50 shades of shut the fuck up about this book i’ve read better smut written by virgin teenagers for free
oH MY GoD
“i’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “im telling mom”
I remember when I thought people in their 20’s were adults. Now all of my friends are in their 20’s and everybody is just kind of fumbling around bumping into each other, trying to figure out where the free food is
Excellent gif use
can we stop conditioning teens on tumblr to be terrified of being wrong or misinformed ??? you can’t ask a damn question on here without someone jumping down yr throat??? let kids learn from their mistakes because they WILL LEARN. don’t go telling teenagers to kill themselves or doxx them over misguided opinions jesus christ stop terrifying people into submission its abusive fcked up and wrong
Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?
the prof asks the important questions.
Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD, GODDAMMIT!!!
Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
If you do not reblog this, you are in fact lying.
Hey, don’t you fucking scroll down
You
Fucking
Liar.
Two kinds of people in this world. The people that admit to mourning the death of a fictional character and the dirty fucking liars
why do white people get so butthurt over white people jokes
like idc i find them hilarious because they’re so REAL i think mustard is spicy, my mom is a pinterest person, my brothers wear basketball shorts and nike socks
like who cares we’re not being hurt by people saying this i have yet to be shot for drinking starbucks. white people are whiny as fuck and i am sorry
its 2015 why do women still have to pay for tampons and pads
because guys still have to pay for condoms ok women fuck, stop wanting special treatment.
condoms are given out for free at clinics and schools. we dont want special treatment i want fundamental human rights.
You can refrain from having sex.
You can’t refrain from having a period.
Word count in the HP Series:
Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944
Chamber of Secrets: 85,141
Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253
Goblet of Fire: 190,637
Order of the Phoenix: 257,045
Half-Blood Prince: 168,923
Deathly Hallows: 198,227Word count in the LOTR Series:
The Hobbit: 95,022
Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227
Two Towers: 143,436
Return of the King: 134,462This changed me
Holy shit. Well that puts things in perspective.
bless
Well fuck.
- don’t say pansexuality isn’t a thing
- don’t say asexuality isn’t real
- don’t say panromantic asexuality is made up
- don’t say bisexuality is ‘just a phase’
- don’t diminish someone’s sexual identity.
my family usually eats bagged cereals (you know, the off brand kinds that taste like deceit) and today my mother came home with 15+ boxes of sugared name-brand cereal, dumped them into my arms, and said “i can’t eat lies anymore, caroline.”
Tip for valentine’s day: DON’T PUT ANYTHING WITH SUGAR IN YOUR VAGINA
MY OPINION ON THINGS CHANGE FREQUENTLY AS I LEARN MORE STUFF ABOUT THE THING PLEASE DO NOT HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE FOR SOMETHING I SAID THREE YEARS AGO
thank you and bless you
foods dangerous to dogs:
- avocadoes
- alcohol
- raw bread dough
- caffeine
- chocolate
- grapes and raisins
- onions and garlic
- macadamia nuts
- raw salmon
- xylitol (artificial sweeteners)
if you have a dog please reblog this
You don’t need to have a dog, everyone just reblog this maybe ok yes
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
*takes bag*
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
Guys I got it
Society is literally telling dudes to go fuck themselves
I’m sorry I can’t not reblog this
In the 2014 additions to the UK Potter books, Rowling says part of the process to become an Animagus is to hold the leaf of a Mandrake in your mouth for a whole month.
Can you imagine. These boys in Minerva McGonagall’s classes for that month, hoping she doesn’t notice.
now that you pointed that out i’m 100% sure minerva knew about that