Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win: Archive

fozmeadows:

wintersoldierfell:
wintersoldierfell:
wintersoldierfell:
wintersoldierfell:
So I’ve been listening to an audiobook of Moby Dick in my downtime, and omg this book is weird. Like prepare yourself for it being super racist, but it’s also intensely gay??? The main character gets gay married to his Pacific Islander roomie like the night after he meets him???? Also I just got to the part with Captain Ahab and omg he is so Extra™ like he actually throws his pipe overboard because it doesn’t fit with his ~*~aesthetic~*~ Let me tell you Great American Literature is wild
UPDATE in this chapter the narrator can’t shut up about how hot his ~~particular friend~~ boyfriend Queequeg is and describes in loving detail how they’re tied together by this rope while he holds Queequeg over the side of the boat (actually he says “wedded,” WEDDED, i ask you) and he’s never felt more intimate with another human being in his life
JUST WHALERS BEING BROS
FURTHER FUCKING UPDATE OH MY GOD
okay so item 1: this book recently went from “somewhat racist at brief intervals” to “let’s have a whole chapter of unremitting racism” so like. be aware of that if you ever plan on reading this? it was not fun times
ITEM TWO
Y’ALL.
There is a whole chapter about Our Hero holding hands with his fellow whalers.
WHILE THEY MASSAGE WHALE SPERM.
I could not make this shit up. Here it is, in all its slimy glory, Chapter 94: A Squeeze of the Hand –

“Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers’ hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,- Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.”

THIS IS THE GAYEST THING I’VE EVER READ. MELVILLE IS LEGITIMATELY JUST TAUNTING ME NOW. HE’S CREEPILY ROLLING HIS LITTLE WHALER HANDS IN WHALE SPERM AND DARING ME TO SAY SOMETHING WHILE I JUST STAND THERE WITH MY FUCKING JAW ON THE FLOOR. THIS BISEXUAL ADMITS DEFEAT. I HAVE BEEN OUTFLANKED BY HERMAN FUCKING MELVILLE AND HIS GAY-ASS WHALE SPERM
FINAL. FUCKING. UPDATE.
this is what i said to @manicpanic88 earlier today, so naïvely: i said, “Meville is straight up thirsty for whales.” I added, “This man truly wants to fuck a whale.”
Let me be clear (and by the way SPOILERS up to antepenultimate chapter of the book follow this parenthetical): I am now on chapter one hundred thirty-something and we have only just now found the whale. Like. This book has been one hundred and thirty chapters of Real Nantucket Whale Thirst™ and almost no actual (Moby) Dick, do you get me? You out there who like pining fic, THIS BOOK IS THE ULTIMATE. Melville did it first, but GAYER, and WITH WHALES.
Anyway so this whole book everyone who has seen or even heard about Moby Dick is like “whoa my sweet fancy aunts, don’t go lookin’ for that there whippersnapper” (this is my attempt at imitating Melville’s weird imitation of a Nantucket accent, it’s not going well for me but it didn’t go well for him either), “whoa, THAT’S A BAD FISH, I heard he took someone’s head clean off / killed his twelve best mates / blew up a ship with the power of his LASER FLUKES!!” i mean no one actually says “laser flukes” but THIS IS THE LEVEL OF BADNESS WE ARE DEALING WITH. THIS IS NOT A NICE WHALE. YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE THIS WHALE HOME TO MEET YOUR PARENTS AT SPRING BREAK, HE WILL DRINK ALL YOUR BEER AND LEAVE THE HOUSE SOMEHOW FULL OF DOG POOP, WHILE IT IS ALSO ON FIRE.
and yet.
here is what Melville has to say about this bad motherfucker when we finally, finally see him for the very first time:
“A gentle joyousness - a mighty mildness of repose in swiftness, invested the gliding whale. Not the white bull Jupiter swimming away with ravished Europa clinging to his graceful horns; his lovely, leering eyes sideways intent upon the maid; with smooth bewitching fleetness, rippling straight for the nuptial bower in Crete; not Jove, not that great majesty Supreme! did surpass the glorified White Whale as he so divinely swam.”
RAVISHED EUROPA. STRAIGHT FOR THE NUPTIAL BOWER. WE GET IT, HERMAN. WE GET IT. YOU WANNA FUCK A WHALE. YOU WROTE A WHOLE ENTIRE BOOK ABOUT WANTING TO FUCK THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WHITE WHALE IN THE WORLD, WHO PROBABLY ALSO HAS PURPLE EYES AND PUTS ITS FLUKES UP WHEN SOME PREPS STARE AT HIM. WE GET IT.
reader, i hope he married it.
I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER OH MY GOD
and also now wondering if the Ishmael/Queequeg relationship was meant to be evocative of matelotage…

Jul 11, 2016 18,802 notes

#LAUGH RULE #SO MUCH THE LAUGH RULE #READER I AM IN TEARS THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I DRAGGED MYSELF THROUGH THIS MESS #I'M DYING #MOBY DICK #also click on that link you really want to click on that link #i mean i'mma reblog it for y'all but just so you know

LIST THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF YOUR LAST TEN FICS (AND SEE IF THERE ARE ANY PATTERNS)

I’m limiting myself to just fic-fics, not bullet-point-fics, because, like, I put out too much stuff. Thanks to @buckygreyjoy for tagging me.

1) “This guy needs to chill out,” Chat Noir said, shooting a smirk at Ladybug to see her nose crinkle up. Her look of fond distaste was the highlight of his day, every day, the kind of friendly teasing Adrien had always wished for as a little boy. The only thing better was when she actually shot a joke back at him, leaving a warm weight in his chest and a smile on his face. –from this untitled canon Miraculous Ladybug fic

2) Enjolras is a wished-for child, and he’s told as much every day by his mother, who bought his life with a few drops of blood on white silk in a gold embroidery hoop. From the minute he learns to talk, he’s as fair as the sun and as sharp as her needle, and his country adores their young prince with their whole heart. His mother Queen Lamarque is a good ruler and her Prince Consort is nice enough so all is well, and Enjolras grows up believing passionately in the rights of the people. His tutors despair of him as a monarch but are delighted with him as a politician—it’s very strange for everyone. –from this untitled Snow White AU Les Mis fic

3) The message from Lee was greeted by a long beat of silence. –from to see our glory, a canon-era Hamilton fic about Schuylkill, continued here

4) Eponine is ten, with parents who hate her and a little brother she’s terrified for, when she gets hit in the chest with a pebble. Some other kid tossed it and it’s pouring rain and they probably didn’t even see her, but she goes down like she’s been shot. –from a flower at my feet, a reincarnation AU Les Mis fic

5) “Excuse me, sir, are you awake?” The voice was feminine, warm and husky and stern, with a distinctive curl to the words, slack on the r and sharp over the vowels. New York City, then. Home. –from this as-yet-unpublished Winter Soldier AU Hamilton fic

6) The landslide didn’t take him by surprise. It was hard to take an earthbender by surprise, and harder when that earthbender had spent ten years mostly fending for himself. So Grantaire was well out of the path of the falling rocks before they started to slip, and fully intended to let nature take its course. The rocks were large, but they could be cleared easily, and he was trying to make this village last more than a season, which meant not doing things like diverting massive rockslides. –from things we lost in the fire, an Avatar AU Les Mis fic

7) She isn’t a Skywalker—or maybe she is. She can’t remember, so does it matter? She is herself. –from Shattered Glass and Sandstorms, a First Oder Rey Star Wars AU

8) John hadn’t slept heavily since coming to Valley Forge—the ill ease of a Southern boy exposed to the bitter nip of a Pennsylvania winter for the first time—but he was getting better at it. The tiny hut was better than the tent, and their status as aides de camp of the general himself meant that they were only two to a hut. It meant there was barely space to walk between the slapdash cots and the writing desk they shared and the two chairs. Alexander—who had insisted on the familiar address within scant days of meeting John, all sharp-edged smile and warm dark eyes—had a slightly easier time of it, as he wasn’t forced to stand with his head bowed whenever he drew too near a wall, but not much. –from this untitled canon-era Hamilton fic

9) “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had–” –from this untitled Steve/Sam/Bucky friendship MCU fic

10) “Oh m’God, who’s cooking, that is amazing,” Rogue called as she swept into the mansion and was hit by a wall of smoky-sweet warmth spilling from the kitchen. “Is that jambalaya? Am I gonna have to do extra Danger Room sessions or somethin’ for that?” –from this untitled Rogue/Remy X-Men fic

Honestly? The first thought that comes to mind is “I write too much Les Mis fic for someone who’s never read the book all the way through” but fuck it, I do what I want. Otherwise, I notice that I like to start with either a declarative statement (see 2, 3, 4, 6, 7) or someone doing something, preferably talking (see 1, 5, 9, 10), and heavy description as a cold open (8) is pretty uncommon. Um, yeah, that’s what I got.

In case anyone’s curious, I’m really proud of the First Order Rey one and I love the X-Men so y’all should feel free to hit me up for that. Also, guess who has two thumbs and is a huge AmRev nerd? *points at self* So yeah, for all your gay canon-era Hamilton needs.

I don’t even fucking know who to tag, just. Whoever. It’s kind of cathartic going through old writing, you should do it if you’ve had a long day.

Jul 11, 2016 1 note

#moran writes stuff #buckygreyjoy #hamilton fic #mcu fic #star wars fic #les mis fic

Jul 11, 2016 10,585 notes

#wanda goddamn maximoff #steve rogers

Jul 11, 2016 143 notes

#what the fuck #i am so fucking confused #history according to tumblr

5 Headcanons AU Meme

Prompt from @littlestartopaz: Max and Lessa role reversal? (Reminder that Max and Lessa are the main characters of my novel Polaris, explained in more detail here.)

Okay so, in this world, Max grows up Margaret Stone, with long hair and makeup and heels and money. She wants to strip off her skin. Lessa, full name unknown, on the other hand, is on the street at eleven and picked up by Sebastian McCoy, MD, on his way to Polaris’ newest base. She’s a little too timid to be a revolutionary, at first, but she takes to it like a duck to water after a little bit of an adjustment period.
Lessa never joins Mercury squad, she’s not cut out for life as a spy and she has no talent for hacking. Instead, when she’s fifteen she joins Mars squad, the strike team, and starts taking point on their operations, throwing bolts of electricity rather than bullets. She’s promoted to Mars Prime at nineteen, and she has a reputation for being the gentlest professional soldier anyone’s ever met.

There’s also a couple of stories about her blowing the power for whole city grids, or turning on the sprinklers in a building and using the water as a conductor to kill everyone on the floor.
Under Lessa, Ursa Major’s Mars squad gets a new nickname. Blitzkrieg. It means lightning war.

On the one hand, Polaris does a lot worse in this universe. Having a technopath to network a continent-spanning rebellion is invaluable, and without such an advantage, they lose lives, they lose bases, more than once they almost lose everything. There is no secure intranet linking their family of thousands, there is no safe way to smuggle those who don’t want to fight out of the country. Fight or die is the unspoken option given to every new recruit, and those few who are desperate enough to attempt to leave the country on their own learn how true it is. Polaris is harder, every base dependent on only itself, with no safe way to reach out for help, and its people are angrier, with an ever-growing ‘missing’ list of those who can neither be contacted nor confirmed dead.
On the other, Polaris does a lot better in this universe, because when Margaret is nine, she discovers that she can make any computer do anything she tells it to, just by touching it. When she’s twelve, and Lessa is still years from getting kicked out, Margaret starts funneling information from her father’s system onto a private hard drive so encrypted the NSA couldn’t crack it with their best men. She does research, lots of research, and hunts down a boy at her school whose family is on one of the lists. She tells him, warns him, and says, “Polaris. Go to Polaris. Take them this.” The moment the hard drive is connected to a Polaris system, their database is flooded with more national secrets than they’ve been able to get in a decade, every block of code signed with a simple MAX. Marshal North has to sit down, and she laughs and laughs until she’s breathless.
Margaret is twenty-two and ferocious with being trapped like an animal in a cage when she’s caught up in a Polaris operation. She gets taken hostage by a girl with long blonde hair and a grim look in her eye, one hand wrapped around her throat as the girl says, “Sorry, Miss Stone, but it is what it is. Tell your bodyguards to drop their guns, or I’ll put so much electricity through you you’ll wish you’d just been struck by lightning.”

Margaret bares her teeth and looks as wild as any of the rebels when she says, “If you take me with you, I can get you another load of my father’s data before we leave, and more that I’ve hidden around the city. it’ll make the hard drive look like nothing.”
The blonde girl is so startled she almost drops her hostage in a pile on the ground. “How did you–”
“I sent the first one.”
“Max,” Lessa breathes, and gives a feral grin of her own. “You’ve got a deal.”

Jul 11, 2016 5 notes

#au meme #polaris story #moran writes stuff #original work #FOR THE RECORD #NO #MAX'S REAL NAME IS NOT MARGARET #BUT MARGARET > MAGGIE > MAGS > MAX #GO WITH ME ON THIS #of course in the canon universe max is the one who grows up in the revolution #she leads mercury squad on espionage and intelligence missions #and she helps run polaris' tech division #whereas lessa sneaks information out of her father's house under the name 'taze' #she and max are very gay together that's it that's the plot #also i tend to think that max is...i dunno not totally binary i guess? #she feels sincerely kind of sick when she wears her hair long or has to put on a dress #after she joins polaris in this universe the first thing she does is get a bunch of military clothes and get a buzz cut #she's WAY happier that way #she's my angry bisexual baby and i'll fight you #and so will she #lessa will probably just kill you though #she gets good at using her lightning like a sniper rifle #yeah i love these superpowered girlfriends

Jul 11, 2016 25,847 notes

#star trek #let's boldly go motherfuckers #i'm dying #laugh rule

I can't help but feel that we are falling inline with themes played in V for Vendetta. Your thoughts? World events seem too coincidental, but there is no such thing as coincidence.

This is…a weirdly heavy question to just….get in Ye Olde Inbox, but okay, sure, we can talk V for Vendetta, I ain’t got shit to do.

Okay, to appreciate that I’m not just being a bitch here, you need to know that I’m not being funny when I call myself a cynic. I’m pretty serious about that, I consistently expect people to act selfishly and be generally unhelpful until/unless I know them pretty fucking well. @twistedangelsays (yoooo babe, back me up here) can confirm that my usual response to being told to depend on someone for help is to blink blankly and ask “but what would be in it for them to help me with this.” (Her usual response is “they’re your teacher, they’re literally getting paid for this,” but I’d like to kindly remind her that teachers at colleges get paid regardless.) The way I’ve described it several times in my tags is that I’m in love with humanity, and they don’t love me back, so I have a very peculiar view that’s half “God let’s just talk about the Voyager probe and random acts of kindness and the fact that we domesticated our primary predator” and half “I am genuinely not even surprised when people suck, and haven’t been in…forever, maybe.” It’s a very capital-R Romantic viewpoint, think Grantaire from Les Mis, I am Grantaire and Grantaire is me.

That being said, here are my current thoughts on the V for Vendetta thing.

V for Vendetta, or any other dystopian story on the lines of 1984 or Brave New World, presumes a level of competence on the collective scale that I just haven’t seen in the American government (I’m American, we currently have Clinton and a racist Cheeto duking it out for president, I’m usually better about being aware of the wider world but I am Very Concerned about the election, so the only thing that I really took note of was Brexit, I’m sorry, this is gonna be pretty US-centric.) Individually, I’m confident that many–um, some of our politicians and administrators are perfectly functional human beings with a high degree of competency, but I have yet to see that brought to the table in any sort of concerted effort. I remember a lot of government criticism way back when the Occupy movement was a thing revolving around “Well, they don’t have a goal” and that’s valid, I made that remark myself, but also…like, fucking hark who’s talking, Washington DC, what have you done with your life lately. So that’s the main thing, is that our government flat-out isn’t cohesive enough to execute a functional dystopia, we’re too much of a chaotic mess.
That being said, I don’t know how much that’s a positive thing. I mean, the lack of a genuine totalitarian regime (and conversations about whether or not America trends toward dystopianism can please delayed to a later date) is obviously a good thing, but the entropic decline toward chaos we’re witnessing in the clash between the rising generation of (largely) liberal mindset and the people in power, who are by and large interested in maintaining the status quo…that’s going to be REAL messy when it starts to break down. I mean, shit, it’s already breaking down, look around, read the news, and then maybe drink, ‘cause shit’s depressing. Who needs totalitarianism when you have what-the-fuck-ever this is.
This is more general, but I’m of the opinion that people are neither fundamentally good nor bad, but rather fundamentally people (that’s a bastardized Good Omens quote, it makes some EXTREMELY good philosophical points between the demonic/angelic antics and Four Bikers of the Apocalypse). As mentioned above, this means I assume a level of selfish behavior, particularly from those already in a position of power–power and wealth beget nothing so much as the desire to maintain one’s power and wealth. In addition, that translates to a fairly telescopic view on the world, in which one’s immediate loved ones (possibly including self) generally take absolute precedence over the abstracted ‘they.’ Soooo that translates into “the human capacity for precipitating disaster is boundless,” in Moran-speak.

Anyway. TL;DR: I don’t think much of people’s inherent capacity to be functional enough to run a V for Vendetta style dystopian system (this is also where a lot of conspiracy theories break down for me), but hey. I’m sure they’ll impress me with their skill at fucking everything up anyway. Let me take this opportunity to remind my American followers to vote against Trump, I don’t give a damn what you think of Clinton.

And if a revolution starts, I can shoot a gun and have medical qualifications in addition to a good tactical brain, fucking point me at the recruitment office.

Jul 11, 2016 10 notes

#asked and answered #anonymous #politics #uh #pessimism ahoy #i have literally zero faith in humanity's ability to conspire successfully all right #actually i take that back #i have literally zero faith in the ability of a government to conspire successfully #internally or with another government #yes that's much more accurate #i function in a constant state of kind of heartbroken over humanity all right sorry to have subjected you to it #also #adler and i are planning for the revolution in the event that such a thing happens #she's a negotiator and a linguist #i'm a fighter and a medic #between the two of us we're pretty useful

“You are not your wounds.”—Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
(via wordsnquotes)

Jul 11, 2016 11,092 notes

urbancityking:

jopara:
the fact that you can work full time in this country and still not afford to live disgusts me more and more every day
Everyone reblog this because it speaks volumes.

Also please note that it’s not “can’t afford insert thing about middle class here” it’s literally “can’t afford to LIVE.” Food, clean water, a roof, medicine, the basics. That is what that covers.

Jul 11, 2016 304,556 notes

silkshirtlesbian:

im here for women who’ve survived trauma and come out of the other end furious and spitting blood and im here for women who’ve survived trauma and ended up softer and smaller and less brave and im here for women who refuse to deal with their trauma, who fuck and fight and run, and im here for women in the middle of dealing with their trauma who cry on the floor one day and feel invincible the next im here for any woman who’s experienced trauma. you’re not handling it wrongly. you’re doing your best

Jul 11, 2016 82,422 notes

okay, so, an au where your ocs all work shitty retail jobs

Oh dear Christ. Okay, let’s see, I don’t make OC’s for fic as a rule, and my OC’s for my original writing all tend to be really aggressive people, this should be fun. I’ll just pick five at random.

Sam Lightworth, Horseman of Death and unwilling Antichrist and my fave: she’s the best salesperson in the house, no one is disputing this, she could sell light switches to the Amish and matchboxes in Hell so they’re not going to fire her, but she’s also on so much probation always. A short list of highlights from the notes in Sam’s file:

punched a customer in the nose for flicking water at her
found a customer rifling through the shirts she’d just spent an hour folding and almost broke their fingers
responded to a crying child by setting him on a shelf and telling him that if he wasn’t good she’d sell him (in her defense, it worked)
threw a grown man into a wall so hard she knocked him out when he tried to grab her ass (the manager doesn’t know how she managed it and doesn’t WANT to know, okay, he deals with too much shit to ask how she sent someone flying without a finger laid on them)
was found in store at opening with what looked suspiciously like a hellhound (there is a sign, okay, it’s very unambiguous, no pets allowed)

Max, no last name, my spy-slash-technopath from this novel: she used to work on the floor but she’s shit at selling things and only slightly better at giving directions, so they shoved her in a glorified janitor’s closet with the security system and told her to keep it running. She helps make sure there’s never any video evidence of Sam’s antics.

Gwynion, erstwhile Prince of the Unseelie Court and ex-assassination victim, because we need a guy in here somewhere: he’s very polite, which has him one up on Sam, and very efficient, which has him one up on Max, but he’s also…look, the manager isn’t accusing anyone of anything, but no one ever found that one woman who tried to grope Gwynion, okay, the manager’s not saying she disappeared. He’s just saying they never found her. There’s a difference.

Sephie, from this: honestly Sephie doesn’t deserve this, Sephie deserves better than this bullshit and these coworkers, she is a Normal Human trying to pay rent and she needs a drink. Nonetheless, she gets along famously with everyone and doesn’t mind working the register since Sam isn’t trusted to do it and Gwynion seems prone to causing equipment fry-age. Sephie is also gunning for the managerial position when their current boss inevitably caves, and stands to make a tidy sum in the pool given the newest hire.

Angharad “Harry” Ainsel, from this (parts are noted ‘first,’ ‘second,’ ‘third’): the new hire. The manager almost cried when she walked in, because no one who wanders around with that strange bone crown is going to be a good thing. She’s almost as good as Sam at the sales end of things, but she’s also making people sign things that don’t look like receipts and has offered to exchange two return items for changeling children. Also, the bike rack is for bikes, and the no pets allowed thing should cover the bike rack, as far as the manager knows, which means the warhorse is definitely contraindicated.

Bonus sixth headcanon: the manager quits within three weeks of Harry’s hire (with the apparent intent to move to Bangkok or somewhere similarly distant), Harry and Sephie shake hands as soon as Sephie’s signed her new managerial contract, and the Huntsmaster leaves in the middle of her shift and doesn’t come back to work. Sephie, when asked how she knows Harry and could she get Sam one of those nice daggers she carried, shrugs and says that her girlfriend has contacts.

Jul 11, 2016 5 notes

#asked and answered #speckeltail #au meme #moran writes stuff #original work #all these characters are my babies #i love them very much #they would be the worst people to work with or manage EVER #you've got a prince an antichrist (tbh sam was actually suppose to rule hell so she's sort of a princess) and a huntsmaster #please do read methods of inheritance if you're confused about the huntsmaster thing #fun fact #gwynion technically knows harry #or he knows the huntsmaster #because his mother appears in that story #methods of inheritance #sabbatical #polaris story #falls the shadow #emrys ascendant #sephie's girlfriend is 100% death by the way #harry's warhorse eats people #harry's job is to kill people it is what it is #i mean technically everyone here is either a professional killer or immediately related to a professional killer #if death counts as a professional killer #yeah #this should tell you a lot about the sort of thing i write i guess

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

buckygreyjoy:

published aus are right here, feel free to send me new ones!

Okay since I have actual existing AUs in my writing tag, what if I actually tried to do the 5 headcanons thing properly.

Jul 11, 2016 31,752 notes

#yeah totally #if you want to know more about a particular universe #hit me up #moran writes stuff

geekandmisandry:

aunt-mimi:
When somebody says that “a man likes to feel like a man,” all I hear is “A man likes to feel superior to you and it’s your job to make him believe it.”
Someone said this to me once, that a man needs to feel like a man, I replied “well I’m not stopping him” and had to watch this fragile creature try to explain to me that my strong personality could demean men.
Like, if I have to pretend you are a strong man and cater to that then clearly you’re not that strong dude.

Jul 11, 2016 191,156 notes

mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:
coffeeandklonopin:
carpe diem - seize the day
carpe noctem - seize the night
carpe natem - seize the ass
Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.
carpe collum - seize the neck

Jul 11, 2016 685,733 notes

#god bless #latin #linguistics #also #carpe jugulum (seize the throat) #carpe mutinium (seize the dick) #in case you wanted to get kinky i guess

Stealth History Lesson

buckygreyjoy:

words-writ-in-starlight:
I’m still watching Liberty’s Kids because REASONS and I watched an episode with Baron von Steuben, and I get why they didn’t include this in a kid’s show, but this dude is THE BEST PART of the winter at Valley Forge.
LET ME TELL YOU WHY, WITH ABUSE OF CAPS LOCK AND BAD LANGUAGE AND IRREVERENCE.
Okay, some background. Baron von Steuben was a Prussian baron who shipped his ass over to America in 1777 in order to help Washington whip the bunch of random farmers, miners, tradesmen, etc who formed the Continental ‘Army’ at the time into shape. He reached Valley Forge in early 1778 (after almost getting his own soldiers ARRESTED IN BOSTON because he accidentally outfitted them in red coats, honestly this dude’s life is just PRIME HISTORICAL COMEDY MATERIAL, someone get the fuck on that) and immediately made a name for himself as a complete–but effective!–wackjob. He would go outside in the middle of winter in full military dress and have all the soldiers (many of whom were lacking a coat and boots at the time, because the goddess of efficiency Martha Washington had not yet made her presence known) run drills from sunup to sundown, whereas most military commanders of the day were Pointedly Uninvolved in the messy day-to-day shit. He also continued the trend of having commanders who were still learning English (Lafayette spoke almost no English upon his arrival, for example), because when von Steuben reached America he spoke zero English and had to write all his orders in French and give them to either HIS aide de camp to translate or the aide Washington periodically lent him (fun fact: Lt. Colonols Hamilton and Laurens were his usual lent-out aides because they both spoke French).
NOW YOU HAVE SOME BACKGROUND AND WE CAN GET TO THE GOOD STUFF.

Keep reading
REMEMBER THE PANTSLESS FLAMING SHOTS PARTY
YEAH
(ALSO. it is possible Alexander Hamilton was there. it is SO possible.)

Actually hell yes, given Alexander Hamilton’s apparent proclivity to hitting on anything that stood still long enough and wasn’t either British or Jefferson, it’s frankly PROBABLE that, not only was he there, he probably dragged anyone who seemed willing with him. (John Laurens. I am saying he probably dragged Laurens. Valley Forge is a veritable cornucopia of delightful historical hypotheses. I hope you’re all braced for me to do my thesis next year and become VERY ANNOYING.)

Jul 11, 2016 173 notes

#history according to tumblr #history with moran #seriously i'm going to be a horrible pain in the ass #everything will be rambles about wars and battles and medicine and armies #...i have no regrets #that's me up there #hamilton #baron von steuben

Jul 11, 2016 120,304 notes

#ONCE AGAIN #*will smith pose* #THE WIFE

chrome extensions for disabilities masterpost

miscellaneon:

themkneesocks:
I have seen a lot of posts on here talking about individual extensions for chrome to help people, but I haven’t seen a place where they’re compiled together. So here you are!

font/text
no caps - Makes everything lower case
Open Dyslexic: changes the font to Open Dyslexic and makes it larger. Personal favourite.
Dyslexie: changes the font to dyslexie and allows change to font size and colour (blue). Can be turned off. (Doesn’t seem to work on facebook)
Font Changer: Allows you to change the font on specific website or on everything using a Google Font. I believe you can also upload your own, if there’s a specific font you need.
BeeLine Reader: Uses a gradient so your eye follows along one line to the next
overlays/colour change
Color Overlay - Irlen Filter for Chromebook: Puts a coloured overlay over the screen. can choose colour and opacity.
Sunglasses: Tints the screen grey to reduce contrast
Desaturate: Removes all colour and makes everything a greyscale
High Contrast: Change contrast or invert colour scheme
Deluminate: Similar to High Contrast, but tries to keep photos in tact
G.lux: Makes the colour of the display change depending on the time of day (also cuts down on blue light so it’s easier to fall asleep)
reduce visual distraction
Readability: Can change things such as margins, colours, etc… as well as reduce visual business
Ad Block Plus: blocks ads. What more needs to be said?
FlashControl: Stops flash animations running by themselves
Hide GIFS: Allows you to keep GIFS from displaying
Text Mode: Loads pages in black/white, covers images, with text only.
audio
SpeakIt!: Reads small section of highlighted text aloud
Chrome Speak: Reads small section of highlighted text aloud
Announcify: Reads full web pages. Warning: may stop in the middle of text or not read for the full thing.
A

Jul 10, 2016 85,334 notes

falsedetective:

falsedetective:
i’m absolutely screaming my 6th graders had to write essays about their favorite celebrities and one girl wrote hers about abraham lincoln
please remember that i don’t live in america, this is a 12 year old korean girl and when asked about her favorite celebrity her mind automatically jumped to the 16th president of the united states

Jul 10, 2016 198,505 notes

#i'm dying #laugh rule #i love epic tales

Jul 10, 2016 4,476 notes

#okay uncalled for #but gorgeous #okay #i'm fine #this is fine #HAMILTON/LAURENS #otp: i like you a lot #angelica/hamilton #otp: a bit of a dream #hamilton #the coalition of 'i'm in love with alexander hamilton and playing a major role at his wedding and it sucks' #i like to think angelica and laurens got drunk together afterward

maurypovichofficial:

I hope adding unnecessary question marks culture never ends because like??????? I really love it

Jul 10, 2016 228,477 notes

Jul 10, 2016 135,183 notes

buckygreyjoy:

okay guys, story time
when I was in about - third, fourth grade or so, I decided to tell everyone there was a ghost in the auditorium. now, this wasn’t too hard to do - the auditorium back then was huge and a little bit creepy when empty, and I’d been backstage plenty of times for various school things that I knew the layout well enough. also, I was not a very popular person, and ghost stories were the easiest way to get popular in my school.
so I said I saw a ghost. no details, I just said I saw a girl covered in blood at the top of the stairs backstage and ran out like my ass was on fire.
over the next year, the entire thing mutated until everyone was claiming that they’d seen the ghost and that they’d FIGURED OUT HER IDENTITY AND HOW SHE GOT THERE, and I was like, “what.”
which just goes to show that you should prob never underestimate the power of a story bc it’s STILL GOING to this day and made it onto a Facebook post that just crossed my feed.
guys. I made up the auditorium ghost. it’s fine, you can all come out now.

Jul 10, 2016 12 notes

#i love epic tales

Jul 10, 2016 632,171 notes

In the End

twistedangelsays:

Or, #Apocalypse
This is a short fiction piece inspired by this post.
#Apocalypse
It wasn’t funny.
But, then again, it kind of was.
Haley couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling up in her chest even as she felt a few tears escape and streak down her dark features as she posted what would probably be her last few Instagram photos ever.
Haley wondered if things like Instagram survived the end of the world. She suspected she wouldn’t be around to find out.
She glanced around the half destroyed street. No one wanted to die alone. Yet, here she was, her ankle pinned by wreckage. Even if the creature didn’t make a second sweep, she doubted she would survive to see search and rescue teams (was that something they even did after an entire city got destroyed?)
Haley closed her eyes, pretty convinced this was it. Her friends and family weren’t responding to text message, so either they were dead already or somewhere without cell service. She was going die. She resisted the urge to look up how long it takes to die from dehydration.
That’s when her smartphone chirped.
Her eyes flew open, unlocking her screen and glancing down at the likes piling up on Instagram. Her post was getting attention, people asking if she could take any more photos. Apparently she was one of the closest people to the giant, tentacle creature rampaging through New York City.
She shook her head, scrolling through the comments. Haley almost scrolled past it, but one in all caps caught her attention.
“EYO GIRL!! WHERE YOU AT???? TOM SAYS BASED ON THE ANGLE OF YOUR PHOTOS WE ARE CLOSE BY!!!”

Keep reading

Jul 10, 2016 14 notes

#story time #to all my new followers i'd like you to meet #*will smith pose* #the enjolras to my grantaire #the laurens to my hamilton #the steve to my bucky #THE WIFE #adler #also you should read her thing it's cute as fuck #(which should tell you more about what i find cute than maybe i'd like but whatever i don't give a fuck) #apocalypse #millennials

If you're a writer and you see this post, stop what you're doing.

hsavinien:

minim-calibre:
minim-calibre:
minim-calibre:
mark-helsing:
WHENEVER YOU SEE THIS POST ON YOUR DASH, STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND WRITE ONE SENTENCE FOR YOUR CURRENT PROJECT.
Just one sentence. Stop blogging for one minute and write a single sentence. It could be dialogue, it could be a nice description of scenery, it could be a metaphor, I don’t care. The point is, do it. Then, when you finish, you can get back to blogging.
If this gets viral, you might just have your novel finished by next Tuesday.
Goddamn it, it’s back.
If it stays back, I might manage to finish a third story this year. Jesus.
I swear, this is now my only writing motivation.
BACK AGAIN??? Sigh.
Okay, sorry if anyone gets sick of this, but it’s the best way for me to get myself to write.

Jul 10, 2016 181,775 notes

#whyyyyyy

Hamilton and, uh, idk hmm - STAR WARS AU. "pardon me, are you Master Burr, sir?" "that depends, who's asking?"

SHOWTIME.

So some thirty parsecs past the ass end of the galaxy there’s this tiny nothing planet that’s mostly ocean, and the planet is called Nevis, and one of its islands is called Christiansted, and if anyone who didn’t actually live there was asked to find it on a star map, they definitely couldn’t do it. This is where Alex is born and this is where his mother dies of some disease brought in by a trader and this is where he almost dies with her, almost dies in a hurricane that swallows the island whole, almost starves when his cousin eats a blaster, before someone notices that—kriff, but this kid is brilliant. Another trader gives him work and he proves rapidly that not only is he a dab hand with numbers, but he can blow through a five hundred page holonovel in a few hours and learn a language in a couple months.
His mother always said talking was his strong suit and now he’s proving it, because Alex has to be the best to survive, so that’s what he’ll do. He’ll talk, and he’ll write, and he’ll get off this rock if it kills him. He wants something to do, he wants to change the galaxy, and there’s something murmuring to him, like a whisper of wind, that he’ll do it if he can just get off Nevis.

Keep reading

Jul 10, 2016 21 notes

#hamilton #hamilton fic #star wars au #john laurens #alexander hamilton #fic request #asked and answered #buckygreyjoy #yeah this...this got away from me a bit? #and i realized halfway through that i totally didn't want to post a second ten page thing today #so instead there's just some accumulated headcanons at the end there #i really do have a lot of feelings about this though #this is BASICALLY just the revolutionary war in space with jedi #but yeah #gwash makes a pretty crap jedi i imagine #he puts up a really good front but they give him an out and he's like 'lol fuckin bye c'mon martha' #lams #otp: i like you a lot #i like eliza/hamilton a lot and angelica/hamilton a lot but i couldn't turn down the jedi-chastity-vows angst guys #i have a lot to say???? #help me???? #please do talk to me more though???? #why do i write like i'm running out of time #that's going to be my new warning tag for unnecessarily long shit #for real guys this can't be healthy i wrote this in like an hour or two #my historical smol rage brethren

Play

2:01

Jul 10, 2016 18,988 notes

We were lured by the fics ofc. That's totally why. Thanksies darling!

Oh my God, nonny, doll, you’re the cutest. I’m so glad you like my slightly deranged writing, you’re just. So nice. To me. What do I do with such nice people.

Jul 10, 2016 1 note

#asked and answered #anonymous #PEOPLE ARE TOO NICE???? #HOW DO I COPE WITH THIS???? #compliments are scary #but nice

Post your follower count right now

Jul 10, 2016 87,106 notes

#307 #and like 30 of you appeared in the last forty-eight hours #ARE YOU LOST #DO YOU THINK I'M AN ADULT #DO NOT BE FOOLED I AM A HUMAN DISASTER WHO WRITES MORE THAN IS HEALTHY

Jul 10, 2016 9,664 notes

#this is excellent yes #actual goddess of efficiency martha washington #history according to tumblr

lyinginbedmon:

johannesviii:
prokopetz:
One of my favourite anecdotes about the first Golden Age of Piracy is that, at one point, Captain Henry Morgan left England in one ship, and arrived in the Caribbean commanding a completely different ship, and nobody knows why. What happened to the first ship and how he acquired the second one are entirely unrecorded.
At some point in his short career (1715 until 1718), the English pirate Ben Hornigold attacked a sloop near Honduras just to steal all the hats of the crew, because his own crew had gotten drunk the night before and they had tossed every single one of their own hats overboard.
Bartholomew Roberts, arguably the most successful pirate in history by ships captured (a whopping 470 in 3 years), didn’t actually want to be a pirate. His ship was captured and he was forced to join the pirate crew.
After the original pirate captain was killed, he was democratically elected captain of the pirate crew less than 6 weeks after being captured by them.

^^^ In case you were curious: model for Dread Pirate Roberts, right there.

Jul 10, 2016 61,755 notes

#history according to tumblr #pirates #the princess bride

Jul 10, 2016 74,004 notes

#star wars #LITERALLY THOUGH

Fanfic Work-In-Progress Guessing Game

ourinquisitorialness:

Send me a word, any word, and if it’s in my WIP document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence or line it appears in.

Jul 10, 2016 5,233 notes

#i'm writing two fics and i have a third that i haven't started posting yet and i have three prompts to work on #definitely do this it'll be hilarious

Jul 10, 2016 120,304 notes

#fuck yeah #Millennials #like LOOK what the fuck do you want #if i have a goddamn smartphone you better believe i'll document the shit out of the apocalypse #historians will love our generation don't lie #the internet is forever

If you're still looking for fic prompts what about e/R and a secretly royalty AU? Or just anything with a fairytale type feel?

Okay I see what you’re saying there but WHAT IF WE DID BOTH??? This got so long, I’m sorry, I got overexcited about fairy tales and I wrote 5K in like a day. (No for real this is almost 5000 words, Jesus, self, what are you doing.)

Enjolras is a wished-for child, and he’s told as much every day by his mother, who bought his life with a few drops of blood on white silk in a gold embroidery hoop. From the minute he learns to talk, he’s as fair as the sun and as sharp as her needle, and his country adores their young prince with their whole heart. His mother Queen Lamarque is a good ruler and her Prince Consort is nice enough so all is well, and Enjolras grows up believing passionately in the rights of the people. His tutors despair of him as a monarch but are delighted with him as a politician—it’s very strange for everyone.

And then the Queen dies, and everything goes to pieces, because the dowager Prince Regent isn’t a ruler by nature and Enjolras is still too damned young to take her place and it’s all quite a mess. Vital government services are falling through, taxes are going uncollected or over-collected, the generals of the army are making warning noises about neighboring countries taking advantage of their weakened state, and everything is teetering on the edge of chaos.

Keep reading

Jul 10, 2016 35 notes

#exr #enjoltaire #les mis #les mis fic #grantaire #enjolras #otp: permets-tu? #moran writes stuff #asked and answered #fic request #ghostdog401 #yeah this is solidly ten pages i am sincerely so fucking sorry #i got overexcited #*facepalm* #why do i write like i'm running out of time #i seriously wrote this whole thing in under twenty-four hours #and in there i slept eight hours read an entire fic series and watched four hours of miraculous #i don't even know when i found the time to write this #what the fuck self #moran embraces her inner hamilton: news at eleven #okay so this was sort of supposed to be a snow white au and it turned into a revolution fic??? #i don't know #that happened #oh and in case anyone is curious cosette is locked up in the dungeon of the castle for helping eponine #they release her and she and marius fall in love and basically the end of it is that the west has hella strong treaties with everyone #because cosette and enjolras are good friends on account of her father basically managing enjolras' life #(that's literally what a manservant was for don't let your high-fantasy snob friends lie to you) #and enjolras and grantaire DEFINITELY get married okay #yep #this is a disaster oh well

ffs I was supposed to go to bed 4 hours ago and I got caught up in your writing and your blog... I have no self control...

Oh, dude, I want to say I’m sorry, I really do, but I’m just kind of flustered and smug. I’m really glad you (evidently) liked it, though, and I hope you got some sleep in there, eventually.

Jul 10, 2016 1 note

#asked and answered #anonymous #compliments are scary #but nice #and like nonny if it makes you feel better i also get caught up in my writing and stay up way past when i should #for example now i'm going to post a fic that i got overexcited about #and that sentence will make more sense

Stealth History Lesson

I’m still watching Liberty’s Kids because REASONS and I watched an episode with Baron von Steuben, and I get why they didn’t include this in a kid’s show, but this dude is THE BEST PART of the winter at Valley Forge.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY, WITH ABUSE OF CAPS LOCK AND BAD LANGUAGE AND IRREVERENCE.

Okay, some background. Baron von Steuben was a Prussian baron who shipped his ass over to America in 1777 in order to help Washington whip the bunch of random farmers, miners, tradesmen, etc who formed the Continental ‘Army’ at the time into shape. He reached Valley Forge in early 1778 (after almost getting his own soldiers ARRESTED IN BOSTON because he accidentally outfitted them in red coats, honestly this dude’s life is just PRIME HISTORICAL COMEDY MATERIAL, someone get the fuck on that) and immediately made a name for himself as a complete–but effective!–wackjob. He would go outside in the middle of winter in full military dress and have all the soldiers (many of whom were lacking a coat and boots at the time, because the goddess of efficiency Martha Washington had not yet made her presence known) run drills from sunup to sundown, whereas most military commanders of the day were Pointedly Uninvolved in the messy day-to-day shit. He also continued the trend of having commanders who were still learning English (Lafayette spoke almost no English upon his arrival, for example), because when von Steuben reached America he spoke zero English and had to write all his orders in French and give them to either HIS aide de camp to translate or the aide Washington periodically lent him (fun fact: Lt. Colonols Hamilton and Laurens were his usual lent-out aides because they both spoke French).

NOW YOU HAVE SOME BACKGROUND AND WE CAN GET TO THE GOOD STUFF.

Keep reading

Jul 9, 2016 173 notes

#baron von steuben #LOOK GUYS I LOVE THIS SHIT #history according to tumblr #history with moran #(that tag is going to be used A LOT once i start my thesis) #revolutionary war #hamilton #(it's going in that tag because apparently some of the aides de camp attended althought hey were pretty mute on which ones) #moran writes stuff #SORT OF? #BUT LIKE #THIS DUDE #TRAINED AN ENTIRE ARMY #LIKE IT WAS FUCKING NOTHING #IN LIKE SIX MONTHS #AND THREW THE NATION'S FIRST UNDERWEAR-ONLY KEGGER #AND IF THAT ISN'T THE BEST SET OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS I'VE EVER HEARD #I'LL BUY A HAT FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF EATING IT

Jul 9, 2016 457,841 notes

#i'm down #sure man

kimreesesdaughter:

immaculateimmortal:
shaethebanana:
ribbonsunraveled:
shaethebanana:
journey-to-my-throne:
kimreesesdaughter:
guywithamohawk:
kimreesesdaughter:
Let me tell y'all what my co worker does when her friends go on a date: She takes a picture of the person’s drivers license. She doesn’t delete it until her friend(s) return safely.
Everyone needs to be doing this!
I remember my first time picking my girlfriend up to go on a date, and I met her mom that day. She asked to see my ID to take a picture of it “just incase”
I had/have good* intentions so I was cool and went along with it. 😏
Yes!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾If someone gives me a hard time about taking a picture of their license, that’s a red flag.
Girl, I take their number, license plate (w flash so there’s no debate on the car color at night) and a last seen wearing photo, smh. All my girls coming back safe or I’m on that ass.
If he doesn’t drive, send your friend the location or address of where you the date is taken place. If you change locations, screenshot where y'all at and send it to them. Stay safe.
There is an app called glympse that will broadcast your location to whomever you choose for I think I max of four hours. It’s a little gps program and as your phone moves a little beacon will move with it on a map
Adding that right now^
Safety is important. This is the first I’ve heard of the taking a pic of his license. I just realized how weird I’d probably act in this situation and apparently it’d be seen as a red flag.
ALL OF THIS👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 BOOST!

Jul 9, 2016 38,190 notes

lesliecrusher:

the children these days being like………………what will happen when i grow up………what about fandom……
you will still have fandom! you’ll just check twitter on work breaks and write fic after you unload the dishwasher. you might get older but fandom stays the same age. your propensity to read fic does not vanish with age. where do you think all the best written fics from your fave fandom come from??? old as f*ck people. that’s where

Jul 9, 2016 3,294 notes

its-raining-watercolours:

ok but seriously, if something really small happened in your day and it made you really happy, but you don’t want to tell anyone bc you feel that it’s insignificant to everyone else tell me, message me that thing because nothing delights me more than enjoying other people’s tiny happinesses

Jul 9, 2016 41,953 notes

Jul 9, 2016 8,451 notes

Jul 9, 2016 440,223 notes

#recipe #recipes

Play

Jul 9, 2016 471,762 notes

#ALSO QUIITE LEGITIMATE #laugh rule

shabbosfemme:

I always want to hear you talk about your special interests. always. got a thing about Russian politics in the 1700s? tell me about it. know entirely too much about the mating habits of aquatic animals? nice, bro. can literally recite every Star Wars movie line-perfect? that’s fuckin impressive. even if I’m not personally interested in whatever it is you’re infodumping about, I’m happy that you’re interested and excited, and I’m willing to learn about things my loved ones care about

Jul 9, 2016 88,637 notes

Jul 9, 2016 252,296 notes

#i am not an art person #i have nothing to do with art #and yet i know what contrapposto is because of this post

Jul 9, 2016 126 notes

#solid life advice actually #puerto rican koala

Jul 9, 2016 23,476 notes

#punisher #frank castle #daredevil: a mess of saints and martyrs #i love epic tales

sonypraystation:

i really am a “text me if you need something” person. like unless i have something specific to talk about, i don’t usually initiate a conversation. if you wanna talk just to talk then im all here but dont take me not hittin you up as me not caring.

Jul 9, 2016 294,387 notes

#FOR REAL #like #look #i just...don't usually have shit to say? #i mean i have an opinion on everything but i just...yeah

Red and White

notbecauseofvictories:

sporkmetender replied to your post: Prompt me
Phasma meets Leia somehow and is unmasked during the meeting.

It was a strange quirk of stormtroopers, Leia thought—bury them under flat, white plasticine and all those human tics and weaknesses turned inward, were trapped under the skin; right up until the moment you removed the armor, when it came roiling to the surface, pressurized. She’d noticed it in Finn, a tendency to emote with his whole body and stare too long; drum his fingers on datapads and the edges of tables, move like a blaster shot. The crew of the captured Domitia did it too—she’d been watching them on the monitors for fifteen minutes, and she’d lost count of how many times they stalked the width and length of the cells, restless as animals.
If she had been another sort of woman, Leia might have taken heart that humanity persisted, even in the midst of profound darkness.
Instead, she was wondering whether their meager supplies would feed an extra fifty mouths, and what she was going to do when they wouldn’t.
(There was a voice at the back of her head whispering, do what is necessary do what will keep yours safe, eliminate them—
Leia had a great deal of practice ignoring that voice.)
Leia’s gaze wandered back to Captain Phasma as the woman made another circuit around her cell. There was something different about her—the particular way she held herself, maybe, or the washed-out light on her hair—and it stirred the deep recesses of Leia’s memory. “Buzz me through,” she said suddenly to Lieutenant Luo, who jerked upright in his seat.
“Um,” he answered eloquently. He looked at the door to the cell block as though expecting it to open under its own power. “Ma’am? Shouldn’t we wait for…”
Leia waited, curious as to how he was planning to finish that sentence. No one was coming, except whoever drew the short straw from Intel, and maybe Luke or Rey, when the stormtroopers (inevitably) refused to talk. The Resistance didn’t have interrogators, it barely had prison guards—she hadn’t thought there was a need for them, among her guerrilla hit-and-run pilots and ex-smuggler logisticians. First Order personnel didn’t walk away from a Resistance attack, as a rule; not even into prison cells.
”….someone,” Luo finished in a small voice.
“Buzz me through, Lieutenant,” Leia repeated, not unkindly. She liked Luo. It wasn’t his fault she hadn’t anticipated this, that the sight of all that white armor piled up on the duracrete had made her blood run hot and too-loud in her ears. It had taken Luke quietly nudging a memory at her (aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper) to remember she could breathe at all.
The red rage was still there, of course, thrumming through her blood, whispering eliminate them as it moved in her veins.
Leia breathed.
“Yes, General,” Luo said, and buzzed the door open.

Keep reading

Jul 9, 2016 285 notes

#WOW AM I INTO THIS #general leia #moran becomes a tremendous fan of general leia organa: news at eleven #star wars #tfa