Okay so many of you know about Ramadan, the month in the islamic calander where every muslim who’s not travelling, pregnant, breastfeeding, diabetic or on their period or is ill or elderly has to fast from dawn until sunset and refrain from smoking, sex, swearing, etc. Instead of sending everyone I follow what I would like them to tag as #nsfr (not safe for ramadan), here is a list of things to tag:
food
nudes/ nsfw
kissing/ pda
smoking
bad language
I’d appreciate it if people reblog this so every muslim doesn’t have to ask the 400+ blogs they follow to tag stuff. Thanks!
This year it’s gonna fall on June 6th to July 6th, I believe :)
Also NONE OF THIS makes Vader less vicious or violent out in the world. Sometimes this makes Vader MORE vicious and violent out in the world, in fact, because he figures out slightly quicker than Padmé exactly how much SHARPER she is with him when he’s gone farther than she wanted him to go. And it’s not even the sharpness he wants specifically–it’s the ATTENTION–but he’d never say no to it. When she figures THAT out … hah. Haaaaah. She doesn’t even have to fucking TOUCH him, when she figures that out.
She DOESN’T touch him when she figures that out. He goes fucking CRAZY with it; he falls the fuck APART with it. She doesn’t even look at him for a full week, not even when he goddamn BEGS her to. The Empire could probably have collapsed without either of them noticing, if the Senate hadn’t known exactly how dead they all would’ve been if it had.
Just–Padmé Amidala literally riding the FUCKING TIGER here, with the fine line of giving Vader enough Dark to be content with but not enough to damn himself with. As if that even matters, now. As if that COULD matter, now.
It matters even more, now.
But what Vader wants from her is so much tenderness, and so much terribleness, and so MUCH, and sometimes Padmé isn’t sure if she’s the bloody bite-mark smeared down his throat or the soft hand stroking through his sticky, sweat-soaked hair. Or worse–if she’s both. What is she, if she is both those things to someone?
What is she if she is both those things to the GALAXY?
Fuuuuck, can I *please* have more sense freak hedonist Vader? That might have been the most AMAZING thing I've read in a good long while! & more of Padme & Vader's fucked up D/s dynamic. Just... christ, that was AMAZING! You're just AMAZING!
Thank you! ❤ I got a little stim-indulgent with Vader’s hedonist streak, I think, writing it was soooo enjoyable, hahahaha. AND YOU ARE IN LUCK, FRIEND, I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR TOUCH-STARVED HEDONISTS. ENOUGH OF ONE TO NEED A READ-MORE, APPARENTLY.
Also, handmaidens. Lots of handmaidens. Because hell yes handmaidens.
I’m just going to lie here and purr. I am a kitty. You are petting me.
Hey speaking of petting, how many times do you think Vader literally just kneeled on the floor by Padmé’s chair during a meeting or something and waited until she got distracted enough by all the political talk to start petting him like she would’ve if they were in their rooms? Just, like, a casual estimate.
Also, how many times do you think she internally freaked out once she realized just what she was doing in front of the damn Senate and gave him the you’re getting Punished for this later look.
Like, absolutely everyone is already terrified of her because Vader and the clone army answer to her and EVERYONE knows Vader killed Palpatine on her orders, and at least SOME people probably suspect he also killed the JEDI on her orders. And then she gives Darth fucking Vader, terror of the goddamn galaxy, the PUNISHMENT look. Everyone in the room immediately reconsiders every single one of the life choices that led them to BEING in this room.
Except for Vader, obviously. Vader is fucking DELIGHTED to be in this room.
Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him:
tie him to the bed
hit him in the face
leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide
wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning
choke him
Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do:
answer to “Anakin”
Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question. This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.
Look, I’ve been very cracky and fluffy and fun around here lately, I know, but if I go a month without someone being at least mildly traumatized by something I wrote then I will lose all my writerly powers and turn into a pillar of salt and blow away, okay, that’s just how it is. Therefore, Darth Vader is gonna have to learn real quick that every time his Master tells him to lay back and close his eyes, he better start answering to “Anakin” again ASAP or he’s not gonna get hurt the way he likes at ALL.
*coils protectively around this EXTREMELY EXCELLENT thing*
Cracky fluffy Mace Windu taking Anakin out for truckloads of glowing space ice cream and making morbid jokes is great, but for real I just want to talk about Empress Amidala and Vader and their twins who are probably really strange in this world and how the galaxy reacts when Queen Padme of Naboo is suddenly (and aggressively) promoted and the intricate details of how the Jedi flip their collective shit.
I think she ordered him to answer to “Anakin” exactly once and after that he just kind of had to learn the tells of when she wanted “Anakin” behavior out of him–the difference is so subtle for BOTH of them that it’s sort of a nightmare to get it just right, especially since “Anakin” is not exactly who Anakin actually WAS, just certain parts of Padmé’s perception of him that she knows damn well she’s exaggerating but wants anyway–especially because Padmé does NOT respond well when she does/doesn’t get him when she doesn’t/does want him.
Vader has an excellent sense of balance, at least.
It might be funny, if there was anyone left he could make the joke to. Definitely not any of the surviving Jedi. >>;;
MAN you are right, though, Luke and Leia are probably gonna grow up VERY UNUSUAL children, especially because Padmé will occasionally say things like “here is the list of things you need to lie to your father about no matter what” and VADER will occasionally say things like “eventually you’ll probably want to destroy each other and that’s a very natural feeling but I would recommend not following through on it because ruling the galaxy with a partner to do the parts you don’t like is just SO MUCH better”.
And meanwhile Luke is such a fucking sunshine bomb and Leia is so very fiercely JUST and KIND, no one is ever gonna believe they’re the Empress and Vader’s. Did–did Obi-Wan Kenobi maybe get Mustafar-ed for causing these two? Are these two HIS fault?
Okay, no, never mind: they’ll believe it the first time someone lets Princess Amidala anywhere near a lightsaber. They will believe it and FEAR IT.
He literally founded a newspaper that is still in circulation today
So he could shit talk his colleagues. Idk bout u, but most people I know just subtweet that now.
There was literally an article in this Sunday’s New York Post dragging Aaron Burr for saddling NYC with a grid system instead of wide Parisian boulevards. The first line was “We’ll never have Paris here in New York. But we could have … if not for Aaron Burr.” Marvelous. Hamilton’s ghost is weeping tears of joy.
This is the best addition to this post in 10,000+ notes and I would like to personally thank you for sharing this crucially important historical development
200+ years later and Burr still can’t catch a break from Alexander Hamilton’s legacy
Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.
I would read this
OH MY GOD
Forget reading this, I would watch a seven season TV show about this.
When conservatives say that universal healthcare will make the poor “spoiled” they sound like Immortan Joe warning his subjects not to get addicted to water.
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him:
tie him to the bed
hit him in the face
leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide
wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning
choke him
Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do:
answer to “Anakin”
Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question. This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.
Look, I’ve been very cracky and fluffy and fun around here lately, I know, but if I go a month without someone being at least mildly traumatized by something I wrote then I will lose all my writerly powers and turn into a pillar of salt and blow away, okay, that’s just how it is. Therefore, Darth Vader is gonna have to learn real quick that every time his Master tells him to lay back and close his eyes, he better start answering to “Anakin” again ASAP or he’s not gonna get hurt the way he likes at ALL.
*coils protectively around this EXTREMELY EXCELLENT thing*
Cracky fluffy Mace Windu taking Anakin out for truckloads of glowing space ice cream and making morbid jokes is great, but for real I just want to talk about Empress Amidala and Vader and their twins who are probably really strange in this world and how the galaxy reacts when Queen Padme of Naboo is suddenly (and aggressively) promoted and the intricate details of how the Jedi flip their collective shit.
Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him:
tie him to the bed
hit him in the face
leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide
wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning
choke him
Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do:
answer to “Anakin”
Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question. This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.
hey, i'm thinking of watching leverage- can you, like, explain it to me
Imagine if Robin Hood was in the 21st century except instead of King John it’s major corporations and instead of Robin Hood it’s an alcoholic ex-insurance cop lying to himself about being a good man and so hardbitten noir you practically choke on the cigarette smoke
oh and instead of the Merry Men you’ve got a hacker with a heart of gold who once drained the Icelandic bank for his grandmother’s medical bills, a self-loathing hitter who likes to pretend he’s an island when in actuality all he wants is someone to ask him to stay, and a thief who doesn’t melt or soften so much as find her footing, her home, and people who love her.
(also, spoilers, they are all married)
………..and Maid Marian is actually a grifter par excellence, femme fatale in the grand noir tradition, who is selfish and kind and the closest thing to a functional adult in the group, which is sort of terrifying, except for all the parts where it is amazing
Okay, so, question about the HamDevil AU (which is everything to me, by the way, I adore it): how the hell do clients react when they wander into dinky broken-down Nelson and Murdock and get told "This is Alex Hamilton, he'll be handling your case, if he gets off on a ramble ignore him, and make sure he puts the right year on your file because Karen might kill him if he keeps dating them 1804"?
I caught some time on my Singapore trip so I could answer this on my phone! so forgive me if it’s a bit scattershot.
by the time the story itself takes place, people have had some time to get used to the idea of a founding father hanging around New York fighting people, so it stands to reason he would’ve found work at some point. still, at first it wasn’t widely known that Alexander had started working at N&M, so the poor soul who walked in first right after the guy was hired probably nearly had a heart attack.
and word has a tendency to spread in Hell’s Kitchen, so N&M experienced a brief boom in popularity, during which a fuckload of clients specifically requested that Hamilton handle their cases. said clients v quickly found out that the musical was not exaggerating when it came to his, er, verbose tendencies.
I wonder how many awkward things people have said to me I’ve completely forgotten about but still makes someone cringe randomly when they are trying to sleep.
“but being abused made you so kind!” being abused made me terrified of being anything less than perfectly accommodating and pleasing in an effort to protect myself from the violence my abuser reacted with but okay whatever
Also see “You’re so mean now. I liked you better before.”
You liked me when I was completely accommodating out of residual fear and now I have basic boundaries and a shred of self confidence it inconveniences you.
“And Hamilton was not always scholarly, especially not when writing for Fenno’s Gazette about the devil, who he believed had been incarnated as Thomas Jefferson.”—Eric Burns, Infamous Scribblers (via aaronsburrr)
