researching 17th century piracy tonight. came across this:
One popular pastime amongst pirates was the mock trial. Each man played a part be it jailer, lawyer, judge, juror, or hangman. This sham court arrested, tried, convicted, and “carried out” the sentence to the amusement of all. (x)
how widespread could this have really been? how would it have gotten passed from ship to ship? can you imagine a pirate crew at a tavern, bragging to another pirate crew about how good they are at playing pretend? why was their go-to game “legal system”? were they performing incisive satire? is this some sort of pirates-only inside joke that’s been lost to the ages?
update: the mock-charge in the mock-trial was piracy
they used to pretend to try each other for piracy
as a stress relief
ok but it’s got to have been a lot of fun to be the pirate defense lawyer, for the pirate accused of piracy, to attempt to argue to the pirate judge, in front of a jury of pirate peers, that your client could not possibly be a pirate
Okay but I’ve been thinking about the massive backlash over Channing Tatum being cast as Gambit, and just about the Tatum-hate in general, and I’m just gonna say it: I think it’s sexist.
Remember when Channing Tatum first came onto the scene and he was in that Nicholas Sparks movie and then he was in Magic Mike and women were all about the Channing Tatum life? Then you got men saying, “Blegghh Channing Tatum sucks, he’s not a good actor, he’s a dumb jock-type, what about real actors”
I think the main driving force behind that original wave of men saying, “Channing Tatum is stupid, only girls like him because he’s hot, he’s not even a good actor, blah blah blah” was backlash against him because women liked him. It’s the same reason Dirty Dancing is sneered at by film critics and labeled a dumb chick flick, but Saturday Night Fever is classic Serious Cinema.
Channing Tatum isn’t a bad actor, he gave critically acclaimed performances in Foxcatcher and Magic Mike both. He’s not stupid: (That all-female Ghostbusters you’re so psyched about? He’s one of the main producers and backers. He also produced Earth Made of Glass with his wife, which is a major, award-winning documentary about the Rwandan genocide, 21 Jump Street and the sequel, which had massive box office grosses, and Magic Mike was literally based on his life. It was his idea, his story, and he co-wrote). He’s not an idiot by any means at all, and the fact that he has ADD and severe dyslexia make the whole “stupid buff guy” stereotype people associate with him kinda sketchy.
Anyway, after men started lashing out against him because he was popular with women (and Lord forbid something women like be considered quality), then you got women saying, “Well, I just don’t think Channing Tatum is attractive.” or “I don’t like Channing Tatum, I like ~real actors~” and it was all permeated with an underlayer of “…not like those dumb, bimbo other girls.” It’s the same shit as, “I just don’t get along with women, I get along with boys better.” It’s a subtle, maybe even unconscious way of saying, “I think like you, boys, please accept me. I’m better than those girls, please don’t treat me the way you treat them.”
TL;DR: Channing Tatum is a recovering alcoholic and former sex worker with ADD and severe dyslexia who is frequently unfairly lambasted just because he has the audacity to be popular with women.
here’s a gif of him feeding a puppy soup. please examine your life choices.
a) channing tatum seems like a sweetheart and yeah, actually he is a good actor so anyone being bitchy can shove it
vaginal hygiene & health - an introductory crash course
pass this on to spread knowledge whether you have one or not, #save-a-coochie
- the vagina is the tubular ‘internal’ sex organ that some people have. - the ‘vulva’ is the set of external sex organs that people with vaginas have. it includes (but not only):
pubic mound
labia minora and majora (inner/outer ‘lips’)
clitoris and clitoral hood
vulval vestibule (found in between your labia minora)
urethra (where you urinate from)
vaginal opening
-vaginas naturally contain a balance of different bacterias. this bacteria protects the vagina from external bacteria and fungus, provides natural disinfectants and maintains a healthy vaginal pH of 3.5-4.5.
-vaginal pH varies from person to person, day to day, depending on your cycle, your diet and many other external factors,
-all vaginas have a scent. all of them. no two people smell exactly the same, and you shouldn’t expect your vagina (or anyone else’s) to smell fruity or floral.
- if your worried about your scent, you can place perfume or an essential oil to an area around your vulva but not on it. some places like between your thighs or on your lower stomach, for example,
-your body secretes natural fluids called discharge. discharge is how your vagina self cleanses. it is completely normal and vital to healthy vaginal function.
-discharge can vary in amount, color, texture and scent depending on your cycle. each person is different. if your discharge is unusual or abnormal to you and your unique body - visit a doctor if possible.
-abnormal discharge can be green, grey, very yellow, smelly, itchy, chunky, etc.
-abundant discharge can be annoying. you can remove excess discharge in your shower by inserting one clean finger into your vagina, moving it from one side to another and ‘scooping’ the discharge out. repeat as needed. this reduces the amount of discharge found on your panties and in turn, reduces vaginal scent.
- dead skin cells and oil can build up between your clitoris and your clitoral hood, so it’s important to lift your hood up and rinse thoroughly so it doesnt harden.
-washing your “external” vulvar areas such as your public mound and outer lips is okay, though some may find skin here more sensitive.
-don’t douche. you may think it helps but it only masks any problems while causing more. douching throws of your flora, alters your PH and forces bacteria into your cervix.
-water and a soft, clean wash cloth is all you need to clean your vulvar areas that contain a mucous membrane. you do not need to wash these areas. applying soaps or cleaners to these areas removes of natural necessary lubricants and bacteria. this may cause irritation, inflammation, major discomfort and dryness. some amount of moistness should always be present.
-a vast majority of vaginal washes, even those touted as hypoallergenic, still contain dyes and fragrances which are known irritants. read the label.
-while Summer’s eve is a lesser of evils with a PH of 3.0 - 3.5 (still not quite correct), it is still a cleanser. vaginal washes are used to cleanse “bad” bacteria from your vulva. they also wash away the “good” bacteria needed to maintain a healthy balance.
-castile soaps (like Dr. Bronner’s) has a pH of about 8.9. these are not suggested.
-never insert any cleansing agents into your vagina.
-the information above applies to any gels, deodorants, perfumed products and wipes, too. these can all disturb your natural balance.
-while they still pose a possible risk of irritation, unscented baby wipes are the lesser of evils regarding “freshening up”.
-pay attention to your irritants and triggers. different people, different reactions
-everyone has different stances and different methods that work for them. if you aren’t experiencing vaginal discomfort or odd changes, you don’t have to discontinue certain product use. i do, however, recommend a trial period of leaving these products alone due to their effects on your vagina.
-allow your vagina to breathe. keep too-tight clothing to a minimum. cotton panties are the best option next to not wearing any at all. rotate the washcloth and towels you use to clean and dry your vagina.
-urinating after masturbation or sex reduces the amount of bacteria in your urethra wiping ‘front to back’ keeps rectal bacterial away from your vagina.
-naturally, food alters your vagina. balancing your diet in general and including things like pineapples, strawberries, yogurt, soy (the list goes on!) can influence your pH.
-beverages like water, cranberry juice and pineapple juice are also proven to improve vaginal health, and may even improve taste.
-adding a probiotic supplement can increase the amount of “good” bacteria called lactobacillus-your vagina.
-the less ideal your vaginal balance/pH is, the more vulnerable you are to infections and STDs.
-when it comes to internet home remedies, your mileage my vary. try everything with caution and research thoroughly.
cheers! your vagina will thank you.
Please don’t be an immature 12 year old and be like “ew that’s about a vagina I’m not reblogging that that’s gross!” It is literally a body part It needs to be kept healthy People with vaginas need to understand how to keep them healthy Just reblog
But she hasn’t told anyone and doesn’t plan to yet.
The only person that she has told is her editor, and said that her editor felt like vomiting afterwards.
All she will say is that a certain spell is involved, and then a horrific act is performed.
i want to know what it is so badly
Okay, let’s think about this for a second.
We know that making Horcruxes involves murder. It’s essential. So the “certain spell” is probably Avada Kedavra….with some extra words added to it to use the energy created by the death to split the soul.
What intrigues me is the “horrific act” aspect and the fact that the editor wanted to vomit after hearing it. So what could that be? It can’t just be the act of murder itself, which, as horrifying as that is, is exactly vomit inducing in the grand scheme of things.
So if we take the murder itself out of the equation, what other activity could be considered horrific enough to make someone want to ralph? Well, my warped mind can think of at least two.
1) Necrophilia. Now I don’t actually think this is the answer, but it’s gross enough to make anyone vomit on the spot, so I’m throwing it out there. I just don’t think that’s it at all. My personal theory is…
2) Cannibalism. There are a lot of cultures that believe that to eat the flesh of one’s enemies is take your enemies’ power into yourself. Most specifically the heart, though really any flesh or organs would do. So does Voldemort eat the dead as his “horrific act”? I think this one is the most likely and is grotesque and taboo enough that it turns the stomach.
Also, consider this fact: HIS FOLLOWERS ARE CALLED DEATH EATERS. Hmmm. Weird, right?
There’s an obvious problem in these theories though. If either these acts is essential to creating the Horcrux, HOW DID VOLDEMORT ACCIDENTALLY CREATE A HORCRUX WHEN HE TRIED TO KILL HARRY AS A BABY AND NOT KNOW IT? Voldemort didn’t have time to cannibalize Lily. And he certainly didn’t sexually assault her corpse, thank GOD. So how did he turned Harry into a Horcrux that night in Godric’s Hollow?
Consider this: nowhere in the text does it say that Voldemort’s physical body was found in the wreckage of the Potter’s house. Perhaps when the spell rebounded on him….he…ate himself. Not physically chewed himself up and swallowed, but more in a magical way. Think of it like the house being sucked into the Other Side at the end of Poltergeist.
His spirit was so corrupted that it devoured his physical body when the Killing Curse was turned back on him. That would be the cannibalistic act needed to create the Horcrux. And perhaps Voldemort wouldn’t realize that it was a cannibalistic act? He probably wouldn’t even think to consider the fact that his rotten, fractured soul ate his body.
the most important thing to me ever is bi kids knowing that it’s ok to be 10% attracted to women and 90% attracted to men or 10% attracted to men and 90% attracted to women and still feeling ok to identify as bi, and still feeling like their identity is valid, and still feeling like they can lead fulfilling lives with both (or other) genders. like that’s just so fricking important.
I’m a bi adult and you know what? I needed this. Thank you.
it’s also important to remember that it can be a fluid % like sometimes it’ll be 50/50 some times 10/90 and then drift into a 45/65 or even 2/98 and it’s still okay. It’s just where you are at that time in your life.
reasons i disagree with natasha being on team tony:
her speech at the end of catws in which she says “you’re not going to put any of us in a prison. you know why? because you need us” doesn’t sound like she’s all for superhero accountability
she’s aware of hydra’s presence (possibly in the government) and how that could put registered people at risk
she’s shown little or no trust to the people on team iron man (as opposed to the level of trust she has with clint/steve); trust is a common theme in natasha’s characterization and is an important part of her relationships
not a reason i disagree with natasha being on team tony:
why do people think that the weasley brothers would corner harry and threaten him if he doesn’t take care of ginny?
i like to think they all had a prayer circle for the poor boy because ginny had her fair share of putting her brothers in their place when they piss her off.
fandom be like: “take care of our sister harry! or we will kill you!111!”
im sorry but it’s most likely this:
“she’s small but she’s powerful, here’s hoping you don’t get another scar.”
‘Cause let’s be real, here. Despite what tumblr will tell you, it’s okay to not be attracted to fat people (or skinny people or anything in between). What gets your motor running isn’t really something you have complete control over. What you DO have complete control over is how you treat people you don’t find attractive. You always have the option to not be an asshole.
not finding someone attractive because of their weight (or lack of it) is having a type.
Treating someone badly because of their weight (or lack of it) is shallow and hurtful. You don’t have to be sexually attracted to someone to be nice to them.
You don’t have to be sexually attracted to someone to be nice to them.
Every time donald trump comes up in conversation I make damn sure to mention that he’s a violent rapist. I don’t want anyone forgetting that.
IS HE not surprising but I’d never heard that before ??
TW for rape, violent assault:
“After a painful scalp reduction surgery to remove a bald spot, Donald
Trump confronted his then-wife, who had previously used the same
plastic surgeon.
“Your fucking doctor has ruined me!” Trump cried.
What followed was a “violent assault,” according to Lost Tycoon.
Donald held back Ivana’s arms and began to pull out fistfuls of hair
from her scalp, as if to mirror the pain he felt from his own operation.
He tore off her clothes and unzipped his pants.
“Then he jams his penis inside her for the first time in more than
sixteen months. Ivana is terrified… It is a violent assault,” Hurt
writes. “According to versions she repeats to some of her closest
confidantes, ‘he raped me.’”
Following the incident, Ivana ran upstairs, hid behind a locked door,
and remained there “crying for the rest of night.” When she returned to
the master bedroom in the morning, he was there.
“As
she looks in horror at the ripped-out hair scattered all over the bed,
he glares at her and asks with menacing casualness: ‘Does it hurt?’”
Trumps lawyer on the incident: “You’re talking about the front-runner for the GOP, presidential
candidate, as well as a private individual who never raped anybody. And,
of course, understand that by the very definition, you can’t rape your
spouse.”
So basically not only did he violently rape her, it was dismissed with the claim that it is impossible for someone to rape their spouse, which we all know is bullshit.
This is horrible thank you for taking the time to find that for me. I am disgusted
He is a terrible human being, racist piece of shit, rapist, and still an overwhelming amount of people want him to be president. Frankly, it’s terrifying. I will move country if he becomes president.
Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity.
Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.
I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips
So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head
Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.
Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.
Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus
I AM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS POST. MAY YOU ALL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR RENT AND UTILITIES AND DINNER OUT AT YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT.
Have you ever thought about how Harry wasted a huge opportunity when he dropped the Resurrection Stone in the Forbidden Forest?
Okay just imagine if he had kept it.
He dies, comes back, defeats Voldemort…
Only now there are over one-hundred people who have died in just The Battle of Hogwarts alone. Not to mention all of those names that were read on the radio throughout the year. (And everyone else who died before then.)
So the Golden Trio gets this idea…
They quickly spread the word and pretty soon, Harry sets up a room in Hogwarts with nothing in it but a desk and a chair. He sits in the chair behind the desk and calls people into the room one at a time.
Harry insists that the Weasleys be the first to enter. And so George walks in, puffy-eyed but smiling, and asks Harry what the big secret is.
Harry then plops an ordinary pebble into George’s hand.
George is very confused until he hears his name being whispered from behind him. George turns and of course there’s Fred. And the two twins are able to properly say goodbye to one another.
Harry then allows the entire Weasley family to come in and they all huddle around Fred’s spirit and are able to say goodbye. And of course Mrs. Weasley drags Harry out from behind the desk and he joins the family hug.
Are you crying yet?
Because I am.
But let’s keep going.
Mrs. Weasley’s hand brushes against the stone and Fabian and Gideon appear to say goodbye to their sister.
After the Weasleys finally leave, Harry brings Dennis in so that he can say goodbye to Colin.
Harry then individually brings in the family member(s) of the unnamed one-hundred students who died during the Battle of Hogwarts.
Harry then brings in Luna so that she can say goodbye to her mother.
He brings in pretty much all of Hogwarts so that they can say goodbye to Cedric.
He brings in Aberforth so that he can say goodbye to Albus and Ariana.
He brings in those who want to say goodbye to Snape.
He brings in Kreacher so that he can say goodbye to Regulus.
He brings in the rest of the house-elves so that they can say goodbye to Dobby.
And when Harry is done letting everyone else say goodbye to their loved ones, he closes his hand around the stone.
The first one to appear is a beautiful white owl who flies over to Harry and allows herself to be affectionately petted.
Then of course the others appear, just as they did in the Forbidden Forest on that fateful night. Harry doesn’t talk to them for too long, he’s grown up a lot since the Mirror of Erised, but he is able to make peace with his loved ones’ sacrifices.
And even then, he still keeps the stone.
He doesn’t use it again. Not personally, anyway. In fact, he stores it in a dusty box on the mantel in his house. He doesn’t use it. But he doesn’t forget it, either. Because he needs it for one last task.
And when the boy with the turquoise hair is old enough to understand, Harry gently sits him down and places a stone in his hand.
you commented on a post about medicine and being an EMT and you also had fandom stuff. Hi
Ah, yes. That one. I recall that post, I actually got anon hate on that post, I felt like I had Arrived. Greetings, fellow medical Earthling, I am awkward as shit, welcome.
I mean, like, welcome to the party (for…a given value thereof, I guess), I’m Moran, your friendly neighborhood paranoid person. *waves* Imaginary party hats are on the left, imaginary top hats are on the right if that’s more your thing. Help yourselves.
But like all humor aside, I’m kind of dying to know why you’re all here?
shoutout to everyone who’s still following me through my many changes of fandoms and don’t get pissed off whenever I flood your dash with things you don’t even like. thank you.
A story for all you Jurassic Park loving peeps out there. I learned about
this in my Disaster Response and Emergency Preparedness course that I
just started. In 1992, Jurassic Park was finishing filming on the
island of Kaua'i in Hawai'i. The final day was scheduled for September
11. However, brewing out in the Pacific and headed straight for Hawai'i
was Category 4 Hurricane Iniki. The crew had been keeping an eye on it,
but it was expected that Iniki would turn its course slightly. The
afternoon of September 10, however they were informed that it was going
to make landfall in a few hours, impacting Kaua'i with the main brunt of
it. The crew of hundreds was ordered into the basement of the hotel
they were staying in, and they waited it out that night. (Rather
hilariously, Richard Attenborough slept through the whole ordeal where
others were awake, huddled together and fearing for their lives. When
Spielberg asked him about it, he answered, “My dear boy, I survived the
blitz!” I guess after that, a little hurricane is just pleasant white
noise.) The next day, after the storm had passed, the whole island
was in shambles. Infrastructure was totally destroyed, electricity was
entirely knocked out, and radio service was down. The crew had escaped
harm, luckily, though the sets were totally destroyed. That’s actually
why we don’t see any of Ray Arnold’s journey to the power shed, because
that set was ruined during the storm. Anyway, I digress. The crew
comes out of their basement shelter to find total devastation and a city
in disarray. Even though help would be arriving soon, since the
National Weather Service had been monitoring the storm and knew the
island was hit, there would be no way for the relief efforts to begin
with the infrastructure so heavily damaged. Airstrips and landing pads
had also been demolished in the storm, and hospitals were without power.
There was also no (rather, just severely limited) way to move the
debris that was keeping citizens from aid. EXCEPT a gigantic, highly
skilled and intelligent film crew with lots of industrial equipment and
literally nothing better to do. Within hours of the storm’s
passing, the film crew personnel had dug out their bulldozers and
cranes, jury rigged up whatever else they needed from the animatronics,
and began blazing a path through the wreckage to the air strip where
they cleared the whole landing site, then began working on major city
streets. They also used their set generators to help restore power to
critical city functions, and their satellite phones to call for extra
assistance from the mainland (after they had evacuated their cast, of
course). Even though the ships and helicopters arrived to take the
crew home that day, as planned, many (if not most) of the crew stayed on
Kaua'i to assist in cleanup and relief efforts. It’s estimated by
Emergency Management officials and experts that if the crew had not been
there, the recovery efforts would have been delayed by as much as 3
weeks, as little as 3 days, and several hundred people would have died
in the aftermath of Hurricane Iniki.
Hollywood gets a bad rep for being selfish, but they can save lives and I think that’s really cool.
idk how people can legitimately defend snape as a person like during harry’s first ever potions lesson snape singled him out multiple times, asking him all these questions about potions he’d never brewed or ingredients he hadn’t even heard of before, and he knew harry wouldn’t know all the answers, how could he? it would have been one thing if snape was genuinely asking the class what they knew already but he targeted harry and only harry, and when harry told him several times he didn’t know the answer, snape fucking mocked him for it. a grown ass man was trying to humiliate a first year in front of everyone on his very first day in his class, sneering and tutting and even blaming harry for neville’s incorrectly brewed potion, and when harry finally stood up for himself he was docked a point for giving “cheek” and the entire time harry is so confused, wondering why snape has it out for him so badly, and little does he know it’s hardly even about himself as a person, but his parents. like what sort of adult stoops to that level, not even taking into account that he is a teacher and that he’s supposed to stay professional, but just in general. how can anyone justify that. i don’t get it
It’s not really children, per se. Granted, I’m not fond of them being around, I don’t want one in my house or very often in my immediate presence, and I especially don’t like it if I have to watch one that can’t even talk coherently let alone understand what I’m saying, but all this is because I have no patience and no strong maternal instincts to speak of.
If I’m out in public somewhere and a child looks at me, I will smile at it. If I see a video or gif of a child doing something adorable, I might coo and share it. I don’t actively go out of my way to upset children or even discuss them with most people.
But I hate with all my being the culture that surrounds the concept of children.
There’s an overwhelming societal expectation of a beuterused person that they must not only have children (usually multiple), but that they must desperately want children, often to the exclusion of all else. It’s tied very much into the notion that everyone is supposed to get married and promptly produce offspring and put themselves neatly into heteronormative traditional gender roles so as to be a good adult and a “productive member of society.” Indeed, the mere presence of breasts and a presumed uterus is indicative that a person’s worth is whether or not they reproduce.
And it’s this idea that infests every conversation about health or future or family. It’s this concept that makes those of us who do not want children (especially biologically) have to constantly brace ourselves for potential arguments when we talk about any of these things.
It’s the reason I had to switch doctors when my first one kept insisting that “the ideal” was for me to “remain a virgin until marriage and then marry a virgin before having children.” It’s the reason people with vaginas require checkups for “reproductive health” to make sure everything is “functioning correctly for reproduction” instead of just to make sure things don’t hurt/aren’t infected/need attention. It’s the reason we see language used like “baby-making” for het sex with no stated reproductive intent, why the term “biological clock” is still exclusively used in regards to reproduction, and why there is an over-emphasis on pregnancy and reproduction language in sex (“baby goo,” “baby batter,” “gonna make a baby in you,” etc.). It’s why there’s still so much debate over who gets a say in pregnancy, why pregnancy is still terrifyingly often referred to as a punishment or as a means to control the beuterused. It’s the reason why family, friends, and even strangers feel completely within their rights to ask you about your reproductive plans, to make you justify all of your life choices to them at a moment’s notice, to question your thoughts and beliefs as if they know you better than you do yourself.
It’s the reason why the questions are so intensive when someone asks for lasting birth control. It’s the reasons why we are told over and over the rate of regret, the success stories of people who changed their minds, the horror stories of those who didn’t. It’s the reason why, when you state that you have a “phobia of pregnancy” in the hope that it will make people stop asking you without making you explain yourself or justify your feelings for the umpteenth time, the only advice you get is, “Well, that needs to be fixed before anything else.”
It’s the reason why “because I don’t want children” isn’t enough. It’s the reason why adoption is never seen as an option because “you’ll want some of your own someday.” It’s the reason why people put such value on “extending the family line” and “continuing the family name.”
It’s the reason I have to say I hate children for people to stop questioning me. It’s the reason I have to monitor my conversations with certain people because they’ll say, “Ah, see, you DO like kids!!” It’s the reason parts of my dysphoria kick in hard when I see the sort of things mentioned above. Because, unless something happens to remove or damage a uterus, it is not only expected, but demanded of you to know why you’re refusing “the most precious gift on Earth,” “your womanly duty,” “the greatest love you’ll ever know,” and so forth.
It’s the reason why “I hate children” is rolled off my tongue more and more until finally people just stop talking.
But I don’t hate children.
I hate the culture of children.
I hate the misogyny that surrounds pregnancy.
Most of all, I hate the people who perpetuate this culture, who deny someone else the right to say they don’t want to be part of it, who threaten to make them part of it.
But, you know, it’s so much easier to just say I hate children.
There is a sentence in this that I felt a burning need to address. It’s “Because, unless something happens to remove or damage a uterus, it is not only expected, but demanded of you to know why you’re refusing “the most precious gift on Earth,” “your womanly duty,” “the greatest love you’ll ever know,” and so forth.” Having a damaged uterus does not make you immune.
I’m not going to go into detail, but certain things happened to me as a child and as a result, my entire uterus is a ball of scar tissue. It only works well enough to make me an invalid for a week every month or so. It will never be a productive uterus, and I have absolutely zero problem with this. It means I no longer need to justify my lack of offspring to people like my mother. However, when it was discovered in my late 20s that I was unable to have kids, I requested a hysterectomy because menstruating is such a painful experience for me. I was actually happy about it, it was the magic excuse that would get everyone off my back about biological clocks and crap. I shit you not, the following is the actual conversation I had with the surgeon.
“So, since none of it works or will ever work, can you take it all out? It would be nice to not have to worry about any of this again.” “Uhh.. No.” “Why not?” “You’re under 30 and don’t have children.” “What does that have to do with anything?” “You might want to have children in the future.” “But even if I did, you just told me I can’t. You JUST said that I can’t even have eggs harvested for a surrogate. Is changing my mind going to magically make it all work?” “No.” “So can you take it all out?” “No. You might want children one day.”
It continued in this fashion for a good 20 minutes before she got angry at me for not wanting to become a mother and left my hospital room.
My uterus is such a mess that it has hospitalized me more than once, it doesn’t work properly at all, and yet I’m not allowed to have it removed because… honestly I’m not even sure how to finish that sentence.
Misogyny doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’ve even had medical professionals who know this story tell me that popping out a sprog would cure my depression. It’s outright idiocy. At this point, for me, whether I want children or not is irrelevant. I physically cannot reproduce, and yet the Culture of Children you talk about is so bad that it forces me to suffer through needless pain that could be easily prevented with a simple, common surgical procedure. Any time I ask for that surgery, I’m met with nonsensical cries of “BUT BABIES”.
Thank you for being vocal about this kind of thing.
And thank you so much for sharing!
This kind of thing fills me with rage, because it just illustrates how our knowledge of ourselves and our own bodies, even when completely backed up by doctors, is still ignored and outright rejected because of this nebulous idea that “Well, you’ll want children one day.” Even when going up against logic and plain fact, the “woman = children” (for the value of women that most medical providers only accept) correlation is so strong they don’t even think of going against it and will actively fight you if you reject it.
GOD, THANK YOU ALL.
I’m eighteen. I am physically healthy, identify as cisgendered female, and I don’t want kids, possibly ever, for a lot of reasons (not least of which is that I literally cannot deal with them unless I’m telling them a fairy tale, like what do you even do with children, no thank you). There are people in my town who joke with my parents, IN FRONT OF ME, about being grandparents. Or who hear me remark on how bad I am with kids and go “oh, well, you’ve clearly got some motherly instincts in there.” (In ‘there?’ In, like, my ovaries, waiting to be dispersed through my body like a brand new hormone? In my breasts? What does this even mean?) And when I call them out on it and say “If and when I ever have children, it’ll be because my partner and I want them, not because you think I should have them, but I genuinely do not want kids,” they pat my shoulders and smile patronizingly and say “that’ll change.”
Here’s the thing. My family? My extended family? Not a fun group of folks. My parents are great, don’t get me wrong, and they did everything they could to protect me. But I hate having people grab me from behind because it reminds me of when my grandfather (dad’s side) used to shake me for touching his figurines, and I hate being pushed against walls because it reminds me of when my grandmother (mom’s side) used to yell at me and make my head bounce off the plaster and poke me so hard she left bruises all over my chest. I’ve picked bad friends all my life because I hear ‘mocking’ and associate it with people who should love me. I can’t always do things I enjoy, like writing fantasy, because all I can hear is the voices of my family telling me that I’m nothing, the throw-away grandchild, the kid who can’t pull her head out of the clouds and deal with reality, the girl who will never be good at anything, who will never be anything, because she’s too arrogant, too stupid, too weak. And all of my logical arguments for not having kids–I’m not good with children, I want a medical career, I’m so broke I probably couldn’t afford it–are NOTHING in the face of the fact that I live in absolute fear that my family runs in my blood, and I am completely unwilling to inflict it on a child. I know it’s not logical, but if I was ever to have children, it would be after many years of therapy, and maybe not even then. And hearing people tell me “Well, you’ll want kids someday” makes me want to scream at them about how my blood is fucking poison and I would never, NEVER give it to a child. I don’t trust myself enough now (again, I’m fucking eighteen, why the fuck are you asking me about children before I’m legal to fucking drink) and I might not ever, and that’s allowed.
So yeah. Thank you so much for agreeing that this is a permissible thing. This post made me feel better about myself.
What a great stream of posts. I agree, I agree wholeheartedly. And – shocker –I’m not only female, I’m over 40 and I’m a mother fucking mom. What’s great about the phrase “culture of children” is that it evokes a sense of all that is valued and discarded in one phrase: females have value in society when they reproduce, but are discarded when behavior is outside the norm. Like choosing not to have children or choosing to have one child -and only one child.
I am the proud parent on one child, ONE child, and she’s the most beautiful, talented, gorgeous person I know. And for nearly two decades, I encountered a silent (and sometimes not so silent) judgment that I had chosen to have only one child. The silent judgement most often accompanied by the phrase “well, you’re young,” while the not so silent judgment carried the phrases like “only children are spoiled”, “how could you deny your child siblings?”, or “a siblings’ love is unlike any other and you’re being selfish.” Finally, I got so sick and tired of that bullshit (because that’s exactly what it was) and started answering the questions “how many kids do you have” and “do you have children” with “I have a daughter, she’s my oldest, middle and youngest.” And to several of the people who had the audacity to actually suggest only children were selfish, I’d point out “huh, then how come my kid is the only one in that group sharing toys, saying please and thank you while your kids are hitting other children and hogging the swings? Have an answer for that?”
And, yes, people assumed they had the right to ask me these questions and pass their judgments on me because - you got it - I am female. I never remember a time when my spouse was asked “aren’t you going to have more kids? You’ll want to give your kid a sibling.” And, yeah, my kid may be the best thing that’s happened to me but who the fuck am I to presume that just because having a kid was good for me it would be good for anyone else?
So, when I hear young women say “I’m never having kids,” I remind myself to keep my damn trap shut. It’s their body. They want to dye their hair blue? cool. They want tattoos? Cool. They want to not have kids? Cool. It’s their body, their lives. If someone else has a different thought, just shut the fuck up and nod.
I highly recommend a reread because Harry is freaking hilarious. I mean, not always obviously, but he certainly has his moments. He has a very dry sort of humor and I just love that. Also, I trimmed it down, but sorry if it’s a bit long:
“They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “What to come upstairs and practice?” “No thanks,” said Harry, “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it – it might be sick.”
The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water. “What’s this?” he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question. “Your new school uniform,” she said. Harry looked in the bowl again. “Oh,” he said, “I didn’t realize it had to be so wet.”
At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching towards the dungeon ceiling. “I don’t know,” said Harry quietly. “I think Hermione does, though, why don’t you try her?”
“You don’t use your eyes, any of you, do you?” she snapped. “Didn’t you see what it was standing on?” “The floor?” Harry suggested.
“Professor McGonagall told me about the special circumstances, Potter. And what model is it?” “A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir,” said Harry, fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on Malfoy’s face. “And it’s really thanks to Malfoy here that I’ve got it.”
“I know what day it is,” Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.” “Well done,” said Harry. “So you’ve finally learned the days of the week.”
“Why’re you staring at the hedge?” he said suspiciously. “I’m trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire,” said Harry.
He rolled down the window, the night air whipping his hair, and looked back at the shrinking rooftops of Privet Drive. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley were all hanging, dumbstruck, out of Harry’s window. “See you next summer!” Harry yelled.
“There you are! Where have you been? The most ridiculous rumors – someone said you’d been expelled for crashing a flying car!” “Well we haven’t been expelled,” Harry assured her.
“Oh no, not you,” he moaned. “Doesn’t know what he’s saying,” said Lockhart loudly to the anxious crowd of Gryffindors pressing around them. “Not to worry, Harry, I’m about to fix your am.” “No!” said Harry. “I’ll keep it like this thanks…”
Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. “Just do what I did, Harry!” “What, drop my wand?”
“Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year, Hermione?” asked Harry, while Ron sniggered. Hermione ignored them.
They swilled the dregs around as Professor Trelawney had instructed, then drained the cups and swapped over. “Right,” said Ron as they both opened their books at pages five and six. “What can you see in mine?” “A load of soggy brown stuff,” said Harry.
“That means you’re going to have ‘trials and suffering’ – sorry about that – but there’s a thing that could be the sun. Hang on… that means ‘great happiness’ … so you’re going to suffer but be very happy…”
“When you’ve all finished deciding whether I’m going to die or not!”
“It was your head, Potter. Floating in midair.” There was a long silence. “Maybe he’d better go to Madam Pomfrey,” said Harry. “If he’s seeing things like – “
“Potter! Weasley! Will you pay attention?” … The bell was due to ring any moment, and Harry and Ron, who had been having a sword fight with a couple of Fred and George’s fake wands at the back of the class, looked up, Ron holding a tin parrot and Harry, a rubber haddock.
“I’ll wait for you, Harry, shall I?” “No, it’s okay, Mr. Bagman,” said Harry, suppressing a smile, “I think I can find the castle on my own, thanks.”
“Listening to the news! Again?” “Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry.
“Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ‘Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true…”
“I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -” “They won’t.” “That you’re safe -” “That’ll just depress them.” “- and that you’ll see them next summer.” “Do I have to?”
“You’re Harry Potter,” she added. “I know I am,” said Harry.
“You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.” “Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.”
“We shouldn’t have taken the stupid subject in the first place,” said Harry.“ “Still, at least we can give it up now.” “Yeah,” said Harry. “No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly…”
“You’re dead, Potter.” Harry raised his eyebrows. “Funny,” he said, “you’d think I’d have stopped walking around.”
“I wouldn’t go in the kitchen just now,” she warned him. “There’s a lot of Phlegm around.” “I’ll be careful not to slip in it,” Harry smiled.
“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”
“No,” said Harry. “No, I suppose that’s true. But wasn’t that dishonest, Hermione? I mean, you’re a prefect, aren’t you?” “Oh, be quiet,” she snapped, as he smirked.
“My whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!” “And they’d love to have me,” said Harry sarcastically “We’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”
“She’ll ban you from the library if you’re not careful. Why did you have to bring that stupid book?” “It’s not my fault she’s barking mad, Hermione. Or d'you think she overheard you being rude about Filch? I’ve always thought there was something going on between them…”
“Nice,” he said. “Classy. You should definitely wear it in front of Fred and George.” “If you tell them,” said Ron, shoving the necklace out of sight under his pillow, “I - I - I’ll -” “Stutter at me?” said Harry, grinning. “Come on, would I?”
“Promise me you’ll look after yourself…. Stay out of trouble….” “I always do, Mrs. Weasley,” said Harry. “I like the quiet life, you know me.”
“I told her it’s a Hungarian Horntail,” said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. “Much more macho.” “Thanks,” said Harry, grinning. “And what did you tell her Ron’s got?” “A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where.”
“Six years ter the day since we met, Harry, d'yeh remember it?” “Vaguely,” said Harry, grinning up at him. “Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?”
Thinking about it, the humour in Harry Potter is very, very British, and I’ve heard that a lot of non-Brits don’t get dry/sarcy British humour and often assume we’re being serious (particularly Americans, although obviously not all, and the OP/answerer here uses American spelling).
So does that mean that a lot of non-British readers just think Harry’s really really thick? “I didn’t realise it had to be so wet.” “DUH HARRY IT’LL DRY DUHHHHHH”
Well, I mean, I’m American and from the get-go I was just like “this child…he has sass, I aspire to have this much sass, where can one buy this much sass.” But then again my parents’ parenting technique was, like, ”Let us teach our toddler daughter how to swear vividly and win arguments with other children and present logical arguments and spit dry sarcasm.” So that might have had something to do with it.
guys be like “makeup is why you take a bitch swimming on the first date!!!” but sweetie I got that urban decay setting spray ayeeee
Hourglass mineral veil primer makes any makeup you put on top of it waterproof 💁
WHAT!?!?!? No one told me these things. I been sweating and reapplying make-up in the summers and you folks knew this shit the whole time… THE WHOLE GOTDAMN TIME!?!?
I love this website so much.
Out here saving lives
Cheap alternative to UD Setting Spray is the NYX Matte Finish Spray. I have both and the work the same. And the Porefessional Primer is amazing too
the elf primers are like $6 and work like magic too. they give you a satin finish and the makeup just glides on.
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You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.
read that.
read it again, and again, and again.
somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot.
if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.
if you suspect someone is in an abusive relationship and actually want to help them leave, dont argue with them about it. listen to them, let them talk. when they describe an action you feel is abusive, you can say, as gently as possible, that you would understand if that had upset them. as soon as they get defensive, back off. dont be any more critical of their partner than theyre able to tolerate without shutting off the conversation and writing you off as someone whos safe to talk about their relationship with
there isnt a big moment of clarity for most victims, theres a gradual, growing awareness that the way theyre being treated is wrong, and that they dont deserve to be treated this way. you can help people get there by listening to them and supporting them- something you cant do if they wont talk about their relationship with you anymore, which is what happens when you just keep yelling DUMP HIM
like i realise there’s a good chance i’d die in an alien attack or whatever but i could also write essays about steve rogers for my history class and that is in fact very important
so sometimes i think about harry potter being in the aurors and like
he’d never really thought about child protective services, muggle or otherwise, cause it’d never been relevant, right? like when he was a miserable kid he just thought that was what it was like being an orphan. but then he sees cases come through the department where parents are murdered and there’s kids sitting in their waiting room with copies of the quibbler and water waiting while an auror sits down with a family tree and tries to find whatever relatives this kid might have in the wizarding world, going back maybe even five generations to find anyone living and vaguely related to this child to drop them off with
and he goes to shit apartments in diagon alley after noise complaints and finds children who are black and blue with hexed, bleeding skin who insist they were just playing with a weasley’s wizard wheeze, no really mr. potter
and he thinks about how merope gaunt stumbled into a muggle orphanage and left them a child who would grow up learning fear was the key to harmony, and becoming a god meant safety
and really, how was the headmaster of a school the person who made the call about where he ended up, how was the system so haphazard that a man who wouldn’t be part of his life for another ten years got to make the biggest decision of his life
harry thinks about his cupboard
and then harry potter sits down with hermione and ron and neville (cause of course neville would want a stake in this) and says, “we need to change the wizarding world again.”
