I want to write a fic where Lilo goes to college and her roommate is Boo from Monsters Inc. Boo is the first person to think Stitch is adorable and cuddly, and Lilo is the first person not to act like “Mike Wazowski” was a weird name for a goldfish. They get on like a house on fire which is kind of bad for Nani’s blood pressure.
But then one night they wake up in the middle of the night because something is in their closet. And the door starts to creak open so Stitch tackles whoever (whatever) is in there. They fall back into the closet, the door slams shut… and when Lilo runs over and opens it there’s nothing but an empty closet.
Then Boo tells Lilo all about this weird thing that happened to her when she was a kid, and how no one ever believed her but she knows it was real.
And cue Lilo and Boo busting into the Monster world to rescue Stitch and wreaking mad havoc in the process.
SEE THIS IS A WORTHY SEQUEL
This needs to happen
Petition for the movie to be hand-drawn in Lilo and Stitch’s style when they’re in the human world, and computer animated once they go through the door into the monster world.
They find a book written in Latin… one guy doesn’t take Latin and doesn’t want to mess up the pronunciation. The girl is studying Mandarin. Another guy recommends sticking it into Google Translate but that’s likely to land them with gibberish. They leave it alone.
The car won’t start. They call an Uber.
The vampire captures the girl and insists that she wears the gown to dinner. The gown is actually hella cute. Only problem is it’s not in her size. Oh, it only comes in 2’s and 4’s? Sorry, vamp, you want me in that dress you contact the goddamn company and tell them to get their shit together.
“How did you possibly know that? It saved our lives!” “I’ve got two degrees and I spend way too much time on Wikipedia.”
They encounter a spirit that gains power the more people believe in it. One girl makes a vine and uploads with, “fakest ghost ever!!! Right??” Twenty minutes later the spirit is destroyed.
The circus is in town tonight. Except she’s lived her whole life here and the circus has never come before… it’s also in a pretty sketchy part of town, not somewhere you’d want to walk alone at night. She goes to a movie instead.
“You’d need an ARMY to fight this evil!” “Okay. I’ve got 20,000 followers, lets see how many can make it.”
The Evil Whispery Voice of Doom tells the jock that it’s going to kill his pretty blonde girlfriend. The jock gets offended because, excuse me, Cindy and I are just friends. However, Marty over there is my boyfriend and I’m not saying you should kill him, just stop making assumptions yeah?
“This spirit tried to convince me it was Jerry when it texted but its texting style is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT so yeah that didn’t work.”
We could have easily gotten lost and ended up at some creepy cabin in the woods, but luckily we all had functioning GPSs. Beach party, we’ve arrived!
“We have to find a way to destroy it! We—what are you doing?” “Looking up ‘exorcising demons’ on Google. Oh look, first hit.”
The child she bares will be the devil’s spawn. Good thing she doesn’t want kids. Or if she changes her mind she can always adopt.
“How can we possibly outwit this serial killer…” “… There’s gotta be an app for that. Lemme look.”
Only the virgin will survive… Turns out they’re all virgins. One is asexual. One wants to wait until marriage. Two just haven’t found the right person yet. One is meh about sex. So we all survive, yeah?
The girl does not fall. She was on varsity track.
“Quick! We need someplace to hide the artifact. And then decoys to confuse the beast! What have we got?” “… I’ve got a hundred plastic bags stuffed into another plastic bag.” “PERFECT.”
So, earlier this summer, I worked at a theme park out of the country as part of an internship. It was a really good experience and, for the most part, I had fun. There were a few things I disliked about the job–pushy management, overzealous crowds, etc.–but that’s with every job.
Anyway, this place was was really hot and humid, and guests would get tired of walking and being out in the sun. The park was kind’ve like Animal Kingdom at Disney World in that we had animals and rides.
Okay, I’m getting off track. Well, shortly after I arrived, I went from working as a feeder (things happened and that was nooot the job for me. Long story short, I almost lost my arm. Yeah.) to a ride attendant. All I did was let people through and tell them to have a good time & be safe.
Well, one day, I’m letting people through when I get a phone call. I had just let two kids through when the phone rang. I was told there was an emergency, and I had to stop letting people on the ride and direct all guests to the front entrance.
I hang up and look at the crowd. Great. Long ass line. I told them the ride was cancelled and they got PISSED. I tried explaining that I just worked there and didn’t make the rules…nope. Not working.
Anyway, long story short, a lot of people got eaten by dinosaurs, and I don’t recommend working at Jurassic World
(I literally read this entire thing thinking omg does this person work at fucking Jurassic World. 😂😂😂😂 nice one.)
ok but dead poets society remake with an all female cast
dead poets society remake where halfway through the term the girls realise it’s bullshit that their curriculum has them focusing on dead white male poets, and the teacher secretly starts bringing Angelou and Plath and Jordan to their meetings and bucking the required curriculum, and that’s why she gets fired, because she dared to care about something other than men, and her students are so grateful for what she’s just given up to teach them about liberation that they stand on their desks and declaim Erica Jong’s “For All Those Who Died” and she leaves knowing she’s educated a generation of women who will effect positive change in the world
you know this feeling when you watch any harry potter movie and hedwig’s theme begins to play or you read any of the books and you read the first sentence and you just get this harry potter feeling like you’re finally coming home and everything around you just melts away and you get lost in the most comforting way
Don’t ever let anyone convince you that getting your eyebrows done, is strictly feminine, i complimented a 6'4 200 lb football player on his eyebrows before and he replied with “ thanks i just got them done i love how my skin looks really clear afterwards” and we had a discussion on the a importance of eyebrows and some fuckboy sitting by me responded with “ wtf steven you get your eyebrows done? That’s so gay!” And he respond with “ yeah i do , do you have a problem with that?!!” (Note he is a jock who is the tallest boy in my junior class and intimadates most teacher’s with his height ) and right away the fuckboy shut up , and after hearing us talk about eyebrows a couple other boys opened up, and joined in our conversation about how confident they feel after they get their eyebrows done ….. conclusion: fuck gender roles you go boys, you can still be as masculine as you want to be , AND have your brows fleeking and fuck anyone who tells you otherwise!!!
I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”
You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!
Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??
I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong
I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy
I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated
In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances
I Declared That This Couldn’t Possibly Be Soy Sauce, And I Was Wrong. I Regret The Error.
if you ever try to befriend me and you expect to be in frequent contact with me i am so sorry. i do that with maybe two people and even then i often go days or weeks without saying anything before talking daily for a while.
the point is if we dont talk that doesnt mean i dont like u and think about u a lot im just terrible at maintaining close relationships
when did tumblr collectively decide not to use punctuation like when did this happen why is this a thing
it just looks so smooth I mean look at this sentence flow like a jungle river
ACTUALLY
This is really exciting, linguistically speaking.
Because it’s not true that Tumblr never uses punctuation. But it is true that lack of punctuation has become, itself, a form of punctuation. On Tumblr the lack of punctuation in multisentence-long posts creates the function of rhetorical speech, or speech that is not intended to have an answer, usually in the form of a question. Consider the following two potential posts. Each individual line should be taken as a post:
ugh is there any particular reason people at work have to take these massive handfuls of sauce packets they know they’re not going to use like god put that back we have to pay for that stuff
Ugh. Is there any particular reason people at work have to take these massive handfuls of sauce packets they know they’re not going to use? Like god, put that back. We have to pay for that stuff.
In your head, those two potential posts sound totally different. In the first one I’m ranting about work, and this requires no answer. The second may actually engage you to give an answer about hoarding sauce packets. And if you answer the first post, you will likely do so in the same style.
Here’s what makes this exciting: the English language has no actual punctuation for rhetorical speech–that is, there are no special marks that specifically indicate “this speech is in the abstract, and requires no answer.” Not only that, it never has. The first written record of English (actually proto-English, predating even Old English) dates to the 400s CE, so we’re talking about 1600 years of having absolutely no marker whatsoever for rhetorical speech.
A group of teens and young adults on a blogging website literally reshaped a deficit a millennium and a half old in our language to fit their language needs. More! This group has agreed on a more or less universal standard for these new rules, which fits the definition of “language.” Which is to say Tumblr English is its own actual, real, separate dialect of the English language, and because it is spoken by people worldwide who have introduced concepts from their own languages into it, it may qualify as a written form of pidgin.
Tumblr English should literally be treated as its own language, because it does not follow the rules of any form of formal written English, and yet it does have its own consistent internal rules. If you don’t think that’s cool as fuck then I don’t even know what to tell you.
Tumblr English isn’t quite different enough to be its own language [yet? maybe give it a hundred years], but it’s absolutely a dialect. What’s interesting, though, is that it’s a written dialect. Along with all the various specialised and slang terms and usages, Tumblr English has its own grammatical and stylistic quirks that only show up in how punctuation and capitalisation is used.
Up until very recently, nearly all written English was assumed to be either formal English or a record of colloquial spoken English, and it’s only with the advent of the internet that written English is developing separately from spoken English as its own form of the language.
Sure, people communicated casually via written English before the internet, but not to the same extent. I have friends with whom I use written English exclusively, and so instead of written language being a stand-in for or transcription of the speech we’d normally use, it is the speech we normally use. I think this says something really interesting about languageb – language isn’t necessarily as dependant on sound as a lot of people might assume (I’m sure there’re some really interesting parallels to be made between internet written English and various sign languages, but I don’t speak any sign languages so I’m not in a position to really see them).
HEY KIDS. So, I’m a makeup artist, but I’m also a feminist and a vegetarian and an animal lover, so sometimes it’s hard to find beauty products that don’t make me cry inside. Well GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. There’s an incredible cosmetic company called Colourpop that is just like, the most beautiful shit in the world.
They sell the most AMAZING creamy mousse (WATERPROOF!!) eyeshadows that will set as a super beautiful glittery sparkly magical shadow, but will also blend out like a regular powder shadow. (They have matte shades too but their glittery and metallic shades are THE SHIT) They also have INCREDIBLE lipsticks, lipliners, highlighters, bronzers, blushes, and liquid lipsticks. They’re all cruelty-free, made in the USA, and most of them are vegan. (There’s a list of the non-vegan products in their FAQ.) And wait for this, because it’s almost too good to be true:
NOTHING THEY SELL COSTS MORE THAN 10 DOLLARS.
TEN. DOLLARS.
Their lipsticks, lipliners, and eyeshadows are all only 5 DOLLARS EACH. It’s honestly the most radical shit. And then to top all of this unbelievable beauty off, they show all their swatches and ads with REAL WOMEN OF COLOR, so you can see what their products will look like on people who aren’t just pale white women.
I honestly can’t recommend this brand enough. They’re so incredible and when I got my package, I even got a little handwritten note. Everything is reeeeally high quality. Their products are all as good as the $60 shit you find at sephora, only it’s cheap, cruelty-free, and made in the USA. What more could you want, honestly?
What men don’t understand is that women are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE of underage girls because we remember when we were young and some adult man made us uncomfortable or manipulated us or was inappropriate with us and we were powerless.
That other post seems to be for people with money. But you don’t have money. So what do you actually need for your first apartment?
A bed. Not an air mattress. Not a blanket fort. Not a mattress pad with a fitted sheet over it. An actual bed. You’re going to try to avoid it, especially if you live in a city where bed bugs mean not buying a mattress from Craigslist. Beds cost money (unless you can take the one from your childhood bedroom, in which case, do that and use the couch when you visit home). But fuck it, you need one. If you’re desperate, you might go with a futon, but the futon you can afford will break with the quickness. You might also go with a mattress on the floor, which seems like a good idea until it suddenly seems really dirty, which is because mattresses need air flow to stay dry and sanitary. If you don’t have a box spring and don’t want to drop the $40 on a cheap bed frame, you can use these guys to build a platform, and if you find plastic drawers the same height, you can even build some storage in there.
A dresser. You will try to find a way around this. It will end up with your floor covered in clothes within a week. Just find a dresser on Craigslist or go to your local auction (a great place to find cheap furniture in general). And don’t buy a cheap dresser to build yourself from K-Mart or Wal-Mart, because it will break and it will likely be more expensive than a Craigslist/auction dresser anyway.
A TV. It doesn’t have to be new or huge or advanced. But you want a TV. Don’t try to skip the TV for something more trivial. You’ll regret that quick.
A couch. Specifically, an old, comfortable couch. One you don’t mind falling asleep on or letting guests sleep on. Don’t spend a lot of money. Couches will find you. Don’t overthink it. It’s your first apartment. Nobody expects you to have a perfectly curated adult home. Just get a comfy fucking couch. And if you get two, you can use cinder blocks to make stadium seating in your living room!
A table. You will ruin it, so get a shitty one. Learn your lessons on something cheap and disposable.
A full(ish) kitchen set. If these things don’t appear from your parents or your roommates’ parents, you need to buy a pot and pan set, silverware, a silverware organizer, at least one sharp knife (and let’s be honest, you’re gonna want a knife block and they’re only like $11), at least one mixing bowl, a colander, a cutting board, a couple of storage containers, plates, bowls, glasses, and mugs. You’ll figure out what else you need as you need it, based on your own kitchen habits. A lot of this can be picked up at the dollar store if you have one near you. And if you don’t bake often, disposable baking pans are your friend.
Hand soap, dish soap, wash-your-ass soap. Nobody likes poor hygiene. You also need toothpaste and floss. And deodorant.
Flashlight and candles (nothing fancy). In case something goes wrong.
A plunger. In case something goes really wrong.
A toilet brush. Your momma probably never let the toilet form rings (or let you let that happen), so it might come as a shock how quickly and easily those shits form.
A shower curtain and liner. Or even just the liner. Don’t get the floor wet.
Sponges. You have no idea how many sponges you’ll need.
The rest, you’ll stack over time, but these are the things you need.
Thrift shops and charity shops may have silverware and pots and pans for cheap, as well as furniture, sheets, etc.
When buying used furniture: look in the cracks and under the edges for pin-sized brown/black spots. Bedbugs are tiny and they live in upholstery and any wood with enough crevices to allow it. You almost certainly won’t be able to see the bugs themselves, but they leave little spotted trails along seams and in places that don’t see a lot of light. You cannot get them out of furniture; it’s not worth the extreme measures it takes to do it.
Also, don’t forget laundry detergent and a rubbish bin and bin liners. Rubbish, laundry, and dirty dishes are 90% of the mess in a messy home and 99% of bad smells. Keep up with them and your home will always be at least clean-ish.
Oh, and bleach is a good cheap substitute if you can’t afford specific cleaners for your toilet, tub, vinyl counters/floor, etc., but test it on a small spot to make sure what you’re cleaning can handle it, dilute the fuck out of it, and never use it on wood or mixed with dish liquid. Use white vinegar or diluted Pine-sol for mirrors, glass, and sealed wood floors.
For serious, thrift stores and yard sales are the best places to go for lamps and kitchen stuff. My first apartment was full of so-ugly-they’re-awesome goodwill lamps, my sister’s first-apartment silverware, a box of old mugs a lady from church gave my mom and a toaster oven as old as time, no one’s quite sure where it came from.
Pool around from friends, your friends’ parents, jump on yard sales. Like I’ve learned that it’s STILL more worth it to buy wine glasses at yard sales, those fuckers get broken, don’t ever spend more than 50 cents on ‘em.
Also, NETWORK. Tell people you’re moving into your own place and if they know somebody looking to get rid of furniture/kitchen inventory/white goods, to let you know. Sometimes people have relatives who are moving smaller/to retirement communities/passed away - and their house needs to be cleared out. There’s often a lot of practical stuff (fridge, microwave, kitchen ware, furniture) that’s too old to sell and sometimes people are very happy if that stuff can help you out, especially if you can come take a load of it off their hands.
sounds crude but it can be a mutually beneficial thing
i fucking love fanfiction like it literally caters for every need, whether you’re wanting 2k of cute couples snuggling on the sofa, a thing of epic length with an awesome plot or a piece of writing that is literally just pages of your favourite characters banging each other whoever invented fanfiction is my fave
I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:
Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.
Think about it.
Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.
Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.
They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.
Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.
The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.
Hello humans of tumblr. I have a problem: her name is Hershey. She’s my cat. She’s been living with my parents since I moved out to live with my significant others - in an apartment complex that doesn’t allow pets. Now my parents are moving across the country, and they are resolved not to take her with them. This is because she has a tendency to pee indoors. But if I don’t find her a new home, they’re going to have her put her down.
She’s about 8 years old, very healthy and very sweet - I’ve literally never met a better lap cat. If you know anyone in the Bay Area who might be willing to take a chance on a problem cat, maybe PM me? I am a bit desperate. She’s dear to me and I want to make sure I did everything I could to try and save her
hermione was the sister harry never had and she was there for him when he was being a fuckup (and he was there for her when she was HEARTBROKEN over RON TWICE)and to say that they should’ve ended up together just cheapens what i think is one of the best friendships in the series
SO YOU ALL KEEP SAYING YOU WANT A SHOW WITH REPRESENTATION RIGHT? WELL YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU DID WITH STEVEN UNIVERSE AND DO IT WITH SENSE8. IT ISNT GOING TO BE RENEWED UNLESS IT GETS MORE POSITIVE REVIEWS AND PUBLICITY AND ITS IS CHOCK FUCKING FULL OF REPRESENTATION
YOU WANT GAY REPRESENTATION? YOU GET IT EXPLICITLY
NOT ONLY THAT BUT THE SHOW DEALS WITH COMPLICATED ISSUES LIKE GENDER INEQUALITY AND HOW FEMALES STRUGGLE TO GAIN THE SAME RESPECT AS MALES AND ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS STORYLINES REVOLVES AROUND THIS FEMINIST ISSUE
LONG STORY SHORT THIS IS LITERALLY THE SHOW ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR SO PLEASE WATCH IT BECAUSE IT NEEDS MORE PUBLICITY IF ITS EVER GOING TO GET CONTIUED. WATCH SENSE8
Sense8 is basically what would happen if Tumblr created a TV show. Watch it. Love yourselves. Also love Sun the BAMF, Capheus the Cinnamon Roll, Nomi the Activist, Wolfgang the Protective Criminal, Kala the Smart Cookie, Riley the Music Loving Drifter, and my son Will the Puppy.
I’ve noticed that Minion bath products are a thing, and that many of them are banana-scented.
The fragrance used to impart a banana scent is called isoamyl acetate. Isoamyl acetate is also an alarm pheromone in bees. It’s released when a bee stings something/someone, prompting other bees to sting the same target.
The Minion shampoo has mysteriously infiltrated my house, and my youngest sibling (the only one who uses it) has not been stung since its appearance, but I wouldn’t count on anecdotal evidence…
If you have an allergy to bee stings, I strongly recommend choosing a different scent.
I’m a chemist and I found out I’m allergic to bees after working with isoamyl acetate and being stung twice on my way home from work. Do not use isoamyl acetate as a fragrance and especially not on children, which Minions are marketed to.
Please please please not on children. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
I started going to the dojo when I was in sixth grade. It was a very masculine environment; there weren’t a lot of other girls there but the male senseis who ran the place were great guys and they genuinely loved having female students because we were such a rarity.
Now back in sixth grade I was tinier even than what I am now, and now I’m only 5’2. Then I was probably even under 5’0. I mean I was a squirt of a kid. But I loved to fight; I loved to be in the ring, I loved the adrenaline rush and I loved having punches hurled at me. It was fun for me. Our dojo did full-contact sparring, which was pretty brutal. These were the only rules:
you must wear a mouth guard and gloves
no hits below the belt
That’s pretty much it.
Anyway every Thursday was Fight Night, where all we did was spar each other. And on my First Night Sensei Diven—who has since passed, bless his soul—paired me up with this really cocky and assholish brown belt to show me the ropes a little. This brown belt kid was bigger than me by a lot; he must have been at least six feet and twice my weight. But man was I excited to get into the ring! I had a fight boiling in my blood.
Now, Sensei Diven was not a stupid man and he hated high-ranking kids that showed a bad attitude. This kid had a bad attitude. So he must have seen the evil gleam in my eye from a mile away and decided it was time for a little improvisation.
Anyway, Sensei yelled, “Start!” and I leapt into fight stance and the other kid didn’t even put his hands up. He was laughing at me, sneering, the whole nine yards. “I’ll give you a free one.” he joked, and he slapped his side. “You barely weigh 100 pounds and you’re a girl. So go ahead, little girl. Hit me.”
And I hit him. I cocked my leg up as high as it would go and roundhouse kicked him right in the ribs with all of my might and all of the contempt I felt for his stupid cocky face which was covered in ugly-ass freckles and his nasty-ass braces. And I heard a crack. Like a real snap! sound. And the kid has a look of surprise on his face like it was nobody’s business, and then he goes right to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
Now, Sensei Diven leisurely strolls over from the group of black belts who are laughing their asses off at me, the tiny little white belt, sending my Goliath to the floor. I mean they’re laughing so hard they look like they’re about to pee themselves. They think it’s a game. And in his great booming voice he hollers:
“Brown Belt! Why are you on the floor? Do you not see this white belt has been assigned to fight you?”
And meanwhile he is just crying. I broke one of his ribs.
And Sensei Diven just squats down next to this poor kid and whispers, “Don’t you know that women are made of pain?”
I LEARNED RECENTLY THAT PLATO WON THE GOLD MEDAL IN THE OLYMPICS FOR WRESTLING THREE TIMES. THIS PUTS A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS. I ALWAYS IMAGINED PLATO TO BE FRAIL AND MISSHAPEN BUT HE MUST HAVE BEEN FRICKEN RIPPED. I WONDER IF ARISTOTLE EVER FELT ANXIETY ABOUT GETTING PHYSICALLY (I.E. NOT JUST METAPHYSICALLY) DISMANTLED BY PLATO. PLATO WAS PROBABLY PISSED OFF BY AT LEAST A HANDFUL OF QUESTIONS ARISTOTLE ASKED HIM. ARISTOTLE WAS A LITERAL GENIUS TOO. IMAGINE PLATO LECTURING AND WRITING ON A BLACKBOARD AND ARISTOTLE THROWING A COMMENT OUT THERE ABOUT SOME COMPLEX MISSTEP IN PLATO’S LOGIC AND PLATO’S CHALK JUST SNAPS AND ARISTOTLE’S TESTICLES SUCK WAY BACK UP TO WHERE THEY DROPPED FROM, THEN PLATO IN A BLUR APPEARS BESIDE ARISTOTLE SITTING AT HIS DESK AND HE PICKS HIM UP AND SUPLEXES HIS MACEDONIAN ASS.
given the content of a lot of Plato’s conclusions I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Plato responded to a lot of reasonable criticisms with “Fight me” and that was the end of it.
ANOTHER FUN PLATO FACT
People think of Plato as kind of feeble because we think of philosophers that way, but some historians believe that we have conclusive evidence that he wasn’t
and it’s been staring us in the face the whole time.
Because Plato’s real name wasn’t Plato - it was Aristocles.
So some historians believe that ‘Plato’ was a nickname, bestowed upon him by his buddies. And do you know what Plato roughly translates to when you flip it out of greek? Broad. As in, broad shouldered.
This guy’s been going around with a name that literally means ‘Buff McWrestleton’ and we still think of him as a feeble old guy (probs. because Aristotle wanted us to…)
my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat
For those who may genuinely not know—since the media likes to make sure you don’t—John is the chosen name of the Jolie-Pitt child the media refers to as Shiloh. Angelina first noticed signs of transness in John when he was about three and angrily refused to wear pink or dresses, insisting they were “for girls” in language that separated himself from “girls” as a group. Angelina and Brad chose to do the appropriate thing and ask John what kind of clothes he would like to wear and what he would like to be called. He chose his own name, and chooses his own clothes and haircut.
As a result of this Brad and Angelina have faced severe media backlash, including accusations that they are not fit parents and media support of Brad’s mother, who forcibly dresses John in girls’ clothes when he visits her. The Jolie-Pitts are doing everything they possibly can to affirm to their son that his identity is valid (including Angelina recently restricting Grandma’s access to him on the basis that her son’s mental health is more important than his grandmother’s self-righteousness), and the media is doing everything it possibly can to say they’re wrong.
Support the Jolie-Pitt children and parents, and remember that his name is John, and he is a boy.
I don’t know how many of you guys know about it but this new movie, “Mad Max” just came out and has already reached critical acclaim. I haven’t seen it , but it’s supposed to be this groundbreaking masterpiece and a huge step for feminism. Which is all good and dandy In theory. But on tumblr there’s been a lot of criticism because the ALL white cast (with the minor exception of Zoe Kravitz). One of the most frustrating things about these types of movies and conversations is that there’s ALWAYS these white feminists that want to tell POC that we have to overlook lack of diversity and basically “take one for the team” (the team being feminism/woman). No. I’m not going to do it. It is fucking disrespectful and borderline racist for you, a white person, to tell minority women that we have to ignore not being represented.Since turning 18 and starting to really think about racism and the media, it is especially uncomfortable for me to watch movies and tv shows with NO people of color. This world is mostly non white and it simply doesn’t make sense for our media to not represent it.And as for feminism, this is not the first time this has happened. When Girls came out, minority women were expected to ignore the show having an all white cast because it was written and directed by Lena Dunham. And anyone who dared to not ignore this issue was considered “non progressive”. This is why I don’t identity as feminist. Because this is unacceptable. It’s unacceptable for these huge steps for feminism to not include people of color. And if you’re white and telling people to get over it, you’re a part of the fucking problem.
Okay, I don’t want to take away from some really great points you’re making about how white feminism often downplay or outright dismiss the representation of women of color, especially in discussions of mainstream media WOC are often silenced or ignored.
However, I need to point a few errors that are a common form of microaggression that I see pop up all the time in intersectional discussions of representation, specifically in regard to the recognition of indigenous women of color.
There are THREE women of color in Mad Max Fury Road. Zoe Kravitz (which you already listed), but also Courtney Eaton and Megan Gale. Eaton and Gale are biracial Maori women. The presence of Polynesian women in this film and a fictional future are incredibly important on multiple levels.
The Mad Max films are set in a post-apocalyptic Australia. In fact, the franchise began as Australian films, George Miller the writer/director/creator of this world is Australian. This is not merely a geographic location, but an important cultural context for the films.
What’s important about the location and the presence of Polyneisan women within this future world is how their very roles reflect the history of colonialism in the Pacific region. Polynesian people were forced to relocate, our cultures and even identities erased. Many of us are biracial and our own ethic identity are often erased due to a form of cultural genocide that was not unlike what was done to Indigenous people of the Americas.
Polynesian women have long been viewed as tokens of exotic beauty. Taken as trophies, and forced in to sex work. Not unlike Fragile. Some, like The Valkyrie who actively fought against colonial oppressors. While Zoe/Toast is biracial black and Ashkenzai jew, she two represents an aspect of WOC’s journey through white supremacy and colonialism which was the driving force behind the trans-atlantic slave trade.
Polynesians often are erased, or mistakenly seen as white passing often because White Western culture only teaches how to see black or white, ignoring or wholesale erasing all the many colors in between. One of the really ugly truths behind why so many indigenous people are “white passing” is because of the long legacy of us being raped by white oppressors. Many of us only being valued as “pretty” sexual objects for the enjoyment and consumption of white men.
There is a BIG difference between being white passing and having your ethnicity erase from mainstream awareness. People, even POC, default code Polynesian women as white because they only SEE the parts of our features that are stereotypically viewed to be “white.”
I immediately recognizing Fragile and The Valkyrie as women of color, and was deeply moved about how their presence and individual roles in this film reflects the struggles of many indigenous women throughout history and to see them empowered and fighting back against their oppressors made my heart soar.
Also there ARE other people of color in the film, though by virtue of the dominate culture in the film being literally white male supremacy, the only men of color we see are in the lowest cast of society. Not uncommon in colonialism either, given how white men see MOC as a threat to their power and masculinity.
My only real complaint about race in this film is the lack of Indigenous Australians in leading roles. There are a few of them crowd shots of the Citadel’s lower class, and at the end of the film we see a disabled Indigenous Australian man become the focus of a full two second shot, acting as the face of the oppressed class as he is quite literally is lifted up to salvation by women of color.
There are powerful visual moments in this film, that tell not just a story of punching down the patriarchy, but of the dismantling of colonial oppression where indigenous women play key roles in the fight and future of the world.
So please don’t steal this context from the these women. It is very important to many women of color.
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU
I’m a Maori woman and it means so much to me to hear someone say FINALLY point this out. I wanna say this to ALL of tumblr so LISTEN UP!
The line between POC and White is very blurred in my culture. There are no ‘full’ Maori left, so everyone is biracial. I wanna point out that this is a very old way of thinking, as nowadays if you’re Maori then that’s it. YOU. ARE. MAORI.
No matter what you look like, you are Tangata Whenua (people of the land). But I’ll be using it to get my point across.
There are people with all sorts of different skin colours in my culture now and It makes me SEETHE whenever I see comments like the op. How DARE you dismiss ANYONE FROM A CULTURE THAT ISN’T EVEN YOUR OWN, just because you have been taught to only see in black and white and you can’t accept the fact that they’re from said culture JUST because they don’t ‘look like it’.
For us, having people with dark skin, light skin and everything inbetween is NORMAL and we don’t question it.
So don’t you DARE say that those beautiful woman in that film ‘DON’T COUNT’ We aren’t just some three letter word that you can label us with at your convenience. ‘PoC’ is not some super secret club. You don’t get to decide who is Maori and who is not. So you take that racist BS and shove it because we’re not interested. Especially when it is coming from someone who knows nothing about our culture and the people in it.
Also, I know your intentions were good but PLEASE don’t refer to us as ‘white-passing’ as it’s just another way to isolate people within their own culture. We are Maori. End of story.
(emphasis mine)
Co-sign from this NZ-raised Polynesian woman.
We’re all mixed here. All of us. It’s so normal that we don’t put a freaking percentage on it and we realise that heritage and ethnicity is more than the colour of your skin, your particular shade of brown or how ‘ethnic’ your features are. It’s what you are.
One of my favourite parts of this movie was to see my people on a movie screen. It’s so rare for those of us of polynesian heritage to see ourselves reflected back in cinema and to see posts and articles that erase our culture or dismiss our heritage because we aren’t dark enough for someone of another culture is not only racist and ignorant, it’s also incredibly hurtful.
This hasn’t gone around in a while, and the Fury Road fandom has spread out a bunch so I’m reblogging. This is important, intersectional representation is important.
[a not-unimportant tangent: whitewashing of the warboys is commented on frequently, yet below the white-power hierarchy there are a lot of POC warboys (are there enough? probably not); it’s just hard to find them since they are all painted white in homage to their oppressor/god. What this tells us about the in-universe racism is clear, and what this tells us about the movie’s meta-commentary on racism is clear. It’s not that the movie is whitewashed so much as the in-universe racism causes the war boys to literally whitewash themselves.
You add to that that Joe - despite the in-universe racism - has 2 WOC in his ‘wives’, evoking the horrid yet universal fetishization of WOC by their enslavers….That’s damning and self aware commentary on racism by the movie. It isnot perfect…but it’s also not omitted.]
Reblogging this because it’s been awhile and I have many new followers and while I admit that the POC representation could be better in the movie with more Aboriginal actors both male and female, it’s fairly hypocritical of posts arguing for representation when they are committing acts of erasure themselves.
Additionally the fact that these boys are metaphorically ‘raised white’ speaks to Australia’s historically bad and ongoing issue with white men raping indigenous women and stealing their children to be raised as white.
When “act of genocide” was used in the 1997 landmark report Bringing Them Home, which revealed that thousands of Indigenous children had been stolen from their communities by white institutions and systematically abused, a campaign of denial was launched by a far-right clique around the then prime minister John Howard. It included those who called themselves the Galatians Group, then Quadrant, then the Bennelong Society; the Murdoch press was their voice. (x)
Mad Max is a story made by an Australian director, honed by an Australian screenwriter, and I wished people would stop forgetting that.
Bernie Sanders is being REALLY smart about his campaigning.
If you look at who’s funding his campaign, versus who’s funding Hillary Clinton’s, he gets most of the actual workers (labor unions, education unions, etc), while she’s mostly supported by big money (banks, huge companies, etc). Bernie doesn’t have the cash to out advertise or buy votes or really compete with her economically, he has to be backed by the average person if he wants to get somewhere.
And the people that agree with him the most are millenials, and the millenials are the ones who don’t vote as much, so what does he do? He promotes and starts bills to cut the cost of college and university, and lower the interest of student loans.
He’s raising the minimum wage, and funding education. He’s getting the interest and the favor of those who would have otherwise not voted. If he gets our votes, he gets a HUGE leg up in the election.
He really does believe in the things he’s doing, and would probably have tried to do them anyways, but he’s definitely timing these things VERY thoughtfully.
“…Shkolnik argues that the warnings on Lauren’s tampon box
weren’t clear enough, especially about leaving tampons in at night.
Here’s the language: ‘Change your tampon every four to eight hours,
including overnight.’ The family argues that these instructions are
unclear. They plan to argue that ‘overnight’ can mean longer than eight
hours, especially when it comes to young girls, who can easily sleep
nine or ten hours on a weekend. ‘[Tampon companies] should be telling
you, ‘Don’t sleep in it. Use a pad,‘’ says Shkolnik”
Yall I am damn near 30 years old and did not know this. I bet a lot of you didn’t either. Reblog to literally save a life.
Any of my followers who use tampons, please take note
Both Ron and Hermione had decided to remain at
Hogwarts, and though Ron said it was because he couldn’t stand two weeks with
Percy, and
Hermione insisted she needed to use the library, Harry wasn’t fooled; they were
doing it to keep him company, and he was very grateful.
Madam Pomfrey retreated, leaving Ron and
Hermione to help Harry gulp down some water.
Ron and Hermione left Harry’s bedside only at
night.
“Hermione
told me to come and check on you,” said Ron in a low voice, helping Harry
to his feet.
Ron
and Hermione were supposed to be studying for their exams, which would finish
on the day of the third task, but they were putting most of their efforts into
helping Harry prepare.
“You can’t tell me you’ve
stopped having funny dreams,” Hermione said now, “because Ron told me
you were muttering in your sleep again last night.”
Harry
could tell they had rehearsed this conversation while he had been asleep. He
didn’t say anything.
He liked it best when he was with Ron and
Hermione and they were talking about other things, or else letting him sit in
silence while they played chess.
Ron
and Hermione exchanged looks that plainly said There’s no point arguing with
him.
