I’m taking that creative writing class and I just. Okay. Guys. Explain me a thing. WHY have I read two stories in this past semester about rape? I mean, I guess the one was more about abuse followed by murder (see my rant here), but still, Christ. Honestly I’m going to meet with the teacher about the most recent one, which I’m supposed to critique for Thursday, and just be like, “I fucking cannot do this. I am not objective enough to say shit about this girl’s writing. This is pages upon pages of a girl who witnessed the rape of someone she considered a friend and did nothing, and I have spent way too much time on the wrong side of that equation to be objective here.“ I just. Do not understand why rape is the thing. Like, guys, it’s not like it’s edgy and cool, okay, I promise, people have been hideous to each other since fucking Ur was nothing but a twinkle in the eye of some random ape. They’re not treating it as a very deep trauma and dealing with the fallout and handling it with as much care and compassion as possible, it’s not even fucking productive, it’s just annoying, Christ, fucking STOP.
Also, I honestly don’t care if it makes me a cultural heathen, I don’t like weird abstract writing that’s intended to ‘push the boundaries of what we think of as prose.’ Like, no. It’s not a failing on my part if I want to read fantasy novels with, oh, I don’t know, plot and characters and literally anything other than obsessive navel gazing. The next time I have to read the literary equivalent of that very famous piece of modern art that’s literally just a piece of plywood painted uniformly blue, I am going to scream.
Congratulations on adopting a scientist! Regardless of their field they will require much coffee, free food, and love. Here are some field specific tips for keeping your scientist happy and healthy!
Biology:
make sure they don't get overly invested in their model organism by reminding them about the flaws inherent in their system on a regular basis, but also make sure to join in when they criticize other models in favor of their own
Chemistry:
don't let them do that 'just one more reaction' at 10 pm. make sure they get out of the lab and see the sun on a regular basis. try to keep them from partying too hard when they do leave the lab
Geology:
humor their rock puns but don't let the lick the rocks (they will tell you they need to lick the rocks to identify them, but don't fall for it)
Astronomy:
try not to let them become completely nocturnal. point out nice stars to them and look suitably impressed by their "pictures" of planets that don't look like anything to you
Physics:
take them to the park on a regular basis to remind them that things larger than subatomic particles exist. bring a frisbee or a ball to play catch with and be impressed by their ability to calculate trajectories
Math:
always make sure to have free batteries for their calculators and a mathmatica user guide on hand. Humor them when they tell you why space without angles is important
Ecology:
make sure they remember to wear sunscreen and keep an eye on them in the field. Remind them to come inside and analyze their data occasionally
Psychology:
don't mention Freud or ever call them a soft or social science, but make sure you gently remind them that social factors can impact reproducibility and try to keep them from drawing sweeping conclusions about the inherent nature of humanity
Neuroscience:
be suitably impressed by their newest experiment and then remind them that people are not mice as often as possible
Computer Science:
make sure they take breaks while debugging by limiting their supply of coffee. Nod and smile when they go off on indexing and arrays. Make sure they always have a rubber duck.
Make sure to keep your scientist away from engineers unless they have been properly socialized to interact in a translational household. The most important thing is to remember to hug your scientist on a regular basis and remind them that there is life outside the lab
You are moping on your island of self-imposed exile, and then this girl shows up.
She’s flying your best friend’s ship. The ship that Han thought he lost for ever. The ship that was stolen and passed through so many hands that he was sure he’d never see it again. The same ship that took you away from home for the first time.
She’s accompanied by your personal droid. The droid you left behind and abandoned. The droid that C-3PO was sure would never be the same again.
She holds out her hand and she’s holding your father’s light saber. The sword you were sure was lost forever. The light saber that you dropped down a bottomless air shaft on a gas giant thirty years ago. The light saber you knew you would never see again.
You look up and you see her eyes. Maz Kanata says that if you live long enough, you see the same eyes looking out of different faces. The girl’s face is different, but those eyes are the same. You know those eyes. They’re the eyes you thought you’d never see again.
And that’s when you know it.
You’re screwed.
They say sometimes the Force works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, the Force will send you little signs. Subtle clues.
Other times, the Force will just beat you repeatedly over the head with a gigantic neon sign that says: “You can’t run away from your past anymore, Luke. I won’t let you. Look, here is your past come back to haunt you. Now deal with it.”
You have no idea how much I adore this post with my whole being
I like the idea of the Force sending Luke little signs over the years that it’s time to return to his loved ones, gently increasing in intensity as he ignores them, until it finally gets fed up and shoves the events of Episode 7 into motion, finishing with a flourish of HERE’S YOUR NEW APPRENTICE, SPACE HOBO.
Aided and abetted by the ghost trio, I imagine. Especially since he did not look at all surprised.
Obi-Wan and Yoda sending him dreams and whispers for 15 years, before an exasperated Anakin pushed them aside “Excuse me, but you two are not very good at dealing with Skywalkers and have amply demonstrated that fact over the decades. We don’t do subtle. *appears giant-size over the sky* That’s it, Luke, we’re sending you all the things! So PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, SON!!”
I, your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian absolve you from all literary sins and encourage you to go and read what you like on the platform of your choosing.
Never feel guilty for reading fan fic at 3am. Everything is fanfic in the end. From fanfic you were made, to fanfic you shall return.
Read that which has been panned by literary snobs. Read novels churned out by the dozen by authors with a dozen pseudonyms.
Read your US and People. Flip through Popular Science just for the gadgets section. Read articles about the perfect chocolate chip cookie.
Read books outside your comfort zone. Don’t finish them if you don’t want. It’s the book’s fault, not yours.
Read in your comfort zone. Read a YA and romance and science if and fantasy.
Skip over the boring bits. Read it because you heard about it from Oprah or because everyone else is reading it.
Giggle yourself silly at something so poorly written and full of author wish fulfillment that you just can’t stop reading it.
Don’t listen to the keepers of taste and culture. Their reward comes every time they pat themselves on the back for their superior taste.
Don’t listen to the academics that bemoan the downfall of society and learning. They have been doing that since Socrates’ time.
Don’t listen to the tv presenters who insist you are not cultured if you haven’t read from this list of books.
Audio books count as reading. Ebooks count as reading. Fanfic of questionable quality counts as reading. Rereading books for the third time counts as reading. Reading to your child counts as reading. Reading from the back of the cereal box (and doing the puzzle) counts as reading.
TL;DR: read what you want. Don’t be ashamed. Never let someone try to make you feel bad for how or what you read and enjoy. Tell them that I, your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian have absolved you from your guilt and have given you special blessings. Go forth and read, my child.
Don’t listen to the keepers of taste and culture. Their reward comes every time they pat themselves on the back for their superior taste.
•support dark skinned natives
•support light skinned natives
•support white passing natives
•support natives whose first languages are their tribal languages
•support natives who cannot speak their tribal language
•support native children who have to teach themselves about their tribal culture
•support natives living on reservations
•support native kids who get asked if their parents live on a reservation
•support native kids who are taught to be embarrassed and ashamed of their heritage
•support métis people who might not know their heritage
•support métis people who aren’t native passing
•support native people who stick to traditional hair and dress styles
•support natives who practice their tribal religion
•support natives who follow mainstream fashion
•support natives who are told they’re “too Indian”
•support natives who are told they’re “not Indian enough”
•but above all, listen to what we have to say about our cultures, our histories, our future, our issues and our people.
this is the first post i have EVER seen about native americans, i really appreciate this
so back when i was in college, someone in creative writing class with a friend of mine wrote a story. it started out as a simple story of a wedding, and the bride and groom were arguing over infidelity that may or may not have happened and then some weird dude showed up and said some cryptic shit and left.
and then the guy showed up again, much later, at the reception. naked.
and then he ran to the cake. and began fucking it.
i used to have a printout of the story and i distinctly remember the line “oh my god, he’s fucking the cake!”
the most amazing part is that was written for a grade.
someone wrote this story.
someone wrote this story, where a man puts his dick in a wedding cake and fucks it until he’s had enough, and handed it in for credit. he did not fail the class.
if cake fucker guy can write a story and have faith in it, so can you. believe in yourself.
I like to reblog inspirational writing things. Usually they’re stuff like “you can do it!” and “tips for staying motivated” and character development and worldbuilding.
This… takes the cake, you might say.
if cake fucker guy can write a story and have faith in it, so can you. believe in yourself.
because my brain decided now would be a great time to contemplate the twin litanies of The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock, and how The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one is brave and selfless and good and loving and feels like an implacable truth, the gentle inevitability of duty and death and how achingly perfectly it expresses that marrow-deep star trek promise to always always always do what you can to help, and how Because the needs of the few outweighed the needs of the many could SO EASILY have cheapened that first beautiful thesis statement, only it DOESN’T, it COMPLICATES IT and ANSWERS IT WITHOUT REVISING IT, and if it is selfish it is also self-sacrificing, it says we, the Many, bravely and lovingly offer up our ships/careers/homes/lives souls for the sake of the One, because everyone gets to decide what is worth sacrificing everything for, even when the balance isn’t even or logical, and that is ALSO BRAVE AND GOOD AND LOVING AND AN IMPLACABLE TRUTH AT THE HEART OF THE STORY, AT THE HEART OF THE GENTLE FUTURE THAT DOESN’T PROMISE THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY BUT DOES PROMISE THAT WE WILL ALL TRY OUR BEST, THAT WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF BEING OUR VERY BEST.
Best feeling is when you just naturally click with a person. Talking all day, every day, no forceful conversation, laughs, attention. They are worth their weight in gold, don’t lose them
Have you eaten in the past three hours? If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day? If not, take a shower right now.
If daytime: are you dressed? If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day? If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day? If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days? If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Do you feel ineffective? Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive? Take a goddamn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision? Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days? If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
Have you waited a week? Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
me fall semester:
wakes up at precisely 6am each morning, uses a planner, color codes notes, interacts with peers, has an overall positive outlook for the future
me spring semester:
lying face down on the floor surrounded by overdue assignments, fiber one brownie crumbs stuck to my face, not sure if it's wednesday or sunday, waiting for the sweet release of death
If Aragorn had had a choice in the matter, he would have sent three companions to Mordor with Frodo: himself, Sam, and Gimli.
Rereading LotR for the first time in a couple of years and rediscovering yet again how poorly Gimli was treated by the films. His first ever line in the book is “faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens”. He is continually shown to be loyal, strong, eloquent, and kind. I wish we’d had more of that in the films.
Current annoyance: I keep clicking kudos button on AO3 and then that fucker announces:
I don’t care. Some things just deserve more kudos.
Comments are also effective…
I just thought of something.
A lot of people say they don’t leave comments because they can’t think of anything to say other than “I liked this” and they think it’s dumb or something.
So how about… You leave a comment that says “This is an extra kudos” because you can leave as many comments as you like, but you can only leave a max of two kudos (one logged in, one logged out). You can do this on every chapter if you want! “Extra kudos in comment form!” You get to express your extra love in an introvert-friendly way! :D
This is an amazing idea, and this post needs ten thousand notes.
on jakku giving people food freely (i.e. as a gift with no expectation of return) and saying its a gift is how they propose marriage. Giving different food back is how you accept. Rey in the resistance is SO CONFUSED. Why are you all into polygamy resistance people. Everyone is proposing to me. Im flattered general but really jfc where did this come from. I don't even know you random mechanic #6! Oh.... poe/finn... thank you for the apple. Would you like a space potato?
I’M PRETTY SURE WE ALL KNEW TO EXPECT A READ-MORE FROM ME ON THIS ONE. DID ANYONE NOT EXPECT A READ-MORE FROM ME ON THIS ONE? GOOD ‘CUZ WE’RE IN FOR THE LONG HAUL, KIDS.
NASA scientists have reported that they’ve successfully tested an engine called the electromagnetic propulsion drive, or the EM Drive, in a vacuum that replicates space. The EM Drive experimental system could take humans to Mars in just 70 days without the need for rocket fuel, and it’s no exaggeration to say that this could change everything.
But before we get too excited (who are we kidding, we’re already freaking out), it’s important to note that these results haven’t been replicated or verified by peer review, so there’s a chance there’s been some kind of error. But so far, despite a thorough attempt to poke holes in the results, the engine seems to hold up.
“Be waiting out front of the HAB, Watney, we’re not fucking waiting for you to get dressed. Places to be.”
Guys. Guys. I’ve been following this story for a while now and you don’t get it. Some guy made this and was like “well hi I made a thing and it shouldn’t go but it goes.”
And the science community was like okay that… there’s no way that works.
Then they tested it theoretically and it worked.
Then NASA was like okay but technically this breaks one of Newton’s laws so even if it theoretically goes it won’t like, actually go. So they built it and tested it more and it works.
So what we have now is the scientific community slowly cautiously freaking out because this GODDAMN EM DRIVE breaks the RULES OF PHYSICS but every time we test it, it FUCKING WORKS.
How cool is this????
Every time we’ve found something “broken” that functions, it means something is wrong with our understanding of reality. The next step is to figure out what, figure out what’s true, and open up a plethora of new scientific discoveries.
“So people say, what is there to be positive about? What is there to hope for? And my answer is always the same—Voyager. The two spacecraft we threw out into space with the hope of a planet behind them. One of them carrying a letter that said, “We are attempting to survive our time so we may live into yours”. The most hopeful letter any human being ever wrote. Our thoughts, our languages, our music all travelling now through interstellar space. The odds of either Voyager being intercepted within our lifetimes are infinitesimal, but that’s not the point. The point is that one day, so many days into the future we can’t even comprehend the number, some bored lifeform might scoop up a dead, battered piece of junk and find a planet’s hope inside. And if, against all odds, they can understand it, they might just train their sights on our backwater of space and find the place we once occupied and think, Damn. We missed a trick there. So here we are, going about our lives, and all the while the Voyagers are out there, hurtling onward. Every day you wake up they’re just a little bit closer to something amazing. And that’s what makes me smile every time I think of it. Voyager, and the journey never-ending.”—Voyager, Elisabeth Hewer (via elisabethhewer)
Do you have one thing your brain is always doing in the background? For example, constantly playing music or pondering random things (which lets you think about two things at once). This thing can also be particularly distracting or hard to think through when you’re having bad ADD/ADHD days.
I’m curious because a couple of people I’ve talked to have also said they have a “mental white noise” like listed above, and I would like to know how common it is among people with ADD/ADHD. So if you could reblog, tag, or reply with your “mental white noise” and if you just have ADD or also have ADHD that would be awesome. Or just reblog for signal boost would be cool too.
ayyy after your brilliant Purim story could you do one for Passover, since that's coming up, if you haven't already?
okay CAVEAT: i have, at times in my life, been a serious* student of ancient egypt and so while i am comfortable historically telling Mostly Untrue stories about ahasuerus (xerxes) and Mostly True stories about the maccabean revolt it is, technically, my duty as a historian to tell u all that Nothing In The Passover Story Actually Happened, There Are Literally No Historical Sources For Ancient Israelites Migrating To Or From Ancient Egypt At Any Point, This Didn’t Happen
*i have never been a serious anything
unfortunately for history, u know how historical accuracy in storytelling is just like hanukkah foods?
(no, how is historical accuracy in storytelling like hanukkah foods)
I Donut Care About It. okay so like
way back in the waybackwhen there’s this dude joseph, and due to a large number of improbable circumstances involving fashion choices, a huge pit, and some well-timed freud-style therapy, joseph becomes bros with the pharaoh of egypt. on account of this joseph’s entire family moves to egypt; on account of this all of their friends move to egypt; on account of this all the jews start living in egypt, because as u may know, we all know each other.
eventually joseph dies, and also joseph’s bro the pharaoh dies, and also a couple more pharaohs die after that, and finally the pharaoh is like WAITAMINUTE WE GOT A SHIT TON OF JEWS LIVING IN EGYPT. WHY AND HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
and decides the best solution to this problem is to make all the jews slaves, because of reasons
but unforch jews keep having babies, because… jews… so the pharaoh is all like U KNOW WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO? WE’RE GONNA TAKE EVERY JEWISH BOY BORN… AND WE’RE GONNA KILL HIM. THIS WILL HAVE NO REPERCUSSIONS WHATSOEVER.
you may ask to yourself, “hey, don’t the jews have, like, a god? where is god in all this?” u would be right in asking this, because the jews are also asking this question. where is god?? why is he not fucking shit up?? wasn’t there, like, a covenant or some shit?
and the answer is, after a couple hundred years god is like Huh Whatsit Whazza Huh Oh Shit Yeah Jews. Fuck. Yes. Jews. I Have Those Now. because this is what happens when u make deals with infinitely old and infinitely powerful spirits whose hobbies include “gardening” and “whining about gardening”.
so god looks around and there’s this lady, yocheved, who’s birthin’ a baby; and there’s a couple of midwives called shifra and puah who are like WOW THAT’S A BABY BOY??? HM OKAY GUESS WE GOTTA… WANDER OUT OF THE HOUSE… BEFORE WE COME BACK AND KILL HIM. SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO HIM BEFORE WE COME BACK. WOULD SURE BE A SHAME IF HE WERE TO MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEAR BEFORE WE COULD DO THAT THING.
the baby’s big sister, miriam, is like I GOT THIS. and she steals a basket and the baby and runs off and dumps them both in the river, where they whack into the knees of an egyptian princess, who is like “oh shit now i gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”
“i have an IDEA,” says miriam, popping helpfully out of the bushes. “why don’t you keep the baby and say he’s an egyptian and he won’t die. but also give the baby a BABYSITTER. wow i found one. she is jewish and also my mother. WHAT A COINCIDENCE HAVE A GREAT DAY”
so the baby, moses, is Definitely An Egyptian!! Not Jewish At All!! but raised by jews with jewish values. (THIS ALSO HAPPENED TO FOUNDING FATHER ALEXANDER HAMILTON. LOOK IT UP.) and identifies largely as a jew
and one day he’s wandering along the pyramids and sees an egyptian whipping a jewish slave. he goes, NAH BRO, and kills the egyptian.
…have u heard of conflict management???? says the pharaoh, and kicks him out of the country. where he wanders and wanders and eventually meets a dude, becomes a shepherd for him, and marries one of his daughters, cos that’s how the life cycle works in Whateverthefuck BCE
one day he’s a-wanderin out in the desert when he comes across a bush. (you allllll know this bit.) and the bush is on fire but it’s not burning up and it starts yelling about taking his sandals off, etc, etc, and moses is like holy shit, it’s god.
Yeah, says god. Yes. I Definitely Remembered That I Had Jews And Now I Am Here To Free You From Slavery With A Genius Plan.
wow!!! says moses. what’s your genius plan!!!
Tell Pharaoh To Make You Not Slaves, says god.
uh, says moses.
Look, says god. You Got Any Better Ideas, Hotshot? I Don’t Think You Do. And I’mma Send Your Brother With You Cos You Got A Speech Disorder. You Know How I Knew You Got A Speech Disorder? Cos I’m God. So Fucking There.
so moses heads back to egypt and is all like, sigh, okay, let my people go. look. i have this cool staff and it turns into a snake. it will eat your magician’s snakes. wow. this is not homoerotic at all. can we stop being slaves?
lol, says pharaoh.
WELL THAT FUCKING WORKED, says moses to god.
LOOK! says god. Look. Look I Have A Lot Going On Right Now!! Okay!! Jesus God!!! Always With The Judging!! Look, Have You Considered Turning Their Entire River Into Blood? That Always Works For Me.
THIS COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR FIRST RESORT INSTEAD OF THE FUCKING SNAKE THING??? says moses.
so they turn the river into blood. pharaoh is like, okay, dude, i can make water red too, we live in egypt, it is called iron in the soil.
god is like, Nah, I Got More, Watch This Shit. frogs start pouring out of the nile; pharaoh’s like FINE Y’ALL CAN GO.
god’s like cool!!! bam no more frogs!! moses is like COOL BRO THE FROGS ARE GONE SO WE’RE GONNA LEAVE TOMORROW. pharaoh’s like haha what? leave? who said you could leave? no one said you could leave. you gotta get that hearing checked moses bro
FINE, says god, and sends a shitton of lice; same deal happens, pharaoh is like YEAH and then is like UNYEAH. god sends a shitton of flies; god sends a livestock disease; god sends boils; god sends hailstorms; god sends locusts; god sends darkness for three days; pharaoh is like LOL, NOT LETTING YOUR PEOPLE GO; ralph fiennes and val klimer have a great duet; everything is terrible.
so god says to moses, Okay. Tell Your People, Take a Lamb And Slaughter It, And Paint Its Blood Above The Doorway Of Your House.
you’re gross, says moses.
No, says god. You Don’t Get It. This One’s Serious.
so the jews paint their doorways with lamb’s blood. moses goes to pharaoh, says, dude, i know we’ve had our bad times. but this is your last chance. i don’t want this to escalate, you don’t want this to escalate. sure, your people have been keeping my people as slaves and mistreating us, but there’s some shit that we do not want to do.
hahahaha, says pharaoh. knew u were too chicken to go through with it. have fun being slaves, nerds.
so moses goes home, and the sky opens up, and the jews pray in their rooms all through the night and open the doors in the morning to a wailing in the streets, because the angel of death has killed the oldest child in every single egyptian household.
Moses, says god. You Gotta Get Out Of Here. Don’t Even Let Your Bread Finish Baking. Just Run.
the jews grab their shitty unrisen bread and their living children and they run as far and as fast as they can until they hit the red sea. at which point they realize, well, they’re fucked, because pharaoh’s army is behind them, and it’s coming after them to take them back to be slaves again.
god has been following along in a pillar of fire and smoke, and god’s voice from the pillar says, Okay, Moses, This One’s On You, Raise Your Snake-Staff Thing Over The Red Sea. and moses does, and the sea splits in two– the waters pulling back, the dry land before them– and the jews run and run and run, and behind them, the enormous wave of the water crashes onto the egyptian army.
(brief interlude: AND THE WOMEN DANCING WITH THEIR TIMBRELS FOLLOWED MIRIAM AS SHE SANG HER SONG (HEY!) SING A SONG FOR THE ONE WHOM WE’VE EXALTED, MIRIAM AND THE WOMEN DANCED AND DANCED THE WHOLE NIGHT LOOOOOONG)
and they keep walking through the desert, and the bitter iron water becomes sweet when moses puts wood into it, and bread falls from the sky when they are hungry, and god says, Okay, I’ve Got A Place For You, It’s Not Five-Star Or Anything, But It’s Got So Many Livestock And Bees That It’s Literally Flowing With Milk And Honey.
that’s wonderful!!!! say the jews. oh my god you’re literally the best we love you oh my god!!!!
Cool, says god. How Does ETA: Forty Years Sound To You.
so they all gather at mount sinai, and moses walks up the mountain like okay, kids, you have literally one job and that’s to not worship anything, ‘kay? KAY, say the israelites.
moses goes to argue with god for a long while, and the israelites are like HE’S GONE, HE’S DEAD, LET’S GO, MOTHERFUCKERS, and melt down all their jewelry and make a cool cow out of it and start worshiping the cow. moses comes down and is like GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, smashes his tablets, has to go back up the mountain again.
Why Do I Even Keep These Assholes, says god.
i dunno, says moses. i guess if you wanted, you could wander off and let us be slaves for a hundred years. wait that would be terrible gosh you would never do that.
…Anyway, Let’s Get Stonecarving, says god.
down in the desert, we the jews make bad jokes at each other, get into arguments, poke at the gold cow bits, rest, wait for god to come back.
I keep seeing this fucking argument about trans people using bathrooms like “Well if that had been an option for me back in the day I totally would’ve signed up as a ‘trans-whatever’ to get into the girls’ locker room back in high school” (Yeah, the fuckwit on FB I saw earlier actually said ‘trans-whatever’).
Like, you really, genuinely think that you, as a 16 year old presumably straight teenage boy would have changed your name, requested everyone you know call you by different pronouns, changed your entire wardrobe and look, went to school presenting yourself as a girl, dealt with the bullshit you would likely have gotten from your parents, family, friends, classmates, teachers, doctors, neighbors, people on the street, and rearranged your entire life…
Because you maybe, might have possibly caught a glimpse of a titty in the locker room?
Yeah, it’s clearly the trans people we should be worried about.
I always find it interesting that they seem to think that declaring “Given the opportunity I absolutely would have been a sexual predator” is a defense of their position.
I always find it interesting that they seem to think that declaring “Given the opportunity I absolutely would have been a sexual predator” is a defense of their position.
I am just going to save this, modify pronouns as needed, and use it as a response to this. Forever.
I hate how some people are so arrogant or obnoxious when it comes to fandom shit like calm down you’re not some holy gate keeper to the land of whatever the fuck. Buzz buzz it’s Copernicus and he wants you to know that ur not the center of the universe so shut the fuck up and let people have their fun
