a bald eagle, the symbol of what america stands for, attacks donald trump when he barely even gets near it and a sparrow, a bird used as representation for hope/peace/etc. throughout all types of artforms, lands on bernie sanders’ podium and stays for nearly half a minute
this is literally character development for the protagonist and antagonist in a children’s fairy tale movie, it’s unbelievable
american politics is a dreamworks movie and bernie does the eyebrows face on the poster
So I’m on AO3 and I see a lot of people who put “I do not own [insert fandom here]” before their story.
Like, I came on this site to read FAN fiction. This is a FAN fiction site. I’m fully aware that you don’t own the fandom or the characters. That’s why it’s called FAN FICTION.
Oh you youngins… How quickly they forget.
Back in the day, before fan fiction was mainstream and even encouraged by creators… This was your “please don’t sue me, I’m poor and just here for a good time” plea.
Cause guess what? That shit used to happen.
yep I did that. Everyone did. It’s honestly quite liberating to not have to put that disclaimer on your story.
I believe some sites, including fanfiction.net, used to actively require it on every story.
….god, one ages fast in fandom.
Yes ff.net REQUIRED it as did LJ in early 2001-2002 and people lost some fantastic stories because of not having a disclaimer. Hell I lost about 83,000 words to not having a disclaimer
People used to have lots of fun with the disclaimers too. I once had too much fun with it… Got my account locked in ff net for having too long a disclaimer XD
Christ, I’ve only been reading fic for about four years and I remember this being a Mandatory Thing. Times change, I guess.
(With my deepest apologies to Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss)
Can I kill my Uncle Claude? Yes, I can, I can, by God! I will kill my Uncle Claude!
Should I kill him in the house? Should I kill him while he’s soused? I could kill him here or there I could kill him anywhere Would I, could I, while he prays? Kill him! Kill him! Wherefore stay? I would not, could not, while he prays!
Not in the house, not when he’s soused, Not with his sister, now his spouse! Not while he prays, not while he feasts, O, incestuous, adulterate beast! I do not like my Uncle Claude, I do not like that bloody bawd!
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would I, could I, in the dark?
Should I kill him in his bed? Should I there strike off his head? Kill him with his nightcap on? Kill him when the churchyards yawn? Should I kill him where he lies? I will kill him, by and by! I do not like my Uncle Claude, I’ll kill him, i’ th’ name of God!
The play! The play! The play’s the thing! The thing wherein I’ll catch the king! No more ‘to be or not to be,’ I will kill him, you will see!
Kill him while he wears his crown Kill him while his guard is down
Kill him with some poisoned wine Kill him with this sword of mine
O, is the point envenomed, too? I’m dead–Horatio, adieu! But tell them, tell them, more or less, Who it was that made this mess!
I did not like my Uncle Claude, I killed him in the name of God! Good friend, report my cause aright– And now, goodnight goodnight goodnight!
i’m sure everyone is already doing this, but here is the star trek series that i had been building in my head for probably 10 years:
the captain is the 1st romulan in star fleet. she’s a really solid captain, and she’s kind of everything you wouldn’t expect from a romulan - she’s personable and close with her crew. most of the time she’s able to keep her romulan temper under control, but she deals with a lot of racism, so sometimes she flips her shit and it is terrifying.
the chief engineer is a changeling, and they’re agender and very happy to be a changeling, thank you. they’re really into experimenting with different forms, and (thanks to improved cgi) they utilize their gelatinous form to get all up in the workings of the ship
the first officer is the token human. he is indian, obsessed with rare alien artworks, and aromantic pansexual. he basically is interested in sleeping with any being with two legs (and some with fewer or more than two legs), but not interested in dating.
chief medical officer is klingon. (KLINGONS HAVE TO HAVE MEDICS, TOO, OKAY.) she is very aggressive in her treatments but is totally a giant softie underneath. she was actually super-talented in battle and won a bunch of prizes growing up, but she has always hated fighting (she tries to keep this under wraps, though, and has a tendency to threaten to chop people’s heads off with bat’leths).
those are all the characters i’ve come up with so far, lemme know if you’ve any ideas
the crew isn’t very well-respected in star fleet, in fact, they were given a not-so-great ship (that the lovely changeling chief engineer has upgraded leik wo), and are usually handed all the mucky jobs, especially ones that tiptoe the line of federation ethics (well, there’s a romulan captain. she’s probably okay with that, right? says star fleet brass, with their heads up their asses). despite inadequate support (and often inadequate supplies), this crew tends to scrape through incredibly difficult situations and generally kick ass in unorthodox ways.
Ferengi helmsman. “Not Quartermaster?” You ask. “No, but I bet you 500 bars of gold pressed latinum I can outfly that trash hauler you call a corvette.” And when he wins, he jettisons the money into a star out of spite.
omg i love it
Perfect headcanon is perfect
SO I SORTA CAN’T STOP THINKING WHAT A GOOD IDEA THIS IS.
(And considering the general Klingon attitude towards medicine is “get better on your own, die or commit hegh’bat”, Chief Medical Officer there probably has a lot more impetus to be the Absolute Best also.)
OMFG I AM DYING THAT IS BEAUTIFUL
A+++++++ CUTIES ALL AROUND
SOMEONE PLEASE CAUSE THIS SHOW TO EXIST. I WILL BE YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!
hoperemains is completely from a Christian perspective, and not pluralistic or interfaith at all.
If you reblogged the first post from me please reblog this amendment so the Jewish peeps can access this resource too!
Trans Jewish kids, you can go to TransTorah as well!
Muslim LGBTQ kids, you can go to iamnotharaam! It’s run by a mod squad of different genders and orientations, and they take submissions from everybody!
they’re the kid who gets stuck holding the door for everyone, but they’re grinning the entire time
brave enough to be the one to order pizza
protective of everyone, it doesn’t matter who they are
loud and powerful
beautiful and radiant as the freaking sun you will remember them
cons:
loud as hell
big on trying to push people far out of their comfort zones
tend to be conceited
you know that kid who lectures everyone about how they should be better people and then just sort of turns around and bullies the class jerk? they’re probably a gryffindor
Honestly the scene at the end of The Homecoming Job where the doctor says “that’s not the way the world works,” and Nate replies “so change the world” fucks me up so bad because that’s it, that’s the show, that’s the premise of the entire damn show
these thieves and criminals changing the world the only way they know how, with the skillsets they have, and sure, maybe they are criminals but they’re doing what they can, how they can to change the world.
Leia can fall asleep any place relatively quiet that isn’t actually moving under her.
She did not—contrary to Han and Luke’s teasing—pick that up during the Rebellion; she learned how to hunker down and drop away from the world when she was Alderaan’s special diplomatic envoy to the Imperial Senate. Long nights spent poring over complicated trade agreements or debating the exact credits necessary for the revitalization of the Hosnian Sector (read: extermination of non-humans.) She learned to steal what sleep she could because they would be back there come morning with the same dry texts, the same dull men; the same compromises made while she carefully didn’t think about her father; somewhere in the galaxy quietly fostering rebellion.
(Something she doesn’t talk about all that often: not all her memories of the Empire are war and blood and running and terror. There was paperwork too; and state dinners and heated discussions about subsidies. Imperial generals carried holos of their children just like everyone else. And she had hated it—she was never built for diplomacy; that was her mother’s skill and the Queen was always apologizing for her, this wayward daughter who wore her disdain and dislike on her sleeve and didn’t know what “compromise” meant—or even her father’s art, no one could look the flower but be the rebellious serpent under it quite like Bail—but Leia remembers all the same.
The Empire was terrible; the Empire was an enemy to be broken and destroyed so the Republic could bloom again. But it was not all terror.)
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
everyone’s always like “dragons in the past/ robots in the future” but consider this
dragons in the future
selective breeding and novelty science of winged lizards goes a little too far and then when they escape they continue evolving
futuristic megacities trying to safeguard themselves against dragons which might come along hoping to find a snack
huge flocks of dragons flying south for the winter
dragonlings rooting through rubbish bins behind restaurants and being shooed away
*slams fists on desk* YOU’RE HIRED
Dragons adapting for different urban environments: sewer dragons, alley dragons, dragons that build their nests atop skyscrapers.
Zoos putting wire mesh over the top of their enclosures to keep dragons from swooping in and stealing their animals - and finding that even that isn’t enough.
The impact of introducing a major new predator into the wild, and how the ecosystem rebalances itself around them (or doesn’t).
They never stop aging - they only get bigger. Geneticists try to make humans immortal by isolating the genes that control the dragons’ growth and implanting them into humans, with disastrous results.
SPACE DRAGONS. IN SPACE. Nobody knows what they eat, how they breathe or how they survive, but they’re a threat to the newly-developed interplanetary passenger shuttles.
Political schisms over the revelation that dragons are sapient.
@littlestartopaz did I have a story I was supposed to be writing you concerning this?
I was initially very confused by @sauropolis-princeps‘s assertion that they were knowledgeable on “everything from aardonyx to zby” as far as dinosaurs were concerned… until I looked it up.
Zby is an extinct genus of turiasaurian sauropod dinosaur known from the Late Jurassic of the Lourinhã Formation in central west Portugal. It contains a single species, Zby atlanticus. It is named after Georges Zbyszewski, who studied the geology and paleontology of Portugal.
I guess someone thought “Zbyszewskisaurus” would be too confusing.
“kids today with their smartphones and sexting and naked pictures are so irresponsible!!!” well in the 1820′s the Emperor of Brazil D. Pedro I sent letters to his lover calling himself “big devil” and “fiery little fire” containing drawings of his own dick and actual pubic hair and now that’s historical document so
when i was working in special collections i had a WWII letter that had a little squiggle and said “turn me upside down!” on the paper so I did that and it was a drawing of a dick ejaculating. #romance
then when I told a co-worker she said I was lucky it didn’t have any “suspicious stains” accompanying the letter which HAS happened on archival (19th century and earlier) letters before.
i mean like at least when you get a sext no one a hundred years later is gonna have to look at your jizz stains as historical evidence. which i am super grateful for.
ngl I want an eventual Ben/Leia reunion for no other reason than to watch 6'3" brick shithouse Adam Driver crumble like a Nature Valley bar all over tiny Carrie Fisher
I work at a small pet store, and we sell two things in abundance: dog food and crickets. As for crickets, we sell them at twenty for $1. Now, the store is almost always busy, so we don’t have time to actually count out twenty crickets. We usually eyeball it, keeping our guesstimations on the generous side. Customers dig it because they usually get a few more crickets than they asked for, and we get to save time and generate a little good will.
One day a customer comes in and asks for one hundred large crickets. Let’s call him Clyde. No problem, I tell him. As I’m gathering the crickets into the bag, I ask him about what he’s feeding them to, and we get to talking about lizards, tarantulas, and other cricket-eaters. Clyde seems alright at this point - I genuinely enjoy talking about animals with the customers.
I hand Clyde the bag of about one hundred crickets, and he takes a long look at it, turning it this way and that. He looks at me and skeptically asks if there’s really a hundred crickets there. “Looks like 70 or 80,” he says. Mind you, everyone at the store is very good at guesstimating how many crickets are in a bag; we all know what 20, 50, and 100 crickets look like, and in all the time I’ve worked there, I’ve never been questioned by a customer.
My immediate emotional response was somewhere between annoyance and wounded pride. So, I did the reasonable, logical thing: I took the bag back, and I told him I’d count every single cricket, ‘cause I’ll be damned if he doesn’t getexactly one hundred crickets.
So, I painstakingly count each cricket by dropping them one by one from the first bag into a new bag. He watches me the whole time, making comments here and there like “unnecessary” and “I’m sure it was a hundred.” But nay, I tell him. “I want to make absolutely sure that you get the crickets you paid for.”
As I count my hundredth cricket, I look at the remainder in the bag. Lo and behold, there are ten crickets leftover. A whole fifty cents! As I hand Clyde the new bag of exactly one hundred crickets and toss the rest back into the bin, I thank him for keeping me and the store honest, and assure him that I’ll count his crickets every time he comes in from now on.
Labels are meant to help you make sense of yourself. They are not for other people to dictate, and they are not set in stone. You are allowed to shed old labels, and to take new ones when it feels appropriate, without shame. You are, have been, and will always be 100% real and 100% valid. You are you, and you are wonderful.
RIP to the 29 people who were killed when a suicide bomber blew himself up in a football stadium in Iskanderiyah, Iraq today. And get well soon to the 60 people wounded by the attack. My thoughts and prayers are with them, their family and their friends.
Just told one of my friends I owed her a favor and her immediate response was “I’ll call you when I need someone murdered” and without thinking I said “Do you want them to suffer or just disappear” so that’s who I am in the friend group
If you see someone in a wheelchair stand up or walk, just keep your mouth shut. They either were prescribed that wheelchair and their insurance agreed they needed it, or they became so desperate for the mobility the chair would provide that they paid a lot of money out of pocket (because they don’t have insurance or they have a shitty ableist doctor or whatever).
It’s estimated that around 85% of full time wheelchair users can stand or walk to some extent. Think of it like glasses: the majority of people who wear them can technically see without them, but they reduce pain, improve the quality of the wearer’s life, and enable millions of people to do things they otherwise couldn’t. A wheelchair is no different. In fact, even part time users legitimately need their chair, just as people who need reading glasses legitimately need their glasses. In addition to paralysis, some reasons for using a wheelchair include pain, fatigue, fragile joints/bones, vertigo, and many, many other debilitating symptoms.
Using a wheelchair is already stressful enough as it is, thanks to iffy accessibility. Please don’t add to a disabled person’s difficulties by calling them a faker.
have finally gotten off work (have one day off, have to work Easter, boooo) and am trying to relax by watching project runway on my dvr
keep getting infuriated by project runway going “baroque = medieval”
me: “baroque is 1600-1750 - you’re not even anywhere NEAR medieval you’re past the Renaissance and straight into the Enlightenment and early modern period and while baroque is a synonym for overwrought and fancy you keep acting like the baroque period is synonymous with the medieval period and just noooooo why what this is terrible your challenge inspiration included straight-up classic jousting and knights and a kingly-type guy”
