1. They know that automatic doors open by themselves, ut when they walk towards them they slow down just in case. Sometimes they hold out their hands and pretend it’s magic.
2. They adopt smaller animals and live with them in their homes, sometimes imitating noises and sounds in attempts to communicate.
3. When they see something funny on TV, they immediately repeat it, sometimes to other people who were already in the room watching to begin with.
4. When they like being around someone very much, some humans will take clothing items from the person to have their smell around when they’re gone.
5. Many humans will take their favorite foods away from their regular feeding areas and hold off on eating them until they are sufficiently comfortable and entertained, to maximize on the experience.
6. Sometimes, a human will associate a particular song with an individual or event, and the song will invoke deep emotional reactions.
7. While many humans prefer to sleep alone, a large number of them sleep better when in close contact with another human who they trust and enjoy the company of.
8. When a human is particularly engaged by an enjoyable task or hobby, sometimes they simply forget that their bodies require basic care to survive.
9. Sometimes the urge for them to sneeze suddenly disappears, and they become frustrated with their automatic immune responses
10. Some humans talk in their sleep, or make funny noises or breathing patterns.
11. When a human likes another human, they begin to imitate vocal patterns and mannerisms.
12. Humans come in a wide range of shapes and colors, and many humans will decorate themselves with flashy dyes or fabrics.
13. They will collect random objects with no set objectives in mind- they will gather items such as paper squares, lengths of fabric, puzzle games, and pleasantly-shaped rocks, which they will excitedly show off to other humans.
the most human postive post that could ever exist, I hope aliens find this post
Wayne Enterprises board member:
Mr. Wayne, it has come to our attention that SOMEBODY has been taking business dinners at local restaurants and simply writing "insert student loan debt here" in the "tip" portion of the receipt. Is this you?
Bruce:
[intently attempting to open a bag of skittles without making eye contact]
Bruce:
yeaaup.
Wayne Enterprises board member:
Well, obviously you're going to need to stop doing that, it's costing us hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Bruce:
[pops a red skittle into his mouth, also without making eye contact]
“What Bowie was for white kids who didn’t fit in, Prince was for black kids. A beacon in mascara who made it okay to stand up and stand out.”—Marc Bernardin (via wnq-music)
psa: if you’re learning a language on Duolingo you can use it for your resumé on Linkedin, it now gives you a certificate of fluency at different levels depending on how advanced you are in your lessons
please signal boost this, many people don’t realize how important being multilingual can be in regards to you getting a job
There is no way to exploit an animal and love them at the same time (regarding beekeeping)
Let me tell you a story about two beehives.
We’ve all seen a beehive in the wild, yes? If you have not, it’s a small paper thing with very limited space for honey and brood. The bees spend days of labor to build this entire hive with not so much space, which leaves less time to collect precious honey for the winter. “We must hurry!” Say the wild bees. “Soon winter will come and we need to stock up on food!!”
Now let’s move on to the beekeeper’s hive. It’s nice and big, with lots of space and a grid that makes it easy to build honeycomb and fill it with nice sweet honey. “We have lots of space and spare time with this nice big new home!” The bees say, and they fill the whole thing up with food storage and nurseries.
“HA!” Laugh the wild bees. “Your hive is full, and now you have nothing to do!”
“No matter” say the honeybees. “Our beekeeper has added a whole new room to our hive! Now we can collect and store even more honey and brood!” The honeybees and wild bees continue to collect pollen and nectar, when suddenly, an epidemic of mites comes to bee meadow!
“These mites are awful!” Says one wild bee to another.
“They sure are!” The honeybee colony agrees.
The wild worker scoffs and says with a smug tone “Where is your beekeeper now? Surely they cannot save you from this terrible sickness!”
“Our beekeeper came by yesterday, and cured us of our mites!” The honeybee happily replied. “And they’re putting up a fence tomorrow because they heard there are predators in the area!”
Spring and summer passed by as usual. All of the bees collected pollen and nectar at their own pace.
Then, one autumn afternoon, the hive of wild bees discovers that the honeybees had been ROBBED! Robbed by their own beekeeper!
“HA HA!” Laughed the wild bees. “Your beekeeper betrayed you! And now you will never survive the winter! All of that protection and safety for naught!”
“Actually, we have plenty of honey.” The honeybees say. “We have even more than you do!”
It was true. The wild bees were stunned to see that their neighboring hive had plenty of honey to get by on, while their own honey stores would just barely get them through the winter.
“Well I’ll be!” the wild bees exclaim. “Maybe this beekeeping business isn’t as bad as I thought!”
In short, if you buy from a kind local beekeeper, the honey that comes to your kitchen is always going to be EXTRA honey. Honey the bees made way too much of because they had the recourses to do so. When we take honey, we carefully brush each bee off of each frame and take extra special care that nobody gets hurt.
I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say. Also, commercial beekeepers tend to not be quite so good. They take all the bee’s winter supply and feed them sugar water, they have too many hives in one place and exhaust their recourses, etc etc.
In the shortest of short; Support local beekeepers. More safe hives means more safe bees. Plant bee flowers. Be kind. (Bee kind, heehee.)
Sorry for the long post, and please enjoy the rest of your day.
do you ever think about how ron is constantly aware that everyone is such a huge fan of harry potter and he feels so forgotten
but like harry potter is ron weasley’s biggest fan he literally loves him sO MUCH like ron isn’t like super aware of it but one of the most famous guys in the wizarding world thinks he’s the most important person i’m emotional pls excuse me
imagine a crocodile with horse-like legs… unstoppable… i would love to ride one o’ those into battle
are you..high
….carry on
Fun fact these ‘crocodile cousins’ with ‘horse-like legs’ existed and was known as a ‘sabre-toothed cat in armour’ due to it’s speed out of water and long fangs. There was the ‘DogCroc’ ( Araripesuchus wegeneri) and ‘BoarCroc’ (Kaprosuchus). The DogCroc (featured above) was only around the size of a small dog, with its skull easily fitting into the palm of someones hand. It lived during the Lower Cretaceous-Upper Cretaceous period;
*Comparison of a DogCroc’s skull to a Sarcosuchus skull. (Sarcosuchus is the largest known crocodile species and was large enough it could even prey upon a T-Rex and could weigh up to ten tonnes and be over forty feet long.)
However the BoarCroc (Kaprosuchus) was twenty-foot long and could gallop across land and preyed upon dinosaurs.
wanted: a friend to exclusively sit in the car with me while it rains. you dont have to talk and can choose the music some days. ill pick you up any time the sky starts to turn grey.
there’s always a white boy in every class that just talks and talks and talks like timothy stop just write it down!! make a mental note!!! wait till after class and tell ya friends on reddit!!
More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.
More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”
More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.
More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.
More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”
More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.
YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.
“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”
“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”
Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.
Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”
i just realized i have a real actual story that easily sounds like some crazy made up 2012 tumblr post
so about two weekends ago i was hopping on a plane to get back from an out-of-state convention. because i like to keep a tighter budget on con travel, i got a seat almost at the back of the plane where all the people with kids usually get seated because it’s near the toilets and far from the vip class.
anyways i lug my carry-on bags to the 28th row where im supposed to sit my ass the fuck down for about 4 hours and get placed next to a lady and her 2 year old son who is mega energetic. thankfully i actually like kids, so i struck up conversation with her and started playing with her son. the little dude and i got along swimmingly and he even fed me animal crackers while we were up in the air and it was chill.
this totally scored me some points with mom and so when the boy got busy on the tablet, i got to talk to her too. turns out she was roughly my age and working in the marketing department of an all-natural medicine research group. i’m a business student, so i decided to actually try networking for once in my life and ask her about her life and her interests. of all the things she could have listed she says to me:
video games.
and i’m like cool awesome i like video games what kind of games do you play? she lists off a couple, including kingdom hearts, which i was super big on in like high school, when i was a huge fucking axel/roxas (akuroku) and sora/riku (soriku) shipper (like obsessed shipping trash with omg yaoi squee and all holy hot damn). i was trying to establish common ground so i say oh hey i love kingdom hearts
and i swear to god she looks straight at me IN PUBLIC with her TWO YEAR OLD SON SITTING BETWEEN US and said “do you ship akuroku and soriku? they’re so cute together.”
the story ends with me being totally mortified and also admitting that i totally do and us adding each other on facebook and now she and her son are gonna come up and hang out with me this weekend and is also trying to help me get a job at the company she’s currently working at?? i successfully networked?? on a professional level?? because of gay ships and nerd culture?? anime wasn’t a mistake??
can we stop with this “[abuse] builds character” shit? im not a better person because i was abused. im not a more interesting person because i was abused. im fucked up and paranoid because i was abused. stop romanticizing abuse you assholes
Hate vocal fry? Bothered by the use of “like” and “just”? Think uptalk makes people sound less confident? If so, you may find yourself growing increasingly unpopular—there’s a newwave of peoplepointingoutthat criticizing young women’s speech is just old-fashioned sexism.
I agree, but I think we can go even further: young women’s speech isn’t just acceptable—it’s revolutionary. And if we value disruptors and innovation, we shouldn’t just be tolerating young women’s speech—we should be celebrating it. To use a modern metaphor, young women are the Uber of language.
What does it mean to disrupt language? Let’s start with the great English disruptor: William Shakespeare.
Shakespeare is celebrated to this day not just because he wrote a mean soliloquy but because of what he added to our language—he’s said to have brought in over 1,700 words. But recent scholars have called that number of words into question. As Katherine Martin, head of US Dictionaries at Oxford University Press, has pointed out, if Shakespeare was inventing dozens of new words per play, how would his audience have understood him? Rather, it’s likely that Shakespeare had an excellent grasp of the vernacular and was merely writing down words that his audience was already using.
So if Shakespeare wasn’t disrupting the English language, who was? And how did we get from Shakespearean English to the version we speak now? That’s right: young women.
A pair of linguists, Terttu Nevalainen and Helena Raumolin-Brunberg at the University of Helsinki, conducted a study that combed through 6,000 personal letters written between 1417 and 1681. The pair looked at fourteen language changes that occurred during this period, things like the eradication of ye, the switch from “mine eyes” to “my eyes,” and the change from hath, doth, maketh to has, does, makes.
In 11 out of the 14 changes, they found that female letter-writers were changing the way they wrote faster than male letter-writers. In the three exceptional cases where the men were ahead of the women, those particular changes were linked to men’s greater access to education at the time. In other words, women are reliably ahead of the game when it comes to word-of-mouth linguistic changes.
This trend hasn’t changed much. While young people have long driven innovation, it’s not just an age thing—it’s also a gender thing. During the decades that sociolinguists have been researching the question, they’ve continually found evidence that women lead linguistic change.
Plus, young women are on the bleeding edge of those linguistic changes that periodically sweep through the media’s trend sections, from uptalk to “selfie” to the quotative like to vocal fry.
The role that young women play as language disruptors is so well-established at this point it’s practically boring to sociolinguists. The founder of modern sociolinguistics, William Labov, observed that women lead 90% of linguistic change—in a paper he wrote 25 years ago. Researchers continue to confirm his findings.
It takes about a generation for the language patterns started among young women to jump over to men. Uptalk, for example, which is associated with Valley Girls in the 1970s, is found among young men today. In other words, women learn language from their peers; men learn it from their mothers.
While the pattern is well-established, we still don’t know for sure yet why young women reliably lead linguistic innovation. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s nurture; but we do know that young women tend to be more socially aware, more empathetic, and more concerned about how their peers perceive them. This may translate into a greater facility for linguistic disruption. Women also tend to have larger social networks, which means they’re more likely to be exposed to a greater diversity of language innovations.
And of course, women are still likely to spend more time caring for children than men—even if a particular woman works outside the home, daycare workers and elementary school teachers are disproportionately female. This means that even if young men were disrupting language as much as women, they would be hard-pressed to pass it along.
All of this leads us to the biggest question: if women are such natural linguistic innovators, why do they get criticized for the same thing that we praise Shakespeare for? Plain old-fashioned sexism.
Our society takes middle-aged men more seriously than young women for a whole host of reasons, so it’s only logical that we have also been conditioned to automatically respect the tone and cadence of the typical male voice, as well as their word choices.
Sure, let’s encourage young women to speak with confidence, but not by avoiding vocal fry or “like” or whatever the next linguistic disruption is. Let’s tell them to speak with confidence because they’re participating in a millennia-old cycle of linguistic innovation—and one that generations of powerful men still haven’t figured out how to crack.
“The role that young women play as language disruptors is so well-established at this point it’s practically boring to sociolinguists” *weeps with joy*
THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL
also @loveandfolly I feel like this thing with sensitivity to/ disruption of language describes our high school circles
Current annoyance: I keep clicking kudos button on AO3 and then that fucker announces:
I don’t care. Some things just deserve more kudos.
Comments are also effective…
I just thought of something.
A lot of people say they don’t leave comments because they can’t think of anything to say other than “I liked this” and they think it’s dumb or something.
So how about… You leave a comment that says “This is an extra kudos” because you can leave as many comments as you like, but you can only leave a max of two kudos (one logged in, one logged out). You can do this on every chapter if you want! “Extra kudos in comment form!” You get to express your extra love in an introvert-friendly way! :D
This is an amazing idea, and this post needs ten thousand notes.
You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.
read that.
read it again, and again, and again.
somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot.
if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.
This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” - but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.
Fun History Fact: The overwhelming majority of cowboys in the U.S. were Indigenous, Black, and/or Mexican persons. The omnipresent white cowboy is a Hollywood studio concoction meant to uphold the mythology of white masculinity.
Thank you.
I will always re-blog this
I think it was high school when i overheard some white girl put on her best semi-disgusted and confused voice and go “why do so many Mexicans dress up like cowboys?” and I had to be the person to tell her.
Why do you think the whites say buckero? Cause they couldn’t say vaquero.
I dunno if I reblogged this before but fuck it, y'all gon learn today.
Guys, this is not a drill. Antarctic scientists need you to study photos of penguins to help them figure out how climate change is affecting these stumpy little flightless birds.
Scientists from the UK have installed a series of 75 cameras near penguin territories in Antarctica and its surrounding islands to figure out what’s happening with local populations. But with each of those cameras taking hourly photos, they simply can’t get through all the adorable images without your help.
“We can’t do this work on our own,” lead researcher Tom Hart from the University of Oxford told the BBC, “and every penguin that people click on and count on the website - that’s all information that tells us what’s happening at each nest, and what’s happening over time.”
The citizen science project is pretty simple - known as PenguinWatch 2.0,all you need to do is log on, look at photos, and identify adult penguins, chicks, and eggs in each image. Each photo requires just a few clicks to identify, and you can chat about your results in the website’s ‘Discuss’ page with other volunteers.
Oh my god I have never wanted to write a Marvel/Project Runway fusion before but can you imagine
Right though? RIGHT? She’d be so perfect, and it would be AMAZING.
I feel like she’d be super charming and sweet and nice–but also super critical and not shy about it, either.
“Darling, I know you’ve seen Batman and Robin, like, a thousand times, but the nipples really aren’t a selling point.”
“Okay, so the red and gold metal bikini is very sexy, but I think you missed the entire point of armor.”
“I like how it flows, but it’s far too flimsy. Forget Doombots - a stray corner is going to snag this cape and your whole costume just tears apart. Wardrobe malfunctions are embarrassing when you’re a celebrity, they’re fatal when you’re a superhero.”
“Yes, yes, the catsuit is very classic but it needs a zipper. I don’t care how hot you think she is, if you tell Black Widow she has to fight ninjas wearing a costume held together with double-sided tape she’ll break all ten of your fingers.”
“It’s certainly unique, but I’m not sure that glowing in the dark is a real selling point when you’re fighting crime.”
“Okay, this is just a Daredevil suit with the crotch cut out.” *takes a picture with her cell phone* “Nelson and Murdock will be contacting you shortly, I suspect.”
O-omg. PERFECT.
She totally pushes for style AND practicality in the judging. Yesss.
my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens
So I am out Christmas shopping and I’m seeing all these little girls picking out star wars toys and seeing storm trooper gear at Claire’s and overhearing parents picking out lightsabers for their daughters and I keep thinking about being a little kid when Phantom Menace first came out and there was NONE of this and my mom would sigh heavily every time I asked for a BOY toy and just what a great time this is right now for kids and sci fi
You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye
Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend
I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!
Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions
Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn
Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you
*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*
I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.
(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)
OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.
oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals
i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds
You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.
IT CAME BACK AROUND AND IT GOT BETTER!
THE EAGLES ARE COMING THE EAGLES ARE COMING
AND THEY’RE ACE
All right so who’s writing the best selling novel?
A white Bulgarian nationalist literally recorded a video of himself humiliating and beating up a Romani boy. Where is the outrage? Where is the massively trending hashtag? Where are the gofundme pages or the countless donations or Facebook profile picture filter?
Oh, right. Gypsies don’t get those things because most of the world views us exactly as this Bulgarian neo-nazi shithead: subhuman and not worthy of basic human dignity let alone help or respect.
I’m so tired of all of this. Please spread awareness and solidarity using Mitko’s hashtag #RomaAreEqual
Reblogging again for my trans* and genderfluid buddies and also all female cosplay friends.
yO IM !!!!!!!!
WOAH THIS POPPED UP ON MY DASH AGAIN! Everyone, this is the binder I use. Its rather comfortable, and it doesn’t feel too constricting to me. In fact, half the time i’m running around in cosplay and i forget im wearing a binder! i do remember to limit my time in the binder to at most 8 hours if not 6, take deep breaths after its off, and to do deep coughs, etc. but honestly using a sports bra was more noticable and uncomfortable than this binder. and they last, too! I recomend it to anyone who can afford it and bind safely!
