I’ve acquired like twenty followers in a week. And, y’know, I’m glad to see you and all, grab a party hat, etc, etc, but I just…what the hell kind of woodwork are y’all popping out of?
Marvel: ANYONE CAN BE BAD! IT’S UNPREDICTABLE! YOUR HEROES CAN FAIL YOU! PEOPLE MEANT TO PROTECT CAN BE VILLAINS!
Women who has spent 30 minutes explaining to the cops that her mini skirt has nothing to do with her sexual consent: Really?
Black Mother whose unarmed child was shot in the back: I had no idea.
Woman taking the bus while wearing a burka who has just extracted herself out of a conversation about how it’s okay now, she can wear whatever she wants to fall into a ‘conversation’ about how all terrorists are immigrants: I’m shocked. Shocked.
Black Man driving a BMW who has just been pulled over for the 4th time in 3 months: To find gambling going on in this establishment.
White dudes: I KNOW! It’s totally made me rethink my world view! *whistles loudly as he walks alone at night and takes the shortcut through the dark alley so he can get home faster to read his new comic*.
I’ve been working my way through Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton (very, very slowly). It’s terribly dry and if you aren’t used to reading historical biographies, I definitely don’t recommend it. But there are a lot of things in the biography that I assumed Lin-Manuel Miranda was exaggerating when he wrote “Hamilton.” Uh……… He wasn’t.
“He talks for six hours
The convention is listless”
Not an exaggeration. Hamilton literally went to the constitutional convention and made a SIX HOUR SPEECH regarding the importance of a true democracy versus a representative republic, why the government should be centralized, and how best to turn the Union into a world power on par with England’s status. Six. Fucking. Hours. Guys were falling asleep and Hamilton just kept fucking talking. He did not give a single fuck; people were going to listen to him.
“Laughing at my sister ‘cause she wants to start a harem”
“I’m just saying, if you really loved me, you would share him”
NOT AN EXAGGERATION. Angelica Schuyler had the hots for Hamilton from day one and made absolutely no secret of that fact. Eliza knew it and teased Angelica mercilessly (but in good humor), and Peggy’s sarcasm was so well-known that she and Hamilton would regularly have verbal sparring matches.
“Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after him”
“That’s true”
Not only is it true, but Hamilton banged almost every woman of society on the eastern seaboard. Women talked about his looks in their knitting circles and probably compared sexy stories. Like, the guy was so charming and attractive, women flocked to him.
“…they join forces to write a series of articles defending the new United States constitution entitle ‘The Federalist Papers.’ The plan was to write a total of 25 essays, the work divided evenly among the three men. In the end, they wrote 85 essays over the span of six months. John Jay got sick after writing five. James Madison wrote 29. Hamilton wrote the other 51!”
Not shitting you. He wrote tens of thousands of pages over his lifetime. TENS OF THOUSANDS. The man really was nonstop.
“Angelica, tell this man John Adams spends the summer with his family”
“Angelica, tell my wife John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway”
Despite the fact that they had essentially the same beliefs on how best to organize the government, Hamilton despised Adams and thought he was lazy and unwilling to get any real work done. He also saw Adams as short-sighted, cowardly, and gluttonous, and was very vocal about his thoughts that Adams had no clue what he was doing.
“Adams fires Hamilton, privately calls him ‘creole bastard’ in his taunts. Hamilton publishes his response”
“Sit down, John, you FAT MOTHERFUCKER”
Adams didn’t think Hamilton had any place in the US government because Hamilton wasn’t from the mainland. And Adams’ hatred for Hamilton’s birth status was no secret. Oh, and Hamilton DID publish his response:
“But this did not hinder me from making careful observations upon his several communications, and endeavoring to derive from them an accurate idea of his talents and character. This scrutiny enhanced my esteem in the main for his moral qualifications, but lessened my respect for his intellectual endowments. I then adopted an opinion, which all my subsequent experience has confirmed, that he is a man of an imagination sublimated and eccentric; propitious neither to the regular display of sound judgment, nor to steady perseverance in a systematic plan of conduct; and I began to perceive what has been since too manifest, that to this defect are added the unfortunate foibles of a vanity without bounds, and a jealousy capable of discoloring every object.”
TL;DR: Hamilton publicly called Adams a stupid, jealous, self-centered douchebag who had no business attempting to run the country.
So yeah. There are parts of the musical that embellish - of course there are. But for the most part? Hamilton really, truly never stopped working and writing and thinking until the day he died.
Fanon Captain Phasma: PhasMom, remembers the names of all her stormtroopers, a nice and caring person, friends with Kylo Ren and General Hux, only wants the best for you.
Canon Captain Phasma: Straight up burned down a village in the first 5 minutes of the movie, is jacked, wears armor plated with the melted down hull of the ship belonging to the former emperor/dictator that was totally up for genocide all the time, a person she idolizes
Also canonically she does remember the “names” of the soldiers under her command. Whether this is out of respect or just because she has an awesome memory is up for debate. Personally I see it as both idk.
I did not know the source of her chrome plating. Holy badass, Batman! Was that Palpatine’s ship? How did she get ahold of it? AMAZING backstory holy shit. :D
*whistles lowly* *pulls out magnifying glass* are we talkin subtext, implied, heavily implied, borderline, practically canon, not disproved by canon, creator-acknowledged, or actually canon
From now on anon hate will ONLY be accepted in essay format.
Requirements:
MINIMUM of 500 words
Proper citation - anything uncited will be deemed plagiarism, and result will in an automatic 0.
Please use APA or Chicago style citation. Do not even think of using MLA, this is not high school.
Wikipedia is not a source.
Please check for proper spelling and grammar. Any more than 5 mistakes will result in failure.
Turn in your hate on time (within one hour of a post you hated being made - anything after the hour will be ignored and deleted)
Rewrites and/or makeups are not permitted, this is a one time shot. If you have any questions please visit me during my office hours, which are listed on the syllabus.
I absolutely love ships where one character is usually serious and distant, but when they talk to that one person, their voice turns soft and gentle and is suddenly filled with fondness that they don’t show to anyone else.
I just saw X-Men: Apocalypse and I am on fucking CLOUD NINE, I am so giddy, it is so wonderful. My devoted geeky ass is so thrilled with that movie, I want to see it again IMMEDIATELY. Guys, the X-Men are everything to me, I love them so much.
This would be an EXCELLENT moment to send me prompts and/or come talk to me about the X-Men (or anything else!) because I am fucking bubbling with goodwill and delight and I want to share the love.
Sometimes I feel like unhinging my jaw & screaming at the entrenched establishment “HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT WE ARE ALL BROKE?” Because 9 times out of 10, when a “millennial” does something weird, untraditional, or otherwise confusing to previous generations, the core reason is because we’re broke, thus the old ways are not accessible to us, so we’re using new stopgaps and alternatives. An “obsession” with phones/social media? It’s a cheap way to socially connect when many of us are pressed for time due to work or can’t afford to go out. A fixation on food? It’s the last comfort splurge we can feasibly afford, when vacations and the like are not an optipn. A resistance to large life milestone acquisitions? Can’t afford houses, cars, raising children. Weird craft/homebrew/DIY hobbies? Trying to save money, or spin some profit in whatever way can be managed. Widespread cynicism, anxiety and depression? We literally have to take up group fundraising collections for things like emergency expenses, rent and medical care. We’re broke and it’s slowly driving us bananas.
No, it’s really annoying, because no one seems to separate or know the differences between allergies, intolerances and oral allergy syndrome. Allergies can be life threatening, and thinking that you can deal with them by yourself is just ridiculous.
yall really engaging in discourse with discourse generator
Are you guys literally saying that if you eat something you’re allergic to and some part of you swells, whether it be hands, feet, or throat, you can’t call it an allergy until you’ve seen a doctor about it? Sorry, no, that’s bullshit.
A person mildly allergic to peanuts swallows one for the first time and is unable to breathe properly for a while. From this they deduce that they have an allergy, and make sure to avoid peanuts because /they use their brain/.
No, fuck you. I’m aware that there are some stupid people out there who misuse self diagnosis, but honestly it’s a fucking brilliant tool to those with a sensible brain.
I don’t need to be /tested/ for food allergies/intolerances, because I have experienced them by living. Citrus fruit gives me stomach migraines, do I need a doctor to confirm that? no, because I myself am feeling the effects, and I know the symptoms and signs of stomach migraines, having had them since I was a baby.
You know your body better than anyone, never let anyone tell you that just because you can’t get yourself to a doctor, for reasons of money or distance, that what you’re feeling doesn’t exist.
Be sensible with self diagnosis, and it can get you far.
Also allergy testing give a lot of false negatives and false positives so even doctors recommend self diagnosis for what the food may be by trial.
^This. Especially with histamine intolerances and mast cell disorders which many allergist are not familiar with, let alone know the first thing about proper testing protocols for diagnosis. With those conditions a lot of the time you’ll only test positive for say one or two things but still have true symptoms even to the point of anaphylaxis. So yes, learn the signs, avoid your triggers (reactions are never predictable in severity), carry rescue meds, and make sure you list them in your medical info (it can help guide doctors for example if you react to bananas, avacado, kiwi (there’s a few more) there’s a chance you may react to latex).
I weirdly love that there are crotchety fandom elders around who say shit like “in my day, (insert fandom term) meant this specifically, but now you kids just use it to mean any old thing.”
It seriously gives fandom such a sense of heritage and family, like yes grandma, tell me more about how you had to write fic uphill both ways in the snow when you were my age.
its funny how black panther was advertised as team iron man in the promos when t’challa was highkey only there to kick buckys ass he at most knew like two people by name on the entire team
There should be an app that helps you keep track of all your tv shows like you can have a little schedule for each week and when stuff comes back from hiatus you get a notification and yeah that’d be great because I have no idea when any of the shows I watch are on
trans people taking testosterone need to drink orange juice cause testosterone weakens your immune system!! trans people taking estrogen need to drink milk cause estrogen causes calcium to be absorbed less
If you’re lactose intolerant you can eat nuts and if you’re allergic to oranges, most other fruits have vitamin c. If fruits aren’t an option, there’s also vitamin c supplements.
Good info. Pass it on.
If you’re taking estrogen make sure to also eat foods with vitamin D because your body needs that to process the calcium. Oily fish, fortified milk/yogurt/cereals, and eggs are a good source.
The only good thing to emerge from this Hydra!Cap trash is the acknowledgement of american comic’s rich Jewish history.
Jewish people did to comics the same thing black people did to American music.
They rolled up in here, looked around like “is this the best y'all could do?” Then sat down with their pens like “Don’t worry, we got u fam” and *muffled rap music in the background*
So yeah.
This is horrible, but you know what Jack Kirby WOULD be proud of? Two generations after WWII, Millions of children crying out at antisemitism, educating themselves about antisemitism and not letting this go unchallenged even though we have so much less systemic power than the people creating the media that needs to be challenged.
Because Kirby might be dead and Cap might be Hydra, but we don’t care, we’re still punching ol’ Hitler in the jaw.
And we’re still following that kid from Brooklyn who just wouldn’t quit.
This would be especially terrible for rural people. I don’t live in Alabama, but I do live in a rural area with no public transportation, period.
Unless someone can drive you somewhere in a car, when you’re in a very rural area, you can’t go anywhere at all. Even the closest gas station is over 10 miles away from my house. It’s an additional 10 miles to a grocery store or doctor’s office. And some of the specialists I see for my health are over 200 miles away, which is like a 400 mile round trip.
Cars are very important in many cities, particularly for people who live in neighborhoods without good public transportation and for disabled people for whom public transportation may not be accessible.
But there’s no way to really survive for most in rural areas unless someone in the household or a consistently available community member has a car to take you places.
please note this also intersects with ableism as many of us are not able to reliably take public transport.
isn’t… like… everything in America based around having a car?
Yup.
your choice will be between being able to buy the food and being able to get to where its available
so either way, you don’t get to have food
Arthur Orr submitted this bill, so if you want to drag him to hell for it, here you go:
DISTRICT 3 ADDRESS:
P.O. Box 305 Decatur, AL 35602 Phone:(256) 260-2147
MONTGOMERY ADDRESS:
Suite 730 Alabama State House 11 South Union Street Montgomery, AL 36130-4600 Phone: (334) 242-7891
FIELD OFFICES:
Decatur 2128 6th Avenue SE – Ste 504 Decatur, AL 35601
Huntsville Madison County Legislative Delegation 726 Madison Street Huntsville, AL 35801 (256) 539-5441
Athens Limestone County Legislative Delegation 110 College Street, Suite E4 Athens, AL 35611 (256) 262-9038
OK. Some people want to make the boycott larger. That’s not going to work. Here is why.
When a large company like Marvel or Disney sees a drop in revenue they’re going to want to know where and why. If you are indiscriminate in where you boycott they’ll see a drop of revenue across the board and not know what it is you are boycotting or why. If they specifically see a drop in revenue based on something very specific they’ll get the message.
My opinion here is to just boycott the Captain America book or anything Nick Spencer writes. Make the missing revenue obvious. If you subscribe to a digital service that sends you the comic cancel that service. They’ll ask you why you are cancelling. Tell them that you are cancelling because of what Nick Spencer and Tom Brevoort did to Captain America and his legacy.
My point here is that you can’t send a message if you are non-specific.
The only way I’ll accept the hydracap story line to play out is:
Steve’s busy being a nazi when Bucky goes to check on him and bucky’s like “wtf the fuck”
So he’s like “steve no” and steve’s like “steve yes” and Bucky’s like “that’s only funny when you’re a good guy doing reckless things and not a NAZI doing NAZI THINGS” and steve’s like “(ง'̀-‘́)ง” because he’s a dick now
but Bucky can win this
because Bucky’s got a secret weapon
an assassin you know and love who’s unafraid to step in
he’s constantly confusing, confounding the marvel henchmen
EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
Deadpool
so he goes to deadpool like “you know that thing you do where you break the fourth wall or w/e” and deadpool’s like “yeah?”
“can i use it for a bit?”
so they go off and fight the marvel writers (with swords) and then destroy the new issues (with fire) and then they go to see steve and steve hugs them all and he’s crying and thanking them for saving his characterisation
Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages
Oh, my hand
The parchment is very hairy
Thank God it will soon be dark
St. Patrick of Armagh, deliver me from writing
Now I’ve written the whole thing; for Christ’s sake give me a drink
Oh d fuckin abbot
Massive hangover
Whoever translated these Gospels did a very poor job
Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night
If someone else would like such a handsome book, come and look me up in Paris, across from the Notre Dame cathedral
I shall remember, O Christ, that I am writing of Thee, because I am wrecked today
Do not reproach me concerning the letters, the ink is bad and the parchment scanty and the day is dark
11 golden letters, 8 shilling each; 700 letters with double shafts, 7 shilling for each hundred; and 35 quires of text, each 16 leaves, at 3 shilling each. For such an amount I won’t write again
Here ends the second part of the title work of Brother Thomas Aquinas of the Dominican Order; very long, very verbose; and very tedious for the scribe; thank God, thank God, and again thank God
If anyone take away this book, let him die the death, let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever seize him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen
tag yourself. im the monk who wants you to hit him up in Paris
Follow Up to “Don’t Buy Steve Rogers #1″ post, but I want to stress:
This can not be a kneejerk reaction. Marvel seems like they have no interest in backing down. They are committing to this vulgar storyline. That means we need to commit to a long campaign. We need to have plans for the whole summer, including San Diego Comic Con.
Pre-Sales Matter to the Companies the most. Also, if a store over buys a comic, they are stuck with that non-refundable inventory. It’s bad for the stores. CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION NOW. Cancel before the stores can order issues #2 and #3.
We have to go after Disney. If this affects Disney’s box office or merchandise sales they will step in. Don’t buy merch. Don’t buy the Captain America: Civil War Blue-Ray/Digital. Support the Dr. Strange Boycott. Get Disney’s attention.
Please do not threaten the live’s authors/publishers. Yes, they are giant assholes for greenlighting this disgusting shock value scam. Unfortunately, the easiest way for Disney/Marvel to dismiss you is for them to think you’re “one of those crazy people from the Internet.”
Okay everyone. So while we’ve all been indignant and disgusted by Nazi Cap, the fact that his creators are Jewish, and that it goes against everything Steve Rogers was meant to stand for, there’s a few things the writers completely and utterly missed.
Now, I want to come out and say that I am not Jewish and that I am not trying to make this trivial to them. I think that it is abhorrent and I am completely, utterly shocked they would violate a character like this. I am not happy.
I also have yet to read the comic and, frankly, I’m not going to buy it. I won’t give Marvel money for this shit. What I have is what I’ve taken from tumblr and my own research, so take this with a grain of salt.
So while the fact he is now a Nazi and has never been, apparently, a good person, there is something important that I wanted to focus on.
Like the fact that Steve Rogers would have NEVER been chosen by HYDRA in the first place.
This was a big deal in the 20s and 30s. Google it. The short answer is this: the perfect race. The desired traits. The perfect human being. Sounds familiar, right? Hitler used it for his Aryan race. Blonde, blue-eyed, tall (i.e. what he wasn’t). We ought to know about that.
Well, here’s the thing–it started in the USA. Well, not completely. The idea of Eugenics has been around since Plato. But the idea that people who weren’t “perfect” should be removed from society became pretty big in the USA in the 20s. Hitler borrowed the principals of it from the US. You’ve heard of the Kennedys. The oldest daughter was sterilized against her will, lobotomized, and locked up. Don’t believe me? Look it up. This was common. It was common through the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. It was repealed in 1972. People who were mentally ill were locked away and sterilized. When it became too expensive to house those people, they government shut the program down and those people who had been locked away were suddenly homeless because no one wanted them. Hitler got his Nazi Youth from the USA, people.
Back to the topic at hand.
Steve Rogers was Irish and most likely Catholic. Click here and look under “early life”.
Remember little orphan Annie? With her cute little red hair? Yeah. That means she’s Irish. Not a big deal right? Everyone today loves the Irish. Being Irish or part Irish nowadays is, well, cool.
Yeah, no, not back then. The Irish were hated. You did not advertise the fact that you were Irish back then because you would be beat up. Annie was made an Irish girl because she wasn’t wanted. That reboot in 2014? Annie is now African American because they are among the children who are adopted the least, nowadays. HYDRA would not take Steve Rogers in simply because he was Irish. But hey! It gets better.
Steve Rogers wasn’t healthy.
External image
See, Eugenics only works if the desired people are healthy. You don’t want unhealthy people. So Steve, with his asthma and his heart conditions and his color blindness and his partially deafness … well. Yeah. HYDRA would have left him and his mother to die. His father is now a drunk in the comics, right? Drunk Irish. They would have been tossed for that. His mother was single. She worked instead of remarrying. Tossed for that.
So this woman who took Sarah and Steve in an indoctrinated him into HYDRA? Nope. Wouldn’t have happened–not even out of the “goodness of her heart.”
Also, literally the only people stopping Steve Rogers from being institutionalized and sterilized were Sarah and Bucky. When Sarah died, Bucky would have kept Steve out (MCU, for those fans.)
Steve is a good person. He would have been more loyal to Bucky than anyone else. That’s the MCU. In the comics, well … I guess Steve would have found a way to stay out.
So HYDRA would never have looked twice at poor little Steven G. Rogers. They simply wouldn’t have. He wasn’t “perfect.”
Personally, I think some of the reason why Steve was chosen for the serum was not only because he is a good person, but also because he was the exact opposite of what the Nazis and the Eugenicist considered desirable. It was sort of a “Fuck You” to the Nazis.
So while it’s horrifically offensive that Cap has been turned into a Nazi and that, suddenly, half his character no longer makes sense (Thor’s hammer? The fact he provably has no prejudices? The fact that he would have turned out like the Red Skull if he had been a bad person when injected with the serum?), it’s historically inaccurate. There is no way some Eugenicists would have looked at Steve and told him he was destined for greatness. There is no way a Eugenicists would have taken pity on poor, unhealthy Irish folk. There is no way a single mother and her sickly kid would have been accepted into the Nazi fold. There is no way Steve Rogers would have been indoctrinated into the Nazi ideals. He would have never been chosen in the first place.
The writers are completely ignoring history and completely ignoring the time period. The events and the people’s ideals played an ENORMOUS role in Steve’s life. The writers literally do not understand just what that time period was like. They threw everything out and ignored it. Not only have they done a disservice to the Jewish, Catholic, Romani, and Homosexual (and every other group that suffered under the Nazi reign–while 6 million Jews died, the total death toll was 12 million) communities they are doing a disservice to the USA’s history, both good and bad.
This is a problem. Sure, Steve Rogers as bisexual would be great. But this? I don’t care what anyone says. If someone tells you this is no big deal, tell them they don’t understand the cultural and historical impact this has. This comic may be lost in the recesses of time, but it still exists, now.
Some people may still remember the 20s and 30s, but there’s a century between the rest of us and that time period. Most of us can only know that era through history–and this is why the writers should have done that time justice. People often learn more fact through fiction than they do in school. This was an injustice.
And writers?
Only a handful of people ever saw Steve’s worth, andHYDRA was never one of them.
hey uh. i dont usually do things like this but, here we go.
heya, my name is mel ! before you scroll just know that im not asking for money or anything like that, please take a minute to read this.
as some of you know, i was in the hospital for a few days in january. i havent talked about it too much since, heres what happened.
so, i have this super, super rare blood disorder called paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria (PNH) and it effects my life constantly. i cant walk more than a few blocks without feeling weak, winded, sick. i get headaches, im prone to things like blood clotting and leukemia, i have severe anemia, etc. im at the hospital every week receiving the most expensive drug in the world, the only way to put it off and treat it. on top of that, ive gotten ~10 blood transfusions this year and i see more in the future.
my family has put their lives basically entirely on hold to be around for me. as you can imagine, this isnt the ideal situation for us.
now, as i said, im not going to ask for your money or anything. i would feel bad, that’s not what i need at all. there will be an option for that, though, if you cant help/would rather help that way.
here is the important part: the only known cure for PNH is a 10/10 bone marrow match
im white and usually this wouldnt be such a big issue, but i have ashkenazi jew ancestry, and its been a big obstacle in finding a bone marrow match for me. so here is what i ask of you
^^^ this link ^^^
this link leads to the service that you can use to see if you can cure me.
for free !!! all free ! they send you a free swabbing kit, and free envelopes for sending the swabs back. they ask you a few questions, but thats all and you dont have to pay any money at all.
even if you cant save my life, maybe you can save someone elses. so please, please, please, reblog this post.
and if you can, see if you can be my match. its the best thing you could do for me and my family right now. thank you so much.
and if for whatever reason, you would rather send me money for comfort things and food at the hospital and for my home life, my paypal is mel.oberon.brando@gmail.com
my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator
my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency
they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”
and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”
and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”
“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”
“oh i’m having a heart attack”
my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes
like, “what is your emergency?”
“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”
“… is it… your blood?”
“yes i think so”
“do you know where it’s coming from?”
“probably the stab wound”
“have you been stabbed?”
“oh yah definitely”
In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug
I mean, yes, but honestly the rambles of a person in an emergency are pretty funny (after everyone’s okay, for the record, it’s only funny after everyone is ALL RIGHT at the end of it).
i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay
I just imagined Sirius being called out to sorting and the hat getting ready to shout SLYTHERIN! almost before even touching one of Sirius’ hair - just like it has done for every Black and Malfoy for centuries- and then suddenly all he hears is this eleven year old thinking “Don’t you fucking dare”
And the Hat is like.
“Well. That’s a ballsy move if I ever saw one. Your family’s going to murder you.”
“I don’t care,” Sirius mutters under his breath.
“Well, if you’re sure…better be GRYFFINDOR.”
The Hall is dead silent as this skinny little eleven year old marches to the Gryffindor table and sits his ass down.
There’s muttering at the Slytherin table about it having been some kind of mistake. At the Gryffindor table too. McGonagall gets the Sorting back under way, and people are a lot less interested in who’s under the Hat now–everyone knows about the Ancient and Noble House of Black by their second year, and the batch of confused first year Muggleborns is being educated rapidly by their pureblood and halfblood peers.
James Potter goes up–there’ve been two more boys Sorted into Gryffindor, three girls, and the Lions barely remembered to cheer–and to the shock of absolutely no one, gets Sorted into the House of the brave as soon as the Hat touches his head, just like the rest of his family. It’s the first thing that’s really gone to plan so far.
He hands the Hat back to McGonagall and proves his Sorting almost at once when he sits down next to Sirius and raises his voice to be heard over the resumed Sorting when he says, “So you got Gryffindor just like you wanted, that’s great! Ignore those tossers,” he continues with a broad gesture to the Slytherin table, where almost Sirius’ entire family is glaring at the pair of them, “they’re just sour.”
“No shouting during the Sorting, Mister Poter,” McGonagall says.
“Yes, Professor,” James says, and immediately turns back to Sirius.
Sirius lets James needle him into a grin, and James scowls pointedly at the rest of Gryffindor House when Sirius’ back is turned, dragging the other boys from their year into the conversation as soon as food is placed out.
McGonagall feels what a more superstitious woman would call a premonition of doom.
