Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

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June 2016

other-romantic-verbs:

Sometimes when I venture into other fandoms I get so stressed out by the drama and the hate and the ship wars, that I scurry back as quick as I can, and thank god for the leverage fandom….the little fandom that could.

Jun 1, 2016 283 notes

suzukiblu:

suzukiblu:

beckyh2112

replied to your

post

:

beckyh2112 replied to your post:I want to hear…

*rolls over, bares her tummy* yesssssss

Also NONE OF THIS makes Vader less vicious or violent out in the world. Sometimes this makes Vader MORE vicious and violent out in the world, in fact, because he figures out slightly quicker than Padmé exactly how much SHARPER she is with him when he’s gone farther than she wanted him to go. And it’s not even the sharpness he wants specifically–it’s the ATTENTION–but he’d never say no to it. When she figures THAT out … hah. Haaaaah. She doesn’t even have to fucking TOUCH him, when she figures that out. 

She DOESN’T touch him when she figures that out. He goes fucking CRAZY with it; he falls the fuck APART with it. She doesn’t even look at him for a full week, not even when he goddamn BEGS her to. The Empire could probably have collapsed without either of them noticing, if the Senate hadn’t known exactly how dead they all would’ve been if it had. 

Just–Padmé Amidala literally riding the FUCKING TIGER here, with the fine line of giving Vader enough Dark to be content with but not enough to damn himself with. As if that even matters, now. As if that COULD matter, now. 

It matters even more, now. 

But what Vader wants from her is so much tenderness, and so much terribleness, and so MUCH, and sometimes Padmé isn’t sure if she’s the bloody bite-mark smeared down his throat or the soft hand stroking through his sticky, sweat-soaked hair. Or worse–if she’s both. What is she, if she is both those things to someone? 

What is she if she is both those things to the GALAXY? 

@words-writ-in-starlight: honestly padme’s internal riding the whirlwind half-panic is so glorious and like i am SO HERE for vader who is so much her servant in every way and when she realizes that ah when she realizes that things change vader goes out and runs wild against her orders and returns with blood on his hands and she greets him with a cool nod and a cursory kiss to the cheek and then she goes back to her work and doesn’t say anything further except a brief reprimand for the wreckage and he is SO LOST in the absence of her grounding him vader goes out on another mission and follows her orders to the letter and when he returns padme makes herself smile and opens her arms and asks ‘what do you want tonight’ ‘what can i give you for making me so happy’ and he falls into her like she is a black hole and he is so far beyond the event horizon and padme holds him close and bites and kisses and bloodies him and he is drunk on it on HER and she is so so afraid of him of herself for the galaxy for her children I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH

Like I would add more here but WHAT IS THERE TO ADD?? What. What could I even put here? Except maybe the part where Padmé realizes that even as she’s wrapping a tighter leash around Vader’s throat than anyone else ever has, he’s fucking THANKING her for it. He’s always had a leash or a collar or a slave chip, he’s always been OWNED by something or someone, and he’s always hated it. But HER leash, HER rules, HER orders–those aren’t like anyone else’s. He’s HAPPY under her, and all it took was a few thousand murders and betrayals, all it took was killing himself for her. 

Vader doesn’t know how to be free, because the Force doesn’t expect him to be free and even Anakin never really knew how to be. Even though this is the MOST free that either of him has ever been. He could do anything he wanted, go anywhere he wanted, and all he wants is his Master. 

Padmé realizes this. Padmé HATES this. 

Padmé also rewards him when he obeys her, and punishes him when he doesn’t. 

Jun 1, 2016 106 notes
#empress amidala #star wars #okay so vader's relationship to the concept of 'master' here is super interesting #because when he was young #(when ANAKIN was young padme thinks but doesn't say when it comes up) #it was attached to pain and punishment and grief and tears and suffering #and then it was about the jedi #'master this' he says 'master that' #and yet he was expected to care for them #love the jedi ideal in the perfect courtly manner they expected #in the perfect passionless jedi way #and then it was about palpatine #all manipulation and coercion and he could tell he knew he was being wielded #but he was a thing for wielding wasn't he? #and then #and then he realized that for the first time he had a choice #three masters to choose from #palpatine and obi-wan and padme #and padme's hand around his throat is sweet and electric and he is hungry for it #and he probably tells her that at some point #and she has to take a deep breath and let it out slowly without letting her hand in his hair go tense #so that she doesn't scream #or cry #or shove him away #but she breathes #and combs her fingers through his hair #and murmurs that she is glad he chose her #that he is so good for her #so perfect for her #and he rests his head against her knees and sighs

suzukiblu:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight replied to your post: okay my inbox is full of cute stuff and funny…

Okay but say more????

Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him: 

  • tie him to the bed 
  • hit him in the face 
  • leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide 
  • wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning 
  • choke him 

Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do: 

  • answer to “Anakin” 

Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question.  This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.

Look, I’ve been very cracky and fluffy and fun around here lately, I know, but if I go a month without someone being at least mildly traumatized by something I wrote then I will lose all my writerly powers and turn into a pillar of salt and blow away, okay, that’s just how it is. Therefore, Darth Vader is gonna have to learn real quick that every time his Master tells him to lay back and close his eyes, he better start answering to “Anakin” again ASAP or he’s not gonna get hurt the way he likes at ALL. 

*coils protectively around this EXTREMELY EXCELLENT thing*

Cracky fluffy Mace Windu taking Anakin out for truckloads of glowing space ice cream and making morbid jokes is great, but for real I just want to talk about Empress Amidala and Vader and their twins who are probably really strange in this world and how the galaxy reacts when Queen Padme of Naboo is suddenly (and aggressively) promoted and the intricate details of how the Jedi flip their collective shit.

@words-writ-in-starlight: i continue to be trash this au matters to me so much i would murder someone for a movie trilogy set in this au my priorities probably need rejiggering ehhhhhh who gives a fuck not me and not padme because she’s busy trying not to let the galaxy go to shit now that she’s been involuntarily promoted to empress and sith master and person-holding-vader’s-chain (and the whole thing with her ordering him to answer to anakin is SO EXCELLENT) (this is exactly the kind of pain i feed on)

I think she ordered him to answer to “Anakin” exactly once and after that he just kind of had to learn the tells of when she wanted “Anakin” behavior out of him–the difference is so subtle for BOTH of them that it’s sort of a nightmare to get it just right, especially since “Anakin” is not exactly who Anakin actually WAS, just certain parts of Padmé’s perception of him that she knows damn well she’s exaggerating but wants anyway–especially because Padmé does NOT respond well when she does/doesn’t get him when she doesn’t/does want him. 

Vader has an excellent sense of balance, at least. 

It might be funny, if there was anyone left he could make the joke to. Definitely not any of the surviving Jedi. >>;; 

MAN you are right, though, Luke and Leia are probably gonna grow up VERY UNUSUAL children, especially because Padmé will occasionally say things like “here is the list of things you need to lie to your father about no matter what” and VADER will occasionally say things like “eventually you’ll probably want to destroy each other and that’s a very natural feeling but I would recommend not following through on it because ruling the galaxy with a partner to do the parts you don’t like is just SO MUCH better”. 

And meanwhile Luke is such a fucking sunshine bomb and Leia is so very fiercely JUST and KIND, no one is ever gonna believe they’re the Empress and Vader’s. Did–did Obi-Wan Kenobi maybe get Mustafar-ed for causing these two? Are these two HIS fault? 

Okay, no, never mind: they’ll believe it the first time someone lets Princess Amidala anywhere near a lightsaber. They will believe it and FEAR IT. 

@words-writ-in-starlight: WOOOO weird fucked up force twins who are on orders to lie to their father and who are a mystery to the galaxy luke who is just like a fucking space labrador retriever and his sister who is here to kick ass in the name of JUSTICE (maybe they don’t have labs in space because luke is taking up all of the sunshine cuddliness?) and their mother is like on the verge of a breakdown every time leia is talking to vader because it is VERY IMPORTANT that leia and vader have a very particular relationship in which leia doesn’t come down like a hammer on the whole ‘empire vs democracy’ thing (it’s KILLING padme that she can’t publicly train her daughter as a democratic politician) and in which leia learns the force from vader but doesn’t learn…his kind of thinking because padme is sitting there looking at these two kids who are just spilling power left and right like a goblet overfull of wine and she’s just thinking ‘if i let him vader would raise these two as the next part of our dynasty’ vader ADORES his kids he would give them the galaxy in a heartbeat laid out all starlight and fire on a silver platter and he has that option like that option is AVAILABLE to him and padme is TERRIFIED and padme does what needs to be done to save her children

No, no, not here. Padmé does what needs to be done to save the GALAXY. Padmé would die right now if she thought it would leave the galaxy a free Republic again; Padmé would’ve died in the delivery room, would’ve taken the twins with her into the Force, would’ve given up ANYTHING to avoid so much death and darkness. Anakin could never do the math, but Padmé knows that one or two or three versus three THOUSAND is not even a real sacrifice. 

It is a sacrifice, of course. But there’s giving up your own neck for a greater purpose and there’s slitting three thousand unwilling throats on someone else’s altar. 

And Vader really was right when he handed her the Empire. Padmé Naberrie can be Empress Amidala and still be Padmé Naberrie, and she can do the math, and she can hold him back when he’d tear the galaxy past the blood and to the bone and never, ever stop. She knows the difference between making a sacrifice and TAKING one. 

She knows what a Queen must do for her people and really–is an Empress all that different from a Queen, when all is said and done? It’s just another name for something very similar. A sacrifice, and a sacrifice. 

So yes. An Empress is very, very different from a Queen. 

“Let me tell you about how to make a sacrifice,” Padmé Naberrie says with Empress Amidala’s mouth one day when Vader is far away cutting the galaxy to the blood, and the twins look up at her curiously. “Let me tell you what a dynasty is and should never be.” 

Jun 1, 2016 111 notes
#star wars #empress amidala #I FUCKING LOVE THIS #SO FUCKING MUCH #i have very specific things that i get excessively excited about #and really twisted family dynamics is one of them #because padme would sacrifice herself and the twins to have stopped this #but that doesn't change the fact that she loves them with her whole self #loves them enough to teach them how to be all the things that will make them proud of themselves #even if their father doesn't see the necessity #and vader #god #i imagine that vader loves his kids with everything he has #(and everything he has is...it's a lot) #(it's too much to focus on a single person without threatening to burn them up) #(and padme bears up as well as she can forged into steel by the fire of him) #i imagine that vader would sacrifice the entire galaxy for his children without batting an eye #he wouldn't even understand that it was extreme #he would imagine that it was only their due #after all #they're everything #aren't they? #the galaxy should be honored to die for them

jackmeatington:

person: hey are you ticklish at all?
me: *takes 8 steps back*
me: …….no……..

Jun 1, 2016 262,143 notes
I am curious about what the twins think of their parents in the Empress Amidala 'verse. What are the things they are told to lie to their father about?

The twins have four parents. They recognize this fairly early in life, and are mildly surprised when they eventually realize that other children DON’T recognize this about their own parents. 

The twins’ parents are: Empress Amidala, Darth Vader, Padmé [redacted], and [redacted]. They don’t know Padmé’s last name or Darth Vader’s other one, but they know there ARE other names there. Their absence is obvious. 

(once, one time only, one of them catches their father coming home very late and very injured, stumbling into the apartments with his own blood all over himself and his prosthetic smashed and torn and a dazed, distant expression on his face, and on the other side of the room Empress Amidala drops her datapad and Padmé whispers, “Anakin”) 

They see more of Padmé than they ever do of Anakin (whose name they don’t know, really, honestly, they’ve never heard it once). Amidala has missions for Vader, far-away places to send him for long times, and to the twins, for some time, a father is the kind man cloaked in warm Darkness who drifts in and out of their lives to touch their minds with an overpowering love and show them the proper way to hold a lightsaber and throw a full-grown adult in full armor a hundred yards back with just one push. They always know him in the Force, but he is not often close enough for them to see or speak to, at a certain age. 

And at that certain age, every night that Vader is off-planet Padmé closes the apartment doors and teaches them every secret she knows how to. 

And, very importantly, how to lie. 

The twins don’t always understand why knowing how to lie is so important, and especially not how to lie to their father–about certain thoughts, certain feelings, certain reasons for certain things. Leia thinks it’s just Vader they’re supposed to lie to, because of course the two of them are different men. Luke thinks they’re the same man, just they don’t admit it. Either way, they both know that Mother can be Padmé and Amidala in the same breath, doing the exact same thing for two opposing reasons, but Father is only ever Darth Vader. 

(except when Mother calls him that other name, of course; the one that they don’t know) 

Jun 1, 2016 75 notes
#star wars #empress amidala #BECAUSE I CAN IMAGINE #AND IT'S BOTH GLORIOUS AND TERRIFYING #i love this so much
Jun 1, 2016 75,255 notes
#GOD BLESS THIS KID #THIS KID KNOWS WHAT'S UP #vaccinate your spawn #vaccinations
Jun 1, 2016 90,702 notes
Jun 1, 2016 10,332 notes
#like shit #i'm white and i'm fucking elated #t'challa is a great character i am so excited
  • High-School Teachers: You need to be professional when you go to college. High-School dress-code reflect what COLLEGE classes expect you to wear.
  • Actual College Student: I know this class is at 5:00 pm, but I'm wearing pajama pants and a tank top.
  • Actual College Professor: lol same.
Jun 1, 2016 254,502 notes

strider-inquire:

strider-inquire:

ok but why is there such a stigma amongst straight guys on taking a girl wearing a suit to homecoming or prom? like have you seen a cute girl in a nice suit?

if you think a guy dating a girl is gay then boy do i have some news for you

Jun 1, 2016 204,816 notes

hyeronatrudons:

just-shower-thoughts:

In chess, the Queen is the hero and the King is the damsel in distress.

#this is how maes hughes would have started his best man speech 

All right, you know what, fuck right on off there, buddy.

Jun 1, 2016 24,016 notes
#fma #chess

dominawritesthings:

eatingcroutons:

eatingcroutons:

Oh my fucking god there are two men and two kids at a table on the other side of this beer garden, and one guy is telling the little girl shit like, “Your brain is probably wired linguistically, whereas mine is wired mathematically,” and the girl is saying in a quiet little voice that she got the highest maths score in her grade, and his response is to talk about how men have bigger brains than women and jesus fucking christ someone please tell me why I shouldn’t go over there and pour my beer all over this asshole’s head

I can’t figure out how to reply to replies on mobile but to summarise: I finished my pint and walked over and said to the girl, “Did I hear you say you wanted to be a scientist?” And told her that I’m a scientist, and maths was always my favourite subject when I was a kid, and wished her good luck, and told her the most important thing about science is to question everything. And she turned to the guy (her uncle?) and was like “Yeah, like I was questioning what you were saying before!”

I reckon she’ll be okay. 

True fucking example of how not all heroes wear capes. Bless you.

Jun 1, 2016 27,162 notes
feel free to unfollow if you:

sacrificethemtothesquid:

steinbecks:

  • don’t like me
  • liked me at one point, but don’t like me anymore
  • hate what i post
  • hate what i have to say about xyz topic
  • find me annoying
  • don’t have anything in common with me anymore, and are bored by the things i post
  • feel obligated by whatever personal reason you may have to keep following me, even if literally any of those above things apply

this applies to mutuals as well. your dash should be your happy place, so no hard feelings and i wish you the best in life

I’m adding here that I don’t actually check my followers list ever - I only ever check the number if I’ve had a rash of new follows - so if you’ve got any anxiety about offending me, don’t worry, because I literally won’t see. Your dash is your safe and happy spot, and if my content doesn’t jive with what you want to see…that’s fine with me.

And like…don’t feel compelled to tell me why you’re unfollowing.  (In fact it’s…pretty bizarre to have someone tell me why they’re unfollowing, especially since I’ve had at least a couple people unfollow me for shipping things I don’t like at all.)  By all means, feel free to just…stop, if that’s what would make you happiest.

Jun 1, 2016 241,909 notes
Jun 1, 2016 385,325 notes
#i love epic tales

wandamaxmioff:

wandamaxmioff:

Okay so many of you know about Ramadan, the month in the islamic calander where every muslim who’s not travelling, pregnant, breastfeeding, diabetic or on their period or is ill or elderly has to fast from dawn until sunset and refrain from smoking, sex, swearing, etc. Instead of sending everyone I follow what I would like them to tag as #nsfr (not safe for ramadan), here is a list of things to tag:

  • food
  • nudes/ nsfw
  • kissing/ pda
  • smoking
  • bad language

I’d appreciate it if people reblog this so every muslim doesn’t have to ask the 400+ blogs they follow to tag stuff. Thanks!

This year it’s gonna fall on June 6th to July 6th, I believe :)

Jun 1, 2016 98,719 notes
Jun 1, 2016 171,418 notes
#potc #this scene is AMAZING #also the musical score is #like #incredible #it's fucking awesome #i honestly genuinely love the first potc movie #not a huge fan of the others although i don't DISlike them #BUT THE FIRST ONE #god

myboyhamilton:

extrememailmen:

oh my god

in cabinet meetings, tradition states the secretary of state sits on one side of the president, and the secretary of the treasury sits on the other

george washington sat right in between hamilton and jefferson

honestly the precedent was probably set with this administration because he had to sit them apart so they wouldn’t punch each other

Jun 1, 2016 6,542 notes
#hamilton #poor george washington #he's trying to run a country here #it occurs to me that i have almost exactly that tag for t'challa

mchaha:

2017 is like 6 months away and I still think 2007 was 3 years ago

Jun 1, 2016 318,605 notes
Jun 1, 2016 173,060 notes

faisdm:

legodinasaur:

mylifewasamazinguntiliwasborn:

yurstrulyceleste:

on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter

how bad is your idea

invading finland in winter

the Finns used SKIS. just imagine being a Russian coming to battle and all of a sudden the Finns come out on nowhere ON SKIS

You could say the Russians were…

Finnished.

Jun 1, 2016 631,827 notes
#history according to tumblr #WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
Jun 1, 2016 1,349,031 notes
#guide to troubled birds #i adore these

scarred-and-silent:

everywordinexistence:

i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party

It was like a reward for being sociable

Jun 1, 2016 690,584 notes

suzukiblu:

beckyh2112

replied to your

post

:

beckyh2112 replied to your post:I want to hear…

*rolls over, bares her tummy* yesssssss

Also NONE OF THIS makes Vader less vicious or violent out in the world. Sometimes this makes Vader MORE vicious and violent out in the world, in fact, because he figures out slightly quicker than Padmé exactly how much SHARPER she is with him when he’s gone farther than she wanted him to go. And it’s not even the sharpness he wants specifically–it’s the ATTENTION–but he’d never say no to it. When she figures THAT out … hah. Haaaaah. She doesn’t even have to fucking TOUCH him, when she figures that out. 

She DOESN’T touch him when she figures that out. He goes fucking CRAZY with it; he falls the fuck APART with it. She doesn’t even look at him for a full week, not even when he goddamn BEGS her to. The Empire could probably have collapsed without either of them noticing, if the Senate hadn’t known exactly how dead they all would’ve been if it had. 

Just–Padmé Amidala literally riding the FUCKING TIGER here, with the fine line of giving Vader enough Dark to be content with but not enough to damn himself with. As if that even matters, now. As if that COULD matter, now. 

It matters even more, now. 

But what Vader wants from her is so much tenderness, and so much terribleness, and so MUCH, and sometimes Padmé isn’t sure if she’s the bloody bite-mark smeared down his throat or the soft hand stroking through his sticky, sweat-soaked hair. Or worse–if she’s both. What is she, if she is both those things to someone? 

What is she if she is both those things to the GALAXY? 

Jun 1, 2016 106 notes
#empress amidala #star wars #honestly padme's internal riding the whirlwind half-panic is so glorious #and like #i am SO HERE for vader who is so much her servant in every way #and when she realizes that #ah #when she realizes that things change #vader goes out and runs wild against her orders and returns with blood on his hands #and she greets him with a cool nod and a cursory kiss to the cheek #and then she goes back to her work and doesn't say anything further except a brief reprimand for the wreckage #and he is SO LOST in the absence of her grounding him #vader goes out on another mission and follows her orders to the letter #and when he returns padme makes herself smile and opens her arms and asks #'what do you want tonight' #'what can i give you for making me so happy' #and he falls into her like she is a black hole and he is so far beyond the event horizon #and padme holds him close and bites and kisses and bloodies him #and he is drunk on it on HER and she is so so afraid #of him #of herself #for the galaxy #for her children #I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH
Jun 1, 2016 53,755 notes
#god fucking bless #GOD #FUCKING #BLESS #assault tw #that's the spirit #you did good guys
Fuuuuck, can I *please* have more sense freak hedonist Vader? That might have been the most AMAZING thing I've read in a good long while! & more of Padme & Vader's fucked up D/s dynamic. Just... christ, that was AMAZING! You're just AMAZING!

Thank you! ❤ I got a little stim-indulgent with Vader’s hedonist streak, I think, writing it was soooo enjoyable, hahahaha. AND YOU ARE IN LUCK, FRIEND, I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR TOUCH-STARVED HEDONISTS. ENOUGH OF ONE TO NEED A READ-MORE, APPARENTLY. 

Also, handmaidens. Lots of handmaidens. Because hell yes handmaidens. 

Keep reading

Jun 1, 2016 58 notes
#empress amidala #star wars #*runs around cackling* #MINE MINE MINE MINE #...i would make a super good sith for the record #BUT THIS IS MINE #okay no not really it's suzukiblu's #but also i am hoarding this au like a fucking dragon #try and stop me #i'll see you all in hell and i will have NO REGRETS #because motherfucking EMPRESS AMIDALA #AND HER HANDMAIDENS #AND VADER #AND I AM SO THRILLED

suzukiblu:

beckyh2112

replied to your

post

:

beckyh2112 replied to your post:beckyh2112 replied…

I’m just going to lie here and purr. I am a kitty. You are petting me.

Hey speaking of petting, how many times do you think Vader literally just kneeled on the floor by Padmé’s chair during a meeting or something and waited until she got distracted enough by all the political talk to start petting him like she would’ve if they were in their rooms? Just, like, a casual estimate. 

Also, how many times do you think she internally freaked out once she realized just what she was doing in front of the damn Senate and gave him the you’re getting Punished for this later look. 

Like, absolutely everyone is already terrified of her because Vader and the clone army answer to her and EVERYONE knows Vader killed Palpatine on her orders, and at least SOME people probably suspect he also killed the JEDI on her orders. And then she gives Darth fucking Vader, terror of the goddamn galaxy, the PUNISHMENT look. Everyone in the room immediately reconsiders every single one of the life choices that led them to BEING in this room. 

Except for Vader, obviously. Vader is fucking DELIGHTED to be in this room. 

Jun 1, 2016 39 notes
#empress amidala #star wars #*victory dance* #YOU KNOW WHO'S REALLY ENJOYING THE WILDLY UNHEALTHY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS AU #THIS BITCH

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight replied to your post: okay my inbox is full of cute stuff and funny…

Okay but say more????

Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him: 

  • tie him to the bed 
  • hit him in the face 
  • leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide 
  • wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning 
  • choke him 

Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do: 

  • answer to “Anakin” 

Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question.  This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.

Look, I’ve been very cracky and fluffy and fun around here lately, I know, but if I go a month without someone being at least mildly traumatized by something I wrote then I will lose all my writerly powers and turn into a pillar of salt and blow away, okay, that’s just how it is. Therefore, Darth Vader is gonna have to learn real quick that every time his Master tells him to lay back and close his eyes, he better start answering to “Anakin” again ASAP or he’s not gonna get hurt the way he likes at ALL. 

*coils protectively around this EXTREMELY EXCELLENT thing*

Cracky fluffy Mace Windu taking Anakin out for truckloads of glowing space ice cream and making morbid jokes is great, but for real I just want to talk about Empress Amidala and Vader and their twins who are probably really strange in this world and how the galaxy reacts when Queen Padme of Naboo is suddenly (and aggressively) promoted and the intricate details of how the Jedi flip their collective shit.

@words-writ-in-starlight: i continue to be trash this au matters to me so much i would murder someone for a movie trilogy set in this au my priorities probably need rejiggering ehhhhhh who gives a fuck not me and not padme because she’s busy trying not to let the galaxy go to shit now that she’s been involuntarily promoted to empress and sith master and person-holding-vader’s-chain (and the whole thing with her ordering him to answer to anakin is SO EXCELLENT) (this is exactly the kind of pain i feed on)

I think she ordered him to answer to “Anakin” exactly once and after that he just kind of had to learn the tells of when she wanted “Anakin” behavior out of him–the difference is so subtle for BOTH of them that it’s sort of a nightmare to get it just right, especially since “Anakin” is not exactly who Anakin actually WAS, just certain parts of Padmé’s perception of him that she knows damn well she’s exaggerating but wants anyway–especially because Padmé does NOT respond well when she does/doesn’t get him when she doesn’t/does want him. 

Vader has an excellent sense of balance, at least. 

It might be funny, if there was anyone left he could make the joke to. Definitely not any of the surviving Jedi. >>;; 

MAN you are right, though, Luke and Leia are probably gonna grow up VERY UNUSUAL children, especially because Padmé will occasionally say things like “here is the list of things you need to lie to your father about no matter what” and VADER will occasionally say things like “eventually you’ll probably want to destroy each other and that’s a very natural feeling but I would recommend not following through on it because ruling the galaxy with a partner to do the parts you don’t like is just SO MUCH better”. 

And meanwhile Luke is such a fucking sunshine bomb and Leia is so very fiercely JUST and KIND, no one is ever gonna believe they’re the Empress and Vader’s. Did–did Obi-Wan Kenobi maybe get Mustafar-ed for causing these two? Are these two HIS fault? 

Okay, no, never mind: they’ll believe it the first time someone lets Princess Amidala anywhere near a lightsaber. They will believe it and FEAR IT. 

Jun 1, 2016 111 notes
#empress amidala #WOOOO #weird fucked up force twins who are on orders to lie to their father and who are a mystery to the galaxy #luke who is just like a fucking space labrador retriever and his sister who is here to kick ass in the name of JUSTICE #(maybe they don't have labs in space because luke is taking up all of the sunshine cuddliness?) #and their mother is like #on the verge of a breakdown every time leia is talking to vader #because it is VERY IMPORTANT that leia and vader have a very particular relationship #in which leia doesn't come down like a hammer on the whole 'empire vs democracy' thing #(it's KILLING padme that she can't publicly train her daughter as a democratic politician) #and in which leia learns the force from vader but doesn't learn...his kind of thinking #because padme is sitting there looking at these two kids #who are just spilling power left and right like a goblet overfull of wine #and she's just thinking #'if i let him vader would raise these two as the next part of our dynasty' #vader ADORES his kids he would give them the galaxy in a heartbeat #laid out all starlight and fire on a silver platter #and he has that option #like #that option is AVAILABLE to him #and padme is TERRIFIED #and padme does what needs to be done to save her children

gummysharksundae:

Never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if I get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how I go.

Jun 1, 2016 844,198 notes
  • Me: makes a reference only i get and then laughs about it because i saw what i did there
Jun 1, 2016 573,652 notes

lilacblossoms:

whineandbeer:

lfayette:

lilacblossoms:

“Alexander Hamilton founded the New York Post” sounds a lot less impressive when you learn the rest of that sentence goes:

“so he could publicly talk smack about the other founding fathers”

Don’t u mean MORE impressive

He literally founded a newspaper that is still in circulation today

So he could shit talk his colleagues. Idk bout u, but most people I know just subtweet that now.

There was literally an article in this Sunday’s New York Post dragging Aaron Burr for saddling NYC with a grid system instead of wide Parisian boulevards. The first line was “We’ll never have Paris here in New York. But we could have … if not for Aaron Burr.” Marvelous. Hamilton’s ghost is weeping tears of joy.

This is the best addition to this post in 10,000+ notes and I would like to personally thank you for sharing this crucially important historical development

200+ years later and Burr still can’t catch a break from Alexander Hamilton’s legacy

Jun 1, 2016 62,253 notes
#god bless you for telling us this #hamilton #their eternal rivalry is hilarious

ekjohnston:

derinthemadscientist:

writing-prompt-s:

Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.

I would read this

OH MY GOD

Forget reading this, I would watch a seven season TV show about this.

Religiously.

Jun 1, 2016 133,010 notes
#SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

charlesoberonn:

When conservatives say that universal healthcare will make the poor “spoiled” they sound like Immortan Joe warning his subjects not to get addicted to water.

Jun 1, 2016 8,241 notes

fuckyouimawizardcop:

jerk-bitch-casbutt:

mitsukake:

raptorific:

The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.

The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.

not our division

Jun 1, 2016 353,032 notes
#harry potter #you're not wrong #you're not even wrong #the ministry is useless #honestly i hope kingsley overhauled the whole system #i'm ready to bet the aurors were a lot more effective once harry was involved #'what do you MEAN you're just going to assume they're dead' #'i want to see a fucking body' #'I SPENT SEVENTEEN YEARS DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR JOB' #'YOU LET A GENOCIDAL MANIAC RUN RAMPANT AND TRY TO MURDER CHILDREN' #'SO TODAY YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW ME A FUCKING BODY' #'OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO BE WORKING THIS CASE UNTIL THEY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD' #'AND TRY TO MURDER YOU A DOZEN TIMES' #basically i assume that once harry's involved the aurors are whipped into shape pretty quick #like #dude spent seven years in constant fear for his life because the aurors flunked basic competency #he's not going to be generous
Jun 1, 2016 101,211 notes
#wonder woman #look at that face #that's gorgeous
Jun 1, 2016 11,220 notes
#yeah basically #hamilton
Play
4:33
Jun 1, 2016 86,227 notes
#HOLY FUCK #i need to see this #who wants to hire me for something ridiculously high-paying and probably illegal #hamilton #ALEXANDER HAMILTON #*SCREAMING*

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight:

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight replied to your post: okay my inbox is full of cute stuff and funny…

Okay but say more????

Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him: 

  • tie him to the bed 
  • hit him in the face 
  • leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide 
  • wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning 
  • choke him 

Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do: 

  • answer to “Anakin” 

Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question.  This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.

Look, I’ve been very cracky and fluffy and fun around here lately, I know, but if I go a month without someone being at least mildly traumatized by something I wrote then I will lose all my writerly powers and turn into a pillar of salt and blow away, okay, that’s just how it is. Therefore, Darth Vader is gonna have to learn real quick that every time his Master tells him to lay back and close his eyes, he better start answering to “Anakin” again ASAP or he’s not gonna get hurt the way he likes at ALL. 

*coils protectively around this EXTREMELY EXCELLENT thing*

Cracky fluffy Mace Windu taking Anakin out for truckloads of glowing space ice cream and making morbid jokes is great, but for real I just want to talk about Empress Amidala and Vader and their twins who are probably really strange in this world and how the galaxy reacts when Queen Padme of Naboo is suddenly (and aggressively) promoted and the intricate details of how the Jedi flip their collective shit.

Jun 1, 2016 111 notes
#empress amidala #star wars #i continue to be trash #this au matters to me so much #i would murder someone for a movie trilogy set in this au #my priorities probably need rejiggering #ehhhhhh #who gives a fuck #not me #and not padme because she's busy trying not to let the galaxy go to shit #now that she's been involuntarily promoted to empress and sith master and person-holding-vader's-chain #(and the whole thing with her ordering him to answer to anakin is SO EXCELLENT) #(this is exactly the kind of pain i feed on)
Reblog If You Are A Writer Of Any Kind And Want To Be Asked These Questions

derekhaleimagines:

A: What do you write?  Fanfiction, original fiction, nonfiction, articles, songs, poems, essays, plays, what?

B: How often do you write?

C: Who is your favorite character of your own?  Who is your favorite character created by somebody else?  Why?

D: If you had the choice of going without writing forever or going without dinner forever, which one would you choose?

E: Have you ever participated in National Novel Writing Month or any of its variations?

F: What’s your favorite book? Favorite author?

G: What’s your least favorite book?  Least favorite author?

H: How long have you been writing?

I: What grades do you/did you get in English class?

J: What does writing mean to you?

K: Share an old, embarrassing work?

L: What advice would you give to other writers?

M: How do you feel when somebody gives harsh yet constructive criticism?

N: Which writing blogs and writing help blogs do you follow?

O: What motivates you to write?

P: What are your goals for things to happen to your writing? (Getting published, getting a good review, having a fandom, etc)

Q: How do you get through writer’s block?

R: What genre do you write in?

S: Would you let a stranger off the streets read your first drafts?

T: What’s your favorite part of the writing process?  Why?

U: What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?  Why?

V: What do you listen to when you write?

W: What’s your biggest pet peeve in writing?

X: (Leave a prompt in the person’s ask box)

Y: How would you describe the perfect prose?  How would you describe your own prose?

Z: How often do you read?

Jun 1, 2016 18,957 notes
#ask meme

suzukiblu:

words-writ-in-starlight replied to your post: okay my inbox is full of cute stuff and funny…

Okay but say more????

Things Vader has probably asked Padmé for/done his damnedest to provoke her into doing to him: 

  • tie him to the bed 
  • hit him in the face 
  • leave hickeys/bite marks/bruises in places he can’t hide 
  • wax/heat play, possibly to the point of burning 
  • choke him 

Things Padmé has probably ordered Vader to do: 

  • answer to “Anakin” 

Okay on the one hand OW that got painful real fast, but on the other hand that is exactly what I was hoping to get out of that question.  This AU is just so fucking fantastic, I love it.

Jun 1, 2016 111 notes
#EMPRESS AMIDALA #EMPRESS AMIDALA WOW YES #I AM STILL SO INTO THIS AU #I WANT THIS FIC #LIKE #FUCK YES #star wars

theragnarokd:

trashycan-chan:

okay but in modern hamilton aus who the literal fuck founded america

The cast of Hamilton, obvs. Lin-Manuel Miranda’s face is on the 10$ bill.

Jun 1, 2016 10,165 notes
#obviously #hamilton #chris jackson would be a great first president #i like this this is good
I swing both ways ;)

comalard:

Violently. With a bat. Come get some motherfuckers.

Jun 1, 2016 237,852 notes
#ME AS FUCK
Jun 1, 2016 14,099 notes
#I FUCKING #ham4ham #hamilton #the schuyler georges #i'm dying
Jun 1, 2016 543,065 notes
#i love epic tales #this is already rattling around my blog somewhere but DO I GIVE A FUCK #A RESOUNDING NO #because this is hilarious #and also basically something my mom would have done if i ever got this ambitious #with being a little shit #i mean #i'm a little shit #but not this much
Jun 1, 2016 2,685 notes
#hamilton #THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE FIRST TIME I HEARD 'MEET ME INSIDE' #LIKE #HAMILTON BRO WASHINGTON IS TRYING TO BE PATERNAL #LET HIM #HE COLLECTS ANGRY FIGHTY TEENAGERS LIKE LIMITED ADDITION ACTION FIGURES #also lafayette is so fucking cute in this drawing #'d'accord' #still in love with america's favorite fighting frenchman #that has somehow become my lafayette tag and i'm only sort of sorry

spookyboltons:

I think it’s great that now thousands of young people have weirdly specific knowledge of Alexander Hamilton’s life

Jun 1, 2016 9,546 notes
#hamilton #okay but weirdly specific knowledge of historical characters is great #for example #joanna #wife of lleywellyn the great #once caught her husband in bed with another woman and ordered that the bed be taken out to the ramparts #and lit on fire #this was actually pretty chill compared to what she COULD have done and gotten away with #because at the time in wales #if you caught your husband banging another woman under your roof #you were legally allowed to murder the woman without repercussions as long as you did it yourself #so if you hired a buddy you were screwed #but if you straight up stabbed her in the eye you were golden

May 2016

May 31, 2016 115,762 notes
Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.
May 31, 2016 271,442 notes

radicalseabies:

sometimes i look at my follower count and think “wow thats a lot of people i probably disappoint on a regular basis”

May 31, 2016 176,777 notes
May 31, 2016 70,443 notes
“When you put Chris Evans in a size-small T-shirt, it’s a good thing.”—

Judianna Makovsky, CA:CW costume designer

NOW WE ALL KNOW WHO TO THANK

(via eatingcroutons)

I like the cut of your jib, Judianna Makovsky.

I also like the cut of Chris Evans’ shirts.

May 31, 2016 8,732 notes
#GOOD JOB #A HERO OF OUR TIME #chris evans #winter soldier #civil war #(honestly the tagline of the captain america movies could be 'gratuitous bicep porn')
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