I love the very fine line conservatives must walk between “government is the enemy” and “how fucking dare you challenge the authority of the police or the military”
Someone else on tumblr pointed out that PASSENGERS might have been a more
meaningful movie if it was about just THE ONE person dealing with being
alone on the ship for the rest of their life. And if, to cope, they go
through and make it a point to learn everything they can about all of the other
people on the ship.
And I just keep thinking about this idea.
There are
4999 other people on that ship and what if the protagonist spent the
remainder of their life (and they do live their full life) learning about each of them.
They took an
interest in their hobbies so that they could have some sort of
connection to them.
As their sanity flexed in an effort to cope, they could have had these really involved
imaginary conversations with the crew about their interests. And by the end
of their natural life they will have known everything they could have ever known
about these other 4999 people.
…
AND THEN THE REST OF THEM WAKE UP. And they have some
90 odd years of security footage of this one crew member talking to each of them in turn. And it goes far beyond ‘I have figured out how to cook that one dish you were struggling with’ or ‘I have readTHE SILMARILLION at your suggestion and Jesus Christ I have thoughts about it.’
They actually start making connections between all of the crew.
Like ‘You like bugs! You should totally talk to Cindy! She’s an entomologist!’
Or ‘Did you know that you and Said’s grandfathers were both in the same infantry?’
Or ‘You and Jamie are both avid bee keepers and I think you need to meet.’
Or ‘I know you’re really struggling with this, but Aneesha said she went the exact same thing and I think talking to her can help.’
And because all of these crew members are watching the videos that have been individually addressed to them (Because why not? They’re colonizing. There’s not a lot yet available by way of entertainment) they sort of start talking to each other at the Protagonist’s suggestion. And within a year they are THE MOST unified interconnected colony of any of the colonies because this one crew member broke the ice for them a lifetime ago.
Several of them are engaged.
Two are about to have children named after the Protagonist.
…
AND BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE NOW they notice when one week a crew member isn’t out and about and no one can get in touch with them. So finally somebody goes to check and they find them huddled in a ball and mourning.
Because Protagonist is dead.
And the other people are like: ‘Yes. We know. This is literally the first thing we knew about them.’
But Mourner is like: ‘You don’t understand. I got to the end.’
And then everyone realizes that the mourner has basically been BURNING through all of the videos Protagonist has addressed to them and got to the last one they made to them before they died. And Protagonist left a final message for each of them.
Suddenly everyone’s having a real frank conversation with themselves about how fast they’re going through their videos and if they’re prepared to keep going at that rate and get to the end, or if they should put it off indefinitely.
And one by one, in time, each of them realizes they can’t put it off. Not only are they invested in the end, but they care enough about Protagonist to really acknowledge their death.
Each crew member does this at their own pace. It becomes a rite of passage of sorts. And Protagonist is given some sort of proper memorial so the colonists all have a place to go when their time comes to grieve.
…
BUT BEFORE EVERYONE GETS TO THE END, someone has started noticing how Protagonist treated the robots on the ship over the years. And surprise, surprise, Protagonist named all the robots too and treated them like individuals depending on their quirks. So now someone has finally solved the mystery of why droid 808 insists on being called ‘Bob,’ and why 239 knows ASL, and why the auxiliary robots are so salty about nobody ever being able to tell them apart.
Not only that, but security logs shows that the robots were about 19% more efficient when Protagonist was alive than they are now. And THE VERY SECOND the rest of the crew starts observing the same habits Protagonist used in treating these robots ALL OF THAT EFFICIENCY COMES RIGHT BACK.
Because they missed Protagonist too.
…
And things settle. Everyone thinks they’ve reached the end of Protagonist’s surprises.
…
THEN THEY ARE FINALLY ABLE TO START TRANSPORTATION BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND THE OTHER COLONIES.
And a visiting party shows up.
The visitors are surprised to see HOW WELL everyone on this colony is getting along, because, wow, people are civil where they come from but GODDAMN.
And one of these visiting members is really excited to see their sibling.
And ‘Oh, that’s so nice! Who is it?’
And then the visiting member says a name every single person on this colony knows.
The colonists have to tell them what happened to their sibling, Protagonist.
But they also HAVE to tell the sibling what knowing Protagonist MEANT to them. And what Protagonist knowing THEM, meant to them.
And it’s sad.
The colony pretty much wholesale adopts Protagonist’s sibling as a part of their family because they don’t know what else they can do to fill that void. But just in case, they give the Protagonist’s sibling THE ENTIRETY of Protagonist’s security footage. Because there is 90 years of it and that way they can carry their sibling with them for the rest of their life even if only in video.
And then the colonists think:
‘This. This was the end of Protagonist’s story. And this was a good a proper way to observe it.’
…
AND THEN ONE DAY A SHIP SHOWS UP THAT IS NOT LIKE ANY SHIP THE COLONISTS HAVE EVER SEEN.
And the people driving it aren’t human.
They speak English and passable French. They can chicken scratch Urdu, Mandarin, and Swahili.
Everyone is stunned and wants to know ‘why…?’ and ‘how…?’
And the aliens are just, like, ‘Oh. Protagonist. We ran into them while you were in space. They told us you’d be settling here and asked that we check up on you whenever we were rolling by this quadrant next.’
‘They were really nice. Taught us English. Gave us the files on a couple of your other popular languages as well just to be safe. How’s the colonizing going anyway?’
And everyone thinks back to THAT ONE MONTH of security footage where Protagonist was NIGH IMPOSSIBLE to find. And when they finally did come back to their normal routine they were really quiet and thoughtful for about a week before really getting back to themselves.
The linguists all suddenly remember that IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THAT REALLY WEIRD MONTH, Protagonist had a new coded language saved to their personal affects and was very insistent that they LEARN IT. ‘FOR REASONS.’
And very quietly, the entire colony makes peace with the fact that Protagonist established a very successful first contact while they were all asleep.
a new law is about to be passed in Saudi Arabia that will allow the government to execute people for coming out or being openly gay online.
ignoring the fact that this is literally something out of some kind of dystopian novel, in the interests of safety i’ve emptied out my face tag and may temporarily deactivate or password protect this blog.
please reblog this and get the word out, and if you pray, please pray for me and my fellow Saudi LGBTQ+/MOGAI family.
ALSO, for those who need it [x]. its a post on erasing all traces of yourself from the interwebs.
this is not something to read and keep to yourself. please spread this around. may Allah keep everyone safe.
What the hell
People, this stuff is serious and seriously wrong. I do hope that you are able to survive this send it to a safe space.
Remember how I said any ally of Saudi Arabia is an enemy of human rights?
Stay safe. Be smart. Stay lucky. Consider purging your internet history if you can. Password protect your blog if you can. Back up your files to a virtual drive or with someone you trust. (I will store anyones files, pictures, letters, emails, chat histories etc on dedicated flash drives if you want, and at my own expense.)
That goes for anyone who is in danger from a government that wants to criminalize your personhood.
I love Rogue One’s ending because it means less than twelve hours before A New Hope began, Darth Vadar was inches away from boarding Tantive IV before it blasted away. Like, he watched it leave.
When Leia starts blasting off about being on a diplomatic mission, she’s not only lying out her ass, she’s really fucking lying out of her ass. She’s throwing spaghetti at the space police just to see if anything sticks.
As an occasional visitor to Star Wars fandom, here are some things I would like to see come out of Rogue One:
-
the fic about the reactions of the Empire’s IT and records management
departments when they learn that some trigger-happy general just
literally blew up an entire unique archival repository of key bureaucratic data - the comic about the first time some maintenance
technician tries to repair something on the Death Star and the guy’s
like, ‘where’s the documentation?’ and their boss is like ‘um, well,
funny story about that….’ - the in-depth analysis about various
mistakes the Empire makes in the original trilogy and how they operate
in context of an organization that has just, I repeat, LITERALLY BLOWN UP ALL OF
THEIR OWN BACKUP DATA. Of course it’s easy for any random hero to
impersonate a Stormtrooper! THEY DESTROYED ALL THEIR OWN PERSONNEL
FILES.
Rogue One, or, Why All The Empire’s Librarians and Archivists Joined the Rebellion
Rogue 2 plot summary: a bunch of Imperial waste management techs go AWOL and steal the Death Star plans back from the Rebels because how else are we supposed to get the dianoga out of the pipes when we have literally no idea where half of these ducts go or what they’re for
they complete their mission but in the end decide not to delete the plans from the main Alliance computers after they’ve made their copy because ehhhhh what if we never had to fix anything on that piece of shit again, what if that, it’s insured right?
This also explains why none of the bridges or giant pits in the floor have railings: literally no one knows if they’re supposed to be there or not, and once someone tried to drill into the floor to install some and destroyed the main air circulation wiring for half the station, now everyone just has to be real careful all the time
It also means that when they built the second Death Star in ROTJ they had to start entirely from scratch, yikes
in the end they decide not to delete plans from main Alliance computers because their heist crew contains one records manager who’s like ‘look, we’re SUPPOSED to have redundant data backups, this way we’re not even paying for the storage!’
this post has made the rounds amazingly on my dash and now it’s LITERALLY CALLING MY NAME.
pour one out for that tfa fic I was writing about della calrissian, disgruntled member of the new republic capital electoral commission, just trying to do her job and not get involved with the rebellion AGAIN.
never doubt my commitment to space bureaucracy.
I LOVE PEOPLE!
(Seriously, who’s up for a zine/anthology/cooperative AO3 series (group? tag? IDK) around the theme of various public servants sabotaged the Empire, joined the Rebellion, or avenged the besmirchment of their domains. #public servants of the empire, or the like.)
I love the way the glaring fucking design flaw that’s been pointed out since New Hope came out (your flying doom-planet that you’re going to use to subjugate the galaxy will explode entirely into so much space-dust after a love-tap from a single-pilot fighter if it’s in the right place? were you people high when you designed this?) just got shutupshutupohmygodshutuped away with Secret Rebels Sabotaging Things.
And it explains so much else, about everything, doesn’t it?
No guardrails over fucking bottomless pits? Some rebel sympathizer on the allocation committee line-itemed half the safety shit right out of the budget.
Helmets with no peripheral vision because fuck you, that’s why? The woman who designed them got conscripted into the job, and the only thing that makes her smile is watching those douchebag noncoms crash into each other in Y-intersection corridors.
Nobody notices there being extra stormtroopers running around? With the way Lieutenant Bob keeps dicking with the schedule, nobody can say for sure there shouldn’t be purple flying monkeys manning the security checkpoints. He’s run three Emperor Inspection Drills in as many weeks, and just three days ago he put the entire unit on duty at once and left the overnight shift “TBA.” He’s doing more to tank morale than Vader’s temper. Coincidentally, Lieutenant Bob’s homeworld got hit with a punitive tax hike six months ago, and people are literally starving in the streets.
The guy who checks itineraries and rosters for incoming shuttle flights believed the hype about joining up and seeing the Galaxy. Turns out fuck literally every actual thing about this job, from officer infighting to civilian casualties to Vader’s last-minute order to have every surface in his on-board suite kitted out with fucking lava lamps, of all things. Like, they’re in space. He gets that, right? They can’t just stop by SpaceMart and pick up stuff like that. His boss is a dick and he was up all night making lava lamps out of cooking oil and food coloring, and you know what? The last thing he wants to do right now is check the manifest on the next delivery of cooking oil. He’s had enough with cooking oil. He took five showers when he got back to his quarters, and he still smells like fucking canola. The Wookie and the guy who hasn’t shaved in a month and the guy still picking half a tumbleweed out of his hair can blow up the entire fucking station for all he cares–he will help them plant the explosives, if it comes down to it–so long as they don’t make him talk about the cooking oil he’s signing off on as being delivered.
Chirrut and Baze are great because it’s the first warrior/monk pairing I’ve seen where the monk is the one saying “hold my beer” and doing reckless shit and the warrior is the one shaking their head and doing damage control
I think my favorite discrepancy between the Rogue One promo material and the actual film is that the promos make it look like this was a very carefully put together team and in reality it’s a bunch of people that Cassian Andor more or less kidnapped.
character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother
Honestly I think one of my favorite parts of the Ahsoka novel is when Ahsoka is thinking about her options and when she realizes that she could just go off to some random uninhabited planet to live out the rest of her days in exile, she immediately dismisses it as a terrible idea and joins up with the rebellion instead.
I just, okay, so, Bodhi is the messenger, right, that’s his WHOLE JOB. And he spends the entire movie trying to get a message to the Rebellion and be believed. And at first he’s grabbed by Saw’s people, and they don’t really believe him and they’re not really the Rebellion. And then he’s jailbroken and kidnapped by Cassian (Rogue One is basically just a bunch of people Cassian Andor kidnapped), and he gets to the Rebellion but they don’t believe him–or at least not enough of them.
And then, God, and then he’s down on Scarif and he finally gets through. It costs so many lives, so many ships, but he gets his message to the Rebellion and they hear him and believe him. There’s someone up there. There’s someone listening. Bodhi the messenger has finally delivered his message.
While I was making cherry almond clusters, I was thinking about that post about Leia being Bail and Mothma’s big plan to deal with the Death Star, and now I’m sad that we never got to see Obi-Wan deal with Leia.
Can you imagine? He sees the message from Artoo and he’s like, “wow, she looks like Padme, wow, Bail and Breha did a great job, but she’s in trouble so let’s go.” And then he’s stuck on the Falcon with Han and Luke and he’s like, it will be so nice to talk to a calm, reasonable person again, because Han is amusing but annoying and Luke is–Luke is too many memories of his father and a sweetness that Obi-Wan doesn’t want to see stripped from him, and it’s not the boy’s fault Obi-Wan has all this baggage, but Leia will be refreshingly baggage-free.
And then he meets her.
omg poor obi wan
it’s not like he ever forgot about anakin’s temper and passion but I guess he never thought what that would be like to deal with after being raised by two consummate politicians and rebel leaders
And her impatience and willingness to shoot first and maybe ask questions later.
Obi-Wan would suddenly feel even more ancient and yet also twenty years younger all at once. And she would just be like, “Well, do you have an idea, General? I’d hoped you were smarter than these two moon jockeys you brought with you–my father speaks very highly of you. But if you need me to take charge, get out of the way.”
‘I just thought you’d be more like Padme’
*Leia huffs in annoyance, pulls a blaster out of nowhere and wades in to sort shit out*
‘Okay, I may have conveniently forgotten that about Padme’
Ha yes! And meanwhile, Han’s like, “whew, she’s finally yelling at someone else, you handle her, old man.”
And Leia is like, “I do not need to be handled!” each word punctuated by another blaster shot. “Do you moof milkers have a plan for getting out of here, or do I have to do that myself, too?”
Luke is following along like it’s the latest holodrama Uncle Owen never let him watch, half in awe and half jealous, though he’s not sure if it’s Obi-Wan’s or the princess’s attention he really wants.
High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.
The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.
Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.
You can’t hold in a period like pee.
Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.
Feel free to add your own.
- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.
- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.
- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.
- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.
-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.
- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.
- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different.
- Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble
- Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn
- Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink”
- EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING
-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief. If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.
We have never, ever looked in a mirror and silently described our nude bodies to ourselves, especially the size/shape/weight/resemblance to fruit/etc. of our breasts.
when lying down, turning around or moving about in any way, boobs (especially large ones) change their shape. They just don’t stand there like they’re waiting for the fricken bus or some shit. they move, they flatten, sometimes they *gasp* sag. neither is a sign of ugliness or age.
If boobs spill out over the top of the bra cup, that bra doesn’t fit
Not every nude moment is sexual
Cat calls can be terrifying & are never pleasant.
Being checked out by strange men is usually uncomfortable.
Princess Leia, who moments ago dropped out of hyperspace after fleeing the first major battle of the Galactic Civil War: Lord Vader, I should have known. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you’ve attacked a diplomatic…
Darth Vader,
who literally just saw this happen an hour ago at most and watched her ship take off: Don’t play games with me, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy
mission this time. You passed directly through a restricted system. Several transmissions were beamed to this
ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent
you.
Princess Leia, who received the data from the hands of a man who witnessed Vader kill a dozen people on his way there: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to
Alderaan.
Darth Vader, who has been following her the entire time and can read minds:
in the horrible wake of carrie fisher’s death i’ve still smiled every time i see “drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra” quoted anywhere and i can’t believe carrie fisher was so sharp and so funny that she preemptively came up with a line to comfort us about her own death
Although re the grammar post I have seen "wonton", the dumpling, spelled both "wanton" as well as "wantan", and I personally am more inclined to pronounce it "wantan".
I had no idea that was a thing! I now know ‘wantan’ is an approved alternate spelling of the pinyin (did some research because I love Google), but it looks like ‘wanton’ is just the sex thing. And I think the issue comes in more when people talk about ‘moaning wontonly,’ which just.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I dunno, that always brings me up short and makes me ask Questions.
IT WAS SCREAMING SEEKING SCREAMING AND I THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME, SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN A NICE THING. also MAN chirrut and baze and the different things they judge people on, the different influences that shape who they can consider 'good', BAZE TAKING DARKNESS INTO HIMSELF TO SPARE CHIRRUT, JUST FUCK ME UP I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THAT BEFORE AND NOW I CAN'T STOP
I’M GLAD MY DUDE BECAUSE IT’S ALL I’VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT FOR LIKE THE BEST PART OF THREE HOURS NOW.
INDEED I HAVE MY BUDDY MY PAL. I’m not fully caught up through the end of the first season, but I feel so #blessed to have this sort of gay shit in my life, like, my god.
First off, I love how obscure this is. Like, is this a prompt? Is this a request for meta? Is this just screaming? Who knows!
But I’m just gonna assume it’s screaming, seeking screaming, mostly because I have to get a couple things off my chest.
*deep breath*
OKAY SO, Chirrut’s comment about the Force moving darkly around someone who’s about to kill, HERE IS MY QUESTION. Chirrut whackin’ people with his stick looks pretty nonlethal–painful, certainly, but mostly not going to kill you. (The bowcaster thing will kill you, and Chirrut will kill you, but the stick won’t kill you.) On the other hand, you have Murder Master Baze, basically holding his own version of the Space OK Corral wherever he decides to open fire.
So does the Force move darkly around Baze? Do long strips of thick, sticky darkness cling to him, where he used to glow bright with faith? Does he do the bulk of the killing to protect Chirrut’s soul from them?
AND ALSO. Cassian, God, Cassian Andor lives so much in the desperate need to know that his terrible deeds, all the things he wishes he could forget, are what the cause needs. He has to know that his Rebellion needs him and needs his ruthlessness in order to absolve himself.
How much would it have meant to him, to have someone tell him outright that he doesn’t have the face of a killer? How much would it have meant to him to know that even to these monks, he has the face of a friend?
IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU ARE ‘WEARY’. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU ARE ‘WARY’.
ALL IN ‘DUE’ TIME, NOT ‘DO’ TIME
‘PER SE’ NOT ‘PER SAY’
THANK YOU
BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE
BREATH - THE NOUN FORM
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE
WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY
WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but one’s mind can wander)
DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN
WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)
WONTON - IT’S A DUMPLING THAT’S ALL IT IS IT’S A FUCKING DUMPLING
BAWL- TO SOB/CRY
BALL- A FUCKING BALL
YOU CANNOT “BALL” YOUR EYES OUT
AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT’S NOT “SIKE”; IT’S “PSYCH”. AS IN “I PSYCHED YOU OUT”; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASN’T TRUE.
THANK YOU.
*slams reblog*
IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
I’m fucking dying; we’ve got this three year old over, and he finds our Green Lantern mask, so he comes up to me wearing it and asks what Green Lantern’s powers are. So I tell him Green Lantern has a ring that can ‘make anything he imagines’ (I mean he’s three, I’m not going to Get Into It) and he runs off.
And like 40 seconds later, we hear, “Ring, make me into the Flash!”
When Harry gets his first place after Hogwarts that actually has more than one floor, he comes home after getting a load of boxes to find Hermione using a sledgehammer on the drywall beneath the stairs. And Ron’s like, “Look, mate, I borrowed this stuff from my dad, I’ve got a DRILL and a - what’s it called again, Hermione?” “A stud finder.” “Right, one of those, and we’re going to fix your stairs.” Harry’s like, “But there’s nothing wrong with them.” “Yes, Harry, there is.” Harry’s just sort of standing there in total bewilderment while Hermione totally demolishes the wall. “We couldn’t have done that with magic?” “No, Harry, this is personal. You two take this mess out to the skip.” And then Harry stands around a while longer and Hermione puts in support beams in the appropriate places so the stairs don’t fall in, and Ron’s very excited about using the stud finder even though Hermione won’t let him use the drill. When they’re finished, Harry has this set of shelves. So he says, still completely confused, “I thought we picked this place because it had loads of storage.” And Hermione says, “Go get some of my books. I know it’s just shelves, but it’s not a bloody cupboard.”
And every time Harry moves for the rest of his life, Ron and Hermione are there on moving day and they knock out anything under the stairs, even if it’s just a wall. Hermione reads a lot of books. Ron learns to use a miter saw and a carpenter’s square and practices the nail hammering spell until he can do it perfectly on the first try. And sometimes it isn’t very practical but it looks nice…
And sometimes, when they all get older and have children, it’s cozy and has a purpose…
And eventually Hermione gets the trick of there being nothing under the stairs at all…
Which is the story of how Harry Potter never lived in a house with a cupboard under the stairs again for the entire rest of his life.
Some Nat/Steve friend fluff for @littlestartopaz, in
that soulmate AU from earlier, reading it probably isn’t necessary but I’m always in search of approbation. This is
probably just a few months after the Avengers were formed, in my bastardized
movies-comics-wishful-thinking-verse where they all live in Avengers Tower.
Steve and Natasha are sparring, because Steve gets nervous about
sparring with fragile normal humans and Natasha is willing to bully him into
it. Tony isn’t generally one to spar,
given the suit, and Clint’s still recovering from the cracked rib he sustained
on their last mission, and Thor, who could take Steve’s full strength punch
without batting an eye, is still off-planet handling his psychopath
brother. (No one asks Bruce to spar,
because they all like being un-splatted.)
So Natasha drags Steve’s protesting ass into the ring and punches him in
the face until he fights back. Unless he
manages to actually grab her, it’s a pretty fair match.
It’s a system, okay, and if Natasha thinks it’s funny that he’s afraid
he’ll hurt her, that’s between her and the inside of her own skull.
You just decimated that cat-caller, please marry me?
I’m moving and as I was carrying my table out of my old building I dropped it and a leg fell off and I cannot deal with this today but you just said ‘I got this’, busted a hammer and nails out of your purse, and started fixing my table in the middle of the sidewalk?
I saw somebody following you so I was trying to catch up and tell you but I was too late and you just stone cold judo-flipped that mugger and I was going to offer to make sure you got home safe but on second thought would you mind walking me home?
My incredibly stupid cat just jumped out of my apartment window after a bird and you caught her in your arms like a baby and looked up, stared me dead in the eye and said “I think you dropped something”
You walked into my shop, ordered three black coffees like you were on a coffee run for your friends or something, and then shotgunned them one after another right in front of me and I am concerned
Due to some kind of accidental spark all of the fireworks in the back of my car are now all exploding at the same time so I abandoned ship only to watch you bust out a fire extinguisher and rescue my poor car how can I thank you
“My daughter, she tells me when she grows up she wants to be a singer or a comic. I said ‘Well, baby, if you wanna be a comic, you gotta be a writer. But don’t worry, you’ve got tons of material: Your mother is a manic depressive, drug addict. Your father’s gay. Your grandmother tap dances and your grandfather eats hearing aids.’ And my daughter laughs and laughs and laughs and I said ‘Baby, the fact that you know that’s funny is gonna save your whole life.’”—Carrie Fisher (via mybodywakesup)
