A DEATHST–”
Hux suddenly skids to a stop. “She’s here.”
“WHO’S HERE?!”
“I don’t know what she has, the scientists can’t figure it out but when she’s around,” Hux staggers, panting, “at this point, no one can aim straight if she’s even on the same planet, let alone the same room and–”
“WHO?!” Kylo reaches out and grabs Hux by the throat, pulling him to his toes. “GIVE ME A NAME.”
A throat clears behind him.
“Ben,” His mother says.
Kylo freezes.
“Put that back where you found it. We need to talk.”
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. How else HOW ELSE I ASK YOU could a whole pack of storm troopers fire down a narrow hallway and hit nobody?
This is EXACTLY how I picture LEIA’S abilities holy shit good shit wow A+++ I want to write this a million times and have everyone write Leia like this.
be someone’s counselor and help them with all their problems if its bad for your mental health
be there for someone 24/7
remain friends with someone who emotionally drains you
maintain negative relationships because you’ve been close for so long, because you’re related, or anything else
do anything that makes you unhappy or puts your health at risk
This is so so so important and I took far too long to realise it and I know it’s tricky but cutting people out who aren’t good for you is the best thing you can do for yourself
