For those of you Not Up To Date, Shiko is my poor necromancer who starts out as the villain of my Alleirat story.
36: Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?
Ha ha, um? Depends on the emotion. Now, Shiko grew up as a trans girl in a Japanese family. I have More Research lined up and if anyone was comfortable talking to me about life as a trans person in Japan, I’d be thrilled, but I’m making the radical leap that life as a trans person anywhere comes with a certain degree of learning emotional control to not shiv ignorant morons every other day (extrapolated from being a butch queer in a small town as well as various conversations with my trans friends). More to the point, Shiko’s life on Earth often left her feeling very isolated for a number of reasons, which has led her to a good degree of control over her emotions as she doesn’t like to be seen to be upset or distressed. So anger, sadness, etc, not so much–she’s very good at tactical thinking and resisting the immediate impulse to do something to ‘resolve’ the emotion unless she decides it’s a good idea objectively.
That being said, Shiko doesn’t respond well to fear, specifically fear of the unknown, and will immediately grasp at any option that she feels will give her some control over an unknown situation–like for example winding up in a strange world where no one speaks English or Japanese and she can see ghosts. Pretty much Shiko’s response to that sort of event is whatever she feels will give her some understanding and control…with absolutely no thought for what it might result in.
This is the source of like 95% of her problems. The other 5% is caused by buff tree women.
Moran, have you seen John Wick 1 or 2? And if you have, what are your thoughts/feelings on the ball of angry Keanu Reeves plays?
I have seen John Wick and very much want to see John Wick 2 because I will tell you a few things that are very important to me:
Angry Keanu Reeves
Beautifully choreographed fight scenes
Dogs! (Yes a dog dies and it’s very sad but he gETS ANOTHER DOG, headcanon that John Wick is the only assassin in the world who has 15 dogs at home, they’re all beautiful and incredibly well cared for and he loved them all very much.)
Beautifully choreographed fight scenes iN SUITS
Honestly Keanu Reeves in general? I like him a lot. I was introduced to Bill & Ted very young and have not been able to figure out what the fuck people’s issue with him is since then. I recommend Constantine for more gratuitous Keanu Reeves violence with intricate underworlds and good one-liners. Constantine is one of my top five favorite movies and I’m actually weirdly into the theology in it.
Complex networks of underground criminal enterprises with Rules (and God save you if you break The Rules)
Literally any form of media in which the main character is the best and most competent person in any given room, and which isn’t afraid to embrace that wholeheartedly (I really dislike the concept of a character being ‘too competent’ but that’s a separate rant)
Neutral ground hotels/bars/whatever
The moment on the phone with the Russian mob boss where he’s very angry that someone dared to hit his (useless) son, and he’s told that the guy killed John Wick’s dog and took his car, and the mob boss just goes very silent for a moment before he says “Oh”
So anyway I love that movie it’s very fun and I like movies with a lot of gratuitous detail in their criminal empires. Also apparently Keanu Reeves trained for John Wick at the same time that Charlize Theron was training for Atomic Blonde (I haven’t even seen that movie yet but I can already tell you: we could make a religion out of that) and they sparred a lot during that time period.
“It started because I was doing a press conference, and someone was like, “Oh, we loved The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” And I was like, “Well you know we’re doing another one!” And everyone was like “WOAH!” So then I left the press conference and I e-mailed Guy, the director, and Lionel, the producer, and I was like, “Uuuhhh, just a heads up guys, I just told a room full of international reporters that you’re working on another Man From U.N.C.L.E. Soooo when are you getting the script ready?“ And the response was “… are you serious?” I was like, “Yeah, pretty serious.” And then the news started to come out and Lionel wrote back, and he was like “Well, I’ll have a script by the end of the year.””—
Armie Hammer talking about how he really came thru for us to bring us the Man From U.N.C.L.E. sequel we deserve, The Today Show, June 5
There’s a nice explanation of this in the fic, but here is the new system for posting: Dragon Age on Wednesdays (this fic), Animorphs on Saturdays or Sundays (this series), and variousongoinglongerfics replacing one of those two whenever a chapter is finished. Tumblr fic is just going up when it’s done.
Please. Please. Please. Stay away from heroin and meth. Please.
Don’t say “I just wanna try it once, I can control myself.” Don’t say it.
Just please don’t ever do those two drugs. Please.
Please
THISSSSSS
also stay way from Molly and ecstasy. they are drugs found usually at raves and clubs and when taken cause the “happiness receptors” in your brain to be destroyed and can never be fixed meaning you will never feel happy again unless you take the drug again, which leads to dependence and overdose. these drugs also cause hyperthermia which causes your body to heat up at an alarming rate. seriously stay away from these.
We need more of these posts, educating us that not all drugs are harmful. We need more posts that give us information on safe environments for drug users, and what to do if something does go wrong. We need to be told how to safely do these drugs. Telling someone not to do drugs will just harm them more. I’d rather know how to do a certain drug safely than be oblivious and be severely harmed.
I can agree with the first part, H and Meth are a road better left untraveled. I have a couple of friends who have kicked heroin addiction and say it was the worst idea they ever had, the ones who couldn’t kick it are dead.
The post about Molly and Ecstasy is ridiculous and sounds like it was written by a 13 year old with X’s on the back of their hands. Your serotonin production get diminished for about a day, which does generally lead to a gloomy feeling, but it’s not a permanent condition. Hyperthermia is real, but not a guaranteed effect as it affects everyone differently. I overheat every time I do Ecstasy, which is why I wont take it, but I’m also 130lbs with a very high metabolism, not a prime candidate for taking speed.
For those who are curious, here’s some real advice on social drug use….
Know Your Dealer - Buying drugs you’ve never taken off of someone you’ve never met is just stupid. Buying drugs you have taken off of someone you don’t know is also risky, but if you’re careful it generally works out. A lot of times people will try to sell you one thing by saying it’s something else. It’s usually bad product that they can’t get rid of. Other people will straight rip you off. You know how easy it is to fake a hit of blotter? It’s literally a piece paper.
Know Your Limits - I had a friend who used to go crazy with Acid, taking waaay more than was necessary. One day he took an insane dose and got arrested because he was found groping women in the park. There’s a point with all drugs at which you lose control of yourself, your limit is well before that point. And with certain drugs, there is no chance to learn from your mistakes.
Don’t Do It Alone - Particularly with psychedlics, it’s good to have a trip-sitter, someone who is sober and can drive you around and make sure you don’t do anything too stupid. With rave drugs it’s also good to have someone in case you overheat, and again, to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.
Don’t Show Off - Nobody worth a shit cares how much booze you can drink, how many hits of acid you can eat, or how much weed you can smoke. If anything, they’ll shake their head at the total waste. And believe me, there is such a thing as too high
and most importantly DON’T TRY A DRUG UNLESS YOU FEEL READY TO TRY THE DRUG. Don’t ever let someone pressure you into taking something. Nobody else knows when it’s the right time for you, and being scared or filled with doubt will generally end up bad. A lot of people will try new things at concerts or festivals, which is very risky. I recommend testing yourself under a controlled situation before throwing yourself into a crowd of 30,000 people with a head full of chemicals you’re not familiar with.
BOOST THIS
Good post except for the first bit about molly. That’s……… that’s not how it works…
Don’t do drugs errybody. I’ve lost years of my life and multiple loved ones to them. There are way better ways to spend your time and money, I PROMISE. And if you are gonna do drugs, do your damn research and use as many harm reduction methods as possible! Just because they are overly stigmatized in our society does not mean they can’t genuinely fuck your entire shit up.
Also, in the event of a serious disaster–a really bad reaction, an overdose, etc–DO call the paramedics and DO tell them whatever you can about what drugs were involved. The EMTs are not going to hand you over to the cops, but some drugs interact very badly with other necessary medical drugs, and some overdoses are treatable while others are limited supportive care (oxygen, etc). They are legally not permitted to call the cops on you. Please tell them what you know so that they know what they’re dealing with.
so remember when I said that all Diana needed to round out her parallels to Steve Rogers was a brainwashed loved one believed dead for a long period of time?
so if ur in the uk and are eligible to vote in the 2017 general election and u don’t want the tories to get in but ur not sure who to vote for, you can put your postcode into this website and it will tell how best to tactically vote against conservative. i know a spreadsheet version of this circulated already but thought id share because this is super easy to use :)
I have a question about Alleirat. You've mentioned that the society isn't advanced enough for HRT and such (yes I read your tags please don't shame me) is it because they have a heavier reliance on magic? So that the advances we've made with technology would be substituted with a magical alternative? Sorry for the bother,
My dude, I write more tag than post sometimes, far be it from me to shame you for reading my tags.
And yes, you are correct! Alleirat isn’t very developed technologically speaking–they have gravity-driven indoor plumbing, but only a basic system, and clockwork (like…clocks for example, I guess), but it would just never occur to them to do something like build an internal combustion engine because they have magic to perform the same job. Horses (as well as most other fauna) is stronger, more resilient, and longer-lived (also often bigger) due to the high concentration of magic in the world, so short-distance travel is easily accomplished either on foot or on horseback. For long-distance travel (Alleirat as a continent is maybe a little smaller than Russia?), they have what they call kathen, or ‘gates’ (like a magic door, basically), which are controlled and manipulated by teams of specifically trained magic workers who literally cannot do other types of magic. Kathen can’t transport large amounts of cargo because the opening can rarely be made larger than maybe a set of double doors, so shipments are often accomplished by sailing ships or overland caravans.
Medically speaking, again, they’re heavily reliant on magic. A specific kind of magic worker called a flesh worker serves as a universal healer, but that does mean that there are some logistical limitations in comparison to our own medically advanced society. A flesh worker can repair the damage from a sword wound to the chest or even kill a cancer with a thought, yeah, but the idea of an organ transplant, a limb reattachment, or even a blood transfusion just wouldn’t occur to them. So a flesh worker (re: the HRT thing) might be able to increase one hormone or decrease another, but it would be a wicked precarious arrangement far less manageable than our medically accomplished version. Likewise, a flesh worker might be able to perform the equivalent of top surgery (or, if you went to one of the less legal flesh workers, actually alter the bone structure of your face) but…there are a lot of limitations there. Moreover, they don’t have the equipment to even start to approach some of this stuff–like, a flesh worker does all their healing with their bare hands, they don’t exactly keep sterile needles around for blood transfusion.
…I’ve put a reasonable amount of thought into this.
…………………reblog this and say something nice about the person u reblogged it from because there’s too much hate on my dashboard right now and its making me upset so lets start a chain of love
…I 274% did not expect anyone to actually do this ask meme.
But yes! Let’s do the thing!
13.
Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?
It’s a strong tossup between Wrath and Greed tbh.
Wrath because…Brenneth is angry and she has been for eighteen years, since Crispin showed up in her forge with blood on his hands and an offer to come with him. Brenneth is angry A Lot, there are days where she wakes up and the taste of fury is already on her tongue, and when they turn her loose to go back to battle, she is so, so grateful. Her chest burns hotter every moment, and the magic of the white fire thrives off her anger.
Greed because Brenneth wants her world and her home and her smithy and her people and her city and her Crispin and her sword. Brenneth looks at the world as being ‘mine’ and ‘not mine’ and all of Alleirat is hers and she spends fourteen years on Earth where her first thought of every morning and her last thought of every night is a greedy craving to stand in the Alleirai sun and look over the Talein Mountains and see the twin moons rise. She wants to go home to Alleirat and she wants Crispin to be there with her, free and clear, and she couldn’t give less of a damn about the word ‘impossible.’ Fire is a greedy master.
She would not have called herself particularly wrathful nor particularly avaricious, back before the White Wolf. She thinks of that girl as very naive.
Objectively speaking, the single greatest image that has been produced by the Animorphs series is Elfangor as a reckless Andalite cadet speeding over the Taxxon homeworld in a bright yellow Mustang convertible while he tries to figure out how to make the radio stop blasting Satisfaction and drinks Dr. Pepper.
As a person with a liberal arts degree who basically has never worked in the field for which she studied, I submit to you that Patty Tolan could potentially hold at the very least a Bachelor’s in American History.
Statistically, Black women are the most educated, degree-holding group in America, and STEM degrees are not the only ones that matter.
She could also potentially be an autodidact, but there’s no reason she has to be.
STEM degrees are not the only ones that matter. Those of us with advanced degrees who are underemployed know this. Hell, several STEM degree holders are also underemployed.
Picture Patricia Tolan’s Master thesis on the history of capital punishment in New York being how she identified that ghost in the subway and tell me that isn’t fucking awesome.
She might also have an MA as an architecture historian, which is how she knows so much about specific buildings and their histories
ok but
architecture historian patty tolan predicting the kind of specters that might show up based on the age of the building
architecture historian patty predicting where most ghost activity will be based on which areas are undergoing extreme gentrification, all that ‘renovating’ stirs up a lot of angry ghost energy
patty knowing the escape routes because she’s familiar with the style of architecture and can get everyone out if the ghost gets too hostile
patty being really concerned over the amount of damage their equipment can do to historic structures (and holtz tinkering with it to make them do less damage in the physical world and more to ghosts because she cares about her gf)
patty geeking out when one of the more destructive technologies reveals the original facade of a cool building behind a soulless modern cover
patty being able to calm ghosts down by showing homeowners and renters and landlords what updates to the structure probably got the ghost mad and advising them to get rid of it because its not in the right style anyways
patty going to the archives and doing initial research of a ghost because the archives are cool and its nice to have her hands on original source material again, amazing to be actually using her degree, even if its for something weird and a little scary
I keep imagining the deleted scene where Patty offhandedly mentions she has an MA in history, and Erin asks why she isn’t teaching. Patty gives her the eyebrow. “Nobody’s hiring tenure-track historians. Only adjuncts. Have you SEEN what adjuncts make?”
::in the background, Holtzmann nods knowingly::
Patty finishes, “At least at the MTA, I get dental insurance and overtime.”
Because in all honesty, the situation for liberal arts grad students right now makes this 100 percent plausible.
Reblogging for that awesome addition.
Haha, I read this before I saw the movie, and I think I forgot it was fanon and not actual movie canon. 100% buy.
Y’all, you cannot even adjunct now with an MA–you need a PhD (for sure in NYC). And we still make shit. So basically I’m saying Patty has a PhD.
Patty has a doctorate in architecture history.
Erin, of course, has a doctorate in physics.
Holtzmann has at least two doctorates, a strict warning from the CIA about not traveling in the middle east, and a letter from a certain Director of a certain National Laboratory, both of which carry comparable amounts of weight in the right circles.
Abby… does not. If paranormal studies was a field, she’d be its Grace Hopper. As it is, she’s more of an Ada Lovelace.
And so, when Erin gets in to work, and is in a good mood, the following exchange has been known to happen:
“Doctor.” “Doctor.”
“Doctor doctor,” “Doctor.”
“Abby.”
“…fuck you.”
(Holtzmann once made a comment to the tune of “please do”, and discovered that Abby had quite the throwing arm.)
a new law is about to be passed in Saudi Arabia that will allow the government to execute people for coming out or being openly gay online.
ignoring the fact that this is literally something out of some kind of dystopian novel, in the interests of safety i’ve emptied out my face tag and may temporarily deactivate or password protect this blog.
please reblog this and get the word out, and if you pray, please pray for me and my fellow Saudi LGBTQ+/MOGAI family.
ALSO, for those who need it [x]. its a post on erasing all traces of yourself from the interwebs.
this is not something to read and keep to yourself. please spread this around. may Allah keep everyone safe.
as far as I know, there is no large carnivore who would abandon actively eating a killed meal to chase live prey. chasing and hunting live prey is a risk, as a healthy live creature has the capability to injure a carnivore, or tire it out through the chase. If there is, say, a giant pile of dead bodies to eat, which abandoning would allow other carnivores or scavengers to steal and eat instead, it makes no sense at all.
please stop doing that thing
The sole exception I can think of is if the large carnivore thought the live prey was another carnivore or scavenger, and was chasing them as a threat display to ensure they didn’t steal the dead bodies. Even in that case, though, it would only be a short, mock charge followed by returning to the pile if the opponent fled. With possibly whatever the animal’s equivalent of “and stay out” would be.
Another thing: most carnivores don’t like to fight. They have to mug something to death for every single meal, they have to stay in top shape while conserving their energy. Meanwhile, herbivores have plenty of extra energy because they eat stuff that comes out of the ground and doesn’t fight back, and they often live in big social groups, so they’re better at handling stress and more used to having to actually come to blows with other animals to get their way.
So like, a zebra will try kick your ass just to see what’s up. A tiger won’t do shit unless it’s damn sure it can take you. I’d rather come face to face with a cougar than a stag— have you seen videos of what happens to hunters when a stag catches a dude on the ground? the stag tears the dude apart. Not even to eat him. Just because the stag didn’t like what was going on and decided it was time to curb stomp a motherfucker.
So if you’re deciding what kind of Big Scary Animals to have be a threat, like, forget wolves and lions and eagles and velociraptors. Go drop in a moose.
This is why loud noise can scare bears away. It’s a threat display that normally convinces them that the charge isn’t worth the effort.
-Exception:
If a carnivore is Not That Hungry it might drop something dead to chase something that is doing Extreme Prey Behavior– but it’s not going to be serious about it. I’m thinking of things like a domestic cat that chases birds and mice for kicks. Honestly, I think that the t rex in Jurassic Park was a good example of predator behavior– she abandons something difficult (like the kids in the jeep) for the bright shiny thing she has been conditioned to understand means food (tightpants math guy with the flare + gruff dino man with flare). For the rest of the film, she chases things that run, and then quits and chows down once she has something. This has been one of my biggest beefs with the later JP films, especially Jurassic World– rather than the scares coming from being treated and stalked like prey by animals, the scares are based on monsters killing and eating randomly. (And what’s with the treatment of all the herbivores as good and gentle? Herbivores will fuck you up because they got scared or because you pissed them off and those are the two primary emotions of large herbivores– they won’t eat you, but they’ll still trample you).
+Addition:
The predators that aren’t snipers (like cougars or herons) tend to test individuals in a herd– they want to gauge your health and willingness to fuck somebody up before they commit to you as a target. If you stare them down with your cold dead eyes and gear up to wreck their shit they’ll piss off unless they’re completely desperate. (Like I said, the main emotions of prey animals are Time To Fuck Shit Up and Time To Run). So, I’m desperately tired of all these people running and screaming away from wolves and velociraptors and bears oh my.
Consider:
How much scarier fiction could be if predators acted like actual predators that can be intelligent and patient and are pressing around the edges of your party to find weakness and fear.
Ever gone back and read the original Jurassic Park book? Please don’t, fuckin’ awful I couldn’t even finish it for various reason but the predator behavior like this was a BIG problem. I got so angry at it…haha.
In many situations you’d be more likely to get chased and damaged by a herbivore feeling threatened than a predator already feeding (though push your luck there and see what happens…)
My favourite example of the “herbivores are harmless” fallacy is the
Cape Buffalo. If they’re unhappy about the presence of something that upsets them, they’ll make it go away…
…and if the
something-that-upsets-them
can’t run away fast enough (people, for one) then its going-away can be messy and permanent.
Someone (I think it was writer Robert Ruark) once described Cape Buffalo as “looking at you as if you owe them money.”
This lot all know you owe them money…
…but the big guy on the left knows how much, and that your repayment is late.
You know that thing where, like, a tomboy puts on a dress for a special event or something and everyone acts super “wowed” and goes on and on about how they never knew how beautiful she was? Don’t fucking do that thing.
Yeah for me it’s one thing for people to be like WOAH YOU ARE IN A DRESS and I’m like fricks yeah homie, but another when people say “I never knew how beautiful you are” like BITCH I AM ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL SWALLOW A LIVE WASP
i realize i’m maybe like, the Nichest of markets here, but i really really really desperately want to watch further adventures of Diana Prince, Curator of Antiquities™
…like, imagine the interdepartmental meetings
Diana: we have recently acquired several exquisite pieces of very early minoan kamares ware. i feel a refresh of the gallery might encourage our visitors to–
some marketing dipshit: look, we can’t get people in the door for pottery. we need another big show, like can you get a vermeer or–
Diana of Themiscrya, Amazon, God-Killer, Daughter of Hippolyta: pottery is important
some marketing dipshit, lightly pissing himself: i agree
Not only will I join you in the Nichest of Markets, but I am suddenly stricken by the dismay that can only come from a depressing awareness of how niche this market is. Does anyone…like…have fic?
HAHAHAHA OKAY SO I’m not gonna reblog the meta I just read because I get that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about who fictional characters are in love with even if I strenuously disagree with them and this was in no way directed at me and I don’t want to be an asshole, BUT ALSO just so we’re all aware:
the idea that James was not romantically in love with Miranda is, just. JUST. !!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU NOT SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HER? DID YOU NOT SEE HIM COMMUNICATING WITH HER WITH BOOK-PRESENTS, DID YOU NOT SEE HIM SMILING AT HER LIKE SHE WAS LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO HIM (BECAUSE SHE WAS), DID YOU MISS ALL OF TOBY STEPHENS DOING THE ACTING. IT WAS SUCH GOOD ACTING. THE VERY IDEA. THAT HE ISN’T IN LOVE WITH HER. THAT HE LOVES HER LIKE A MOTHER (OH MY GOD, IT WAS A METAPHOR, I AM DYING, DREAM MIRANDA ALSO CALLED HERSELF HIS MISTRESS AND HIS WIFE, AUGH.) DID YOU NOT SEE HIM IN THAT VERY SAME DREAM SEQUENCE LOOK AT HER WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE FUCKING WORLD ON HIS FACE AND MURMUR I’M RUINED OVER YOU. WHAT. THE FUCK. AND. the idea that James is gay and not bi and isn’t sexually interested in Miranda when footage of him giving Miranda that wolfish fucking grin in the carriage exists is so STUPENDOUSLY, WILFULLY, TREMENDOUSLY WRONG that I want to go scream like a banshee on the moors just to try to cope with the enormity of the degree to which it is wrong.
I get that the show is open to interpretation, and that it doesn’t label anybody’s sexuality because hey oscar wilde hadn’t gone to trial yet and so there were no labels for anybody’s sexuality, but, LIKE, OH MY GOD, if you don’t think James and Eleanor at the very fucking least are bisexual you are RECKLESSLY reading against the grain and this bitter bisexual actually does kind of hold it against you.
Fucking Wonder Woman. I'm dying. Im dead. I'm so gay. I literally gasped outloud and went "I'm gay" during many times in the movie and when Diana looks at Ares and said "Goodbye Brother" AND THEN WRECKED HIS FUCKING SHIT I STARTED CRYING I AM IN LOVE HELP
fuck you fuck ur fucking justice otp im crying now fuck all the feelings u just made me feel how dare
BUT IT WOULD BE SO GOOD.
Highlights of The Fucking Justice OTP include:
Steve Rogers, man out of time in the most literal sense, talking quietly with Diana about what he missed. The history books make it all sound like a horror show, and Diana tells him about a woman in Indonesia who sheltered fifteen orphans after a tsunami, about the ingenious ways that people escaped from the Soviet Union or over the Berlin Wall, about the people who have stood up and fought and died for freedom and honor and love. Diana tells him all the little stories that never get as much attention as the atrocities, all the thousand tiny reasons she still fights for humanity.
Diana Prince is the latest hiree at Stark Industries and her job is the local mystery. They’re pretty sure she’s a secretary except for how she wanders into the labs from time to time and critiques the practicality of Tony’s inventions. Steve hears someone call her ‘sweet cheeks’ and grins to himself when he hears the sound of Diana spraining some asshole’s wrist.
DIANA GOES WITH STEVE TO VISIT PEGGY. IT COMES TO LIGHT THAT PEGGY’S FRIEND DIANA IS ALSO THE WONDER WOMAN FROM VELD, THIS TAKES STEVE A MOMENT TO ADJUST. (It takes him much longer to reboot his brain from the BSOD he experiences when Peggy fondly reminisces about the time she and Diana went ass-kicking together–Peggy’s words. He would have paid all the money in the world to watch that.)
Steve idly braids Diana’s hair when they’re watching movies together, because Diana likes having her hair played with and Steve doesn’t sit still well. One time Diana is Steve’s date to a red carpet event and she gets asked who did her beautifully classic chignon, with tiny braids looping back above her ears like a diadem, and she informs the entire world that Captain America can braid hair. He starts braiding interns’ hair when he gets called onto talk shows.
WONDER WOMAN. WITH. THE AVENGERS.
She and Natasha have very different perspectives of being trained to fight from childhood. (Natasha reminds Diana of Antiope.)
Tony is genuinely very alarmed by Diana because she’s…so genuine? Like, he doesn’t really know how to cope with someone who doesn’t put up a front of sarcasm and prickly behavior.
Clint and Diana agree on a lot of things, and he finds her kind of restful–she’s not a blind optimist, but she has hope, and it’s something Clint has sorely needed in his life.
Bruce finds her kind of unnerving because she gets along really well with the Hulk, who thinks she is The Greatest.
Bucky shows up and Diana is exactly what he needs on his worst days, someone who’s simultaneously very calm around him and utterly invulnerable to even the worst of the Winter Soldier’s violence.
Sam thinks Diana is the Bee’s Literal Knees, but he’s easily as enthusiastic about her friends throughout history, which Diana is also pretty thrilled with, because HER FRIENDS HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL.
Thor is OVERWHELMED WITH DELIGHT when Diana handily whips his ass during a sparring match, and starts introducing her with “This is Princess Diana of Themyscira, the mighty Wonder Woman–she bested me in battle!” Also one day during a battle the world is treated to the sight of Diana, in all her armored glory, raising Mjolnir high to call down the wrath of…well, Diana on the enemy of the day.
Diana could bench press Steve and tbh he’s into it.
Hi! I would just like to tell you that Alleirat is based on ideas/tropes that I find absolutely fascinating (your Evil Nemesis becomes your friend/ally? Trying to adjust after the end of a portal fantasy? Actual diverse fantasy? Loving someone but not saying anything because you are So Unworthy? my exact jam I tell you.) and the snippet was really great! I would be most happy to pay to read the whole thing at some stage if that's the plan?
HONESTLY THIS IS SO GOOD TO HEAR MY DUDE BECAUSE I JUST OVERHAULED MY WHOLE LIFE TO FINISH THIS NOVEL AND START PUBLISHING MY WORK (starting with this one and then probably Alleirat), THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR TO LOWER MY FUCKING HEART RATE.
On a less panicky note, I’m so glad to hear that this is other people’s exact jam because ALLEIRAT IS MY EXACT JAM. I’m just so Tired of reading shitty redemption arcs or black and white morality or the Narnia plotline where you Outgrow The Magic, this novel (like…all my novels tbqh) is pure spite distilled over years of aggravation. All my novels are total self-gratification and it’s so SO amazing to be told that I’m not the only person enjoying the hell out of these tropes and concepts.
And yes! The plan is to actually publish that motherfucker at some point! I actually write…really fast, so I will keep all y’all posted on any and all developments re: publishing and agents and stuff, and it would be amazing if people actually bought my stuff!
I love you guys so much, oh my god, I’m actually tearing up a little rn.
Okay okay okay. So I’ve seen Star Trek: First Contact about a hundred times and I can’t believe I never noticed this.
So first contact with the Vulcans happens, right? The Vulcan ship lands…
Ooh look an alien. Pointy ears!
He offers what we as Star Trek fans recognize as the traditional Vulcan greeting.
Zefram Cochrane tries to copy…
Haha he can’t do it.
So he of course offers what he knows to be a traditional greeting, namely a handshake.
And ah yes, what a wonderful moment. Two cultures are exchanging greetings, learning about each other. It’s awesome.
Until you remember that Vulcans kiss with their hands.
So basically, this Vulcan offered a nice polite “how do you do” and Zefram Cochrane offered smoochies.
I really hope this came up in conversation later.
The Vulcans did a Kirk on the whole human race.
LET ME JUST STOP YOU ALL FOR A SECOND.
The person above was right, Vulcan’s kiss with their hands. But typically, the way they kiss only involves their index and middle finger being pressed against another person’s. That is a kiss.
In, “The Search for Spock,” you see that in the Vulcan culture, just running your fingers against someone else’s can be considered sex (the scene is super strange, but it’s heavily implied, forgive me if I’m wrong).
So, going on that thought, this isn’t just a kiss.
This is like, a make-out session, or at least a long, passionate kiss.
I just, I just can’t get over it because:
1. There are are other Vulcan’s watching these guys, but the Vulcan in front just fucking accepts the kiss.
2. This takes a second right? Like, Zefram can’t do the Vulcan salute so he offers his hand and this Vulcan just gives him this face like, “oh, um, alright? I guess I shouldn’t refuse.” And he just ACCEPTS IT.
The best thing over all is, after they connect, this Vulcan just gives this guy bedroom eyes. It’s like he’s thinking, “well, bold of you sir, bold. Such a strong grip. Perhaps we can do this again in private.”
I just…
THIS GUY.
I love the beat after the human sticks out his hand. Where the Vulcan looks down and realizes what he’s expected to do and just internally goes “Humans are fucking WILD” and fucking goes for it, full on macks on the first human he’s ever met.
While I absolutely agree that Lily Potter beat the shit out of snape when he joined the afterlife don’t forget Petunia Dursley.
Lily was estranged from her sister but still trusted her to take care of her son, who was found bleeding and crying on her doorstep after his parents were murdered. Only to find out that they hurt, starved, isolated, lied to, and locked in both a cupboard and then a room with bars on the window the son she died to protect so he could have a better life? I don’t care what the deleted scene said about petunia being sad lily died when she gets to the afterlife it is round two of lily potter MMA smackdown
hi, just want you to know, i think your search isn't working? nothing shows up, even when i use terms i know you've used. thanks for sharing your awesome writing with us, it always cheers me up to read your stories! p.s. i just read your post about amuniasa and it sounds AMAZING!!! keep up the good work!!!1
Ahhh yes, my search function is kind of a little fucker at the best of times. I think it’s because there’s dashes in my url? Things are p thoroughly tagged (although…not always logically) so like…try that? Feel free to ask if you want a specific tag because (ha) I’m a mess and my Tag Page is like 70% complete at any given time. But like, if you wanted all the Alleirat posts I’ve made or something, ‘words-writ-in-starlight.tumblr.com/tagged/alleirat’ should take you there.
And thank you so much it was so gratifying to write it all out!
I’d like to believe that the reason that the Amazons have the most EXTRA fighting style in existence is because they’re a warrior people with no war to fight so instead of just doing basic training like normal people, Antiope is like, “And now I’m going to teach you how to BACKFLIP off of a MOVING HORSE,” because they have to fill their time somehow.
@jollysunflora : The second half of my complete list of modern AU Animorphs headcanons, approximately one per book.
28. “Ax,” Marco says, “How come you can roll out ‘venti dulce de leche dark-chocolate frappuchino extra whip’ without batting an eye, but you giggle every time you have to say the word ‘soy’?”
“It has so many vowel—owl?—sounds, in so little space,” Ax says. “That long sssssssssss, so pleasant on the tongue, but then that odd oooyyy ooy-yah? All in the back of the mouth. Very strange. Sssoooy. Ssususs-oooyaaa.”
“Also, he’s moved on from the frappuchinos,” Tobias adds. “Now he keeps spending all our hard-stolen bitcoins on espresso mack… mach…”
“Espresso macchiato con panna,” Ax explains. “Doppio.”
29. Cassie feels herself sweating as she props the laptop across the room from her, tools laid out and Ax unconscious on the table. She never expected to find a YouTube video on how to perform brain surgery—and to be honest, it’s actually about “how neurosurgeons perform an orbitozygomatic craniotomy,” not intended to be a how-to manual—but it’s the best she can do under the circumstances, and so she’ll follow along for now.
MM3. “That’s the kind of strong leadership we need.” Jake gestures to the full-color television (this year’s latest model) where a program of their current leader plays on a loop. “Keeping the wrong kind of people out of this country, saving America for the right kind of Americans.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Rachel says. She and Tobias and Jake are the only three Animorphs, except when Melissa joins them sometimes, and listening to their “Supreme Leader” blather on gets old sometimes. “All I want to know is whether it’s true that within a few years people will really have phones that plug into their cars. That’d be cool.”
Tobias rubs his eyes against the silk of his wing feathers. They itch constantly, since he doesn’t have a gas mask to wear every time he goes out into the pollution-opaque air outside the way that his human friends do. Jake and Rachel take bets sometimes, idly, brutally, about whether he’s the last raptor left on the face of the planet.
“Magnificent!” Drode appears in their midst, and both the Berensons immediately point guns at his head.
30. Marco is lying on his bed the day after watching Eva fall, staring at a patch of wall above his dresser, when he registers that his phone has been buzzing for a while now. It goes off so many times he assumes he has to be getting a call, but when he checks his notifications he just discovers he’s gotten seventeen text messages in the last hour.
The first is from “Smurfette,” and says “Did you know that there is a type of food that involves baking a cinnamon bun inside of a donut? We must secure as many of these as it is possible for a human to consume, as soon as possible!”
The next one, from “Hawkgirl,” reads: “found out recently that apparently ax still thinks you invented flea powder. i told him that if youd invented flea powder wed all be a lot richer right now.”
“Team Dad” (not to be confused with “Real Dad,” which is how Marco lists Peter) sent along several invitations to team missions on League of Legends this afternoon, along with a threat to have Cassie play Marco’s avatar if Marco doesn’t join in. “we both know that by the time you get back you’ll have only healing attacks and she’ll have trained it to apologize automatically for stabbing people,” Jake adds.
One of the many texts from “Julia Butterfly Hill” suggests that Jake has underestimated Cassie’s diabolical streak, because it’s a screenshot of a clone of his account which has had its name changed to HarambeWasFramed.
The real surprise, however, is the single text from “Xena: Warrior Princess.” It’s a link to an article about a disaster in the local national park and the efforts to clean up the wreckage of an as-yet-unidentified craft which went down in the canyon. Marco has to read it a few times to understand the point she’s making, because it’s all about what’s not there: the article makes no mention of any human bodies being found among the wreckage.
Marco gets halfway through typing a reply to them all which informs them in no uncertain terms that he sees through their transparent attempts to cheer him up and doesn’t appreciate it, but he deletes without sending. He can practically hear his mom’s voice saying it: he can focus on the fact that he’s still surrounded by people who love him, or he can focus on the negative side of everything. And being constantly negative is no way to live.
31. “Sharing this again, because its been 3 months,” Jake’s cousin Brooke posts on Facebook. “Anyone who has any news at all about Saddler, no matter what it is, PLEASE contact my family. Big brother, I dont know if youre still out there, but I miss you. I miss you like crazy.”
Jake turns up his Spotify’s Offspring channel a little louder to drown out the sounds of Tom and his dad shouting at each other downstairs. His eyes flinch past Brooke’s post, but they can’t move fast enough to prevent the thought that flashes across the surface of his mind: Is this going to be me a year from now?
32. Tobias texts Rachel and Jake an article from Audubon.Org, where several birdwatchers are going into ecstasies of scientific fascination at the bald eagle and peregrine falcon seen flying in close formation in a cell-phone video taken near a highway overpass downtown. His only comment is, “Told you so.”
33. In the aftermath, Rachel does a Google search: “PTSD treatment symptoms outcomes.” She reads through the WebMD site, the NIMH page, the Wikipedia link to a DSM-5 entry. She thinks of Tobias’s withdrawn silences, his antipathy toward so much they used to enjoy, but she thinks of other things as well. How exhausted Jake seems any time they’re not on-mission. How badly Cassie flinches when the school bell rings and doors slam. How Ax seems to be gradually losing interest in the things—cooking shows, new condiments, human history trivia, These Messages—that once drew his fascination. How last week Marco flicked an ant off the back of his hand and then went white like he’d just kicked a puppy. How good it had felt when she’d hurt David, spreading the pain around, giving it back.
She catches an Uber to the clinic downtown, filling out forms in the waiting room based on the checklist written on her phone for “how to get tobias an ssri”: Yes, she often feels tense and worried. Yes, her heart often races for no reason. No, she hasn’t thought of ending her life. No, she doesn’t feel out of control when she eats.
She gets as far as developing a cover story—it’s about how she’s never felt the same since her parents’ divorce—but in the hallway to the office she panics and calls Cassie. “Am I doing the right thing?” she asks, after she’s explained.
Cassie is silent for a long time, never a good sign. “I’m not sure an SSRI would work on a bird,” she says at last, “and that’s even if we could figure out a dose that would work without killing him. I know you want to help, and I think you should, but…”
Rachel hears what she’s not saying: but what if her mom asks too many questions? But is this risk really worth it? But what if the psychiatrist (the receptionist, the pharmacist) is a controller? But isn’t it them, and only them, against the world, and isn’t that just how it has to be?
“The war won’t last forever,” Cassie says weakly, and Rachel hates her a little for it. “When it’s over, when we get to tell everyone what’s happening…”
Rachel hangs up. She goes home, morphs, and flies out to the woods.
«You know I love you, right?» she asks Tobias later that evening.
«Of course I do.» He sounds exhausted. She’s never felt more helpless in her life.
34. The Yeerk Peace Movement, as it comes out, has a Twitter feed. It is rather painfully obvious that it has been set up and run entirely by aliens who are doing their very best to communicate with humans, and not quite succeeding. Most of the posts are couplets, for some reason that none of the Animorphs can fathom.
“Want to be On Fleek? When you see someone’s rights threatened, speak!”
“Don’t be a Belieber anymore - end slavery and even the score.”
“#tbt: Remember when we were symbiotes? Give taxxon freedom your sympathy votes!”
“Nickelback is super lame, and keeping involuntary hosts is just the same.”
“Respect your host’s rights today, and make your human into your bae!”
35. It’s Marco who comes up with the idea for how to take down William Roger Tennant. This is a guy, after all, whose cockatiels have their own Instagram account: he runs his fame on the internet.
“It’s simple,” Marco explains. “We start a hashtag—#notsonicetennant—and we make it go viral. All we have to do is film this guy everywhere he goes, and eventually the yeerk will slip up.”
It proves not to be simple after all. Their gif of Tennant twitching madly mid-EPA speech gets overshadowed by the news story about One Direction nearly getting poisoned with spiders at the same banquet. Ax does not understand the concept of hashtag, and keeps adding #notsonicetennant to his retweets of what Marco calls “food porn.” They train one of Tobias’s repurposed GoPros to follow poodle-Marco, but that becomes a meme mocking the world’s most obnoxious stray dog rather than Tennant himself.
The plan finally, finally comes off when they pull out all the stops and just confront him in morph. The smartphones that Rachel rigged up in the surrounding buildings don’t pick up the thought speak, but the audio of Tennant screaming at the aliens to leave him alone comes through just fine.
When the scandal breaks, the internet (in truly predictable fashion) drops #notsonicetennant and starts using #tennantgate instead.
Ax reposts an old photo of Tennant eating a quinoa salad—zoomed in on the salad—and tags it #tennantgate. All of his teammates assure him they appreciate the attempt.
36. “All right, that’s just weird,” Marco says, looking at the final entry in the underwater creepshow they’ve been walking through for the past hour. “All the other ships have been getting more modern as we’ve gone, but this one? Looks like it was made in the sixties, at the latest.”
«The world’s creepiest museum curators are getting sloppy with the placement of bodies as well,» Tobias points out. «There’s no way that many people could fit on a boat that small. They’re practically falling over the sides.»
Jake and Cassie look at each other, seeing the same realization reflected in each other’s eyes. Neither one of them wants to say it out loud.
Jake becomes the one to bite the bullet. “Don’t you get it?” He points to the ragged clothes, the emaciated bodies, the modern smartphone tucked in among the antiquated radio equipment. “They were refugees.”
37. Rachel shuts the window on the library computer as soon as she hears someone walk into the room, but she can tell she was too late by the look on Jake’s face when she turns around.
“Roy Ludvig, huh?” Jake says. “Heck of a name.”
“He was at the T.V. studio when we attacked.” Rachel looks down, picking at her nail polish. “No civilians were supposed to be in danger.”
Jake’s expression softens, as much as it ever does. “And now you’re scrolling through his Facebook, looking for something that’ll let you sleep at night.”
“He’s got a grandson,” Rachel blurts. “Jordan’s age. He…” She shrugs. He’s dead, and it’s more or less her fault.
“Shouldn’t be looking on Facebook.” Jake sets his phone on the library table next to her, taps the screen to bring up an official-looking report. “You should be, say, borrowing my dad’s computer. Sending an email from his account to ask for the guy’s medical records. If you had, you’d know that Mr. Roy Ludvig had a heart condition. That he had maybe a year to live, at most, and doctors said he might die at any old time.”
Rachel looks down at the report for a long time, and eventually looks up at Jake. “Doesn’t make it okay, what I did,” she says. “He’s still dead.”
Jake shrugs. “You don’t have to forget it ever happened, but you do have to live with it. Live, and fight another day.”
38. In the aftermath of Estrid’s visit, Tobias is flying over the boardwalk when he sees a henna artist who clearly smokes way too much pot to be a Yeerk. He gets Ax, they morph human, and both get henna tattoos of Elfangor’s name. (Ax had previously expressed an admiration for the human tradition of commemorating a lost loved one by making markings on one’s body.) They know the tats will disappear when they demorph, but they’re both glad they did it. The artist asks how long they’ve been together, and Tobias says in a scandalized voice, “he’s my UNCLE!” Thus, Tobias succeeds in both of his goals: making Ax laugh, and reminding him he has family here on Earth. Honestly, the reminder doesn’t hurt Tobias either.
39. “You know, not all squirrels are like that,” Marco is fond of saying after a morph goes wrong. “Not all termites are horrifying worker drones.” Sometimes it’s, “You know, some of my best friends are fleas.”
It’s Cassie, however, who gets the last laugh out of that one. «You know, Marco,» she says as they swim away from the wreckage of the helicopter, «Not all ants are like that, right? I shouldn’t say that all ants are killers, right?»
Marco stares at her in silence while the others snicker, watching him war between the two impulses: to keep the joke going forever, and to express his honest hatred of ants.
«Come on.» And now Rachel has joined in on the teasing. «You’re just going to let that kind of besmirching of the ant community stand?»
«Okay, okay!» Marco gives in. «Ants suck. Yes, all ants!»
40. “Our experts have examined the video extensively, and near as we can conclude, this footage is genuine and unedited,” the newscaster says. “Given how viral this video has proven to be, with over two million views since it was posted to YouTube on Wednesday, everyone wants to know: is this footage proof that aliens exist? Is this a publicity stunt for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel? Or, as one YouTube commenter asks, did a Smurf just have sex with a centaur?”
«Potential new ally?» Tobias suggests. He’s already tapping out a search for the original video in his modified tablet.
Ax laughs. «Of course not. He’s crippled. A vecol. Useless. We must respect the privacy of his isolation.»
“You know what? Fuck that,” Marco snaps. He shoves to his feet, posture tight with anger. “Just… Fuck that,” he tells Ax. “I have ADHD. Attention Deficit whateverthefuck. I take a pill every morning to help me function because my brain isn’t good enough to filter stimuli all by itself. I got a fucking 135 on the world’s most boring IQ test and I’m still failing half my classes. I’m a vecol. You think I’m useless, huh? You gonna start refusing to talk to me because of some bullshit about ‘respecting’ my ‘privacy’? Huh?”
«That’s different,» Ax says. «You’re not…» He doesn’t seem to know how to finish that sentence.
«If he’s an exception, I hope I am too,» Tobias says more gently. «I got screened for anxiety disorders as a kid, and I guess we’ll never know if I qualify or not, ‘cause my aunt decided that doctors cost money and if the test said I needed one then she didn’t want to know about it.»
Ax doesn’t answer for a long time. He doesn’t seem to know where to look.
«Let’s go tell the others what we found.» Tobias taps a button to send the video to himself. «We can talk more about this later.»
MM4. Tobias flinches when his phone makes the small ping sound that means he has an alert. The new kid is the easy target in every school on the planet. He wonders what it’ll be this time: another Facebook post where the semi-anonymous account Toby IsALoser tags him in another meme about how he has to pay people for sex because the sight of his body would make any normal girl run away screaming, another unnamed Instagram ping telling him he should kill himself so that no one has to look at his stupid fat face anymore, another Snapchat image of a puddle of vomit with the caption “me when I think of you,” an email with the most disgusting gif anyone could find after a quick search…
It’s not, though. It’s an invite to join a private Facebook group, called The Sharing, with several hundred local members. Most of the names Tobias recognizes are cool older kids from the high school. Intrigued, willing to trust for the moment that this isn’t some ridiculously elaborate prank, Tobias clicks “join.”
41. Jake looks around at the enormous open field, concrete pitted with openings and low hovels of corrugated steel and rebar. He can see for nearly half a mile in every direction before the smog makes it impossible, and the tallest things around are the hunched hork-bajir. “Where are we?” he asks.
Cassie frowns. “This? Jake, this is downtown Manhattan.”
He gapes at her. “What happened to it?”
“Tall buildings are targets for drone strikes,” she says casually, turning away. “The only way to be safe was to go underground.”
42. Marco doesn’t bother going to the house of the guy who photographed them, nor does he try to catch the kid before he uploads the video anywhere. Instead he waits for the image to appear on YouTube, then becomes the first commenter. “Sweet manip!” he says. “Is that Photoshop, or can you do that in free programs like Gimp?”
43. “EarthIsOurs-dot-tumblr-dot-com?” Marco says incredulously. “What does Taylor do there, post pictures of her pet taxxon? Reblog plans for planetary domination?”
«Judging from her archive history, she’s had this blog for many years,» Ax says. «She recently changed the domain name, but some of the content on here is from as early as 2008.»
Jake and Marco get caught up in debating with Cassie about what exactly to send to her, but Tobias just scrolls quietly through Taylor’s old posts. She didn’t lie about being beautiful, he realizes, or about being popular. There’s a long blank period in her tumblr account in mid-2014. And then she posted one selfie—just one—after the fire.
He can’t bring himself to read the names that the trolls call her, or the discussions about how much money they’d have to be paid to have sex with her. But there’s no overlooking the suggestions that she kill herself. The posts are too numerous, too vitriolic.
“Every chick ever to wander onto the internet has gotten that crap,” Rachel says; clearly she’s been reading over his shoulder. “She should’ve developed thick skin, not joined the Sharing.”
Tobias thinks of the Facebook page made at his old school just to discuss the fact that he’s a chubby zit-face, of the posts which eventually overwhelmed his Instagram with death threats. «Yeah, I guess,» he says.
44. It takes a long time for Cassie to get home from Australia, but at least they’re not too worried for most of that time; she texts them her location and a brief description of the insanity that landed her in the Outback as soon as she gets in contact with Yami’s family.
45. “None of this makes any sense,” Peter says. “I’m hallucinating, or you’re delusional, or else—”
Marco sets his phone in Peter’s lap. “Check the timestamp, Dad. I took that six months ago.”
Peter stares at the phone for a long minute, and then slowly looks up at Marco. At a clear loss for words, he tilts his head back toward the screen.
“I know.” Marco laughs, the sound wet with tears. “That blond wig looks terrible on her. But it’s really her, Dad. I swear.”
46. “So they’re going to get the U.S. embroiled in another war,” Marco says. “And this one with a country that can actually fight back.”
«Seems like,» Tobias says. «Only why bother with all the secrecy and political wrangling? Why not just send a couple mean tweets to Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un? That’d probably do the job just as well.»
“No, it wouldn’t.” Jake runs a hand through his hair, looking around at them all. “The yeerks need a total war. Everything the U.S. and its allies can pull out, against everything China and its allies can muster. Our military has gotten too used to sending drones to fight its wars, to ‘tactical strikes’ against insurgents. If the yeerks want half the species annihilated, they have to do a lot more than poke a couple of egos.”
47. “News flash,” Marco says. “Your average suburbanite ain’t gonna accept a seven-foot-tall alien for a neighbor. You know the number of times my mom’s been asked for proof of citizenship before she was allowed to vote or cash a paycheck or buy a car? How many times she’s been pulled over by cops while driving the speed limit with her seatbelt on? And she’s a regular old human being. Toby’s right—the hork-bajir have a whole other fight coming if we ever win the war.”
48. Rachel feels the blood drain from her face when she opens the Facebook message and sees the name attached. David’s Facebook account has been defunct for almost two years now; there’s no one left who would want or even be able to access it from the outside. Should be no one.
Miss me? the message from David’s account says.
Who are you? she types with shaking fingers. What do you want?
I know what you did. I’m coming for you. I’ve got friends all over the place and they’ll find you. They’ll kill you. Amazing the allies you can get, when you know where the bodies are kept. On the internet, no one knows you’re a—
Rachel hits “block.” She tells herself that the screaming nightmares she has all that night and into the next are the product of having a stressful life, she’s an Animorph for pete’s sake.
She doesn’t stop shuddering every time she gets a message for the next two weeks, but she never hears from whoever (It wasn’t David. It couldn’t have been.) it was ever again.
49. They stagger away from yet another hopeless fight, all of them injured, half of them missing limbs or bleeding to death. Dragging their damaged bodies behind the first dumpster they find, they demorph, remorph, and force their minds to focus long enough for the long flight home. It’s only when Rachel is in owl morph, staring around the dimly lit alleyway, that she sees the security camera pointed directly at their location.
«They must not check it that often,» Marco says without much hope. «Or else they’d be out here already to come looking for us.»
«Doesn’t matter,» Tobias says harshly. «It had a perfectly clear view of all your human faces. And that building is owned by the yeerks.»
They all stare at each other in dull shock as the realization sinks in. They always knew this moment was coming—they could only be so careful for so long—and yet, on some level each of them hoped it never would.
«Take one more night to be with your families,» Jake says at last. «We evacuate everyone in the morning.»
Jake loses his phone, again, somewhere amidst all the chaos. This time around he doesn’t bother to replace it. It’s not like his mom is going to be wondering where he is, not anymore.
50. “So,” Jake says, “this is going to sound crazy, but—”
“Aliens are invading the planet, and you’re the only kid terrorist who can stop them?” James suggests. “We do have wifi up here, you know. You’re Jake Berenson, right? You’re all over the conspiracy theorists’ forums right now.”
“Um.” Jake runs a hand through his hair, starts again. “Yeah, pretty much.”
James nods. “In that case, you’ve got thirty seconds to convince me your story’s not a load of crap before I call security.”
51. Ax secures their wifi in something a billion times better-hidden than Tor. With that reassurance, they all end up starting blogs.
Marco’s is a rambling string of wry comments about everything from the invasion to his parents’ science projects. Sample post: “Insider source (aka my mom): Visser Three has morphed human and eaten AN ENTIRE BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS in one sitting, ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. Pass it on!”
Jake’s is the place that people go to find out how they can help, and to get his reassurance that the help means something. Sample post: “As Barack Obama says, ‘We the people recognize that we have responsibilities as well as rights; that our destinies are bound together; that a freedom without a commitment to others is unworthy of our founding ideals, and those who died in their defense.’ This fight will never be over just as long as we keep supporting each other. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you all for the KickStarter donations.”
Rachel’s has beauty tips for the American girl on the run, light and self-deprecating enough that you often don’t notice the undercurrent of desperation. Sample post: “If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror, try fixing your hair using reflective surfaces such as pots, ponds, or pieces of Bug fighter wreckage. Alternately, just say ‘fuck it’ and never look at yourself again.”
Cassie’s tells people how to stay safe, and how to keep their environments safe as well. Sample post: “Everyone please remember, it’s important to stock enough food and water for family pets as well as humans when retreating to an apocalypse bunker!”
Tobias’s has a lot of good-natured grumbling about everyday life in the valley. Sample post: “In other news, my girlfriend’s mom is currently arguing with the smartest being on the face of the planet about where to put the new latrine facilities. Sorry Naomi, but my money’s on Toby.”
Ax’s has a lot of food reviews, of course, but again there’s that undercurrent of desperation, almost like he’s trying to convince someone else (or maybe even himself) that humans are worth saving. Sample post: “Marco assures me that there are no less than 23 distinct flavors contained within every sip of Dr. Pepper. Just think of the years of experimentation and innovation it must have required to produce a drink which can inspire 23 different reactions from human taste buds, all at the same time. Truly inspired genius.”
52. They run drills upon drills for what to do in case of a drone strike. Using any morphs they have that can dig or build—mole, taxxon, elephant, beaver—the Animorphs create an extensive network of tunnels and shelters, posting guards at all times to keep their eyes on the sky. The hork-bajir valley doesn’t show up on satellite imagery, which they only know thanks to Peter’s definitely-illegal fact-gathering missions on the darkweb, but they don’t know for sure whether an overhead camera would be subject to the same strange perceptual distortions they all experience when flying there as birds. They nearly lose their precious secrecy when Naomi sends several emails from her work account, claiming she’s being held hostage and asking anyone who will listen to come rescue her. Eva generates a hasty follow-up from the same account asking people to ignore “the prank that I now realize was in poor taste,” but none of them are sure it worked for the next several days.
53. Rachel makes one last post on her nearly-extinct Instagram account. This time the scrap of paper she uses appears to be torn from the back of a food label, but the penciled script is as intricate as ever. It reads “Who wants to live forever? —Freddie Mercury, 1986”
54. After it’s all over, Tobias retreats, he hides, but he keeps a thread of communication open. Cassie shoots him an email with the subject line “Hawk patient with intermittent aggression and lethargy—any idea what could be causing it?” Marco sends him idiotic memes that now feature the Animorphs’ names and faces. Ax asks for constant updates on the new wing of Taco Bell being built downtown, and repays the favor by leaking confidential information about the search for the Blade ship.
And then he gets one of the stranger emails he’s ever received. It’s an offer of a full legacy scholarship to Harvard University (which has just found the means to explain some inconsistencies in the records of one “Alan Fangor,” who graduated in the ‘80s) in exchange for Tobias teaching one class per semester on any subject of his choice. He agrees, with the stipulation that all his classes be online.
The resultant course (Ornithology 442: An Insider’s Perspective) is like nothing the students who participate have ever seen before. Tobias will write out rambling treatises on Why Blue Jays Suck or All the Ways Hawks Are Superior to Eagles with a thought-speak-to-text recorder. He’ll deliver online lectures from a shaky webcam pointed into a nonspecific tree, occasionally wandering off for hours at a time to go hunting. Students who ask him personal questions about Rachel get regurgitated mouse skeletons Fed-Exed to their campus mailboxes. Essays that don’t demonstrate much effort get feedback such as “even I can tell this sucks and I have a seventh-grade education” or “my grandmother could make better sentences than this AND SHE’S AN ANDALITE WHO DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH.” Assignments include “find one bird fact in a textbook and explain why it’s a load of crap” or “go film a Boston pigeon until it does something interesting, I dare you.”
Nevertheless, enrollment is so popular that Harvard has a three-year waiting list and charges students an extra $500 just to sign up. When Tobias finds out about the extra fee, he promptly video-calls the Intrepid, gives Ax remote access to his computer, and explains why he needs Ax to convert the course illegally to a MOOC. Harvard University fires him for breach of contract; Yale hires him on that very same afternoon.
UM HI. So I'm the one that sent the ask about the magical gf things and I have a confession. I already knew it was from your magical book and was kinda subtly hoping you would talk about it?!?!?! I"M SO SORRY but like I said I'm so invested in this crap and would read the entire frikin thing. ALSO I LOVED THE EXCERPT. And now I'm leaving before I disgrace myself any further.
WAIT NO DON’T LEAVE
SO HERE’S IRONY FOR YOU: you came in and didn’t want to bug me so you asked in like a sideways way, BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO BUG YOU, so I didn’t talk about it. (I’m a mess, I’m sorry, y’all gotta be explicit about this stuff because I have no self-confidence.)
BUT ON THAT NOTE let’s talk about perceptions of sex and romance in Alleirat? Like? I’m into it?
So you know the code of chivalric love, where like the fair and pure maiden is adored from afar by the knight and on the one hand it’s kind of cool but on the other hand it’s predicated on the fair and pure maiden who can’t reciprocate or even really acknowledge what’s going on? I like that first half but the second half bothers me like FUCK so I made a better version.
In Alleirat, sex and romance are considered linked, but not intrinsically so–having casual sexual partners is fine as long as your partner is aware and good with it, and sexual experimentation is considered normal (even expected) between the ages of like 16 and like mid-to-late twenties. (People who are like ‘I am gay/straight and I am EXCLUSIVELY gay/straight and I have never experimented with another gender’ are considered weird and kind of to have missed out? Like, they’re thought of as…having skipped an important life stage? Societies Are Problematic, is my point here.) Monogamy is common, but not mandatory, and conditional monogamy (which I’m about to get into) is pretty normal.
So, the courtly love arrangement, which is called amuniasa. Like, say that you are a woman and you work closely with another woman, and you fall in love with her. And you’re very much in love with her (commitment is Serious Business in Alleirat and cheating is considered an actual crime) and you tell her as much. Now she has two options. Either she can take you up on it and you can attempt a relationship, or she can acknowledge the honor you’re doing her with your feelings and declare herself amiasa, or ‘the beloved.’ Then you have the choice to remain committed to her as amdri (the lover). Some basic rules of amuniasa include:
Amuniasa is generally given the same level of importance as marriage, and there are a very short list of reasons that are considered valid to dissolve it.
Amdrin and amiasan are permitted, but not required, to engage in other romantic and sexual relationships. It is common and accepted for someone to have both a spouse and an amdri/amiasa, although it’s not frowned upon if someone devotes themselves wholly to their amiasa.
Brenneth’s right-hand during their previous stint in Alleirat (Krei The Tree Lesbian’s mother Torei) was Brenneth’s amdri, and never took another romantic partner during the remainder of her life. Brenneth and Torei are held up as sort of the Platonic ideal of devotion and amuniasa. (Krei’s coloring also suggests that her father looked like Brenneth, but she never met him.)
The amiasa has a limited period of time to change their mind (often one year), and leading your amdri on with hints that you might one day return their feelings (or with sex) is considered incredibly cruel and dishonorable, and is a valid reason to dissolve the relationship. (Your amdri is functionally off limits for sex for this reason.)
Hassling your amiasa and trying to force them to return your feelings is not permitted and is a valid reason to dissolve the relationship. It can also get you arrested, sent out of the city, or placed under what basically sums up as a restraining order.
It is standard for the amdri to give gifts to their amiasa, or to perform great deeds in their name if they’re in a position to do so (also a thing that Torei is considered the ideal of). Alternatively, an amdri might cook for their amiasa or perform another kind of service, like braiding hair, tending children, etc. This is because Alleirat views service and gift giving as a mandatory core of every romantic relationship (…this extends to orgasms), not because the amdri is viewed as in any way subordinate or servile to their amiasa. The amdri considers it a privilege to perform service and give gifts, and the amiasa recognizes the honor being accorded to them.
It’s actually not common for amdri and amiasa to continue working closely unless it’s necessary, as it’s believed that this is unfair to the amdri. They interact largely socially and on their own terms, to the extent that the amdri is comfortable with–this might be several visits in a week, or the amdri might travel quite a distance. (Torei is considered an outlier, as she took a position as the captain of her amiasa’s guard and proceeded to live, work, and spend all her time with Brenneth for four years. …there are songs about Torei’s devotion and selflessness and disregard for her own pain, is what I’m getting at here.)
It IS common for your amdri or amiasa to know your children, if you have any, and is generally considered their de facto guardian in the event of a disaster.
It is NOT UNHEARD OF for someone to executively decide not to even try to have a relationship and act as an amdri without telling their amiasa. This is generally because they believe they have no chance with the other person and that their attention would make their amiasa uncomfortable, such as a man falling in love with a lesbian, or someone falling in love with someone aromantic. This is considered fine, but it also means that you have no formal claim on the other person.
This can also be because they have a terrible (justified) guilt complex and believe that the other person could never reciprocate as a result of four years of mutual attempted murder. Not that I’m in any way vagueblogging about any of my characters here.
ANYWAY THIS HAS BEEN A PRIMER ON LOVE AND ROMANCE IN ALLEIRAT, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK OTHER QUESTIONS.
if you think you’re “enlightened” or “modern” for mocking religious people for believing in god/gods, the afterlife, reincarnation, prayer, etc., then i hate to break it to you but you’re actually just an asshole
