i work as a barista & people tell me all the time that The Drinks Got Gender. Thats A Lady Coffee, people try to say
its fucking bean water
can’t believe i can’t just reply to this but: maybe they’re actually telling you that this coffee has an important status. Lady Coffee
oh shit i was in the presence of bean water royalty oh fuck i must have looked like such a rube. such a fool.
what the fuck does this post mean ive been trying to decipher its hieroglyphic encrypted message but i cant
“From a deconstructionist stand point, I have to disagree with a large portion of the customers that I, a humble barista tend to each day. The assertion that certain coffee drinks are more suitable for one gender or another is folly. For as we know: 1. gender is a social construct, & 2. coffee of any type is simply hot water strained through roasted beans, & has no greater affect on either culturally assigned sex.”
“What ho, kind friend! Is it not unfortunate that I cannot simply reply to this post, & most reblog it? What a farce, this blue website! Ah, but I digress: what if perhaps your customers were not asserting not the suitability of the drink for a given gender, but rather indicating some matter of status? Perhaps the coffee is possessing of a high rank in society. This is of course my purely grammatical viewpoint on the subject.”
“Oh, damnation! This does in fact seem much more likely than my own ludicrous assumptions, & I was no doubt in the presence of roasted bean royalty! Some emissary from foreign soil! Curses! What a country bumpkin I’ve made myself out to be!!”
“Six people find out why making deals with gods is a bad fucking idea”
“Child attempts to save various gods and humanity from ancient evil; ancient evil is only somewhat impressed”
“Bond girl becomes too gay to function.”
A schizophrenic prophet and her LGBT friends sacrifice Straight Larry to zombies
a gay bunny flies around after the only city in the world blows up
You have my attention
Angry smol elf teams up with grumpy tall elf to fight aforementioned grumpy tall elf and bring him to justice for crimes against humanity.
Ohh, so many!
“A mage and a cat-boy walk a lost star home.”
“Man with amnesia looks to regain memories with the help of a sarcastic scarf.”
“A group of disappointments try to become less so.”
“Two plants try to save the world.”
“Why am I doing this, I don’t even want to be a princess, I hate you all!”
“A group of gay adults with powers decide to destroy oppressive government.”
“A halfling teenager, her werewolf girlfriend, and their pack protects their town.”
“The fates reborn decide it’s time to fuck up Olympus.”
“Everyone is unreliable,” or “A diverse group of young adults and their parents have their lives fucked up by a serial killer and each other.”
“Dealing with grief by fucking your teacher is so not a good idea”
In which a collection of assorted and diverse magical beings come to terms with the fact that politics will fuck you up; also everyone is LGBT because curiosity>medieval hangups after a few hundred years.
Or if that’s not your taste: In which angels are a thing that happened around 1947 and just kind of never left; also everyone is LGBT because fuck you I do what I want.
OR: In which cities are sentient and like to fuck with their citizens; also everyone is LGBT because LITERALLY WHY NOT.
do you think after Ron and Hermione got out of the trapdoor and raised the alarm and were being patched up in the hospital wing
do you think they were given the most royal proud mama smackdown by McGonagall like “ how DARE you infiltrate a death maze you are ELEVEN and miss granger how on earth did you solve my chessboard i”
and hermione interjected like “oh professor it wasn’t me. i’m useless at chess. it was ron.”
and McGonagall turned to look at Ron Weasley in total amazement at this 11 yr old kid who had been pretty ordinary in all her classes but had apparently beaten her in death chess and he just shrugged like “rookie mistakes, professor. you made some rookie mistakes.”
i support girls anger. i support girls who yell. i support girls who get called bitches and cunts at parties because they’ll swear at guys who won’t leave them alone. i support girls who don’t believe in second chances and cut off people who hurt them. i support girls who say no the first time and flip you off if you ask them again. i support girls who will never allow themselves to be pushovers and constantly get shit for it. you’re fucking incredible.
dude u cant be for real ….yes bc you *need* to especially for certain food…its like heating a skillet before using it….. if not ur food will be all fuckd up and cook unevenly and i jus…t i cant…. i mean….. i used to work in a kitchen and am a waitress now and i… i cant believe ppl r reblogging this….unless they are 13 years old and have never cooked or baked before.
Look at your wrist, see the blueish veins? The blood flowing through them contains hemoglobin, a protein that has four iron atoms incorporated into its structure. Iron is only naturally produced in one place, it can only be forged in the core of dying stars.
Every time you look at your veins, remember that you are built from, and kept alive by, pieces of stardust.
This is actually a thing, to the very best of my knowledge! Iron might not be only produced in the heart of a star on its way to going supernova (I would need someone with, y’know, actual degrees to say that for certain), but that’s certainly a major source! The way stars work is through fusion, or taking two atoms of an element (or different element) in an environment of massive heat and pressure and joining them to create a new element. Fusion gives off massively more energy than fission, which we’re more familiar with and can actually do ourselves with elements like uranium, but the hiccup in fusion is that there’s a point at which the energy gain is no longer high enough to offset the density of the atom created. So, fusion works GREAT on things like hydrogen or helium, which are both very small and therefore easily fused to give massive energy yields–this is why the biggest stars tend to burn very hot (not an absolute rule), because they have so much of these smaller elements available. These enormous stars–the sort of stars that die with a bang (nova/supernova) rather than a whimper (petering out)–burn hot and build up enormous pressure in their core, so the deeper you go the bigger the elements are.
Iron is the turning point, the point where you stop getting energy from fission and start getting it from fusion instead. As you work up toward iron from hydrogen on the periodic table, you get less and less energy from fusion, and as you get further from iron, into the higher numbers, you get steadily more energy from fission until you reach what we recognize as the radioactive elements, which break up easily enough to be practically applied for energy gain. Iron, however, is basically neutral: it won’t give energy either way, and managing either one would require a massive energy output. So, suppose you have a really huge star, a giant of some kind, and it’s been burning away happily for time immemorial (I don’t really have the time to go get data for star lifespans, I’m supposed to be studying for my organic chemistry final), fusing hydrogen into helium and helium into lithium and so on and so forth. And now it’s reaching the end of its life and the elements it’s creating are getting up to the teens and twenties, and it fuses two oxygens into an iron atom. That’s the cutoff: the star has now started to die. The dense iron building up at the core of the star causes it to collapse inward, building pressure, and when the pressure inside gets too much…boom. Supernova.
So yeah. Iron is the element that kills stars, and it’s the element that keeps us alive. It’s…it’s pretty damn cool.
“1/4? Really? Who writes a measure of ¼. WHY would you write a measure of ¼?” “Because fuck you that’s why.”
“I will literally trade you my sandwich for that practice room.” “Dude you should eat your lunch.” “I won’t be able to eat it if my teacher decapitates me for not practicing JUST TAKE IT.”
“I always wanted to look inside the percussion room. It’s like Narnia, but noisier.”
“Satan created piccolos to punish the trumpets for their pride.”
“I’m thinking about dropping music history.” “But why, don’t you need that class?” “Yes but half of it is non-music majors and two people were having a discussion about why there were hashtags at the beginning of the music.”
“So my teacher convinced me to take the History of Rock and Roll over the Summer but it was an online course and he found the webcam filters and inevitably the first unit ended up being taught by a talking dinosaur on my webcam. This man teaches college theory.”
“SHH. Don’t say the theory teacher’s name. He’s like Beetlejuice. If you say it three times he’ll appear behind you and fuck your shit up.”
“I found out Mozart had a butt fetish and I’m never going to be able to stop calling him Mozfart.”
“If I see a drink within 100 feet of that Steinway I will track you down and beat you with my harpsichord.”
Man I hate it when people use the pronoun “you” as a singular pronoun in an informal setting. “You” is plural, unless thou dost speak to an unfamiliar person. The correct singular second person pronoun is “thou” in most cases. Grammar never changes. Pronouns must always stay one way until the end of time. Learn thy proper English. *sigh* Kids these days.
If thou this mistake shouldst make on thine own blog, then know, villain, that thou art a dirty descriptivist, and no friend of mine. Ne'er should language itself alter, it doth remain fixèd as such, untouch’d by change. Wouldst thou, vile descriptivist, that we forget the heritage of our great tongue? Nay, say I. Thou art but a dickhead who sayest so.
stynt ðy clappe! beoð ðo writerris be wetleas knafen. ðy langag o engelond diffoulened be, ille usenid bi sclaundrous novelri.
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP
If ur white and like this post I fux with u
^absolutely
5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.
i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this
apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so
A lot of pets will ignore you, but only a cat will follow you from room to room and check your lines of vision to make absolutely certain that you can see them ignoring you.
fun fact: cats actually have very good peripheral vision and do a lot of checking things out with it. full-frontal staring into your face is, for them, an aggressive statement. hence they do that a lot when they’re trying to make you do stuff, like feed them or play with them.
if a cat sits with you but at an angle and won’t meet your gaze, they’re not ignoring you at all! they’re hanging out. they’re having chill bro time.
if you want to smile at your cat, look at them till they see you, then give a slow blink. this is a cat smile. if a cat only glances at you to give you a blink and then looks away, that is a warm greeting, like, ‘hey there, buddy’. be polite right back at them and don’t seek out or hold sustained eye-contact in friendly, casual situations.
There was a baby in the breakfast place this morning, probably about… 8 months old? Sitting in one of those attached-to-the-table sling chair things? And this baby was excruciatingly cute. Fat little cheeks and soft cloud of cherubic blonde curls and big, sparkly manga eyes.
And the baby kept crossing their little bare feet and every time they did Jack was like “!!!!!!!”
And he kept like, pausing breakfast and looking at the baby and like ??? cooing. Saying “Ooooooooo,” and smiling at this baby.
Finally we get up to go and he walks right up to this baby and puts his hands into this baby’s little soft cloud of baby curls and he looks at baby’s mom and says “This baby is the cutest baby. This baby is so sweet and I want to snuggle it.“
And I was like “OMG SORRY MY BIG KID IS TOUCHING YOUR BABY” and Jack’s like “PLEASE NO LET ME KEEP TOUCHING THIS BABY” and I pull him away and go pay and he is like, watching this baby like a hawk the whole time
And he says bye and blows a kiss to the mom and says, “Please give this kiss to that baby from me.” and she says she will and she’s like, nearly crying, and I’m like beet red, and we go outside.
And we’re standing there in the middle of the square, bustling with people, and Jack yells at the top of his lungs “I!!! REALLY!!! LOVE!!! BABIES!!!”
And I’m like “I totally know, dude, babies are great” trying to hustle him to the car and he’s like “Mom, mommy, did you see that baby it was so cute and sweet and soft and I know we can’t have one but I want one and I want to hold it and keep it and it to be my brother or sister and it’s so hard because I just want to touch all babies.”
It’s like a run-on-paragraph of babylove. And I’m like “I know I know I know” trying to strap him into his car seat before he takes off and decides to rub his grubby big kid hands all over this precious babyskin again.
We finally get in the car and we’re like getting ready to take off and he says, “Don’t worry Mommy. I will get you a baby someday.”
And this is why I am now concerned my five year old son is going to kidnap somebody’s infant.
If you’re a Non-Muslim and you see a Muslim praying in public, could you please not pass in front of them?
Go behind them, but not in front. 👍
Oh, signal boost! I didn’t know this.
Okay, but also: if you see a Muslim praying in public and they have something in front of them, like a purse or a bag or something like that, you can pass in front of them, but pass in front of that object.
it’s called a sutrah, and it’s meant to act as a physical barrier between the person praying and someone who might happen to pass in front.
Also, if you did this and didn’t know, please don’t beat yourself up over it. Now you know! Muslims aren’t supposed to pass in front of Muslims praying, either, because prayer is communication with God and you don’t want to break that connection.
Spread culture, respect customs, be good people. Simple as that.
Didn’t know this.
Okay! I didn’t know this, thank you for educating us
