Although I may not know you personally, I sincerely wish whoever reading this a great day. Despite whatever you’re going through right now, I hope today treats you well. 🌱
Crowley: Aziraphale, I have to say – of all the deceitful, unprincipled, corrupt things I’ve done in my entire life, nothing is as bad as… Aziraphale: Politics. Crowley: I can’t even say it.
Another thing that I hate is the idea that my identity isn’t “age appropriate” for children. Like, my mom described my girlfriend as “a friend of mine” to my 10 year old sister (who unbeknownst to my mom, knows that I am gay have a gf). That shit hurts! It’s really fucking hurtful that people I love think of my being gay as something that children “wouldn’t understand” and should therefore be shielded from. Surprise: children are generally uninterested in the particulars of adult dating/relationships. So if you tell them two people are together they will just take your word for it and not immediately launch into questions about gay sex. Incredible!
Seriously, dismantle the harmful misconception that same gender relationships are somehow more “adult” than different gender ones
if you are an eligible voter in the US this coming election and bernie sanders does not have the democratic nomination
you. have. to. vote. for. hillary.
i am not fucking messing around
i am not gonna sit here while you write in names or go on some fucking strike. hillary is not on the same level as donald trump. all of you who act like that’s a hard choice are ridiculous. you vote for hillary clinton if she gets the primary. if you don’t, you give trump the presidency. clear and simple. normally i would not advocate against writing in names, but at this point writing in names would take away from hillary’s vote if she is the nominee–EVEN IF YOU WRITE IN BERNIE SANDERS, YOU GIVE TRUMP A HIGHER CHANCE AT THE PRESIDENCY, AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT.
not even a year ago y’all were laughing about donald trump. don’t fuck this up. in no world is hillary clinton as bad as donald trump.
I haven’t said much about politics around here, but HOLY SHIT THIS.
Y’all. Do not be cute. If you’re not old enough to really remember it, go read about the election of 2000. The one that started us on the path of eight years of George W. Bush.
It happened a lot due in part to a centrist-leaning Al Gore getting the nomination and rather than picking the lesser of two evils, a lot of us tried to break with the two-party system by voting for Ralph Nader. As much as I hate that we’re limited to two parties, I will never do that again.
I feel completely comfortable saying that Donald Trump makes W look like a fucking fairy godmother in comparison.
If Satan his fucking self was running against Trump, I’d vote for Satan.
picture this: an underestimated finn rescuing rey and poe. people in the resistance would focus more on how nice and helpful and head over heels for rey and poe he is, not on how deadly he actually this. so when the last jedi and the commander of black squadron are kidnapped, no one thinks about finn until he's vanished. and he returns a few days later going "yeah i saved them. btw, here's all the data on their networks. i killed all the soldiers, so i hope this is enough."
Leia is so proud. Everyone else in the Resistance is half-terrified and half in shock (aside from Rey and Poe who are both just like “yup this is pretty SOP for being in enemy hands when Finn does not want us in enemy hands, not new territory here”), but Leia is just SO PROUD.
Somewhere Phasma is surveying the carnage and is S U F F E R I N G. She could’ve had that soldier. Did she really just have to keep that idiot Slip alive and encourage Nines and Zeroes to fraternize a bit and she could’ve kept that soldier? REALLY, WAS THAT ALL IT WOULD’VE TAKEN TO GET RESULTS LIKE THESE ON THEIR SIDE?? BECAUSE SHE WOULD’VE DONE THAT, FOR RESULTS LIKE THESE.
Hux shows up all baffled and pissed off like “wtf happened HERE” and Phasma is just like “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT”.
Here are the rules that every child
learns in kindergarten.
One.
Only an uncared-for child or a great fool is caught outside after dark
on the equinoxes. (Fact: Harry is an
A-average student with a knack for real-world applications and logical
thinking. Appropriate conclusions may be
drawn.)
Two.
If you hear the Horns, you will run.
(Fact: Harry has excellent hearing, and the Horns carry on the wind like
ashes from a wildfire.)
Three. If you run, they have to chase you. (Fact: Harry does not remember when she moved,
but her legs burn and each footstep seems to thunder like a drumbeat.)
“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.
“Unless you are following the dialogue with an action and not a dialogue tag.” He took a deep breath and sat back down after making the clarifying statement.
“However,” she added, shifting in her seat, “it’s appropriate to use a comma if there’s action in the middle of a sentence.”
“True.” She glanced at the others. “You can also end with a period if you include an action between two separate statements.”
I have 200 followers??? How??? I just…y’all are so sweet???
New followers can collect their party hats on the left (top hats and beanies also available), their sticker sheet on the right, and their all-access pass to my inbox at the door.
Now, listen, sweeties, I’ve been considering doing a thing, and this is a good excuse to do it, so I’m going to post some of my writing as…the online equivalent of champagne, I guess?
I should know by now to literally never put my playlist on shuffle in the presence of other human beings.
because when you’re making out with certain people and “Ave Maria” comes on, and you get really into making out to Schubert because you are a Filthy Catholic Sinner
certain people want explanations that you may not be able to furnish
DO NOT DO THIS!!!! IT WILL BURN YOU!!! AND EXPLODE!!!! AND RELEASE CHLORINE GAS WHICH CAN KILL YOU!!! holy fuck who posts this jesus
Someone who literally wants to trick people into making what is basically a homemade bomb, apparently.
Whoever’s doing this is trying to kill Sanders supporters or get them arrested as terrorists smh
How many wanna bet this started on 4chan?
this is like that thing where they tried to trick tumblr users into making napalm by disguising it as a way to make crystals (that is a thing that happened right? I remember it)
social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him.
Miscellaneous Clark Kent headcanons as relate to my little fic universe, that may or may not ever come up because who knows:
Little Clark was really susceptible to childhood superstitions for some reason. He didn’t go under ladders, he did the salt over the shoulder thing, he did not fuck with that Bloody Mary shit like NOPE I’M OUT THIS SLUMBER PARTY IS CANCELED, LANA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR MURDER GHOSTS WITH YOU. He believes that he is over this as an adult but whenever his foot is about to fall on a crack in the sidewalk it actually stops like a half inch above the ground and hovers there. He does not notice he is doing this. No one notices, ever, because it is the weirdest subtle unconscious thing in the world. At least Martha’s back is safe?
I covered the picky eater thing in Christmas in Kansas but to be more specific his tastebuds are just really sensitive to certain chemical compounds? Not just in terms of things he won’t eat but also in terms of things that he expects to be there and he doesn’t really like foods that lack those things. Your two options to make him eat anything are to cover it in sugar, or cover it in garlic.
He goes through a lot of breathmints. Can you imagine if Superman saved someone and they were like “man i appreciate being alive but he had some really bad garlic breath”? He would be so horrified.
He has a ratty, fucked-up old shirt that he wears whenever he is making pasta with red sauce. Even Superman cannot stand against the ability of red sauce to end up on whatever you happen to be wearing. HE WAS SO CAREFUL THIS TIME, HOW DID A STAIN END UP ON HIS BACK THAT JUST MAKES NO SENSE. Clark Kent’s weaknesses: kryptonite, tomato stains.
His ability to perfectly imitate anyone’s voice was one of the first things to manifest themselves, but this wasn’t the kind of thing anyone noticed was weird. It definitely didn’t seem like a power. He was just a small child who could do a really good Kermit the Frog. He sang Rainbow Connection at a middle school talent show and all the moms cried.
He definitely has a playlist to cheer himself up and get pumped and it has Eye of the Tiger and You’re the Best on it. Probably also half the Top Gun soundtrack.
Clark Kent’s twitter is pretty standard snarky newsman except with more farming memes. No one can tell how ironic the farming memes are. They might not be ironic at all. Clark Kent might be really sincere, or he might just be so ironic that he has circled back around into sincerity. No one knows. He’s also really good at that thing where you retweet two things from a person that side-by-side reveal they are a dingus. I don’t know if there’s a word for that.
His Snapchat is all dogspotting, with occasional rare dance breaks. He’s a pretty good dancer since he found those YouTube tutorials. He does this thing with his hips that Lois finds deeply upsetting for reasons she cannot articulate.
Jimmy asked Clark how he got so fit once and Clark was like “uh, farming. farm. eyup.” But he kept pressing for deets and Clark ended up just telling him that he’d pulled a Milo of Croton??? He lifted a newborn calf over his head and then just did that every single day until he was lifting a cow over his head. Jimmy knows nothing about farming or cows or physical fitness and this seemed plausible enough to him.
He has a blog where he posts rejected articles and it is the wonkiest thing in the entire world because that is why they got rejected. Perry takes one look at these articles and is like “it will take more words than I want to pay you for just to explain the setup for this article and also there are five people total who care, in the world, including you”
He has to be really careful when he buys clothes because he needs to make sure that they aren’t too tight and he has full range of motion. He does not want to relive The Skinny Jeans Incident. Shirts that say ‘I flexed and the sleeves fell off’ are only funny until it happens to you, then they are just horrible reminders. Popped seams everywhere. There is no way to explain that without looking like a huge tool.
Even when Superman has a really shitty day he keeps it together until he gets home, but then he shuts the balcony door and peels off his costume and Clark does the Tina Belcher groan for like ten minutes while he takes a shower because he got covered in sewer mutant or space crab or god knows and UUUUUUUUUUGH. Fortunately the nice older lady in the apartment next door always seems to know when he has had a shitty day and she brings him pie.
She can hear his melodramatic bullshit from over at her place, that’s how she knows. They share a bathroom wall and it practically echoes. If she times it right he will answer the door before he has put a shirt on because he doesn’t want to leave her waiting in the hall. She does not know what his day job is and it definitely does not occur to her that he is Superman because her primary interaction with him is that he acts like a whiny bitch and she brings him pie so she can ogle him. She is a simple woman who enjoys life’s simple pleasures.
The Kryptonian language is really complicated in terms of tonality, context, word order, musicality, etc, and the written language reflects that. Things like the order things are in, how things overlap, colors, etc, are all important. So basically I really like the idea of his symbol being one that represents his family name and says that he is of the House of El. It’s really just basically his last name.
If Starfleet gets to have replicators then Krypton gets to have replicators and Jor-El definitely stuck one in the ship so his son would have, you know, food and clothing. But only Kryptonians can use their tech because they’re who the neural interface is designed for so whoops they got real lucky that Kryptonian babies love milk from Earth goats. Clark only started using the replicator later but it only knows how to make Kryptonian things and only some of those are useful to him.
Okay so here is where I tie those last two bullet points into something fucking dumb that you will take out of my cold dead hands: Clark got the costume out of the replicator. It didn’t necessarily understand what he wanted though? Like, the concept of a costume didn’t really translate, but it got the idea that he wanted an active uniform, so that is what it made. It’s brightly colored and has his last name on the front. Clark is wearing a Kryptonian football jersey is what I’m getting at. Later Kara will be VERY confused by this. Imagine ending up on an alien planet and meeting your cousin and he’s been fighting crime dressed like a quarterback.
Most telepathy does not work because different neural patterns. Diana can only manage it if she uses her lariat and even then it’s like trying to lasso a freight train that does not stop. It’s extremely disorienting. J'onn has just accepted that Superman can hear him but he’s not going to get anything back. It’s like the psychic equivalent of a dial tone for him. He’s trying to call his bro but their family has dialup. He tries not to fuck with it because he doesn’t want to poke around in Superman’s head blind and break something.
Clark can’t type with super speed because he’ll break the keyboard and the computer can’t keep up. Instead he uses shorthand along with a custom set of AutoHotKey macros and it is honestly infuriating how fast he can get things written with this setup. But also if he doesn’t have AutoHotKey on whatever he’s typing with then sometimes Lois will get an email like: ll] dyk f pw mde a dec wrt t $l stry? ]ck
A woman was told by her therapist to try talking to at least one person once a week but she decided to cheat by just talking to her empty apartment under the guise of telling Superman about her day because lol he can hear everything allegedly so this definitely counts and is what the doctor was going for with this. When she has to go to the hospital for a medical emergency she comes home and there is a note on her counter wherein Superman explains that he was worried because he hadn’t heard from her in a while, so he swung by to check on her. When he found out what happened he watered her plants and fed her goldfish and also that cat that he thought might be hers (she does not have a cat). She is completely mortified because she was just being full of shit she did not actually believe he could hear her oh god what all did she even say and whose cat is this???
Look if you are in Metropolis and you loudly say HEY SUPERMAN there is a very good chance he will hear it even if he doesn’t mean to. He is not trying to eavesdrop, that’s just what happens when you yell someone’s name in earshot.
He doesn’t wear the costume under his clothes because you may have noticed a running theme here where the universe is conspiring to ruin his clothes and leave him running around shirtless all the time. I mean thank god for the rest of us but he would rather not risk someone spilling their drink all over him somehow and suddenly his shirt is transparent and you can see the big S. It’s bad enough when it happens under ordinary circumstances. How often can one man get drinks spilled all over him? You would be shocked. Shocked. His eyes are up here, Lois.
Democrats: none of that #BernieOrBust shit. Or believing that #IStandWithHilary is the only valid option.
We. Cannot. Fucking. Let. Donald Fucking Trump. Be. Our. Next. President.
It’s only May, but PLEASE: plan to vote. Talk to your friends and family about voting, especially among your younger family and peers. It has never been more imperative that we rise above voter apathy this election. Voter apathy doesn’t do SHIT and you’re a selfish asshole who only cares about your pride if you refuse to go to the polls. Because best believe, every single Donald Trump fan or every moderate that gets swayed to his side is going to be at the polls.
FUCKING VOTE THIS YEAR.
But hey, if you don’t want to vote this year, just read some of the “responses” to this post that are basically “BUT BOTH PARTIES ARE THE SAAAAAAAME I AM NEVER VOTING FOR ANY OF THESE CORRUPT WHORE SHILLS YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE FOR PURITY IN POLITICS AND YOU BLEW IT!!!”
And if you agree with any of those responses, go and soak your head. Then dry off and get to work.
imagine clint and nat just hanging around in one of their safe houses and lounging on the couch while doing research on their next targets and they try to one up each other’s assassination target like “hey my guy bombed 3 major cities in the past 6 months” “well my guy is rumored to be behind the deaths of over 15 big game politicians” “well I’m getting paid more”
The duck nesting season is underway, which can only mean one thing: Ducklings!
Yup. There are going to be ducklings!
Anyway,
this is my reminder to you to NOT feed them bread.
This also goes for any duck at any time of the year, but goes double during the adorable ducking season.
No bread, of any kind, has any nutritional value for ducks. By feeding them bread, it fills their stomachs while providing no nutrient. It’s essentially the equivalent of humans eating cotton balls, or grass. This is especially important for the wee ones while they’re growing.
I still encourage you to feed them because it’s hella fun but instead, consider these alternate options:
Cracked corn
Wheat, barley or similar grains
Oats (uncooked; rolled or quick)
Rice (cooked or uncooked)
Milo
Birdseed (any type or mix)
Grapes (cut in half)
Frozen peas or corn (defrosted, no need to cook)
Earthworms
Mealworms (fresh or dried)
Chopped lettuce or other greens or salad mixes
Vegetable trimmings or peels (chopped)
Duck feed pellets or poultry starter pellets
These foods more closely mirror the duck’s natural food sources.
The ducks and geese at the pond would lose their shit over thin shredded carrots and lettuce. It’s more fun than bread too cause they crunch crunch crunch. When I was homeless I’d buy a dollar menu salad with no dressing, then go share it with the park critters. Better than Netflix.
Okay but this is one of the best things about gay love stories (besides the obvious). They’re fucking novel no matter what the plot is.
Star crossed boyfriends from families at war? WHO’D’A THUNK.
Battle couple lesbians out risking their lives together and making tearful confessions of love at wildly inopportune moments? WHOA NELLY THAT IS SOME INTERESTING SHIT.
A prince who gets his ass saved by a random street rat with a rakish smile and a secret past? OH MY GOD IS IT GONNA BE OKAY?
A lady thief and the much put-upon FBI agent chasing her down? ARE THEY GONNA KISS????
i’m just sitting here dying of laughter thinking about McGonagall looking over Harry in first year like yeah the kid gets into some dangerous shenanigans but it always seems to be for a greater purpose and his heart’s in the right place and he’s so sweet and quiet usually, clearly he takes after his mother Lily thank goodness this is good this boy is good
and then dead ass one year later kid shows up to school crashing into a tree with his bestie in a flying car instead of just owling the damn school that they’d missed the train and she’s just like DING DONG I WAS WRONG
in second year, she remembered harry is also james potter’s son
yo ginny weasley owns a cute fluffy pygmy puff named arnold that she carries around and plays w/ all day and she is feared for making boogers turn into bats that painfully fly out of your nasal passages she’s a fucking inspiration
My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.
Example:
Trump: “Your thighs are fat.” Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”
I think we’re onto something here.
this is probably the best coping skill I’ve ever seen and I am ten billion percent going to use it too
you know what i don’t get? when like, people write romance stories where two characters are so in love w each other its all magnetism, but they? don’t even have fun together? or are even nice to each other sometimes?
“our love could level a thousand mountains and conquer a million cities”
out of all the aspects of millennial-bashing, i think the one that most confuses me is the “millennials all got trophies as a kid, so now they’re all self-centered narcissists” theory
like— kids are pretty smart, y’all. they can see that every kid on the team gets a trophy and is told they did a good job; they can also see that not every kid on the team deserves a trophy, and not everyone did do a good job
the logical conclusion to draw from this is not “i’m great and i deserve praise”— it’s “no matter how mediocre i am, people will still praise me to make me feel better, so i can’t trust any compliments or accolades i receive”
this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.
where did this whole “ugh millennials think their so-so work is super great” thing even come from it is a goddamn mystery
what fucking kills me is, yeah, maybe we got the trophies, but who gave them out
this is not a recipe for overconfidence and narcissism. it is a recipe for constant self-guessing, low self-esteem, and a distrust of one’s own abilities and skills.
It’s also what I observed happening as a singing teacher: the older kids literally would not believe a positive word I said until I had proved I would tell them they screwed up/had done badly/etc. I did so in as useful a way as possible (“So this passage. We really need to work on this passage. A lot. This passage is not good yet.”), but with almost every adolescent I taught I had to prove I would give them straight-up criticism before they would parse my praise as anything other than meaningless “the grownups always do this” noise.
Class discussions are fun until u find out ur classmates are racists
class discussions make me cringe.
Class discussions have led to:
the discovery that half my class was racist as fuck
the discovery that half my class was homophobic/transphobic/etc as fuck (I did get a hug from the only out kid in class when I was done taking the ringleader to shreds, though, he was a great kid)
the discovery that my entire class revered Columbus as a good and kind individual who just did So Damn Much for the heathen savages (yeah, that was an ugly revelation for them)
an actual shouting match between two sides of the class over abortion laws/rights, which had to be broken up by the passing vice principal
the discovery that the history teacher was unaware of the fact that no culture EVER thought the world was flat (and certainly not the Greeks???? this is still weird to me????)
the discovery that a few people in my class believed that, if a parent was beating their kid, the kid must have deserved it (I genuinely hope those people got therapy and moved out of their homes)
and last but most certainly not least
the discovery that half the class thought that the way a girl dressed dictated whether or not she ‘deserved’ to get raped, which led straight to
the discovery that the TEACHER thought that if a girl dressed a certain way, she wasn’t a victim, no matter what happened to her, which was directly involved in
me, in my jeans and t-shirt, slamming a kid into a table by the throat for certain ongoing shenanigans
“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.
“Unless you are following the dialogue with an action and not a dialogue tag.” He took a deep breath and sat back down after making the clarifying statement.
“However,” she added, shifting in her seat, “it’s appropriate to use a comma if there’s action in the middle of a sentence.”
“Maybe you, too, know a handsome upwardly mobile upper-middle class cis dude who is well intentioned and *super progressive.* We’re happy go buy him a locally brewed craft beer and tell him to take a step back instead. We are not the heroes that Gotham needs.”
I don’t think you know how much you really ship something until you see one half of your ship with another character and you can just feel the discomfort rising within you.
I’m slightly in love with the idea of Percy going to college to study Marine Biology and then actually getting a job with it and freaking everyone out with his fish voodoo. Like can you imagine “hey Jackson can see what’s wrong with that seal?”
“he’s lonely Jim”
“what? You didn’t even-”
“I said he’s lonely Jim”
I feel we talk about signs of abuse from the victims standpoint but not from the abusers standpoint. In order to stop emotional abuse and recognize when we engage in unhealthy behaviors I made this list.
Do you react to important people in your life by ignoring them completely and not acknowledging their presence? Especially if they do something you don’t like?
Do you feel that your partner/friends/family members are the cause of your bad moods or frustration?
Does your partner/etc “do things the wrong way”?
Do criticize your partner/etc for being unreliable or a bad person?
Do you feel you have to constantly overlook your partners flaws in order to be around them?
Are you frequently accused of being “moody” or “hard to please”?
Do your partners complain that “nothing they do is good enough?
Do your partners appear to avoid you when you are angry or upset rather then comfort you?
Do you negatively comment on their intelligence or appearence? Either in private or in front of others.
Do you blame them when someone goes wrong?
Do you ever use phrases like “I could just hit you right now” or “I”m so mad I could punch something”?
Do you ever punch walls/throw things in front of your partner/etc?
Do you leave during fights and not inform of where you are going and when you will be back?
Do you behave the same alone with your partner that you do if you were in front of your friends or in public?
Have you frequently accused your partner of being too sensitive?
How often is your partner praised and complimented by yourself?
Do you think your partner spends too much time with friends and family?
Do you feel your partners friends and family are trying to drive you apart?
Do you actively comfort your partner when they are upset or angry even if you don’t really understand why they feel the way they do?
If your partner brings up a behavior that bothers them do you respond by discussing how to change it or do you respond defensively?
Do you have difficulty apologizing?
All of these things are abuse tactics. Obviously even the healthiest of us will do these sometimes but if any one becomes a regular habit that’s when the problem starts.
this is super important, i feel like this website makes it easy to put yourself in the role of the victim but never the abuser. It’s also important to note that being a victim does not preclude you from being an abuser.
I find this esp. important. I’ve exhibited some of these behaviors. I know abuse perpetuates abuse and that victims of abuse learn abusive behavior. I also know that having mental illness can make reacting and dealing with feelings even more difficult. That being said: being mentally ill does not mean you cannot be held accountable for your actions. Nor does being a survivor of abuse. I gotta take care of myself & heal and recognize how trauma and mental illness plays a role in how I treat others. Being a victim doesn’t mean you cannot be an abuser too.
One of the reasons I always recommend Lundy Bancroft book ‘why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men’ to everyone is because it is an invaluable tool for highlighting the toxic aspects in our own personalities.
All men have been socialised with some of the traits/behaviours he speaks of, and the behaviours encourage attitudes and then the attitudes entrench behaviours. Breaking this cycle takes determination, honesty and self care, but it’s in invaluable journey.
I will also reiterate that abuse/abusive mentalities are not always consistent between relationships with the same person. What negatively affects one partner will slide right off the shoulders of or be immediately curtailed by another. What one partner needs another partner dislikes or doesn’t want. What will cause one relationship type to crash and burn horribly will support or confirm another relationship type. This is why abusers often have functional friendships and disastrous romantic relationships. This is why some poly abusers can have very functional relationships with one partner and disastrously harmful ones with another. Or, have great nonprimary relationships and terrifying primary ones, or whatever. Sometimes we believe it is acceptable to mistreat or behave badly only in specific types of relationship, so watch for that both in yourself and in others.
