I am absolutely livid right now because the House voted to defund Planned Parenthood for one year (a loss of 1/3 of their funding) unless they stop performing abortions. That means the $300 million dollars of federal funding Planned Parenthood gets from Medicaid and family planning dollars is now gone. The result of this is going to be less access for low income people to get the healthcare provided by Planned Parenthood. There’s still a chance that this bill will not pass in Senate and if it does will likely be veto’d by Obama. Let’s hope it doesn’t make it any further than it has now.
-Myra
Obama has promised to veto the bill once it reaches his desk, but this is still ridiculous.
And we need to show with our support and votes that we are not ok with attacks on reproductive health care. State officials and other countries are watching. If they see that voters do not support this they are much more likely to change their minds
Do you mean doctors who spent years learning about abled white cis men’s bodies
do you know anything about the world besides what you read on tumblr
Okay but this is true?? Shut up with your bullshit, the medical industry for a very very long time has used the able bodied white cis male as their standard and that has very real healthcare consequences for a lot of people.
Do you know why most women don’t know when they’re having heart attacks? Why heart attacks kill more women than men? Because symptoms of a heart attack are different for women and the ones that doctors usually recognize and publicize are the symptoms experienced by men. Do you know why it’s so difficult for Black and Brown people to get diagnosed if they have skin cancer? Because doctors have been taught to recognize it on white people. People of size are constantly told that their problems are entirely because of their weight and doctors don’t even bother to look beyond that to be sure that’s the case. So those people have medical conditions go undiagnosed properly for years, and die in the process. Fuck, even just the fact that people think it’s okay to charge women more for healthcare because “they have extra parts” (?????) is indicative of the way the male body has been considered the standard for fucking ever. And the healthcare needs of disabled people or trans people? Forget about it.
OP is 1000% right. The medical industry has used the able cis white male body as their standard of care for CENTURIES and that has real consequences for the rest of us today. It’s getting better but it’s not where it should be. So fuck off with your snarky commentary, you’re wrong. The healthcare industry is not equipped to handle the needs of people with disabilities, women, PoC, trans people, people of size, etc. and that’s in large part due to the fact that the established body of medical knowledge was created by studying able, cis, white male bodies almost exclusively.
Hey there folks, speaking as a trained EMT and a pre-med student, I can confirm that the above person is approximately 7000% accurate. In my EMT training, I would repeatedly ask ‘’but what if my patent is a woman” or “what is my patient is a person of color” and at first all I got was shock. Then I got confused bumbling. I got some answers–basic symptoms of a heart attack in women, how to recognize cyanosis in someone of color, the basics of how to work with an autistic patient or someone who for whatever reason can’t communicate well with you. In fact, EMTs and other EMS workers are getting a lot better at learning the differences between the health care for a person of color or someone disabled. We were even told that we would need to ask our patients for their biological sex (I know, I’m really sorry, I know that there are people who find this intensely uncomfortable or even harmful, but there are real medical reasons for this and most decent EMTs will use whatever pronouns you ask them to). But most if not all of the answers we were given about women were directly related to gynecological issues. The guys teaching me? They were good guys. Nice. Funny. Smart. Devoted to caring for patients. Impassioned about protecting people, especially women and teenaged girls, from assault. Largely not sexist toward me or their coworkers. Hell, they were even smart enough to say “listen, boys, the women in this class have a higher pain tolerance than you, they just do, and as a rule if a women says their pain is a 5 on a scale of 1-10, assume it’s somewhere around an 8” when a kid laughed during the gyno unit. But they just didn’t know what to say when I asked “so if you’re supposed to palpate the patient’s chest, what do you do if your patient’s a triple-D” or when I asked “so if your patient gets menstrual migraines, how do you know if this headache is a stroke or not.” They had never been taught. This is a real problem, one that many medical professionals work hard to remedy once they start practicing. But this is not bullshit. At all. The standard patient is a cis white guy with no disabilities or chronic illnesses. It’s a huge fucking problem and I’m going to need you to step down with your bullshit, there, friend.
Thank you words-writ-in-starlight ! It’s a huge problem that a few of the leading med schools are starting to recognize . Let me add that medications and dosing standards in Big Pharma also use the cis male model in research/development. Women’s bodies and hormones affect medication efficacy greatly, yet that is t always taken in consideration when meds are prescribed.
So I'm kind of low-key constantly on the look out for a new decent book to read (gay is a 10000% bonus) and you seem pretty enthusiastic about the Captive Prince (and all I know about it is that there's a gay couple)...d'you have a pitch for it? (Coherency not required)
D O I E V E R
okay, so you know how you read a book and you’re like ‘this is great, but imagine if x’ or ‘this would be ten times more intense if they x’ or even ‘I can’t wait to hit up Ao3 later because if anything is gonna have an AU where one of them is an exiled prince sold to the other as a slave it’s this’? THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS IS CAPTIVE PRINCE. THEY’RE NOT EVEN QUESTIONS, BUT CAPTIVE PRINCE IS THE ANSWER.
it’s all the things you look for in a fic: an intense slowburn between The Hero and The Ruler with the most toe-curling concept packed full of A+ romance tropes, literally breathtaking teases and epic twists and it’s written by that one fic writer who nails characterisation even when she’s writing an off-the-wall royalty AU and manages to turn what the plot summary said would be a ‘master/slave erotica’ into an intelligent, gripping, intensely romantic and not at all problematic thrill ride about secret identities, politics and courtly intrigue – EXCEPT IT’S NOT A FIC! IT’S A BOOK! YOU CAN BUY IT AND HOLD IN YOUR ACTUAL HUMAN HANDS!!!
but honestly. princes! sword fights! incredible world-building! power dynamics! secrets and lies! a not insubstantial amount of background exhibitionism! incredible build-up of the main relationship, the eventual consummation of which literally brought me to overwhelmed tears! read! captive! prince!
(other things of note: 1. not a gay couple! one is bisexual and the other, for my money, is grey-asexual. which just makes it even BETTER. LIKE IT WASN’T ALREADY THE MOST APPEALING THING ON THIS GOOD EARTH. 2. it neatly sidesteps all the 50 Shades-esque pitfalls you’re imagining it falling into. trust.*)
If you vote to defund planned parenthood, then you do not care about women or children. Did you ever stop to think about the services that they provide for pregnant women who do want to keep the child? Think about how expensive proper health care is for women, especially pregnant women. You don’t want them to get an abortion, but yet you’re allowing funds to be cut for them to provide care so that their child can be born healthy. You’re also stopping women from getting birth control. So you are basically taking away any choice women have about their bodies, and that will never be justifiable.
Sean Bean dies in everything because it’s the universe trying to correct the hole ripped in it due to the fact that his name doesn’t rhyme when it should
did anyone ever actually read animorphs or did we all just glance at the covers and assume it needed no explanation on the way to the goosebumps section in our elementary school library
animorphs is a scifi series about the grey morality of war and child soldiers experiencing trauma, depression, PTSD, being frequently and brutally dismembered, disemboweled, literally tortured to the brink of death, forced to murder their own family members with their bare hands, and on page 22 of the very first book they watch the alien prince who gave them their ~wacky animal morphing powers~ scream while be eaten alive in vivid and gory detail
One dude permanently turned into a bird for a while, forgot how to make facial expressions when he was a human and ate roadkill. And that was one of the tamer things.
You know the starfish cover everyone likes to mock especially? The girl beat someone to death with her own severed arm in that one :)
If Bernie loses the primaries: YOU STILL MUST VOTE
Tumblr’s become so attached to Bernie that I’m not sure y’all are still gonna vote in the election if he loses. I will vote for him, I know most of you might too, but we must still be prepared for something like that :/
I know it would mean that you will have lost the one candidate you believed in the most. I know it will possibly mean voting for Hillary over the Republicans, when all of you don’t like her that much, I understand, believe me.
BUT HERE’S WHY YOU STILL VOTE:
1. Because are you going to give the Republicans a greater chance of victory?
I know it seems like HRC and the Republicans are one in the same to most of you, but if both HRC and the GOP REALLY dislike each other? You can tell that’s not exactly true. Granted when compared to Bernie, Hillary seems conservative, but Bernie’s super liberal where Clinton reflects most of the party, center-left, like Obama. She’s not the progressive you all want, but she sure as hell ain’t conservative. Bernie has positive things to say about Hillary, and, let’s face it, she is still a better choice than any GOP candidate.
2. Not voting means you are still deciding who has a better chance of winning in the election, don’t be fooled.
Don’t think that Bernie not winning the Dem nomination means that there is no hope at all for change and that voting for any Democrat is useless, if you don’t vote, you give the Republicans a greater chance of winning, just like I said above. And you know what? Good. Because that’s exactly what they want. Why would they want young people voting if it means they might vote Democrat? Think about that hard.
Seriously,he released a whole video on how “elites want big money to dominate the political process” and this:
And he KNOWS they don’t want that. You will not be making a positive change if you don’t vote, hence he is saying you will make the problem worse, if you avoid voting.
This is not only for this election. It is 2016 and beyond. Don’t forget that, please.
“I’ve survived a lot of things, and I’ll probably survive this.”—I repost this every time it comes up on my dash. Because I need this reminder several times a day. (via amandaq62)
You are absolutely gorgeous. No, no, sorry ignore me keep putting the money in the bag you’re doing great.
I don’t really care that you’re cleaning your drug money in the laundromat, Its 4am let me wash my fucking boxers
Why are you carrying a head in an extra large pickle jar?
You are on the police’s most wanted list but you’re in my pet shop asking about how to care for your pet lizard and you are very passionate about it. So yes I am a bit flustered
Hey! You stole my wallet well technically its a wallet that I stole, but I still want it back!
I don’t care if you were here first its my dump site, take your body somewhere else
Hypothetically, would you be able to get me some Chloroform. I’m asking for a friend.
So, I’m dying, but its really important to me that someone knows where I put my-
Dude, add like a box of cereal or something. Only buying a knife set and trash bags makes you look guilty as fuck
Did you just give me your number, IN THE MIDDLE OF ME ROBBING YOU?
Just click a button when you pull up an article and it will automatically save it to your library
And cite it for you
And you can use it on your mobile devices
And it’s free
Just download it and you won’t have so many urges to kill everyone in sight while writing a research paper
Thank you so much!
Guys, I cannot stress how amazing this program is.
You can use it to highlight, write notes, mark up, etc. What I do is I highlight all the important jazz, use the comments to write notes on the document, and on the side bar, I write an annotated bib for it for future me. It save everything you write on it forever for you and you can put the articles in folders and organize it.
But that’s not the best part, the best part is that you can access your articles ANYWHERE. Literally anywhere. Forgot your laptop and at a public library? No worries! You can go to the Mendeley website and ACCESS ALL YOUR ARTICLES WITH YOUR NOTES ONLINE. You don’t even have to download the program to access it! It is a life saver and I suggest everyone in academia use it!
I feel like if the harry potter theme parks sold jumpers that looked like weasley jumpers but they had every single letter in the alphabet they’d make a lot of money
unpaid internships are oppressive and should be illegal i’m not being cute or funny they are 100% designed to reward people with greater access to resources and i’m fundamentally opposed to hiring for unpaid labor every internship should be required to provide at least a nominal stipend
“The best time to make ideas is through sleep deprivation!”
“I want to do so much more right before bed and I don’t understand why!”
etc.
So basically when you stay up way too late it effects your problem solving ability and your ability to make decisions. [1]
Do you want to know a possible reason as to why that “I stayed up really late and now I feel so creative and willing to draw!” feeling happens? Because your self-critique center is shutting down because you’ve been awake for too long.
You are always as creative and able to do things as you were when you were awake. That potential doesn’t just disappear.
Difference is– when you’re wide awake you have a stronger problem-solving and decision-making center, which is obviously related to self-critique. Being tired doesn’t necessarily make you more creative and motivated, being tired forces you to quiet that part of yourself that holds you back.
In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.
no you don’t understand we actually do say that
i crashed my car into a bridge
THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME
We also say “That’s not my beer” for “That’s none of my buisness” and I think that’s beautiful
is germany even real
My roommate dated a German. When I was making dinner one night, he asked my roommate, “this food… does it taste?”
At our confusion, he explained that in Germany, food either “tastes” or “does not taste”. Which he then said he supposed said something about German food.
To be fair we do say “it tastes good” and “it tastes bad” and many variations thereof, but when we want to be succinct, then yes, it just tastes or doesn’t taste.
Other fun turns of phrase in German include:
“Ich versteh’ nur Bahnhof” = “I only understand train station” for when you’re confused
“Hast du Tomaten auf den Augen?” = “Have you got tomatoes on your eyes?” for when someone’s not seeing the obvious
“Auf die Schippe nehmen” = “Take someone on a shovel”, basically means to take the piss out of someone
“Du gehst mir auf den Sack” = “You’re walking on my sack” for when you’re pissed off
the world is beautiful
also there’s two more variations of “Du gehst mir auf den Sack.” (btw by sack we mean testicle. yeah.)
“Du gehst mir auf den Senkel.” = “You’re walking on my shoelace(s).”
“Du gehst mir auf den Keks.” = “You’re walking on my cookie.”
ALSO WE HAVE THE WORD “DOCH” (basically means yes, but in response to someone saying no) AND IT IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY THAT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS NO EQUIVALENT
I MISS ‘DOCH’ SO MUCH you basically have to settle for “does so” or “yes it does” or something not half as succintly defiant
I also miss “aneinander vorbei reden” = “to talk past each other”, meaning when people are completely missing each other’s points / talking about two different things. It’s such nice imagery.
And we call stupid people “Hans Wurst” = “Hans Sausage” (no matter if you are boy or a girl)
Yeah, if we are surprised we say “Holla die Waldfee” = “Holla the forest fairy”
Seriously though, how do children grow up without “doch” und “trotzdem”?
Just read your reply to the medical industry and the issues of race, gender, disability, and transgender health issues. Honestly I have never really thought about that until I read the post and your response to it. I'm not in the medical field but from reading your reply I realized that you are correct and it has given me a new perspective on how far the medical industry needs to go in educating healthcare providers on different people's needs. So, thanks to you I have a better understanding. :D
I’m so glad it helped! I’ve gotten some shit for that post and I stand by it (equality in medical care means *accommodating everyone* so that they can get the same benefits, because, for example, I’m allergic to a vaccine and therefore it’s not equal treatment to administer that vaccine to me even if everyone else is getting it, because I’ll hallucinate for three days and have a sky-high fever–super not fun), but I’ve gotta admit that you’re one of the first…like…nice people I’ve heard from on the matter. You made my fucking day, I hope you have a stellar day yourself, my friend.
I honestly hate how art and media have kind of romanticized the idea of like “going off your meds and being your true self again” because like I started taking antidepressants and like immediately got a new job, found a place to live, improved my relationships with people in my life and completely reconciled with my sort of estranged ex-girlfriend?? Medication can be rad and while I realize that it’s not for everybody I don’t think anything should be trying to convince anyone that being on medication inherently makes you less of who you are
(Most) Medication is for helping you to be you again. The real me isn’t tired by just walking to the train station. The real me is not my anxiety or depression. They don’t define me.
The real me is who I am when I’m not anxious and feeling worthless 24/7.
Medication is supposed to be the chemical equivalent of glasses or a wheelchair, depending on the severity of impairment. It tries to help you compensate for what has been taken, been broken, or is missing.
In particular, i always hear the myth that anti-depressants give you “artificial happiness”… no, no, no. They give your brain the ability to be happy. You won’t always be happy, and sometimes you’ll be sad. But the happiness you’re able to feel when you’re on meds is your own, real, happiness.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE NEUROTYPICALS IN THE BACK!!!
There is a post going around that is very annoying and troubling to me because it contains false information about the American political system that could end up working against Bernie Sanders. So I wanted to clear some things up.
Donald Trump is NOT winning. There is no “winning” at this stage. There have not been any elections! At this point, the polls are done basically on name recognition. That’s how Deez Nuts ended up getting polled at 9% in my lovely home state of North Carolina, because people recognized “Deez Nuts” when asked. But literally there are no elections for Donald Trump to have won. That post says he’s ahead with votes… but there aren’t any votes for him to be ahead with. The first Republican primary in in February. At that point, we will have votes. Now, we do not.
I want to reiterate, the polls mean NOTHING right now. Literally Deez Nuts y’all. Deez Nuts. Deez Nuts is not a candidate that people would vote for… Deez Nuts is a candidate that made people laugh when asked. These are the current polls and their questions. http://www.pollingreport.com/wh16rep.htm
These polls are about the Republican nomination. I’m going to explain how the American political system works for a second here… See… We have two major parties, though the small parties have to do this same process too… but it’s bigger for the two major parties. So candidates run for the nomination… because that party can only nominate one person for president even though many within that party want to run. So before the election is to take place, each party has a “primary” election… where they vote for whoever will represent that party. Once someone wins the primary elections, that person is the presidential candidate for that party and will run against the other presidential candidates for the actual presidency in November of the election year (I word it that way because that’s 2016, and some people seem to think it’s this November). So currently, Donald Trump is running against other Republican candidates (honestly, they’re all horrible and the problem we’ve run into this year is that they don’t have a good front runner because their whole party is so split and divided about everything that they have no cohesive purpose, just as they haven’t for the past 8 years other than “keep Obama from doing anything” but they can’t run on that now because Obama doesn’t matter so they’re all just floundering) to become the person who runs against whoever wins the Democratic nomination for president in November 2016. He is NOT currently running for president.
In some states, you must be a registered member of that political party to vote in the primaries. Which means you must be a registered Republican to vote against Trump in the primaries. In some states, you can be unaffiliated or independent and vote for ONE primary, not more. Regardless, you cannot vote against Trump in the Republican primaries and for Sanders in the Democratic primaries!!!!!! I have bolded this because it is SUPER important and people NEED to understand. If Trump wins the nomination, it is beyond unlikely he would win the presidency. If he wins the nomination, that would essentially give the Democrats the presidency because enough of the public is disgusted that that would never happen. Sanders is not a shoe in though! With Trump winning the nomination, no matter what Democratic candidate… they’d be a shoe in. But we need to be fighting for Sanders to have the Democratic nomination! If we don’t vote for Sanders in the Democratic primary against Hillary Clinton, we don’t get to vote for Sanders for president! He’s come so much farther than anyone thought he would. These are the current Democratic polls http://www.pollingreport.com/wh16dem.htm We REALLY need to help Bernie.
Encouraging people to vote AGAINST Trump in the Republican primaries PREVENTS people from voting FOR Sanders in the Democratic primaries.
In conclusion VOTE FOR SANDERSin the Democratic primaries NOT against Trump in the Republican primaries.
Please boost this, our future literally depends on people understanding this.
Hillary Clinton keeps trying so hard to appeal to college-aged voters by getting on “our level,” but her idea of that is just using social media and trying to get in on inside jokes and trends.
Bernie Sanders is appealing to us by actually giving us the things that we want and that he knows we need: healthcare, reduced college prices, increased minimum wage, etc.
Bernie is treating us like the political adults we are, and Hillary is treating us like little kids who just so happen to be able to vote.
we have the technology to turn salt water into potable water and we don’t use it
we have the technology to have unlimited solar energy and we don’t use it
we have the technology to turn the Sahara desert into farm land and we don’t use it
capitalism get on my damn nerves
people always talk about how capitalism is so innovative, but conveniently leaves out that the innovation is only for the sake of profit they never mention that when the prosperity of the entire population isn’t profitable, everyone but the ruling class is left to die
shoutout to george, fred, and especially ron weasley for realizing that harry was stuck in abusive and unhealthy household and, in spite of the massive trouble they knew they could get in, taking immediate steps to personally see him removed from that environment, something no adult in harry’s life did.
Recent graduates:
You're heading into the workforce or will be come the end of the next term. The next presidency will be your chance to receive the future you want to have.
New parents:
Giving your children all they need is what you want. Give them a world they are excited to enter at the end of their 13 years of public education.
Children of immigrants:
The current system is broken and I have heard it from both parties. You are their voice on how it can be fixed for future immigrants.
People with part-time jobs:
You have likely faced capitalism at its worst. Your opinions on issues such as minimum wage and healthcare are relevant and need to be heard.
All youth:
You are NOT retiring/facing death by 2020. This is YOUR life we're about to vote for.
I’m watching the Republican debate and Trump oh m y go dddd
“I’ve been in politics my whole life, just on that side.” *points to audience*
Yeah Trump I’ve been a doctor all my life just on that side *points to the patient waiting room*
I can’t f ucking believe. Rand Paul called him out on insulting people for petty things, like a middle schooler, and Trump’s response.
“I don’t recall ever attacking you on your looks, and there’s a lot to talk about there.”
????????????????
“Trump you insult people on superficial things.” “No I don’t also you’re ugly.”
He unironically suggested we let ISIS and Syria kill each other off
Is this–Is this Jurassic World?!?
Donald Trump drinking game: take a drink every time Trump answers a complex, important political question with–
The world doesn’t respect Obama
The world doesn’t respect America
We need to be great again
I’d do it but I don’t wanna die. Someone else take me up on it.
“I respect women.” –Donald Trump
“Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that?” –Donald Trump, about the one woman Republican candidate.
How did this callous lizard man crawl out of the swamp and slither into a suit. Who let this melty slug flop its way onto stage. Isn’t there security at these things?
“I want to build a wall. We have a lot of really bad dudes in this country. They’ve got gangs all over the place.”
I know 12-year-olds more politically informed than this.
“We have to have assimilation! In America we speak English!!”
-lies down- -lies down and cries- -rocks back and forth crying-
Trump, aiming to be surgeon general “Disease is bad! We have to go back to a time when disease wasn’t ravaging this country! Obama let disease happen. I won’t stand by and let Obama turn American into this!”
Trump, aiming to be a Supreme Court judge, “Lawlessness is ravaging this country! Crime is so high! We need to stop judges from letting illegal things happen! Obama did this.”
Trump, aiming for any highly specified and vitally important position, “Vague general angry statement! Blaming Obama! More vague angry noises! I hate women!”
“Autism has become an epidemic…I want smaller doses (of vaccines) over time… You take this little beautiful baby and you pump in–it looks like it was meant for a horse!”
oh god. oh god oh god ho god oh go do goh og do goh ogod ghog dso gooh god
He said. He said. Let’s not vaccinate our kids because needles are scary. The vaccines. Look scary. Don’t put needle in smol baby. Scary. I don’t
“The BEST action movie ever made” I scoff; as I read the only review on the front of the Mad Max Fury Road DVD. That’s a bold claim; I think to myself …I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO WRONG. AND I HAVE NEVER READ A REVIEW SO RIGHT.
So I’ve been seeing this post floating around Tumblr about how Harry should have retrieved the Resurrection Stone and imagine how wonderful it would have been for the characters to have closure with their loved ones and how beautiful and emotionally satisfying and and and… heart-wrenching stuff.
But… that’s completely not what the Resurrection Stone does.
The Stone is a liar, designed by Death to draw people away from life. The Second Brother literally goes insane from the image of his lost love, and kills himself to join her in death. And if you don’t believe the fairy tale (heh), look at what happens when Harry uses the Stone: Yes, his mother, father, Sirius and Remus appear, but they lure him to death. They literally encourage him to walk to his supposed grave. What does StoneLily say? “You’ve been so brave”. Compare that to the urgency of Goblet of Fire’s ShadowLily. Do they seem quite the same? Does it seem quite like Remus to be so passive in the face of dying before getting to know his son? Or for Sirius to encourage anyone to simply accept their death lying down?
Time and again, J. K. Rowling has emphasized the importance of “moving on” in the context of death. Think about it. Harry has another experience with the memories of his parents which nearly derails him - the Mirror of Erised. The Stone - which creates a far more tangible memory and far more dangerous allure - is devastating by nature. It’s not heartwarming or romantic or sweet. Frankly, I’m baffled that we would forget such a critical part of the Stone’s mythology. It is no less a murder weapon than the Elder Wand. It simply kills in a more roundabout way.
Sometimes it feels like beautiful
is the party of the year, and I wasn’t invited
(but I went anyway).
And inside, the baseline pulses
with my heartbeat and there are all these
perfect mouths: open and laughing
in the strobing darkness.
A boy who is all sharp jaw and white teeth
settles in behind me, hands on my hips,
close enough to kiss–
he leans in, licks his lips, says:
Sorry. I thought you were somebody else.
The joke
is that I am always trying to be
someone else.
It’s a magic trick, and
I haven’t gotten the hang of it, yet.
But it is a chore to love this body.
And on the days I do love it,
I usually don’t like the person inside of it.
I used to joke that all my sex appeal
instantly disappears the minute I open
my mouth.
I don’t say that anymore,
because that’s a shitty thing to say about yourself.
But the point still stands
that I feel helplessly awkward
being the person that I am.
Sometimes, I think my heart is actually
that sweet, pale pink you find
in babies’ bedrooms:
an organ made, not of blood, but
of the compressed powder from
a makeup compact. Softly blushing.
Given to crumble.
Sometimes I think that I’m only loud
so you won’t see how bad I’m shaking.
All this bravado to make up for the fact
that I am inherently fragile.
All these panic attacks dressed up as poetry,
just cries for help, desperately begging you
to love me.
You have no idea how many years I have been
second choice.
Imagine, being nobody’s first priority:
the one who’s left but never the one who leaves.
Trust me when I say, I know what it means
to keep swallowing pride
just to give your heart something
to eat.
Because when you don’t feel worthy,
you’ll take anything.
In the aftermath,
I stitch my body up with
one night stands and stolen kisses.
I write myself into my own story
as the villain, because I feel like
a poor excuse for a hero.
I keep collecting compliments in a jar
on the bedside table, hoping that maybe
if the jar gets full
I might finally be able to believe them.
It is hard to believe the people telling you
you are beautiful
when there is so much evidence to the contrary:
when there is so much unrequited love,
an entire childhood full of bullying,
when the ones who kiss you are
never the ones who stay.
So today
I am rebuilding what it means
to feel beautiful.
Today, beautiful is
knees covered in sidewalk chalk.
Today, beautiful is
hands riddled with paper cuts.
It’s bitten nails and bedhead.
Beautiful
is a warm cup of coffee and
someone to share it with.
Today, beautiful is something tangible:
something that I can get
and I can give
and I want all of you
to have it.
so apparently “asexual reproduction” is no longer the preferred scientific term, so if anyone makes a sponge joke or whatever just scream “IT’S AGAMETIC KNOW YOUR SCIENCE” and throw a textbook at them
